* Posts by Anonymous IV

650 posts • joined 13 Apr 2011

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Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

Anonymous IV
Alert

Re: Windows Insider: Hustle as a Service

> The head of the Windows Insider programme likens Windows 10 to 'Hustle as a Service'.

Perhaps he is getting confused with Hustler?

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

Anonymous IV
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Pine-ing for the fjords...

Iceland is selling "pigs in blankets"-flavoured crisps - and also "Christmas tree" flavour!

How do they taste? Not too unpleasant, and unutterably disgusting, in that order.

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Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Anonymous IV
WTF?

"If you've had to pick up the phone to one of Redmond's support team, let us know"

Are you seriously suggesting that an unscheduled phone call from someone alleging to be from Microsoft's support team is not a scammer?

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California cracks down on Internet of Crap passwords with new law to stop the botnets

Anonymous IV
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Re: Where's the master list of passwords kept ?

Presumably all these passwords have to be submitted to some Californian Registry Body, so that they can be assessed for strength.

(And, of course, for no other reason...)

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100,000 home routers recruited to spread Brazilian hacking scam

Anonymous IV

* Yes, we know 3Com is a name long gone from the shelves;

Gone but not forgotten

Surely "gone, but not forgiven"?

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Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

Anonymous IV
Unhappy

Re: Machine names

"Several years ago" we installed PDP11/M micros in our offices in various towns in England. These were given three-letter names, usually the first three letters of the town name, like BRI for Brighton.

A new office was opened in Bristol, but the machine name was already taken.

The obvious three-letter name (containing two Ts) was vetoed by Management (boo, hiss), so it had to be called BST.

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Linux kernel's Torvalds: 'I am truly sorry' for my 'unprofessional' rants, I need a break to get help

Anonymous IV

Comparison

Linus's [former] behaviour would never have been tolerated at Microsoft, would it?!

Oh, wait...

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Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Anonymous IV
Facepalm

Compulsory pun

"It was a phase worse than death..."

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This HTC U12+ review page is left intentionally blank

Anonymous IV
Alert

The Tony Benn analogy

There is a story that Tony Benn once sent out advance copies of a speech to the news agencies, leading to several newspapers commenting on it. However, he gave a completely different speech to the audience! This enabled the arch prankster to rant on about the lying and corrupt press making out that he had said things which he didn't say. Only those virtuous reporters who had actually bothered to attend could have reported what he had really said!

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Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Anonymous IV
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Re: Staff don’t care about access to the computers

At night as the staff left the building site one builder would bring out a wheelbarrow load of spoil. This went on every night for weeks...

It's a good enough story but doesn't hold water - after "every night for weeks" how many wheelbarrows would actually remain left on site? A negative number, I suspect...

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BT announces Gavin Patterson to become ex-CEO

Anonymous IV
Thumb Up

All praise to The Independent

Headline from their story on 10th May:

"You're the BT boss: how do you fix the company? Fire yourself or fire 13,000 colleagues?"

It took a month, but it happened! The article is well worth a read, even now.

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Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Anonymous IV

Re: Reminds me of French sales

You may well be remembering the story of a jobbing actor who was staying at a seaside boarding house, and (with the knowledge of the landlady) was enjoying the charms of her daughter on a nightly basis.

His bill at the end of the week included a substantial charge for "extra vegetables"...

(Can anyone identify this story more precisely, please?)

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The future of radio may well be digital, but it won't survive on DAB

Anonymous IV
Unhappy

Re: Radio 4

Kirsty Young would pale into insignificance if Charlotte Green still worked for BBC Radio News...

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Typical cynical Brits: Broadband speeds up, satisfaction goes down

Anonymous IV
FAIL

Re: I actually like Virgin media...

Helpline number ... It's really easy to remember, just dial 150 or 151 from your Virgin landline

What is this 'landline' entity of which you speak? Ever-so-many people do not have such.

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NASA dusts off FORTRAN manual, revives 20-year-old data on Ganymede

Anonymous IV

Fan-folded paper tape was used to set up the DEC PDP-8L mini, once you had entered a number of boot words with the switches. It was fascinating watching the paper tape folds moving from one hopper to the other with flic-flac noises!

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‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Anonymous IV

Somewhere in that list should come:

Tea and medals.

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My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Anonymous IV

Re: Deus ex mac

That story reminds me of someone being thwarted in his endeavour to get hold of his "highly-urgent" printing.

"What's all this rubbish coming off on the printer?" he irately inquired.

"Must be one of your memos, Dave!" we replied, wickedly...

[Yes, Dave was his real name!]

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Spring is all about new beginnings, but it could already be lights out for Windows' Fluent Design

Anonymous IV

Rise and fall

I presume that most MBA courses teach about the rise of companies and the reasons they rose, and the fall of companies, and the reasons they fell - some even ceasing to exist, others staggering on. A number spring to mind: General Motors, Ford, Blockbuster Video, Sun Microsystems, Wang Laboratories, Eastman Kodak, Yahoo, IBM - and most recently, Toys 'R' Us. I wonder what is currently being taught about Microsoft and Apple?

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Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

Anonymous IV

Re: 300km?

> They drive 186.411 miles. Most of it over potholes.

That would have been in 'creator mode' - the word you wanted was "through".

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What a mesh: BT Whole Home Wi-Fi users moan over update

Anonymous IV
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Re: BT firmware update scheduling

> Home Hub 5 owners are still waiting for the promised "Early 2017" update to enable IPv6...

And of course these owners are convinced that the IPv6 support will work perfectly the instant it is available!

Thank heaven that the BT HomeHub IPv4 support is so stable and complete, and could be used as a fall-back...

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Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

Anonymous IV
Happy

@zaax

> The sales assistant could not work out why I didn't need an operating system

You should have told him (since undoubedly male) that you were just going to use the firmware, and so didn't need an operating system...

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Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

@Stephen Wilkinson

> Sadly I'm no longer a Member of the British Computer Society, I'm now a Member of the BCS, The Chartered Institute for IT :(

And not a member of the considerably more prestigious Worshipful Company of Information Technologists? Perhaps you don't qualify for their membership, which "is open to IT leaders and practitioners, entrepreneurs, technologists in diverse fields, academics and those working in other areas with a strong IT or digital or technology connection such as management, finance, accountancy, law, health, HR, marketing and other disciplines!

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123 Reg suffers deja vu: Websites restored from August 2017 backups amid storage meltdown

Anonymous IV
FAIL

August 2017 backups? Luxury...

The Windows Secrets forums have just been restored, after at least a fortnight of downtime, to 1st June 2017. Yes, over nine months' ago. It would have been possible to have had a baby in that time...

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Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

Re: I've never quite understood

> @disgustedoftunbridgewells As any fule know, "colour" rhymes with "yellow".

However Nigel Molesworth wrote, "As any fule kno".

As any fule kno...

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Vatican sets up dedicated exorcism training course

Anonymous IV
Joke

A load of [Papal] Boolean

<insert witty reference to XORcism here>

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1

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Anonymous IV

>

"in Notepad (or whatever the equivalent was in 1992)"

Probably edlin...

...which I don't miss -->

For a very long time I thought that LinkedIn was a more sophisticated version of Edlin...

(Later I realised that it actually was!)

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Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

Anonymous IV

Re: He simply takes the kettle, opens the lid, shows them the lead inside the kettle,

The problem would not have occurred if the manufacturer had put a large sticky label on the kettle lid saying LEAD IS INSIDE KETTLE.

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FYI: Processor bugs are everywhere – just ask Intel and AMD

Anonymous IV

I'm sure you will be able to insist on a replacement CPU if you can prove that you were guaranteed a certain level of performance from your current one.

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Microsoft whips out tool so you can measure Windows 10's data-slurping creepiness

Anonymous IV
Facepalm

Re: No brainer

"No brainer" is not only the title but a description of the previous comment's content.

People want a less-intrusive version of Windows, not some random alternative.

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'There was no monetary incentive for this' = not what you want to hear about your tattoo

Anonymous IV
Thumb Up

Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

> the woman in front of me had the two words "seriously moody" tattooed on the back of her neck

In blue ink, I hope?

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Talk about a positive mental pl-attitude: WD Ultrastars shed disks without hit to capacity

Anonymous IV
Happy

SSD manufacturers' olde saying

"Plattery will get you nowhere..."

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Drone crashes after operator failed to spot extra building site crane

Anonymous IV

> 3DR's demise is an interesting lesson in self aggrandisement (a disgruntled DJI exec helped set 3DR up), a poor business model and inferior tech

The probable problem is that he couldn't take it with him...

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Cortana. Whatever happened to world domination?

Anonymous IV
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Standard action - turn Cortana off...

... on any new Windows 10 box, remove all the tiles, run ShutUp10, then...

Follow by getting rid of all the non-Microsoft cr*pware which the manufacturer has 'helpfully' installed for the user.

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Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

Anonymous IV
FAIL

Re: July and August must Go!

> But lets not let facts get in the way of good story telling.

And let's not bother about spelling, punctuation, capitalisation, and other such niceties which could make it easier to read comments, especially when they have been written in green ink...

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Anonymous IV

Re: JSON?

> I once came across a Norbert on a course

His Mediterranean friend would have been called Sorbet...

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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

Anonymous IV

Re: What no-one has mentioned yet... - DRUMS

> When I visited the machine room in Claremont Tower at Newcastle University in 1978 or '79, they had a drum acting as the swap space on the IBM System/360 Model 65.

I did my MSc Computing course using this machine in 1972/3 - it was actually a 360/67 (a 65 with the IBM 2301 drum) running the Michigan Terminal System (MTS), a quite decent time sharing system of the time, and only superseded later by VM. [I assume that it lasted until 1978/9?!]

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Anonymous IV

Re: Those were the days, when a computer was really engineering

> IBM 3270 drives, I assume relatively similar from the description with all the adjustments made by turning screws 25% or a turn clockwise or similar...

The IBM 3270 was a CRT terminal. You may be thinking of a 3370? Take your pick from the drives featured in the Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_IBM_magnetic_disk_drives

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Lock them up and throw away the (don)key

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

Re: Speciesist profiling and discrimination of the worst kind.

>...if some cows did it they would have been given desert as well!

Gobi, no doubt...

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When it comes to ML, reports of JavaScript's death are exaggerated

Anonymous IV
Unhappy

> ⠀rectliinear_chicken_count = 0

What did Python say on encountering this misspelled variable name?

No artificial intelligence in there!

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Royal Bank of Scotland website goes TITSUP*

Anonymous IV
FAIL

Re: RBS?

> You see the morons at the top see that "Oh the company is losing money, eh? Better scale back operations. Start making people redundant and offshore all the IT."

You are Fred Goodwin and I claim my £5...

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OVH data centres go TITSUP: Power supply blunders blamed

Anonymous IV

Re: "Small Earthquake In Peru - Not Many Injured" *

The BBC headline you quote http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/73785.stm is a slight and much later rework of the supposed Times headline written by Claud Cockburn (1904-1981) "Small earthquake in Chile, not many dead" thereby winning their "dullest headline" competition.

He is also known for the truism: "Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."

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Guy Glitchy: Villagers torch Openreach effigy

Anonymous IV

Re: That's the price you pay...

Search me, guv! Dunno who those 'whimps' are either, the ones with the intrusive 'h'...

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OK, we admit it. Under the hood, the iPhone X is a feat of engineering

Anonymous IV

"it comes with a beautiful notch"

> The X's 1125x2436 panel is a significant improvement then. And it comes with a beautiful notch.

I'm sure that final sentence actually means something.

But what?

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Fresh bit o' Linux to spruce up that ancient Windows Vista box? Why not, we say...

Anonymous IV

Re: Windows7 / 10 look+feel

Have you looked at Zorin for a Windows 7 simulacrum*?

BTW why on earth would you want your Linux to look like Windows 10...?

* one is in Boris Johnson mode!

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Survey: Tech workers are terrified they will be sacked for being too old

Anonymous IV
WTF?

Re: Bah!

> "I should read the manuals and keep the wholly."

OK, not even Google knows what "keep the wholly" means.

Can anyone enlighten me, please?

I presume it has nothing to do with "keeping holy the Sabbath Day"...

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Anonymous IV
Thumb Up

Re: Us old fogeys

If you can afford it, do volunteer work IT for a local charity or three. They are crying out for people who have learnt over decades of experience that backup is a pretty neat idea (just one example)...

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Anonymous IV
Happy

Re: Automation since the 50s

> Resource (human/capital) management, is being automated now.

The progression is Personnel -> Human Resources -> Livestock Control...

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Didn't install a safety-critical driverless car patch? Bye, insurance!

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

Re: It really

> > "How exactly are we going to produce the gigawatts of electricity needed to power all these cars?"

> You make charging at night when the grid has spare capacity significantly cheaper.

Correction: you make charging during the day, to use up some of that surplus solar-generated electricity.

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