"Let's see it pick up several mugs, suspending each on a different finger, so you can carry them all to the kitchen sink."
That's only half the job, let me know when it's ready to acually wash the dishes.
2230 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
Not because a website collected my information without any trouble at all, I'm stunned that a goverment website collected my information without any trouble at all.
I'm quietly expecting to get an email later on that their details have been hacked, and we should expect everyone's data to be available cheaply soon.
Some years back a photocopier tech, we'll call him John (*) had a technique to diagnose squeeks by dribbling isopropyl into the bearing and see if it stopped. The idea being he would know which bearing was squeeky so it can be dismantled, cleaned and re-lubed without doing the entire machine.
Let's just say, that wasn't what actually happened.
He had used so much alcohol, that it dribbled down the machine, along a floor pan and then dribbled onto the main power supply. After the fireies had put the fire out, all that was left salvagable was the copier glass.
I never did find out if he managed to keep his job.
(*) Never mind the fact that my name is Johh, and a fellow employee who told me about it was also named Johh, but neither of us were that John. No, really.
"Check out the security theatre for the games including airport style full body scanners"
The scanners have probably been re-tuned to see the most important games contraban articles of all time: Fecking bottles of water.
Because the worst thing in the world you could do is deprive the sales outlets (inside the games walls) from their well deserved marked up profits.
"Belfiore wrote that "if a customer does want to switch out of S mode, they will be able to do so at no charge, regardless of edition."
So, in other words, you can have a knobbled and restricted version of windows called S Mode, for the same cost as the regular more flexible standard issue Windows 10?
"Wrong. It means that no party will try it again."
Oh, but they will. We had the AT5000 Autodialer (see The Simpsons) call us courtesy of one of our political shysters. You have NO recourse, it just dials out automatically, all numbers in sequence. Even the bullshit "LIFE HACK: The 11 magical words that will get a telemarketer off the phone" can't possibly make a diffrence because they don't ever listen to your screaming.
"A doorstep chugger had the door shut in their face when they wouldn't take no for an answer. He then kept ringing the bell and shouting abuse through the letterbox for several minutes."
Following some choice abuse, I had one scammer call be back 3 times saying "you can't say that to me!"
Turns out I could.
"If you wear a big coat you can smuggle in enough food to start a franchise."
Here in Australia, one of the cinema chains tried banning foods that did not come from their own shop.
Mind you, they canned that idea when they realised almost all of their half dozen patrons either stopped turning up, or just continued to not buy their "food" anyway..
"If you're good enough to set that up, you won't be sacked."
Clearly, you've never worked for some of the empoyers I have.
That is, during a takeover, they sacked the sysadmin along with some others.
It was a bit of a "don't come monday" thing.
Management forgot he had all the passwords, and the keys to the computer room with him. Oops.
"No matter how ill-advised such revenge might be it's only common sense for management to try to part on good terms, just in case."
Agreed. I've said this before, and I'll say it yet again:
Never piss off your customers, they might not come back. More so, never piss off your employees, not only will they not come back, they'll leave a trail of destruction on their way out.
"An ice hockey fan and one-time country club waiter, ..."
"I can understand why this is interesting, important and relevant. Wait .... no, I can't."
It is important, because without those two things, the only other two things to his name, would be a malware author, and, well, how can I put this nicely, stupid.
"Instead, some young man's life is going to be scribbled on, hard, by the crims in the penitentiary. Sad."
You'd be singing a different tune if you were one of the many who were scammed. In fact, I'm guessing you'd be screaming blue bloody murder instead of being concerned about his being scribbled on.
"No, the smoking ban was entirely driven by the desire by anti-smoking campaigners to have a tobacco free environment on flights."
Yeah, I'd like screaming babies banned from flights too, but fat chance that's going to happen.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're offended because you have your own sprog? Too bad, I'm offended because my right to not be audibly molested applies too.
"I'm not sure you'd get past the x-ray machines if your hand luggage included a small circuit board with wires attached to a small solid looking object such as a battery."
You never know. I came from the US into Australia, with an 16bit ISA card, along with cables, and they didn't bat an eyelid.
Yet, I've had friends bring in hard-to-get spark plugs, and power transformers, and nearly had the feds called in.
Do not underestimate stupid. If you think you need enough brain cells to sucessfully breath air, look at some of the TSA agents or whoever has been empowered to decide if you're a terrorist, or a bratty kid. I doubt they can tell the difference.
"Yes, but if the crew looked the other way and it got out, or something happened it would be a disaster for them, the airline and the passengers."
No, and bullshit.
If I farted in the cabin, I shit you not, you'd be calling the EPA. Yet, it also would be entirely legal.
Let's not let one fucking measly phone that, realistically, hardly ever fails, result in stupid responses like this.
"Also test against the bugs previous changes are supposed to have fixed. Just in case you reverted some of the previous fixes."
Like the type of checking that needs to happen with VLC Media Player?
And if you have the audacity to complain about features that are broken, or new features that aren't there (but still appear in the menu), they'll tell you to fuck off and write your own code to fix it.
"Education, though? No. In 35 years in the industry, I have *never* had a good experience with a client in the education business."
Not in my experience. If the users were "local", then yes, they know everything about everything.
But our remote user were different. Their calls would start with "I have no idea what I'm doing, so just talk slow and I'll follow you". And they did, they'd even learn from our previous calls and do the job themselves.
"A number of jurisdictions have laws against wearing masks for the purposes of evading identification."
Visit any optometrist in town here who on-sells "name brand designer frames", and you'll see some of their designs are not that far off.
But don't worry, if you visit the post office next door to get passport photos done, they will demand you remove your glasses before they take photos.
It seems that even what's considered ordinary glasses are enough to fool those systems.
"The Redmond giant says that, by delivering only the changes needed for that specific system and OS build, it can reduce the size of most updates by roughly 35 per cent over the old approach of kicking out full-fat updates."
Unlike the 3 Gig abortion they call Windows 10 that you need to get where you are now.
We haven't forgotten yet.
It's all gone to the dogs.
I once met a guy who flatly refused to eat or be around soy products.
At first I though he was alergic to the stuff, but no, and I shit you not, his objection was that soy was being planted in fields that could be used for more "worthy" (In his opinion) products.
There should be laws against that.
I get the old school voice phone call spammers with "yes I am interested, tell me all about it". At which point I put the phone down and go back to whatever I was doing. They'll go for a good couple of minutes before realising I wasn't paying attention any more.
Seems it's true that everyone likes the sound of their own voice, especially spammers. It seems they barely even take a breath...
"And what if the only point of contact you have with someone important (like a member of your family) is through Farcebook because they don't have e-mail or a reliable telephone?"
Then I tell them, if they want to get in touch with me, they can either by 7 different email addresses, or, three regular phone numbers, or, two SIP voip addresses, or, two Skype addresses, or they can leave me alone - there is only so far I'll go, and Facebook is NOT anywhere I'm going.
Deal with it.
"Now if I open amazon @work I can see penises!!"
Way back in the MySpace days, a friend of mine said a MySpace friend bought a dildo.
Soon afterwards _all_ her friends received a message saying "so-and-so just bought a dildo, would you like to buy one too?"
Very classy. And it appears no-one has learned anything since then either. Idiots.
"I still have the original platter which I retrieved from the rubbish bin. The head crash had gone through the oxide right down to the base metal"
I've seen one that went through the magnetic layer, and all the way though the aluminium base in a section (Yep, you could see right through). Somehow, it was still balanced enough to be spinning.
What stumped us, was not that the drive failed in this manner, but that it was in this failed state for long enough to gouge the platter without anyone noticing.
Just saying... A community service announcement you see.
I take handfulls of toxic drugs today, they claim it's for other stuff, but the last remaining bit of my brain remembers they're mostly to keep me sane. The rest are just for fun, except they're not fun.
DO NOT EVER WORK ON PRINTERS. EVER.
"POKEMON GO TRAINERS SHOULD LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR DIGITAL CRITTERS"
Fine for playing while you're driving then? Spent several hours on the road with my sister who played it just about non-stop. Though she did say certain pokemon functions can't be done while driving. She has morals you see.
Now, excuse me while I wipe my arse with the paper the laws were were written on.
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