* Posts by earl grey

1327 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

Page:

AT&T abducts AlienVault to bolster business end of its security probing

earl grey
Silver badge
Flame

I suspect this is like their last promise

You know, the one where they said they wouldn't raise rates when they acquired TW? What happened right after that went through; they raised rates. Oh, and they're still dumping employees like mad. Have to pay those exec bonuses somehow.

1
0

Hardware rumours, goat-spanking search engines and plenty of Azure. It's last week in Redmond

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

I am not a number!

Ah, never mind.

0
0

Science! Luminescent nanocrystals could lead to multi-PB optical discs

earl grey
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

my pron is waiting

bring it on she said.

5
0

IBM fired me because I'm not a millennial, says axed cloud sales star in age discrim court row

earl grey
Silver badge
Flame

lying scum are still lying

Why am i not surprised.

64
0

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: We expect 100% occupancy during the visit

"Do we know if she came via helicopter?"

Yes, she comes in the helicopter. Just like Barbarella.

4
0

Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

i can remember before windows

Except it was all mainframe stuff. Yeah, i'm old.

2
0

UK taxman has amassed voice profiles of 5.1 million taxpayers

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Give it a year

"What about Boris Johnson's two-word thought on the matter?"

I don't think "I brainless" counts as a thought.

7
0

IBM loses mainframe docs down the back of the web, customers cry 'sabotage'

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

too stupid for words

as someone famously said: You Dumbass!

0
0

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

earl grey
Silver badge
Pint

Required input

Have a few. Laughed out loud and got strange looks.

1
0

JURI's out, Euro copyright votes in: Whoa, did the EU just 'break the internet'?

earl grey
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Hands off my pronz

And my tentacles. She knows.

2
1

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

oh, and here's your 2 pee

Erm, i meant 2 p.

0
0

AT&T sends in startup shill to shake up Cali's net neutrality safeguards

earl grey
Silver badge
Flame

s'rsly?

Typical behaviour from a company that tried to hire washington insiders, pays off state legislators left and right, and is currently in a big campaign to purge headcount.

22
0

Shiny new Capita boss to UK.gov: I know you are but what am I?

earl grey
Silver badge
Mushroom

Have they offered to refund for all their f-ups?

Didn't think so.

7
0

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

WTF just happened

I just tried to up-vote a comment and a red error message popped up that said something like:

Alert the Moderatrix - The coders need to be whipped!

How old is that?

23
0

Dinosaurs permitted to mate: But what does AT&T Time merger mean for antitrust – and you?

earl grey
Silver badge
Unhappy

what does this mean to the consumer?

Back in the barrel.

0
0

That was quick: Seattle rushes to kill tax that would mildly inconvenience Amazon

earl grey
Silver badge
Flame

The last tax didn't do any good.

The last 270 million tax they laid on the public hasn't gone into any part of housing and helping the homeless like it was supposed to; so what makes anyone think THIS tax is going to actually be applied to its spoken cause? The council there is corrupt in not addressing any of the actual problems but like politicians anywhere see someone else's money as the solution to all their problems. It isn't. It never will be. The best thing that could happen to that city would be for all those big corporations to move to another city/state where idiots like these aren't in charge. When you piss off that much of the electorate to satisfy the few, you would think they were far right wing instead of far left wing politicos.

6
1

In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Short-lived but well-received

"and in the case of porn, probably a fair proportion that is criminal evidence"

Damn straight. Those dancing bear vids are proof that someone is having a better time than i am.

5
0
earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: happy for adverts if....

"And then, obviously, there's all the really crazy stuff, like pornography, who we vote for, embarrassing hobbies/kinks, your racist relatives, medical problems you don't want to talk about, and so forth."

You left out the tools we use and the hardware we have in stock.

5
0

British egg producers saddened by Google salad emoji update

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

i'm going to hell for this

All i can hear is Ozzy singing "eggs for dinner".

2
0

You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

earl grey
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

1F984

At last I get a unicorn!

1
0

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

earl grey
Silver badge
Mushroom

i would like to insert a full ream

Or maybe give them time a barrel; either way would serve.

0
1

Mirror mirror on sea wall, spot those airships, make Kaiser bawl

earl grey
Silver badge
Pint

Thank you

Very interesting article.

3
0

Kids and the web latest: 'Won't somebody please think of the children!' US Congresscritters plead

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

i almost agree

We all need to implement the Libertarian practice of automatically adding "None Of The Above" to every ballot.

You need to also put on there that if "none of the above" wins, the others are automatically prohibited from running again...

1
0
earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

I look forward to a future where the Republican Party regains its sanity.

I look forward to a future where all the parties regain their sanity.

TFTFY

2
0

Get an eyeful of the stunning galaxies near us in ultraviolet light

earl grey
Silver badge
Pint

if mankind only gets remembered for one thing

this

0
0

Biometrics: Better than your mother's maiden name. Good luck changing your body if your info is stolen

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Wonder if Estonia's solution would work?

It's all good until it's broken and then it's crap like everything else. They have to originally base is on something and that's probably more of a problem.

4
1

German IKEA trip fracas assembles over trolley right of way

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

"quality MDF items"

unpossible.

2
0

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

earl grey
Silver badge
Pint

nicely played

Have one (or more).

5
0

if dev == woman then dont_be(asshole): Stack Overflow tries again to be more friendly to non-male non-pasty coders

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Maybe a silly question, but...

"rock gently side to side"

Note: Use a good sized rock.

4
0

Firefox to feature sponsored content as of next week

earl grey
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Bye bye FF...

"Which one are you going to pay for?"

ODFO

0
2

BOFH: Guys? Guys? We need blockchain... can you install blockchain?

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: The value of IoT

"Always thought it was divisable by 0"

Everything is divisible by 0. There's naught to think about.

7
0

Revenge pornography ban tramples free speech, law tossed out – where else but Texas!

earl grey
Silver badge
Headmaster

gun crime

It's not a thing.

Crime committed with a gun...

Crime committed with a knife...

Crime committed with a truncheon...

Crime committed with a car...

Crime committed with a lorry...

Those are "things".

0
0

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

earl grey
Silver badge
Happy

Never really got offered a bribe

Well, leastways not that I would have recognised. Guess i was too dumb or not worth the effort. I did manage to be "gifted" a Mapper tie which had been made in limited quantities and have a few pens from a training session that light up in different colors...very entertaining...

Everywhere I have been employed the last 50 years has had very strict rules about bribes, accepting gifts of almost any value, etc. Never got offered much and never had to worry about the value (of the item or my integrity).

2
0

Facebook faces foe formation in facial fingering fight

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: OH dear....

But, but...then Zoiberg won't be worth billions of croutons!

0
0

Machines learned to assemble IKEA’s semi-disposable furniture

earl grey
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Real men? w/prostrate glands

1. to cast (oneself) face down on the ground in humility, submission, or adoration. 2. to lay flat, as on the ground.

yeah, not so much like prostate.

0
0
earl grey
Silver badge
Joke

However the hot dog at the end makes up for it all.

Yeah, used to getting the weiner in the end.

0
0

Now IBM turns redundo gun on its Digital Business Group

earl grey
Silver badge
Devil

BOHICA

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

0
0

Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

earl grey
Silver badge
Joke

Ah, yer takin' the piss

Reminds me of the old recording of two guys taking a leak

and the one says: "why is yours so much louder than mine"

and the other says: "I'm pissing on your briefcase"

14
0

Honey, I shrunk the mainframe: Fujitsu freshens up GS21 kit

earl grey
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Eclipsed?

As another old mainframe greybeard (starting some 50+ years ago), i offer you several of these.

8
0

Facebook admits it does track non-users, for their own good

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

how many kicks to the nutsack

would it take to get that scum to fix farcebook?

1
0
earl grey
Silver badge
Devil

Re: RE: As a never-signed up non member....

Somehow that kicked off:

badger, badger, badger

in my head... I'm not quite as sick as what's his name.

3
0

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

Beer delivery

I thought that's what the sprog were supposed to do?

2
0

Snubbed R Us: Microsoft eschews Vulture Consultants in Playmobil tech research

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

so how does this work

when the knight and the lady are stacked up? Just askin'

3
0

German sauna drags punters to court over naked truth

earl grey
Silver badge
IT Angle

"We sell ad space next to IT stories"

Is that why while i was at work i would always get the big ad with the slinky half-dressed babes and wonder what that had to do with IT?

1
0

My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?

earl grey
Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Dabsy, I disagree about your choice of phone.

zombies shuffling down the street

OH, you just had to say that....

Party Rock!

Yeah

Wooo!

Let's go!

Party rock is in the house tonight

2
0

UK.gov: We're not regulating driverless vehicles until others do

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

This is the best part

"A UK ban on all sales of normal road vehicles has previously been announced. It will take effect in 2040"

So normal vehicles will just vanish and you'll get around by ???? Flying?

0
0

How machine-learning code turns a mirror on its sexist, racist masters

earl grey
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Paris and France

I was thinking more like Paris and pants...

1
0

IBMers in TSS: How WILL we support customers after these latest job cuts?

earl grey
Silver badge
Trollface

the customers backed a winner.

I think you mean the customers got the weiner.

3
0

Java-aaaargh! Google faces $9bn copyright bill after Oracle scores 'fair use' court appeal win

earl grey
Silver badge
Flame

so it's a win

hopefully they'll get a full one dollar as compensation and then be buried.

1
0

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

earl grey
Silver badge
Facepalm

Twatspotting

Just like trainspotting before you twatsplat with the train.

4
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018