Help for those encumbered with their virginity.
You can be interested in computers and get some serious tupping done. First you need to understand why you aren't currently. This is for a few reasons (all may not apply),
1- You have the physique of a rolled up duvet.
2- You have a basement complexion
3- They aren't interested in your interests
4- You are interested in their interests
So you need to change these. I shall use cobol line numbering as cobol rocks!
00001 Find a farm, a proper one with a fat old man in charge who doesn't believe in machinery. A stables is a must!
00002 Spend a summer doing the harvest etc. 4:30am to 10pm running around pulling trailers, carrying several sacks of grain, potatoes, carrots etc up and down ladders will get you fit and tanned.
00003 Now wangle a job in the stables. Horsie girls will frequent them. Horsie girls are naughty! This is a good thing.
00004 Get to know a little about horses (see warning below), take an interest in them, this gives you something to talk to horsie girls about.
00005 Wait for a cool morning, muck out the stables without your shirt on. Now you are in a position where they know you, you are comfortable speaking to them, you have a decent physique and again, they want you. You will quickly find yourself in the tack shed playing hows your father with Sally Branston-Pickle-Smythe*
There was always some kind of weird correlation between longer surnames and loving a bit of rough! Whatever works in your favour.
Horses are 1000lbs of teeth, muscle and hooves and about 1/4 ounce of brain. About 49% of this brain is devoted to eating, 50% to pure evil and 1% to standing up. Try not to go near them alone. I saw one of them bite the side of a girls face off for no reason, other than the voices told it to?
Oh and you get paid for all this, which helps fund your hobby / dirty secret.