Holding guitar wrong.
2222 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
"A doorstep chugger had the door shut in their face when they wouldn't take no for an answer. He then kept ringing the bell and shouting abuse through the letterbox for several minutes."
Following some choice abuse, I had one scammer call be back 3 times saying "you can't say that to me!"
Turns out I could.
"If you wear a big coat you can smuggle in enough food to start a franchise."
Here in Australia, one of the cinema chains tried banning foods that did not come from their own shop.
Mind you, they canned that idea when they realised almost all of their half dozen patrons either stopped turning up, or just continued to not buy their "food" anyway..
Like the power consumption stickers you get on appliances like fridges and such, and worse still, the fuel economy figures you get on new cars.
I can already smell it from here.
"If you're good enough to set that up, you won't be sacked."
Clearly, you've never worked for some of the empoyers I have.
That is, during a takeover, they sacked the sysadmin along with some others.
It was a bit of a "don't come monday" thing.
Management forgot he had all the passwords, and the keys to the computer room with him. Oops.
"No matter how ill-advised such revenge might be it's only common sense for management to try to part on good terms, just in case."
Agreed. I've said this before, and I'll say it yet again:
Never piss off your customers, they might not come back. More so, never piss off your employees, not only will they not come back, they'll leave a trail of destruction on their way out.
"Why is it bad for this guy to sell a keylogger when M$ has one built in and running on Windows 10 and compromised W7 and W8 machines?"
Microsoft has thousands of lawyers to make what they do look legal. You don't think their terms and conditions write themselves do you?
"An ice hockey fan and one-time country club waiter, ..."
"I can understand why this is interesting, important and relevant. Wait .... no, I can't."
It is important, because without those two things, the only other two things to his name, would be a malware author, and, well, how can I put this nicely, stupid.
"Instead, some young man's life is going to be scribbled on, hard, by the crims in the penitentiary. Sad."
You'd be singing a different tune if you were one of the many who were scammed. In fact, I'm guessing you'd be screaming blue bloody murder instead of being concerned about his being scribbled on.
Oh, never mind, I'm sure they'll mark up their "installation fees" to make up for losses.
"The rule calls for a ban on any use of an electronic device to record or broadcast the proceedings"
So, yeh olde school wax cylinder recordings are ok then?
I mean, it'll suit the polititians who live in the dark ages right?
"No, the smoking ban was entirely driven by the desire by anti-smoking campaigners to have a tobacco free environment on flights."
Yeah, I'd like screaming babies banned from flights too, but fat chance that's going to happen.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're offended because you have your own sprog? Too bad, I'm offended because my right to not be audibly molested applies too.
"I'm not sure you'd get past the x-ray machines if your hand luggage included a small circuit board with wires attached to a small solid looking object such as a battery."
You never know. I came from the US into Australia, with an 16bit ISA card, along with cables, and they didn't bat an eyelid.
Yet, I've had friends bring in hard-to-get spark plugs, and power transformers, and nearly had the feds called in.
Do not underestimate stupid. If you think you need enough brain cells to sucessfully breath air, look at some of the TSA agents or whoever has been empowered to decide if you're a terrorist, or a bratty kid. I doubt they can tell the difference.
"Yes, but if the crew looked the other way and it got out, or something happened it would be a disaster for them, the airline and the passengers."
No, and bullshit.
If I farted in the cabin, I shit you not, you'd be calling the EPA. Yet, it also would be entirely legal.
Let's not let one fucking measly phone that, realistically, hardly ever fails, result in stupid responses like this.
"Also test against the bugs previous changes are supposed to have fixed. Just in case you reverted some of the previous fixes."
Like the type of checking that needs to happen with VLC Media Player?
And if you have the audacity to complain about features that are broken, or new features that aren't there (but still appear in the menu), they'll tell you to fuck off and write your own code to fix it.
"Education, though? No. In 35 years in the industry, I have *never* had a good experience with a client in the education business."
Not in my experience. If the users were "local", then yes, they know everything about everything.
But our remote user were different. Their calls would start with "I have no idea what I'm doing, so just talk slow and I'll follow you". And they did, they'd even learn from our previous calls and do the job themselves.
"It's practically a scam."
I was going to say its first use would be DRM, but you effectively beat me to the punch...
"A number of jurisdictions have laws against wearing masks for the purposes of evading identification."
Visit any optometrist in town here who on-sells "name brand designer frames", and you'll see some of their designs are not that far off.
But don't worry, if you visit the post office next door to get passport photos done, they will demand you remove your glasses before they take photos.
It seems that even what's considered ordinary glasses are enough to fool those systems.
"Does not seem to get a mention in the report. I wonder why?"
Probably because they only account for ~10% of the market? You think that might have anything to do with it?
"The Redmond giant says that, by delivering only the changes needed for that specific system and OS build, it can reduce the size of most updates by roughly 35 per cent over the old approach of kicking out full-fat updates."
Unlike the 3 Gig abortion they call Windows 10 that you need to get where you are now.
We haven't forgotten yet.
THIS is the reason we say "photos or it didn't happen".
It's all gone to the dogs.
I once met a guy who flatly refused to eat or be around soy products.
At first I though he was alergic to the stuff, but no, and I shit you not, his objection was that soy was being planted in fields that could be used for more "worthy" (In his opinion) products.
There should be laws against that.
"So we have at least two foreign powers having access to the data submitted online."
Hey, IBM, you picked them. Sounds like something Dr Phil would say...
"I'm guessing that this month it'll be a couple of days."
And shortly after that, your next scheduled payment will have to be made before the delays continue.
I get the old school voice phone call spammers with "yes I am interested, tell me all about it". At which point I put the phone down and go back to whatever I was doing. They'll go for a good couple of minutes before realising I wasn't paying attention any more.
Seems it's true that everyone likes the sound of their own voice, especially spammers. It seems they barely even take a breath...
"If they dropped their speeds in June how come they advertise, and I recently signed up for 76Mb/s broadband with 19Mb/s upload?"
The "engineer" responsible for updating the web page was at the pub.
"The problem is that if you won't do it, someone else will."
So you're saying you would rather prostitute yourself, rather than some else who's willing?
Somewhere along the line, you have to say "it just ain't worth it".
"Not after 20 years with First Direct. I can tell them any "nth" character without thinking."
So you haven't changed your passphrase for 20 years?
Good to know.
"And what if the only point of contact you have with someone important (like a member of your family) is through Farcebook because they don't have e-mail or a reliable telephone?"
Then I tell them, if they want to get in touch with me, they can either by 7 different email addresses, or, three regular phone numbers, or, two SIP voip addresses, or, two Skype addresses, or they can leave me alone - there is only so far I'll go, and Facebook is NOT anywhere I'm going.
Deal with it.
"Now if I open amazon @work I can see penises!!"
Way back in the MySpace days, a friend of mine said a MySpace friend bought a dildo.
Soon afterwards _all_ her friends received a message saying "so-and-so just bought a dildo, would you like to buy one too?"
Very classy. And it appears no-one has learned anything since then either. Idiots.
No one ever got sacked for choosing IBM.
Not till now anyway...
"I left the form as instructed and when I came home it was still there so I took it back inside. It still hasn't been collected."
Same here, and what we've heard from the neighbours, same for them too.
I'm guessing there are going to be lots of Mr and Ms Smiths, Citizens and Mohameds then.
And of course, there are going to be a heap of "we have nothing to hide, so we'll hide nothing" idiots.
Let's see how that works out for them.
The only difference between white hat and black hat hackers are ethics.
And the Chinese Government knows all about ethics now, don't they?
"I still have the original platter which I retrieved from the rubbish bin. The head crash had gone through the oxide right down to the base metal"
I've seen one that went through the magnetic layer, and all the way though the aluminium base in a section (Yep, you could see right through). Somehow, it was still balanced enough to be spinning.
What stumped us, was not that the drive failed in this manner, but that it was in this failed state for long enough to gouge the platter without anyone noticing.
"Less than 15 per cent of the desert kingdom's inhabitants are locals, with the rest of the population made up of expatriates"
The place is so fucked up, that not even the locals want to live there.
"It's clear from the preliminary report that if the trailer had been equipped with side Mansfield bars the driver would almost certainly still be alive today."
It would also be clear that he'd be alive today if he were actually looking at the fucking road.
"Consumers need accurate information about broadband speed and performance"
Wouldn't that contrast with the ISPs wanting to attract business?
Truth in advertising would pretty much kill their sales wouldn't it?
Just saying... A community service announcement you see.
I take handfulls of toxic drugs today, they claim it's for other stuff, but the last remaining bit of my brain remembers they're mostly to keep me sane. The rest are just for fun, except they're not fun.
DO NOT EVER WORK ON PRINTERS. EVER.
"Unfortunately there are plenty of politicians who will jump on his bandwagon solely in order to get a few sound bites and some air time."
I doubt they're smart enough to realise.
"POKEMON GO TRAINERS SHOULD LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR DIGITAL CRITTERS"
Fine for playing while you're driving then? Spent several hours on the road with my sister who played it just about non-stop. Though she did say certain pokemon functions can't be done while driving. She has morals you see.
Now, excuse me while I wipe my arse with the paper the laws were were written on.
"I took a chisel to my card and cut the antenna - result: no contactless."
Kinda like taking the water out of your pool to prevent any drownings.
It's a bit drastic, and there are better ways of doing it.
"Never piss off your customers, they might not come back. More so, never piss off your employees, not only will they not come back, they'll leave a trail of destruction on their way out."
An employer is an employer, any single employee isn't going to care about semantics of who is who.
Or in this case, 1,385 employees.
"If I am paying for a certain amount I should be entitled to continue paying for that amount at the "contracted" rate."
And as the saying goes: "Good luck with that".
"50GB for free (or until they change their mind)"
Great, and it's never failed before either.
"Repeated, tragic data loss convinces family members to take periodic backups."
Sadly, for some of my relatives, even THAT won't convince them.
Stop paying employees.
Will the cavity searches continue as per normal?
It's making the NBN look like it's been caught with its pants down.
"How does one sniff out porn exactly ?"
Look for the fishy smell.
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017