* Posts by earl grey

1190 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

earl grey
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Unhappy

And in today's news

Financial Times journalist is killed in crocodile attack on surfing vacation in Sri Lanka

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earl grey
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FAIL

gamble in the presence of a live crocodile

If you're near a croc you're gambling you can outrun it.

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'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

Pike?

Surely not Esox lucius?

She's the only thing fishy here.

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UK attorney general plans crackdown on 'trial by social media'

earl grey
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Trollface

The wookie did it.

'Nuf said.

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BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits

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Pint

I laughed

A good start to the weekend. Have another.

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Virginia scraps poke-to-vote machines hackers destroyed at DefCon

earl grey
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Flame

laugh about the chads all you want

But i used the punch card system (in Ohio of all places) and it worked well and was reliable. Florida was (and is) a joke for the way they handled this whole mess and it wasn't a reason to go to crappy machines.

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Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Excellent

Get, got, have got, have getted, have gotted.

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Police deny Notting Hill Carnival face recog tech led to wrongful arrest

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FAIL

what could possibly go wrong

where to start...

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Boffins bust AI with corrupted training data

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Trollface

I'm waiting for human intelligence

'Nuf said.

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Kill animals and destroy property before hurting humans, Germany tells future self-driving cars

earl grey
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Devil

"mowing down other creatures"

I got me some bacon!

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earl grey
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Happy

7. All robots must reply with "by your command" when responding to human direction.

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earl grey
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Unhappy

@Eddy Ito

And they would check your tyre pressure, top them up if necessary; top up your washer fluid (in later years); take your cash and give you proper change without you having to count it out for them.

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Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

earl grey
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Pint

beer for boffins

Ancient and modern. Here's to maths!

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Node.js forks again – this time it's a war of words over anti-sex-pest codes of conduct

earl grey
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Trollface

sounds like he should be working on unix

" has something of a history of being inflammatory, and has regularly been accused of abusing his own powers to shut down debate he doesn't like."

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Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

earl grey
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Trollface

How does this work on my CRT TV?

I feel like i'm missing out on something.

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Headless body found near topless beach: Missing private sub journalist identified

earl grey
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Pint

Re: This story is still nowhere near as strange as...

Nice. "if..."

Loved that movie and still have the VHS. Have a beer.

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Western Digital hauls out weighty tome with 20TB external storage

earl grey
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Trollface

I would cry if i lost that much pron

I mean data...yeah, that's it.

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Spotify cleared of exposing kids to self-love innuendo in TV spot

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Parenting

Ah, like the old "fly united". Snork

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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

earl grey
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Terminator

Re: Bah!

What? You've never had to do that?

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Biz sends apps to public cloud, waves 'bye to on-premises server folk. NO! WAIT!

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Wow....

"boardroom primates"

I think you have mistakenly moved them up the ladder by several steps.

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No, the cops can't get a search warrant to just seize all devices in sight – US appeals court

earl grey
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Flame

Re: Wrong Solution

Pshaw. Next thing you'll be saying they shouldn't be killing citizens in the streets.

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Read IBM CEO Ginni Rometty's letter to staff: Why I walked from Trump's strategy forum

earl grey
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Gimp

Re: Trump was right the first time

Puppetmaster....hmmm; wonder if we could get the Major after him.

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Ancient IETF 'teapot' gag preserved for posterity as a standard

earl grey
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Unhappy

Re: Enterprise Javabeans

I'm sad.

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Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

earl grey
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Thumb Up

Bugs Bunny would call them "maroons"

I'm good with that.

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US prosecutors demand data to unmask every visitor to anti-Trump protest website

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: In my newsfeed 'highlights' today

They didn't have a choice. Everyone else in either party was far worse. Hard to believe, I know; but true.

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Waymo fleshes out self-driving car tech with hardware that goes soft at first sign of trouble

earl grey
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FAIL

I can see it now

Buried under an 18-wheeler. Yup, soft panels and all.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Cost of repairs?

permanently soft

I do, it's not hard at all.

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The cheek of it! Beach bar owner shoots nude bather in the booty

earl grey
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FAIL

i have to say the bloke was lucky

My first thought was that if i had been in the group i would have gone back and put his rifle some place the sun doesn't normally shine. What an arse!

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Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives

earl grey
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nothing like hot molten cheese

To take the skin off the roof of your mouth.

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You had ONE job: Italian firefighters suspected of starting blazes for cash

earl grey
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Flame

Burning down the house

Not My House.

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Britons ambivalent about driverless car tech, survey finds

earl grey
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Trollface

@AMBxx - Self breaking

Every car I ever owned could self break. None of them had automatic braking though.

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earl grey
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Trollface

gawping out the window

"Most of Blighty's ex-drivers would also spend their time in a driverless car gawping out the window"

So just like now?

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UK publishes Laws of Robotics for self-driving cars

earl grey
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Stop

Re: Fail

You don't understand. When all the meatsacks are gone or not allowed to drive, the automobots won't have a need for red lights and so that technology will simply go away.

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Particle boffins show off 'cheap', cute little CosI, world's smallest neutrino detector

earl grey
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Pint

Thank you boffins.

Have a few for your fine efforts.

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CMD.EXE gets first makeover in 20 years in new Windows 10 build

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: What's the point?

" Old Yeller treatment"

That's kinda harsh. At least the Yearling treatment. erm..................

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earl grey
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Thumb Up

Re: Fucking Heresy

I Proclaim you the internet winner for the day!

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earl grey
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Facepalm

so they fixed it?

To use CTL-C and CTL-V? Have i been sleeping in the tip?

Anyway, monitors are really great lizards, so this whole thing is a tip-o-the-hat to our lizard overlords.

And the chocolate is that nasty Nestle's stuff. So not really.

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Cardiff did Nazi that coming: Hackers slap Trump, swastikas, Sharia law on e-sign

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Sarf Wales

"after nine on a weekday. "

AM, or PM?

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Trump-backed RAISE Act decoded: Points-based immigration, green cards slashed

earl grey
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Mushroom

Re: The Information Technology Industry Council, AKA "Isn't It Ironic".

"Mostly at the expense of the incumbent natives. Remind me - how much of the country was stolen from the First Nations again?"

Who took it all from the old ones who were there before them, and the ones before them, and the ones before them. this is nothing new and has been going on for thousands of years. stop acting like it's something that "just happened yesterday" and "oh, we're so bad" because we're just the latest group.

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Canadian ISPs do not Canuck around: Bloke accused of piracy grilled in his home for hours

earl grey
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Devil

I guess they're lucky

Pulling that stunt in the US might have found them face to face with a loaded shotgun. I'm not a gun nut, but invade my property and try to buffalo me and you're in for it.

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Facebook pulls plug on language-inventing chatbots? THE TRUTH

earl grey
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Trollface

Does your animal have two legs?

Bollocks

So my animal has tentacles?

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Sputtering bit-blasters! IBM's just claimed densest tape ever record

earl grey
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Trollface

Still waiting

For something to replace my TR4's.

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How can you kill that which will not die? Windows XP is back (sorta... OK, not really)

earl grey
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Pint

It's hard to know from your headline

If i should upvote you for Black Dahlia or Lovecraft. In either event; have one.

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NEWSFLASH Now even science* says moneybags footballers are overpaid

earl grey
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Pint

Re: A can of worms has opened

Anyway, since it's a can of worms, you may as well have wormwood.

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Autonomous driving in a city? We're '95% of the way there'

earl grey
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Devil

i still haven't seen the answer

What happens to ME, the passenger, when some wanker causes a kerfluffle and the car has to save me or a dozen kiddies on the sidewalk. I expect it to save me. No ifs, ands, or buts. And i really don't expect the manufacturers to insure these vehicles. they don't want the responsibility for what they sell now; they're sure as sin not going to want it when the cars are level 4 or 5 out on the byways.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Strong push?

Personal computers ... didn't seem all that useful to the general public

So, nothing much has changed then.

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earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: BMW

And here I thought it was Lexus drivers were the worst arseholes. My bad.

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The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY

earl grey
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Facepalm

spam, spam, eggs, and spam

and bacon. lots of bacon.

and fried eggs only.

and no sauce.

and a thick slice of pumpernickel with butter

and more bacon.

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

earl grey
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Facepalm

I want unicorns!

when can i expect delivery. oh, wait...

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BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

earl grey
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Unhappy

Benedict who?

Well, at least he didn't use Quisling. Most these days may not remember.

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