* Posts by Teiwaz

2371 posts • joined 19 Oct 2011

Zuckerberg gets a night off: Much-hyped Euro grilling was all smoke, absolutely no heat

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Ha

@ Teiwaz

Aww didums. Show me on this map where the UK hurt you.

I've this pain in the neck I'd like to go away.....

0
2
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Ha

There is no use in crying that the UK is seen as irrelevant

Be even more irrelevant when it stands alone.

2
3
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Perhaps we need to

watch cat videos.

The others might be, but that's certainly not a Facebook exclusive.

Cats have more sense than be restricted to one medium, they've a better marketing board, only humans are stupid enough to allow one corp to monopolise their communication channels.

0
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Did anyone really except anything different?

The rant was to counter the oft-held notion that the EU is some glorious club fighting tirelessly for the rights of the little man.

Hardly, but still think everyone in the UK would be better off in than out.

Checks and Balances as the Americans (U.S) like to say. The U.K gov (or all of Europe) least likes Europe, be it EHCR EU or ECJ sticking it's continental nose in.

How it must gall them that their 'Snoopers' legislation keeps getting declared illegal and them having to actually do something about it, when clearly the United Kingdom is worth three United Europes. [where's the sarcasm icon].

The Italians used to like Europe as they thought it kept their politicians in line, we're about to learn the same lesson soon enough - I give it twenty years, if that.

5
3

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: but-

No - you're thinking of his sister, Janet"

Personally, I've not done that since the 80's.

Thinking? I've tried to avoid that too recently on medical advice.

2
0

GDPR for everyone, cries Microsoft: We'll extend Europe's privacy rights worldwide

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Gah! you are a dupe!

I apologise to any lowlife libertarians whose precious feelings were hurt by this.

Don't bother apologising, they are a 'Goldstein' delusion by to target your ire toward 'whomever' by those who are really exploiting you.

And 'liberty' is not something they think you should have, so they've built a maze with illusionary cheese and 'scary libertarian cats' to direct you down the paths they want you to follow.

1
1

Within Arm's reach: Chip brains that'll make your 'smart' TV a bit smarter

Teiwaz
Silver badge

security cameras waking up and recording as soon as someone enters view, saving power and storage space until when it's necessary. Also start playing ads when an 'audience' is detected.

Digital or so-called smart TVs that automatically pause when you stand up to pop to the kitchen, and play again when you return and sit down And If I get up to adjust my trouser region and a bit of a man-scratch?

or blank the screen if a kid wanders into the room when you're watching something primarily for adults.

I'd honestly prefer it to blank on modern kids programs when an adult enters the room too a) so the 'wee bastards' have no excuse not to pay attention b) Having seen what passes for kids programs these days, it's just drivel I'd rather not have to make sense of.

As to everything having cameras? Not bloody likely, it'll be tape or poked out with a sharp implement.

0
0

UK digital committee fumes: You didn't answer our questions, Facebook. (Psst. EU. Pass 'em on)

Teiwaz
Silver badge

British MPs will ask the really tough questions

Well, that is clearly wishful thinking or self-delusion.

Chances are they'll be several 'will my iphone need an upgrade?' questions by MPs who've staggered in from the bar, and will stagger back again afterwards with the undeserved inflated ego feeling that they've asked some probing questions and made a contribution and that it didn't tax their brain as much as they thought it might so they must have a knack for this 'IT' thing.

5
2

The future of radio may well be digital, but it won't survive on DAB

Teiwaz
Silver badge

How did that gobshite get on [the airwaves], is he never off the air....?

Except that after a while you realise that you don't have any new music, because you're only listening to the stuff you bought & ripped years ago.

I found, not long into my thirties, I didn't really care for 'the new music', Never been a radio user. Might be the odd track when I tune in while driving, but the next song, or the song after that will inevitably make me want to either re-tune, turn-off or rip the stereo from the dash and fling it out the window in disgust.

My tastes are far too obscure for radio to cater to (even today with a million and one channels on the internet, I can still find nothing I don't want to nuke, irradiate and sow the ground with salt on after a couple of tracks).

3
7

Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

Still left lots of room for 'Hitlers brain' theories though.....

4
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Um… Why?

@45RPM. No doubt you'll find out in twenty or thirty years, but also if someone were to (say for lack of a better example) took offence to your ignorance and smashed out most of your front teeth in a freak bicycling accident at a nunnery during a St. Stephens day carwash jumble sale and bake-off, a dentist might give you a set of dentures to fill in the missing fronties, hence you'd still have your own and false teeth.

As to people voting for idiots not learning from history, from what I've noted, a lot of people don't have any interest in history longer than their lifetimes. If it happened before they were born, it can't be of any interest as they are the centre of their universe, and that spinning top has trouble comprehending anything outside their spin.

28
0

'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Teiwaz
Silver badge

I'm still carting my Nokia 900 around, after that, maybe a dumb phone (if such are still available)

Pretty sure we've gone down the wrong trouserleg earlier in the decade (it's probably the Auditors again) and I'm still waiting for the universe to self-correct.

6
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Computer Misuse Act 1990 s1:

That's a UK statute (or whatever IANAL OCBB) FB have already shown their disdain for 'Her Majestys Government'.

7
1

EU considers baking new norms of cyber-war into security policies

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: ...and Microsoft?

Gates invented the Internet so they would understand the necessary hashtags

I have a suspicion Rudd resigned to get away from comments like that

6
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Good luck with that

Wow. They really don't understand war, do they? It's basically an "unpleasant effect on civilians" by definition.

More so in the last century or so than earlier when mostly* all they had to worry is a new overlord with an axe to grind or being called up by the local lord for cannonfodder/press-ganged/drafted when the armies would meet on 'the field of battle'.

Kind of like how it used to be considered good form to take pub fights outside first.

* Except when invaders laid siege to towns and punitively massacred everyone for making them sit outside for months.

4
1

Astronaut took camera on spacewalk, but forgot SD memory card

Teiwaz
Silver badge

An Astronaut, not a Rocket Engineer.

He wasn't right?

I know they're mostly trying put scientists up now rather than Top Gun types (argh, that awful movie).

0
2

10 social networks ignored UK government consultations

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: I have only one thing to say...

And if Facebook doesn't get into the porn industry

I thought they already were, It spaffs peoples privates at me constantly, not allowed near it at work and I feel intense shame of even thinking about going near it.

Same thing, whether pink danglies are involved or not

1
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Magic machine.

Even if such a magic machine were possible, can you imagine the size of the thing? It'd never be finished being built!

Whether or not it could be built (and whether or not, as a government I.T. project it could be built, which has a much more complex set of probabilities, but generally can be summarised as "no, no, fail, fail, lob another couple of billion tax money on the bonfire then scrap it until after next election"), such practicalities are not of any interest to the current political crop.

If they decide they wants it, it must be made to happen, and they'll keep on harping about it until they either get it or changes in technology/society/nefarious agenda result in a change in tack.

5
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge
Coat

Re: I have only one thing to say...

I don't know how... They've nailed it with the pr0n verification, this is surely just a bit of scope creep to that project...

They've nailed pron verification?

That's already a serious air crash of Lockerbie proportions (yes, bad taste, hence 'coat'), it's just the airplane's not finished yet, but they're already thinking about boarding while congratulating themselves on another safe flight and lining up exciting new routes, but thousands (possibly tens of thousands) are already hideously burned, it just hasn't happened yet.

8
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Pray tell us

Facebook (also owns Instagram and Whatsapp)

Twitter

Oath (owns AOL, Tumblr, and Yahoo!)

Bebo

Snap Chat

Blackberry Messenger

Google Plus

Is that list from a couple of years ago?

I wasn't even aware Bebo was still going? And you left out LinkedIn - it's getting more annoying than FB (and if you are of working age, harder to ignore).

9
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: "should use AI . ."

What I find interesting is the "social sites should police themselves" attitude. Neatly allows you to wash your hands of the issue, doesn't it ?

Nonsense. They know perfectly well that's not going to fly.

The object here is to hopefully push it until it becomes a (flawed) reality, then use the failure as an excuse to implement further censorship/blocking/report abusive material - shop in your neighbours, [facebook] friends and family (fabulous prizes to be won) 'for the public good'.

4
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: "And after all, these companies were set up to make the world a better place"

Now that statement is either political naivete at it's most dangerous or a really ham-fisted attempt at spin.

The Culture Secretary said that?

Are we absolutely sure it's not a line from Forrest Gump?

22
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: "rapid removal of abusive and objectionable material"

Why? No matter how you vote, its always the government that gets in.

Well, that's not particularly profound.

And neither really is the disappointing reality that's it's usually the same type of numpties standing for election every time.

It's like having only one local store which only sells a couple of brands of sour milk, and you can't take it or leave it as it's delivered to your door and poured on your cereal anyway.

15
3
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Be interesting to see who did turn up, would it not?

So that's "Making Britain stronger" as one of my British friends put it when they voted Leave.

Apparently, Europe are going to realise they need the UK and accede to all Brexit wishlist demands

Or so most the Cabinet seem to believe anyway.

30
4

Your parents love you, Cortana. That's why we bought you an upgrade

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Future appointment with a long drop

its goal is conversational AI

I think that was the goal of Talkie Toaster too.

2
0

Now that's old-school cool: Microsoft techies slap Azure Sphere IoT chip in an Altair 8800

Teiwaz
Silver badge

"Microsoft is all about backwards-compatibility"

Why then, was it running on a 'Linux variant?

When Microsoft started it was mostly all about 'buy it in',now it's borrowed.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue - wayhay!, microsoft can get married, which is apropriate, you'd have to pay me a dowry to use that old maid of a Desktop....

4
5

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: We need some ...

And of course the obligatory signs warning people that hot water comes out of the hot tap - who'd have thought!

Quite a common one, and obviously covering health and safety and trying to prevent scalding 'accidents' and subsequent 'opportunistic' claims...

What boggles my mind, is the number of places I've seen the warning yet running the tap for up to ten minutes produces no hot water whatsoever - convinced it's some sort of zen or a version of 'beware of the dog' when there isn't one (or it was put down years ago).

24
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: It's not a sink

Well, I would't want to wash my hands in the Arctic Basin....bit far away and cold (I would think).

[Monty] Python : 'Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan.'

11
0

John McAfee ‘goes underground’ in motorcade to flee SEC

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: "could apply to almost any state since the dawn of history"

Especially because back then they actually built pyramids and stash gold inside of them!

Sort of debatable that, perhaps all the gold was looted from the Pyramids long, long ago, but they also lack the murals undisturbed royal tombs had.

What I choked on, was that 'CEOs' were too scared to divulge the alleged 'big' 'illuminati' (or whatever) 'pyramid' conspiracy - I'd have thought CEOs were quite 'pyramid power' oriented (just not the 'crystals and mystic 'pyramid power').

If the U.S. is 'suddenly' run by a pyramid sect - surely that the ediface in question is on the money should be long running hint.

I think he's been driven mad by staring at notes too much - he should give it all to charity (or me) and become a bum (and / or) an alcoholic (or start / fund an internet conspiracy site).

1
0

Zero arrests, 2 correct matches, no criminals: London cops' facial recog tech slammed

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Surely though

i wonder what the rate is for a divining rod?

At those odds, probably the same or better (much better, once found a lost ring in a large field with a set).

6
1
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Surely though

A real person looking through those 50 photos will probably be able to very quickly discount the majority of them leaving only a small number requiring investigation.

Unfortunately that's not how most I.T. is applied in the real world - As soon as the kit is installed and in regular use, it's very likely to be a case of 'Computer has fingered him/her/them, round the lot of them up and we'll sort it out back at the station...eventually, maybe.'

8
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Minor point

£35k a year, to sift through photographs.

Yep, criminal.

Nope, not a criminal,

Nope, not a criminal.

They'll be 'hopefully' resurrecting the 'science' of Physiognomy.

Nope, not at all setting up an online course... £800 for a month, exciting new career beckons, ....followed by hanging from a tree Pink Gabriel when the 'horse' bolts....

2
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

The alternative is real human Police presence, but that's expensive and moderately risky (more in the insurance risk area, than lives, because it's money that's at stake). /jaded cynic

Facial recognition tech is just one of those wet dreams they couldn't and can't pass up, no matter how many stat reports say it doesn't work.

The 'a.i.' maybe agnostic, it's also apparently just as unintelligent as the people trying to apply it.

Nothing particularly agnostic about where it's been applied, nor the blind faith by which it's been repeatedly applied.

6
0

Did I say Chinese jobs? I meant American jobs says new Trump Tweet

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Art of the Deal

Was it not Trump who stated that they needed to "drain the swamp" as per Washington DC ?

That's because everyone misunderstood Donalds intent RE: Swamp

i.e He wants to drain it and build a nice lucrative themed resort there.

It's the only association he knows.....

Seemingly he's also surrounded by devout christians who've managed to remain blind to the 'moneylenders in the temple' (parable?) - I guess they are too intent trying to get the middle east to explode in the hopes of triggering the end-times....

....nutters the lot of them.

4
0

Wah, encryption makes policing hard, cries UK's National Crime Agency

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Ridiculous!

Cue intro to 'Judge Death' storyline...

1
0

German IKEA trip fracas assembles over trolley right of way

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Don't have the Aldi rice pudding

There are several near me (and about as many Asda),

Why anyone would suffer long queues in Aldi if there's an alternative is beyond me, especially after trying the rice pudding *

* label scarily close to the label of a quality tinned custard product, but is actually filled with a milky substance with about a half handful of rice - should actually be labelled 'milky soup'.

3
1

Ubuntu sends crypto-mining apps out of its store and into a tomb

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Got to give this punk some credit.

I'm with thames on this,

I'm on Archlinux.

SWAP sees absolutely no usage whatsoever.

0
0

You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Probably mentioned already but

@ Simon Harris: My mother always threatened that if I misbehaved she'd 'pull my pants down and smack my bottom... even if we were in the middle of the shop'. (that was the early 1970s when that sort of thing was still allowed!)

Can you please assure us that you were under (say) 5 at the time and not rather older?

And if you were good, did you get 'bitty'?

1
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

I read that as....

I only watch 1970's porn that had the instruments that never quite made it onto Starsky and hutch

I thought, 'what an odd choice of slang term', and 'could there have been a racier version of Starsky and Hutch I didn't previously know about....?'

3
0

Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: ID Cards and enforced bio-metrics

You have mobile phones, CCTV and all kinds of sensors and systems tracking you automatically -- and you are still terrified of ID cards?

You think they won't have mobile phone type chips on them within 5 years (definitely always on), and it'd be easier to get legislation through on a requirement to always carry than to get one insisting people carry a phone at all times.

2
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Time for his retirement

Clearly going bonkers, so a Lordship is in the offing...

1
0

Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Hang the UX designer

Agreed, I hate controls which are invisible until you happen to mouse over them!

Those are bad. The ones that remain invisible even when you mouse over them are worse.

Exactly who thought that was a good idea...?

Turn you work OS into a DVD menu easter egg experience...

4
0

US Congress finally emits all 3,000 Russian 'troll' Facebook ads. Let's take a look at some

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: Decades of experience

The overwhelming majority of VOTERS have got decades of experience of political promises. I don't think that childern are being considered here...

Maybe, but looking at decades of election results, it appears the decades of experience is in being herded down the same track time and time again.

I'd suggest those who get on the bandwagons with glee every election do so for the 'high' that comes with electric short-circuiting of the brain when normal life falls into the backstage for the promise of radical change.

Council/comittee type elections don't really tap into that cult of the personality theme as readily as a leadership contest though.

It's kind of King-ship rite - It's enough to make you wish for some form of anarcho-cyniclist commune.

9
1

Yay for Nvidia, GPU giant report decent first quarter results despite recent setbacks

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Nvidia still sucks...

...on 'Linux though.

0
0

It's Galileo Groundhog Day! You can keep asking the same question, but it won't change the answer

Teiwaz
Silver badge

The cheaper (optimistic) option...

There aren't any nice people there....unless you back it up with cash...then they're all nice.

Pack the satellites in the boots of Teslas and leave them on Elon Musks driveway.

5
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: "[My] iPhone will be picking up Galileo and GPS at the same time - will that need an upgrade?"

I don't think that's particularly fair - outside of tech communities

He's not a member of the general public.

He should at least be sent to the naughty corner or given a dunce cap - it's an elementary question that could have been answered with some simple research.

He should learn to use his phone rather than just wave it about. Should have done some homework and not come straight from the subsidised bar to wave his phone about like a dick, then he might have thought about and asked some pertinent questions from the available expert and not something elementary.

11
0
Teiwaz
Silver badge

We don't like to be seen as a second class country. America, Russia and the EU have their GPS systems while we are scrabbling for crumbs like every other third-country.

Which is, of course, the main reason the EU is building Galileo, it doesn't want to be seen as living off US and Russian crumbs. Better to beggar taxpayers by duplicating systems than be seen as third-rate power.

Crumbs? Combined with 'Russia' or 'America' neither really sound appetizing or healthy - I'd heartily recommend cooking up something yourself, which is what the EU is doing.

The UK are only thinking of getting into the kitchen 'cause they are miffed at not being allowed in a members only restaurant any more despite cancelling their membership and throwing a stropand insisting they still be allowed to use the lav.

27
1
Teiwaz
Silver badge

Jerusalem

For Queen, Country and St George. We may have lost our empire but, by God's divine hand and grace, we will have that British constellation above us, above everyone. Huzza!

Just don't break into Jerusalem, we don't want to confuse a jumpy Iran, we might have a few missiles headed our way.

10
0

Brit govt told to do its homework ahead of talks over post-Brexit spy laws and data flows

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Once it leaves, this protection is removed, and the controversial Investigatory Powers Act – which has been ruled unlawful under EU law – will be part of considerations on whether to grant an adequacy deal.

Basically line-up a few fall-guys for D.P Minister (or whatever*) to catch the flack as poorly amended bill after lazily amended bill gets rammed through trying to amend RIPA hoping at some point the EU will marginally accept it.

* or maybe not Home Office Minister seems to come with 'brass neck' in job description.

5
0

Google's socially awkward geeks craft socially awkward AI bot that calls people for you

Teiwaz
Silver badge

Re: SPAM Robo-Callers Are In L♥ve With Artificial Imposters (AI)

Neo-Ludditism becomes a craze.

Neo-Ludditism is the only sane response....

Speech recognition climbing above 90%

- Not if you have a regional accent.

6
1

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018