* Posts by ukgnome

1838 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY

ukgnome
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Headmaster

Re: Bloody Brits!

Why would you put them on a bed of E numbers and not FDA approved additives?

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ukgnome
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2 eggs - fried

1 fried bread

1 toast

tomato - grilled or tinned

beans

2 x hash browns (or other potato product)

2 rasher bacon

2 sausages

Mushrooms (fried in butter)

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Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

ukgnome
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Cheeze Petrel

Why cheezoid exist

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

ukgnome
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Linux

It is never a good idea to upset the penguins.

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WWE star's swiped sex snaps survey spam snares selfie sickos

ukgnome
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The only thing more sickening than the scam is the fact she has six toes on each foot.

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Three cops to data breach

ukgnome
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Coat

I believe it to be cider-fecked

They drank cider and couldn't be fecked to care.

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FBI, NSA top brass: We've seen jack squat to back up Trump's claims of Obama wiretaps

ukgnome
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Funny isn't it

On one hand we must clamp down hard on leaks and leakers, and on the other tiny hand we must tweet our support for Julian Assange.

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User rats out IT team for playing games at work, gets them all fired

ukgnome
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No No No

Rule one - never rat out anyone

Rule two - make sure everyone knows you know

Rule three - Sit back and enjoy your career as a BOFH

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Smart sex toys firm coughs up $3.75m in privacy lawsuit

ukgnome
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There is a real online buzz about this story

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Fireball in Tasmania: Possible CubeSat re-entry sparks alien panic

ukgnome
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I do worry about the amount of junk that can potentially fall on our heads.

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You want WHO?! Reg readers vote Tom Baker for Doctor 13. Of course

ukgnome
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Peri had two good points

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BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

ukgnome
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The password loop - only a real bastard would keep that going

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Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

ukgnome
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Get me high on spice and I will try and like this idea.

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Counter-terror cops arrest pair for sending poo-smeared toilet paper to public figures

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

If it wasn't illegal to do so I might send a brown hawk down to all the Trump hotels and golf courses.

Although that would be unfair on the postal service and I am a law abiding citizen.

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MEEELLIONs of Brits stick with current broadband provider rather than risk no Netflix

ukgnome
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I have never had a loss of service when switching. What a load of silliness.

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To Hull with the crap town naysayers: UK Culture City's got some amazing... telecoms

ukgnome
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Hull is a den of stinking evil, then again I am from Grimsby and just the word Hull is a trigger. As such I couldn't watch that chap with an emu in the 80's

Having said that, Spiders is still one of the best places I have been - for various reasons.

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Don't worry, America: Elon Musk says he'll have a word with Trump

ukgnome
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I would trust the word of musk before that breakfast TV bore and evil phone hacking twonk Piers Morgan.

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Huzzah! Doctor Who comes to Playmoverse

ukgnome
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Oh Shit!

I have just managed to cure my bigly Funko addiction. And now this.

Damn you Reg - you need to issue trigger warnings these days.

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I'LL BE BATT: Arnie Schwarzenegger snubs gas guzzlers for electric

ukgnome
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In just the latest of a lifetime of unusual moves

So is the Reg saying you can't learn new stuff and reevaluate?

What a dumb ass stance!

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Irish townsfolk besieged by confused smut channel callers

ukgnome
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Careful Now

Down with this sort of thing!

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Lord of the Dance set to deliver high kicks at Trump’s big ball

ukgnome
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Sounds

unmissable.....no sorry I mean umm missable

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Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

ukgnome
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What would Trump care - he doesn't use computers.

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Li-ion tamers: Boffins build battery with built-in fire extinguisher

ukgnome
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erm

wouldn't it be better to perfect the battery instead of adding bits to it?

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Did Oculus swipe blueprints from rival? Zuck takes the stand

ukgnome
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I don't need a 3D headset - I have two eyes.

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Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

ukgnome
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Alien

I for one am disappointed that this isn't alien overlords.

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Chelsea Manning sentence slashed by Prez Obama: She'll be sprung in the spring

ukgnome
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Assange is vermin

the thing is, he's a Russian puppet just like trumpski.

I am pleased Manning will be getting out. Just hope the trumptards don't get nasty.

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UK's lords want more details on adult website check plans

ukgnome
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Gimp

Are you 18

Yes / No

sorted

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Apple sings another iTune following Brexit as prices rise by up to a third

ukgnome
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Maybe just maybe

the extra cash can pay for the tax they have been evading.

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RIP Eugene Cernan: Last man on the Moon dies aged 82

ukgnome
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Pioneers of Space

It's a shame we have forgotten how to take further small steps.

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Apple vs. Samsung goes back to court, again, to re-assess the value of a rounded corner

ukgnome
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Hasn't anyone mentioned Prior Art yet?

While we are at it can we sue Motorola - their Razr never did give me a clean cut.

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Drone biz Lily Robotics takes $34m in pre-orders, ships nothing, shuts down, gets sued by San Francisco DA

ukgnome
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Coat

This is what happens

When you go on and on about a feature you can't deliver.

*drone joke is obvious

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McDonald's forget hash, browns off security experts

ukgnome
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They have a website?

Honestly I have never needed to visit it, can't think why....oh hang on, is it because the food is second rate.

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Trump's cyber-guru Giuliani runs ancient 'easily hackable website'

ukgnome
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Re: el reg suggestion

Yeah but the station is on fire - as is the train

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Europe mulls treating robots legally as people ... but with kill switches

ukgnome
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Turn Off

Well that's only going to upset Richard Herring

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Donald Trump will take cybersecurity advice from, um, Rudy Giuliani

ukgnome
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Surely Trump will just keep paying the $50K until the cyber issue goes away.

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Terry Pratchett's self-written documentary to be broadcast in 2017

ukgnome
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I am now reading Pratchett to my boy and have fallen in love with his writing again.

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Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

ukgnome
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Meanwhile in Norfolk

We get up to walking speed - although I am lucky and get tractor speed

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Weaky-leaks: Furious fans roast Assange in web interview from hell

ukgnome
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Oh I was insinuating that Putin was doing the double plunge.

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ukgnome
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Assange - another Putin puppet - well the guy does have two hands.

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Crumbs. Exceedingly good cakes, meat dressing price hike in wake of the Brexit

ukgnome
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@Craig McGill 1

No Craig - it isn't.

Doesn't anybody understand how the toblerone fulcrum maneuver.

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ukgnome
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@Steve davies 3

no - frency fancy - it's one of the kippling range....dear lord - why don't you know your cakes.

The joke doesn't work if I have to first explain that the fancy is a kippling staple.

This is so typical of brexit - the marmite of all online comments.

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ukgnome
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Well done Brexit!

Now I can't afford a french fancy because of immigration or summink!

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Renault goes open source with next-gen electric buggy you might generously call 'a car'

ukgnome
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What a horrible looking thing

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Bank robber reveals identity – by using his debit card during crime

ukgnome
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This could never happen in the UK - the queues make you forget what you were in for.

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The wait is over ... Nokia's BACK!

ukgnome
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Looks like it will soon be time to ditch the apple.

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Man jailed for 3 days after Texas cops confuse cat litter for meth

ukgnome
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Takes the piss doesn't it

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Assange confirmed alive, tells Fox: Prez Obama 'acting like a lawyer'

ukgnome
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Because the Russians would totally submit the files themselves right?

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New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'

ukgnome
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AKA The Brittany

Oops I did it again

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$17k win for man falsely accused of a terrible crime: Downloading an Adam Sandler movie

ukgnome
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There is a crime here folks

The Cobbler is beyond terrible, although I hear that Richard Herring has a soft spot for it.

Adam Sandler shouldn't just be arrested - he should be sent to the gulags.

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Playtime's over: Internet-connected kids toys 'fail miserably' at privacy

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

you mean this James Bond spy kit really works?

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