* Posts by RichardB

256 posts • joined 29 Nov 2006


Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers


I was imagining some Russian grey beard professor talking to his young protege...

Black Friday? Yes, tech vendors might be feeling a bit glum looking at numbers for the UK


I'll know better next year

This year I had a curious window of needing some shopping over the last week or 2.

Got a couple of things notionally down in the sale, but have so far been royally screwed on an Amazon Fire tablet for the kid, which plunged by 40 odd quid within a week of purchase.

So... next year I shall know better. Don't buy anything from Amazon in November until I see it in a sale.

Mind you, the chances are good that (as with this year) I shall suffer retail fatigue and just grind to a decision halt on the laptop and put it off for another few months, ready to be screwed again next year.

Facebook floats BOLT to jolt code out of bit bloat


Someone's already got that don't they?

Neo4J - the graph database made famous after the Panama Papers.

Isn't Bolt the Neo4J published network protocol?

One might find it at a mysteriously named website - boltprotocol.org

GNOMEs beat Microsoft: Git Virtual File System to get a new name


GILFS - Git Incremental Lookup File System

Trio indicted after police SWAT prank call leads to cops killing bloke


The real question:

Why does the photo include the Sheriffs department Speedball2 team?

Astroboffins spy the most greedy black hole yet gobbling a Sun a day


Where was the Ed?

"at a rate of 200 million suns over a million years. It has a voracious appetite and gobbles a mass equivalent to twice that of our Sun every two days to sustain itself."

What's wrong with a little simplification?

If 2 x days growth = 2 x Sun.... why not just say a sun a day?

Why stop at 2 days? Why not make it a round 1,000? A hundred suns in a hundred days.

'Housemate from hell' catches 24 new charges after alleged nightmare cyberstalking spree



Notwithstanding the messed up nature of all this - and especially the kp issues at hand; I can't help wondering if the guy had accessed a physical diary and photocopied some photo's, would the charge sheet look similar?

The blockchain era is here but big biz, like most folk, hasn't a clue what to do with it


What I want to know is

... what does the British Computer Society have to say about this egregious appropriation of their TLA?

Apple hands Chinese iCloud to Guizhou-Cloud Big Data Industry


How odd... I came here to quote the exact same phrase, for a different reason.

I guess Editors these days don't work to quite the same standards as they used to.... either that or there's a subtle joke about "data" not being in the right place that's wafted past me.

Brace yourselves for the 'terabyte (sic) of death', warns US army IT boss


slang v gospel

I see that you call him out on his terabyte, but you breeze by his 600 gig.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't addressing his network admins, so it really doesn't matter does it... you knew what he was talking about so the communication was successful; still a nice bit of internet pedantry to take a cheap shot is always worth a wry smile from certain quarters.

Parity's $280m Ethereum wallet freeze was no accident: It was a hack, claims angry upstart


Re: Whilst I have sympathy..

Not exactly what you are looking for but you could take a peek at Yugoslavia over 93/94 and Venezuela 2013 to present...

Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale


I can't help thinking that there's another conclusion here

What they are really concluding is that in order for this universe to be a simulation, it requires a whole new form of computing capability that we are not currently aware of.

In other words the simulation can only be from us in the future, or a terrifyingly more technologically advanced species than ours.

Except of course that if we are a simulation, then us in the future can't create us in the past, unless of course they have taken over the simulation and are themselves running a historic 1st person simulation game, or indeed broken out of the simulation and somehow sequestered a server for their own creative purposes. In which case they wouldn't necessarily be us, but an earlier generation of sim...

Not to mention that if we are a simulation we are not strictly going to be in the same classification system, let alone similarity of species to the programmers and engineers that created us.

What fun.

DataCore tech cranks wheezing SQL Servers to ridiculous speeds


Briefly interested, then I saw the price, the lack of compatibility with real world SQL servers, and realized it was April again already.

Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders


Where have I heard similar before...

Oh yes... we are a(n) {insert laughably inaccurate business model here} company not an IT company... we Integrate we don't Develop...


Let me see you integrate that word document mission statement, after all its just joining a few words together in a tool.

Uncle Sam outlines evidence against British security whiz Hutchins


Does he sound like a baddie?

What's his accent like?

Seems the merkins believe that anyone with certain british accents and a bit of independent thought must be an evil villain...

Photobucket says photo-f**k-it, starts off-site image shakedown


Yes, very much so.

Just look at the manner in which UK Students are drip fed debt as part of the long term plan to ensure 'credit' is seen as both normal and a good thing... it's all interest free to start with, then when you are so far in there's no hope to climb back out, they hit you with the fees and interest for the next 20 years or more.

America throws down gauntlet: Accept extra security checks or don't carry laptops on flights


Vigilance, citizen.

Intel's Skylake and Kaby Lake CPUs have nasty hyper-threading bug


Re: Crap quality

Misread that somewhat... thought you were asking if the Managers are shot at Intel.

Debian devs dedicate new version 9 to the late Ian Murdock


Law is tricky huh?

They can't call the software what it's called because someone owns the trademark on the name, but they can call the other software something that someone else made... oh never mind, I'm sure they know what they are doing.

Connectivity's value is almost erased by the costs it can impose


Re: Internet = ( IsSecure ) ? Valuable : Useless

"if non-trivial use of the internet is to be better than useless, it absolutely HAS to be SECURE. No one seriously believes that online banking will cease to be a thing"

Um... I do. There will come a point at which security simply cannot keep up and it's just game over.

Not long to go now, I reckon.

Capita call centre chap wins landmark sex discrimination lawsuit


Time to pop em out

I guess that if everyone is right about this being likely to affect his career path with this employer, the obvious solution is to embark on the creation of a larger family, maybe look at taking shifts for the next few years - 4 weeks on, 48 weeks off, with 2 for the Mrs?

If he get's his timing right so he is rostered over xmas/new year to take advantage of the public holidays and general feebleness of organisations at that time of year, management might struggle to schedule too much vindictiveness into the small work windows in his schedule.

Rustle up a privacy research project and ICO queen Liz will see you handsomely rewarded


Too late. Far too late.

It's over. There is no going back.

All your data are belong to anyone.

What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate


Just wondering - are lactation rooms a common implementation in sexist western businesses these days? Genuinely had no idea that companies were so backwards as to be forcing women into hiding away in shame to do such a natural, nourishing act for their babies.


So your client's under-spent on IT for decades and lives in fear of an audit


Re: Wait what?

Repeated underspend --> massive overspend

If you've ever worked in a place that has curiously aligned budgeting channels, you would see this often.

The 'project' gets the budget, so they get to define what they get. So off they go to acquire a bunch of servers, database platforms, bi solutions and whatnot. All the smallest they can get away with, and all earmarked for that one project.

Next project comes along, does the same thing. Then of course there's a 3rd project to 'integrate' the first 2. All with their own little boxed off gear.

Repeat for 50 or a 1000 big projects over the course of a few years and you've suddenly got multiple different versions and editions of the same platforms chewing through electricity. All being patched, repaired, maintained, monitored with the associated costs. And all sitting using 7-10% cpu, of which at least 6% is just alerting, antivirus and endpoint monitoring solutions laid over the top.

Maybe you'll find some of them are so old they are out of support, but you cannot upgrade them because the software vendor is out of business or simply don't support anything newer than the last decade. The hardware by now for some of these project servers is probably dual or quad cores, any rational admin would consolidate onto modern hardware and updated gear - but you can't because it's only the _project_ that gets the budget - IT is a cost center after all...

Cloudflare goes berserk on next-gen patent troll, vows to utterly destroy it using prior-art bounties



They are chucking $50k at this in bounties?

So, taking it seriously then..?

What's $50k these days, 2 hours of legal fees?

Capita's huge role in UK government should go under the spotlight


Re: TV Licenses

Nearly as bad as that evil pricing strategy at Burger Joints on the high street, where a rich single man with income to spare pays the same for a burger and fries as a poor single mum with 6 children to feed with on a pittance.

outrage I tell you.

How would you pronounce 'Cyxtera'?


Hum.. What can we run

In a Cyxtera datacenter?

I think we should at least start with PysPark.

But what else should we use?

Oracle doing due diligence on Accenture. Yep, you read that right


Still March, right

Someone published early?

Amazing new WikiLeaks CIA bombshell: Agents can install software on Apple Macs, iPhones right in front of them


Embedded operatives

Some of that sounds ideal for the more active, undercover type spy...

The cleaner at work, the mistress, the 'turned' wife or business partner, the junior functionary with too many bills to pay and no real career prospect...

KCL external review blames whole IT team for mega-outage, leaves managers unshamed


Quite clear who is to blame here:

"Hed of Architecture (IT)" [sic]

To all those saying this report squarely blames IT, I disagree entirely.

Throughout there is a common strand of how 'the users' and 'the business' willfully fail to pay attention to the concerns of IT, a litany of failure to choose to understand basic IT concepts, and chose to form an antagonistic relationship with a 'supplier' of internal IT.

It's all there in black and white, and borne out in the comments here...

How Google Spanner's easing our distributed SQL database woes


Probably a deep and ironic pictocomment on the fact that the vast majority of the spanner users are going to be so far away from needing the scale features that they should just be using M$ SQL Express Edition.

But will use this because it is Cloudy and Webscale.

Baby supernova spotted, just three hours old and a real cutie


Re: Just like others?

"We need to get lucky a few more times."

Yeah... Reading the Reg... commenting on astrophysics. Good chance we need to get lucky.

Rasputin whips out large intimidating tool, penetrates uni, city, govt databases – new claim


Re: Stored Procedures

Yes you can. But then someone may have gone and written a bad proc that allows for 'dynamic' execution... ie creates an executable statement from the inputs.

But then again, if the coders construct their calls to that procedure incorrectly then it makes no difference how well written the procedure is.

Even in places where they go out of their way to hire a DB team to do the 'database coding' the boundaries still typically leave the .net or whatever layer outside the DB team scope, with a bunch of coders who seem to think sql injection means putting data into a database.

Magic Leap sued for sex discrimination … by woman it hired to stamp out sex discrimination


What's wrong

with the backs of women's heads?

Also, why do women need a more flexible shaft?

Stick glue on a drone. Fly it into a flower. World hunger solved, bee-lieve



I would have thought this would translate into a pretty decent game, good stats options, lots of different game modes, open world sandbox, could be pretty impressive.

Uber is watching your smartphone's battery charge


Re: Grabbing battery status could be useful for their customers and drivers

It's actually a little more subtle than that if you have ever experienced it.

Having my phone die suddenly while waiting for Uber to find a cab, after I have requested one, then not knowing until several hours later when the bill arrives that a car had indeed been booked and did arrive looking for me, then I am quite happy with the concept that they should know at least if my battery has reached a point that it is unlikely my end of the deal is viable.

Forget 'shadow IT' – it's 'self-starting IT' now


SHadow IT

It's right there, in the name.

Perhaps we could rebrand it Self Harming IT?

Long-distance Asian internet hookups are now faster then ever


Last year I ran a speed test on my home adsl in manila. Same website that I usually use from the UK.

Figured it would be a disaster, so pretended it was a no longer very active provider with a not very good name.

Turned out I have one of the fastest connections that it had ever seen.

The wifi is crap on the supplied box, but the fibre broadband is great :)

Kids today are so stupid they fall for security scams more often than greybeards


Wonder if they are any better at butchering stats?

"Only 17 per cent of those taking the bait were over 55 years old, but 34 percent of folks aged between 36 and 54 fell for scams."

Is this not a trifle bizarre way of putting the stats..?

I wonder how the young folk these days tend to respond to other scams where the mark is targeted from an unexpected vector of 'authority' - whether the security man in the flash jacket, or the brown shirt part time volunteer pc and their clipboard, or the hiring manager with a 0 hour contract. Do older people behave the same way with these other threats?

Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all



Get more disks on more channels...

Snowden WAS the Feds' quarry in Lavabit case, redaction blunder reveals


Re: Feral Lieing

Feral Lieing - for a moment I thought you were talking about a Korean news editor

She's coming... the Chief Data Officer



So, you mention CFO, CEO, CIO and CDO.

Where does the CTO fit into it all?

Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle


Re: Yes and No

It only rarely used to, mostly where people were installing pretty daftly specced affairs on a per project funded basis, rather than scaling appropriately.

These days of course, you can't license enterprise by user, so the point is moot.

Converged PC and smartphone is the future, says Canonical's Mark Shuttleworth



what we need is better magical connectivity.

so I don't need to take my phone out of my pocket, or off the charger, but can turn on the wirefree monitor, keyboard and mouse and easily select my phone as the compute source and then login securely, with a notification to the phone.

Same for the tv. Chrome cast almost achieves this for the tv, but the keyboard/mouse/joypad/stick whatnot is absent still, without faffing with bluetooth.

The bigger question though, is why are phones still so storage limited?

Forget infrasound, now it's ultrasound that's making you ill (allegedly)


Inner ears

If anyone out there has suffered even a fairly mild upset in their inner ear, they'll know just how bad your ears can make you feel.

Just because the sound doesn't make the sound detector bit function within operational parameters, it doesn't mean other bits aren't being jiggled around enough to cause some unpleasant feelings.

We already know low frequency sounds can harm or cause transitory effects, we know audible frequencies can cause extreme pain, headaches and so on. What makes anyone imagine that higher frequencies don't? Seems a bit daft to assume that they are harmless.

Brazil gets a WTF WhatsApp moment


Re: My concern is...

So in this instance who would be responsible for the keys? The guys sending and receiving the messages?

Blocking out the Sun won't fix climate change – but it could buy us time


Spray sea water into the atmosphere?


Now... if only there was a cheap and easy way to do that.

We could perform some localised heating of water, even just a few degrees should encourage more evaporation. Oh wait! The whole world is heating up... so... surely more water will evaporate... so more clouds.... so more cooling! Awesome.

Not only that but more clouds means more rain, and it always gets colder when it rains right? Then the rain can evaporate again, thereby cooling the ground or tarmac that it evaporates from.

Ooooh and more rain, more wet ground means more plants, and plants love CO2 so they will be thriving and sucking up CO2...We could feed the world!

Sounds almost like a homeostatic system.

Uncle Sam's IT bods find 2,000 data centers they FORGOT about


Keep up...

Skynet has been around since the 60s...

Einstein's brain to be picked by satellites


Maybe I've been out of the country too long

But is "ran 140 parts in a million of a second faster" even English?

I mean, sure the words are...

Dad who shot 'snooping vid drone' out of the sky is cleared of charges


Counter Drone

How about get your own drone.

Equip it with a meter wide rail underneath, with 5m long lightweight fishing line at 10cm intervals, gently weighted with shot. Fly it over the opposing drone. Record the hilarity that follows. Post to youtube.


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