* Posts by Tel Starr

77 posts • joined 21 Nov 2011


RUMPY PUMPY: Bone says humans BONED Neanderthals 50,000 years B.C.

Tel Starr

'dating techniques the Neanderthals had developed to pull a Cro-Magnon...'


Puking! protester! forces! Yahoo! 'techie! scum!' to! ride! vile! bile! barf! bus! to! work!

Tel Starr

Re: Daft thing is ...


Given how much time you say your spending on Goat Simulator I'm surprised you've got time to post here.

James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

Tel Starr

Re: Who the hell cares?

Don't you take the Boffins name in vain.

They are medics, not Boffins, The only knobs they've twiddled are not of the electrical or mechanical variety.

Whatever would Q (man or department) think!

Half-Life 3: CONFIRMED?

Tel Starr

Re: HL3? What's the point?


But Brian uses dice. He's a Roll-Player, not a Role-Player.


No signal in Seascale? Countryside Alliance wants to hook you up

Tel Starr

Given it's location I would have thought Seascale was a 'Hotspot'

Are driverless cars the death knell of the motor biz?

Tel Starr

Re: I love the idea and desperately want one but what about professional drivers

But will these trucks be smart enough to align themselves three abreast on any uphill sections of motorway?

1-in-10 e-tomes 'are self-published'... most are 'rubbish' says book ed

Tel Starr

Re: It strikes me that the need with ebooks

It's just a shame that you can't trust an editor, even one of Sam Schmidt's standing, to arrange proofing of the digital editions of their offerings. Analog in particular believe in a push the button digital conversion that buggers up formatting, as do most other magazine offerings. Not that normal book to ebooks conversions are much better.

So, who ought to be the next Doctor Who? It's up to YOU...

Tel Starr

He can't take it further else he'll get arrested (eventually, after 30 years or so.)

Albert Einstein brings cheese and clean pyjamas to space station

Tel Starr

Re: cheese, yes...

If not they'll have to send Gromit up with some crackers.

<-- icon = master criminal

Who wants a 'robot companion'? Look no further than Intel Labs

Tel Starr


Would you prefer a robot who serves you beer, or one that nags you all the time?

Interview: Steve Jackson, role-playing game titan

Tel Starr
Thumb Up

The Book Tower

A particularly boring children's TV program, except that one time when they had Tom Baker introducing a strange book that had you fighting creatures...

There were at least 3 'Warlocks' in action in the school by the end of that week, with none available in the local Book Shops but plenty on order.

EU boffins in plan for 'more nutritious' horsemeat ice cream

Tel Starr

Re: mmmmmmmmm..........

And 'RedRum and Raisins'

Master Beats: Why doesn't audio quality matter these days?

Tel Starr

Re: Tin ears

Why would you want to hear McCartney let off a wet one mid way thru Hey Jude?

Music is to be enjoyed. So long as you are enjoying it how you actually listen to it is meaningless.

Bogus gov online test tells people on dole they're just SO employable

Tel Starr

Re: Plenty of jobs

Actually that sounds about right for an El Reg reporter.

Apple alert as half China's fanbois consider switch to Galaxy S4

Tel Starr

He'll be in big trouble if he does.

Wales slams Amazon over lack of Kindle support

Tel Starr

Re: The welsh lobby

@badvok 'It is hard for some to realise that programming that appears to focus on the London area is actually relevant to upwards of 15% of the population of the entire UK.'

And of no relevance to the remaining 85% of the population - but it's still forced fed to us on National TV and Radio.

Vinyl sales reach 15 year high, Blighty becomes No. 3 music buyer

Tel Starr

Re: Vinyl

Partially it's because the 'indestructable' CDs are vulnerable to the chemicals in paper. There was a spate of CD singles in the late 80's - early 90's that were released in cardboard slip cases, but the discs ended up coroded and pitted within months.

Review: Renault Zoe electric car

Tel Starr

Except he wont hear her sneaking off in the car, he will hear a spaceship launching.

Does the horn sound like Hollywood Lasers firing?

Tel Starr

Re: The thing that amazes me about electric cars...

'I'm a clean air campaigner. I work in the City and breathe the pollution in central London, it's horrible.'

And by working in the 'City' you contribute to the pollution, so that buggers your clean air credentials.

Can anyone give a decent rational as to why the 'City' exists in this day and age? Is there any job or function within it that can't be done elsewhere?

Tel Starr

Re: At last, an affordable, practical, decent looking e-car. WOOT

That's because the 404 is a Peugeot, not a Renault.

Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

Tel Starr

Re: SF is not just about "big ideas", it only looks that way...

Given that by the time they reach the place, that mining ship owner is living in a totalitarian dictatorship, one lead by people who space anyone who dare offer dissent, then I think I might go along with the Adama cultural revolution as well.

(Plus on the planet there is always the hope of running into the more intelligent and technologically advanced Golgafrinchans.)

Google reveals Glass details in patent application

Tel Starr

Re: I wear glasses already

Surprised they didn't patent having an handle on the front to assist when taking them on and off.

Python-lovers sling 'death threats' at UK ISP in trademark row

Tel Starr

But they didn't kick it off did they?

They applied for a non-software, but IT related, trademark for a word\name that they had been trading under for 16 years (without objection). Then they get ambushed by an hysterical statement from a monolithic organisation who have made little effort to secure their own rights to the mark in the past (despite being lead by an IP lawyer!)

But the PSF will get a free pass as they not Apple, Google, Microsoft or Games Workshop.

Spots the Space Marine, may I introduce you to Python the Server.

Pope resigns months after launching social networking effort

Tel Starr

Re: The Church is definitely not a business.

Papal Knight or Paypal Knight?

British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Tel Starr

Re: I'll probably get flamed for this but ...

I can find a couple of flaws in the above...

1) It's an English term, the Nazi's were actually quite keen on people using German so probably never registered it as such.

2) 'A long time ago...' so precidence for it's use already set prior to the Chaplin lookalike. (Plus it came into common usage late in WW1 not WW2)

Damn, I've used the word Nazi ,which LucasFilm did try and claim a trademark for (and not TSR as some people believe.)



Wanna really insult someone? Log off and yell it in the street - gov

Tel Starr

Re: the tin foil hat wearer in me is deeply troubled

@Mike Brown: Think of the negatives as the truth of revolutionaries get revealed. The revolutionaries you write about were openly contemptuous of the masses who put their necks on the line, and always had a fast horse\car available in case things turned sour.

Try using the old tactic of shouting out buzzwords and slogans to rouse the (ignorant no more) masses, while your enforcers stamp down on any dissenting voices. It just wont work nowadays; the people formally on the podium are now just faces in the crowd. In this new world everyone has access to the facts (and not just those supplied by the opposing factions) and a voice of their own.

Twitter's Tweetdeck must 'file accounts or be struck off'

Tel Starr


True - but thats not a fault of Companies House but of HMRC, who moves so slowly they make glaciers look like Usain Bolt.

Plus CH can't look into Directors unless somebody complains about them and initiates proceeding, which normally should be creditors of the company i.e. HMRC.

The problem is that they, along with their over expensive computer systems, are not fit for purpose.

Polaroid plans retail Fotobars to print out your pics

Tel Starr

Re: In 2010 the company appointed Lady Gaga as its creative director

You've never heard of printing photos on bacon and other meat products?

Yes, hundreds upon hundreds of websites CAN all be wrong

Tel Starr

All this presumes...

That the bands involved were going with the written\published lyrics and not forgetting them and\or making their own variants up in the studio (or just having fun and doing some leg pulling)

Hero Playmonaut lost at sea as SPEARS ditches in Channel

Tel Starr


Not convinced that we've lost our original hero. I think there's some doppelganging at work.

I always thought there was something a bit dodgy about 'Mr Yellow'. Would our stylish all-action hero really wear something so gaudy? Did you check him for a goatee before sending him up?

How else can you explain things going so disastrously wrong if not an inside job?

I'm betting the saboteur is having a chuckle at us from his undersea volcanic lair, off the Isle of Wight, where our heroic space cadet is being held captive after imbibing a laced cocktail.

Kobo Glo illuminated e-reader review

Tel Starr

Extra Features

I like the way it changes the case cover to cream when you put the light on. That could be a big selling point.

Dishonored game review

Tel Starr
Black Helicopters

Re: What happened to Steve Jackson?

That should be 'publisher of...'.

The Discordian Society is obviously trying to make me look bad.

Tel Starr

Re: What happened to Steve Jackson?

Wrong Steve Jackson - your getting confused with the American one, publisher or Illuminati and Munchkin, and beneficiary of a nice 'donation' from the Feds.

The British one was a founder of Games Workshop and moved onto computer games.

Archaeologists resume Antikythera Mechanism hunt

Tel Starr

Re: There aren't any

Been at least a couples of programs on BBC about it. One is an Horizon type of program with loads of wizzy graphics and jumping all over the place, the other is more of an investigative program where you actually get the persons involved explain their line of thoughts and mistakes - just like Horizon use to be like.

Deep, deep dive inside Intel's next-generation processor

Tel Starr

Re: frogsaustralia.net.au? really?

It's Australia. Thats site probably counts as an H&S one, along with tinydeadlyspiders.net.au and dropbears.net.au

Freeview kit to require retune tomorrow

Tel Starr
Paris Hilton

'Fairer sex was also in the 95ish range'

I prefer them quite a bit younger

Organic food offers basically no health benefit, boffins find

Tel Starr

'we don't have enough food to feed the world's 6 billion now.'

Yes we do, we just have a distribution\politician problem.

Has there been any recent famine where politics have not been a prime cause or a block in resolving it?

Tel Starr

Re: Shock horror!!

Home grown tommies taste delicious because the average home gardener uses 3 times the level of fertiliser than farmed foods. Farmers are very precise in the amount of fertiliser they use (normally following Defra defined ratios) unlike home growers with their bags of growmore, tomorite, human urine, horse manure liquer, etc.

Outlook.com launch a gold rush for jokers, spammers

Tel Starr

Re: Own name on address

So you never get any mail then?

That's certainly one way of stopping spammers.

US flags from the 1970s SEEN ON MOON

Tel Starr

Re: Flags

The Indians need to turn the lights back on first.

(Guess 8% of the worlds population losing its power supply is not a big enough story for the Reg)

Why British TV drama is crap – and why this matters to tech firms

Tel Starr

Re: Hawking for Sky are we?

Actually 'raw' OXO cubes used to be lovely before they changed the formula a decade or two back. They use to become nice and goo-y in the mouth, now its just seems to be powdered rat shit.

Compare the Market loses .XXX smut-squat appeal

Tel Starr


Now that would be a site i'd avoid.

Humanity increasingly sitting on collective arse

Tel Starr

Adolescent sloth...

...data is spotty.

I see what they did there!

Native Americans arrived to find natives already there, fossil poo shows

Tel Starr

When I see the word Clovis mentioned, I start humming the New World Symphony and want to push a bike up a hill.

Tablets, copycats and Weird Al Yankovic

Tel Starr

'but if I named the principal character ‘Patty Horror’ and the school ‘Bogfarts’, JK - Rowling, not the guy from Jamiroquai - would sue my arse off'

And she'd lose as you safe under parody laws.

'...and I’d deserve it.'

yes, you deserve it, but she'd still lose.

'Extreme' solar storm speeding straight towards Earth

Tel Starr

Re: Radiashun \o/


Wearing just a pair of 50" rim solar flares, Pantsman seeks to eradicate the world of skinnie jeans, trackies, and muffin tops!

California clears way for Steve Jobs' 'private Apple spaceship'

Tel Starr

Just to allow the iPhone sanitisers a route to safety?

Completely B.arking!

Judge: Twitter offers free speech, American style

Tel Starr

Re: I don't Tweet, but... why is Twitter *keeping* a history?

Probably because if they didn't comply with the various data retention acts, and the requirement to hold onto any none transient data associated with a person, their whole operation would be shut down.

This deleted data will\must still exist on backups, which could be the actual source of these recovered tweets, and possibly not from the active system itself.

'Young people don't want to become like us', say IT pros

Tel Starr

Is polling...

a bunch of middle age keyboard warriors on their opinion on 'yoof' going to give an accurate profile?

Why didn't they ask the incoming generation directly?

'Jogobot' lures lonely lardies

Tel Starr


Didn't know you worked in an hall of mirrors.


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