* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1518 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Cost-hurling IBM seeks more volunteers for employment bonfire

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Typo

El Reg understands that up to 1,100 new positions in India are becoming available.

FYFY

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Android flaw lets attack code slip into signed apps

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Woah - the clue is in the earlier fix

So someone reads a bugfix list which Google released, saw it corrects an older problem, then "announces" they, themselves, personally using all their expert security skills, have found a vulnerability which, err, only affects older versions?

Way to go, Sherlock.

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Nokia 8: As pure as the driven Android - it's a classy return

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

It's fantastic to see such a great start

Well done clawing back from the dead, Nokia. Keep up this momentum and don't just throw it away for no reason. I mean - what kind of idiots would do that?

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From the graaaaaave! WileyFox's Windows 10 phone delayed again

Bob Vistakin
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Jingle bells, IBM tells more staff it is D-day ♫

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

They were rumbled a decade ago

They've always charged 10x more than anyone else for basically the same thing. 25 years ago when I was at BT this was the inside sick joke, but because we were all only dealing with corporates it was the norm.

The rot set in 10 years ago, and the chickens are now firmly home roosting.

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The End of Abandondroid? Treble might rescue Google from OTA Hell

Bob Vistakin
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Boffin

It's not just phones any more

Android Things, Googles IoT offering, aims to do for them with IoT what Android did for them with mobile. The current AT release is based on Oreo, which is where Treble was introduced. System upgrades and base hardware portability for IoT is a world of hurt which makes smartphones look simper than Diane Abbott's abacus. It's very much in Google's interest to nail these fragmentation issue across all hardware, not just smartphones.

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This is peak AI: Bot to guest edit Radio 4's Today programme

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

It may be peak AI, but it's sure not peak R4 Today

This is something only a human could ever do, and fully appreciate.

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Wait, did Oracle tip off world to Google's creepy always-on location tracking in Android?

Bob Vistakin
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Just exactly why is Oracle so pissed off?

When Google used Java for Android, Oracle was only known for their vastly overpriced but basically me-too database - as they are now, for that matter. Sun, the then-owner of Java, was put up for sale and Google spectacularly blundered by not buying it, even though they were very much in the frame and Oracle was spoken about as a relevant contender as much as, say, McDonalds. To make matters worse, Google had the cash. It's gone down as the biggest mistake they ever made.

However, we are where we are, and have to deal with Oracle's new patent trolling business. To hear them today, you'd think they somehow had some involvement in mobile or java before all this when clearly they had neither. That must have hurt - it's like Microsoft being forced to hold their nose and go all-in with Android because of their suicide in the mobile industry. Only money, not hard work, nor innovation, has allowed Oracle this fake outrage at their "property" being violated. But this lie is constantly repeated, and in time the truth will become eroded to the point at which people may start to believe they actually did make some kind of positive contribution other than crocodile tears.

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BT plots to slash pension benefits for 32,000 staff

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

So, how's the purchase of EE working out for you then?

Rebranding as Unemployment Everywhere next?

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Google's answer to the Pixel 2 XL CRT-style screen burn in: Lower the brightness

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Avoid

When's the Pixel 3 out?

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Atto, boy! Eggheads fire laser for 43 attoseconds, fastest Man-made spurt

Bob Vistakin
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Boffin

Re: Sounds like cheating

So they know their position AND momentum? That'd be the real breakthrough, to put it mildly...

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IBM offloads Notes and Domino to India's HCL Technologies

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Jesus, is Notes still going?

That's the one IBM knew was so full of bugs they wouldn't touch it with a bargepole for their own internal use, but were happy to sell it to customers whilst charging them for fixing it.

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Go on IBMers, tell us what you really think

Bob Vistakin
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Intense Bowel Movement

The management -> employee process.

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FYI: iOS apps can turn on your camera any time without warning

Bob Vistakin
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Just needs better AI

Same applies to Android.

Yes you can use my camera, but only when I want you to.

Oh, and some mind reading ability would be required too.

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Japan finds long, deep tunnel on the Moon

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

It changes things slightly

For the last decade or so it looked like the first human to walk on the moon would be Chinese, now it's clearly a race between them and the Japanese.

We live in interesting times as truths protective layers become uncovered, one by one.

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Review: Magic Leap and Fantasy Funding Fiasco

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

One word

Steorn.

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Raspberry Pi burning up? Microsoft's recipe can save it and AI

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Plus 4G onboard flash. Pis can't be used at present for a real IoT applications - SD cards die very quickly under such sustained loads.

Plus an optimised new Android Things release: 5.1 is a step backwards in terms of performance. Not nice, but understandable - Android 8 Oreo, which it's based on, was a gigantic platform shift...

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Microsoft's compute intensive AI task

Keeping track of incoming security reports?

Calculating the loss of revenue following it's mobile exit?

Searching for a market segment it can't royally screw up in?

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IBM: We're now a, what's not losing money? Ah, a cognitive cloud champ!

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Nowadays you always get sacked for choosing IBM

That can't help much.

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How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Microsoft has already "shown what follows"

It's all here at this website.

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Microsoft's foray into phones was a bumbling, half-hearted fiasco, and Nadella always knew it

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Wahay!

Cheerio.

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2019: The year that Microsoft quits Surface hardware

Bob Vistakin
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This is shocking

Microsoft still make hardware?

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Microsoft may have its groove back but it's binned 'Groove'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Let's ditch mobile, let's ditch music

Microsoft understands it's users as well as a royal understands a minimum wage slave.

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My name is Bill Gates and I am an Android user

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Visionaries!

In the first edition of Bill Gates book "The Road Ahead", 1994, the word "internet" appeared 4 times.

I had an email address in 1991 via CIX, for Christs sake.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Thriller

Well, they were right about a phone platform dying at least.

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Web devs griping about iPhone X notch: You're rendering it wrong

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Leopards and spots

So Apples fantastic new innovation is to cut a weird hole in the screen and blame everyone else for not conforming - even to the point at which it wants to change CSS industry standards?

Yet Service Workers, a fantastic cross-browser (bar one, natch) innovation which dramatically boots offline web support might finally see an appearance in Safari after years of Apple shouting and dragging its feet?

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Microsoft's AI is so good it steered Renault into bottom of the F1 league

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Not for the first time

Gosh, they sure do have form with cars. And the fun today, as then, with Consumer Reports just never seems to end.

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Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

These "new" iPhones

Bezel-less screens, wireless charging and on screen home buttons. Wow, that's so innovative - where do they get their ideas from?

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Google to relieve HTC of its phones biz – report

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: My G1

That Gemini looks so damn cool. Android, touch screen, WiFi ... it's what Psion would be putting out today had they continued with PDA's.

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Bob Vistakin
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Coat

Re: ADD

Nokia

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

My G1

Fast approaching 10 years old now, says he with a proud glint in his eye.

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Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

The hatch cut her head off?

Yes m'lud. And the force of this spun her so much she became wrapped entirely in a tarpaulin, where all this banging about made some nearby stones get all tangled up in ropes which wrapped themselves around her. Then she fell into the sea.

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Crowdfunding scheme hopes to pay legal fees for Marcus Hutchins

Bob Vistakin
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Security Now

Not expressing an opinion here, just reporting on what was discussed on this weeks podcast, and elsewhere.

Marcus is a malware software development expert - this is what he does for a living. Suppose he wrote WannaCry and it accidentally got out into the wild. He'd see the damage being done to the NHS etc, maybe panic, maybe want some glory or whatever. He'd be in the perfect place to miraculously discover the kill switch - a unique feature not generally found in other malware.

MI5 knew the FBI would pick him up, so let him go there and thus avoided a very diplomatically messy extradition process/trial.

God - I hope this is just speculation :-( Hmm - that is an opinion, I guess.

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New York Police scrap 36,000 Windows smartphones

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Please tell me

Isn't the same being done to their surface shite which no-one wants to touch with a 50 foot bargepole? Look for the eBay firesale coming your way real soon now. I can't for the life of me remember who also did this with kit which could be made perfectly usable by flashing with Android - was it some Amazon phone flop early on maybe?

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

These days, you always get fired for choosing microsoft

I'm sure It's Been Mentioned somewhere a similar phrase was used in different times, relating to a different company.

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Ad blocking basically doesn't exist on mobile

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Doesn't exist.. my ass..

Same here, but I've recently noticed apps detecting rooted devices and refusing to run. Most recently it was the Tesco PayQwik one, which is even worse because when I installed it there was no problem, it's just an update that now throws a fit. The message waffles on about the phone being more susceptible to malware because it's rooted. Some banking or finance app did it a while back too, can't remember which now because, err, it never made it to my phone.

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IT worker used access privs to steal £1m from Scottish city council

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Seizing his pension?

"What the actual fuck did he do with the money?" - it says he gambled it away straight into the bookies pockets.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Seizing his pension?

His jail time will be fun. Lags pay tax too, and he's now the million quid target...

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Nokia's comeback is on: The flagship 8 emerges

Bob Vistakin
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Re: I wonder if any ms execs have seen this film?

I suppose some balance regarding how much times have changed is needed. Like the marvellous quote from a Nokia exec that using Android is like peeing in your pants to keep warm.

Lovely, and would make a great tagline on the marketing campaign for this new model.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

I wonder if any ms execs have seen this film?

I spit on your grave.

It's great. An innocent girl gets brutally raped and left for dead. Slowly she recovers, only to carefully and meticulously exact her revenge on those who wronged her. In the end, her triumphant comeback is finalised when the evil bastards who did it to her are wiped out completely.

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Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: I'm at a loss

Consumer Reports agrees.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Stupid Microsoft

In a way, you could blame the users for this.

After all, if you're so fucking thick you haven't got the message by now about how microsoft should be avoided at all costs, you deserve the inevitable shit coming your way.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Microsoft lying about surface?

But they said it ran internet explorer so well.

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Don't buy Microsoft Surface gear: 25% will break after 2 years, says Consumer Reports

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: I could go postal!

Well, if we're about to see a firesale with loads going for pennies on eBay, it might be worth checking if they can be made useable by flashing with Android then.

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Windows Subsystem for Linux is coming to Windows Server

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

A turd in a trifle

Ingredients

1 packet trifle sponges, broken into 5cm/2in pieces

½ packet of amaretti biscuits or 150g/5oz macaroons or ratafias

150ml/5fl oz sweet sherry

1 tbsp cognac

4 tbsp blackberry or raspberry jam

450g/1 lb fresh blackberries

450g/1 lb fresh raspberries

85g/3oz toasted flaked almonds

600ml/1 pint ready-made custard

plus one fresh 6"x1", sharply tapered

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Windows Subsystem for Linux to debut in Windows 10 Fall Creators Update

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Standardisation is always welcome

Will be nice seeing them finally get the slash the right way round.

C:/Windows/HeresYourVirus is what we're talking about - right?

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Microsoft: Get in, IT nerds, you're now using Insider builds and twice-annual Windows rollouts

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Has my browser broken?

What's with all the wasted space to the left of the main stories?

Is it a nod to the sad farewell of windows mobile? OK, just for its remaining user:

There is a lo

making it har

can't see the

width of the

poor layout

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Wisconsin badgers Apple to cough up half a BEEELLION dollars for ripping off chip designs

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Live by the sword...

You're chipping it wrong.

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Take that, gender pay gap! Atos to offshore hundreds of BBC roles

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Hmm, I wonder...

Will any of the dozens of managers "living" in 5 star hotels for literally years whilst "working" at Salford Quays, who still have homes darn sarf and are there due to "relocation" be affected? The annual hotel costs are in the millions for these hardworking "managers", who naturally have only the public purse in mind.

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Fake Newspaper steals Reg design to spruik storage upstart

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Superficial

It gets worse: check out the shape of the corners on that laptop.

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