* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

752 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

KeePass looter: Password plunderer rinses pwned sysadmins

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

KeeFarce works by leveraging DLL injection

KeeFarce works by using DLL injection

TFIFY

Boffins solve bacon crisis with newly-patented plant

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Facon

That's all

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Bah!

Coffee moment

Finally, with W10, Microsoft’s device strategy makes sense

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Upvoted, if only for the line: blunt edge of the bleeding obvious

TalkTalk plays 'no legal obligation' card on encryption – fails to think of the children (read: its customers)

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: I also note that...

That's a bit harsh on Gibbons, isn't it?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

As I observed elsewhere in this illustrious mag

What happened to Duty of Care?

Talk Talk is (supposed to be) a professional company operating in the IT arena and, as such, should have been perfectly well aware of the risks when they specifically decided not to encrypt data..

They DID think about it, didn't they?

TalkTalk attack: 'No legal obligation to encrypt customer bank details', says chief

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

There are CATS as well?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

"TalkTalk are a bunch of piss pot incompetents,"

Come on, they haven't improved THAT much!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

What happened to

Duty of Care?

Talk Talk is (supposed to be) a professional company operating in the IT arena and, as such, should have been perfectly well aware of the risks by taking the decision not to encrypt data..

Crash this beauty? James Bond's concept DB10 Aston debuts in Spectre

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: "re-enforced"?

Ex Daily Mail journalist, perhaps?

Brazilian prisoner nabbed with mobile up rear end

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: What type of Biometrics did you say?

No, but it does put new meaning to "Polyphonic" ringtones

Faked NatWest, Halifax bank sites score REAL security certs

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

www.nwolb.com

"blown" backwards

How long does it take an NHS doctor to turn on a computer?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: And your point is?

Just spend a while reading comments to the science section stories in the Daily Mail. There are an AWFUL lot of people around who would need instructions (in pictures) to drag their knuckles, let alone think.

Hey, Facebook – these are the new Like buttons you should have used

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

2 missing

No Facepalm and still no FOAD button

AF-FIR-MAT-IVE: Second suspension for robot-voice helldesker

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

An Expressionless Monotone, then?

I thought 'Mericans naturally spoke like that.

Indianapolis man paints his ball every day – for FORTY YEARS

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Playmobil

Or it didn't happen

Microsoft puts arm round Salesforce, pair skip gaily into the cloud

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: "Lightning"

You haven't allowed for contrived words from salesman Twatspeak

Tech turned on its head: 'Dislike' button in Facebook, pay Snapchat $1 to defuse self-destructing sexy selfies

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Microaggression button?

Sir

You can keep your microaggression button. Nothing less than Megaaggression and the goodly twatting of a Turtle Necked Twat with a good and beefy baseball bat will suffice.

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

NO! We want (and have always wanted) a Fuck off and Die button

See the last post here:

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/4/2014/06/20/dont_add_me_to_your_network_i_have_no_idea_who_you_are/#c_2223203

US librarians defy cops, Feds – and switch on their Tor exit node

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Ook!

Thats all

They’re FAT. They’re ROUND. They’re worth almost a POUND. Smart waaatch, smart waaatch

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Looks big enough to be a decent mood monitor

Nice green display when I'm in a good mood and leaves a dirty big red mark on the forehead of anyone who pisses me off.

Excellent. I'll have one for each wrist.

Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell: El Reg on the hydrogen highway

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Meebbe I'm wrong

but I thought most hydrogen around at the moment is produced from hydrocarbon as electrolysis is too expensive/inefficient

Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Bah!

Red Herring? Nope, it was a Caviar drive

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Well I remember

Handling an 8" floppy or two

EU clears UK to give £50m to SABRE space launcher engine

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

R100 vs. R101

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: <Even bigger cynic^2>

But they won't be anywhere near as good but the makers will sue the bollocks off anyone who says so

BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

I have a feeling this will not end well

"I am fairly certain that about the time my Munich flight departs, the PFY will be setting his scrotum on fire and reaching for a size 10 Nike"

I rest my case

Budget UHD TVs arrive – but were the 4Kasts worth listening to?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Interesting headline

"Budget UHD TVs arrive – but were the 4Kasts worth listening to?"

If all the fuss is about 4k pictures, shirley the question is: "but were the 4Kasts worth WATCHING?"

To which, looking at almost all broadcast TV, the answer is a resounding no.

BLADE-WIELDING BOTS conquer humans in RADIO DEATHMATCH

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Ah, America

Home of the Vested Interest**

**If not actualy vested, at least in possession of a nice cardigan

Cop shops mock cop for cop stop flop: He'll cop it for copping it up - top cop

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Who read that bit....

....The Star-Beacon.

as

The Star-Bacon.

Be quick or be silent: Social media as a business tool

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Speaking of brickbats

That IS the Special Level of Hell: Facebook and nothing else

Windows 10: Buy cheap, buy twice, right? Buy FREE ... buy FOREVER

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

WIll the next iteration

Be Windows Free point One?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Nah

Get enough punters on there, take away any route back to the previous OS they bought and then hit 'em that it has become a subscription package.

If you think you have discovered a gold mine, just be careful of the shaft.

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Kudos for the 1970's music reference

What've you got against your grandbrat? Ours quite likes Nanny & Grandpa's music (Mostly Classic FM)

Florida cops cuff open-carry, balls-out pirate packing 'operational' flintlocks

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!

Just because

Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

77p

My final offer

Zionists stole my SHOE, claims Muslim campaigner

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Looks like

Evil deeds are afoot

Using leather in 'leccy cars is 'unTesla', rages vegan shareholder

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Would she

Take quinine to kill Malaria parasites? Nice little sentientywenty things. How about a sweet little rat infestation in her basement? Ask them nicely to leave?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Recycling

Footage: No, it's a MOOOOOVIE

Life in plastic, it's fantastic: Playmobil supremo dies at 81

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Playmobil

Or it didn't happen

Power your temperature sensor with this BONKERS router hack

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

There's always

RADIO ONE!

Its has to be good for SOMETHING. thais may be it

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

No humans on tills

Then no sale. I normally dump my stuff and walk out.

LG G4: Be careful while fingering this leather-clad smartie pants

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

The leather cow-hide clad one

Does it play moovies and moosic?

Stranded Brussels airport passengers told to check Facebook

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Arrrrrgh! Zuck has bought the rights to Belgium?

OK, looks like we have the founding members of the "I Don't Give a Rats Arse About Faecebook or Twatter" club.

Blocking mobile adverts just became that little bit easier

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge
Pint

Re: "toxic wastelands such as Facebook"

Liked that

Ricoh rolls out electrifyingly exciting RUBBER!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

sparks will fly

with the Dildo Dynamo(tm) and the Arsehole Alternator(tm)

Actually, "Arsehole Alternator" sounds exactly like someone I worked for a while back.

Starbucks denies mobile app hack, blames careless customers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

You could always use - ahem

Cash

Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Never seen a cow with automatic brakes. Dunno how that would work.

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Speed limit reduction

Obviously a graduate from the BOFH school of how to deal with Volvo salesmen

So tablets, if you want to get anything done travelling get a ... yes, a laptop

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Oh come on

Seriously, I thought everyone realised tablets were shiny toys for the burbles who liked to feel important and oh so digitized, whilst the rest of us get on doing work. A laptop is just about OK, I suppose, if you are a road warior but for getting real work done nothing, but nothing beats at least 2 decent monitors and either a desktop dock or simply a desktop computer. The only decent use I have ever seen for an iPad is as a glorified remote control for the burbles video conferencing suite. And they can keep that.

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