* Posts by DJ Smiley

386 posts • joined 14 Sep 2011

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Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

DJ Smiley

Re: Douglas Adams already pondered thusly...

He'd have seen the inverse relationship between thickness of banana slice, and value associated with and launched the 'bananot' - a banana cut into strips so thin, you wouldn't believe they exist other than the fact they come in a gold plated (warning, not real gold, just some yellow paint) presentation box. Only $1000!

Also available is the 'bananot' which comes in the larger box, and so has more room with it, only $2500!

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Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

DJ Smiley

I find this story very odd.

So the tapes either weren't reading at all, or were reading as different tapes to the ones in the drive - fine.

Now if they weren't reading at all, and to robot thought there was no tape, then surely it would of become very obvious once the robot went to retrieve the tape from the drive, and failed because 'I can't find the tape!'

Terrible debugging and reporting is what caused this problem, exasperated by a customer using unsupported hardware.

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What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

DJ Smiley

Re: Let's be real here.

Ok but what if they show up exhausted, because they have kids and they were up all night screaming?

My point is, that the effect on their work from exhaustion is the same as that of being drunk.

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DJ Smiley
Pint

Re: A certain bias, there

It takes me 10 minutes to get to work.

I could easily down a Pint, come to work, still have it in my system.

Nothing wrong with a Pint before work at 8am! ;)

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DJ Smiley

Re: Precision

"Besides: 0.95*0.95 = 0.9025 which doesn't round to 0.91 at any precision.

If you use (248/260)*(247/260) for full precision, that comes out as 0.906154 which may be where you get your 0.91 from, but the article doesn't make that clear."

" which doesn't round to 0.91 at any precision"

So does it, or not

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Nailing a cloud project without killing Bob boils down to not being a tool

DJ Smiley

Re: Funny, that same script could have been said of any large IT project to do anything

There's a simple explanation to why as well. No project will ever be 100% successful.

No project large enough be taken on by them, would ever be complete in a timeline that they operate in (4, 8 years, etc).

Therefore, any (every) project passed over to someone else, is doomed to have it's failure shouted from the rooftops, as the other guy dropping the ball. Even the ones that _do_ go well!.

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We went to Nadella's launch of Hit Refresh so you didn't have to

DJ Smiley

Re: Will it be viewed cynically as corporate propaganda?

Pick it up was my first thought.... quickly followed by 'and look up' -- because when it's raining babies, they're coming from somewhere/someone.

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Vibrating walls shafted servers at a time the SUN couldn't shine

DJ Smiley

Did anyone else expect something else?

Walls vibrating? Middle of the night? Was I the only one expecting something else about where the sun didn't shine? ;)

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DJ Smiley

Re: I call bull

erm, yes it would, the same way solar flares can flip bits.

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Patch alert! Easy-to-exploit flaw in Linux kernel rated 'high risk'

DJ Smiley

Re: "An unprivileged local user"

They don't mean physically local I believe, you can pull this off just as easily on a vps.

Just a non-privileged user.

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'Alexa, play Charlie Bit My Finger.' I can't do that, Dave. No, really

DJ Smiley

Re: Linking to an autoplay video, WTF El Reg.

It didn't play here, wtf! I WANT IT.

2
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Is this cough cancer, doc? No: it's a case of Playmobil on the lung

DJ Smiley

Re: Oh, Lester, your presence is missed.

I stuck either a piece of lego (is what my Mum says it was) or Popeye's head (which is what I remember it being), from a kinder-egg up my nostril, and had to go to hospital to have it removed.

Funny how we remember these things.

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Check in my all-flash server-storage system? You must be mad! I'm taking it on-board

DJ Smiley

Re: Hand luggage its not...

The option we legitimately used flying servers to/from Ireland was buying a seat for them. My boss used to tell me how he'd enjoy having the extra space, with the rack server just sat up against the window.

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Google to kill its Drive file locker in two confusing ways

DJ Smiley

Because creating a folder on your C:\ called backups, and dumping everything in it as you did before, is too hard?

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HSBC biz banking crypto: The case of the vanishing green padlock and... what domain are we on again?

DJ Smiley

No one ever logged into a banking site, to give said banking site more money, only ever to take it away.

Suddenly the fact they don't work very well is obviously never going to get fixed, as it'll never drive any more profits.

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Dolphins inspire ultrasonic attacks that pwn smartphones, cars and digital assistants

DJ Smiley

So long, and thanks for all the tuna!

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DJ Smiley

Dialing an number is a great attack

Steps to execute:

1. register with dodgy provider of premium rate numbers.

2. stand in busy shopping center running this.

3. $$$$$$$

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It's happening! Official retro Thinkpad lappy spotted in the wild

DJ Smiley

I've got one of these at home I think. I was given it as a 'gift' from a old boss when I left (it was my work laptop and he left me keep it). I installed gentoo on it a few months ago, and it's still as nippy and useful as ever.

The one thing that works really well for me, is the fact there's a 'forward facing' bevel on the edge of the screen when it's raised, this means when it's closed, it actually protects from dust/dirt/paper from sliding in between the screen and keyboard causing mess. Odd reason to like it I know, but it just makes it feel more like someone actually thought about what they were designing with this,

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Crypto-busters reverse nearly 320 MEELLION hashed passwords

DJ Smiley

Re: Not really correct

Except it is, if every site used a different salt and encryption, but they don't because (they are dumb and don't add salts) and we constantly tell them to use encryption X because it's the best right now.

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P≠NP proof fails, Bonn boffin admits

DJ Smiley

Re: Of course P≠NP....

.... did he forget to test for 0, 1 and other obvious examples then? :/

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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

DJ Smiley

A couch?!

What kind of boss buys you a COUCH?!

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CyberRehab's mission? To clean up the internet, one ASN block at a time

DJ Smiley

Re: A nice idea, but...

Ok

What's to stop me claiming you did bad thing X, and Y to me? Now you've been disconnected. Good bye.

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Western Digital hauls out weighty tome with 20TB external storage

DJ Smiley

Re: Three year warranty

Or just remember that RAID is not a backup, and neither is something you can write to as easily as this.

A backup is secure (i.e not accessible accidentally), remote, and duplicated to separate locations.

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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

DJ Smiley

Re: Something worth remembering

My old college lecturer used to like reminding us how this happened to him, he saw people drinking from a stream, half hour walk up the stream, and there was a pile of dead rotting sheep in it...

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London 'not-spots' look out! Mayor wants team to tackle crap signal

DJ Smiley

Re: Ask Google?

No no, our network is flawless!

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Dark web doesn't exist, says Tor's Dingledine. And folks use network for privacy, not crime

DJ Smiley

Considering you can't track 'users' on tor, you're only tracking connections of said users.

Now, 1 user can be many hundreds of connections, and also 3% of a networks connections are 'bad'.... that's quite high now you're considering how many connections signify how many users...

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Nest security camera captures landlord's romp on tenants' bed

DJ Smiley
Boffin

Camera positioning....

Why is no one questioning the fact this guys camera is pointed not at his door, or anything else of interest in his flat, but at his bed?

**I guess maybe they'd suspected something had happened previously but still....**

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Google goes home to Cali to overturn Canada's worldwide search result ban

DJ Smiley

Re: Extra-territorial control

China, the most populace country in the world?

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DJ Smiley

Re: Extra-territorial control

Did you really just compare this to Sharia Law?

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DJ Smiley

If they've disappeared, what's the point of making google kill the urls? It doesn't add up.

Almost like a lawyer somewhere realised they could spin this whole thing out for a couple of years...

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

DJ Smiley

I work on a service desk...

And I get thanked almost daily.

It's rarely any more than a quick 'Thanks!' on the phone, occasionally an email to my boss or whatever tho.

I guess it's because I do my best to not be little anyone, even if they don't have any IT knowledge...

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Virgin Media broadband latency headaches still not fixed six months on

DJ Smiley

Re: Wheres offcom?

This, so many times over.

I actually built my own gentoo router to try my skills out and used it like this. Was beautiful. Eventually I shelved it when we moved house, but I'm planning to pickup a good router with QoS again as soon as I can afford one.

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DJ Smiley

Re: Bye bye Virgin

After that huge pointless rant, care to tell me who does care about their customers? Because it isn't Sky, BT, Vodafone, EE, Orange, O2, Virgin, Purenet, Zen or any of the others I can find...

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China's 'future-proof' crypto: We talk to firm behind crazy quantum key distribution network

DJ Smiley

Re: Shared key?

Ok.

So the stream is sent, the end point reads it, it says ABC.

Now instead, a middle man reads it first.

Stream starts off 'random'.

Middleman reads it, it now shows 'ABC'.

End point reads it, it still shows 'ABC'.

I'm unsure what's not being explained properly here, but something isn't. How can they check if the quantum state has been decided or not, if simply observing it will cause said state to be decided?

'We know the cat is dead, because we opened the box to check on the cat!' -- There's no proof the cat was ever alive. In the same vain, there's no proof in this system, that it's actually doing any of the things it claims to do. It could just be AES-256, and still be secure enough that no one else on earth can crack it...

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Sysadmin bloodied by icicle that overheated airport data centre

DJ Smiley

Re: Welcome to the UK

LOL.

Trust me, not all councils planning and buildings apartments are as good as yours. Here we've got amazon building a warehouse for 24/7 working, while promising us that the trucks won't have reversing alarms (a fact that'll only be in enforcement on our site, and these alarms generally can't be turned off for obvious reasons), that the overflow that occurs every time it rains, but never occurred before the building work started, is _nothing_ to do with the building of said warehouse, and the fact it's at least 3 small round about's away from any major road meaning the silent lorries are going to have extreme fun navigating around this little village (many small windy roads with 1400's architecture - so 6 foot thick sandstone walls and such - they will win against lorries ;))

Also, septic tanks can be setup with soakaways depending on the amount of waste they're expecting and the proximity to things such as rivers and boreholes.

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Breaking news, literally: Newspaper's quakebot rumbled for fake story

DJ Smiley

How about validating input such as the date of the event?!

Why a script takes a event that has claimed to happen 8 years in the future, and publishes it, is beyond me.

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Queen's speech announces laws to protect personal data

DJ Smiley

Re: Ex-queen

Errr

She could abdicate.

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Tesla death smash probe: Neither driver nor autopilot saw the truck

DJ Smiley

Re: I hate them stealth trucks

The faulty sensor here, wasn't part of the car...

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DJ Smiley

'Giving warnings that can be ignored is pointless...'

Pretty sure the law states you are responsible for your car when driving, no matter what systems exist around it (and Captains of Boats and Planes have the same thing - even with Autopilot.)

Rules, advise and laws all exist, doesn't mean everyone will obey them.

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DJ Smiley

Re: Bleh

Even more amusing was the fact his name was Tom.

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Please do not scare the pigeons – they'll crash the network

DJ Smiley

The mystery of the internet that only worked when in the dark.

I used to work on a service desk where we'd support a large chain of pharmacy stores in the UK, we had many such stories such as keyboards that only started working when you'd first flipped them upside down (The trick being that the cable in the back would come loose, and doing this pushed it back into position).

However the weirdest call I experienced was a store who told me, their internet only ever worked if they sat in darkness in the back office. The moment they turned the lights on, the internet would break. I have no idea how they originally discovered this fact, but from much testing it turned out to be true - turning the lights on in the back office caused the 56k modem to completely drop the line.

We swapped out all the equipment, part by part, wondering what on earth was going on, the modem was fine, as was the computer itself, the entire network in fact being faultless other than this very strange behaviour.

Eventually we had to call out BT to come and look at the phone lines, and for a few weeks they kept coming back after making changes to the phone line but no one could explain what was happening. In the end we had a higher up engineer turn up who had some EE expertise. He suggested they replace the bulbs and ballast in the florescent lamps they had in their back office. Instantly the problem was resolved! I'm not sure of the exact details, but basically the lights coming on was creating a charge on the phone line, large enough that it caused disconnections each time the lights were turned on.

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Break crypto to monitor jihadis in real time? Don't be ridiculous, say experts

DJ Smiley

You've got a list of people...

So take the devices off them and ban them from using them.

Oh wait, that's not PC right? because blowing people up is....

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Cloud eye for the sysadmin guy: Get tooled up proper, like

DJ Smiley

Indeed, @Author - there's nothing wrong with naming and shaming who to stay away from, and who you used (who were actually useful in the end)!

As long as there was no freebies thrown in, then it's all good - who should we be looking to for our training needs?

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First-day-on-the-job dev: I accidentally nuked production database, was instantly fired

DJ Smiley

I've done this... almost!

I've done almost this. I didn't get sacked on the spot, the company learnt from it, we found some bugs in production too!

Basically I wiped out the entire testing enviroment's DB (Which was a copy of the live DB) on my 2nd day in a job. I had my boss sat with me, and we were seeing how 'good' the documentation was (not great!), for doing an upgrade of the environment. He wanted someone with no experience of the process to undertake it, to see how well it'd go. (It didn't go well, clearly!)

One of the lines was slightly unclear, stating to delete some files, I personally misread this - after asking the boss for verbal confirmation and not understanding him either, and deleted the entire db, nuking the environment.

They considered restoring from a backup but for various reasons this was decided against, and instead decided to then test out the 'build out a new env' documentation instead - from this it was discovered that a lot of the binary processes in the live db (which the testing one was built from) were in fact broken anyway and the entire stack required a whole lot of fixing. I ended up leaving about 9 months later when something similar went wrong and I decided I couldn't take the stress of 'screwing up a million customer records' by a simple finger slip up. Prior to leaving I'd be working on scripting away a lot of this processing because I felt it was a danger for the company to be doing all this manually - not sure that ever got finished... Maybe said redditor took over my old job? ;)

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El Reg straps on the Huawei Watch 2

DJ Smiley

Re: Reasons to be Wear-y

The idea you're listening to music while riding infinitely scares me.

While you may be one of the safety conscious who actually have headphones which allow you to hear traffic and such, or you don't ride on roads making the point mute - but 90% of cyclists who use this kit are on the road, and really shouldn't be :/

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Drones over London caused aviation chaos, pilots' reports reveal

DJ Smiley

No matter how you approach it.....

It's difficult to see what can be done.

2m across is a pretty big drone, someone some where will of seen this taking off. However the question really is, what do you do about them - you can't just 'shoot them down' or any such thing as the danger of it landing on someone is real (even if unlikely) and while the loss of said drone would be a deterrent it still wouldn't stop a bad actor from using one to do some real damage.

I honestly don't see the problem with licencing drone users, the same way HAM radio users are licences - with a test if required. While I believe 'some/most' drone manufacturers are saying they have put in (or are going to put in) means to stop the drones going into these such areas, clearly it hasn't happened yet, or isn't working.

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Google now mingles everything you've bought with everywhere you've been

DJ Smiley

They came for my data.... and I gave it them.

In return they gave me useful/fun services.

I'd much prefer to be able to 'correct' the data they have on me, at least then I might get relevant adverts :(

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Network-sniffing, automation, machine learning: How to get better threat intel

DJ Smiley

Until we can get the basic's right....

We can't go any further.

Finally some actual realistic fines - lets just hope they get enforced.

Wannacrypt hitting 100k pc's shows that systems just aren't patched. And why? After all currently there's no more than a slap on the wrist generally from the ICO for being breached. Once the fines some how match the impact to the people who's data is being released, then we'll see rapid improvements.

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O2 will be carrying out UK IoT connectivity trials later this year

DJ Smiley

Good to see we've already all upgraded to smart meters before this comes along

Good to see we've already all upgraded to smart meters before this comes along,

Ideally making sure in 5-10 years we need to upgrade again, to use this tech as the old stuff is turned off ;)

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You think your day was bad? OS X malware hackers just swiped a Mac dev's app source

DJ Smiley

Re: Lost ?

Also there seems to be no warning to all the people who are now using what basically amounts to 'infected' apps. As there was time when these apps source code was accessible, and could have been changed - if there's been any release or update in that time, bad times!

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