* Posts by Martin

16 posts • joined 11 Nov 2006

Apple sizes iPhone for dog's nose


knuckle print

"...the knuckle-print"... I like that. Gives a new meaning to the phrase "Punch in your password".

Or perhaps it's designed for the famed knuckle-greeting that rappers engage in—"Word".

Dogs reduce allergies in kids

Black Helicopters


It's Worms, I tell you. Infants put everything in their mouth, and I'm sure they get worms from the house animals...




Scientists create 'no-tears' onion


Rowlf from the Muppets said it best...

I never harmed an onion

So why should they make me cry...


DRM in latest QuickTime cripples Adobe video editing code


updating critical machines?

No, Anonymous is right. When I'm in the middle of a project, nothing is allowed to auto-update. And if it's related to the core of my business, then the update is done on a non-critical machine, or in a virtual machine.

That's just common sense.

eBay seller nabs $1500 for Jesus-like garage stain



I've got a birthmark on my left buttock which looks like Jesus. Of course, I can't sell it, but I'm offering anyone who feels so inclined the opportunity of staring at and worshiping my arse. Let's start a movement!

eBay item: 995477363564758688-993836565j.

Serious enquiries only!

Burned by a MacBook


Response to 'Too Complicated'

Please show me where my post makes fun of my granny? I explain what she did and say that it was dumb luck that she wasn't electrocuted, as she had no idea that rubber and wood were insulators. She could just as easily have stood on a metal chair, and changed the bulb with her bare wet hands. That is dumb luck. And that's my comparison to the article writer. She left her laptop charging on a carpet, under a sofa. It's dumb luck that she got burned by the cable, and not the house. It's a lot harder for a human to catch fire than a carpet/sofa.

In no way am I supporting dangerous/poorly designed equipment, but I've always taken pains to charge my laptops while they sit on a non-burning hard surface, like a marble floor or a glass shelf. You see the difference? The writer is wailing a sob story, and almost everyone here is pointing out that if you want to run a business, you should know a thing or two first. She has claimed thousands of dollars of lost work. Well, I can imagine that she would be one of those employees who costs a lot for a company to maintain, always asking IT why the coffee holder on her desktop computer isn't more stable. I've been there. I've seen it. This writer has only one point to make, and that is that computers (and electrical equipment in general) are still not id10t proof.

As for my granny, she should have known better. She lived in a house with an electrical engineering husband (who made the first portable walkman, if you count having to carry around the old 12 volt batteries as portable), and engineer/CS sons. Yet she just copied what she saw someone else do, without knowing anything about electricity, ignoring what they had told her. Now, she's still my granny, and I love her, but she did something very silly, and is still here today because of dumb luck.

Now the writer got paid for this article, which is just an opinionated comment, and I'm not getting paid for this opinionated comment. As one commentator said earlier, the Reg should start a new section called 'rants and raves', because that's what it's turning into. The Sun of Technology. Opinion, not Fact. Silly Innuendos.

I'm off to arstechnica. I only read the reg now for the BOFH.


silly silly silly

1. with writing like that, don't expect respect from men (offering sexual favours, etc.)

2. you run your business like a hobby, not a business.

3. air vents... ever heard of them? who could be so silly as to leave a laptop charging on a carpet. the reps should have told you that this is probably your problem. Ever worked in an office? Notice that there's no carpets or felt on the desktop?

4. you're like my granny. one time she had to change the light bulb in the kitchen. she stopped doing the washing up, climbed on a wooden stool and replaced the light bulb with her wet rubber gloves dripping water. dumb luck can't always be depended on.

5. people who have problems make more noise than those who don't have problems, especially in this culture.

6. I've run a couple of businesses from Macs. And I know others who have too. I've had no problems with my Macs, and just a few with my PCs. That's just life. The whole tone of your article is a whiney bitch, and the title is a non sequitur.

7. The Register has finally become a Troll.

Behind the Apple vs Universal breakup


what about my car

shouldn't they get a fee for every car sold that comes with a music player? and from every musical instrument sold?

how absurd can they get, and why did MS buy into that deal???

iPhone hack bypasses AT&T


scratching and value

I was concerned about scratching, but I was impressed by the knife test.


Apple says the screen is made of "optical-quality glass", and doesn't seem to scratch easily (unless you're carrying diamonds in your pocket). Not that I can find out what "optical-quality" means, but it could be an almost pure quartz. Being the perfectionist that he is, I'm surprised that SJ hadn't demanded scratch-resistance for the ipods.

Every portable piece of electronic equipment I have that has a screen has a scratch, and I'm not gung-ho about these things. I just wonder why people only complain about scratching when it comes to Apple products.

Apple's Safari 3: a crashing experience for non-US users


Apple Apologist (Not)

Dear anonymous,

I'm using Safari on Windows. Why am I a Mac snob? Because it hasn't crashed or not displayed content for me?

"If you don't understand the negative comments..."

I made a point of saying I did understand them, but wanted to say that it's those who are having problems that'll be the loudest, and that's fine. Submit a bug (if you can). Windows is so user-tweakable and runs on such a range of hardware that I don't automatically assume that an application is trash because it doesn't work when I install it on my PC. I see if someone's found a conflict. And I'm sure this is what's happened with people for whom Safari is not working, and that's why it's a beta. I have issues with how a lot of apps behave, on all the platforms (and devices) that I use. And I assume that my bug feedback will help the developers iron out bugs that they haven't come across. What I don't understand is the big scene everyone makes (Windows or Mac) when they have a problem. It's just opportunistic bashing, which is evidenced by the fact that they just want to publicly bash Apple or MS, and don't care if they spell like English is their fifth language. I'm willing to debate and learn, but a lot of Reg comments are naff crass that don't contribute anything to the article.

As for "the majority of the world's computer users wants an affordable machine that gets the job done"... I have to say that I believe that user interfaces have a long way to go, Windows, OS X, Unix flavours... I believe that it'll be quite a while before I would confidently give a machine to my mother and not expect support calls.

My point was only that there's a lot of OS Rage going on, and that I'm sure for a lot of people Safari is working fine (like me).


Does anyone else find this bizarre

David: The product is free, but Google and Yahoo pay Mozilla and Apple for every search that they receive through Firefox/Safari.

Mozilla got $50m in revenue from Google last year...

So, anyone interested in making a browser?



re:"I thought the whole point of a 'beta' was that you could provide feedback... but I can't find any information on the Apple website about doing so. It's possible that the Safari application has links to do so"

Don't you see a Bug button beside the address bar?

re:"It's own skinning rather than using the skin currently used in Windows."

er, that's rich. We are talking about Windows?

re:"I never used Safari when I had a Mac, Mozilla/Firefox being much better".

Sorry, but how would you know if you never used it? Bit of an oxymoron.

Anyway, I've been using it all day. Not a problem. Have imported all my Firefox bookmarks. No problems for me. Of course there are bugs, and there are problems for some users, but it's those for whom it doesn't work that will complain the loudest, especially the Apple haters. I don't understand the Apple Rage (or the MS Rage).

And for you developers out there who haven't tried Safari before, it behaves like Firefox 99.99% of the time. IE is still the bitch.

All these negative comments. Most of them seem to be from people who can't interact properly with their keyboard. So honestly, who cares what you say if you're not going to double-check what you've written?

Cash machines get a voice



"Computer says 'No'".

Japanese actress caught in sheep 'poodle' scam



About 10 years ago I went to Stonehenge. At the souvenir shop we were overwhelmed by the number of sheep-themed items for sale. We asked the assistant, who told us that the Japanese bought the sheep stuff, as they don't have sheep in Japan.

Serbian vampire hunters prevent Milosevic come-back


Did someone say "Heart"?

Yes, all very well and good. But did this man actually have a heart?

Why are some people more attractive to mosquitos?


No easy solution

Oh how I wish that dairy products was the answer. It's not.

I was vegan for years, and no matter where I lived in Europe (Copenhagen, Hertfordshire, Innsbruck, Malta) and no matter where I holidayed, I was always bitten more than anyone else I know.

My personal theory is that it is all about the levels of CO2 in your blood. It is a fact that blondes get more bites. They also have a higher %age of CO2 in their blood. Also, 'holy men' have said that they are more attractive to mosquitoes, and they have also a higher level of CO2 in their blood. There is research on the net about this.

The other point is that most observations are made by those who react allergically to the bites, whereas when you get used to it, you don't get a reaction. Locals in Malta say that they don't get bitten, but the truth is that they just don't show a reaction. After two years in Malta mosquito bites only produce a slight itching on me now...


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