* Posts by Anonymous IV

667 posts • joined 13 Apr 2011

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Freelance devs: Oh, you wanted the app to be secure? The job spec didn't mention that

Anonymous IV
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Compulsory ending to all research papers

"They suggested further study might be warranted".

Put down the cat, coffee, beer pint, martini, whatever you're holding, and make sure you've updated Chrome (unless you enjoy being hacked)

Anonymous IV
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Chrome updated itself automatically

If your PCs/laptops were powered on any time over the last three days (from 5 March onwards) it's highly likely that Chrome has already updated itself.

If you need to check a bunch of them, then use

dir "\\<pcname>\C$\Program Files\Google\Chrome\Application" /ad

on each PC, and look for the folder named 72.0.3626.121

Or perform the equivalent in PowerShell!

UK Ministry of Justice: Surprise! We tested out biometric tech in prisons and 'visitors' with drugs up their bums ran away

Anonymous IV
Happy

Re: "campaign group Big Brother Watch"

It's another one of those opaquely-funded groups which try to change government policy at 55 Tufton Street.

That seems a very limited ambition. Do they intend to extend the scope of government policy changing to the rest of Tufton Street? The whole of the London Borough of Westminster? London itself? Further? I think we should be told...

ReactOS 0.4.11 makes great strides towards running Windows apps without the Windows

Anonymous IV

I wonder how long will it be...

... before we can say: "20nn is the Year of ReactOS on the Desktop"?

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?

Anonymous IV
Joke

Re: Hardware option

> EMO mushroom buttons

You had EMOs all that time ago? I thought they were called Goths...

From Red Planet to deep into the red: Suicidal extrovert magnet Mars One finally implodes

Anonymous IV
Happy

Re: Wish I'd Thought Of That

"plausible enough for the gullible"

Gullible's Travels, perhaps?

LibreOffice 6.2 is here: Running up a Tab at the NotebookBar? You can turn it all off if you want

Anonymous IV

Re: Font problems

Look up "Microsoft Truetype core fonts for the Web" (or variants thereof), and download them.

This will give you Andalé Mono, Arial, Arial Black, Comic Sans, Courier New, Georgia, Impact, Times New Roman, Trebuchet, Verdana and Webdings.

Bask in Microsoft's 2002 fontal generosity!

[You knew you wanted Comic Sans...]

Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary

Anonymous IV
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"hostage-grade cable ties"

Worthy of a computing Oscar!

NHS England digital boss in hot water over 'puff piece' written about her future employer

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

Re: There is no such verb as "to pen"

Indeed there is, as Alister says.

It is unlikely that the centuries-old habit of forming verbs from nouns will cease in the foreseeable future.

Salesforce has named a chief ethics officer and yes, the job description is appropriately woolly

Anonymous IV

Have Salesforce management been watching W1A?

... especially the aptly-titled BBC Head of Values...

Lenovo superdishes not-so-superdosh for Superfish superloss: $40 waiting for you if you bought adware laptop

Anonymous IV

"Did you buy a Lenovo laptop with Superfish software on it?"

"Then you may be eligible for a compensation payout. Contact one of our trained experts at Former-PPI-Scammers today!"

How long before we see these?

Bright spark dev irons out light interference

Anonymous IV

Re: Spark plugs on old Vauxhalls

> Amateur radio 160 metre transmitters were low powered

Is Top Band still used?

DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives

Anonymous IV
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Re: Why? Just why?

> Are you literally claiming no one in the military has ever played a prank on a cow-orker?

Orking a cow sounds like an offence under the Welfare of Animals Act 2006.

Military persons should be more careful...

Anonymous IV

Re: But can I get F1 on my BT account

> I remember as a puny undergrad having to use the hideous terminals Programming Simula/67 and Fortran

They were perfectly decent terminals - for the time. I'm surprised that you didn't program in Algol W and 360 Assembler rather than Fortran and Simula. But I suppose things were made easy for the undergrads of that time... <evil grin!>

Anonymous IV

Re: My boss was demonstrating the instrusion sensors on our building

Somehow I feel that, if a burglar alarm was sounding for more than about half-an-hour to the detriment of the even flow of work, an amount of percussive maintenance would have been applied to the bell(s)...

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Anonymous IV
Happy

How about Claude Shannon?

That is, if mathematics can be considered as a science...

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

Anonymous IV
Facepalm

Today's Government Crisis

... used to be discussed in BRA, Briefing Room A.

But this was a word far too naughty for our leaders, who changed it, prefixing it by Cabinet Office:- hence 'COBRA'.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

Anonymous IV
Alert

Re: Windows Insider: Hustle as a Service

> The head of the Windows Insider programme likens Windows 10 to 'Hustle as a Service'.

Perhaps he is getting confused with Hustler?

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

Anonymous IV
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Pine-ing for the fjords...

Iceland is selling "pigs in blankets"-flavoured crisps - and also "Christmas tree" flavour!

How do they taste? Not too unpleasant, and unutterably disgusting, in that order.

Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Anonymous IV
WTF?

"If you've had to pick up the phone to one of Redmond's support team, let us know"

Are you seriously suggesting that an unscheduled phone call from someone alleging to be from Microsoft's support team is not a scammer?

California cracks down on Internet of Crap passwords with new law to stop the botnets

Anonymous IV
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Re: Where's the master list of passwords kept ?

Presumably all these passwords have to be submitted to some Californian Registry Body, so that they can be assessed for strength.

(And, of course, for no other reason...)

100,000 home routers recruited to spread Brazilian hacking scam

Anonymous IV

* Yes, we know 3Com is a name long gone from the shelves;

Gone but not forgotten

Surely "gone, but not forgiven"?

Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

Anonymous IV
Unhappy

Re: Machine names

"Several years ago" we installed PDP11/M micros in our offices in various towns in England. These were given three-letter names, usually the first three letters of the town name, like BRI for Brighton.

A new office was opened in Bristol, but the machine name was already taken.

The obvious three-letter name (containing two Ts) was vetoed by Management (boo, hiss), so it had to be called BST.

Linux kernel's Torvalds: 'I am truly sorry' for my 'unprofessional' rants, I need a break to get help

Anonymous IV

Comparison

Linus's [former] behaviour would never have been tolerated at Microsoft, would it?!

Oh, wait...

Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Anonymous IV
Facepalm

Compulsory pun

"It was a phase worse than death..."

This HTC U12+ review page is left intentionally blank

Anonymous IV
Alert

The Tony Benn analogy

There is a story that Tony Benn once sent out advance copies of a speech to the news agencies, leading to several newspapers commenting on it. However, he gave a completely different speech to the audience! This enabled the arch prankster to rant on about the lying and corrupt press making out that he had said things which he didn't say. Only those virtuous reporters who had actually bothered to attend could have reported what he had really said!

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Anonymous IV
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Re: Staff don’t care about access to the computers

At night as the staff left the building site one builder would bring out a wheelbarrow load of spoil. This went on every night for weeks...

It's a good enough story but doesn't hold water - after "every night for weeks" how many wheelbarrows would actually remain left on site? A negative number, I suspect...

BT announces Gavin Patterson to become ex-CEO

Anonymous IV
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All praise to The Independent

Headline from their story on 10th May:

"You're the BT boss: how do you fix the company? Fire yourself or fire 13,000 colleagues?"

It took a month, but it happened! The article is well worth a read, even now.

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Anonymous IV

Re: Reminds me of French sales

You may well be remembering the story of a jobbing actor who was staying at a seaside boarding house, and (with the knowledge of the landlady) was enjoying the charms of her daughter on a nightly basis.

His bill at the end of the week included a substantial charge for "extra vegetables"...

(Can anyone identify this story more precisely, please?)

The future of radio may well be digital, but it won't survive on DAB

Anonymous IV
Unhappy

Re: Radio 4

Kirsty Young would pale into insignificance if Charlotte Green still worked for BBC Radio News...

Typical cynical Brits: Broadband speeds up, satisfaction goes down

Anonymous IV
FAIL

Re: I actually like Virgin media...

Helpline number ... It's really easy to remember, just dial 150 or 151 from your Virgin landline

What is this 'landline' entity of which you speak? Ever-so-many people do not have such.

NASA dusts off FORTRAN manual, revives 20-year-old data on Ganymede

Anonymous IV

Fan-folded paper tape was used to set up the DEC PDP-8L mini, once you had entered a number of boot words with the switches. It was fascinating watching the paper tape folds moving from one hopper to the other with flic-flac noises!

‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Anonymous IV

Somewhere in that list should come:

Tea and medals.

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Anonymous IV

Re: Deus ex mac

That story reminds me of someone being thwarted in his endeavour to get hold of his "highly-urgent" printing.

"What's all this rubbish coming off on the printer?" he irately inquired.

"Must be one of your memos, Dave!" we replied, wickedly...

[Yes, Dave was his real name!]

Spring is all about new beginnings, but it could already be lights out for Windows' Fluent Design

Anonymous IV

Rise and fall

I presume that most MBA courses teach about the rise of companies and the reasons they rose, and the fall of companies, and the reasons they fell - some even ceasing to exist, others staggering on. A number spring to mind: General Motors, Ford, Blockbuster Video, Sun Microsystems, Wang Laboratories, Eastman Kodak, Yahoo, IBM - and most recently, Toys 'R' Us. I wonder what is currently being taught about Microsoft and Apple?

Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

Anonymous IV

Re: 300km?

> They drive 186.411 miles. Most of it over potholes.

That would have been in 'creator mode' - the word you wanted was "through".

What a mesh: BT Whole Home Wi-Fi users moan over update

Anonymous IV
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Re: BT firmware update scheduling

> Home Hub 5 owners are still waiting for the promised "Early 2017" update to enable IPv6...

And of course these owners are convinced that the IPv6 support will work perfectly the instant it is available!

Thank heaven that the BT HomeHub IPv4 support is so stable and complete, and could be used as a fall-back...

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

Anonymous IV
Happy

@zaax

> The sales assistant could not work out why I didn't need an operating system

You should have told him (since undoubedly male) that you were just going to use the firmware, and so didn't need an operating system...

Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

@Stephen Wilkinson

> Sadly I'm no longer a Member of the British Computer Society, I'm now a Member of the BCS, The Chartered Institute for IT :(

And not a member of the considerably more prestigious Worshipful Company of Information Technologists? Perhaps you don't qualify for their membership, which "is open to IT leaders and practitioners, entrepreneurs, technologists in diverse fields, academics and those working in other areas with a strong IT or digital or technology connection such as management, finance, accountancy, law, health, HR, marketing and other disciplines!

123 Reg suffers deja vu: Websites restored from August 2017 backups amid storage meltdown

Anonymous IV
FAIL

August 2017 backups? Luxury...

The Windows Secrets forums have just been restored, after at least a fortnight of downtime, to 1st June 2017. Yes, over nine months' ago. It would have been possible to have had a baby in that time...

Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian

Anonymous IV
Headmaster

Re: I've never quite understood

> @disgustedoftunbridgewells As any fule know, "colour" rhymes with "yellow".

However Nigel Molesworth wrote, "As any fule kno".

As any fule kno...

Vatican sets up dedicated exorcism training course

Anonymous IV
Joke

A load of [Papal] Boolean

<insert witty reference to XORcism here>

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Anonymous IV

>

"in Notepad (or whatever the equivalent was in 1992)"

Probably edlin...

...which I don't miss -->

For a very long time I thought that LinkedIn was a more sophisticated version of Edlin...

(Later I realised that it actually was!)

Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

Anonymous IV

Re: He simply takes the kettle, opens the lid, shows them the lead inside the kettle,

The problem would not have occurred if the manufacturer had put a large sticky label on the kettle lid saying LEAD IS INSIDE KETTLE.

FYI: Processor bugs are everywhere – just ask Intel and AMD

Anonymous IV

I'm sure you will be able to insist on a replacement CPU if you can prove that you were guaranteed a certain level of performance from your current one.

Microsoft whips out tool so you can measure Windows 10's data-slurping creepiness

Anonymous IV
Facepalm

Re: No brainer

"No brainer" is not only the title but a description of the previous comment's content.

People want a less-intrusive version of Windows, not some random alternative.

'There was no monetary incentive for this' = not what you want to hear about your tattoo

Anonymous IV
Thumb Up

Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

> the woman in front of me had the two words "seriously moody" tattooed on the back of her neck

In blue ink, I hope?

Talk about a positive mental pl-attitude: WD Ultrastars shed disks without hit to capacity

Anonymous IV
Happy

SSD manufacturers' olde saying

"Plattery will get you nowhere..."

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