* Posts by earl grey

1252 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Careful with the 'virtual hugs' says new FreeBSD Code of Conduct

earl grey
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Devil

You have to put the onus on people not to offend.

You point your onus at me and I'll stick my boot in it.

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KFC: Enemy of waistlines, AI, arteries and logistics software

earl grey
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Mushroom

Oh Look! A new FOAD sign!

GGGAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Roses are red, Windows error screens are blue. It's 2018, and an email can still pwn you

earl grey
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Gimp

More likely you're dying of dysentery

your mother is a robot.

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Talk down to Siri like she's a mere servant – your safety demands it

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: You read ElReg at work

"my professional body" says i need a lie down.

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It took us less than 30 seconds to find banned 'deepfake' AI smut on the internet

earl grey
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Trollface

pearl-clutching horror

Are you sure those are pearls?

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BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

earl grey
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Pint

TGIF

Beer time.

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CLOUD Act hits Senate to lube up US access to data stored abroad

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: What's next? Lets see - America-Fuck-Yeah

Make your time!

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MPs: Lack of technical skills for Brexit could create 'damaging, unmanageable muddle'

earl grey
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Facepalm

"Without BMWs and Audis, how will we know which twits to look out for on the roads?"

Looks around for the douchebag driving a Lexus...

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Of course a mystery website attacking city-run broadband was run by an ISP. Of course

earl grey
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Flame

customer service

every time i hear that phrase i'm reminded of what my dad always said:

service is what a bull gives a cow.

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Web searching died the day they invented SEO

earl grey
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Trollface

"you can find anything on the internet"

You're mis-spelling pr0nz.

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IBM: About those agreed voluntary redundancies ... we were just kidding

earl grey
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Flame

on-shore = 0% - off-shore=100%

job(s) sorted

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Dori-no! PepsiCo boss says biz is planning to sell lady crisps

earl grey
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Paris Hilton

Never mind eating the crumbly parts

The best is wetting a finger and sliding around the bottom of the bag to collect all the tasty bits.

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earl grey
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Devil

Re: Do project managers live in the world?

Have to laugh as there's a mess of those type tools that some company donated to the Habitat Restore where I volunteer. They sell them every once in a while, but i try to convince males that it will keep other blokes from fondling their tools.

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No, Windows 10 hasn’t beaten Windows 7’s market share. Not for sure, anyway

earl grey
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Mushroom

Re: MS is not the one to worry here

"they are afraid to demand anything of MS. Why?"

Because they don't want to get bent over the barrel like IBM did back in the early days.

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South Wales cops crow about facial recognition arrests on social media

earl grey
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FAIL

Re: Ah.. Wales, the comedy gold continues.

Theresa May face-mask

Ah, you'll be wound up and spending some time in chokey mate.

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earl grey
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Trollface

Re: More worrying for the welsh

two thirds of it going to the Welsh Assembly.

well that's a lot of smoking they're going to be doing. guessing that work will come 3rd or 4th.

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earl grey
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Trollface

inquiring minds want to know

Is that south atlantic wales or south pacific wales?

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1,900 rotten apps bounced out of Google Play every day in 2017

earl grey
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Trollface

"disguised as fun for kids. ®"

How do we know they're not fun?

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Can't login to Skype? You're not alone. Chat app's been a bit crap for five days now

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: "the problem is limited to a small number of customers"

how many of you live in a town with 30k inhabitants

I do (as someone once famously said).

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UK.gov mass data slurping ruled illegal – AGAIN

earl grey
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Devil

Re: So if it was illegal, who is going to jail?

Don't hold your breath.

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Borked bog forces flight carrying 83 plumbers to bug out back to base

earl grey
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Trollface

Did you say they left from Stoolbend?

Or did they return?

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No parcel drones. No robo-trucks – Teamsters driver union delivers its demands to UPS

earl grey
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Trollface

What happens when humans get dead-ended?

They go into IT?

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earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Horse carts vs delivery trucks again.

They're out on their ass.

I saw what you did there...

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Driverless cars will lead to data-sharing – of the electrical kind

earl grey
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Devil

It's all chicanery

Are they as least wearing a rubber?

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RIP Ursula K Le Guin: The wizard of Earthsea

earl grey
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Unhappy

RIP

Sadly, RIP.

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: @ onefang

And now your conversion to the dark side is complete.

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earl grey
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Happy

Sprouts - love 'em

Apparently i'm the only one in the house who does, though.

As for parts? Still have my QIC drive and tapes, dual floppy drive, hordes of cables and old drives.

But wait! There's more. Boxes of screws, nails, nuts, bolts in various sizes, shapes, and metals (steel, copper, brass, bronze, aluminium); miscellaneous hardware (hammer head wedges) and saw handle bolts.

My only collecting problem is not enough space.

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earl grey
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Facepalm

Wooden toast tongs

What? You don't just use the butter knife?

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Talk about a positive mental pl-attitude: WD Ultrastars shed disks without hit to capacity

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: SSD manufacturers' olde saying

I want to know how they get the platypus in there.

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Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

earl grey
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Unhappy

Re: Clarity required

"increasing the provision of healthcare and of women's empowerment"

That won't be the US then.

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HTML5 may as well stand for Hey, Track Me Longtime 5. Ads can use it to fingerprint netizens

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: If

Always liked that movie.

Wait, what were we talking about?

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Flying on its own, Thunderbird seeks input on new look

earl grey
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Angel

Pah, you kids

I was ....blah blah blah... before the beginning.

Crinoid

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1980s sci-fi movies: The thrill of being not quite terrified on mum's floral sofa

earl grey
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Alien

Klaatu barada nikto

I know what i like.

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Where did all that water go? Mars was holding it wrong, say boffins

earl grey
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Happy

where have all the waters gone?

Where have all the waters gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the waters gone?

Long time ago...

apologies to Pete Seeger

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FBI tells Jo(e) Sixpack to become an expert in IoT security

earl grey
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Happy

Re: Continuous product and service improvement

"Merry Christmas. You're fried."

Erm, not yet, but i'm working on it. Happy solstice to you, too.

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Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Meatbag option

" they can file it in the same place they do now"

So it'll become bog roll. Got it.

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Brrr! It's a snow day and someone has pwned the chuffin' school heating

earl grey
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Facepalm

Re: Lucky little sods

And walk uphill both to and from school in the snow.

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IBM to expunge over 500 people in latest redundo round

earl grey
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Flame

"drive a series of accelerated..."

Yeah, well they're driving something; but it's pointed, barbed, and very abrasive and i can tell you where it's going.

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earl grey
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Mushroom

Re: Optional

Yes, lose your redundancy package.

Oh, you mean getting buggered every day until you go out the door?

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Rogue PIs found guilty of illegally snagging personal financial info

earl grey
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Flame

Now, who's up for checking out the credit reporting agencies?

Thought not. A little time in chokey might change their attitude.

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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

earl grey
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Angel

Re: What no-one has mentioned yet... - DRUMS

When i first started with a certain employer years ago they had Unisys 494's running in 490 mode with Fastrand drums as well as 432 and 1782 drums. The Fastrand were two huge drums with a controller cabinet and in total weighed in around 6000 pounds. The floor tiles buckled a bit when they got moved, but i don't recall any collapses. BIggest danger was always getting a tie caught in a printer (or in my case at one place, getting a hand caught in a decollater).

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Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

earl grey
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Unhappy

"Over to you all."

Erm, i read that as "all over you". No thanks.

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No, BMW, petrol-engined cars don't 'give back to the environment'

earl grey
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Facepalm

gives back to the environment

Yeah, my spreader does that down on the farm. Gives all that shite right back to good mother earth.

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Car rental firms told: Tell your customers about in-car data slurps

earl grey
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Trollface

Thank googly for a rotary dial

Guess I'll never have to worry about my phone data being slurped.

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IBM does what IBM does best: Raises the chopper again

earl grey
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Mushroom

Re: To all employees: Merry Christmas...

P.S Trebles all round?

I think you mean Tribbles. They're going to be stuffing them up your fanny so best be prepared.

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BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs

earl grey
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Pint

Have one

And then have another.

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Fear not, driverless car devs, UK.gov won't force you to write Trolley Problem solutions

earl grey
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FAIL

You're all missing the real point

In actuality, the trolley problem involves another party - YOU, the passenger. I don't ever want the car deciding on its own to not run over the old lady and to not run over the cyclist and instead to run into a brick wall with me inside the tin coffin.

Death Race 2000

just sayin'

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Windows Update borks elderly printers in typical Patch Tuesday style

earl grey
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Trollface

Re: Dot Matrix, that takes me back.

Chain printers and band printers back in theh 60s and 70s, but most of them were connected to mainframes (OF here). Even some stand alone solid drum types. Thankfully no windows software to deal with.

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earl grey
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Angel

Re: Dot Matrix ?

Part of Spaceballs (1987). Played by Joan Rivers.

I'm more of a Barf fan myself.

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BT plots to slash pension benefits for 32,000 staff

earl grey
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Flame

damage our ability to invest

And to give out handfuls of money to the c levels and loads of dosh to shareholder. As usual, screw the grunts. they can all DIAF.

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