* Posts by Captain DaFt

3403 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Russian hacker arrested in Spain for bot-herding not election-fiddling

Captain DaFt
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Re: Pump and dump scam

Sounds like he'd better be careful he doesn't end up like this guy.

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Give 'bots a chance: Driverless cars to be trialled between London and Oxford

Captain DaFt
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"Oxbotica"

Must be getting dyslexic.

Keep reading that as "Obnoxia".

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China 'hacked' South Korea to wreck Star Wars missile shield

Captain DaFt
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Re: action and reactiion

"Any politician who wasn't expecting it is an idiot."

Well, that's the US House and Senate covered then.

(And the POTUS is keeping himself informed by binge watching M*A*S*H on Netflix.) :/

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Wait – we can explain, says Moby, er, Docker amid rebrand meltdown

Captain DaFt
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Re: Name Change, what for?

"Since then, people have wizened up"

Yes, we're all getting older. Maybe a few are even getting wiser. ☺

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Microsoft promises twice-yearly Windows 10, O365 updates – with just 18 months' support

Captain DaFt
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"None of the solutions offered by MS have worked and they have helpfully suggested I backup my personal data and then nuke the machine and start again..."

Oh pshaw. Just call them back about an hour later, and say, "Thanks for the advice, Backed up my data, nuked the system, and installed Linux Mint. It works great now!"

Then hang up.

(BTW, don't really have to install Linux, just say you did.) ☺

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Captain DaFt
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Anybody else?

Or is it just me getting the impression Microsoft is throwing random darts at a board to generate company policy lately?

(And if they are, seems more than a few players have been struck in the head by said darts!) ☺

The past few months have seen an increasing number of WTF? policy shifts and announcements. It almost seems like they want customers to leave.

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Google's 'adblocker' is all about taking back control

Captain DaFt
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Sorry Google

I want nothing, zip, zero, nada, bupkiss, from you.

You long ago poisoned your own well to toxic waste with corporate greed.

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HTC seeks salvation with squeezy design

Captain DaFt
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Re: Pontless tinkering

"In bleak Winter with heavily gloved hands and so not the light sensitivity of normal holding phone in (bare) hand , I could see lots of scope for accidental squeeze gestures"

Forget winter, what about where most people carry their phones, in pockets.

"Sorry I haven't called in a week, but every time I sit down, the phone tweets "qwsdcvbjkplkjytfvbiolkhtrfvhuolkjytfvc jiokmndcv uytfvb.... " until the battery's flat.

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Flaws found in Linksys routers that could be used to create a botnet

Captain DaFt
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Rule #1 for a more stress-free life:

"Linksys Smart Wi-Fi Routers"

Avoid every product, and I mean every product, with "smart" in its name!

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Have we got a new, hip compound IT phrase for you! Enter... UserDev

Captain DaFt
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"ask them what they want the new whizzbang app to do and they'll say they want the same as they have already but faster and less crashy."

And what's wrong with that? Mozilla and Microsoft (among many others) could do a lot better listening to such advice!

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Can you make a warzone delivery drone? UK.gov wants to give you cash

Captain DaFt
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Re: The last mile delivery

Ammo delivered ballistically? I think the enemy'd already have that covered. ☺

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Captain DaFt
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Re: US SBIR has been active for decades. UK SBIR started in 2009.

"Looking at the details a bit more (SBIR's are not just MoD) the base line is 5Kg in a 1m cube at 8kph to a 3Km radius with up to 30km range on one tank of fuel."

Hmm, Trained dog with backpack. "Go get ammo, lassie!"

Dog runs to supply base, gets fed, watered, 15 minute rest, sent back.

"Good girl, Lassie!" "Huh? What's that girl? Timmy's down a well again? Well, sucks to be him, don't it!"

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What a To-Do! Microsoft snuffs out Wunderlist

Captain DaFt
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"We did recently compliment Microsoft for being almost coherent by having only two Slack rivals (Teams and Yammer), and not five. Or ten. At least compared to Google."

Well that's your mistake right there! Never hint they're doing anything different from Google. They'll drop everything else and race to look like they're doing the same!

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SPY-tunes scandal: Bloke sues Bose after headphones app squeals on his playlist

Captain DaFt
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Re: $5M...

"despair when people feel the need to sling multi-million dollar lawsuits every time they feel slightly put out."

Other reasons to do so besides *KA-CHING*:

>Said publicity alerts more people to the problem, so more people less likely to fall in same trap or sue if they're in the same situation, and company is more likely to settle quickly to make bad publicity go away.

> Company is likely to offer to counter-offer that more in line with what he really wants.

>Because he's fucking pissed, and this is the version of two fingers up that the company understands and respects..

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Captain DaFt
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Re: The advantages of poverty

"but the superior noise reduction these bring to the table (vs. el-cheapo Sony cans)"

Now there's where you and I differ.

I use a pair of Sony* outdoorsman earphones because I want to listen to my music and be aware of my surroundings.

(Wouldn't want to miss such outside sounds as *HONK*, *Look out!*, and "MY God! He's gotta gun!!") ☺

For just enjoying the music and nothing else, nothing beats a decent set of speakers and a quiet room.

* *Spit*, Only Sony product I own. Dates back before they let the media wing consume all that was good in the company. (Yes, the headphones are *that* good and durable!)

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We're spying on you for your own protection, says NSA, FBI

Captain DaFt
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"why not tell the world (or at least Congress) how many crimes *have* been solved by their illegal activities and what those crimes where (i.e. parking fines or mass murder)? Surely they have a number for that?"

No, no they don't work like that. They're too busy hoovering up everyone else's data to keep track of their own.

I mean, they can't even tell if someone working for them is accessing internal systems they shouldn't have access to, for release to the public.

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Will the MOAB (Mother Of all AdBlockers) finally kill advertising?

Captain DaFt
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Re: People don't hate adverts, just awful adverts...

"I only whitelist sites I like that promise to provide only polite (no sound, no animation) ads for products or services that have been vetted by the site admins to be legitimate... and if those promises are ever broken, the blocking is restored."

Yah, I did that... Ended up with an empty whitelist after about six weeks.

It's like the marketeers *cough*Google*cough* hunted down the sites and made them offers they couldn't refuse.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: And the choice is ?

"I remember that Internet. There were a few freeware and shareware apps and some low-res scans of old copies of Playboy."

I still surf that internet. Oh, and you didn't mention the hobbyists that put their work online to share with other enthusiasts, Amateur artists that share art, web comics, opinion blogs, and even porn, all sites with links* to similar sites or to sites the site authors find interesting.

For social media there was Usenet and IRC. (IRC is actually still going strong, but Google took over most of Usenet, although there are still private nodes about, if you get an invite.)

Not to mention webrings, which lists various sites by topic.

*Google HATES these, and will drop your site way down in the rankings if you have them. (Remember El Reg had them?)

Want a microcosm of what the web was/should be? Start here It's on guy's accidental discovery and re-creation of the classic web.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: People DO hate adverts

"back to senders in their "back to senders in their reply-paid envelope."

"This is good, but for extra bonus fun. Add a sprinkling of glitter inside the envelope."

Back in my High School days, one mail order 'tech school' kept pestering me with a daily barrage of snail mail.

So I trimmed a hefty piece of slate to fit the reply-paid envelope.

About a week later, the barrage (which had been ceaseless for months) stopped completely.

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Why Firefox? Because not everybody is a web designer, silly

Captain DaFt
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Re: An alternative.

"One browser that I haven't seem mentioned in the debate is Palemoon"

Personally, I find SeaMonkey better.

Gets all the bugfixes, but keeps a constant look and feel.

And despite being smaller than Firefox, manages to be a full suite, including browser, email, RSS, and IRC client in one.

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Microsoft touts SQL Server 2017 as 'first RDBMS with built-in AI'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ha Ha

"Do MS know what AI actually is?"

Considering their history with their OS and software I'd say they think AI means "All Inclusive".

Maybe it was just a fever dream after trying to use it once, but I'd swear that Word has an option for sorting socks somewhere in that ribbon thingy.

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Stop asking people for their passwords, rights warriors yell at US Homeland Security

Captain DaFt
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"We desperately need a Trump icon. I feel it could well be used often !!!!"

Considering the ever increasing number of Idiots In Office™ polluting Governments worldwide this century, how about an icon showing a character with an open mouth (inserted shoe optional), and a large vacant hole between the ears.

That should cover most cringe worthy politicians.

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That apple.com link you clicked on? Yeah, it's actually Russian

Captain DaFt
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Re: an easy fix for firefox

That fix also works for SeaMonkey. Thanks.

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OpenStack: Pleeeeease stop panicking, Intel and Rackspace still love us

Captain DaFt
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Re: Is intel in trouble?

Probably, some bean counter noticed that profits had raised by .00001% less than last quarter, and notified management by screaming:

"RED ALERT!! Hit the Big RED Austerity Button™ NAOOW!!"

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Feel guilty for scoffing Easter chocolate? Good news: Scientists have made NEGATIVE mass

Captain DaFt
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Help me out here

So, if I'm designing an artificial gravity, should I put a mass generator in the floor, or a negative mass generator in the ceiling?

Or both!?

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Guess who's back at Microsoft? Excel, Word creator Charles Simonyi

Captain DaFt
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Woah!

"I am excited, stoked, amped, and elated to join forces again with Microsoft"

Must've been one Hell of an income raise for him!

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eBay threatens to block Australians from using offshore sellers

Captain DaFt
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Australian government:

"Ax, meet golden goose, golden goose, meet ax. I'm sure this arrangement will enrich us greatly!"

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Leaked NSA point-and-pwn hack tools menace Win2k to Windows 8

Captain DaFt
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"Finally how an earth do a "hacking group" hack into the NSA if the NSA are aware of all the exploits before them?"

How could they not? Once it was confirmed that NSA had a huge cache of zero day exploits hidden away, it was the Klondike Gold Rush all over again.

Dangerous, risky, but, oh, the rewards if you succeeded!

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Apple nabs permit to experiment with self-driving iCars in Cali

Captain DaFt
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“use simple geometry to identify which edges of which obstacles an agent is most likely to collide.”

AKA what every robotics hobbyist group has bee doing since the Gameboy camera hit the market.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Not The Only One

"For Fruit to make a pile of cash it is not necessary for them to have a car but to have the technology for sale/license to the automakers."

"Nice self driving car you've got there. Now if you license our tech, you you won't have to spend years in court with us before you can sell it."

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Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't think that snakes have feet.

"To begin with, they were lizards …"

Heh, considering the gatling-like rate they're blasting feet, surely they started out as a millipede! ☺

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Back to the Future 2: Gasp! America's trade watchdog discovers the risks of 'free' movies

Captain DaFt
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"This all sounds like someone in government got gobsmacked with a clue..."

I'm guessing that the Justin Bieber video someone downloaded turned out to be a ransom ware trojan. ☺

Eh, could have been worse, it could have actually been a Justin Bieber video! ☺

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Captain DaFt
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Revealed!

Will Maxson, AKA Captain Obvious! ☺

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US military makes first drop of Mother-of-All-Bombs on Daesh-bags

Captain DaFt
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You forgot to add this video:

https://youtu.be/R4FfNYjw6qU

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China emerges as digital rights champion with new info privacy law

Captain DaFt
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Re: tl;dr

"Nobody other than us gets to spy on our citizens!"

As opposed to the US stance:

"Come'n'get it! World's biggest data buffet! The more ya pay, the higher we'll pile your plate! All major corporations welcome!"

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Apple wets its pants over Swatch ad tagline

Captain DaFt
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Re: This is what lawyers do

¿Qué?

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Intelligent robots can walk the walk – but if they can't talk the talk, we can't get along

Captain DaFt
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"how about Artificial Stupidity for the time being?"

No thanks, there's just no market for Artificial Stupidity when the real stuff is such an overabundant commodity.

AI, on the other hand, is eagerly sought because Real Intelligence is so scarce in the World.

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Windows 10 Creators Update general rollout begins with a privacy dialogue

Captain DaFt
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Another MS update,

another forum filled with people complaining about it and helpful types linking to tweaks and programs to make it slightly less a total omnishambles, and snarky types saying "Use 'X' instead, noobs!"

Congrats MS, your OS is finally at the stage GNU/Linux was at

Thirty fargin' years ago!

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'Evidence of Chinese spying' uncovered on eve of Trump-Xi summit

Captain DaFt
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"Surely the NSA knew since they've hacked into the Chinese governmnet"

Well, they will know about 2036 or thereabouts, when they finally wade through all the yottabytes of data they've collected.

This year? "Hey look at this data from 2001! Terrorists are planning an attack on the World Trade Center!"

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McAfee is McAfee again, promises security with kum ba yah

Captain DaFt
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Re: Perhaps someone with Photoshop skills...

Uhm, Magneto?

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Pong, anyone? How about Pong on a vintage oscilloscope?

Captain DaFt
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Re: Kudos for the effort....

"It reminds me of a binary "computer" my 3rd grade teacher's son built in the 1960's"

This one?

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Captain DaFt
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"the only way to top that, would be by building a Pong game from thermionic valves."

How about a more sophisticated tennis game, using relays?

https://youtu.be/s2E9iSQfGdg

Tennis for two, built in 1958!

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Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

Captain DaFt
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Re: Cross

"He sounds quite cross"

You think he's cross? Just wait until the Messiah returns!

He descends from the heavens, surrounded by heralding angels, the adoring throngs gather, and then:

"Crucifixes!? You're all wearing crucifixes? Is this some sort of sick joke? I was killed with a freaking crucifix!"

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Mac Pro update: Apple promises another pricey thing it will no doubt abandon after a year

Captain DaFt
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@ J. Cook

Better check your sarcasm detector. ☺

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Verizon utters solemn Oath: Yahoo! will remain Yahoo!

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ya-who?

"PS: Oath: is: a: lousy: name: for: an: ad: snooper:"

They were going to call it what users normally called Yahoo! and AOL, but compromised on OATH: because SHIT! was considered to edgy for the market. ☺

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: IBM sheds more workers – this time, tech sales

Captain DaFt
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Question:

Will the last IBM worker be sent stateside to turn the lights out?

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Creators Update gives Windows 10 a bit of an Edge, but some old annoyances remain

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ads in Explorer?

"This will get hacked to buggery, and the results will be hilarious."

MS boasts that Win10 has, what, 10 million installs now?

I see nothing hilarious about a botnet that size!

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IT contractors behind IR35 calculator to leave HMRC... because of IR35

Captain DaFt
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Re: I have a question ..

-If you answer with "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right" -

Better yet, use 'IDDQD' and not only do you never pay taxws again, you get a peerage!

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