* Posts by Captain DaFt

3516 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Hot news! Combustible Galaxy Note 7 to return as 'Galaxy Note FE'

Captain DaFt
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I'll be nice for once ☺

It obviously stands for 'Flame Extinguished'!

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The 'DUP' joins El Reg’s illustrious online standards converter

Captain DaFt
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Re: Welll . . .

If you're a British taxpayer, looks like you've just been!

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What? What? Which? Former broadband minister Ed Vaizey dismisses report

Captain DaFt
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Re: Believing BT bollocks

"These figures result in population densities of about 17,000 per sq mile and 52 per sq mile respectively.

At which location is it (a) easier, and (b) economic, to provide high - speed broadband to individual customers?"

Depends. Which one is the company being reluctant to do?

If Urban: Negotiating right of ways and permissions is prohibitively expensive and time consuming. We should be nearing completion sometime in the next decade. It's far easier to install in the rural areas, where there is more public right of way and fewer permissions needed.

Ir Rural: It is cost prohibitive due to sparse population to reach every household in a timely manner. We should be nearing completion sometime in the next decade. This would be far easier in Urban areas, where population density is higher.

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Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Captain DaFt
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Re: "although wikipedia states"

"IIRC you are not supposed to use Wikipedia as a source, but to go to the citations."

And it doesn't hurt to check that the citations don't just end up referencing Wikipedia!

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Captain DaFt
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-Definition of nm

1 nanometer

2 nautical mile

Source: Merriam-Webster-

So that was the mix-up that doomed that Mars mission!

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Researchers solve screen glare nightmare with 'moth-eye' antireflective film

Captain DaFt
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Yes, Jiun-Haw Lee has revealed that he is Captain Obvious!

He will soon find himself at the mercy of The Obfuscation Overlord!

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Despite high-profile hires, Apple's TV plans are doomed

Captain DaFt
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Re: "There's more premium original content than consumers can even watch."

"If it's always been the case, broadly speaking, that only 3% of TV was worth watching,"

From my perspective, you're being very, very generous.

For my entire lifetime, I can count the number of must see shows on one hand, and still have a finger left over*, and probably another dozen shows, at best, that were worth wasting time on.

*And those were animation, AKA cartoons.

It's funny how so called 'Children's shows' actually aim at a higher mental level than crime dramas, sit-coms, 'reality' shows,and and other so called 'Adult fare.**

**You were expecting a joke about which finger, weren't you?

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Microsoft recommends you ignore Microsoft-recommended update

Captain DaFt
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Re: A new meaning to

Really? Wile E. Coyote's only ever been a danger to himself.

I would have thought this Fustercluck more along the wiles of Larry, Moe, and Curly.

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BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Captain DaFt
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Re: A Question of style

"For some reason everyone lost interest after that."

Simple, easy and functional; anathema for a modern 'Usability Designer'! ☺

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Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Maybe if Gwyneth started selling carbon-fiber movie tickets...

Nah, the theatre would need to pass out copious amounts of "High level spirits" to have that effect.

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Florida Man to be fined $1.25 per robocall... all 96 million of them

Captain DaFt
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Re: Punishment

What did the sharks do to you that you'd want to punish them this way?

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Heaps of Windows 10 internal builds, private source code leak online

Captain DaFt
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So how'd they get it?

32 TB is a freakin' lot of data to down load, to say the least.

And nobody at MS saw a thing? Really?

So, stored "securely" on an Azure cloud?

Internal git left open to world + dog?

Somebody hung at the favorite MS watering hole with a crate of harddrives going "Psst, buddy, wanna make some big bucks quick?"

Mind boggled that someone pulled this off!

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Cheeky IT rival parks 'we're hiring' van outside 'vote Tory' firm Storm Technologies

Captain DaFt
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Re: How would Storm know?

"they could always try asking me :D"

Well, stateside, there's a reason there's not many exit polls:

"According to our latest exit poll numbers, Fuckoff has a 27% lead over Pissoff, with Gotohell trailing."

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Walmart tells developers to stay away from AWS

Captain DaFt
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Re: There are alternatives

"You have alternatives and your choices are getting richer every day."

Is that another dig at Oracle's pricing? And you work for them? Brave!

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Google, Mozilla both say they sped up the web today. One by blocking ads. One with ads

Captain DaFt
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Re: Hmm

"Looking even further ahead, build some kind of ad server into the phone, which downloads targetted ads in advance when plugged into the mains and using wifi, and delivers them effortlessly during the day when you are on battery and a mobile connection."

There's a word for that.

If I discover any device in my possession doing that, it will immediately become very tiny bits of ex-device!

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Microsoft admits to disabling third-party antivirus code if Win 10 doesn't like it

Captain DaFt
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Re: Sod it

"time to dust off my old Amiga"

Ugh, if you think Microsoft is a pain to deal with, try dealing with the half dozen or so* competing companies that allegedly support Amiga Software/hardware these days. It's enough to drive you to doing computing on clay tablets with cuneiform!

*The number is always changing due to lawsuits, bankruptcies, buy outs, and just plain disappearing with with your money.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Microsoft: from vindictive to cack-handed...

"The Ballmer era gave us Windows XP and Windows 7"

Plus Windows ME and Vista, Linux FUD and the Business Software Alliance goon squad.

Buuuut, we were always at war with Oceania, right? ☺

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Captain DaFt
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Re: "It is amazing that companies still use Windows,"

"But Amber Rudd said there isn't a magic money tree?"

If you had one, would you admit it?

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Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver THOUSANDS of grocery orders

Captain DaFt
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"I detect a sixth sense...."

As in: "I see unfed people"?

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Samsung's 'Magician' for SSDs can let crims run evil code

Captain DaFt
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Re: Stupid is as stupid does

"It boggles my grey matter that companies of this size are still making silly security mistakes."

It's my observation that the bigger the company, the more they adhere to the mantra: "Do it cheap, deliver it yesterday, fix it someday." that tends to produce results like this.

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Intel: Joule's burned, Edison switched off, and Galileo – Galileo is no more

Captain DaFt
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Hardly unexpected

looking at the specs for the discontinued tat, it almost seems like Intel thought they could conquer the small board market by releasing bigger, more powerful boards in a market wanting small, power sipping ones.

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Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet

Captain DaFt
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Re: Only 1 million?

"Hmm, I don't know. Can we handle a war with mightily pissed off Martians?"

So you're saying that fossilized bacteria will reanimate and crash evolve into interplanetary warriors if we send Trump to Mars?

Geez, he's bad, but not quite that bad... I hope!

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Not optimal ...

"You never have to clean solar panels on the lunar surface, because there's nothing to blow the dust on them."

You sure about that?

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Brit uni blabs students' confidential information to 298 undergrads

Captain DaFt
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-that when I reply "Two days, including testing, once I've finished this epic piece of coding I'll get straight onto it for you." I get "I could do that in Excel in, like, an hour".-

"Then why are you pestering me for it, then?"

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Insert coin: Atari retro console is coming back

Captain DaFt
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"Atari confirmed on Friday that the reborn biz will indeed produce its own games console, understood to be built out of PC tech."

It might work if...

They slap a decently spec'd PC game computer in a nostalgia based case, include mame software and games and retro controllers.

Plays the latest games for PC, plus all (eh, most) the old Atari stuff. Could be a hit, if they're lucky.

Sure, you could do it yourself, but to a lot of gamers out there, this would tick a lot of boxes if done right.

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Look who's joined the anti-encryption posse: Germany, come on down

Captain DaFt
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Re: New forms of "encryption" introduced EVERY DAY

"The bad guys will assume that you are reading the mail, and work something else out."

Well, I'm no evil genius, and here's what I came up with off the top of my head:

Use emojis as code characters and send messages in Mayan script.*

At least that way, those annoying little pictograms would actually be useful! ☺

*Seriously, give that page a read. Those Mayans really knew how to obfuscate their text!

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Hahahahah

"when (not if) they lose control of that backdoor."

That when will be a very short time.

No need to look for exploits when you know there's a door built in, just look for that!

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Banking websites are 'littered with trackers' ogling your credit risk

Captain DaFt
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Re: I think we need to know...

"I'm sure there are men out there getting ads for pregnancy testing kits."

Back when I got lots of spam, Breast enhancement spam ran neck and neck with \/iagra spam.

I guess my lack of personal info on the web caused them to hedge their bets. ☺

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but Microsoft's 'Ms Pac-Man beating AI' is more Automatic Idiot

Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't see problem with hard-coded knowldge

No problem.

But the babies will go through life expanding their knowledge beyond their original instincts.

This 'AI' is like the maze robot that's just hardwired to turn 90 degrees left when it encounters a wall. It navigates the maze, but learns nothing.

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Disney mulls Mickey Mouse magic material to thwart pirates' 3D scans

Captain DaFt
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Think misdirection about the real purpose of the additive.

I don't think it's real purpose is to stop the counterfeiting, but a quick way to spot the non distorting counterfeits.

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Marissa! Mayer! out! as! Yahoo!-Verizon! closes!

Captain DaFt
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"The 2000 or so staff who are about to be "Resource Actioned", won't consider Mayer's reign to have been "inspiring", at all."

Oh, I'm sure she's inspired them to create a few oaths/curses/epithets of their own for her.

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It came from space! Two-headed flatworm stuns scientists

Captain DaFt
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Isn't there an old saying?

That goes something like:

"Two heads are better for worm."?

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Pizza proffer punctures privacy protection, prompts pals' perfidy

Captain DaFt
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Re: Everyone is missing the important issue here...

worse: "Pineapple!?!? I keeell you!"

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Design

"How many still think that one of Google's mantras is: "Do no evil"?"

I've always read a bit more into it:

Google: "Do no evil... because we're watching you!"

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Sharp claims Hisense reverse-ferreted its US telly licence deal

Captain DaFt
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Re: Wow

Yeah, company sells brand name to competitor to use, then is amazed when competing company trashes brand name.

The first thing they should have asked themselves was, "What would we do if the situation were reversed?"

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Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

Captain DaFt
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Forgotten already?

Not one mention The Butthole Surfers?

In the whole thread?

Really?

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Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

Captain DaFt
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Re: Arthur C. Clarke quote

"Our best hope for galactic colonisation lies with combining sub-light travel with some form of suspended animation and/or life-extension -- perhaps a ship loaded with frozen embryos to be raised by an AI at the destination. Who knows?"

Sorry, but I feel that's a bit pessimistic.

World ships, capable of carrying populations in the millions with accompanying ecosystems, moving from one icy/rocky body to the next for resources, building new ships as needed, seems an option we could do now.

A vast, expanding cloud of humanity, or post humanity, each ship in constant contact with neighboring ships.

Eventually, they'd cross the Oort cloud and reach other solar systems, in a timeframe of eons.

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We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Captain DaFt
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Re: Don't be fooled into believing otherwise.

" We're not saying we're living in a simulation ... "

"Oh yes y'all are."

Well, we are, but it's self inflicted. No outside help needed:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/MappLife.shtml

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DIY self-driving cars are closer than they appear (and we're not talking about in the mirror)

Captain DaFt
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Re: New Zealand has a much better solution

"I don't know why this hasn't caught on yet (dailymail.co.uk)"

Probably because of what happens when a squirrel crosses the road. ☺

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I fought Ohm's Law and the law won: Drone crash takes out power to Silicon Valley homes

Captain DaFt
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There's an APB out for Colonel Sanders.

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Going to Mars may give you cancer, warns doc

Captain DaFt
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Re: Its a different world

"As soon as you touch the dust it'll creep through your skin and before you know it you're a vacuum tolerant homicidal maniac."

Note to self: Pack machete and old school hockey mask for trip to Mars. ☺

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Its a different world

"They will face a number of risks, including (but not limited to) their rocket blowing up, their rocket crashing on arrival, decompression by a punctured space suit, decompression of their accommodation module, running out of oxygen or water or food, a war on Earth interrupting their supply ships, and so on and so on. If they live long enough to die of cancer they will be lucky."

*Pshaw!* All I'd need would be time enough to grab a handfull of regolith hold it up and state, "With this hand I've touched another World."

Anything past that would be extra.

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Cabinet Office minister Gummer loses seat as Tory gamble backfires

Captain DaFt
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Re: What a mess...

"Forecasts have been wrong before - in June 2016, in November 2016....."

I have a little theory that the more the average person feels that they're being monitored, the more likely they'll tell pollsters what they want to hear, but then vote the way they actually feel.

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Whisky snobs scotched by artificial tongue

Captain DaFt
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Works both ways

-"For high-end whiskies, asking prices range from €10,000 to €135,000 per bottle," the researchers write. "For this type of price, one might worry about counterfeits, but that could also apply at the low end of the quality spectrum, where large amounts of cheap alcoholic beverages and low-quality counterfeits are sold as branded scotch."-

Unfortunately, I can see this very device being used to help 'tweak' the counterfeit booze so it'll pass as the real stuff.

"The machine's chart says if we add 10 microliters of Amylopectin per liter, they'll never know the difference!"

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US spook-sat buzzed the International Space Station

Captain DaFt
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Re: Those remote workers...

Nah, just a miscommunication back at the spook shack:

"What? ISIS, not ISS, you idiot!"

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UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

Captain DaFt
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So in conclusion:

People are feeling oppressed, disenfranchised, and seeing no hope in the future, making them willing to follow any senile, hate-filled old coot that promises them paradise if they kill themselves and take as many others as possible.

So her (And way too many other cowardly 'leaders') solution is more oppression, leading to more dis-enfranchisement, and making the future outlook even bleaker...

[Eye-roll measures 6.6 on the Richter scale]

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Captain DaFt
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"And I want it done by teatime next Thursday... I have an election to win don't you know..."

Pardon... But you misspelled 'lose' there.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Book stores.

"Does the idiot woman realize how bloody stupid she sounds?"

Not a chance. In her mind the Internet is more scary and foreign than any terrorist, so it must be the cause of the problem!

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Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

Captain DaFt
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Re: MS Mobiles or Smoke Signals

-“Today was a great exercise in our whole team coming together to solve a singular problem,” Sarkar tweeted yesterday.-

A problem that would have never existed if they'd done their job correctly in the first place.

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