* Posts by User McUser

502 posts • joined 6 May 2011

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Your future boss? An employee-interrogating bot – it's an open-source gift from Dropbox

User McUser

Two Truths and a Lie

"So, we don’t bother you for some period of time, because we can be pretty sure three sudos in a row, in the same context, are all you."

So the lesson here is to be sure and conceal your malicious activities alongside two legitimate tasks.

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FCC lops off red tape around small US ISPs, y'know, things like having to own up about connection speeds

User McUser
Facepalm

Such a burden...

I mean you'd have to open your email, attach a spreadsheet, and then send it... Whew, I'm tired from just *thinking* about that.

Seriously, how hard or expensive could it possibly be to report this info? Any ISP worth a shit should already be tracking all of these things internally, so just fill out the FCC form and mail it in you twats.

Where's the indignant eye-roll icon?

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

User McUser
Black Helicopters

Alternative Angle

There's another spin on this - "New Navy Helicopters Hardened Against Network Based Attacks"

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Why I had to sue the FCC – VoIP granddaddy Dan Berninger

User McUser
FAIL

[Plain Old Telephone Service] literally didn’t do anything different or new from 1934 to 1996, when the internet came along - there was no important new service. It didn’t add new value.

Of course it didn't[1], but that didn't stop people from launching OTT services.

Remember fax machines? They ran on top of the POTS lines and provided new value to an existing infrastructure. Ditto for modems that connected computers to BBSes and The Internet.

[1] Just kidding - it did plenty of innovation and investment. The two that spring immediately to mind are DTMF (aka "Touch-Tone Dialing") and Caller ID. Both are improvements to the POTS that occurred during the stated time frame that added new value. DTMF added value by allowing the Customer Service Phone Tree to exist, streamlining call routing, and Caller ID allows me to ignore people *much* more efficiently.

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Magic Leap sued for sex discrimination … by woman it hired to stamp out sex discrimination

User McUser
Joke

"Wizards Wanted"

[the] jobs page was titled "Wizards wanted," seemingly shutting out women.

Are women not allowed to be wizards?

If so, then someone should let Hermione know before she wastes any more of her time...

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3

The Register's guide to protecting your data when visiting the US

User McUser
Devil

Tapes?

The CBP told The Register it reserves the right to check "computers, disks, drives, tapes, mobile phones and other communication devices, cameras, music and other media players, and any other electronic or digital devices."

Oh my, you can have fun* with this!

Step 1: Procure as many QIC-80 tapes (or whatever your favorite obsolete tape backup format is) as you can via eBay and the like. Make sure you have enough to catch CBP's attention but still fit easily in your carry-on baggage.

Step 2: Bulk erase said tapes with a very strong magnet. Really scramble that rust.

Step 3: Enter America; when asked "what's on the tapes?" look around nervously and then say "Nothing... Why?"

Step 4: Laugh your ass off as they cart them off to be "inspected" at Uncle Sam's expense.

*Fun levels may vary inversely with melanin levels.

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Roses are red, you're feeling blue, 'cos no one wants to watch VR telly with you

User McUser
Angel

Friends live all over...

Maybe they want to watch a TV show with their pal, but said pal lives hundreds of miles away?

Or maybe their friend has a disability that makes it difficult or inconvenient to physically go places but they would still like to socialize with others?

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High tides: Boffins spy on dolphins baked on poisonous piscines

User McUser
Coat

Re: Further study required!

(BTW, I could have done without the tales of reindeer-herders drinking deer piss. But I suppose it's about the same as them breaking out a case of Bud Light after a hard day's herding.)

Plus deer piss is cheaper because you can get it from under a buck.

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Hyperloop sueball noose-man launches tube-travel rival

User McUser

Who keeps giving these people money?

See title.

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Trump cybersecurity order morphs into 2,200-plus-word extravaganza

User McUser
Go

Re: Sounds great

I think you're right - the best way to get things done in IT is to produce lots of lengthy reports. It never fails. The more reports, the more work gets done. Simples.

Don't forget about the all important committees, review boards, blue-ribbon panels, commissions, independent investigators, task forces, advisory groups, consultants, etc.

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Conviction by computer is go, confirms UK Ministry of Justice

User McUser
Unhappy

Prosecution Costs?!

Defendants persuaded to plead guilty online will automatically be issued [...] prosecution costs

And exactly what prosecution costs would those be m'ludd? The 1p worth of electricity the server uses processing the form submission?

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Russia (A) bans web porn as a 'bad influence' (B) decriminalizes domestic violence – or (C) all of the above?

User McUser

there's a growing amount of evidence that pornography can be slightly detrimental to mental health in some cases

That's news to me. Care to provide some links to said evidence?

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Why don't you all just f-f-f-fade away, Kaspersky asks generation SocMed

User McUser

Fee Structure Unclear

For US$1.99 a month you'll be able to back up all four.

So you pay $1.99/mo forever or they delete the backups?

Or do you pay $1.99 for each month's worth of Data you backup?

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Humanity needs you... to build an AI bot that can finger rotten headlines

User McUser
WTF?

How is this a problem?

The data that does exist (eg, fact checker website archives) is almost all copyright protected.

I don't see why that's a problem - they would not be republishing or distributing the copyrighted material, only analyzing it. Why should copyright enter into it at all?

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Felted! AI poker bot Libratus cleans out pros in grueling tournament, smugly trousers $1.8m

User McUser
Coat

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

P-P-P-Poke Her Face.

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Sony takes $1bn writedown: Streaming has killed the DVD star

User McUser

No so much...

[Blu-Ray] was the final straw in the endless format upgrade cycle, in which Hollywood expected people to repurchase their entire film collection every few years

VHS - 1977

DVD - 1995

Blu-Ray - 2006

Seems like a perfectly reasonable upgrade cycle to me. Now if you count the "also-rans" (eg: HD-DVD, the original DIVX, and Betamax) then you might have a point.

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Corn-based diet turns French hamsters into baby eating cannibals

User McUser

When I was but a lad, my brother and I had two mice as pets. Then one morning we woke to find that we now had one mouse, half a mouse carcass, and some surplus bits of mouse offal.

Turns out that rodents are, as a rule, horrid little things; probably something to do with their pan-dimensional existence.

6
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Zuck off: Facebook's big kahuna sues Hawaiians to kick 'em off their land

User McUser

Re: The Zuckerberg Effect

So, Zuckerberg buys some land and it then goes down in value.

Sorry, but no - the assessed value is what the government has decided a piece of property is worth for tax and/or regulatory purposes. The price paid when someone purchases the property is completely unrelated.

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Anti-smut law dubs PCs, phones 'pornographic vendor machines', demands internet filters

User McUser
Coat

Do these filters have to be installed on internet connected cars?

Of course! Doubly-so if you are a gluteophile.

After all, you wouldn't want anyone to die from auto-erotic ass-fixation...

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Banned! No streaming live democracy from your phones, US Congress orders reps

User McUser

Re: Isn't there a viewing gallery?

Yes there is, but the House can clear the gallery if they so please.

0
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Non-existent sex robots already burning holes in men’s pockets

User McUser
Joke

Warning from the Future (rama)

DON'T!

DATE!

ROBOTS!

This PSA brought to you by The Space Pope

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Rift rift assists swift shift at crest of adrift Occulus

User McUser
Devil

Re: Do not want

Don't care for VR, eh?

Well, I'd love to sit around and chat about it with you but I'm a little busy right now being a motherfucking wizard in The Unspoken. (Seriously, that game is awesome.)

0
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Oi, you, no flirting, no touching in the back of our rides, sniffs Uber

User McUser
Facepalm

Vomiting has also been cited as an infraction that may result in a ban now, but only under certain circumstances – specifically, excessive alcohol consumption.

Yes indeed, if you're too drunk to stop yourself from vomiting then you clearly belong behind the wheel of your own vehicle, not safely in the back of an Uber.

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China is building a full scale replica of the Titanic to repeatedly crash into iceberg

User McUser
Go

Life Imitates Art

Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 11 - In the "B" plot of the episode, Jerry and Beth go to a Titanic themed attraction with a full-size replica of said boat designed to recreate the famous events of 1912. However despite repeated assurances that the ship is un-unsinkable, everything goes wrong and the Titanic spectacularly fails to hit the iceberg much to the disappointment of all aboard.

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Reimagine with us, the FT's printed virtual reality guide to Dublin

User McUser
Headmaster

Printed VR

AKA the Stereoscope (sometimes erroneously referred to as a "Stereopticon.")

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Sky: Stuff your quad play – customers want separate bills

User McUser
Pint

Ecclesiastes 1:9

Features [...] include rolling data over into a "piggybank" – where you can use it at any point in the next three years

Wow, I remember using "time banks" on BBSes in the early to mid 1990s.

Amazing how things can change so much yet stay the same...

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Internet Archive preps Canadian safe haven to swerve Donald Trump

User McUser
Thumb Up

Tax deductable

I'd like to point out that donations to the Internet Archive, which is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization, are deductible (to the fullest extent allowed by law) from your US Federal Income taxes.

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Netflix and spill: Web vid giant kills password masking in tests

User McUser

So I guess I'm the only person on the planet who refuses to let my browser remember passwords?

Obligatory XKCD link.

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Microsoft's Neon project to redesign Windows for nerd goggles – reports

User McUser

TaskGallery

Microsoft has been working on new 3D interfaces for Windows since at least 2001.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-mhqYBm7Xo

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And with one stroke, Trump killed the Era of Slacktivism

User McUser

Mind your Ts & Cs

People want more control over their own photos, words and music when dealing with a giant content harvester like Facebook, not less.

This isn't a legislative or executive issue - this is a problem with Facebook's (et al) "Terms and Conditions."

The existing copyright laws *already* give you absolute full control over your own original works but in order to use most (if not all) of these sorts of services you are required to give up that control.

And given how popular Facebook is, people would seem to be generally ignorant of this or else just don't give a shit.

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Top of the bots: This AI isn't a cold, cruel killing machine – it's a pop music hit machine

User McUser
Go

This reminded me of two things.

First was "Title of the Song" by Davinci's Notebook which is essentially a lyrics template for a certain genre of pop song. (Lyrics here)

The second was Orwell's Ninteen Eight-Four. If I remember correctly Minitrue had a machine that generated songs called a "versificator."

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McDonald's sues Italian city for $20m after being burger-blocked

User McUser
Coat

Re: The real reason

Think about it - do you really want to see a Florence city street that is filled with flashing signs and golden arches? Is that why tourists visit it every year?

I mean, what's the point in going abroad if you're just another tourist carted 'round in busses surrounded by mindless sweaty oafs from Kettering and Boventry, complaining about the tea "Oh, they don't make it properly here, do they? Not like at home." And once a day there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins to buy cherry-aid and melted ice cream and bloody Watney's Red Barrel...

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I've arrived on Mars. Argggh, my back!

User McUser

Two questions...

First, isn't Mars' gravity something like .4G? Would the reported decrease in muscle mass even matter once you got there given the ~60% reduction in weight?

Second, why can't NASA just develop a training regiment that will build up these muscles whilst the astronauts are still on Earth? That way when they lose some of their muscle mass they're still at or above the "normal" range and once on Mars they can resume the training in anticipation of the return trip. Seems like the cheapest and simplest possible solution to me.

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And for our next trick, says Google while literally wheeling out a humongous tablet ...

User McUser

Seems a bit expensive...

Let's see, about $1,000 for a decent 4k TV, about $1,000 for the rest of the hardware (computery-bits, touch interface, camera, etc.), and we'll go crazy here and allocate $1,000 for all the software that Google provides.

I guess the other $3,000 is to make it reassuringly expensive?

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Is this the worst Blockchain idea you've ever heard?

User McUser
Devil

All your blocks are belong to chains.

With all these Blockchains out there we're obviously going to need a Blockchain-Blockchain to track changes in all the other Blockchains.

Blockchain!

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Think virtual reality is just about games? Think again, friend

User McUser
Boffin

Spoiler Alert: You Won't

As for when we will all be attending the local multiplex and putting on our headsets, well, that is still some distance away.

I don't think that this will ever happen, at least not on any large scale. You might see a few VR movie parlors open up here and there but these will not last very long IMHO. Why would I bother to go to out to a public space full of other people just to put on a headset that completely isolates me from said space and people?

It's sort of the point of VR that you get to go somewhere without actually going anywhere.

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Google Pixel: Devices are a dangerous distraction from the new AI interface

User McUser
Trollface

No thanks.

With a fabric cover, available in three shades, this is essentially a means of strapping a phone to your face and immersing yourself in VR content.

So I take this phone with a nice explody-possible battery and I put it real close to my eyes in an enclosed container made of flammable material?

What could possibly go wrong?

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IBM Watson Xprize is a chance to make AI more open, says prize team

User McUser
Childcatcher

Why no link?

For people slightly lazier than I am, the contest site is http://ai.xprize.org/.

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FT journo roasts channel leaders for spouting bullshit

User McUser

See also - Mission Statement

Track 8 of Weird Al's "Mandatory Fun" album.

Lyrics here for reference.

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Argos tech team updates iOS app with helpful info on 'eleventy-billion toilet seats'

User McUser
Devil

Gas leak hallucinations?!

No no no... They're just dead and in hell.

You know, because they played D&D in the 1980s.

0
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No wonder we're being hit by Internet of Things botnets. Ever tried patching a Thing?

User McUser
Megaphone

IOT is poorly named

What is currently called the Internet of Things should more rightly be called "Putting Things on the Internet." A proper "Internet of Things" would be devices in my house that communicate with *each other* and receive instructions from me via the Internet through a managed gateway device attached to my router.

At no point should any of these devices ever get direct unfettered access to the Internet for reasons which should be obvious if you read this article.

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Unlucky Luckey: Oculus developers invoke anti-douchebag clause, halt games for VR goggles

User McUser

Re: Vendor specific support? Wat?

Why isn't there a vendor neutral API[...]?

There are two currently: OSVR and OpenVR.

3
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Not enough personality: Google Now becomes Google Not Anymore

User McUser
User McUser
Flame

YPPWFTBW!

How does the character think of itself in a way that you can relate to? What is its childhood?

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, when did Google become the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation?

I do not want to have conversations *with* my phone - I want to find out what the weather forecast is or check my email or whatever and then have it shut the hell up.

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EyePhones packing Iris-scanning authentication to go mainstream

User McUser
Trollface

Re: Demolition Man

Because they'll want to gouge out their eyes and thus be unable to use their phones?

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Let's Encrypt won its Comodo trademark battle – but now fan tools must rename

User McUser
Go

Salad Days

If it were me, I'd have renamed it to "lettuce_encrypt.sh".

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MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

User McUser

"track and destroy targets over land and water"

But not over the horizon...

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Google-funded group mad that US Copyright Office hasn't abolished copyright yet

User McUser
Headmaster

Re: Far Too Long - thanks to Disney

It's the "limited" part that is now being violated.

Well *technically*, it *is* limited, even if they keep extending it. (See also "Eldred v. Ashcroft")

Even assuming that this extension continues unabated (perhaps some sort of copy-right extending robots can take over once the lawyers all die?), the sun will eventually consume the Earth in roughly 4.5 billion years.

Or in the worst-case scenario if we've arranged for some off-planet backup lawyers to be cached somewhere safe, the heat-death of the universe will arrive in about 10^100 years; ironically this is "one googol" years from now.

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Peccant pwners post 670,000 Pokémon punter MD5 passwords

User McUser
Devil

A wild Password appears!

You use MD5 Hash!

It's not very effective...

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