* Posts by wolfetone

3268 posts • joined 6 Aug 2011

Your connection is not Brexit... we mean private: UK Tory party lets security cert expire

wolfetone Silver badge
Trollface

What's the issue? This is a "strong and stable" Government, that's what they've told us. Not once have they said they were "strong, stable, secure, up-to-date, modern, of the people, forward thinking, human".

Smartphones' security enhancements just make them more dangerous

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"Safety full stop" would begin by not buying them at all.

Yahooooo! says! its! email! is! scrahoooo-ed!

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Pint

Lovely to see some creativity with headlines relating to Yahoo! in 2018!

UK.gov admits porn age checks could harm small ISPs and encourage risky online behaviour

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Re: Don't know if I'm alone on this, but I'm of the opinion

You're not alone. I think the same thing.

The reality is, like I've said before, parents don't know what their kids are up to but they don't want to know either. If something then happens then it's someone else's fault, not the parent's fault. We have already seen this in cases where parents are moaning about their child racking up £2,000 on the household credit card "without their knowledge" and it's the game maker's/Apple/Googles fault. It isn't the fault of the parent that they let their child play with something they don't understand nor supervise.

Amazon: Intel Meltdown patch will slow down your AWS EC2 server

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Re: maybe it's time to re-consider server-side inefficiency

"I think BB's point was that if you were losing performance from Meltdown mitigation you might be able to "reclaim it elsewhere by optimising userland."

You mean like replacing shitty devs that can't write efficient SQL if their life depended on it. That will never happen, because that other dev who can do that actually costs $$. You can have 3 shitty devs for the price of one good one.

This is not a technical issue, this is a management issue (or a lack of having a competent one)."

This is how I interpretted his response. Although for different reasons that you've pointed out.

There is a tendancy now, as we're in a "golden age" of server performance to allow sloppy coding and/or coding decisions to be made, which are hidden by the super duper speed of the server the application/code is running on.

Back when I started in web development I was still on dial up and I didn't know many people who had ADSL or even ISDN. So when I coded websites they were optimised to load as quickly as possible on poor internet connections. Now though, while I still work in that mentality, there are developers who are either fresh out of university or get hard on's over the next new cool thing who load sites and applications with bloated shit that doesn't do anything more than make something pop up from the bottom of the screen. They've never had to develop for slower connections, or they simply think that because everyone should be on faster internet connections that their bandwidth can handle the bloat they're adding.

But if you say that in a public place, like BB and myself did, those voting down who are offended the most are the ones most guilty of such crimes.

IBM lobs sueball at travel site Expedia for using some old Prodigy patents

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Re: Isn't this...

I think one of the Big Blue execs had a bad experience with a hotel or something on their Christmas holidays, and they've decided to really get them back by throwing this sue ball.

Wannabe W1 DOW-er faked car crash to track down reg plate's owner

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It's a pity C0 CK is banned for the chap.

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Re: And what about the DVLA?

Why would the DVLA do something logical and helpful like that?

And we return to Munich's migration back to Windows - it's going to cost what now?! €100m!

wolfetone Silver badge

They must have money to burn in Munich. Or money in brown envelopes to collect.

Proposed Brit law to ban b**tards brandishing bots to bulk-buy tickets

wolfetone Silver badge

Would be easier and cheaper to ban ticket touting full stop. But that would make too much sense.

Captain Morgan told off for Snapchat lens: That grog be aimed at kiddies

wolfetone Silver badge

They do have users over 18.

However, their motives for being on such a platform is questionable IMHO.

Brazil says it has bagged Royal Navy flagship HMS Ocean for £84m

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Coat

I wouldn't say so.

The Brazilians could definitely put a landing strip on top of it if they wanted.

UK security chief: How 'bout a tax for tech firms that are 'uncooperative' on terror content?

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You can't blame them for creating the problem to a point. But things like Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria are all modern enough to blame current politicians for.

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"Wallace said that inaction from internet giants means the cost of tackling terror content is "heaped on law enforcement agencies" – and the state should be able to recoup that in some way."

Just imagine the work and money they would've saved themselves if they hadn't gone in all guns blazing on various countries in the middle east.

Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

wolfetone Silver badge

Only if you write it as Cunt. Because then they are a cunt. But if you write CUNT, and they start saying "Why are you calling us a cunt?" then you can say "That isn't the word cunt, it's the acronym CUNT, which stands for Computer User Needs Training".

You can then use the acronym TWOT (Totally Wasted Our Time).

wolfetone Silver badge

"Aren't Titsup and Cunt a firm of lawyers, who specialise in defending companies like Crapita when accused of failing to fulfill their contracts?"

You're getting confused with the solicitors "Wright Hassall". Genuine law firm in Warwickshire.

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Probably my favourite of all the acronyms, even more than TITSUP and CUNT.

Cloud-building alien space rays altered Earth's climate – boffins

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Re: Science is awesome...

"Jack Daniels is a Tennessee sour mash whiskey (it says so on the bottle). As I heard it, when whisky making in Scotland changed Irish and American distillers wanted to distinguish their product from what they saw as an inferior way of making whisky, by adding an 'e'. Personally, I all for single malt whisky, but that may just be me,"

I agree. Single malts are far superior. The only exception to that is Jamesons, Powers and Paddy whiskies. All blended yes but bloody lovely.

wolfetone Silver badge
Pint

Re: Science is awesome...

It'll be an icy cold day in hell before I ever refer to the bourbon Jack Daniels & co a "whiskey".

Although, granted, I used whiskey in reference to whisky made in Scotland, it should be noted that the "e" in whiskey identifies it as Irish.

Merry *hic* Christmas

*hic*

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: Science is awesome...

Not so fast, the beer needs to be put on ice for a moment.

I would like the scientists to tell me whether or not the space rays are more polluting to the atmosphere than my Corolla. If they are, then I'll give them a bottle of whiskey of their choice (as long as it's not Bells or Teachers, because they're shite).

'Please store the internet on this floppy disk'

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Yeah, I'm sure it was "Andre", not you Mr.Graham Linehan. And I'm sure the user in question wasn't called Jen.

Yes, your old iPhone is slowing down: iOS hits brakes on CPUs as batteries wear out

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What I'd like to know is, does changing the battery on the phone remedy the situation? I have an iPhone 5S which is 3 years old and the battery is absolutely knackered to the point the "battery case" I have for it needs charging twice a day.

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: This

"I imagine their thinking is

- Safety. People setting fire to their houses or their body with their phones does happen occasionally, but is far more likely with knock-off batteries. Not good publicity when that happens."

Well colour me suprised, I never knew those Samsung Note users had changed the battery on their phones before they exploded.

"- Design. A phone that is easily dismantled involves design compromises. Phones that creak in your hand or burst open when you drop them aren’t good publicity."

The Nokia 3310 had a fantastic reputation, even though sometimes the shell would pop off. The problem comes if the shell doesn't go back on. Besides, the iPhone only has to look at some concrete and the screen cracks.

"- Support. Apple isn’t a charity. When your phone or apps go bad due to a knock-off battery or dodgy flash card, why should you be able to walk into an Apple Store and waste their time on a problem not of their own making. Also, long queues of people waiting for repairs not good publicity."

But charging nearly £200 to fix a battery on a year old phone is amazing publicity?

"Don’t like it? Don’t buy an iPhone."

Ok Dad.

"What I would definitely support would be a requirement for manufacturers or authorised agents to replace batteries on demand for a reasonable cost well beyond the time when a company arbitrarily decides to declare a product ‘obsolete’. If I have a working iPhone in 10 years’ time that needs a new battery, I should be able to get one."

But Apple aren't a charity? So why would they want to support you for 10 years when you could've had 5 new shiny iPhones from them in that time?

wolfetone Silver badge

But if the battery in my car goes bad, one morning it won't start up. Either I use jump leads with a helpful stranger's car or I call the RAC, but I'm up and running again and the performance of the vehicle is unaffected. Obviously it becomes a lottery for it to start, but a quick trip to the local motor factors, £40 for a battery, 5 minute job, the car will now start as soon as I look at it.

What Apple are doing is essentially like Ford making their cars lose horsepower, slowing down the speed of the air conditioning, slowing down the speed of the electric windows, giving the driver a 3 second pause after they use the indicator to then start the indicators. And then Ford telling the customer the brand new Ford car doesn't have any of these problems because it's new.

CSS and Javascript on GOV.UK page take early Christmas holiday

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I wonder if their web developer will be availing of legal aid shortly?

UK, US govt and pals on WannaCry culprit: It woz the Norks wot done it

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Re: Twaddle!

"You are making this announcement because you *know* Trump is going to blab it. Full stop. End of story."

Or the story is far more scary than what they used when Saddam had his weapons of mass destruction and we were all 45 minutes away from death.

That turned out to be bollocks too.

SCOLD WAR: Kaspersky drags Uncle Sam into court to battle AV ban

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"The red iceberg."

Can I still use the red cabbage for Christmas?

HMS Queen Elizabeth has sprung a leak and everyone's all a-tizzy

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It'd probably sink if an F-35 ever managed to land on it.

This considers the scenario of such a plane ever being built to fly in the first place.

Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

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Re: Poor woman

My thoughts exactly. I'm not sure who would go to the newspapers and say they do that unless they're attention seeking or seeking help.

Google asks browser rival Vivaldi to post uninstall instructions

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Re: Increased my interest in Vivaldi

Google's Chrome and Vivaldi are both based on the Chromium project. It's an open source project started by Google.

UK reaches peak Bitcoin as bin firm accepts cryptocurrency

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Coat

The puns littered through the article are rubbish.

'I knew the company was doomed after managers brawled in a biker bar'

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Re: RE Gearbox

"AC for obvious reasons..."

Makes sense, I don't know anyone who'd willingly admit they owned a Corsa.

wolfetone Silver badge
Facepalm

"On-Call will run every day this week."

Unlike the cronjob that I set up last week to run every day.

Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks

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"Are you 18?"

"Yes"

"Here you go".

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

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That wouldn't have happened in Turkmenistan or North Korea.

Former ZX Spectrum reboot project man departs

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"One of the leaked documents shows it was actually Lady Sinclair who was the director. The plot thickens!"

Who has since stepped down as director of Sinclair Research.

I twist my oiled moustache at the plot.

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"The entire Retro Computers Limited story is a stain on the legacy of Sir Clive Sinclair and the joy that his computer products brought to millions over the years. "

Funnily enough, if you look on Companies House, Sinclair Research Limited are a director of RCL. Yes, the Sinclair Research Limited. So, in a round about way, Sir Clive is damaging his own company's legacy.

You could not write this saga as a film script. It's just so bewildering.

At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

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Re: Absent family

I remember buying an All Day Breakfast frozen meal from Tesco a few years ago out of curiosity. As I stood by the microwave watching it get nuked, I noted that it said the sausages were 14%. But I couldn't work out whether that meant they had 14% pork content or were 14% of the meal.

Over the next month I went back and forth to Tesco over email asking about this, and literally no one at Tesco could tell me what the 14% referred to.

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: The Rampart Household

"I'm not an alcoholic either. I've got 8 bottles of whisky in my bar, vodka, gins and rums (various), tequila and triple sec (for margaritas), and then a few cases of wine and port in the spare room.

If I was an alcoholic I'd have drunk them all already.

Having a bar doesn't make me an alcoholic does it?"

I've the same collection as you (bar the tequila and triple sec) and the wife accuses me of being an alcholic. I, too, pointed out that if I was an alcoholic the 1 litre bottle of Penderyn whisky I bought over a year ago would've been gone by now, but I've most of it left.

She wasn't happy with that retort! Especially as I said cheers to her as I started drinking my pint of Malibu and Pineapple.

wolfetone Silver badge

"Erm, why not walk around the block rather than drive? Much more healthy and a smaller CO2 footprint. Cars use more fuel in the cold too."

I'm sure with everyone cooking their Turkey's in gas ovens on Christmas Day my car is going to tip the CO2 footprint over the edge!

Besides, Christmas CO2 doesn't count. Same with Calories.

wolfetone Silver badge

"Betcha listened to your namesake - the Wolfe Tones. Often used to come across them in the CD shops when looking for Scottish Highlands band Wolfstone :)

And, yes, I do know who Wolfe Tone was..."

You got me! Started off with a tape of a live recording they did, upgraded it to a CD version of them later on when he got a new car that didn't have a tape deck. It's been upgraded even further now through iPod's and iPhone's etc.

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: Starter for Ten...

We make little stuffing balls and wrap them in streaky bacon.

We call them "Leprichauns in Blankets", just because the Leprichauns on Live & Kicking were called Sage and Onion.

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: Goose

I've never heard of yorkshire puddings for christmas dinner. Doesn't it make it just a normal roast dinner doing that?

wolfetone Silver badge

I'm cooking christmas dinner for the in laws this year and the mother in laws house. The other week the wife asked (in front of the mother) "What are we having for starters?". I immediately said "Prawn cocktail". Imagine my shock when I see the faces of both of them crunch up in disgust. "PRAWN COCKTAIL!? NO! We're having pate". Cook your own bloody dinner then.

One tradition which I used to do with my old man would be to go for a drive around for an hour while my mom cooked the dinner. It was nice really, he would drive around (then I would when I passed my test) and just listening to old Irish songs on the CD player. They're unique memories really as I don't know anyone else who does that. I still do it now, albeit on my own.

If you're looking for something new to do christmas day, then I can highly recommend doing that with your own choice of music.

How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

wolfetone Silver badge

Dont you mean the haberdashery?

Brrr! It's a snow day and someone has pwned the chuffin' school heating

wolfetone Silver badge

Re: lax installers who have disregarded installation advice

"The manufacturers can put in the most secure defaults possible, but if an installer changes them or the systems staff give the control systems publicly accessible IPs, then you have a security problem."

But if the installer doesn't change the default settings, wouldn't it be easy for someone to just use the default settings on that system to gain access to it?

Y'know, a lot like how "admin" is both the username and password out of the box for most routers?

Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

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Pint

Balanced Report

A man has conducted research in to man flu, found out it was a thing. Automatically you would think that he's obviously biased.

But no! His surname is a girls name. Ergo umbongo, balanced.

Netflix silent about ridicule as it discusses punters' viewing habits

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"adam sandler films are fantastic."

I didn't know Adam Sandler read The Register.

Trump to NASA: Fly me (or some other guys) to the Moon

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Re: Nomenclature

You're all wrong. It'll be called Moonbase Freedom 'cause 'murica.

Games-mart Steam halts Bitcoin payments

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Re: $20 per transaction fee

You're quite right. Right now it's in a bubble and because it's passed a specific value speculators have jumped on board which are increasing the prices yet further.

The issue with Bitcoin is that it's no longer suitable for small transactions. This can be remidied by adding a few zeros at the end but even then, if the price rises that high and crashes so low in a short space of time it's still not suitable for small transactions.

A better cryptocurrency would be Litecoin, as that's fairly stable and doesn't suffer from huge fluctuations like Bitcoin does. However even the value of LTC is linked to Bitcoin and has soared in value over the last 6 months.

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