* Posts by ukgnome

1868 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Mythical broadband speeds to plummet in crackdown on ISP ads

ukgnome
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I wonder if they will be using the data from all the Sam Knows white boxes?

And is this an end to traffic management?

SSE will now be rated as a 1Mbs service

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Borat creator offers to cover mankini fines. Is nice!

ukgnome
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I don't know what is worse - the idiot tourists or Sacha?

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Uber: Hackers stole 57m passengers, drivers' info. We also bribed the thieves $100k to STFU

ukgnome
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How are these idiots still a thing.

worst company ever!

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The Reg parts ways with imagineer and thought pathfinder Steve Bong

ukgnome
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Goodbye Comrade Bong - if that is your real name.

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Donald Trump's tweets: Are they presidential statements or not?

ukgnome
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Twitter should stick to the T&C and ban the orange twerp.

"frequently comprise taunts and insults covering everyone from sports stars to world leaders."

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

ukgnome
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Re: Grammar!

And yet you still understood the sentence the way it was constructed.

I bet you're fun at parties.

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ukgnome
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Re: Howay in a manger

I am a vegetarian and even I know this to be true!

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World Vasectomy Day: 15k men line up for live vent-blocking

ukgnome
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I remember fondly my op.

Told by the Dr that I had to have a big breakfast, 2 if I can manage it.

Upon inspection told that I had carried out an excellent de-fuzz. Then had three separate nurse also inspect the fine job that I had carried out.

The operation itself was a breeze.

The most awkward part was the small talk. (pun intended)

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UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

ukgnome
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Eeek

Time to moderate my comments

___ ______ _ _____ _ smiley

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Irish priests told to stop bashing bishops

ukgnome
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no helpline required

Sending thoughts and prayers

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Pixel-style display woes on your shiny new X? Perfectly normal, says Apple

ukgnome
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Trollface

Rose Tinted?

How long until the iGlasses are released to help correct the display?

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Guy Glitchy: Villagers torch Openreach effigy

ukgnome
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Re: I regularly communicate with openreach

I have no idea why the decided to answer my email - I just filled out an online form and then all of a sudden they started replying. I think they confused me for someone else maybe - UKgnome is a popular name in these parts.

Installing a new cab - disruption blah blah as all other providers have to agree - that is quite a weird response as it is a BT only exchange.

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ukgnome
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I regularly communicate with openreach

The last email I received is this when I asked why the delay.

Hello UKgnome

Very sorry for the long delay in responding to your enquiry.

Unfortunately I do not have encouraging news that brings an end to your frustration. The issue that has occurred is you are connected directly to the exchange, we cannot deliver superfast broadband by this method. So a cabinet has to be placed over your cable, so the copper and fibre services can be combined. For this to happen, among other things, all providers have to agree a timeframe for a short interruption of services.

I can only suggest you continue to keep an eye on the website and soon you will see it change from 'in scope' to 'accepting orders'

Regards

Ian Openreach

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Donald, YOU'RE FIRED: Rogue Twitter worker quits, deletes President Trump's account

ukgnome
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Twitter should stick to the T&C and ban the orange twerp.

Twitter is an unusual place. They will ban you for small idiotic things. But if you are the President Cheetos then you can call people pathetic, sad, weird, crooked. You can incite war and generally do anything you damn well please. Twitter should stick to the T&C and ban the orange twerp.

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Simon's Cat app rapped for random 'racy' advert

ukgnome
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Wish.com

the fine purveyor of things you never knew you needed.

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One-third of mobile users receive patchy to no indoor coverage

ukgnome
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https://checker.ofcom.org.uk/mobile-coverage

ofcoms checker is full of lies

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Hells door-bells! Ring pieces paralyzed in horror during Halloween trick-or-treat rush

ukgnome
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I had to read this article several times, google the stupid bloody doorbell.

Why does a doorbell have to be internet enabled. What kind of tomfuckery is that.

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NASA reveals Curiosity 2020's 23-camera payload

ukgnome
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I thought the military team living on mars could just bolt on a new camera to the old rover.

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First iPhone X fondlers struggle to admit that Face ID sort of sucks

ukgnome
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Currently I am a bearded fool. If I give in to all the razor adverts and shave, would I need to remind the X who I am?

Personally I don't think you should experiment with tech on a live audience.

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Caption this: Capita staff picket a bunch o'er pickled pensions

ukgnome
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Create Tomorrow they say, tomorrows what? Presumably Tomorrows poor?

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Submarine builder admits dismembering journalist's body

ukgnome
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Jeez you guys

There is an entirely innocent explanation for all of this......

She banged didn't bang her head after not being dropped of at a restaurant. Just at the moment she thought she had banged her head there was a buildup of carbon monoxide. This rendered her unconscious and maybe dead. This chap did what we all would do. ALL OF US. And that is slightly dismember her whilst watching dismemberment videos. Scuppering the submarine and then forgetting this took place when asked and then slowly remembering what occurred due to terrible shock.

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Man: Just 18 Bitcoin babies and my home is yours

ukgnome
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Re: Strangely complicated...

Happy to correct you - This isn't about free advertising it is about using one system over another. It is a preferred method.

Yes he could sell conventionally and have all the usual fun experiences that go with it.

He is selling this himself - website is sellmyhousedn329lp.co.uk but why not market the house to as many ways as possible. Also I think it might be a way to lessen the costs associated with all the

It fits with his ethics and ethos to buy and sell with bitcoin.

If we only did things that was considered normal then the world would not have art or music.

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ukgnome
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He's asking for what? I thought a grimbarian would want a trawler of fish!

Joking aside I know the owner and this fits with his ethos.

Brave maybe? I couldn't answer but certainly one to watch.

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BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

ukgnome
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On a clients site I almost fell out of a second story building window (double fire door) that could be opened fully to allow a loader to push a pallet into a server room. I still don't know why it had a push bar on it.

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Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

ukgnome
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The first I have ever said this

Cake is not the solution

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Assange™ says Trump's voter-targeting firm asked WikiLeaks for something

ukgnome
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The thing I don't get is why we should believe this reprehensible snake.

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Credit insurance tightens for geek shack Maplin Electronics

ukgnome
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Re: Needs disco lessons.

Over here we had Tandy (same as radioshack)

They died, which was a shame for the hobbyist and enthusiast.

I had my first home computer experience in a Tandy. Happy days.

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ukgnome
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Re: Screwfix

I think the change in attitudes haven't helped.

The Maplins are now toy shops.

Ten tears ago instead of buying their overpriced network cables you just went to the back and had the cable monkey make one from scratch. These days the cable monkey can't terminate ends.

If push comes to shove it's a great place for emergency buys. But it lost its way, it should be the champion of home kits and DIY not ready assembled drones.

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Misco UK chops majority of workforce, pulls down shutters

ukgnome
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That is quite saddening

The Misco catalogue was always the argos catalogue for IT workers.

Sad times to see them go the way of Tandy

Still at least there is Maplins

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Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

ukgnome
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Leaf it alone Microsoft, haven't you twigged that no one really needs to branch out to this kind of meeting venue.

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Beardy Branson chucks cash at His Muskiness' Hyperloop idea

ukgnome
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Hype errr loopy

This is not the next big thing.

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ukgnome
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Norwich is a fine city - Although I do agree that it's not a first thought for a little trip out. Although now we have a Krispy Kreme and a 5-guys it is looking up.

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Twitter: Why we silenced Rose McGowan after she slammed alleged sex pest Harvey Weinstein

ukgnome
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Twitter is Mos Eisley

A hive of scum and villainy.

All that is missing is the Bith tootling away whilst Max Rebo gets the boogie on.

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BOFH: Oh dear. Did someone get lost on the Audit Trail?

ukgnome
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I was expecting a tie in the cutters sort of scenario - didn't guess the decoy bit. Although Simon was being quite accommodating.

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Crappy upload speeds a thing of the past in fresh broadband 'net spec

ukgnome
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About as much chance as being struck by lightning!

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They've only gone and made a chemical-threat-detecting ring

ukgnome
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Frodo took one look at this and thought - yep, happy to chuck that.

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Apple's iPhone X won't experience the joy of 6...

ukgnome
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I really enjoy my apple products - my iPhone is my link to the world when I am away from home. The 8 is as advertised. A fast, battery sparing and sleek designed phone. It's familiar enough to be like all the other iPhones I have owned. It takes beautiful looking pictures and is rather jolly nice.

Now I could of hung on until the X but here is why I didn't. The sacrifice of the home button for facetech or whatever they are calling it is a step too far. It is untested. Maybe once it has done a couple of years and is proven I will feel different, but right now it is just too much.

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Leicestershire teen admits attempting to hack director of the CIA

This post has been deleted by a moderator

ukgnome
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Re: Remember back when "sense of proportion" was a thing?

You seem a mighty big man Jim wanting to smack kids.

How about we review your life history and for everything we deem wrong we get to punch you.

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BlackBerry's new Motion will move you neither to tears of joy nor sadness

ukgnome
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It looks just like a nasty Sony Xperia

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Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

ukgnome
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I always go for an early 10am showing - less people

Gone are the days when i need to see it first. Hell, i am even willing to wait for it on streaming sites.

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Zuck shows Virtual Empathy by visiting Puerto Rico in VR

ukgnome
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Well isn't zuck an awesome dude

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After seven-hour operation, the ISS has a new 'hand'

ukgnome
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After all the years of live feeds and videos of these awesome folk in space I am still in awe.

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Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

ukgnome
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What is needed is a massive sieve!

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Snap, crackle ... patch! Apple kicks out iOS 11.0.2 to tackle crappy calls, fix email glitches

ukgnome
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No, I would prefer them to drop the latest iOS after testing. My 6s has all manner of weird glitches. Although I get my 8 later, so who knows what soft of user experience I will have with the current fastest smartphone in the world.

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ukgnome
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Do you think they rush out the iOS a bit quick? Two patches in rapid succession !!!!

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Ex-Harrods IT man cleared of stealing company issued laptop

ukgnome
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The first thing that anyone with a work laptop should be told is - Any data on this device is ours.

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Pumpkin bumpkins battle, 800kg monstrosity wins

ukgnome
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Re: Pumpkin bumpkin

If you listen to Richard Herring's AIOTM then you would know what a Trumpkin is.

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Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

ukgnome
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Mushroom

For some reason I immediately thought of Atomic Train.

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