* Posts by Captain DaFt

3624 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Chairman Zuck ends would-be president Zuck's political career

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

He doesn't need to be President

Well, would you rather try to govern over three and a quarter million people with the World's press watching, waiting for you to make a gaffe, or have near absolute control over over two Beeellion 'Dumb Fucks' (as he calls his users) online activities?

0
2

Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Easy money for black hats then

If these thugs are as inept dealing with the underworld as they are with everything else, They'll be broke, pwned, and wondering what the hell happened in no time.

1
0

Chatbots: A load of hype or fancy lifehack for the lazy IT person?

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Chatbots are the new wave of AI!

At least that's what they said in the 1980s.

2
0

Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Sponsored = don't bother reading

I saw that, dropped straight to the comments, wasn't disappointed. ☺

3
2

How's that 'turnaround' year going, Capita? ...Sheesh, sorry I asked

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

My violin is not small enough to properly express my level of sympathy.

All my sympathies are expressed here.

0
0

Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

How true. If the management at Xerox hadn't been so hide bound to "We're a company that makes copiers", today we'd be talking about Xerox instead of Microsoft, or even Apple.

0
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

his company popularised the use of PCs by providing an easy to use interface

I think that offering DOS for under $100 US (or 'Free' because it came with the machine) when other OSs for PCs ran from $300 to $800 might have had something to do with it in the beginning.

1
0

Viacom exposes crown jewels to world+dog in AWS S3 bucket blunder

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

A bit ambiguous

- Once Viacom became aware that information on a server – including technical information, but no employee or customer information – was publicly accessible, we rectified the issue. -

Uhm, did they fix the leak, or just added the missing employee/customer data?

The way it scans, it almost reads like leaving that out was the problem.

14
0

Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Wannamker's Dictum

I thought the modern version was something like:

Half the money spent on advertising is wasted, the rest was spent on Yachts and nose candy.

9
0

Senators call for '9/11-style' commission on computer voting security

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

- Senators call for '9/11-style' commission on computer voting security -

So lots of posturing, dithering, and voting any piece of legislation put in front of them into law without bothering to read it?

Sounds about right.

27
0

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

One wonders if the inserted beat makes mommy-to-be ... uh .... er ... "smile", that's it ... and baby gets the endorphin rush.

On the other hand: The fetus spends most of its time sleeping.

So is that "strong response" to music the same one I have when the neighbors start blasting their music at 3am?

23
0

DARPA lays out cash-splash to defibrillate Moore's Law

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Where is this going?

I'm guessing that the long term aim is to have a computing engine that fits on a single quark, and runs at several trillion GHz.

And inevitably someone will ask it, "Is there a God?", and it will reply,

"There is now!"

2
0

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary"

I learned it as "I will be doing the needful."

Whatever. Just don't accidentally the whole thing again, OK?

4
0

Monkey selfie case settles for a quarter of future royalties

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: I fscking loathe PETA

People Exterminating Terrorfied Animals

3
0

Daily Stormer binned by yet another registrar, due to business risks

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

- Jeftovic therefore created the idea of “'Martian separatists' to capture the entire realm of possibilities for 'X' because any real world example would probably 'trigger' somebody, somewhere.” -

But then he receives a very angry, very incomprehensible, complaint from amanfromMars, and is very confused.

19
0

Virginia scraps poke-to-vote machines hackers destroyed at DefCon

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Replacements

So what are they replacing them with ? Different machines, or a proper auditable trail ?

Precinct 12 replaces theirs with machines from precinct 11, 11 replaces theirs with machines from 10, and so on down the line with precinct 1 replacing theirs with machines from precinct 12.

(Gads, I hope I'm kidding!)

8
0

我的天啊! China gives Weibo users a week to use their real names

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Anonymity is necesary.

I think it's unarguable that sometimes anonymity is necessary in a free-functioning society.

Absolutely, and if it's suppressed on the internet, it'll take place in the streets, among neighbors, the cafes, anywhere a word can be shared in private.

By blocking it on the 'net, the authorities are just blinding themselves to a window to gauge how the people in the streets are feeling... well, at least until they're storming seats of government.

Then the inevitable: "But, but this cannot be! Online everyone is so happy and content! Everyone loves us!"

2
0

User demanded PC be moved to move to a sunny desk – because it needed Windows

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: seem to be breeding a special kind of 'dumb'

The industry needs to design for people as they are, not as they'd like them to be, and it needs to design for a larger chunk of the bell curve.

NO! Think for a moment about what you're saying!

You want even dumber people to easily get on teh interwebs!?

6
0

Dolphins inspire ultrasonic attacks that pwn smartphones, cars and digital assistants

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Really?

Well the bats are laughing.

Laughing at ultrasonic hacking? More like grossed out, I'd say.

0
0

Climate-change skeptic lined up to run NASA in this Trump timeline

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Both sides of the GW debate should STFU!

Until they read and digest this. Applies to other heated debates as well.

TL;DR version: People are idiots, get over it.

6
3

User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Praise or accusations of work not done?

In Brazil we call this "BIOS" (Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema) - Something like "Ignorant Animal Using the System". :D

With a tweak, that'll work in English too: Brainless Idiot Operating System

Thanks!

9
0

Deputy AG Rosenstein calls for law to require encryption backdoors

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: An unbreakable backdoor would be nice

backdoored software would be classified as "munitions" and made illegal to export to other countries.

Of course, The US has no qualms about selling munitions to friendly countries and allies, Like say, Their old allies in the Middle East: Iran, Iraq, and the Taliban.

Sure came in handy later when we were fighting in the Middle East with... Iran, Iraq, and the Taliban? Uh, wait, hold on...

11
0

Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: TIME TO RETRAIN

One clown managed to go pretty far in US politics...

Just one? You haven't been paying US politics much attention, have you?

2
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Why do Clowns think they are funny or entertaining?

What about ventriloquist's dummies?

I have a friend that, as an adult, will still not go into an attic alone because of one.

When he was a wee lad, he was at his grandmother's house, and roaming around, he went to the attic.

Propped by the attic window was a ventriloquist's dummy.

When he walked toward it, its eyes popped open.

Probably jarred open by the vibrations from his footsteps in a creaky attic, but much panic and screaming ensued, I was told.

6
0

Instagram's leaky API exposed celebrities' contact details

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"As entertainment industry bible Variety has reported, someone recently hijacked actor Selena Gomez's account to post Justin Beiber nudes."

Duuude, that's like breaking into Fort Knox to steal their toilet paper! ☺

17
0

Google ARCore brings augmented reality to relatively small audience

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

"With the success of Pokemon Go, Snapchat's World Lenses (AR filters for images), and SDKs from Microsoft, Facebook, Apple, and now Google, he expects interest in AR will grow among consumers and developers."

DaFt translation:

"If we all keep flinging this crap at the wall, something's bound to stick eventually."

Or... In a few months, they'll find some other crap to fling for awhile, and forget aalll about this for a dozen years or so.

Just like last time.

2
3

Uber squints, makes room for another probe: This time it's bribery

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Another day,

another Uber Scandal. Is there anything that company hasn't tried that's shady?

4
0

San Franciscans unite to smite alt-right with minefield of doggy shite

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Stand by for ironic backfire

"locals are storing up their doggy do-do and plan to distribute it in the area the protestors are holding the rally."

Then the Alt-right group shows up, photographs the mess, clean it up, take more pictures, then carry on with their silly little rally, and forever after use the before and after pictures to show "who's civilised".

Someone should school these people about what happens when descending to the idiot's level when arguing with idiots.

Hint: You look like a bigger idiot because the idiot will beat you with experience.

8
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Remember when...

Nothing, no right, no liberty, was ever won by the people by means of solely peaceful protests.

"Mahatma Gandhi:

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was the leader of the Indian independence movement against British rule. Employing nonviolent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world."

Well, hardly ever.

7
0

Google will let cloud customers use plain-old-Internet links

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

So if Standard Tier is similar to other public cloud offerings, where's the advantage?

What's the appeal?

0
0

Google slaps a suit on beefed up Chrome OS, offers Enterprise version for business

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Competition

Should be an interesting couple years ahead of us.

The ancient Chinese curse at work. ☺

"May you be doomed to live in interesting times."

2
0

Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Just sub armless fun

Frankly, the whole thing smells fishy.

10
4

London cops urged to scrap use of 'biased' facial recognition at Notting Hill Carnival

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

So it only works on old white men then?

It works better on white males above 30. Why? Look who taught it... Unintentional bias at play.

Therefore it means more false positives against women, black people, and those aged 18-30, as well as false negatives.

Lower accuracy means perps missed, innocent people targeted.

(That's a bad thing)

7
4
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

The letter also points to reports of inherent biases in the system – research has previously shown that matching accuracies are lower on certain cohorts of people: women, black people, and those aged 18-30.

The response?

"What? Those are the types that must be guilty of something!"

6
6

Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Motorway median

The motorway bridge blocks them too, not just the pillar

Not to mention power lines, Traffic lights, traffic islands, pedestrians, and festival banners.

Plus, how does this contraption handle intersections?

Stop and wobble? Barrel through with horn blazing?

2
0

Singapore court awards $2.9m over bad job reference

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Once they have left you then they no longer require any further performance evaluation. Safer not to say anything.

Of course, there's the apocryphal reference, famous for its ambiguity:

"If you can get this individual to work for you, you will indeed be fortunate."

15
0

Space boffins competing for $20m Moon robot X-Prize are told: Be there by March 31 – or bust

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: do something that literally has never been done before

I think that has been done before. What makes it unique?

Doing it at a price that's not a largish chunk of a major nations GPD?

1
0

New MH370 analysis again suggests plane came down outside search area

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Now this is intersting

However, regardless of this, you would have thought these organisations are aware of what they have and what has been photographed and therefore, even if it's low priority, would take a look at it.

Take the various organizations, the number of satellites, and the time scale (weeks), we're talking about yottabytes of data to sort through, mostly manually.

For example: A lot of data gathered by NASA during the seventies was lost, either because the format it was in was obsoleted before anyone had time to examine it, or it was lost or corrupted over time, because there was so much data gathered, and only so many people (a few thousand) to examine it.

Data collection is easy, going through it all takes a lot of time, manpower, and resources.

1
0

Kremlin's hackers 'wield stolen NSA exploit to spy on hotel guests in Europe, Mid East'

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: This is getting really tiresome

Putin learned that lesson, and learned the lesson of asymmetric warfare in Afghanistan (that the US should have learned from)

The US Government learned that lesson in Vietnam, vowed, "Never again!", and then promptly forgot.

Maybe if the House and Senate member,s median age wasn't over seventy, They'd remember things.

13
0

Google and its terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week in full

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Now you see

This is why Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Reddit, and other social sites like them are important.

The rabid mouth foamers from both sides of any debate happily lock themselves up together in them to engage in mortal and pointless combat.

Keeps them off the streets and out of my face. ☺

52
2

Tech billionaire Khosla loses battle over public beach again – and still grants no access

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

The other guy

Gavin Newsom seems to think all he needs to get elected is funding.

Should've taken the lesson from the last presidential election that all the funding in the world doesn't help if you insist on pissing of the average voter.

6
1

HMS Queen Lizzie impugned by cheeky Scot's drone landing

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

There are a few devices out there that can knock drones out of the sky, but most are in the experimental phase or just coming to commercialisation (my firm is one of those releasing a product). Still a long time before they become ubiquitous though as they are not exactly cheap units at the moment.

Only a lack of personnel on deck saved the drone.

I find it hard to believe that the vessel was unequipped with this type of anti-drone weapon. ☺

8
0

Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

OK, so it won't hit us

But mentioning Chelyabinsk, Didn't that one sneak in while we were watching another one?

5
0

At last, a kosher cryptocurrency: BitCoen

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Me too

Someone bought a car using it ... but all the doors fell off as he drove away.

But on the plus side, it seats 60 people! ☺

1
0
Captain DaFt
Silver badge

I do think that any man and his dog seems to be creating a new currency

That would explain Dogecoin

(Very open, Much people, little value)

3
0

NASA short-lists six candidates for future missions

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: Come on...

Can we please stop this buggering about and focus on getting our asses to Mars... or at least back to the moon...

Instead of these "one shot" projects, how about a permanent, long term space lab for space exploration? Big enough to hold a proper crew of dozens in a shirt sleeve enviroment. Build/park it in a proper Earth orbit, supply it with shuttles, then off to Moon, Mars, Titan, Europa, or whatever.

Long term missions in a proper solar system explorer.

And I'm talking a proper ship here, not some piddly little satellite that's not even high enough to clear the thermosphere, let alone the exosphere.

DAMMIT! I want the 21st Century that I was promised as a kid!

Not this "Shut up and enjoy this new gadget designed to distract you" Bizarro timeline I seem to have fallen into!

1
0

Send mixed messages: Mozilla wants you to try its encrypted file sharing

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Re: "Firefox OS and Friends"

Was that the Kids TV show spin off?

Actually, the kid's TV show is Mozilla's next big project.

1
0

Forget Iran and North Korea. Now there's another uranium source

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

Arm chair musing

Are small black holes really needed for this?

The assumption is that the Neutron star collapses uniformly, but is that the case?

Maybe the core collapses faster than the outer layers can accelerate, causing a rebound shockwave similar to a super nova, but much, much more powerful, blasting the outer layers with enough force to create the heavier elements and disperse them through space?

Or maybe I shouldn't think about things like this whilst not sober?

2
0

Our day with Larry Page: Embedded with one of the world's richest men

Captain DaFt
Silver badge

I see as a Google-evolved "if you can't dazzle 'em with brains, baffle 'em with bullshit."

Strikes me as the "Say absolutely nothing, but don't sop talking" school of obfuscation.

5
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017