* Posts by Unicornpiss

1199 posts • joined 7 Oct 2011

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Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Error messages

Many error messages (even in Windows) tell you exactly what you need to do to solve the problem at hand. Instead of heeding the message to reboot, add paper to printer, enter a missing value where the glaring red line of text tells them to, they call our (only slightly less clueless) helpdesk.

These are professional people that have advanced degrees (somehow), and are responsible for product designs, safety, and the finances of a large company on which thousands are depending for their paychecks. They also drive cars, vote in elections, breed, and may even (in the USA anyway) own firearms. Many make double or triple my salary, or even more. Sometimes when I solve a problem for one of them, I get "You're a genius!" Um, no, I just apparently did better in reading comprehension when I was in grade school, and sometimes it comes down to knowing how to do a Google search if I don't understand what is going on.

All of this depresses/frightens me on a daily basis.

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Re: Why upgrade?

Agreed. All the upgrades these days are just incidental improvements to OS and styling really. The hardware boosts are like making your car go 201MPH instead of 195MPH--unless you have eagle eyes or are into hardcore gaming on a tiny screen, most people don't notice them.

I'm still using my old Galaxy S5 and will probably keep doing so until something goes wrong with it or I get sick of its comparative slowness. The camera's still good, the SD card slot and replaceable battery keep it relevant. (and the IR emitter comes in handy too)

China's really cotton'd on to this whole Moon exploration thing: First seed sprouts in lunar lander biosphere

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: It won't grow for long though

"As a matter of fact, it's all dark.."

Where's the prism and rainbow icon..

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Biologicals

"..that the rapeseed could produce oil for astronauts, potatoes could feed them, and cotton could clothe them."

And the fruit flies can annoy the crap out of them..

This isn't groundbreaking in any way, as many biological experiments of greater complexity have been conducted on the ISS, Shuttle, MIR, and probably Skylab. But since the Chinese don't have a space station or orbiter (yet), I can see why they would want to try it. And I guess claiming to be the first to grow something on the moon is worth some props. What would be useful though would be to study the effects of solar and cosmic radiation on their progeny, but I doubt they'll live long enough for radiation to be a factor in any way.

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Coat

Gently does it.. at least at first

"No doubt the military will be called upon to deploy top secret dildo jamming technology"

If you're jamming it, you're using it wrong..

It WASN'T the update, says Microsoft: Windows 7 suffers identity crisis as users hit by activation errors

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Coat

Article title..

"Activation server fiddling on day of monthly update"

Apparently fiddling while Rome burned..

Q. How exactly do you test car seats? A. With this sweaty 'robutt' that twerks for days and days

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Coat

Re: Low resolution

"Gym membership is highest in January."

Maybe so, but at least where I live, if you had a sweaty ass and went outside in January, you'd soon have a very frozen, sweaty ass.

Not to knock the seat testing. At least their method isn't half assed.

If I could turn back time, I'd tell you to keep that old Radarange at home

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Mushroom

We had one of these ovens when I was a kid..

It was built like a tank and is probably still running somewhere. The same basic design is still available I think for commercial cooking, albeit with updated digital timers and controls.

Wouldn't the oven be leaking RF or EM, causing RFI or EMI, not EMF?

Wanted – have you seen this MAC address: f8:e0:79:af:57:eb? German cops appeal for logs in bomb probe

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: Technical Details

" the first three octets describes the manufacturer."

This is well known to nearly anyone in IT (except managers and CIOs, of course) My home router even does the lookup for you and tells you what the likely manufacturer is of devices on your network.

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Alert

Re: The FBI paid him back in return for his services

He'll be safe. The wall we're going to build will keep the bad guys out.

Seriously though, I hope they extended the offer of new identities and protection for his family and friends. These are not the kind of guys that forgive or forget.

AT&T (sucks) upgrades folks to 5G (Evolution) that isn't actually 5G

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Thumb Down

Outsourcing..

"AT&T is laying off American workers and relying increasingly on a global web of low-wage contractors to provide customer service and network maintenance."

So is the company I work for, and many others. And it's despicable and reprehensible behavior. And when you're done with all that outsourcing, in a decade or so, you will no longer even have a company to call your own, much less any talent base or enterprising, loyal workers that have a clue. But some douchebags' stock will be worth a lot (for a while), and the middle class divide will open a bit wider.

Crystal ball gazers declare that Windows 10 has finally overtaken Windows 7

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Can't we all just agree..

..that there are a LOT more devices out there using the Linux kernel than anything from MS. And it will always be this way, the main reason being cost.

We may never see the "year of the Linux desktop" mostly due to sooo much software being written for Windows, and MS's effective marketing, though it may be inching closer with every Windows release and/or update that squeaks through quality control without proper testing.

Personally I use Linux most of the time, at least when I'm not at work. I just prefer an OS that doesn't nag, put form over function, or spy on me. It also uses less resources and runs quicker on my machines. YMMV.

Heard the one where the boss calls in an Oracle consultant who couldn't fix the database?

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Coat

Length..

I once had one of our young interns come in and ask me for an Ethernet cable. I was distracted and asked "How long do you need it?" He sheepishly looked at me and said "Forever?"

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

Re: Access Denied

"My experience in the late '90s was that you had to be very careful about blocking on keywords in domains. https://www.essex.ac.uk/ anyone? (Yes - a genuine example that I came across)."

Well, you'd never be able to apply for a job at Research in Motion (www.rimjobs.com)

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Pint

People scoff at the money spent..

..but the space race, and especially the moon shots, inspired at least 2 generations and at least somewhat united all of us. And a lot of new technologies, that were for a change not developed from improving methods of warfare, trickled down to the rest of us. Things were "space age" for decades after going to the moon became for a while so commonplace that there was only minimal news coverage.. until there was a problem anyway.

Now it makes me sad that so few of the original Apollo astronauts (and engineers, techs, scientists, etc.) are still alive and we still haven't returned or gone beyond. And a significant part of our population actually thinks the whole thing was faked.

A different era. I hope we can someday recapture some of the excitement and wonder of those times. (though perhaps not the turmoil, as we still have enough of that)

ICO has pumped almost £2.5m and 36 staff into its political data probe – but only 2 are techies

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Outsourcing..

All I can say, is when you go on the cheap, you get what you pay for.

Where I work, with each regime change in IT, it seems like the lessons of the past are utterly forgotten. We flip from internal to external, back to internal again, lather, rinse, repeat. Currently our CIO is on a big outsourcing binge. Which I'm sure will make the board happy with the money 'saved', but is becoming a nightmare for the employees that rely on timely, skilled IT services, and of course no fun for people wondering if they will still have a job in a few months, or be forced to come back as contractors with pitiful to no benefits.

When you have IT staff (or any staff) that are not in full-time direct employ, they have no stake in the business and little understanding of it. And it takes at least 6 months or more to get someone in any IT position to a state where they are more useful and not a menace to everyone else. And without trying to be prejudiced, when you outsource to a foreign company, there can be a huge language barrier in just basic communications, to say nothing of trying to explain technical concepts.

You can pay people properly and treat them with respect, or save a bunch of money now and pay dearly for it later when your talent base, the people that know "why this was done some weird way", have fled for greener pastures.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Paris Hilton

Old ad..

Pork

Apple iPhone X screen falls short of promises, lawsuit says

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Does anyone have eyes that good?

While I'm no Apple fan, and I hate hype and false claims, unless you happen to be a bird of prey, does anyone have eyes good enough to discern any difference in resolution without using a strong magnifier and counting pixels?

IMO, many people that buy iPhones are voluntarily subscribing to hype anyway.

The fastest, most secure browser? Microsoft Edge apparently

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Thumb Down

It still sucks donkey balls.

The post is required, and must contain letters... Pah.

Boffins build blazing battery bonfire

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Coat

Why molten silicon..

..Anyone who has burnt their mouth on a baked potato knows that they stay ridiculously hot long past what was expected.. Just need a pump to flow the molten butter through a heat exchanger and, well... never mind.

Boffins build bugged bees bearing backpacks

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Prescient?

Danny Dunn

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

They will know they've succeeded..

..in capturing human driving ability when their robot car leaves its turn signal on for 5 miles and cuts in front of 2 lanes of traffic at the last minute to take its expressway exit.

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

I take perverse satisfaction..

..when I change the defaults on a machine from Edge to IE (or anything else) and choose "switch anyway" when it admonishes me to give Edge a try first.

Commodore 64 owners rejoice: The 1541 is BACK

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Pint

I can't speak for the 1541..

..as I started even earlier with a PET and an 8050 dual floppy drive. A drive which incidentally I still have, and which still seems to work as well as the day it was made. I will also say the drive is durable enough that I recall using it once as a step stool to reach something on a high shelf of a closet.

Aside from all that, 500K/side of a 5 1/4 floppy in 1980? And a drive intelligent enough to tell it to copy from one drive to another, shut off the computer and go make a sandwich while it finishes the job? Commodore was really ahead of everyone. (at least for a while)

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

Speaking of queuing..

You forgot the Black Friday tradition for idiots waiting for hours in the freezing drizzle outside of Wal-mart or similar at 5AM for the doors to open so the first 50 can grab a child's bicycle or Tickle Me Elmo for half price. There have actually been stores with a police presence outside to maintain order when the doors open.

Now grocery shopping is a different story on Black Friday. Everyone is eating leftovers after the US Thanksgiving holiday, no one wants to face the thought of buying/preparing more food, and all the idiots are Christmas shopping. So there is practically no one in the grocery stores. It's blissful.

Reverse Ferret! Forget what we told you – the iPad isn't really for work

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Coat

Re: Horses for courses

"It's where you, you know, actually "talk" to people. It's a concept where people actually communicate with each other. And do it "live". Usually in person."

I thought when people gathered, after the first few minutes of conversation, they all pull out their phones to take their turns at games, check/update their social media, text someone else, etc..

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

Conversely..

"Android is just too alien for the majority of iOS users to get used to."

Conversely, long-time Android users forced to use iOS want to bang their heads against their desks. And not because they're listening to good heavy metal.

Unicornpiss Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Oh FFS

We've had a large number of middle and upper-management types get Surfaces and less than a year later return them for laptops for a multitude of varying reasons. So the used surfaces end up going to temps and interns. And in several cases the interns' managers have requested the interns get a better machine, as the used Surfaces are flaky and in some cases are struggling to run some of the applications used by the various departments. So what do they get? 4-5 year-old laptops that have been upgraded with extra RAM and an SSD. They are battleships in size and weight, but they have a proper keyboard, many USB ports, docks that work every time, and in most cases are a bit faster, probably due to a more efficient chipset, despite the clock and RAM speeds being a bit slower.

So we literally have reached a point where despite the Surface being light and having a nice display and touch screen, we can't seem to give them away to employees.

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Perspective

Expecting people to do all their work on an iPad is like handing a professional mechanic a crescent wrench and 2 screwdrivers and expecting them to get the job done. With only a 'cloud' file system, no easy USB, a plethora of mostly aggravating keyboards, and only a limited number of office and other apps compared to a PC, it's just not there yet. And let's not forget no easy AD authentication or access to things on a NAS unless your organization has everything accessible from a browser.

The hardware is certainly competent enough these days, there just isn't enough integration or flexibility yet. I hate tablet PCs like the Surface and its clones, but I'd choose one in a heartbeat over an iPad if I had to get some work done. Convertibles on the other hand, I think just haven't been discovered by enough people yet. (though the few we have at work spend most of their time acting as a laptop, as far as I've seen)

Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

Re: one size fits all?

"the advertising would be tailored to their interests

My interest is in not seeing adverts. Tailor to that!"

Perhaps they will begin advertising ad blockers :P

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Thumb Down

"Wonder how they intend to inject ads into my Windows 10 email client (I use Thunderbird) when I've removed it and most of the other (cr)apps that come with Windows 10?"

They will probably begin injecting ads right into the email messages themselves if they can get away with it.

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Flame

Why would anyone tolerate this?

There are plenty of good freeware email clients out there. I have to use Outlook at work, but have never used any MS product for email personally. We're all bombarded with enough pointless, soul-killing advertising daily. And does anyone actually buy any of the services or products offered? Or is the revenue just from 'delivered' ads?

I suspect the only people that would use the 'free' MS email client are those that just don't know any better.

Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Reward..

I once located some missing data that one of our company's lawyers said "..probably saved the company at least $100K in discovery time" My reward wasn't a bottle of wine but being chastised mildly for working on something that there was no ticket for..

In news that will shock absolutely no one, America's cellphone networks throttle vids, strangle rival Skype

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

With no current real regulation..

..providers can do what they want. And they are ALL pretty much scum. But using Skype as a benchmark for anything is like trusting a junkie with your wallet.

Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Re: Windows FE (Fecal Edition)

what's next, 'slurping' up data about what we've been eating, and if "it floats" it's "you're eating too much meat/fast-food"

Some while ago I had an orange circle pop up on Skype admonishing me "Add a photo! It'll help people get to know you!" I can just imagine a MS-powered toilet telling me "You should eat more fiber!" or "Another night at the bar! Tsk Tsk"

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Coat

Windows FE (Fecal Edition)

Preparing to configure toilet... Ready for download. Something went wrong :( Refer to log below for details. All personal data has been wiped. Please try flushing the download cache and try again.

Bird, Lime, and Xiaomi face scooter sueball

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Meh

Grocery stores

Most grocery stores have "Mart Carts" or similar electric (sit down) scooters for customers that have disabilities. These are more of a commercial grade device. They're meant to be continually used, recharged constantly, and have at least a few safety features such as a beeper that sounds when backing up, and the speed limited to a couple of MPH. They are also a bit more rugged and probably have some degree of weather resistance.

If cities are going to rent scooters, there needs to be a similar type of unit for rent. Perhaps one that can detect when being ridden on a sidewalk and slow to a walking pace, one with more safety features, and perhaps with lighting and/or reflective portions to make them visible to motorists.

But I have to say to the people that were injured by tripping over these--WTF? And are we also going to sue skateboard, rollerblade, and bicycle manufacturers because people are idiots and meet mishap without bothering to wear any safety gear?

Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Happy

Re: I've seen a definite uptick in these

I've gotten a few of these. I suspect if there was any plausibility to this, most people would have a blackmail recording showing whatever porn side by side with a chin-up view of various facial contortions as the rocket clears the tower. (also known as your "Oh! Face") :-)

For me, I generally don't look at anything too interesting, but since I usually use a desktop at home with no microphone or camera, the show would be extra boring. Maybe porn with an anthology attached.

It's big, it's blue, and it'll be raining down on you – it's 3200 Phaethon

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Coat

Re: Monty Phaethon?

"Oh my God it's full of Smurves!"

Microsoft promises a fix for Windows 10 zip file woes. In November

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: I only want one feature from Windows Search...

I think Windows search on Win10 is crap, but weirdly I've found that if you type part of something into the search box, wait for it to populate with its worthless garbage, then delete a few characters and put them back again -slowly-, it will actually sometimes find what you're looking for, such as "User Account Control" settings.

Still for file searching, freeware Agent Ransack blows away anything from any version of Windows.

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Flame

Indexing

"The indexing process takes those file names and puts them into a structure that can be searched faster than linearly "

The problem is the search and/or harvesting algorithm doesn't seem to be the best. So either filling a database full of crap and running a search on it, or filling a db with good data and then using a crap search (or both) still isn't nearly as good and fast as a proper search, such as with Agent Ransack, which I'm quite pleased with on Windows.

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Now you're just trying..

" MS is a dimensional rift to the Plane of Stupidity."

Now you're just trying to top your black hole ejaculation comment. (love to see that taken out of context)

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: I wonder...

"Win10 sucks so hard it makes black holes look like they're ejaculating.

You deserve an upvote for that quip, for sure :)

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Flame

7-Zip

Windows' handling of .zip files (and any other compressed and/or archive format, most not supported) has traditionally been slow and cumbersome. Now it appears to be escalated to potentially destructive, or at least confusing to work with. (and around)

I fail to understand why after literally decades MS has repeatedly failed to get this right when there are excellent freeware, even open-source apps that do a spectacular job and go light years beyond the functionality built into Windows.

Memo to Microsoft: Windows 10 is broken, and the fixes can't wait

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: I stopped right here...

"yep NEVER any QA issues in the world of Linux!"

Let's not forget that most Linux distros are FREEWARE for any purpose. While Windows costs individuals and companies a LOT of money. The quality gap has really narrowed between Linux and Windows. IMO most Linux distros are more stable, and have a lot less schizophrenic UI than Win10. They don't nag you idiotically, the menus make sense, and they don't collect telemetry. True, they don't have some of the Win10 features, but since said features often work rather erratically and spy on you unless you take pains to prevent it, I know what I'll keep using.

I'm not saying Linux is without flaws, but it's FREE, and very good. Try running Windows updates on a fairly up-to-date machine next to a freshly-imaged Linux machine getting updates and I'm still betting on the Linux machine finishing first and not needing a reboot.

Unicornpiss Silver badge
Flame

Re: I stopped right here...

"This testing has been successful for Bing, improving the team's ability to ship changes without harming overall software quality,"

--Don't you need some quality to begin with in order to harm it?

But joking aside, what is Microsoft's rush? There is no additional revenue in any way I can understand by rushing to update and add 'features' to software that people have already purchased, one way or another. And the slip in quality control is likely scaring businesses and causing IT departments to take a hard look at more stable platforms, such as Linux.

Really, MS has just confirmed what its users have suspected for years--that they test in production and the world is their beta testers. And like many IT folks, I have a love/hate relationship with Windows--it keeps me employed but makes my head pound with "What were they thinking??"

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: Put a heater in the safe then ?

My question would be, why was it just the one PC acting up then? Didn't they put all the disks in teh safe? Or did the office only have one PC?

In Windows 10 Update land, nobody can hear you scream

Unicornpiss Silver badge

Re: Pity

"Nagging ass-cheese"

Huawei's Watch GT snubs Google for homegrown OS

Unicornpiss Silver badge

2-week battery life

Even though in reality it's likely to be more like 10 days or less, it still got my attention. This was one of the reasons I haven't bothered with a smart watch--who needs yet one more thing to remember to recharge daily or every few days? If it's reasonably rugged and water resistant, I might give it a go.

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