* Posts by earl grey

1063 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

Page:

Web celeb product whores told to put on the red light – or else

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

"then cake is a lie, too"

Wait, wait...the cake is a lie?

Shite!

4
0

Will the MOAB (Mother Of all AdBlockers) finally kill advertising?

earl grey
Bronze badge
Mushroom

"People don't hate adverts"

I call bullshit on that. Reg have been showing me ads all morning for Expedia (which i don't never use and zero plans on using) and yesterday it were dresses (and i'm a bloke - well, last time i looked i was); and i don't wear dresses (and don't count kilts). Since i don't have an adblocker at work, it makes it painful to view and honestly often hangs the browser besides putting those sites on my "don't ever do business with" list.

5
0

'Tech troll' sues EFF to silence 'Stupid Patent of the Month' blog. Now the EFF sues back

earl grey
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Re: EFF Lawyers are EFF'n Stupid

"The United States Post Office is very much to blame."

Think you mean US Patent Office.

4
0

Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

earl grey
Bronze badge
FAIL

" fewer headaches for its programmers"

Well, boo hoo Microsoft. Should we call the WAHmbulance for you now or later?

2
0

Law Commission pulls back on official secrets laws plans after Reg exposes flawed report

earl grey
Bronze badge
Pint

Thank you

Have one (or more, as appropriate).

1
0

Homes raided in North West over data thefts from car body repair shops

earl grey
Bronze badge
Devil

i always invite them to my home

Of course, they end up in a carpet in the lime pit, but really now, what did they expect?

6
0

Intel's buggy Puma 6 chipset earns Arris a gigabit-modem lawsuit

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

lawyer: I just made a bazillion bucks

And here's a fiver toward your new modem.

2
0

WD unveils grown-up USB stick in My Passport slab form

earl grey
Bronze badge
Pint

Re: g force 1500 ?

I doubt the contents would survive a drop table.

Nicely played. Have one.

0
0
earl grey
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Sigh....

still did backups onto floppy disks

Erm, did them on tape. Travan 4 if i recall. Even back then.

0
0

Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes

earl grey
Bronze badge
Angel

Anyway, the answer to your problem

Is on page 25, middle of the page, paragraph 3.

1
0
earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Attempting to pigeonhole people has a major issue.

quick wash with a pressure hose

i think you mean quick wash with a pressure hose and bleach...

1
0

Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

earl grey
Bronze badge
Pint

is that oil base, or water base varnish?

And no, we don't want to see it in action.

Have one for the weekend.

3
0

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

earl grey
Bronze badge
Pint

great way to start out the weekend

And that includes a power out at work location!

Have one to get started (and then have another!).

1
0

Baidu teaches AI 'baby' bots English by ordering them around a maze

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

what a learning curve

Does your animal have four legs?

no

Does your animal have two legs?

no

Is your animal slimy and squirms around?

yes

Is your animal a worm?

no

Does your animal have a brain?

no

Is your animal a politician?

yes

0
0

Half a million 'de-identified' patients records to be shared in Bradford

earl grey
Bronze badge
Devil

i'm surprised no one has said

What can possibly go wrong?

0
0

Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: re Why do you need the intermediate server, which is just another thing to go wrong?

"But my housemate wanted to be able to control the central heating from her smartphone"

Pick up phone.

walk over to the heating control

use corner of phone to poke the up/down arrow on the control

mission accomplished

3
1

FCC saves Charter from threat of having to compete for customers

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

more pants on fire

Yes, the head dingo eats babies (as if we didn't already know this).

0
0

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

earl grey
Bronze badge
Angel

Loved that picture of the control board

We used to use similar boards on IBM collator (085) and interpreters (557) and on Univac 1004/1005 units. They usually had a hard cover affixed to keep fingers out. I don't even want think about how many cards I put through those machines.

2
0

New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

grounds for euthanasia.

So, that's somewhere south and east of the EU?

4
0

Alabama joins anti-web-smut crusade with mandatory opt-out filters

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Not the only moronic ban in Alabama

"using other objects "

Shovels and rakes are not replacement for hoes.

1
0
earl grey
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

masturbating is genocide

I'll get the swallow right on it.

She knows.

0
0

Racist Tesla staff drilled my buttocks, claims employee in lawsuit

earl grey
Bronze badge
Flame

well, at least the lawyer will make out ok

How many millions go to the lawyer? Pull my other one.

1
0

RIP: Antivirus veteran Raimund Genes, 54

earl grey
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Sad loss

Condolences to friends and family. The tribute is worth a read.

1
0

How Ford has slammed the door on Silicon Valley's autonomous vehicles drive

earl grey
Bronze badge
Mushroom

"potentially lowers your premiums"

Will that be just before; or right after hell freezes over?

5
0

Squirrel sinks teeth into SAN cabling, drives Netadmin nuts

earl grey
Bronze badge
Unhappy

mice love to chew

I've had them chew up gas line on the lawn tractor and chew though the high voltage cable coming off the coil on the old van. Had to have it towed to the garage as i had no way of getting beneath the thing to check it out.

2
0

Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

earl grey
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Joyous news!

Beer and Bacon.

You can't go wrong.

4
0

Nokia blasts 250 Gbps across Atlantic in optical test for Facebook

earl grey
Bronze badge
Holmes

Looks like a good step

So Nokia scooping up Alcatel wasn't a total waste of time and money.

3
0

Can you ethically suggest a woman pursue a career in tech?

earl grey
Bronze badge
Pint

Well, you sure got the jackasses upset.

Have a beer and celebrate.

1
1
earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: The portrayal of nerds in the media....

"see nothing higher than base desires"

Name one.

0
0
earl grey
Bronze badge

Re: Woman live longer on average...

dressing female babies in blue and males in pink?

It used to be this way into the mid-50's and large corporations changed it all around. When we had our first daughter and brought her home all wrapped in blue, the elderly ladies in our apartment knew she was a girl with only the face exposed...nothing else visible...

0
0

This is where UK's Navy will park its 75,000-ton aircraft carriers

earl grey
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

auto-tensioning bollocks

Did i mis-read that? I'll have to ask her...

2
0

Road accident nuisance callers fined £270,000 for being absolute sh*tbags

earl grey
Bronze badge
Devil

you've all missed the obvious case for enforcement

Put all the execs in a soundproof room and play their recordings non-stop all the way up to 11. Seriously.

8
0

Watt the f... Dim smart meters caught simply making up readings

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: There's more to it that that...

Thought? Whoa now. Let's not be insulting them.

1
0

Q: How many IBMers need to volunteer for corporate guillotine?

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

It's the stop and the end

So, does it matter if they shove them off the roof or force them to jump?

0
0

China proposes new world order for cyberspace regulation

earl grey
Bronze badge
WTF?

who stirred up amandrommars?

haven't seen that many posts in one place or in one day in quite a while;

and, what's worse, they're almost understandable...wtf with that?

2
0

Net neutrality? Bye bye, says American Pai

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Mr. Pai is NOT a dingo

I've heard he only eats a FEW babies....

0
0

Two-thirds of TV Licensing prosecutions at one London court targeted women

earl grey
Bronze badge
Stop

who opens their door to strangers?

I'm not too worried about it, but don't expect wife or kids to ever open the door to strangers.

You missed the "no trespassing" sign?

I don't know you...you need to leave now before the sheriff gets here.

6
1

We found a hidden backdoor in Chinese Internet of Things devices – researchers

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

IOT = POS

'Nuf said.

4
3

Who will banish spy-cam drones from US skies? The FAA doesn't want to do it. EPIC disagrees

earl grey
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Re: If some agency does not cough up necessary regulations....

"searched your house"

Unlikely unless legal probable cause for a search warrant and even then, if your "controller" is for your own unit they would never be able to prove you interfered with another unit... no case... no probable cause...no search

Helicopters because....

0
1

Sysadmin's sole client was his wife – and she queried his bill

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

"but the majority provide other services that they might not appreciate being paid for"

Outsourced all that - just sayin'

6
0

New UK laws address driverless cars insurance and liability

earl grey
Bronze badge
Devil

you're shafted no matter what

didn't update your software - guilty

did update your software - guilty

let your self-driving car actually self-drive - guilty

didn't use the self-driving feature - guilty

ran over 42 little kids - extra guilty

9
1

Get this: Tech industry thinks journos are too mean. TOO MEAN?!

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

blowjob journalism

Seriously? I thought IT was going to be the thing to do... Who knew?

0
0

Google agrees to break pirates' domination over music searches

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

just for a day

it would be nice if, just for a day, the "two big" search engines blocked say....

The top 1000 song artists

The top dozen music publishers

All the top "rights" groups

and returned the search with a "sorry, we can't provide that today to show you how government control of search is a bad thing..."

6
0

A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: My solution to the laptop camera

"is the humble clothes peg"

Wait a minute...you're pegging your computer... mind bleach please

9
0

Why I had to sue the FCC – VoIP granddaddy Dan Berninger

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

intel blah blah blah

The only reason Intel continued to invest and try to make better/faster chips was because they had competition from AMD for at least 5 minutes or so... the telcos still don't have competition on their home turf.

7
0

Two words, Mozilla: SPEED! NOW! Quit fiddling and get serious

earl grey
Bronze badge
Flame

scripting is what kills my FF

It's bad enough when a site has a primary script (in their name), but when I ok that and suddenly see 20 more pop up and can't see anything on the site... you're done for.

scripting is by far the biggest overhead pig in my FF... "normal" stuff is satisfactory...

2
0

2009 IBM: Teleworking will save the WORLD! 2017 IBM: Get back to the office or else

earl grey
Bronze badge
Flame

El Reg is less and less a tech site

ODFO

3
0

NORKS fires missile that India reckons it could shoot down in flight

earl grey
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Re: Good work India...

"(ignoring Calais..)"

Did that somehow magically get moved across the Channel?

5
1

Senator wants a piece of Pai: FCC boss blasted for ripping up schools, libraries internet report

earl grey
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: "have been voting Republican for generations"

"When it changed in the '60s "

That's at least 4 generations in the south...

2
0

Oracle settles court spat with fired cloud 'sales inflation whistleblower'

earl grey
Bronze badge
Mushroom

I did not lie

'fingers crossed behind back'

wankers

0
1

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017