Brilliant just brilliant. Made me chuckle so whoever wrote that, bravo!
45 posts • joined 5 Oct 2011
Brilliant just brilliant. Made me chuckle so whoever wrote that, bravo!
I imagine even the simplest AI's learn that repeating the same action and getting a negative response means "don't do that again".
Could I suggest introducing some AI into your posting process? It might prevent you regurgitating the same thing over and over and over.
I will add more "overs" the more you post to maintain the accuracy of this comment both mathematically and statistically. I would hate for my data to be misused.
Edit: in the seconds I posted this, you got another one in! I have added another over.
"5 downvotes - I expected more from commentards."
I can only downvote once :( I will try harder next time. Sorry.
I agree with your scenario but blimey what an edge case!
I use my uncompromised account to order food, once a month lets say (I try to stay healthy but not too healthy). So your fraud detector won't fire unless, I order some food, the cheeky-chappies hack my account, on the same night, and also order food.
Now imagine I order once a week not once a month. There's still a 6 in 7 chance that your fraud detector won't spot it.
As other have said, forced re-entering of card details for different delivery addresses seems a really sensible solution here.
"Recording the MAC address means it can be tied back to an individual"
Does it? If my home wifi router collects your MAC address as you walk by my house and I check the logs every day, how have I identified you and how do I hold any information about you?
You issue your GDPR request, what response should I give you? I have no information to do the lookup.
Now if I capture your MAC address and at the same time interview you and get your name, age, sexual preference and store it all in my SnoopingDB, then I'd agree with your point but in this case that doesn't appear to be what's happening.
Happy to be corrected.
Driverless cars whats the connection? Oh Infineon make bits for driverless cars!
I think this might have implications for opening jam jars. Oh by the way did I mention I bought a company that makes jam jars?
El Reg can you quote me too?
Start your journey of continuously delivering agile processes and developing your operations in 8 weeks time. Via witchcraft and voodoo, I'll take your business and get everyone stood up from top to bottom. We'll sprint into a future where the Product Owner is king (or queen). Don't worry if you haven't got one, I'll force that role onto the first person recognises your product's name, I don't even care if they know what it does.
Now you might have heard that automation is where its at, you're right. I'll give you the tools to push out any change you want to any environment you want at the speed of light. I'll get your developers doing ops and ops doing development so neither need take ownership of anything, I call this collaboration. I'll have you swapping desks and wearing so many hats you'll never be bored (you won't really achieve anything but god it'll be a good ride).
I'll have your business in so many clouds you'll never worry about seeing the sun again, I'll spaff your data into any virtual system that'll take it and squidge it all together into something that was kind of what you had already. Think this might be hard to manage? Think again. I've got a tool that'll manage all these cloud providers so you'll never know where anything is.
I'll break down barriers, smash the walls of silos and push everything to the left. Failing fast is good and don't worry you'll be failing with the best of them, just much much faster. Good aye?
After I've done all that, I'll still not be finished, I'll give you a backlog so long you'll never finish grooming it. We'll prioritise things into sprints and JFDI like never before. Changed your mind? No problem, a sprint starts every 30 seconds so feel free to change the requirements as much as you like because honestly we ain't delivering and everything we deliver is half finished anyway.
So if this is what you want come and see me.
If you don't want this, come and see me anyway because I'll have a list of failing clients in a right pickle who'll need some solid engineers to help them out.
It's win-win. Well win-win-win because I don't give my expertise away for free!
See you in the future
How many more of these articles must I read before I learn my lesson.
Don't get me wrong, Agile, DevOps, CD, CI, automate this, measure that. I get it. Useful stuff, it has a place, great stuff.
BUT, if I have to wade through one more article on The Register that is just some polished marketing techno-crapola that then ends in a shameless plug then I am going to need to find a new news provider.
Less of this sort of thing!
Not one to bring a problem without a solution. Get Dabbsy to write more, he wouldn't put up with this turd. In fact get him to write about DevOps, then we can all laugh together.
"That's some more words, but it might not be any better."
You do yourself a disservice. That made a great deal of sense, thanks for taking the time to reply, really appreciated.
Bravo sir, this ones on me ------>
I can read the words, it's just the sentences that are causing me problems.
Would you be so kind as to try again, possibly with sock puppets, for those of us blessed with small brains but a keen interest?
This just brought back one of my funniest memories from school. We'd all go into assembly, listen to the usual propaganda and on the way out, in the hall back to the classrooms, would be freshly cooked arse-burger, tastefully presented, for all to admire.
This happened a number of times over a number of months and the 'Phantom Shitter' became legend, never seen, never caught, always funny, a hero of his day!
Sir, I salute you, two decades have past and still you're sticking it to the man. Bravo.
I am not sure what you've got against these golfers but you always be a hero to me.
No sense of self worth? Did you read his comment?
It seems to me he had a look, made a choice and is happy with it. If anything his sense of self worth appears to be functioning quite adequately. It appears the only shame here is your ability to comprehend others might make a different choice to you. Whilst you might not hold much hope for Cliff, I'm a tolerant sort so I'll keep my hopes alive for you, however, it's unfortunate you posted as AC because now I don't even know who I'm hoping for, this is sad.
You didn't realise the * was for the footnote?
Careful now, that horse is pretty high, climbing off maybe difficult! Muppet* **
* There is no regex in this message :)
** Apologies for the insult but as you'd said it already, I couldn't resist. I only mean it in jest, I am sure your a nice person really and not a [Mp]uppet***
*** There was some Regex there but the *** was not part of it.
I don't get it....won't M[rs] match:
I maybe wrong, happy to be corrected. Was your beef with the 'Mr' match?
"iTunes Plus is the new standard on iTunes. ...., and without digital rights management (DRM). iTunes Plus music can be burned to CD as many times as you need...."
So I buy from iTunes.
Burn everything to CD.
Give the CDs to the kids in my will.
Maybe you can save the rubber on the soles of your shoes and use the internet as nature intended :)
Or pull its flaps open* then they could have two things driving around causing Martian mayhem.
*ooo-errr missus....get you mind out of the gutter!
Try XAML rather than XMAL. You might get more results.
The little baby Jesus
"Someone half-heartedly threw a coffee cup at two tourist information officers."
Finally someone standing up to these oppressive clowns; telling us where to go and what to see in places we're not familiar with! HOW DARE THEY!!!!!
Once I went into a Tourist Information Centre. Information Centre! Propaganda Centre more like. All they kept telling me was what I should do and how good the place was. Using their directions I got back on the Trans Pennine Trail but that's besides the point!!!
Thank you Anonymous for recognising and ending this tyranny.
To follow? I would imagine the only following this pill caused anyone was to follow through.
Current Status - Brown
So I post this thing to someone, it gets there and I snaffle some tasty data treats, put in some back doors etc, etc.
But as soon as someone opens my package then they'll know something is up. Doesn't this severely limit the amount of time that you'll get to launch an attack and also make your mark completely aware that they've been targeted and probably compromised?
Given the complexity of all this, it appears it might be a better idea to deploy the old "I'll give you a Mars bar for your login details" scam. Even if that doesn't work, you've saved on the cost of building this thing AND you'll have a load of chocolate to munch on.
Of course we do. Just go to my site where I collate stats like this and you can see for yourself. It does ask for some details but that's just to keep the spam robots and scammers out. Check it out: http://www.drainmybankaccount.com/moreMulesHereBe
I humbly request that Critters be added to the list of aliens to enter the fray.
What with stinging quills, a nasty attitude and they look like Sonic The Hedgehog's psychotic relatives, they must surely have representation in the arena of death.
Over and out.
P.s. relive the glory days here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090887/
So this is the only UK ISP kicking up a stink about this? Truly they are the Accrington Stanely of the ISP world.
Ironically, their entry level product is called 'Activist'. I am pretty sure that subscription is going to put you one someone's list.
"You do something well, you get showered with goodies. You cock it up, you get a bucket of holes"
Mr Dabbs has obviously never held a senior management role where "Cock it up" == Loadsa cash + an extended holiday.
If life's a game surely this deal means you've won.
I'd say the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
You know the pin keypad that get's displayed? Wouldn't re-arranging the position of the numbers for each unlock defeat the greasy finger attack?
OMG I can almost taste a patent!!! Samsung, Apple, Google you'll all soon be paying me mega-bucks for this little beauty bru-ha-ha-ha.
tiddle-dee-dee-googly-googly-doo --> http://www.google.co.uk/patents/US6549194
DAMN YOU HP!!!!!!!!!
You dozy plonker.
It would seem "he survived the ordeal so that he could blog about it" and the "I'll get my coat" icon aren't big enough clues for you to spot a joke.
Still the fact that you tried to educate Rich in subtle art of deduction and then went to the trouble of looking up an old news article to demonstrate vast knowledge of watery space walk stories, has given me copious laughs this morning. Bravo.
You make an excellent case. However, I fail to see how any of what you have said invalidates my perceived benefit of the service?
Am I saying a network filter will stop child exploitation? No.
Am I saying that a network filter is another layer of protection for our household? Yes.
Am I saying we should all be opted-in/opted-out? I think I am saying - meh - the end result would be the same, some will opt-in and some will opt-out.
I guess being given the choice is the key part here or are you concerned that this "thinking adult" is incapable of making the decision to opt-out when the default is to opt-in? I, for example, opted out of the phone book but had I done nothing I would have been listed. This was an informed adult decision was it not? I am sure I am not alone in being able to make one of those. So I guess from my perspective (and I appreciate you hold a different view) the default of opting in or out is irrelevant to me. I make my own choice regardless.
Yours was an interesting post though and for that you have my thanks.
Yes it does. Searching for "tits" in google images doesn't bring up as many ornithological pictures as one might hope when the filter is active! :)
However, I have cure for that. My inbuilt "Daddy filter" is highly tuned to spotting flesh tones on a screen from incredible distances. As such the aforementioned "bird search" would ring my bell, causing me to eject the family from the room whilst I had some time "investigate the results".
Could the kids get around the filter? Yes, hell even I can get around the filter :)
However, the filter does prevent accidents and gives me peace of mind when they are using the computer. As for people with different ideas, our ISP's filter is configurable so I guess there is scope for different tastes but how you set that up would be your choice. I was happy with the defaults, well except for the gambling bit I mentioned before.
Opting out and selecting what types of content I do and do not want filtered are two separate things. My ISP's implementation allows me to opt-out completely and not have to specify what my interest was in my choice for opting out.
However, I can also partially opt-out. For example, my filter setting "allow gambling" because I want access to the national lottery website to check on my dream tax contributions.
I know I probably be down-voted in the extreme but our family find the content filters provided by our ISP brilliant.
To be clear, the desktop PC is in the front room and our kids are free to use it and are supervised. However, everyone keeps telling me over and over again that I need "layers of security/protection", isn't this just one more layer? Is it perfect no? Can it help? Certainly!
What it means it that my little ones can be given control of the computer and I can be reasonably confident that when they click a link from google, if the endpoint is something super-dodgy then it will be blocked before my son or daughter is exposed to it.
It might not be the right solution for everyone but surely there is some value in it for the masses who are now able to get another layer of security for free?
So free content filtering at the ISP level get's a +1 from me and a +3 from the rest of the family.
Judge all you want I can't get enough.
"How did it feel to hit that son of a bitch?"
Meatballs being fired at us Pastafarians!
I shall not stand this blasphemy.
For it is not written "Thou shalt not bite the noodly appendage with which I toucheth thee"
I used Bing to translate the sub-heading 'Dujeychugh jagh nIv yItuHQo' to english and got:
If the value of yituhxo, the enemy dujey
I think something may have been lost in the translation because I don't think that will have Google quaking any time soon!
Paris? Maybe she gets it, because I don't.
Just wanted wanted to pop a quick message in here to register my disgust* with the comments section appearing immediately after the articles on some pages. I say some pages because some articles still have the old-fashioned comments link just waiting to be tickled by my rodent.
However, some of the articles have the comments inline with the page. All well and good, many a site does this and to be honest that's not my beef (or horse if you're feeling saucy). My horse is that the "Most Rated" tab is the active one.
Let us not mince words, many of the best quips made by the commentards on here are only funny in context and you have managed to eliminate the one thing that makes the comments section great, the chuffing comments. By removing the context you have managed to turn someone's mildly sane ranting into the seemingly random stream of insane garble.
So if you must put the comments inline, please put them ALL there. I hate hearing only half the conversation and most of the time your just ruining the punchline!
Over and out.
*disgusted was probably the wrong word. A more accurate description would be that my face turns red, bile rises and my eyes bulge out of my skull. My rage, literally, knows no bounds when I see those chuffing "Most Rated" messages. TURN IT OFF. That is all.
You sir are playing a dangerous game!
One fanatic in his/her office getting their kicks is one thing. Getting them all together in an "in-house Cyber Cafe" will inevitably lead to one almighty macgasm that could have effects tantamount to "crossing the streams".
Do you want to cause the end of the universe? Or worse, live in one where every corner is rounded?
Keep them away from each other, its the only safe way forward.
"PDF is sufficiently ubiquitous that I don't even think about them"..."I don't even give it thought. it just works"
The malware writers must love you...
"oh a pdf"
"oh where's my data gone...what's this message? give you $150 and you'll unencrypt my drive you say?"
I'm glad that PDF was so easy to open.
"Hi Microsoft Support"
"My computer has a virus and you detected remotely? How kind of you to call, yes of course you can have my bank account details...what do you mean you have them already?"
Surely a modern interpretation would be 2 Girls 1 Cup. Girl 1 wants to send something to Girl 2 but sometimes the cup intercepts it and passes it on.
As a nice side-effect, it may well deter hacking because no-one wants to be "the man in the middle" of that lot.
The register is going down hill, this should have been post number 1. Maybe I am getting old but I thought the comments section was all about welcoming overlords of one sort or another. I kinda thought it was like spreading your bets, much in the same way as being a multi-faith atheist (or does that translate into believing in nothing in a lot of different ways? - you get my point anyway I'll assume).
In summary, you must all try harder next time lest you wish to feel the wrath of a four-toed super-being with an as yet undetermined amount of mounted lasers!
Blunderbuss +1 from me
P.s. I want more "laser" comments too. That is all.
Would symlinks on windows have worked rather than shortcuts, which are essentially just files are they not?
mklink /? on the command line (works on Windows 7 not sure about others).
I wonder if that would have helped with the nesting dream?
(Penguin because 'ln' is easier to type than mklink...another victory for our feathered friend, supremacy on the desktop is assured :) ).
99% of climatologists may think global warming a real concern but only 50% of voters think your opinion is sound (16 up 16 down at the time of writing).
Personally, I'm with the FSM on this one. Global warming is due to the lack of water loving Pirates in this modern age (I realise we are full to the brim with MP3 swapping kind the land lubbing scummers).
Still if I were a pirate wouldn't this be good news I mean a call of "We be damned I tells yer....oh no there's some land that just popped up out of the ocean. We're saved" is an amazing thing.
Why won't anyone think of the pirates?
Things going faster than the speed of light, now apple dredge up a video accurately predicting the future. It's time travel I tells yer, that or help from Aliens. Either way we live in scary times!!!
Tin foil hat being super-glued to head as we speak.
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