* Posts by Captain DaFt

3253 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

The rise, fall, and rise (again) of Microsoft's killer People feature

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Talking to people at the computer

"Keep this crap out of the OS and keep it in Skype or whatever so that it will turn off when I tell it to. </rant>"

Hear hear! Send me a message on IRC* if you want to communicate.

Text keeps communication (relatively) succinct and to the point, unlike voice, where once someone starts talking, they forget how to stop!

* Yes, I'm that guy.

3
0

General Electrics plays down industrial control plant vulnerabilities

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: not on the LAN, no need to worry

And don't forget: "she said, adding that there had been no signs of exploitation."

Were they looking for any?

Ranks right up there with, "I've never used anti-virus and never had an infection."

1
0

Welcome to the Wipe House: President Trump shreds climate change, privacy, LGBT policies on WhiteHouse.gov

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: The *people*

"Trump won the electoral college, Hillary won the popular vote. So who has been disenfranchised?"

In America, the popular vote in a presidential election has always amounted to bupkis. The EC vote is the deciding vote, always has been.

And you're only complaining now?

11
3

Korean boffins vow 1,000km-an-hour supertrain

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Sigh

(how much of a vac does it need?)

Well, a couple of centuries back (1870s), a demonstator was built proving that as long as the air pressure was lower in the front than the back, no other propulsion needed. so not much vacuum.

2
0

College fires IT admin, loses access to Google email, successfully sues IT admin for $250,000

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: And using Google is a good thing?

Which pinhead? The fired admin or his boss?

8
5

Smart bombs, smart bullets – now guided smart artillery shells, thanks to DARPA dosh

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: The USA way of doing things

"A case to point: NASA spent millions of dollars developing a pen American astronauts could use in micro-gravity conditions"

Nope. They both used grease pencils.

The Fisher Pen Co. developed a pen that would write in any position, on their own, no funding, and NASA started using those after they tested out OK for zero gravity use.

4
0

Phoney McPhoneface: The thrilling tale of ZTE's crowdsourced mobe

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Didn't see it that way, but now it's the only way I see it.

Gee, thanks.

1
0

BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: A Typical Scam Call I Get

"Amongst my canned Spam call answers."

"How'd you get this number? Who really gave it to you?"

<hold phone at arms length and shout>

"Hey Mike, put a trace on this call!"

Connection seems to die then, for some reason.

6
0

S Korea prosecutors seek arrest warrant for Samsung heir apparent

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Really??

"How did these Korean crooks not get away with it?"

Because the Korean Corps forgot the step of making their paid for representatives pass laws making 'contributions' and 'fact finding funding' legal?

4
0

Nadella calls for AI sector to move beyond 'worshipping' a handful of companies

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"Nadella calls for AI sector to move beyond 'worshipping' a handful of companies"

"Hey guys! WE can do it too, honest! So quit following the industry leaders and follow us! We'll have something almost working any day now, scout's honor!"

When did Nadella suffer a blow to the head and started thinking he was Ballmer?

8
1

Microsoft swallows up AI language biz Maluuba

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Cynicism... rising

'literate machines that can think, reason and communicate like humans'

After perusing the news while in a bad mood, I've come to the conclusion that that is AS*, not AI.

Computers are built on logic and concise communication , let'em use it.

*Artificial Stupidity

5
1

Europe mulls treating robots legally as people ... but with kill switches

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

-Will they be retrofitted to humans ? "I have a little list ..."-

No need. Humans will be obsolete.

Two species, Homo Bureaucracitis and Homo Corporatis will rule a world populated by AI drones that happily know their place and love it, or <BZZZT!>

1
0

Drone company fails to take off, tells pre-orderers: You can have your $34m back

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"First smart watches, now drones. Is 2017 the year tech dies?"

Hopefully, it's the year useless 'cyber' <spit> tat dies.

0
0

Outage-hit Lloyds Bank in talks to outsource data centres to IBM

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"What's to stop IBM getting a banking license and then offering to buy the Lloyds brand at a knock-down price?"

They're already a finance company! There's nothing to stop them.

(Look a trifle risky, putting your bank under a competing company's control, don't it?)

6
0

Oh ALIS, don't keep us waiting: F-35 jet's software 'delayed'

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: " whoever finds it can probably look back and KNOW where the aircraft has been"

"Any notion that dullards future insurgents could get into the system, let alone ready that data is quite absurd.

Honest."

admin/password can't be that difficult to figure out.

3
0

For Fark's sake! Fark fury follows 5-week ad ban for 5-year-old story

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Welcome to the New World

"Try calling <snip> just about any "service" these days."

No thanks, it always seems to go like this:

"Thank you for calling Megacorp,your call is important to us. Please press the appropriate number for the service you wish to use:"(switches to different voice)

"plerk berk srng dorf klep"

"Singe nerf terk twang blerk"

"Smerk nerb burble cleff nor"

"Perkle twik smok torb blin"

"Aper nerk tohn jurblly mergle plot"

"...."

(switches back to original voice after pause)

"You have not selected any number listed. We will now hang up."

"Fuck you for calling Megacorp."

I've had this exact same experience calling several different company's help lines.

I'm sure it's deliberate.

1
0

US Navy runs into snags with aircraft carrier's electric plane-slingshot

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: We all need less stress...

"I'm curious why there is apparently less control for a linear motor than a steam piston."

Curiously, the steam valve that was fitted to the electric catapult (as per military regulations regarding carrier catapults) had no effect controlling the motor's performance. ☺

0
0

Microsoft's Blue Screen of Death dead in latest Windows 10 preview

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Energy to the customer?

"Finally, how many man hours of effort, meetings and yet more meetings did it take to change the BDOD screen into the GSOD? Don't the people in redmond realise that they are doing the MS equivalent of 'fiddling while Rome burns'?"

Looks like MS has actually abandoned its attempts to emulate Google.

Now they're emulating Yahoo! instead!

1
0

How Rogue One's Imperial stormtroopers SAVED Star Wars and restored order

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: stormtroopers being fodder

"Because teddy bears are so CUUUUTE!"

About those "teddy bears". To quote Kkatman:

"A mechanically intuitive species and fascinated with technology. How many 'primitives' do you know that can engineer a war glider? That can carry boulders? Or figure out a speeder bike in five seconds flat?... Or did you think we worshipped the mechanical man with the glowing eyes because he was shiny?"

In Kkatman's fan fic, Endor was destroyed by the exploding Death Star, and covered up by rebel propaganda.

The only surviving Ewoks were the ones in the Imperial shield generator bunker, and abandoned by their rebel "friends".

They survived the Hell their world became because:

A.They were tech savvy and used the Death star Wreckage, and

B. Their shaman used his new training to protect them.

New training? "The biggest, most badass Sith was betrayed and murdered within sight of my home.

Ask yourself: Do you think only the good ones can pull off that glowey-ghost mentor trick?"

0
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: on that (lack of) accuracy claim:

"Only Imperial Stormtroopers are that precise"

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a snarky bastard. ☺

4
0

That's the way the Cook, he stumbles: Apple CEO pay cut as sales tank

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Anyone remember the play book?

When Jobs died, it was much ballyhooed that his vision would go on because he'd written down a plan for Apple's future.

It was never mentioned again after the ballyhoo died.

So what happened?

A. There was no plan, just a story to keep investors happy?

B. There is a plan, but it lies untouched in the shrine they made of Job's office?

C. There was a plan, but all it essentially says is, "Good luck!"?

D. There is a plan, full of ideas and insight for the future. Cook read it, but wailed, "But this'll cost a fortune in research and development! No way!"

Personally, I lean toward D.

Say what you want about Jobs, he had vision, and the balls to follow it.

IMO, He was able to record the vision to pass it on, but Cook lacks the balls to follow it.

8
0

Google nukes ad-blocker AdNauseam, sweeps remains out of Chrome Web Store

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Message to advertisers and ad agencies

"One drop against an endless sea, they will reply."

My counter reply: Many drops are what make an endless sea. You risk being swept away on the rising tide you create.

(See? I can do fortune cookie wisdom too!) ☺

2
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Well I never!

/sarc An ad pushing company bans ad blocker as malware.

Who could have seen that coming? /sarc

58
0

China to Donald Trump: Twitter diplomacy 'undesirable'

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: I wonder if...

" the real business of populating his administration with criminals ready to line their pockets with anything and everything they can grab or get away with."

So politics as usual then?

7
0

Puny galaxy packs a big punch: A gazillion joules' worth of radio bursts

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Science

As a sage once said: "The Universe is not only stranger than you imagine, it's stranger than you can imagine."

It's a fun game to watch though: line up the theories in a row, and see how fast the Universe knocks them down.

8
0

Florida Man sues Verizon for $72m – for letting him commit identity theft

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: The time has come .......

"Citizens of the US, I'm sorry but the time has come where it just has to be said - if you want the rest of us to start taking you seriously again you're going to have to do something to stop this sort of idiocy"

Sorry, we're helpless to stop this.

We've tried to reign in Florida's idiocy, but time and time again, any attempt to inject common sense into the state is stymied as it, somehow, always disappears at the border.

"or at least prevent us from finding out about it and having a good laugh at your expense."

We're laughing at Florida's antics just as hard as the rest of the world.

(Except maybe California, they have their own crazy going on.)

29
0

Speeding jet of Siberian liquid hot Magma getting speedier, satellites find

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"so if it appears somewhere I'll recognise it and make a point of watching it. :)"

Here it is!

(Link to Daily Mail deliberately chosen to test your resolve) ☺

0
0

NASA eyes up supermassive black holes, neutron stars

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Congratulations

"NASA planned a mission to !Go! to a black hole. So good catch avoiding that potato reportage quality."

Well, they could if they wanted to.

There's a massive black hole Nearby right outside Washington DC that swallows massive amounts of energy in financial form, draining resources so heavily that it's had a major negative impact on the nation's infrastructure,and programs, including NASA itself, with fallout creating "no-go zones" worldwide.

You can recognise it by its unique five sided appearance.

4
0

Ruh-roh! Rick Ruhl rolled out of Ham Radio Deluxe in software kill-switch aftermath

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Obligatory response:

https://youtu.be/SUS4TpBry6c

12
0

Those online ads driving you bonkers are virtually 'worthless for brands'

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Puzzled

"You ask why the ad-flingers persist."

No. I don't. It's obvious.

They get paid by companies trying to get their brand to the masses, and will promise those companies the Sun and Moon to get their ad dollars.

Then they blast the ads at the public, who doesn't want them, for pennies on the dollars they take in.

Public loses through degraded, dangerously malware filled "advertising".

Companies lose. Both financially and reputationaly for using the ad-flingers.

Ad-flingers rake it in from the real morons, the Companies that pay them.

That's why they persist.

25
0

Folders return to Windows 10's Start Thing

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: brought back

"Should you feel the need to play with a paint box sod off and design packaging for tins of beans."

Oh crap no! They'd end up putting them in sardine tins and labeling them "Asparagus" because it's "trendier", or some even worse nonsense.

4
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: 17 inch penis!!

"What are the females like?"

And now, young padawan, you have learned the reason why ducks waddle funny when they walk. ☺

15
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Does anyone even use the Win 10 start mess?

"Why don't you just get youself a nice Linux distribution and save yourself from more grief?"

Maybe because, like millions of people/businesses stuck on Windows, the software they want/need doesn't come in a Linux version?

I was lucky. Never was much of a mainstream gamer, and always shunned Windows only software for alternatives that did the job with less hassle/expense for me.

Switched over from 2002-2006, wittling away at Windows dependent software over time as Linux offerings improved by leaps and bounds, and never looked back.

These days, most mainstream Linux distros are easier to use for newbies in every way than current Windows offerings, but the main software houses still write for Windows, so MS still has that lock-in.

No, seriously. I can jump from one distro to another, each with wildly different UI setups with few problems, but am totally lost on any Windows that's not 7, or XP and earlier.

26
3

Flight simulator sets fire to airport

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"No s**t Sherlock. It's hardly likely to be pilot error, is it?"

Depends, was Homer Simpson training on it?

https://youtu.be/2n23oapBEao

11
0

Amazon files patent for 'Death Star' flying warehouse

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Mopeds?

"It works for pizzas (which are heavy, delicate and time sensitive). We'd need significant improvements in power storage density and AI before a drone would be a better solution than a human on a moped"

All ready got that covered: orbital pizzas!

Still a few bugs in the system though.

1
0

Raspberry Pi Foundation releases operating system for PCs, Macs

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: And it appears to be 3D skeuomorphic!

"because even MS can't achieve true portability between versions of its own damn suite!"

Well of course. Once some numpty in high places gets the latest and greatest, it forces everyone else to "upgrade".

Otherwise, who (besides said numpty) would ever bother?

3
0

What gifts did ol' kitten heels May get this year?

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Kitten heels?

Had to look that one up myself.

Turns out it's a type of high heeled shoe.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitten_heel

1
0

Softcat centrefolds wrap up for charity

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Covered in wrapping paper

"I think many of the meeting I have to go to would be improved by everyone being covered from head to toe in wrapping paper."

I'd settle for just taping shut certain people's mouths for the duration of the meeting.

0
0

Netflix US Twitter account hacked

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Traditional media is good

Perhaps you are thinking of country singer Conway Twitter?

Best known for his song "Your Cheating Lark"?

2
0

China gives America its underwater drone back – with a warning

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Nukes? Psshaw!

More like: Return that drone ASAP, or we (the US) will default on all those T-bills you (China) are holding!

12
2

IBM staff petition for right not to work on Trump's pet projects

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: First thought

You got the wrong end of the stick there.

IBM has a habit of going over budget and under delivering on government contracts. (see Australian census for latest SNAFU)

That's what I was poking fun at.

Hillary? Trump? Overall, I don't see one as better or worse than the other. Just different flavors of fail.

2
1
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

First thought

"IBM staff petition for right not to work on Trump's pet projects"

They want the projects to succeed. ☺

15
3

Ham-fisted: Chap's radio app killed remotely after posting bad review

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

-admitting that a support staffer had disabled the customer's software key in response to the poor review.

"This does not reflect the policies or procedures of our company. But it was said. It was a mistake," he said.-

So they're claiming,It wasn't me, honest! A bad boy did it, then he ran away!"?

30
0

Twitter partly un-kills Vine, which will live again as Vine Camera

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Why doesn't it work?

Losing money? Hemorrhaging financially?

Buy an online service and piss off the users!

Billions are spent by major and minor corporations doing just that!

It"s the financial cure-all for for all your money woes!

"Does it work?", you ask.

Well frankly, no.

But what else can you do? Figure out a sound business plan before, during, and after starting your business?

LOL! How Victorian!

2
0

London's Winter Wonderland URGENTLY seeks Windows 10 desk support

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Just...

"Throw all the Windows 10 devices into the Serpentine and go home."

>Crowd of MSCE holders< "OH no you wouldn't!"

3
0

Not OK Google: Tree-loving family turns down Page and pals' $7m

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: $7M you say?

"Hell, I'd stand up from my desk, not even log off, leave everything, and just walk away to retirement...."

Nah, keep quiet, work like normal... but buy your boss's mortgage.

Then when he acts the ass, threaten to foreclose. ☺

8
0

Windows Server 2016's VM migration tools broken by a patch

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"MS quality control."

Did they ever get the memo that it is not the same procedure as pest control?

0
0

Amazon's first live drone delivery flew last week in Cambridge, UK

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Anvils

"I'm ordering a family pack of anvils."

Make sure it's the famous Acme brand. Airborne since 1948!

1
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: The video was missing something...

I prefer this.

0
0

Forums