* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

779 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Pastafarianism is under attack!

That's all right until your alphabetti spaghetti spells "Disaster"

Picture this: An exabyte of cat pix in the space of a sugar cube of DNA

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: re: No word on actual data transfer rates.

Sweet!

Pothole campaigner sprays Surrey street with phallic paintings

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Spur the council...

Proof - The penis; mightier than the sword

Should give the council the willies

Apps that 'listen in' to your mobile get slapped by US watchdog

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Ah yes. Targetted advertising

Trying to sell you more of what you have just bought (Amazon I am especially looking at you, you morons but Google is just as stupid). Stalking you round the web offering more of what you just looked at but don't actualy want (Google, Amazon et al). Telling me what other people have bought (as if I care). Telling me what is "Trending" (ditto). Making special offers that aren't actually special for stuff that is otherwise unsaleable tat.

Yeah. really advanced, that.

Just a good indicator of which businesses and products to avoid like tha plague.

Hackers demo prototype security scanner that thinks like a human

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

"security scanner that thinks like a human"

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Doughnuts

Plucky cable billionaires defeat menace of small-town broadband

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Confused

The answer comes in brown envelopes

NIST set to shake up temperature with quantum thermometer

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge
Coat

This is going to be

A hot topic

Swedish publishers plan summer ‘Block Party’ to thwart ad blockers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Dear Swedish publishers

Just undertake to publish only ads that are not intrusive, do not involve tracking, do not try to sell peopole what they have already bought, are not animated, do not involve Flash, do not involve Java, do not pop up, pop over or pop under, are not misleading, do not cover huge swathes of the page, do not include any autoplay video and which have your abolute guarantee not to be tainted with malware. Cover my extra data cost that your noxious content requires to put itself on my machine. Then and only then will I quit using AdBlock.

Guys (OK, and girls): It is YOU, and only YOU, who got yourselves into this shithole. You are just reaping the fruits of that which YOU have sown.

Just quit whining and sort your act out.

$17 smartwatch sends something to random Chinese IP address

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: I think I'll buy one

@ JeffyPoooh

Dickhead (See what I did there?)

This article has been deleted

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

So has this comment

So there. I can play silly buggers too!

BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: "So you'd maim a security guard just to prove a point?"

Security guards ALWAYS need maiming, sooner or later. It's just easier to do it at a time convenient for you.

Black Monday: Office 365 down and out in Europe

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

The Cloud

Isn't that where Cuckoo Land is?

Yahoo! is! up! for! sale! – so! how! much! will! you! bid!?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: New reg unit

Don't be silly. Even a penny stock would convert to something like five billion Yahoo (YH)

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Architecturizing strategic alternatives for maximizing value

I thought that's what they did (Obligatory exclamation marks stacked here !!!!!!)

TalkTalk confesses: Scammers have data about our engineers' visits to your home

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Yes but...

In TalkTalk's case, not having a call centre at all may improve the service enormously.

Integrity? I doubt Dido has even heard of it.

13 CubeSats to ride mighty US lifter

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

70 tons lift?

Go on, lets have a tank in space

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

It IS steam

Stand (a long way) downwind and you'll get rained on

Facebook Messenger: All your numbers are belong to us

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Never forget

krill

FTFTFY

Adblock Plus blocked from attending ad industry talkfest

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Funnily enough

According to the IAB's rather garish website, there are "Still a few seats left" so it looks like AdBlock can go ahead and rebook - unless IAB's stance is no more than a fit of pique.

http://www.iab.com/

And the site seens to work with AdBlock set. I rather hope that may change.

El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

What?

No nuclear category?

Discworld fans stake claim to element 117

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Hear hear.

This post contains letters. Deal with it.

At least 10 major loyalty card schemes compromised in industry-wide scam

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Subway

etc. As in Et Cetera. Literally: "and the rest"

Electrician cuts wrong wire and downs 25,000 square foot data centre

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: opps

The correct term being "Clusterfuck"

LHC records biggest bang ever with 1 Peta-electron-volt jolt

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Very dense and very hot?

I knew a girl like that once

Irish electricity company threatens to cut off graveyard

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

What Electric Ireland need

Is a good stiff talking to

Yahoo! Mail! is! still! a! thing!, tries! blocking! Adblock! users!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Yahoo!

You! Are! A! Joke!

And! Its! One! Thats! Not! Funny

Volkswagen: 800,000 of our cars may have cheated in CO2 tests

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Hint - time to blame cheap offshore programmers?

"German Beer" - Do you perchance mean Lager or Near Frozen Gnats Urine as it should rightly be called - certainly not beer

KeePass looter: Password plunderer rinses pwned sysadmins

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

KeeFarce works by leveraging DLL injection

KeeFarce works by using DLL injection

TFIFY

Boffins solve bacon crisis with newly-patented plant

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Facon

That's all

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Bah!

Coffee moment

Finally, with W10, Microsoft’s device strategy makes sense

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Upvoted, if only for the line: blunt edge of the bleeding obvious

TalkTalk plays 'no legal obligation' card on encryption – fails to think of the children (read: its customers)

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: I also note that...

That's a bit harsh on Gibbons, isn't it?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

As I observed elsewhere in this illustrious mag

What happened to Duty of Care?

Talk Talk is (supposed to be) a professional company operating in the IT arena and, as such, should have been perfectly well aware of the risks when they specifically decided not to encrypt data..

They DID think about it, didn't they?

TalkTalk attack: 'No legal obligation to encrypt customer bank details', says chief

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

There are CATS as well?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

"TalkTalk are a bunch of piss pot incompetents,"

Come on, they haven't improved THAT much!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

What happened to

Duty of Care?

Talk Talk is (supposed to be) a professional company operating in the IT arena and, as such, should have been perfectly well aware of the risks by taking the decision not to encrypt data..

Crash this beauty? James Bond's concept DB10 Aston debuts in Spectre

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: "re-enforced"?

Ex Daily Mail journalist, perhaps?

Brazilian prisoner nabbed with mobile up rear end

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: What type of Biometrics did you say?

No, but it does put new meaning to "Polyphonic" ringtones

Faked NatWest, Halifax bank sites score REAL security certs

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

www.nwolb.com

"blown" backwards

How long does it take an NHS doctor to turn on a computer?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: And your point is?

Just spend a while reading comments to the science section stories in the Daily Mail. There are an AWFUL lot of people around who would need instructions (in pictures) to drag their knuckles, let alone think.

Hey, Facebook – these are the new Like buttons you should have used

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

2 missing

No Facepalm and still no FOAD button

AF-FIR-MAT-IVE: Second suspension for robot-voice helldesker

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

An Expressionless Monotone, then?

I thought 'Mericans naturally spoke like that.

Indianapolis man paints his ball every day – for FORTY YEARS

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Playmobil

Or it didn't happen

Microsoft puts arm round Salesforce, pair skip gaily into the cloud

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: "Lightning"

You haven't allowed for contrived words from salesman Twatspeak

Tech turned on its head: 'Dislike' button in Facebook, pay Snapchat $1 to defuse self-destructing sexy selfies

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Microaggression button?

Sir

You can keep your microaggression button. Nothing less than Megaaggression and the goodly twatting of a Turtle Necked Twat with a good and beefy baseball bat will suffice.

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

NO! We want (and have always wanted) a Fuck off and Die button

See the last post here:

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/4/2014/06/20/dont_add_me_to_your_network_i_have_no_idea_who_you_are/#c_2223203

US librarians defy cops, Feds – and switch on their Tor exit node

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Ook!

Thats all

They’re FAT. They’re ROUND. They’re worth almost a POUND. Smart waaatch, smart waaatch

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Looks big enough to be a decent mood monitor

Nice green display when I'm in a good mood and leaves a dirty big red mark on the forehead of anyone who pisses me off.

Excellent. I'll have one for each wrist.

Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell: El Reg on the hydrogen highway

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Meebbe I'm wrong

but I thought most hydrogen around at the moment is produced from hydrocarbon as electrolysis is too expensive/inefficient

Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

Re: Bah!

Red Herring? Nope, it was a Caviar drive

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