* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1429 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

BlackBerry sees a rainbow just around a corner

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Only Microsoft tops them in the totally self-inflicted wound stakes

The 21st centuries mobile losers, in order of asshattery:

1. Microsoft. Imploded because it was too smug to think it could fail.

2. Blackberry: Sat on its corporate laurels for too long.

3. Nokia: Had the chance to go next-gen with Android which would have saved it, but instead believed Microsofts burning platform bullshit. About to fix that now it's free of the beasts evil clutches, which is still a big gamble but pretty much their only hope.

1
1

Apple ordered to cough up $2m to store workers after denying rest breaks

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Do no Evil!

You're going to the toilet wrong.

That's this lot.

1
0

Microsoft says LinkedIn will make Trump, Brexit, voters feel great again

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: And this just in ..

Microsoft says buying LinkedIn was the key enabler for Jeremy Corbyn to become Prime Minister, a statue of Kelvin MacKenzie being erected at the Kop and David Cameron being made honorary president of the UK Pig Farmers alliance.

2
1

Team Trump snubs Big Internet oligarchs

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: IBM?

Maybe he needs do draw on their experience as he formulates his plans for the Mexicans.

2
0

Investigatory Powers Act signed into UK law by Queen

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Here's the full list...

And when the tories have fully privatised the NHS it will be the health insurance companies who'll be using it to cherry-pick the most profitable citizens, and vastly inflate or even refuse those who they deem to be not so profitable.

5
0

The Reg seeks online community manager

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Pint

Here's my CV

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/search/?q=bob+vistakin

When do I start?

3
0

Is password security at just $1/month too expensive for most?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Pint

Re: So they want me to trust an online service with all my passwords?

People really use throw-away hotmail accounts? What on earth for?

Back on topic - check out Password Safe - it addresses all these concerns. The db is encrypted and stored locally, but you can automatically sync via your preferred cloud service *if* you choose (Dropbox support is built in directly), the db never hits their servers, dunno how a limit on users could even be implemented when, as just stated, you can share the db anyway and of course its free and always has been.

This ain't an ad - it's just based on my experience of having to manage zillions of passwords which I have to change quite often.

4
0

Salesforce rules out Twitter bid

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

#idmissitlessthanlinkedfuckingindisappearingtoo

Am I trending yet?

0
0

Virtual reality is actually made of smartphones

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Look up "Conflation"

Lot's of talk here about iPhones being mankinds saviour, and lots of talk about everyone using smartphones. Yet the iPhone market share continues to fall. Subtle. Is there some agenda here I missed?

11
8

Google's Chrome cloaks Pirate Bay in red screen of malware death

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Megaphone

Extra Torrent

Hadn't seen that one before, thanks. Works fine with the tor browser - no scary big red warnings and the nanny ISP is no wiser, as usual. Any other PB backups you can plug?

4
0

Windows 10 market share fell in September

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Joke

Re: ... we know mass enterprise adoption is still to come - ?

Correct.

Enterprises are just starting the Windows 8 rollouts. Windows 10 is years away.

10
5

Good God, we've found a Google thing we like – the Pixel iPhone killer

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

VR out of the box - something Apple will start innovating now

Once the Cupertino photocopiers have started up.

And the best judges you can buy in Texas for those retrospective comedy patents.

6
7

Ludicrous Patent of the Week: Rectangles on a computer screen

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Dear USPTO

I am writing to you to inform you of a knowing voilation of patent D767,583 describing the ornamental design for a display screen portion with graphical user interface. The violator has placed content on a website using the square areas described in the patent, and cannot argue it was unaware of said patent because it granted it.

As of writing, this site is still online at USPTO but once word spreads of such a willful violation it might not be for long.

Yours

Whistleblowin' Bob Vistakin

39
0

Microsoft warns Windows security fix may break network shares

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Nothing to see it will be sorted

'Splain that to the hospitals, fire departments, police forces, airports, government bodies etc. Or is the best advice they just wise up and avoid all this shit all together?

7
0

Revealed: The true horror of being a big CEO

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

I heard word Hurds turd erred and blocked the John it was so large.

2
1

UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

I've not seen "The Company You Keep" - downloading now, thanks.

Let's see what all the fuss is about. Oh, then I think I'll point my torrents at a Streisand movie.

2
0

Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Devil

BAe internal mail

In the 1980's someone sent a manager a turd in a jiffy bag at BAe Hatfield through the internal mail.

With todays technology DNA tests might well have been used to find the aerospacial excreter. See? We can play that game too.

2
0
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Log leaving stool secreter

My God, you certainly know how to lay it on thick.

2
0

Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Hats off to El Reg for leading the way by never showing any ads

Oh, wait ... that's what that APB thing up there means?

22
0

Lack of Hurd mentality at Oracle OpenWorld: Co-CEO's cloud claims fall flat live on stage

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Too little too late

First it's getting its ass handed to it on a plate by Google in court after chucking its weight around, now its blabbing its going from zero market share to toppling AWS the leader in front of a live audience capable of telling it like it really is.

Here's humble Mr Ellisons answer to Steve Ballmer ridiculing the iPhone. This is why you have zero market share, asshole, and watching your desperate scramble to catch up is hilarious.

10
0

Let's Encrypt won its Comodo trademark battle – but now fan tools must rename

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Big Brother

Let's boycott

Comodo

I only have 2 of their certs left now, registered last year before their Apple style delusions of grandeur kicked in. Until they expire that is, then they are no more.

19
1

Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

The BBC is skint?

It's been hand-ringing with this irrelevant shite all week, and finally the bleeding obvious dawns on it.

Fun fact - the 450 presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc the BBC sent to cover the Brazil Olympics, all with first class flights/accommodation, cost more than the UK government spent funding sports in its entirety in the 4 years since the last Olympics.

Who's money is it again?

14
24

$200k Android bug contest

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Whereas Apple, Facebook etc throw you in jail

Because they know best.

0
2

Apple: Crisis? What innovation crisis? BTW, you like our toothbrush?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

iPhone7 - pay more, get less

Same as an iPhone6 but with a smaller screen and the headphone jack removed.

You can only buy headphones that work with it from, err, Apple, for $159.

That's thinking fucking different all right.

11
1

Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Gimp

You're applying for it wrong

Other media outlet take note - kiss Apple butt or become little people.

Never mind, the way things are heading it won't be a problem for long.

21
3

Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Keith Vaz is about to have ample time on his hands.

4
0

IBM swings axe through staff, humming contently about cloud and AI

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: The American Dream

IBM was a strange beast. Its products and services were no different to any others apart from the typically 10x higher prices they charged. How did they stay in business? Well, it was always the top corporates executives and governments they cozied up to. Very,very cozily indeed, if you get my drift. Lots of 2 week conferences in Bermuda, where the execs families were invited too for the half day spent watching powerpoints, that sort of thing. Not a sustainable business at all - once rumbled, never repeated..

2
0

Making us pay tax will DESTROY EUROPE, roars Apple's Tim Cook

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

You're taxing us wrong

Someone had to say it.

33
0

Facebook replaces human editors with McChicken romping, Fox News faking AI bots

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Joke

David Cameron:

Wow, she's hot, I wouldn't mind a piece of that.

I suppose those who never went to Eton would find the girl pretty, too.

1
0

UK.gov depts in post-Mad Frankie Maude landgrab over IT spending controls

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Nice pic El Reg, I get the jerrycan reference

What a star. Doubly so.

0
0

Chocolate Factory exudes Nougat as Android 7 begins rollout

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Bullshit, Nexus 5 can't run Android 7..

CM13 will almost certainly do it. I have a Nexus 5 so am hoping so.

I'm running Marshmallow on a Nexus 7 2012 (first gen) via CM12 and Jelly Bean on a Nexus One via CM7. Both are perfect and both were claimed never to be up to the job.

I even flashed a Moto E 2014 1st gen I got 6 months ago when a Tesco I was in were offloading them for £59 to CM12 the same day. I still don't know if that officially has Marshmallow yet - for the price that was criminal.

6
0

Microsoft promises free terrible coffee every month you use Edge

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

I've run out of ways to take the piss any more - it's no longer needed.

They are now beyond even the most extreme fucking parody of themselves you could possibly imagine.

They pissed away phones, pissed away all credibility in their desktop OS's since windows 7, pissed away their IE browser share market lead even though it was bundled by default with the OS everyone was using, and now want to pay people to use their new browser instead.

Like I've always said, when people have a choice, they choose not to use microsoft. Their entire history is based on the premise they could do what they wanted because their users had no choice.

Now they do. Bye.

19
0

Oracle campaigns for third Android Java infringement trial

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Re: The never ending Story

Did whoever was bankrolling SCO ever fully come to light, I innocently ask?

5
0

Google hopes to sniff out OS X badware

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Devil

Santa has an interesting anagram

Just sayin...

1
0

Microsoft’s stealth scripting engine arrives on Android

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Hmm, stealthy sneakware from Microsoft, eh?

Gosh, it's almost as if they are trying to embrace, extend then extinguish something.

1
0

Big Red alert: Oracle's MICROS payment terminal biz hacked

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Yup, and these assholes can't be that much of an Oracle if they couldn't even see this coming.

1
0

Breaking 350 million: What's next for Windows 10?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

What's next for Windows 10?

Ads, ads ads ads and some more ads. Ads on your login screen, Ads on your logout screen. Ads on your ads. Then more ads. Ads on your start menu. Ads in every help screen. Ads on your home page. Then more ads.

78
8

Linux 4.8 rc1 lands, with Surface 3 support promised!

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Keep on hacking

Video.

9
2

BlackBerry: Forget phones, Lawsuits In Motion is back – and it's firing off patent claims

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: The sign of a dying company

@bazza If they're just gonna make Androids from now on they've already been acquired.

3
2
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: The sign of a dying company

#boycottblackberry

4
6

UK's 'Sir King Cash' card fraudster ordered to cough up £560,000

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
IT Angle

Define "victims"

I'm no expert, but I keep hearing about the card owners being reimbursed immediately if the card issuer detects fraud - it's one of the major selling point after all. So aren't we really talking about the banks chasing this money, not Joe Public?

10
4

Seagate in 10TB drive brand brainstorm

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Trademark infringement impending?

I fucking do. The only drives over the last 10 years to consistently go fubar on me were *all* barracuda. Its at the point now if I even see one in a server I advise it get swapped. OK, OK, I know the tech today *must* be better - right? But even seeing the name makes me shudder.

4
2

Microsoft Azure doubles up to $800m a quarter – and is wiped out by dying phone sales

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Nokia 2.0

These numbers are peanuts compared to the $26bn they are about to buy Linked In with, trash, then give away in a firesale in a few years time.

7
0

Windows 10 a failure by Microsoft's own metric – it won't hit one billion devices by mid-2018

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Google says thanks

The extra time polishing Android Desktop will be really handy.

Oh, and good luck with that 2020 date once its out.

7
0

Windows Phone users beg Pokémon Go creators for attention

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Age old problem

Same happened to Skype.

It's happening to Linked In right now, too.

2
0

Samsung deals out microSD-crushing faster fingernail flash cards

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Headmaster

"Sony Ericsson"?

Gosh, it's also a time machine.

0
0

Prominent Brit law firm instructed to block Brexit Article 50 trigger

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Headmaster

This "Parliament" you speak of

Since we're talking about ignoring the democratic will of the people, we must apply this new rule to the last general election, in which case none of them are MP's any more.

6
0

Microsoft's Windows 10 nagware goes FULL SCREEN in final push

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: A final throw of the dice before

@tony72

They could start introducing new features that you only get if you subscribe.

Like removing the ads the free users will be bombarded with at OS level, like even before you log in etc.

14
2
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Blue Screen of Despair

I'd go for BSE - Blue Screen of Extortion.

30
1

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017