* Posts by ukgnome

1718 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Lord of the Dance set to deliver high kicks at Trump’s big ball

ukgnome
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Sounds

unmissable.....no sorry I mean umm missable

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Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

ukgnome
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What would Trump care - he doesn't use computers.

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Li-ion tamers: Boffins build battery with built-in fire extinguisher

ukgnome
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erm

wouldn't it be better to perfect the battery instead of adding bits to it?

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Did Oculus swipe blueprints from rival? Zuck takes the stand

ukgnome
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I don't need a 3D headset - I have two eyes.

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Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

ukgnome
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Alien

I for one am disappointed that this isn't alien overlords.

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Chelsea Manning sentence slashed by Prez Obama: She'll be sprung in the spring

ukgnome
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Assange is vermin

the thing is, he's a Russian puppet just like trumpski.

I am pleased Manning will be getting out. Just hope the trumptards don't get nasty.

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UK's lords want more details on adult website check plans

ukgnome
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Gimp

Are you 18

Yes / No

sorted

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Apple sings another iTune following Brexit as prices rise by up to a third

ukgnome
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Maybe just maybe

the extra cash can pay for the tax they have been evading.

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RIP Eugene Cernan: Last man on the Moon dies aged 82

ukgnome
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Pioneers of Space

It's a shame we have forgotten how to take further small steps.

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Apple vs. Samsung goes back to court, again, to re-assess the value of a rounded corner

ukgnome
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Hasn't anyone mentioned Prior Art yet?

While we are at it can we sue Motorola - their Razr never did give me a clean cut.

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Drone biz Lily Robotics takes $34m in pre-orders, ships nothing, shuts down, gets sued by San Francisco DA

ukgnome
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Coat

This is what happens

When you go on and on about a feature you can't deliver.

*drone joke is obvious

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McDonald's forget hash, browns off security experts

ukgnome
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They have a website?

Honestly I have never needed to visit it, can't think why....oh hang on, is it because the food is second rate.

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Trump's cyber-guru Giuliani runs ancient 'easily hackable website'

ukgnome
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Re: el reg suggestion

Yeah but the station is on fire - as is the train

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Europe mulls treating robots legally as people ... but with kill switches

ukgnome
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Turn Off

Well that's only going to upset Richard Herring

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Donald Trump will take cybersecurity advice from, um, Rudy Giuliani

ukgnome
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Surely Trump will just keep paying the $50K until the cyber issue goes away.

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Terry Pratchett's self-written documentary to be broadcast in 2017

ukgnome
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I am now reading Pratchett to my boy and have fallen in love with his writing again.

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Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

ukgnome
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Meanwhile in Norfolk

We get up to walking speed - although I am lucky and get tractor speed

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Weaky-leaks: Furious fans roast Assange in web interview from hell

ukgnome
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Oh I was insinuating that Putin was doing the double plunge.

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ukgnome
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Assange - another Putin puppet - well the guy does have two hands.

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Crumbs. Exceedingly good cakes, meat dressing price hike in wake of the Brexit

ukgnome
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@Craig McGill 1

No Craig - it isn't.

Doesn't anybody understand how the toblerone fulcrum maneuver.

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ukgnome
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@Steve davies 3

no - frency fancy - it's one of the kippling range....dear lord - why don't you know your cakes.

The joke doesn't work if I have to first explain that the fancy is a kippling staple.

This is so typical of brexit - the marmite of all online comments.

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ukgnome
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Well done Brexit!

Now I can't afford a french fancy because of immigration or summink!

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Renault goes open source with next-gen electric buggy you might generously call 'a car'

ukgnome
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What a horrible looking thing

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Bank robber reveals identity – by using his debit card during crime

ukgnome
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This could never happen in the UK - the queues make you forget what you were in for.

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The wait is over ... Nokia's BACK!

ukgnome
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Looks like it will soon be time to ditch the apple.

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Man jailed for 3 days after Texas cops confuse cat litter for meth

ukgnome
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Takes the piss doesn't it

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Assange confirmed alive, tells Fox: Prez Obama 'acting like a lawyer'

ukgnome
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Because the Russians would totally submit the files themselves right?

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New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'

ukgnome
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AKA The Brittany

Oops I did it again

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$17k win for man falsely accused of a terrible crime: Downloading an Adam Sandler movie

ukgnome
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There is a crime here folks

The Cobbler is beyond terrible, although I hear that Richard Herring has a soft spot for it.

Adam Sandler shouldn't just be arrested - he should be sent to the gulags.

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Playtime's over: Internet-connected kids toys 'fail miserably' at privacy

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

you mean this James Bond spy kit really works?

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Sigh... 'Hundreds of thousands' of... sigh, web CCTV cams still at risk of... sigh, hijacking

ukgnome
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let's cluster these all together and create a terrifying all seeing computational menace.

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

ukgnome
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That's it! I am never eating another £5 note!

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Microsoft's chaps slap Slack chat brats with yackety-yak app

ukgnome
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Yawn

So microsoft have basically re-packed parts of skype for business then.

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Brexit may not mean Brexit at all: UK.gov loses Article 50 lawsuit

ukgnome
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Oh for fucks sake!

We really are not very good at this are we, I don't care who said what and how we voted. Just hit the trigger and sort it out.

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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

ukgnome
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Re: The Red Barrows

Nope - these guys instead!

www.earthboundmisfits.co.uk/red-marrows-arena-show

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Job ad asks for 'detrimental' sysadmin

ukgnome
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I find the jobs full of blue sky typing are the best

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Idiot brings gun-shaped iPhone to airport

ukgnome
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Too many commentards.....

Are actually being nice about this chap - seriously is idiot the only word?

This brainless douche canoe is a fucking bellend of the highest magnitude - a pillock of the community and a total ball bag.

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Man sues YET AGAIN for chance to marry his computer

ukgnome
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I never thought I would say this :-

I feel sorry for the Genius Bar chap that has to carry out the repair

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Plymouth 'animal rights' teen admits Florida SeaWorld cyber attack

ukgnome
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@not.known@this.address

You are mistaking entertaining hairless apes as research.

But since you ask, I visited Seaworld two years ago and it made me want to throw up. I already knew before I visited that I would detest it. But I needed to witness how fucking horrific it was just so that my opinion was validated.

You cannot compare such an awful place with reputable centres with breeding programs and return to the wild programmes.

And I am sure the young chap would love to join a research vessel or have a stint on a Sea Sheppard vessel. Lord knows I would jump at the chance

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ukgnome
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As soon as he turns 18 I would like to buy him a pint. Seaworld is a despicable slave centre.

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Vodafone hints at relocation from UK

ukgnome
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Time to go and pay no tax somewhere else?

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Chatbot lawyer shreds $2.5m in parking tickets

ukgnome
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How long before we can turn this bot into a nazi sex pest?

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Lester Haines: RIP

ukgnome
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Oh for fucks sake

Lester was a true legend, his articles always and I mean ALWAYS made me smile.

He will be sorely missed.

I am gonna quaff and ale and have a post-pub nosh in his honour.

2016 is the shittest year ever!

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Judge slams BT for blaming engineer after 7 metre ceiling plunge

ukgnome
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But did BT mend the fault?

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Unicode serves up bacon emoji

ukgnome
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Trollface

Still no Ginger

This is just another form of bullying.

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Winston Churchill glowers from Blighty's plastic fiver

ukgnome
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We need 20's and 50's in this non-stick form.

To really get your monies worth from Charles

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Slack vs. Skype

ukgnome
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Slack is fast becoming a player - just hope they don't try to monitise it

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US military tests massive GPS jamming weapon over California

ukgnome
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Testing over California

Seems a bit LAX

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Why does an Android keyboard need to see your camera and log files – and why does it phone home to China?

ukgnome
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And meanwhile......

Does this apple taste sweeter to you?

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England just not windy enough for wind farms, admits renewables boss

ukgnome
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Re: Nuclear

@Symon - That's a solution that I wouldn't be totally against.

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