* Posts by earl grey

1386 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

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Unhappy

Re: As someone recently said ...

I think that would make someone a pedo.

Typical! You wait ages for a fast radio burst from outer space, and suddenly 13 show up

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Pint

Nice work boffins

Have one (or more).

Senator Wyden goes ballistic after US telcos caught selling people's location data yet again

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Flame

CEO jail time

Take a half-dozen of these suckers and throw them in chokey for a while (and not some country club federal prison) and shit like this stops. now.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

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Joke

Re: Any computer game after 1994...

So my Sim Ant floppies are still a go?

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

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Joke

staff sacked

I tried to keep the staff away from my sack...just sayin'

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

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Re: I don’t know why I’m reading this except...

a reply i was pining so see.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Coat

the pigs are committed to bringing you the best bacon

there's a joke in there somewhere...

I'll get me coat

Did you hear? There's a critical security hole that lets web pages hijack computers. Of course it's Adobe Flash's fault

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Facepalm

I just HAD to look

And their frikking web site simply downloads a zero length install. Another job well done.

In news that will shock, er, actually a few of you, Amazon backs down in dispute with booksellers

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Happy

not to mention book faires and antiquarian shows

Ok, well, i mentioned them. great places which used to abound with book sellers and their wonderful old tomes. Most of the stores i preferred going into were used book stores with high shelves, books stacked all over, and a certain dry, musty smell. They always had inadequate lighting.

Lloyds Banking Group: We're firing 6,240 to hire 8,240

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Unhappy

"It's a topsy-turdy world we've got."

Mostly turdy I suspect.

In memoriam: See you in Valhalla, Skype Classic. Version 8 can never replace you

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Mushroom

well, at least the government

can listen in any time they want now.

Now Europe wants a four-million-quid AI-powered lie detector at border checkpoints

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Trollface

I'm sorry Dave

You shall not pass.

D.O.Eh: Here's the new privacy law Canada can't really enforce

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Facepalm

waves hands

pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

IBM's Red Hat gobble: Storage will be a test of Big Blue's commitment to open-source software

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Flame

Well, IBM gobbles something

But I wasn't thinking Red Hat.

Should a robo-car run over a kid or a grandad? Healthy or ill person? Let's get millions of folks to decide for AI...

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Trollface

just bring back Death Race 2000

and be done with it.

Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

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Pint

Ah, glass milk bottles

Remember them (and wifey still has one of the metal bottle holders) well. As one of seven sprog we would use at least a bottle per meal in our aluminum glasses (remember those?). I still have a scar on one finger from slipping and falling whilst carrying one of those bottles.

Even beer was better back then.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

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Unhappy

points to a golden future

Thanks, but i'm not into golden showers these days.

UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

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Paris Hilton

Well spank me with that spatula

And call me; surely. She calls all the time but i'm never available.

The march of Amazon Business has resellers quaking in their booties

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Facepalm

Re: In related news....

As Sears said: I could a been a contender...

But they're not...and not because of "but old-line management just can't adapt to technology."

More likely because the current Krusty is a money man and not a marketing person in any way.

Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID

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Trollface

Starbucks

I call them "starbutts". Seems appropriate, since shite is what they serve.

Somehow that reminds me of the joke about the gal with the dark sun trampstamp.

Where can I hide this mic? I know, shove it down my urethra

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Trollface

shirt pockets

And just tell me, how is that supposed to work with my pocket protector?

On the third day of Windows Microsoft gave to me: A file-munching run of DELTREE

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Mushroom

No thank you

Just - No thank you.

Organic stuff, radiation, unexpected methane... Yes, we're talking about Saturn's surprising rings

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Unhappy

science is so wonderful

Now, if we could only get our social (governments) fixed.

Blueprint of modern construction can be found in a tech cluster... of 19th century England

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Pint

Thank you

Being on the other side of the pond it's unlikely i'll get there, but i surely appreciate the write-up and history lesson all-in-one. You deserve another.

Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

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Devil

Is that first picture Arthur?

Inquiring minds want to know.

for a friend, of course.

Have I been pwned, Firefox? OK, let's ask its Have I Been Pwned tool

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Paris Hilton

I refuse to bank online

I looked into it once for one of my banks. Only 82 pages of fine print lawyerese to wade through and i decided not to do business that way. FU bank.

I'll have the red panda for breakfast. Was that a firefox or firecrotch? Only she knows.

I want to buy a coffee with an app – how hard can it be?

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Facepalm

at popular prices

I like 'em.

Thank you Benny Hill

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

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Trollface

Ah you kids

now get off my lawn.

cards and 7-track tapes and no disks to speak of; truckloads of up to 6-part forms to decollate and burst. all mainframe all the time.

Renegade 3D-printing gunsmith Cody Wilson on the run in Taipei from child sex allegations

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Unhappy

He's being burned on this one

I can think of a couple of anti-gun billionaires who would be more than happy to set him up for a fall.

Oz government rushes its anti-crypto legislation into parliament

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Facepalm

what can possibly go wrong?

I know; I know....everything. again. still. as someone once famously said: "YOU DUMBASS"

What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

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Mushroom

What's Big and Blue

And shits all over its employees.

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WTF?

Re: "systematically targeted"

"It's "FACE DOWN, 9 EDGE FIRST""

Unless it's one of the 51 column readers with the extra bars on the ramp and then it's 12 edge first and face up. You had to be there.

The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

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Alien

what cute pouty duck lips

Wait~

Pew Pew Pew

Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

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Boffin

Re: Why...

"(back when dinosaurs roamed the earth)"

You had dinosaurs?

Pah! You kids. Get off my lawn.

How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls

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Paris Hilton

You are old, Father Dabbs

And here i thought you were going to have Mme Dabbs give it a kiss to make it feel better.

Paris completely understands.

You know all those movies you bought from Apple? Um, well, think different: You didn't

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Flame

Re: not yours

"Hurting their pocket is the only way they way stop screwing people and not caring one bit"

Well, that and repeated kicks to the testicles.

Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

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Meh

Change is ok

As long as everything stays the same.

Seriously not as glaring as the last front page eruption, but i rather got used to the last get-up and the older i get, the more i don't like changes.

Martian weather has cleared at last: Now NASA's wondering, will Opportunity knock?

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Meh

I hope the little booger is still alive

It would be a shame to last so long under such difficult circumstances only to have your candle blown out by a mere dust storm.

Sextortion scum armed with leaked credentials are persistent pests

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Devil

spay and neuter

that is all.

NASA 'sextortionist' allegedly tricked women into revealing their password reset answers, stole their nude selfies

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Headmaster

bad suspension chemicals in flue shots

FLU - short for influenza.

FLUE - a duct for smoke and waste gases

AI software may help eggheads predict where aftershocks will strike

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Trollface

'cromulent'

How can that be just made up? I just saw it in print. It MUST be real.

As porn site pounds hard on piracy laws, Cox pulls out prematurely

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Flame

The biggest problem

Is that the alleged rights holders have no disincentive to not lie or file false claims. That's about the only part of the DMCA that needs fixing.

Texas ISP slams music biz for trying to turn it into a 'copyright cop'

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Flame

Dear Music Industry

ODFO

Facebook Messenger backdoor demand, bail in Bitcoin, and lots more

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Headmaster

Re: Govt Shenanigans

"stenography"

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

When's a backdoor not a backdoor? When the Oz government says it isn't

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Mushroom

looks like a skunk

smells like a skunk

it's only the backdoor of a Mephitis mephitis.

Don't hold your breath waiting for the stink of this to go away.

Criminal justice software code could send you to jail and there’s nothing you can do about it

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Trollface

A handful of pre-cog psychics in a pool of water would work too

With a toaster.

NVMe? Well, quite. Now Intel, too, is pumping out consumer QLC SSDs

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Headmaster

that's not the only strange thing

"52GB, 1TB and 2TB"

i know it's just a typo, but does anyone look at these any more?

Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

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Trollface

Re: About this graybeard greebos thing

council run Death Row

Well, until you're ready for soylent green processing.

Bank on it: It's either legal to port-scan someone without consent or it's not, fumes researcher

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Flame

Re: Scanning after login is too late; the malware could have got some login details

They already want your kidney, testicle, and access to your arse.

Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

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Trollface

It can all be avoided

Just make sure they're all Fembots.

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