* Posts by earl grey

1140 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Adobe will kill Flash by 2020: No more updates, support, tears, pain...

earl grey
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Angel

but, but..what about my flash pronz?

Must convert now...

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US vending machine firm plans employee chip implant scheme

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

I can't have it interfering with my right hand

She knows.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Tagging employees with chips

Well, unless you look cool; like the guy in Hitman.

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Sweden leaked every car owners' details last year, then tried to hush it up

earl grey
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Unhappy

Re: America... no, the world, stranger than fiction!

Just so you know about Love Canal...

It was a clay sealed chem dump that met all the standards of the time and place.

It was donated to the city/school district for putting a school on top of only and was NOT supposed to be dug down into.

Some greedy wanker in the city/school saw all that wonderful vacant land sitting there and figured they could make a ton of money selling it off for housing lots.

The builders dug down through the clay seal and put in basements and VOILA! chemicals leaking into everything!

Raise a big stink any way you want, but the original canal served its purpose as originally constructed and if not dug into would still be sealed up tight today with none of the problems. The property should have been permanently noted on title transfer as being a former chem dump. I don't know if that happened or not and what subsequent "cleansing" of the records may have happened for the sales to progress. And yes, it sucked for those who bought property there.

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: For that you need (new term) OLED

"Or Enhanced Bass sound"

Would that be the Enhanced Billy Bass talking fish sound?

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: "weaved"

"But there's also the people who say "I have went"."

Everyone knows it's I done gone.

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

earl grey
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Devil

Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

Gaaah...I can hear that playing in my head now.

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HMS Frigatey Mcfrigateface given her official name

earl grey
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Trollface

City class names are ok

Thank your stars they aren't being named for the residents of No 10, or we would have HMS Bint.

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190 Cray employees hosed down with shower of pink slippery

earl grey
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Unhappy

pink slippery

Is that like the pink slime stuff? Same result I guess.

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AI bots will kill us all! Or at least may seriously inconvenience humans

earl grey
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Trollface

Ox cart speeds

Pah! Everyone knows that ox carts should never exceed the speed of a sheep in a vacuum (or warp 9.9).

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John McAfee plans to destroy Google. Details? Ummm...

earl grey
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Devil

Re: I'm a statistic

Thank you. Frankly, that was the first thing that popped into my head on reading this article.

I'm number 69.

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

earl grey
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Devil

OMG, I'm warped for life.

No I'm not. ODFO

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: What about the shark?

Yeah, yeah. Next thing you'll be telling us is the shark is delivering candygrams.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: ... suspenders

I guess it all depends on whether your mean "boy" suspenders or "girl" suspenders now, don't it??

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earl grey
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Facepalm

Same whingers who don't like the new female Jane Tennison

After all, the old one was, erm... wait a mo....

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earl grey
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Trollface

Miss Marple played by

Maybe Dame Edna

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earl grey
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Devil

Doctor Nurse

For some reason makes me think of Doctor Girlfriend.

I know, not related at all; just two random brain cells rubbing together.

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Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

earl grey
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Facepalm

Watch out where the huskies go

You'll have more than yellow ice.

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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

Re: Cars withe EULA

"tracking your eye movements"

I just hope they're not tracking my hand movements.

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earl grey
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Trollface

"Inside the trunk of an autonomous vehicle"

Inside the trunk? What is this, an elephant?

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Brit teen accused of running malware factory and helpdesk for crims

earl grey
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Facepalm

I can hardly wait for the defense.

he's got arseholers, erm...

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Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

earl grey
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Pint

"elucidated in 1925"

That impressed the hella out of me. Even though they're probably no longer around; drinks to those 1925 boffins.

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

earl grey
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Pint

just in time for the weekend

Have one (or more, as necessary).

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New work: Algorithms to give self-driving cars 'impulsive' human 'ethics'

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Pick your ethics

Can we make it a game for points? Death race 2000 style? Ms. May riding on a albino drop bear on the back of jeremy. More points if you get 'em all.

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earl grey
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Devil

yeah, i'm not quite ready

For a car that sacrifices me for toddlers, pensioners, bikers, or anyone else in the road who doesn't belong on the lane i'm in. no thank you.

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Tape lives! The tape archive bit bucket is becoming bottomless

earl grey
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Trollface

All well and good

But if it can't read my TR-4 tapes, it won't do me any good.

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

earl grey
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Trollface

In a word - Fembots

It's worth a shot.

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Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

earl grey
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Devil

Re: El Reg reached out ...

I think they meant reached out with a bat. A couple of good hits might knock some sense into someone at MS.

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PCs will get pricier and you're gonna like it, say Gartner market shamans

earl grey
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Trollface

appetite for better components.

so, no windows 10 then?

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Extreme trainspotting on Britain's highest (and windiest) railway

earl grey
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Pint

Thank you

Liked this a lot. Reminded me to go look up some info on the five inclines they used to have in Cincinnati that i saw the remnants of maybe 45 years ago. Brakes be a good think when you read about those old systems.

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Photobucket says photo-f**k-it, starts off-site image shakedown

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

Re: Lolwut

"in your circumscribed universe"

Sorry, i read that as circumcised and didn't understand what all the snipping was about.

Maybe she knows.

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earl grey
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Trollface

rattlesnake in a pinata... ®

Ok, I'll bite...erm....

New keyboard please; I may have to borrow that phrase. Let me know where to send the payments.

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Wanna tap 3 MEELLION phone calls? All it takes is one measly warrant

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Wanna tap 3 MEELLION phone calls?

I think i just got the nauseam part just reading that.

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Exposed pipes – check. Giant pillows – check. French startup mega-campus opens

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Just wondering

That's actually pedobear. Good to see they have all the bases covered.

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French general accused of nicking fast jet for weekend trips to the Sun

earl grey
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Facepalm

want

Want that little baby jet in my garage for weekend trips to... erm, it's all for business.

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Search results suddenly missing from Google? Well, BLAME CANADA!

earl grey
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Mushroom

Re: No results for Equustek

Google could easily return zero results on a search for "bleep" and claim they have no way to differentiate between legit and illegit references.

Nice little business you had there; too bad nobody can find it any more. Let them use BING!

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Breaking news, literally: Newspaper's quakebot rumbled for fake story

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

I thought i felt something.

She said i was all wet.

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Linus Torvalds slams 'pure garbage' from 'clowns' at grsecurity

earl grey
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Flame

Dear Whingers,

ODFO

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Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

earl grey
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Unhappy

"idiot was a nutter who had mental issues "

That's pretty much every religion. And yes, they're all over the world.

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Genoans flout terror ban with bumper basil hand baggage policy

earl grey
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Facepalm

Mint sauce for Wales.

I've heard of mind sauce for mutton, but never seen a big enough barrel for a whale, much less a pod.

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BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

earl grey
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Pint

time for a few

Have more than one to start the weekend correctly.

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Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: That's why the EU has started Galileo...

That fully operational reminds me of some other space based thing....

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: What a load of crap @Mike 125

IT STINKS!

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BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

earl grey
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Pint

reinforcements

as required

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Banking websites are 'littered with trackers' ogling your credit risk

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Not surprising

So sorry. I read: " raw server logs" as raw sewage logs.

It's probably about the same.

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Five Eyes nations stare menacingly at tech biz and its encryption

earl grey
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FAIL

Re: Guarantee a backdoor into every PC in a country and they will come.

My kids never had tantrums because they simply weren't allowed. period. no exceptions and no extremes.

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earl grey
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Flame

Privacy = virginity

Once it's gone; it's gone forever. It doesn't matter when, how, who, or what kind of story you have about it; it's gone.

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PC, Ethernet and tablet computer pioneer 'Chuck' Thacker passes

earl grey
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Unhappy

Another loss for mankind

We're getting poorer by the day. Condolences to friends and family.

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Speaking in Tech: Googlers don't like googling. It's a fool's gerund*

earl grey
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Coat

You need a gerundtologist

I'll get me coat.

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IBM will soon become sole gatekeepers to the realm of tape – report

earl grey
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Unhappy

I miss tape for my PC

Yes, tape. And no, I'm not trolling.

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