* Posts by wolfetone

2304 posts • joined 6 Aug 2011

I've got a verbal govt contract for Hyperloop, claims His Muskiness

wolfetone
Silver badge

"To be fair...I suspect it will be your football team that break the promise first. Well, every time."

I've more sense than to follow Wolves! They're her team, not mine.

3
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

Suzi Perry, gorgeous woman who presents the motorbikes in the UK and what not, agreed to marry me when I tweeted asking her to marry me. The proviso being that she'd marry me when Wolverhampton Wanderers (her football team) won the Premiership.

Now, the difference between this and Mr.Musk is that Suzi wrote down her agreement in a tweet. That's a lot more than what he's got, and yet both promises I feel will be broken.

12
1

User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: I've seen this plot before.

I long for the day I see a specialist plumber film like this include the moment where said plumber gives said bored housewife the bill.

16
0
wolfetone
Silver badge
Pint

Re: I use to be an IT tech in schools

Lucky bastard.

Have a pint.

28
0

Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: I suspect there are quite a few Java devs out there

That's the thing. It's all well and good saying that you have 10 years experience in Java. But that doesn't mean you have 10 years of being good at it. Hell, it doesn't even mean you're good at it now.

22
1

Moneysupermarket fined £80,000 for spamming seven million customers

wolfetone
Silver badge

How much would it take for a website that asks you whether you want to receive email communication or not to send you a receipt of what you chose? If you opted out, they could send you a one time email saying "You've opted out". Then you have a record of what you've agreed to.

Thing is, I'm almost certain I always opt out of these things, but I'm never sure as I've no receipt to confirm it or not. But I guess sending a receipt means these websites can bend the rules a bit and hope I don't remember opting out in the first place.

7
0

UK mobile number porting creaks: Arcane system shows its age

wolfetone
Silver badge
Coat

Re: "negative words are politically incorrect in some culture I know nothing of"

"Is that why they have such messed up porn? "Mitsu, not sure if it's a big ask as it's our first date, but can I put 4 live eels up your arse before I double punch fist it to the point of prolapse while 50 of my mates jizz relentlessly into your nostrils and eyeballs?""

Not going to lie, my enjoyment of Japanese porn is prevented when I'm not 100% sure whether the woman is enjoying it, let alone consented to it.

And the pixels don't help either.

0
0
wolfetone
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Makes me wonder..

Or you text her when she's with the milkman and she doesn't want to be disturbed?

8
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

"To give Three some credit, once we’d found someone senior enough..."

I've just heard that they've seen their first snow in hell and that pork farms across the country are losing their pigs as they get up to fly.

HOW did you manage that?! Every time I tried to do that when disputing my bill the chap in the Indian call centre just kept saying no.

16
3

Feature snatcher Microsoft tweaks OneDrive

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: "Fall Creators Update"

Well, I hope the update doesn't cause people's PC's to fall over.

Am I rite? Eh? Eh?

7
0

Tapping the Bank of Mum and Dad: Why your Netflix subscription is poised to rise (again)

wolfetone
Silver badge

"I struggle to believe that anyone would invest money into Uber at this point."

From organising several meet ups with various friends etc (for the record, aren't connected to each other) is that no one says "I'll get a taxi to yours" it's more "I'll get an Uber".

It's in the public conscience of the great unwashed that Uber means a better taxi (when in most cases it isn't), so for as long as the public are saying the name Uber and paying over the odds for it, then people will continue to invest.

6
8

China's 'future-proof' crypto: We talk to firm behind crazy quantum key distribution network

wolfetone
Silver badge

"No Back Door" you say?

Well, if listening to politicians talk about encryption for the last few years has taught me anything, it's that I hope that ISIS aren't Chinese.

2
0

The curious case of a Tesla smash, Autopilot blamed, and the driver's next-day U-turn

wolfetone
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Chrissy - Re: TCAS, not ACARS

I can't upvote you twice, but thanks for pointing out I got that mixed up and replaced it with the correct term, and have an upvote in kind for the use of "cumulo-granite"

0
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

"Airplane autopilots will happily fly into other airplanes"

No. Most (if not all) have ACARS installed. If the plane is going to collide with another plane then between the two planes one climbs above and one dives below. This happens regardless of pilot input.

As well as that, throughout the flight, a pilot can adjust the speed of the plane and the direction and the autopilot won't disengage. The only time a plane's autopilot disengages is when it encounters something beyond the scope of what it's capable of. For example, conflicting reports from the Captain's and 2nd Officiers altimeters.

At the point of flying in to a mountain, as far as I know, the autopilot will disengage and allow the pilot to regain full control. But regardless, a plane could take off, fly and land with the autopilot on without any input from the pilot. In fact a lot of airlines require a plane to land using autopilot only.

But I hope you can see with the above examples how different the Tesla Autopilot is in the way it interacts with the human onboard the machine.

4
1
wolfetone
Silver badge

"Tesla has never officially said its system is to be used for completely hands-free autonomous driving"

Don't call it Autopilot then.

7
1

UK government's war on e-cigs is over

wolfetone
Silver badge

"To be fair, the EU enacted a law to prevent smokers from using an effective quitting aid in order to enrich the companies behind Nicorette et al.

Brexit merely allows us to reverse that injustice."

Well, the lovely thing about Nicorette is that you don't pollute the air around you with foul smelling synthetic chemicals. The vapes do however.

But, you're quite right. It allows us to reverse that injustice. But at what price to the vaping overloads? How much will they have to pay to lobby their case at parliament?

You will reverse nothing. You simply make it easier for con men to operate.

6
20
wolfetone
Silver badge

That's how we're going to make Brexit work. Cut all the red tape, allow manufacturers and big business run rough shot over the public, protect them when the public get poisoned. It's like no one considered the reasons why the red tape is there in the first place.

Doesn't make a difference to me anyway, I'm saving up to buy an island to live on.

19
15

UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

wolfetone
Silver badge

What's the problem with the ScamLife adverts?

You get a free Parker pen, just for enquiring.

2
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

Ah, the ASA. Useless, spineless, directionless.

While it is a good thing that a woman will no longer be seen to just be doing the washing up, and that a man won't be the only one shaving his face, what about the adverts glorifying gambling? Why are they left to carry on unchallenged?

And the adverts for electronic cigarettes! I've nothing against them, but the only reason they can be advertised is that they're an aid to stopping smoking. Yet I haven't seen one advert talk about that. Instead it's just "Oh these e-cigs are like the real thing!".

Children are watching both sorts of adverts, yet the ASA think gender defined roles are more of a risk to the nation than gambling and/or addiction? What a fucking joke they are.

14
2

Another Brexit cliff edge: UK.gov warned over data flows to EU

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: what?

"Influence... what damned influence?"

Elected MEP Nigel Farage was on the board of the EU Fishing Board. Do you know how many meetings he went to?

None.

You can't influence a thing if you don't turn up to do the job you were elected to do.

42
1
wolfetone
Silver badge

"...and ensure that David Cameron takes his rightful place in history : as a total knob end."

And pig molester. Don't forget about the pig.

27
1
wolfetone
Silver badge
Mushroom

Got my popcorn, now to wait for the comments to become something akin to The Daily Fail.

16
1

Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

wolfetone
Silver badge

Johnny 5 would never have done that.

10
0

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Regenerate a few more fingers?

She's the 15th.

Joanna Lumley was a Doctor, somewhere in between McGann and Ecclestone.

2
2
wolfetone
Silver badge

"I want my licence fee money back."

Do you need your Daily Mail website account back as well?

15
1
wolfetone
Silver badge
Headmaster

Err...

I'll think you find Joanna Lumely was the first femal Doctor Who, in the Doctor Who Red Nose Day special a few years ago.

5
2

Media mogul Murdoch's 'Sky dataset' swallow poses 'grave threat'

wolfetone
Silver badge

But Murdoch isn't a Labour supporter, so surely the Government will welcome him purchasing the rest of Sky?

2
1

Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

wolfetone
Silver badge

Hold on, "if he had been in any other seat he'd have been killed"?

Well if he was in any other seat he wouldn't be driving, and not in that place at that time?

5
0

Nearly three-quarters of convicted TV Licence non-payers are women

wolfetone
Silver badge

"So how, then, do you propose to fund advertisement-free TV programming not beholden to anybody except the viewers?"

I think the whole idea of the BBC not being beholden to anybody except the viewers is exactly the sort of thing that makes the grass grow green in Texas: bullshit.

14
8

Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: The ZX Spectrum does not have 'apps'.

"so I'll settle for £20 and one of Nadiya's fruit flans."

I'd just settle for a drink with Candice to be honest.

0
0
wolfetone
Silver badge
Trollface

Are you sure it's an app and not the band just tuning up?

7
0

Dark web souk AlphaBay shuts for good after police raids

wolfetone
Silver badge

Dead men don't talk.

They can't argue their innocence either.

10
0

Now here's a novel idea: Digitising Victorian-era stamp duty machines

wolfetone
Silver badge

You know, we could just get rid of stamp duty altogether?

13
1

Don't panic, but your Bitcoins may just vanish into the ether next month

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Bitcoin is bound to collapse in value prior to this date

"Bitcoin isn't worth £1,700 per coin. Sure you might get that when you sell your first one. But what happens when you sell the 10th? Or the 100th?"

And that happens to currencies every day. None of them are backed by Gold any more.

0
6
wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Bitcoin is bound to collapse in value prior to this date

You're referring to Ethereum. It's a good crypto currency, but it's still recovering from a flash crash when there were rumours that the founder died. It went from £200 to 10p but recovered.

There's a lot of talk about Litecoin, and how that's the Silver to BitCoin's Gold.

But it's all speculation about which will do well etc. No one ever dreamed BitCoin would be worth £1,700 per coin as of writing. Anything can happen.

0
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: How about caps?

Already on that. I've accumulated about 586 bottle caps.

Not because of BitCoin, but because if gaming has taught me anything its that a post nuclear world revolves around bottle caps.

16
0

Truck spills slimy load all over Oregon road – drivers slip in eel slick

wolfetone
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Imagine the poor driver explaining what happened to their partner.

"Well the trucker was behind me, then all of a sudden his load just covered my back..."

14
0

Fake Newspaper steals Reg design to spruik storage upstart

wolfetone
Silver badge
Holmes

I wonder if The Mirror knows you've stolen their design?

9
0

User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Government staff: need I say more?

It isn't the preserve of Government staff. It's any staff that thinks they're above having to use a computer, and above having to learn or appreciate how to use one.

My mother-in-law-to-be is one of these. Refuses to use a computer, then wonders why I don't help her when she's stuck with something. This causes problems between me and the wife-to-be, and she doesn't like it when I tell her I've already shown her that twice, she should have remembered what I did and done it.

11
0

What did OVH learn from 24-hour outage? Water and servers do not mix

wolfetone
Silver badge

Ah, if only 123-Reg followed OVH's lead in being so open about their fuck ups.

3
0

Virgin Trains dodges smack from ICO: CCTV pics of Corbyn were OK

wolfetone
Silver badge

"Is wolfetone really Wolfie Smith?"

No, I'm not.

I'm much better looking.

0
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

"What about investigating Corbyn for making bogus claims now? Surely there should be some sort of investigation into that?"

He was walking past first class seats he didn't have a ticket for? So er, what's bogus about that? He's an MP so he should pay for a first class ticket?

But yeah, fully agree there should be an investigation in to that. Shortly after one is conducted in to the Tory election fraud that happened 2 years ago, the election fraud that occured in this election just gone, and how Theresa May could find £1 billion to bribe the DUP to back her government while simultaneously sticking two fingers up to the nurse who was told "There is no magic money tree" when she asked for a raise and to the Good Friday Agreement that her deal ultimately destroys.

Over to you, sir.

29
31

Adult toy retailer slapped down for 'RES-ERECTI*N' ad over Easter

wolfetone
Silver badge

"Oh, you too are of virgin birth!"

Yes! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME AND FEEL MY WRATH!!!!

1
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

Christians don't have sex. So it is offensive.

Both my parents are Christian and they never had sex. Not even once. So there!

28
0
wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Easy Beat Gold Eggs

"I followed the link, I read the details, I watched the video. I still have no idea what it is. In many ways, I'm too old to care anymore."

You tried asking your wife?

5
0

Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser

wolfetone
Silver badge

Re: Resist with crowdfunded RPNs...

"You hit problems with rural areas and also the number of hops between source and destination."

There'll be too busy fox hunting and badger baiting to care or notice.

2
0

Ubuntu Linux now on Windows Store (for Insiders)

wolfetone
Silver badge

"Well - they've already managed to get Windows-lite[1] into Redhat and all it's little penguins..

[1] Systemd."

Quite right. That is a problem, and it's being addressed within the community.

Systemd is to Linux what athletes foot is to humans. An irritant, but it can be killed off.

11
2
wolfetone
Silver badge
Linux

"Embrace, extend, extinguish."

If you can't beat them, join them.

5
5
wolfetone
Silver badge
Linux

We've won.

16
6

Mappy days! Ordnance Survey offers up free map of UK greenery

wolfetone
Silver badge
Coat

Re: mafia

Don't you mean... mapia?

Geddit? Geddit? Eh? Eh?

12
1

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017