* Posts by RichardB

245 posts • joined 29 Nov 2006

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Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale

RichardB

I can't help thinking that there's another conclusion here

What they are really concluding is that in order for this universe to be a simulation, it requires a whole new form of computing capability that we are not currently aware of.

In other words the simulation can only be from us in the future, or a terrifyingly more technologically advanced species than ours.

Except of course that if we are a simulation, then us in the future can't create us in the past, unless of course they have taken over the simulation and are themselves running a historic 1st person simulation game, or indeed broken out of the simulation and somehow sequestered a server for their own creative purposes. In which case they wouldn't necessarily be us, but an earlier generation of sim...

Not to mention that if we are a simulation we are not strictly going to be in the same classification system, let alone similarity of species to the programmers and engineers that created us.

What fun.

2
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DataCore tech cranks wheezing SQL Servers to ridiculous speeds

RichardB

Briefly interested, then I saw the price, the lack of compatibility with real world SQL servers, and realized it was April again already.

3
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Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

RichardB

Where have I heard similar before...

Oh yes... we are a(n) {insert laughably inaccurate business model here} company not an IT company... we Integrate we don't Develop...

Sure...

Let me see you integrate that word document mission statement, after all its just joining a few words together in a tool.

9
1

Uncle Sam outlines evidence against British security whiz Hutchins

RichardB

Does he sound like a baddie?

What's his accent like?

Seems the merkins believe that anyone with certain british accents and a bit of independent thought must be an evil villain...

30
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Photobucket says photo-f**k-it, starts off-site image shakedown

RichardB

Yes, very much so.

Just look at the manner in which UK Students are drip fed debt as part of the long term plan to ensure 'credit' is seen as both normal and a good thing... it's all interest free to start with, then when you are so far in there's no hope to climb back out, they hit you with the fees and interest for the next 20 years or more.

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America throws down gauntlet: Accept extra security checks or don't carry laptops on flights

RichardB

Vigilance, citizen.

3
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Intel's Skylake and Kaby Lake CPUs have nasty hyper-threading bug

RichardB

Re: Crap quality

Misread that somewhat... thought you were asking if the Managers are shot at Intel.

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Debian devs dedicate new version 9 to the late Ian Murdock

RichardB

Law is tricky huh?

They can't call the software what it's called because someone owns the trademark on the name, but they can call the other software something that someone else made... oh never mind, I'm sure they know what they are doing.

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Connectivity's value is almost erased by the costs it can impose

RichardB

Re: Internet = ( IsSecure ) ? Valuable : Useless

"if non-trivial use of the internet is to be better than useless, it absolutely HAS to be SECURE. No one seriously believes that online banking will cease to be a thing"

Um... I do. There will come a point at which security simply cannot keep up and it's just game over.

Not long to go now, I reckon.

1
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Capita call centre chap wins landmark sex discrimination lawsuit

RichardB

Time to pop em out

I guess that if everyone is right about this being likely to affect his career path with this employer, the obvious solution is to embark on the creation of a larger family, maybe look at taking shifts for the next few years - 4 weeks on, 48 weeks off, with 2 for the Mrs?

If he get's his timing right so he is rostered over xmas/new year to take advantage of the public holidays and general feebleness of organisations at that time of year, management might struggle to schedule too much vindictiveness into the small work windows in his schedule.

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Rustle up a privacy research project and ICO queen Liz will see you handsomely rewarded

RichardB

Too late. Far too late.

It's over. There is no going back.

All your data are belong to anyone.

0
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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

RichardB

Just wondering - are lactation rooms a common implementation in sexist western businesses these days? Genuinely had no idea that companies were so backwards as to be forcing women into hiding away in shame to do such a natural, nourishing act for their babies.

Crazy.

11
6

So your client's under-spent on IT for decades and lives in fear of an audit

RichardB

Re: Wait what?

Repeated underspend --> massive overspend

If you've ever worked in a place that has curiously aligned budgeting channels, you would see this often.

The 'project' gets the budget, so they get to define what they get. So off they go to acquire a bunch of servers, database platforms, bi solutions and whatnot. All the smallest they can get away with, and all earmarked for that one project.

Next project comes along, does the same thing. Then of course there's a 3rd project to 'integrate' the first 2. All with their own little boxed off gear.

Repeat for 50 or a 1000 big projects over the course of a few years and you've suddenly got multiple different versions and editions of the same platforms chewing through electricity. All being patched, repaired, maintained, monitored with the associated costs. And all sitting using 7-10% cpu, of which at least 6% is just alerting, antivirus and endpoint monitoring solutions laid over the top.

Maybe you'll find some of them are so old they are out of support, but you cannot upgrade them because the software vendor is out of business or simply don't support anything newer than the last decade. The hardware by now for some of these project servers is probably dual or quad cores, any rational admin would consolidate onto modern hardware and updated gear - but you can't because it's only the _project_ that gets the budget - IT is a cost center after all...

1
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Cloudflare goes berserk on next-gen patent troll, vows to utterly destroy it using prior-art bounties

RichardB

$50k?

They are chucking $50k at this in bounties?

So, taking it seriously then..?

What's $50k these days, 2 hours of legal fees?

5
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Capita's huge role in UK government should go under the spotlight

RichardB

Re: TV Licenses

Nearly as bad as that evil pricing strategy at Burger Joints on the high street, where a rich single man with income to spare pays the same for a burger and fries as a poor single mum with 6 children to feed with on a pittance.

outrage I tell you.

4
1

How would you pronounce 'Cyxtera'?

RichardB

Hum.. What can we run

In a Cyxtera datacenter?

I think we should at least start with PysPark.

But what else should we use?

0
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Oracle doing due diligence on Accenture. Yep, you read that right

RichardB

Still March, right

Someone published early?

1
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Amazing new WikiLeaks CIA bombshell: Agents can install software on Apple Macs, iPhones right in front of them

RichardB

Embedded operatives

Some of that sounds ideal for the more active, undercover type spy...

The cleaner at work, the mistress, the 'turned' wife or business partner, the junior functionary with too many bills to pay and no real career prospect...

3
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KCL external review blames whole IT team for mega-outage, leaves managers unshamed

RichardB

Quite clear who is to blame here:

"Hed of Architecture (IT)" [sic]

To all those saying this report squarely blames IT, I disagree entirely.

Throughout there is a common strand of how 'the users' and 'the business' willfully fail to pay attention to the concerns of IT, a litany of failure to choose to understand basic IT concepts, and chose to form an antagonistic relationship with a 'supplier' of internal IT.

It's all there in black and white, and borne out in the comments here...

3
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How Google Spanner's easing our distributed SQL database woes

RichardB

Probably a deep and ironic pictocomment on the fact that the vast majority of the spanner users are going to be so far away from needing the scale features that they should just be using M$ SQL Express Edition.

But will use this because it is Cloudy and Webscale.

1
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Baby supernova spotted, just three hours old and a real cutie

RichardB

Re: Just like others?

"We need to get lucky a few more times."

Yeah... Reading the Reg... commenting on astrophysics. Good chance we need to get lucky.

1
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Rasputin whips out large intimidating tool, penetrates uni, city, govt databases – new claim

RichardB

Re: Stored Procedures

Yes you can. But then someone may have gone and written a bad proc that allows for 'dynamic' execution... ie creates an executable statement from the inputs.

But then again, if the coders construct their calls to that procedure incorrectly then it makes no difference how well written the procedure is.

Even in places where they go out of their way to hire a DB team to do the 'database coding' the boundaries still typically leave the .net or whatever layer outside the DB team scope, with a bunch of coders who seem to think sql injection means putting data into a database.

3
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Magic Leap sued for sex discrimination … by woman it hired to stamp out sex discrimination

RichardB

What's wrong

with the backs of women's heads?

Also, why do women need a more flexible shaft?

10
4

Stick glue on a drone. Fly it into a flower. World hunger solved, bee-lieve

RichardB

MMMO

I would have thought this would translate into a pretty decent game, good stats options, lots of different game modes, open world sandbox, could be pretty impressive.

0
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Uber is watching your smartphone's battery charge

RichardB

Re: Grabbing battery status could be useful for their customers and drivers

It's actually a little more subtle than that if you have ever experienced it.

Having my phone die suddenly while waiting for Uber to find a cab, after I have requested one, then not knowing until several hours later when the bill arrives that a car had indeed been booked and did arrive looking for me, then I am quite happy with the concept that they should know at least if my battery has reached a point that it is unlikely my end of the deal is viable.

1
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Forget 'shadow IT' – it's 'self-starting IT' now

RichardB

SHadow IT

It's right there, in the name.

Perhaps we could rebrand it Self Harming IT?

11
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Long-distance Asian internet hookups are now faster then ever

RichardB

Last year I ran a speed test on my home adsl in manila. Same website that I usually use from the UK.

Figured it would be a disaster, so pretended it was a no longer very active provider with a not very good name.

Turned out I have one of the fastest connections that it had ever seen.

The wifi is crap on the supplied box, but the fibre broadband is great :)

0
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Kids today are so stupid they fall for security scams more often than greybeards

RichardB

Wonder if they are any better at butchering stats?

"Only 17 per cent of those taking the bait were over 55 years old, but 34 percent of folks aged between 36 and 54 fell for scams."

Is this not a trifle bizarre way of putting the stats..?

I wonder how the young folk these days tend to respond to other scams where the mark is targeted from an unexpected vector of 'authority' - whether the security man in the flash jacket, or the brown shirt part time volunteer pc and their clipboard, or the hiring manager with a 0 hour contract. Do older people behave the same way with these other threats?

11
1

Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

RichardB

cheapskate

Get more disks on more channels...

0
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Snowden WAS the Feds' quarry in Lavabit case, redaction blunder reveals

RichardB

Re: Feral Lieing

Feral Lieing - for a moment I thought you were talking about a Korean news editor

12
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She's coming... the Chief Data Officer

RichardB

Cx0

So, you mention CFO, CEO, CIO and CDO.

Where does the CTO fit into it all?

0
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Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle

RichardB

Re: Yes and No

It only rarely used to, mostly where people were installing pretty daftly specced affairs on a per project funded basis, rather than scaling appropriately.

These days of course, you can't license enterprise by user, so the point is moot.

0
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Converged PC and smartphone is the future, says Canonical's Mark Shuttleworth

RichardB

connectivity

what we need is better magical connectivity.

so I don't need to take my phone out of my pocket, or off the charger, but can turn on the wirefree monitor, keyboard and mouse and easily select my phone as the compute source and then login securely, with a notification to the phone.

Same for the tv. Chrome cast almost achieves this for the tv, but the keyboard/mouse/joypad/stick whatnot is absent still, without faffing with bluetooth.

The bigger question though, is why are phones still so storage limited?

0
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Forget infrasound, now it's ultrasound that's making you ill (allegedly)

RichardB

Inner ears

If anyone out there has suffered even a fairly mild upset in their inner ear, they'll know just how bad your ears can make you feel.

Just because the sound doesn't make the sound detector bit function within operational parameters, it doesn't mean other bits aren't being jiggled around enough to cause some unpleasant feelings.

We already know low frequency sounds can harm or cause transitory effects, we know audible frequencies can cause extreme pain, headaches and so on. What makes anyone imagine that higher frequencies don't? Seems a bit daft to assume that they are harmless.

0
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Brazil gets a WTF WhatsApp moment

RichardB

Re: My concern is...

So in this instance who would be responsible for the keys? The guys sending and receiving the messages?

1
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Blocking out the Sun won't fix climate change – but it could buy us time

RichardB

Spray sea water into the atmosphere?

Genius!

Now... if only there was a cheap and easy way to do that.

We could perform some localised heating of water, even just a few degrees should encourage more evaporation. Oh wait! The whole world is heating up... so... surely more water will evaporate... so more clouds.... so more cooling! Awesome.

Not only that but more clouds means more rain, and it always gets colder when it rains right? Then the rain can evaporate again, thereby cooling the ground or tarmac that it evaporates from.

Ooooh and more rain, more wet ground means more plants, and plants love CO2 so they will be thriving and sucking up CO2...We could feed the world!

Sounds almost like a homeostatic system.

3
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Uncle Sam's IT bods find 2,000 data centers they FORGOT about

RichardB

Keep up...

Skynet has been around since the 60s...

0
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Einstein's brain to be picked by satellites

RichardB

Maybe I've been out of the country too long

But is "ran 140 parts in a million of a second faster" even English?

I mean, sure the words are...

9
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Dad who shot 'snooping vid drone' out of the sky is cleared of charges

RichardB

Counter Drone

How about get your own drone.

Equip it with a meter wide rail underneath, with 5m long lightweight fishing line at 10cm intervals, gently weighted with shot. Fly it over the opposing drone. Record the hilarity that follows. Post to youtube.

2
0

WikiLeaks leaks CIA director's private emails – including his nat sec clearance dossier

RichardB

Honeypot

Looks like a nice way to spread some interesting tidbits that make the CIA boss look

a. Human

b. A Good Guy (tm)

Hopefully the rest of it will serve to reinforce the idea that he is

a. a Moron

b. Evil Incarnate (tm)

Otherwise the internets will just become that little bit more boring.

2
1

Radio wave gun zaps drones out of the sky – and it's perfectly legal*

RichardB

For today... just today.

"For today we're very particular about staying on the right side of the law," said senior researcher Dan Stamm.

That inspires... confidence

3
0

America's top courts may have to prove how truly dull they are by law

RichardB

Oscars

Good enough for Oscar, why not anyone else?

After all, unless its a closed court anyone can just rock up and watch, what really is the difference to having it streamed?

Even better is if the streams are passed into an av indexing service, so you can query for phrases, topics, charges, players etc and watch the relevant cases.

1
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US Treasury: How did ISIS get your trucks? Toyota: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RichardB

Re: USA.gov takes another swing at foregin vehicle maker

"GM, meanwhile has the ignition key case. 124 deaths attributed + a decade-long cover up. Result: $900bn fine"

$900m you mean?

4
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RichardB

Re: Stones and Glass Houses

"For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers."

Prescient...

2
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Pocket mobe butt dialing clogs up 911 emergency calls, says Google

RichardB

Re: Emergency calls not optional

My toddler clocked some time back that daddies phone made cool beeping noises if she touched it here and here just so even when it was locked.

Quite an irritating feature. Wonder how many lives it has saved?

3
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UK gets the Ashley Madison fear: Data privacy moans on the up

RichardB

It will all be too little too late.

Either we will simply come to accept that our data isn't, or we... actually there is no real or.

It's far to late to try and fix it now, the burden on organisations to properly comply and proactively play good guy with data is just too big... Governance of any real sort is being out competed in the workplace by short term goal seeking and corner cutting. With the majority of data users unable to tell the difference between the major sorts of average, or why that might make a big difference to them, there's sod all hope that they will take the time out to properly protect and care for well structured accurate data about their clients.

Cloud wins out by virtue of it handily bypassing IT and Procurement governance. Fuck all chance of data protection giving us some accountability back. Maybe personal prosecutions against people who approve dipshittery; track them down to their new employment or retirement hell hole and take a vicious civil action against them.

Perhaps by pruning the moron tree we can allow some recovery in the rest of the field... but I'm pretty sure it's a dead end task, the MBAs have won.

2
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FBI: We unmasked and collared child porn creep on Tor with spy tool

RichardB

Serious question here...

How is it legal for a government agency to deliberately choose to distribute child pornography?

32
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Happy birthday to you, the ruling was true, no charge for this headline, 'coz the copyright's screwed

RichardB

now... what about those rings...?

All five of them. The gold ones.

1
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The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

RichardB

Learned behaviours

So we spent our childhoods being told we had to finish what was on the plate... now we finish whatever is on the plate.

Solution? Put less on the plate - or stop the ludicrous brainwashing in the first place - stop when you feel you might be nearly full?

On the same track, stop saying this garbage about 'its what's inside that counts', 'do what makes you happy', 'be honest in your dealings' and 'you can't take it with you'... that way we might still have some taxpayers in 30 years time.

3
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Did GCHQ illegally spy on you? Now you can find out – from this page

RichardB
WTF?

The answer is Yes.

Surely by entering your details into a search in their database, you will pretty much defacto enter their database, so the only real option they have is to say, Yes you are in our database.

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