Didn't confound me, Andrew
Although 42 Microsoft apologists disagreed.
1472 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011
If microsoft vote for it, you know its a shit idea.
Turns out he's such a wanker someone on the actual boat he told the struggling fishermen to fuck off from has changed from voting in to out! Way to go asshole, why couldn't you have been more prominent from the start?
The Ethiopeans certainly love Geldof.
I asked Bob Keating, a superb young investigative reporter who had just started working with us, to look into this for a story. The assignment was simple — all this money had been raised, where was it going, was it actually doing good?
He discovered it was not doing good, but, horrifically, unimaginably, the exact opposite. The Ethiopian dictator, Mengistu, until then deadlocked in the war, was using the money the west gave him to buy sophisticated weapons from the Russians, and was now able to efficiently and viciously crush the opposition. Ethiopia, then the third poorest country in the world, suddenly had the largest, best equipped army on the African continent.
I didn't make it up! Galaxy S7, Google Maps, sat nav mode, default female voice, US locale. Clearly pronounced as the two separate words. Around Christmas thinking about it.
It's just so good I wish I was smart enough to make that one up.
Driving through Lancashire recently the Sat Nav merrily proclaimed in an American accent to head for Clit Hero. Gosh, that place sounds fun - shame I'm a bloke and couldn't find it. My mate reckons its somewhere near the middle of Scunthorpe, but he's no expert either.
This is but one small step away from the Tesco App not running unless you have a Tesco SIM in your handset.
RIP man - you made a huge difference.
What's the difference between "understanding" and "instinctively reacting due to evolutionary survival mutations"?
Yes, facts please. Like the fact the IPCC found that the police officer who tasered a blind pensioner in the back whilst walking away from him was NOT incompetent, and can now distinguish such individuals from young maniacs with Samurai swords.
It's 2013. A silence descends. The door at the far end of the bare bones-empty warehouse opens. The four figures in their equidistant chairs remain perfectly still as a figure enters through. It is a man. An outsourcery man. He stops a few feet in front of them - a crazy mismatched assortment comprising of a grizzled Scottish pensioner with dyed hair and a permanent scowl, a ten foot toff with his nose skywards and a couple more wannabees. Pointedly, an empty chair is directly in front of him, in line with the others seated.
(Nervous cough) "Hello Dragons. My name is Piers, and I'm here today to offer 0% return on a £20m investment. My plan is to fill that chair there by conning you and the TV producers into thinking I have some credibility. My USP is that I'll choose the latest thing in tech which none of you know anything about, but is getting super hyped so you'll appear to be cool and down with the kids by association. The beauty is you and the TV people don't need to know anything technical because I've been practicing my straight face routine with Vodafone for years - I know I can surely pull it off in front of the cameras. Ratings will soar because the audience will see how progressive you are in keeping up with the times - all the old money like hotels from Jock here brings was looking a bit dated. Just jump on the bandwaggon with Piers, and it'll all work out right in the end."
(Fill in the rest yourselves...)
@Tin99 Yeah! I'm quite proud of the fall '93 Yggdrasil CD I can see on a shelf as I write this. Last time I popped it in for a shufties it had the pre 1.0 Linux alpha binaries on.
I remember when I got it at the time thinking '94 will be the year of Linux on the desktop.
Alright, for the nit pickers, s/Linux/Obvious Unix derivative Apple gave their usual rounded corners treatment to
The entire mobile market has slipped through their fingers in front of their eyes.
It was within their power to do exactly what Google did - revamp a java UI layer on top of a Linux kernel. They didn't even need any hardware. The difference was, they had a massive head start with JavaME - all it needed was a modern makeover and they are done. Had the done this, ownership of java as well would have killed Android, in the form it took, stone dead. Boy, they must be pissed at this. Even the iPhone is basically just a custom UI layer on Linux, although there's no java involved. Trying to salvage something after the horse has bolted via the courts is just pathetic, and the whole industry can see this.
The fact the judge is having none of their whining is just causing them more pain. See icon.
When Android Desktop will be in full flow.
The icon says all.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Have an upvote.
5 Get a high court super injunction
The problem with that though is it's just like a candle in the wind - it's no sacrifice on todays internet where sorry seems to be the hardest word.
At these prices it looks like I'll need a new spambucket email address.
It's 2016 and there are people *really* using windows as a server? Wow. Does Clippy set up the accounts for them?
Tuttity fucking tut.
You are spot on. You can smell their desperation.
Microsoft predicted the decline of the new PC market, where traditionally all their windows license sales came from. They knew it was being displaced by mobile, so someone took the strategic decision to let Blamer handle it for in the crucial decade all this was playing out. Hence they are in todays position of not only being nuked out of that market, but scrambling round to try to squeeze money from their existing PC users, because as we've just seen the number of new ones is declining dramatically. Forcing W10 down the throats of their current customers is about the only option.
In their minds they think they've tried the carrot and are just now turning to the stick. Users would disagree with the former.
My Dearest Kind Friend,
I am contacting you today regarding a substantial asset available which must be disposed of with the utmost sensitivity. Today, the asset is seen as extremely valuable but a select few insiders know it is set to become worthless in the very near future, when it will be replaced with a system going by the codename "Penguin". Before this information becomes widely known, it will be possible to sell off via my associates if I can secure the assistance of a neutral unknown party such as your kind self. The assets full name cannot be disclosed yet - it has the codename WX - in case this information leaks and the value deteriorates even further. I assure you with great trust there are many people with the misguided belief this will actually increase in value, so time is of the essence.
Please kindly reply kindly with your kind agreement, you kind person you
How much I've enjoyed all El Regs stories on the beast this week?
It's been epic, thanks a million..
I think there were some smart moves from Google here. For example, how on earth do you get the idea of what this is about over to the common man? It's very difficult to explain without getting into coding details. So, they brought up the idea of a food menu. Say it has burgers, fries and drinks on it. That's a generic menu - the kind of thing you see outside burger joints. Then you consider actual food using this and you have McDonalds version of a burger called a "Big Mac", whereas Burger Kings are called "Whoppers" - and the same variation for the other foods, and other burger joints. Clearly the "Big Mac" is an actual specific burger that McDonalds has invested billions in the branding and development of, and they quite rightly own every detail of it, and so do Burger King for theirs. It is, however, merely a burger.
So this is trying to claim you own this generic food menu, the result being every vendor from these global conglomerates to the hot dog cart outside your local football ground must then pay you to use. When put like that...
I wish this server would give me a lot less information about what's going wrong. I love Googling "" to see if anyone else has had this error in this situation, Googling "stuff.stuff.stuff.stuff()" let's me find the answer right away, and I'm an Oracle consultant paid £250 an hour.
What a waste. Even though there ain't half been some clever bastards behind windows mobile, I don't think microsoft employees will find many reasons to be cheerful at its demise.
@ShaolinTurbo All that, plus mobile Clippy as the UI, and I'm in.
Btw typo in orig post, of course I meant "but likely a Nokia/Samsung" ...
In 2011 microsoft were deciding whether to go with Android. They chose not to, and eventually bought, raped and murdered Nokia. They are now completely irrelevant in mobile.
There are two fascinating what-ifs around this. First, had Nokia been able to resist them, and release their own Android phone, we'd not see the massive Samsung Android dominance we have today, but likely a Nokia/Android equal split with both more than capable of innovating and delivering the quality needed to keep ahead.
The other one is Symbian. Don't laugh - this is 2011 days. Given that microsoft decided to go their own way anyway, what would have happened if they had done this but instead used the massive engineering resource they just bought to further develop Symbian to the point it had the same iOS/Android features? Would we today see the duopoly, with microsofts own at < 1%, or would "Microsoft Symbian" be a realistic 3rd contender with all the mindset, ecosystem leverage and brand loyalty that came with it, if handled right?
Oh, and Donald Trumps wigmaker.
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