* Posts by earl grey

1360 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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I want to buy a coffee with an app – how hard can it be?

earl grey
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Facepalm

at popular prices

I like 'em.

Thank you Benny Hill

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30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

earl grey
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Trollface

Ah you kids

now get off my lawn.

cards and 7-track tapes and no disks to speak of; truckloads of up to 6-part forms to decollate and burst. all mainframe all the time.

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Renegade 3D-printing gunsmith Cody Wilson on the run in Taipei from child sex allegations

earl grey
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Unhappy

He's being burned on this one

I can think of a couple of anti-gun billionaires who would be more than happy to set him up for a fall.

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Oz government rushes its anti-crypto legislation into parliament

earl grey
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Facepalm

what can possibly go wrong?

I know; I know....everything. again. still. as someone once famously said: "YOU DUMBASS"

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What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

earl grey
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Mushroom

What's Big and Blue

And shits all over its employees.

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earl grey
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WTF?

Re: "systematically targeted"

"It's "FACE DOWN, 9 EDGE FIRST""

Unless it's one of the 51 column readers with the extra bars on the ramp and then it's 12 edge first and face up. You had to be there.

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The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

earl grey
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Alien

what cute pouty duck lips

Wait~

Pew Pew Pew

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Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

earl grey
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Boffin

Re: Why...

"(back when dinosaurs roamed the earth)"

You had dinosaurs?

Pah! You kids. Get off my lawn.

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How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

You are old, Father Dabbs

And here i thought you were going to have Mme Dabbs give it a kiss to make it feel better.

Paris completely understands.

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You know all those movies you bought from Apple? Um, well, think different: You didn't

earl grey
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Re: not yours

"Hurting their pocket is the only way they way stop screwing people and not caring one bit"

Well, that and repeated kicks to the testicles.

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Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

earl grey
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Meh

Change is ok

As long as everything stays the same.

Seriously not as glaring as the last front page eruption, but i rather got used to the last get-up and the older i get, the more i don't like changes.

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Martian weather has cleared at last: Now NASA's wondering, will Opportunity knock?

earl grey
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Meh

I hope the little booger is still alive

It would be a shame to last so long under such difficult circumstances only to have your candle blown out by a mere dust storm.

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Sextortion scum armed with leaked credentials are persistent pests

earl grey
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Devil

spay and neuter

that is all.

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NASA 'sextortionist' allegedly tricked women into revealing their password reset answers, stole their nude selfies

earl grey
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Headmaster

bad suspension chemicals in flue shots

FLU - short for influenza.

FLUE - a duct for smoke and waste gases

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AI software may help eggheads predict where aftershocks will strike

earl grey
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Trollface

'cromulent'

How can that be just made up? I just saw it in print. It MUST be real.

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As porn site pounds hard on piracy laws, Cox pulls out prematurely

earl grey
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The biggest problem

Is that the alleged rights holders have no disincentive to not lie or file false claims. That's about the only part of the DMCA that needs fixing.

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Texas ISP slams music biz for trying to turn it into a 'copyright cop'

earl grey
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Dear Music Industry

ODFO

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Facebook Messenger backdoor demand, bail in Bitcoin, and lots more

earl grey
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Headmaster

Re: Govt Shenanigans

"stenography"

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

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When's a backdoor not a backdoor? When the Oz government says it isn't

earl grey
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Mushroom

looks like a skunk

smells like a skunk

it's only the backdoor of a Mephitis mephitis.

Don't hold your breath waiting for the stink of this to go away.

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Criminal justice software code could send you to jail and there’s nothing you can do about it

earl grey
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Trollface

A handful of pre-cog psychics in a pool of water would work too

With a toaster.

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NVMe? Well, quite. Now Intel, too, is pumping out consumer QLC SSDs

earl grey
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Headmaster

that's not the only strange thing

"52GB, 1TB and 2TB"

i know it's just a typo, but does anyone look at these any more?

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Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: About this graybeard greebos thing

council run Death Row

Well, until you're ready for soylent green processing.

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Bank on it: It's either legal to port-scan someone without consent or it's not, fumes researcher

earl grey
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Re: Scanning after login is too late; the malware could have got some login details

They already want your kidney, testicle, and access to your arse.

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Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

earl grey
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Trollface

It can all be avoided

Just make sure they're all Fembots.

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Think tank calls for post-Brexit national ID cards: The kids have phones so what's the difference?

earl grey
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FAIL

Most of the comments lean toward

ID cards - ODFO

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earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: No Excuses! @HKmk23

From the governments point of view you are all undesirables - you are just a necessary evil to pay taxes.

T, FTFY

They'll take care of the phony elections, thank you.

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Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Not in IT...

Think of The Matrix, organic batteries.

Think of The Matrix, organic batteries, and soylent green. .

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Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

earl grey
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Alert

I, for one

Welcome our new #Mistress.

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Fake prudes: Catholic uni AI bot taught to daub bikinis on naked chicks

earl grey
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Trollface

"be as erotic as road kill"

Pah, i got that one covered even when i'm covered.

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Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

earl grey
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Facepalm

1-2-3-4-5

That's the kind of combination an idiot would put on his luggage!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: 2 factor

whack you over the head in the study with the metal pipe

Er, no. I think it was in the kitchen with a knife.

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

earl grey
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Pint

Thank you

Here's to you and your successor. May you both continue to have fun with your careers and with writing (from an old timer)... now get off my lawn!

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earl grey
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Angel

Re: Booo! Booooooo!

Rebecca takes the column on to new excitements...

Oh, i thought you said excrements... never mind.

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AT&T abducts AlienVault to bolster business end of its security probing

earl grey
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Flame

I suspect this is like their last promise

You know, the one where they said they wouldn't raise rates when they acquired TW? What happened right after that went through; they raised rates. Oh, and they're still dumping employees like mad. Have to pay those exec bonuses somehow.

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Hardware rumours, goat-spanking search engines and plenty of Azure. It's last week in Redmond

earl grey
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Trollface

I am not a number!

Ah, never mind.

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Science! Luminescent nanocrystals could lead to multi-PB optical discs

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

my pron is waiting

bring it on she said.

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IBM fired me because I'm not a millennial, says axed cloud sales star in age discrim court row

earl grey
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Flame

lying scum are still lying

Why am i not surprised.

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: We expect 100% occupancy during the visit

"Do we know if she came via helicopter?"

Yes, she comes in the helicopter. Just like Barbarella.

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Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

earl grey
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Facepalm

i can remember before windows

Except it was all mainframe stuff. Yeah, i'm old.

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UK taxman has amassed voice profiles of 5.1 million taxpayers

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Give it a year

"What about Boris Johnson's two-word thought on the matter?"

I don't think "I brainless" counts as a thought.

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IBM loses mainframe docs down the back of the web, customers cry 'sabotage'

earl grey
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Facepalm

too stupid for words

as someone famously said: You Dumbass!

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BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

earl grey
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Pint

Required input

Have a few. Laughed out loud and got strange looks.

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JURI's out, Euro copyright votes in: Whoa, did the EU just 'break the internet'?

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

Hands off my pronz

And my tentacles. She knows.

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UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

earl grey
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Trollface

oh, and here's your 2 pee

Erm, i meant 2 p.

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AT&T sends in startup shill to shake up Cali's net neutrality safeguards

earl grey
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Flame

s'rsly?

Typical behaviour from a company that tried to hire washington insiders, pays off state legislators left and right, and is currently in a big campaign to purge headcount.

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Shiny new Capita boss to UK.gov: I know you are but what am I?

earl grey
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Mushroom

Have they offered to refund for all their f-ups?

Didn't think so.

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BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

earl grey
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Facepalm

WTF just happened

I just tried to up-vote a comment and a red error message popped up that said something like:

Alert the Moderatrix - The coders need to be whipped!

How old is that?

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Dinosaurs permitted to mate: But what does AT&T Time merger mean for antitrust – and you?

earl grey
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Unhappy

what does this mean to the consumer?

Back in the barrel.

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That was quick: Seattle rushes to kill tax that would mildly inconvenience Amazon

earl grey
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Flame

The last tax didn't do any good.

The last 270 million tax they laid on the public hasn't gone into any part of housing and helping the homeless like it was supposed to; so what makes anyone think THIS tax is going to actually be applied to its spoken cause? The council there is corrupt in not addressing any of the actual problems but like politicians anywhere see someone else's money as the solution to all their problems. It isn't. It never will be. The best thing that could happen to that city would be for all those big corporations to move to another city/state where idiots like these aren't in charge. When you piss off that much of the electorate to satisfy the few, you would think they were far right wing instead of far left wing politicos.

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In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Short-lived but well-received

"and in the case of porn, probably a fair proportion that is criminal evidence"

Damn straight. Those dancing bear vids are proof that someone is having a better time than i am.

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