* Posts by Teiwaz

1704 posts • joined 19 Oct 2011

US govt to use software to finger immigrants as potential crims? That's really dumb – boffins

Teiwaz
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Fingering now is it?

Up 'til now it was just a feel up or a pat down for most when entering the land of the free.

And people think I'm a perv???

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The Reg parts ways with imagineer and thought pathfinder Steve Bong

Teiwaz
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Fake News

All in good fun, but that is how it starts.

One can still be pretentious while also being ironic

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It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Teiwaz
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Re: Sign me up for one

I was thinking along the lines of gas and electricity salespeople.......

You aren't allowed to gas electricity salespeople.

Or use gas and electricity on salespeople.

'Electric fence' the doorbell?

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Teiwaz
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Re: A lot of reference to wing-nuts

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Re: A lot of reference to wing-nuts

Not so flimsy.

Fun clip...

But that's a research prototype, hand crafted with love, dedication and high ideals.

Wait 'til the mass market version, when it's nothing more than a 'subsisted price' vehicle for the likes of Google and Amazon to track and influence spending.

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Teiwaz
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A lot of reference to wing-nuts

We all should have gathered by now that when the 'exciting' robot enhanced and assisted future finally arrives...

- It will be flimsy and plastic and scratch easily and yet be almost immediately smeared with fingerprints.

- Glued together mainly to prevent customer maintenance or investigation into just how many microphones and data gathering sensors are onboard tracking the customer.

- Be hailed by advertising and the sponsored reviews and fanboi cadre as the smartest yet, but still manage to be almost immediately frustrating and annoying.

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'It's back to the drawing board...' Innocent axions found not guilty of dark matter crimes

Teiwaz
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Coat

Axions were not axioms after all...

...Hey I'm not an academic...

I don't so much have a 'field of expertise' as a marshy bit at the bottom of the garden.

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How about that time Russian military used a video game pic as proof of US aiding ISIS?

Teiwaz
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Re: Jesus Toast

And what about all these Jesus pictures, images and toast ? Are they Fake News too ?

Wut?

People are seeing Jesus in toast?

Or is it just and advertising gimmick by the Turin margarine company?

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Google says broader right to be forgotten is 'serious assault' on freedom

Teiwaz
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Assault on Freedom??? Google??

Are they entirely without self-reflection?

What am I saying...they are a vampire company, largely parasitic.

Them and facebook.

What about the right to be free from being tracked across the internet (and the planet).

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Yes, I took Putin's roubles to undermine Western democracy. This is my story

Teiwaz
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Paris Hilton

Where is Susannah York?

Ludicrous...

But strangely believable.

Makes me feel either the entire world is mad or I've been on drugs since the mid-90's.

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Q: Why are you running in the office? A: This is my password for El Reg

Teiwaz
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Coat

What about the exception factor?

Will your phone still recognise your gait if you are masterbating while running for a bus?

You shouldn't masterbate while running for a bus, but if the bus is coming, and so are you...

(apologies to John Sparks for mangling that great Frank Hovis sketch from 'Absolutely')

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TalkTalk sees red after chucking £75m on restructuring bonfire

Teiwaz
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''Beleagered'???

Not how I'd describe Talk Talk in any state.

I'd save it for the low level staff working for this organisation managed by monkeys.

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Ads watchdog tells Plusnet: There's no way unlimited business broadband costs £4.50

Teiwaz
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described as having a "higher level of competence and knowledge than a typical consumer"

That is such an cheesy and arrogant defence, using fancy words to state they thought their general non business customer was stupid so it was ok to flagrantly mislead rather than only slightly mislead.

Why not spell out their adverts so the 'children' or pet animals can't understand.

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MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

Teiwaz
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Vote now?

he said he was sick of this Brexit thing and switched over,

I know a few people with that attitude. Despite their talk, they never bothered to go out and vote.

I know too many who professed wanting to stay in the EU, none of them bothered to vote either.

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Boffins on alert: Brace yourselves for huge gravitational wave coming within a decade

Teiwaz
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Re: In other words,

Any chance of building a giant surf board ark to get off the planet - we've left it too late for a B-Ark as at this point we're outnumbered.

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Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Teiwaz
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Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

While Bombadil is deeply annoying what actually IS he?

I've always gotten him confused with Tom of Finland....

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Teiwaz
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Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

Oh wait, Sony TV are already ahead of Amazon there.

Yeah, but it'll only be of interest to those into the spanking fetish scene...

I'm kind of looking forward to it.

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Brit cops slammed for failing to give answers on digital device data slurpage

Teiwaz
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Re: BBW?

BBW?

Oh!

Not that kind of BBW!

Are you sure? Do-nuts 'n that...

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Munich council: To hell with Linux, we're going full Windows in 2020

Teiwaz
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Re: To install software on Linux I type

You may be doing it wrong.

May? Look at the inappropriate use of CAPS, of course he'd be incompatible with a case sensitive O.S.

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IBM asks remaining staff to take career advice from HR-bot

Teiwaz
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Butlerian Jihad???

Future history might not mark this as the first mistake that led to the chaos to come, but merely one of the poorer choices and certainly a contributing factor...

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Audio spy Alexa now has a little pal called Dox

Teiwaz
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Re: Paranoia strikes deep in the heartland

Luddites?

Definitely an age thing.

Anything that exists before you were born is just how the world works.

Anything invented up until you turn thirty is new and exciting and you can probably get a career in it.

Anything invented after you thirties is against the natural order of things.

Douglas Adams (not a direct quote)

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Teiwaz
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Windows

Re: Sigh

"I absolutely love it now."

"I live on my own"

I smell correlation.

So do I, but I'm certainly not interest in talking to a shopping centre. I'm single, not crazy

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Teiwaz
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Re: Sigh

After Christmas I'll be scouring eBay for another 3 to put around the house.

I can only think 'sad lonely sod.'

Accept your lot in life and get six or seven cats...

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Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Teiwaz
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Re: Sausage roll in a manger

Better than a mangy sausage roll.

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Teiwaz
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Re: Santa

Norse Demi-godess

Someone still has their monotheistic superstitions switched on....

Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

Not a demi-goddess, just because norse mythology doesn't have the same academic gravitas as the classical mythologies.

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Stop your moaning, says maker of buggy Bluetooth sex toy

Teiwaz
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Re: Any action from this comment is NSFW

Tipping has distinct sounds depending on value

So you are suggesting either

a) this audio recording is a feature intended for the 'professional' 'business end'.

b) the company intends to monetise its products users in some way, offering the chance to reward with 'tips' instead of likes.

a) sounds rather unrealistic for (a), a professional version would make more ense.

b) sounds like a step to far. Even given exhibitionist tendencies, I doubt such an innovative social network would survive the first moral outrage.

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Teiwaz
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This is nonsense

Honestly; a chat app added to controller for s/w for a sex toy???

This is exactly the kind of flesh eating disorder that will eventually cause the fall of civilisation.

If not nipped now (well after the bud unfortunately), sooner or later someone is going to decide a chat app or some other 'social' idiocy is required in some life or death piece of software like a nuclear power plant, introducing vulnerabilities or odd behaviour.

This is all down to the death of the KISS principle.

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Greenhouse gas-sniffing satellite to be built and tested in Britain

Teiwaz
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Re: The results will be meaningless

so the Green priesthood rebranded it so as not to look so much like fools.

Dude, your position might be more believable if it wasn't also held by the type that think 'God made the world perfect'.

Granted, the whole climate thing is amply illustrated by the Carbon Neutral thing which became an insurance payment or somesuch 'touchstone' to with all the realworld impact of a catholic confessional. Partly for ease of conscience but mostly and advertising gimmick to placate the middle class and idly concerned.

Don't confuse those trying to make a quick buck off anything with genuine scientists actually trying.

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Microsoft president says the world needs a digital Geneva Convention

Teiwaz
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Re: yet another meaningless symbolic gesture

[no names here but his initials are B.O.

Jeez Bob, is that only when it came to your attention Nobel prizes were now given out like honorary degrees???

Take a gander at the list of the buttered up well after the N.I. Good Friday agreement....

These days former Presidents with one is practically a formality.

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Android at 10: How Google won the smartphone wars

Teiwaz
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Re: Horsecrap

Android gets monthly patches, delivered in a timely manner to 1st party devices, (if you were stupid enough to buy 2nd party, or even 3rd paty device, that is not Google, nor Android's fault).

Sheesh, do Google employees have nothing better to do....?

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Online outrage makes Logitech drop a brick: Now it will replace slain Harmony Link gizmos

Teiwaz
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Someone has to dig at MS in a completely unrelated article?

Well, to be fair. There were all those Windows RT devices and Windows Phones that got brought out with lots of pomp and promises and then dropped quicker than a celeb with a sex offence charge.

Usually, firms seem just to get away with encouraging consumers to buy 'the future' only for the poor invester to find out a couple of months down the line it was an '8-track' they bought.

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The day I almost pinned my tushie as a Google Maps landmark

Teiwaz
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First, I'm a bloke. This makes me 99.9%* more likely to be an offender than a victim. That's just the way it is. Dirty boys. Little wonder.

Also not a politiican (plus the ocassional celebrity) - there's been a few caught out having dispatched images of their members (from the back benches).

* 99.9% of...

Doing the Revenge Porn thing

Having a nudie of an X-partner in your possession.

Or merely having a hard disk or 3 full of young ladies with not much on...?

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Harry Potter to get the Pokémon GO treatment

Teiwaz
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Joke

Re: Working as a group

"Whats this mania for making games social?"

I've a great idea for a game with strong social elements that will help sharpen both team building, management skills and elements of the security profession.

object is to build up an 'empire' of real world contacts and dispatch them on various locations on 'errands'.

There is a strong likelihood of good virtual and real-world currency usage.

It's called 'Pimp'.

Just like poke-mon, only the phrase 'upside your head' gets used more.

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Teiwaz
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Re: If the occult is a problem ...

"Christianity has a rich borrowed mythology" ftfy

It <e>is</e> a rich and creative riffing off of multiple earlier sources (mostly Mithras, with extra S&M).

Thankfully it got in before copyright existed, otherwise Disney would be on their tales for multiple IP theft.

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Samsung shows off Linux desktops on Galaxy smartmobes

Teiwaz
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Re: Still waiting

unfortunately no one released Windows version of them.

Manufacturers dodged a lemon there, given the tepid commitment from MS.

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The NAKED truth: Why flashing us your nude pics is a good idea – by Facebook's safety boss

Teiwaz
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Re: Worrying about people seeing pictures of me naked in the wild rather than just one FB staffer

Amusing, and good point.

either medical professionals or going to need some form of help

What with devaluation in 'privacy' regarding medical records, possibly both at some point.

Chances are, the job offers from Freak Shows might be in the offing.

Of course, if this sounds like an exciting opportunity in showbiz.....Congratulations.

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Irish priests told to stop bashing bishops

Teiwaz
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Re: no helpline required

"sending thoughts and prayers"

Having grown up in N.I during the troubles, saw this message too much.

One lunacy or the other, there was little else to do but 'appeal for calm', another favourite, in the hopes of preventing another round of tit-for-tat.

Both phrases over-used, while meant well, are a clear sign of a robotic automatic response. Something that should never be, has become a part of everyday life.

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Not even ordering pizza is safe from the browser crypto-mining scourge

Teiwaz
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Re: Trust?

So, how does the accidental erasing of $300 million of crypto-dosh affect trust in all other crypto-currencies? We shall find out.

Might be all part of the fun, if you are a huge Snakes & Ladders fan

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Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

Teiwaz
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Re: No mention of any action against the sender

You can't really buy car bombs off the internet, and if you think you can, you're as gullible as this idiot.

If I imagined a 'car bomb' for sale, I can kind of see the item supplied 'with car included'

So maybe he just wanted the car....

I mean, I've bought computers with a supplied operating system I didn't really want....

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Teiwaz
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Re: Improvised Marketing Term to defend the defence industry.

"Improvised" was probably the first appropriate word that came to mind when some ATO was writing up his report.

Hmm, I'd buy that if I hadn't heard almost identical phrasing a lot in quoted in news items.

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Teiwaz
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Re: Improvised Marketing Term to defend the defence industry.

"improvised this that and the other"

Sounds like preparing the ground for possible future official use of such devices.

'improvised' isn't a word that springs to mind when you've mail ordered something.

If I ordered a part for my car, and the invoice used the word 'improvised' I'd be looking to return it.

People should just not put up with shoddy commerce.

Funnily, Wnidows RT springs to mind...

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Teiwaz
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Re: Just goes to show...

How desperate the secularists are to advance their doctrine by any means. And as always, religion gets the blame.

Umm, your meaning is not clear. You can be religious and still secular. Most Catholics in the world are considered secular, only those in orders like priests, monks, nuns are not.

secular

adjective

1.

not connected with religious or spiritual matters.

"secular buildings"

synonyms: non-religious, lay, non-church, temporal, worldly, earthly, profane; More

2.

CHRISTIAN CHURCH

(of clergy) not subject to or bound by religious rule; not belonging to or living in a monastic or other order.

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US domestic, er, foreign spying bill progresses through Congress

Teiwaz
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Re: Disappointing, and there is no way Trump is going to veto this bill

My only consolation...

So it really doesn't matter who you vote for?

Even in the over-exagerrated and dangerously charged political rivalry that currently exists in the US.

How is that in any way consoling?

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Facebook's send-us-your-nudes service is coming to UK, America

Teiwaz
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Re: I don't get it

Isn't FB really prudish already, to the point that they've banned breastfeeding pix and the like?

Of course. It's an American site. I'm not saying Americans don't have healthy depictions of nudity, but that the exploititive depictions swamped those almost as soon as the liberalisation* of the sixties came in.

* apologies to all US citizens offended by the use of 'liberal', but other parts of the planet have other ideas what it means.

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Teiwaz
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"they're not storing the image"

Sure, like you don't store everything f*cking else.

Even if they actually don't (even by 'process failure'), you could be fairly sure some gov agency will be

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Better filters won't cure this: YouTube's kids nightmare

Teiwaz
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70's disturbing TV

I somehow doubt any of these alleged disturbing videos could be more disturbing than 1970's RTE output aimed at children...

Then there's UK TV Fingermouse....

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Teiwaz
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Tom & Jerry

Like it as a 'wee nipper'...

But as I got older, it was to Daffy or Bugs as Swap Shop was to Tiswas or Mighty Mouse to Danger Mouse.

Less said about Tom & Jerry Kids the better....

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Teiwaz
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Re: Happy tree friends

Happy tree friends

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Tree_Friends

this is all just like Happy Tree Friends but instead of being aimed at adults its being distributed on a kids entertainment platform.

If you are not familiar with cult adult animation, you might be forgiven for passing over this one based on the title....

Reminds me of an episode of 'Bottom' where Eddie is disappointed in 'Furry Honeypot adventures' for seemingly the reverse reason.

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You know what's coming next: FBI is upset it can't get into Texas church gunman's smartphone

Teiwaz
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Re: The reports so far with some editorial....

At least back in Belfast you could have been sure a couple of altar boys would be packing Armalites

Those were for self defence.

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Google on flooding the internet with fake news: Leave us alone, we're trying really hard... *sob*

Teiwaz
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Re: Goggles

So I use Bing instead. No, it's no better, but at least I'm not feeding Google with fake confidence.

Instead, you feed Microsoft with fake confidence. Indian Giver!!

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Teiwaz
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Re: Not their job

about 20% of the adult population not only think that homosexuality should be criminalised, but also are willing to publically admit this.

I think it's the overrepresentation in TV presenter spectrum in the last ten years.

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