Posts by Laurent_Z

@Mike Crawshaw

You can add Lolita by Nabokov, most social studies on Medieval Japan, Europe, Asia pertaining to mariage and/or sexual habits up to 1930 (people were married quite younger then, in their 15s and 16s, and for medieval anything you were married around 12-13 y.o.)

You can also outlaw quite a lot of countries were you can marry @ 16 y.o...(don't forget, both the civil code and the wedding pictures will have to be prohibited)

BTW, my grandfater was married @17 y.o, and my Grandmother was 16y.o. at the time. I absolutly must destroy those wedding pictures, I wouldn't want my grandparents to get arrested because they were both pedophiles at the time...And I really hope they didn't take pictures of their honeymoon, it would be an aggravating thingy, circumstance.

Just for fun, I remember a story about a 19 year old that had a 17 year old girlfriend in the US (awful, isn't it ? true depravity ! should never happens...)

The mother of the girl disliked him and reported him to the police...

He is now married with the same girl, but has since acquired a rap sheet as sexual offender/child molester, had to "separate" until she got 18, cannot legally be left alone with his own children or pick them up from school, must report himself to the police if he changes his home adress, ad nauseam.

I also remember that story about a girl of 15 that took pictures of herself barebreasted and sent them to her boyfriend. She actually got arrested for diffusion of underage pictures.

/coat, Mine is the one belonging to the penitentiary administration

@ Chris Bradshaw : Buying a bride

I always take the ones with a 30 days return garantee.

I haven't yet found one "satisfied or reimbursed" yet, but I'll keep an eye out.

-Paris, because she already got returned more than once -

"even the idea of using extreme violence to manage system processes is nothing new"

Shame on you, Bill.

A Doom (FPS) reference here at the Register, for this article?

I have been a faithfull Reg reader for a number of years, and when I think about "using extreme violence to manage system processes ", the first thing I think about is the BOFH, not the game Doom !

I hope this week-end in the elevator has made you think about proper references.

Swedish 914 Mail

Dear Sir,

We learned of your recent grief, and would like to introduce you to an exciting offer on this new, patented Swedish Pump, known...

Mine is the latex one with the sem----water proof coating

Champion Counter Strike Team under arrest. Deportation at 11.

A Champion Counter Strike team that opened a training school for wanabees players got under arrest after playing 12 consecutive rounds as terrorists.

"Where they playing Terrorists and Counter Terrorists alternatively, we would have had nothing to say, but 12 rounds as terrorists is clearly indicating a morbid tendency we have to fight" said London Super Intendant.

The award winning team is also indicted for providing links to Enemy Territory, where one can play the German Army, and the leader of the team for having played a Dark Elf (Evil/Bad) at the last AD&D tournament.

Mine is the white coat with the large red cross and +5 Cleric Broadsword.

Next time

Tell us a little before so we can pony up some beer money for you guys on a paypal account.

Mine is the one with the 44 ounces pockets.

What's the name of Freedom Of Information request in the USA ?

And I would need a national to make the demand...

Ah, vintage pron 8)

"Can 1,000 fans replace the music business?"

Oh yes, they can.

Moving a lot of hot air isn't so hard that a thousands fans aren't up to the task.

I know. /me coat.

I only know the oldish Heathrow

When I came in from Paris with my two hand luggages I had no problem, no comment, and not even a "welcome, Sir" as in the good old days.

When I tried to go back home, they told me I couldn't embark with my two "luggages" (one dell laptop, one smallish bag for overnight stay), even when I proved they both fitted in the 'max size for luggages" box.

The alternative proposed to me where :

1/ buy a larger bag to fit them both at the airport terminal (150/200£, minimum)

2/ leave a luggage and get it back on my return trip (LOL ! as if I would come back. and this was my return trip)

3/ drop a luggage in the trash can (my clothes or my laptop...nice choice)

When I started asking them for a trash bag so I could fit both my bags in it an take my flight, they said that anyhow they would'nt allow me to do it, and that as my flight was running in 15 minutes I had very few time to find an alternative.

=> a 1.5kg clothe bag in the hold, I just had to wait for it 1hour at Charles de Gaulle.

Next trip to the UK will be by Eurostar, hoping they are less "Assholy" than Heathrow teams.

Ballmer Tag : because evil has a face

Happened this week to a french civil servant

The guy is "Sous-prefet", so it's mostly administrative conduct of a french "Departement" (like a state in the US, no idea what the equivalent is in the UK)

He got suspended because he left a very unfavourable comment on Israel politics on a blog somewhere (www.oumma.com), saying for instance that "Israel was the only known country where "snipers" did target and kill little girls just out of school" (commenting actual press coverage of incidents in Palestine). Also that "The memory of the Shoah has become a fearsome mass intimidation weapon wielded by Isreal and its allies".

When suspended, he said that he had been doing International Politics analysis for 10 years, and that the subject was out of his professional activity scope, so there shouldn't be any problem.

He was suspended nonetheless.

http://www.lemonde.fr/societe/article/2008/03/24/sous-prefet-limoge-le-19-mars-bruno-guigue-ecrivait-depuis-2006-sur-le-site-oumma-com_1026745_3224.html#ens_id=1026594

/me choose coat, as it's all you can take when sacked.

Sweden had the opposite view

One of their operator had a nice idea : you get money on every call you receive ...

Quite simple : they share the termination fee with you. The more phone calls you receive, the more money you get.

Ok it's not a huge sum. But it saved many a teenager monthly bill.

@Adrian Challinor

Sorry, you gonna be disappointed as I smoke (expensive, luxury, british, ex-Queen-Purveyor, large Red packs, Dun**ll) basic tobacco.

The medley from the previous post comes from too many (drunken) AD&D nights in my youth, and the complete collection of Terry Pratchett books I accumulated.

The sentence on "wear and tear on virgins" also comes from Pratchett, in the book "Guards ! Guards !" I think.

As they say, plagiarism is the highest form of litterary flattery (and the highest source of copyrights income) 8p

"Gosh, it's a Snuke !"

"a Snuke ?"

"Yes. It's a Nuke. In her Snatch !"

South Park, season 2008 I think.

Hilary Clinton was the bomber it this particular episode. And Cartman played Agent Bauer...

surströmming ! Ah, memories !

Had a swedish colleague some years ago. He explained and then demonstrated to me the finest points of eating surströmming.

First you keep the freshly made can for half a year minimum. It's "good for consuption" only when the can starts to have bulges showing an increase of internal pressure. When the bulges stop increasing, it's good, which takes you to a year, year and a half old can.

Then you make a rye bread sandwich with butter, potatoes, onions and surströmming, potatoes and onions balancing the strong fish taste.

The "older" way is much simpler : get the fish on a plate, put onions and potatoes if you have them, dip with bread and eat along with firebrannwien ("spiced" vodka).

No herbs or color admitted, it should be grayish with a white counterpoint.

As long as you dislike the taste of surströmming, you keep on drinking and eating.

When you start thinking around the lines of "surströmming is not so bad", you have reached an optimum drunkeness point and you should avoid both surströmming and vodka until you get down a bit and enjoy the bliss (also, at this point most women will become more attractive to you... ).

If you suddenly like surströmming a lot, you are definetly pissed and should also refrain as you reached a dangerous point with a near future full of rotten fish and ugly girls (this is a direct quote of my friend).

Assholes.

Yeah, I know. /coat.

BOFH

Nahh, he would have had the PHB push it just in front of the CCTV camera, all the while pretexting an IT calendar for the company 8)

"whether Galileo was actually required, and if so for what"

USA controlled navigation system.

IF (lol) there is a war with europe, they engage the encryption units and are the only ones having navigational capabilities...

Officially, the system to militarily encrypt the GPS feed is not to be added to future sats, "and will not be used at all. Trust Us !"

Now, Blighty is sure to be on the side of Rightoutness, but we on the old continent would prefer to still be independant from Uncle Sam in case we have to fight them.

Importance of cynicism : all you risk is being favorably dissapointed...

Maybe it's because English is not my first language...

but the sentence "Blanchard seemed to care very much about the people he was involved in" evoques more the deeds of a Gigolo/sexual offender than anything else.

Or maybe "To be involved in (someone)" has another meaning across the pond ?

@Laurie

Sorry, I forgot the "/flame" 8)

/humor

No contest on the rest ?

/Coat

8p

@Supermeerkat : you are badly out of Touch !!!

Dinosaurs where placed by overly bored technicians when they had "Earth" built.

Please consult reference texts at the following link :

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/p/terry-pratchett/strata.htm

Read it, be Enlightened, and then come back to discuss theology with us.

Regards,

Laurent

Grand-Master of the Ancient Guild of the Small OOOOK, Ankh Morpokh.