* Posts by b0llchit

110 posts • joined 29 Mar 2011

Page:

Spanish govt slammed over bizarre Catalan .cat internet registry cop raid

b0llchit
Facepalm

Information is a dangerous good

Flow of information is the key to control.

I guess that Spain needs to get a hold on facebook, twitter, snapchat, <whatever communication> domains too. Hell, while they are at it, they should shut down the internet and power too. Forbid books, pen and paper. Forbid verbal and non-verbal communication in the process too.

The lesson from history is that any action creates a reaction. And, unlike mother nature, the reaction is often much stronger than the action. Spain has, apparently, not yet learned that lesson well enough.

27
0

Trump as US president (in Sharknado 3)? Oh Hell No!

b0llchit
Coat

Sharknado IRL 1

The new Sharknado - In Real Life - is the Ultimate Real Thing(TM).

Featuring Donald Trump as President - May the force be with you

Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Vice President - He's back

Clearing the Potomak river, once and for all - all the way to Europe and across the World.

5
0

Hackers can turn web-connected car washes into horrible death traps

b0llchit
Thumb Up

Practical application

I'm sure the BOFH was already aware of this feature and sent many tech-pushers on their merry cleansed demise.

12
0

Slapping crap bosses just got cheaper: Blighty's Supreme Court nixes tribunal fees

b0llchit

Judicial independence

The Judicial system works as long as a) it is independent and b) the government adheres to the outcome of a judicial process.

We see strong tendencies that both a and b are being undermined. Not only in the UK, but Hungary and Poland are some strong examples. You may draw your own conclusions where it is heading...

21
0

FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

b0llchit
Pint

Re: Fuke news indeed

It said "beep"... Once, just before it died.

4
0

Shock: NASA denies secret child sex slave cannibal colony on Mars

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

I'd like to see for myself

Where do I sign up for a trip? Please?

Space travel seems like a nice adventure. Having an orgy at the destination only makes it more juicy and attractive.

Oh, and never again ask to deny a good conspiracy theory. Feeding the trolls is best left to the little green men on Mars. And, yes, they are green. It is the advantageous low-contrast combination since all good conspiracy believers are red-green colorblind too. That is also why they forget to eat their greens and turn red all the time when you ask them a question.

17
1

Uncle Sam █████████ cloud so much, AWS █████████ it another kinda-secret data center

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

Too much information

I think you forgot to redact about 50% of the article. You are leaking information. You will be visited soon. Please sit down and take it easy, we'll be there soon to rectify the situation.

5
0

Edinburgh Uni email snafu tells students they won't be graduating

b0llchit
Coat

Security issue

Dear El Reg,

I salute you for optimistically putting this story in the "Security" category. I presume you are telling us that letting a flock of graduates flow into the current market is a security hazard. I totally agree. Better to have them rethink their strategies and get some more ECTS points to cover all the security bases.

(yes, I'm still in the illusion that students can learn security or think independently, and I refuse to accept reality).

2
0

Comcast accused of siccing lawyers on net neutrality foe

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

A misunderstanding, please

You are all victims of a simple misunderstanding about the internet and its true intent and function. The internet is primarily a medium for distraction and corporate profit. There is, under no circumstance, any place for a free communication channel. That kind of freedom would amount to anarchy and lack of profitability. Comcast and its siblings have heavily invested in profit optimization and we are not inclined to give up our position. Political backing ensures that the true purpose of the internet and the status quo is assured.

Now, go watch a cat-video and shut up.

/S (capital S starting that arcasm word)

5
1

Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

b0llchit
Coat

Bottom or top

"Rest assured, The Register will do its very best to get to the bottom of this story."

Hm, I thought you, dear El Reg, would be on top of things...

30
0

For now, GNU GPL is an enforceable contract, says US federal judge

b0llchit

Re: Double edge

The point of "not having lost" anything is a matter of perspective. One can also argue that the reputation of the original creator has been tarnished by the third party, which amounts to the revenue of the offending party (because the creator /could/ have made that amount if he/she would have taken the offender's path).

However, as you point out somewhat indirectly, there is no precedent of what "loss" is suffered when we talk about free and open software, or, for that matter, any copyleft style license. This is new territory for the legal profession and has yet to be decided by the courts (at least, in many if not all jurisdictions). Alternatively, the executive branch must update the laws accordingly, but that is a different discussion.

I am merely pointing out that there are reasonable arguments for pleading damages, even if the distribution is free. It will be for the courts to decide what is reasonable in this context.

1
1
b0llchit

Re: Double edge

One can argue that the "damage" is the (proportional share of) revenue the infringing party has made/received from distributing without a license. This would be a reasonable argument. Either you distribute freely, according to the license, or you forfeit the income you illegally made.

This argument would be reasonable with or without dual licensing. If the software is distributed under dual license, then the damage amounts to the commercial license. Otherwise, the moneys made from the software are gathered illegally and must be forfeit (whether it goes to the original copyright holder or should be donated is beyond the point).

6
1
b0llchit
Thumb Up

Double edge

If you do not like the GPL or agree to its terms, and still use the software covered under it, then you are breaking copyright because there is no other license agreement you can call upon. Once you agree to the terms, then you are contractually bound because you, well, agreed to the terms. The point taken here by the judge is that, once you download the software covered under the GPL, and distribute it, you implicitly agree to the terms of the GPL, thereby binding yourself contractually.

It is the genius of the GPL's formulation that allows this interpretation. If you do not like it, don't use the software. If you want it, you must abide by the rules. As simple as that. The GPL's philosophical debate(*) is a distraction to its pure genius to use a protective - as in nobody may touch me - law to achieve an - anybody may use me - result (hence copy-right becomes copy-left).

(*) Not that the philosophical debate is unimportant, just not relevant for this particular use of the software.

6
3

Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

b0llchit
Mushroom

Read between the letters

It spells "planned obsolescence" if you read carefully.

You should be updating your gadget every so often "to get the best of the new world", which is business-speak for "you owe us more money, you know it, we know it, and we'll get it when we want it". Resistance is futile. Milking is our motto, cattle, know your place.

26
0

That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

b0llchit
Facepalm

Miauwrump

Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it. Calling Barbra Streisand...

Then again, bad publicity is better than no publicity. Oh well, in Pres. Washington's case, he was caricatured as "an ass coming to Washington". I guess we now have a pussy in office.

9
4

Oops! 185,000-plus Wi-Fi cameras on the web with insecure admin panels

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

A wet dream

All these computers with no or inadequate security is the surveillance community's(*) wet dream. We all should just bug ourselves and let the watchers watch our watches being watched. It is not about what should be done, but simply how to make a quick buck, regardless of the consequences, a "me too" society (doesn't that sound very familiar in other contexts?).

Maybe it is best if we turn off the internet...

(*) euphemism for "the bad guys"

8
0

Finally proof that Apple copies Samsung: iPhone 7 Plus halts, catches fire like a Galaxy Note 7

b0llchit
Facepalm

Firecopy

Did Samsung patent that particular feature? Or maybe it is a trade secret that got stolen. Looks to me like Samsung may be getting some of that sueball money back if they play their (self-igniting) cards just right...

5
0

Is your child a hacker? Liverpudlian parents get warning signs checklist

b0llchit
FAIL

Re: Being a criminal has little to do with the list as given.

Guilty as charged. Please, lock me up. I cannot live with myself anymore, being a full fledged terminology-list offender.

10
0

Bruce Schneier: The US government is coming for YOUR code, techies

b0llchit
Holmes

Re: Value!

Imaginary numbers are postfixed with an 'i' (or 'j' in electronics).

The problem in economics is that the real and imaginary parts became exchanged when value started to be measured using an intermediate currency instead of the goods it covers.

1
1

The Register's guide to protecting your data when visiting the US

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

Don't accept it, act on it

The advice is obviously well meant, but it misses the point. You can change the ways if you resist. I'm not talking active resistance, but simply doing it passively.

Stop travelling to a country that acts abusively. The US has shown to be actively hostile beyond any reasonable doubt. Do not accept that kind of behaviour and stop travelling to that country. Tell your employer and/or customer that you cannot in good conscience accept the abuse and are not willing to put yourself through the humiliation of entering a country that does not welcome you.

102
3

Social media flame wars to be illegal, says top Crown prosecutor

b0llchit
Mushroom

With intended offence at the target

So,...saying: "That fat fucktard he is should be molested by a flock of Berserkers of reasonable sexual attitude towards preventing him from procreating in any future event." in an online forum would be considered an actionable and criminal event?

Well, the establishment is always scared of losing its status. Better protect it while you still can.

4
0

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

b0llchit
Thumb Up

Any day

Bar: 1) non-optional 2) agree 3) cannot disagree

Friday: 1) agree 2) agree 3) agree

BOFH: 1) strongly agree 2) emulation assured 3) courses absorbed and implemented

17
0

Happy 50th birthday, optical fibres for telecoms

b0llchit
Facepalm

Infinite scientific paywall

50 years... and the article is still behind a paywall. That is what we all need, sigh.

1
0

Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

b0llchit
Pirate

Homo Mobilus Telephonensis

Homo Mobilus Telephonensis is aspiring to collect Darwin Awards.

Then they can, after the award ceremony, rebrand the use of pokemon go into "Pokemon Went".

4
0

Swedish old timer pulls airsoft gun on broadband salesman

b0llchit
Thumb Up

Need more of this

Darn, what a nice lady! I'd wish she'd shot the bastard trying to sell superfluous internet connectivity. Next time I'd give her a gun with infinite-1 barrels. Then we might get rid of all the salesmen in one go.

2
0

Hacker reveals $40 attack that steals police drones from 2km away

b0llchit
Mushroom

Nothing to hide - nothing to fear

Well, if the police have nothing to hide, then they should have nothing to fear. That is their motto, so open links is a Good Thing (TM).

I just have a feeling that the police disagree. But then again, so do I.

(a slight form of sarcasm may be present in this post)

3
0

EU ministers to demand more data access after Brussels attacks

b0llchit
Facepalm

Priorities...

When a bus went off the road a few days ago, in which lots of people died in that terrible accident, there was no single soul crying for adding more cameras and control to the bus, driver and occupants.

If we look at the regularly occurring accidents in transportation and the few media-saturated bombs, then we should get a hard look at our priorities.

It is a tragedy that so many people died, but do we really need to be sacrificing our society for the media-circus? Why is nobody yelling to add cameras to the bus-driver's arse? That may actually prevent more tragic accidents than a total surveillance police state, which will not catch one single determined attacker.

(sorry if this sounds like a rant, but I'm really getting tired of having to give up _my_ freedoms for no additional security)

34
2

Electrified bird bum bomb shuts down US nuclear power plant

b0llchit
Joke

TLAs to the rescue

The FAA must make new rules for nature's flying elements close to power lines and power stations. The DHS must ensure that the TSA will reduce the fluidic content to less than a wire's length before they may fly. The NSA must listen in and map the grouping of flying terrorists and map their path across the terrain. All those terrorist birds! They are probably trained and controlled by foreign powers, trying to disrupt our daily life.

3
0

Security? We haven't heard of it, says hacker magnet VTech

b0llchit
FAIL

Bart would say...

The computer made me do it.

Can we get a public chalkboard and have VTech write some lines on there? The number infinity looks like a nice number of lines they'd have to write. Oh, invite the other IoT companies too. We should not miss out on the intelligence of the chalkboard of collective fail.

3
0

'Here are 400,000 smut sites. Block them' says Pakistani telco regulator

b0llchit
Coat

Eliminate pron

It is easier to shut off the entire internet than to eliminate porn.

Who are they kidding? The internet grew up because of porn. All other stuff is trivial.

16
0

EU reforms could pave way for smells and noises to be trade-mark protected – expert

b0llchit
Devil

Eggs available, please pay now

My H2S trademark will be available for licensing real soon now. Any left-over eggs are to be deposited in monetary form to me.

Limited offer! Only $0.99 per sniff&wiff.

Unauthorised use of rotten eggs will be met with the full force of civil and criminal law.

0
0

France mulls tighter noose around crypto

b0llchit
Flame

Liberté, égalité, fraternité

Let us demolish the first, so we can get to the others more easily. There will not even pass 5 seconds before the new laws are used to suppress dissent, and égalité will be demolished. Once we have taken care of the first two, we do no longer need to think of the brotherhood of humanity, as anyone non-compliant will have to wear a mark or is deported.

40
1

Criminal Ruskie BOFHs help hackers steal $790 million in three years

b0llchit
Alert

Subsidiary in Bermuda

"To a certain extent, the structure reflects that of an ordinary, average-sized company engaged in software development,"

So, do they pay taxes? Or are they also versed in the Double Dutch Sandwich to evade any waste of hard earned dosh?

1
0

Mysterious brown spots and a different kind of mouse support

b0llchit
Coat

Job descrption

Is that why helldesk and local support is such a shitty job? I guess that flushing the toner may not be enough to get the stains out.

4
0

Google patents DEVIL TOY which will BRAINWASH KIDS

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

hammer and HAMMER

A hammer counts if it is spelled HAMMER and weighs in at 5 kg and upwards. Anything less may prevent the full effect of the hit being successful, which would be a real mishap.

You may also want to use a DUAL HAMMER. One that swings towards the toy and the other one symmetrically swinging at the buyer of said toy. No need to clean up the mess afterwards, The suction provided by the toy's innards should be enough to absorb any unwanted spills.

2
0

TRAGEDY STRIKES Vulture News Central but details remain scrambled

b0llchit
Thumb Up

Missing link

You have missed a link: http://reggister.co.uk

It says it cannot find the server. However, it was served and (slomo) replays are all the rage of old times.

0
0

Forget the climate: Fatties are a much bigger problem - study

b0llchit
Pint

Re: Skinny vs Fat

The terrorists will take care of the fats, the alcoholics will kill the terrorists in a road-accident, the alcoholics will drive into a ravine after scooping up some elderly crossing the road, the smokers will die out coughing, the remaining elderly demented have no clue what is going on anyway, and the sensible rest of us will sit by, watch tv and die from intolerable boredom.

What is left is a clean earth...

0
0
b0llchit
Childcatcher

Skinny vs Fat

Well, terrorists are a skinny subset of the population. Therefore, skinny people are much more likely to be terrorists than the fatty kind of people.

The only conclusion this allows is that both fat and skinny people cost us all a lot of money. We'd all be better off killing both parts of the population. It also would reduce the smokers to a mere minimum and certainly reduce the emissions of dangerous gasses.

Now, since war and unrest is a small subset of the costs, it would probably be correct to assume that a one-time expenditure for global correction would not be too bad. Especially seen in the context where the new order is unlikely to proceed with current statistical sets and will start a new lie^H^H^Hdataset.

0
0

Russia to SAP, Apple: Hand over source code to prove you're not spies

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

Hide and fear

This is an "if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear" approach.

Although I am a bit unsympathetic to proprietary software, and not wanting to defend apple or sap in particular, the real problem is that one is asked to prove a negative. That leads to guilty unless proven innocent. Or, in other words, a pretext to (seemingly) random enforcement of whatever the ruling class feels like. Bad times are looming.

5
1

NASA: ALIENS and NEW EARTHS will be ours inside 20 years

b0llchit
Holmes

"But there may be plenty of relatively harmless planets around."

Yes, indeed, one planet in particular is already classified as "Mostly Harmless".

24
0

ISPs 'blindsided' by UK.gov's 'emergency' data retention and investigation powers law

b0llchit
Coat

Re: Get a grip

"Sucide bombers dont care if the data is retained, what are you to do with it? prosecute the crater they leave?"

That could be a very sensible thing to do. Sue the city/county or whatever who owns the ground where the crater was left. They surely were not prepared enough to ensure that the critical infrastructure could withstand a blast so no crater would emerge.

Rule #1: always blame someone else

Rule #2: see rule #1

4
0

Square-kilometre radio telescope wins millions in UK funding

b0llchit

Re: Is everybody sure this is not an extension of the spying network?

Of course, they are also placing mirrors in orbit to reflect the world-wide signals back to the array. But that is a different, non-public, budget. Give the scientists some change to cover up the orders of magnitude more costly spying operation. Then, when it all gets under public scrutiny, blame the scientists for not keeping to the budget. Its a win-win for the government vs. the government.

0
0

CIA snoops snooped on Senate to spy spy torture report – report

b0llchit
Facepalm

Recursive conundrum

Who watches the watchers becomes a recursive conundrum when the watchers of the watchers watch the watchers.

Maybe _all_ watchers should be fired to break the infinite loop and start from scratch. At least, the stack overflow is near...

1
1

Random car shutdowns force Toyota to recall Prius hybrids - AGAIN

b0llchit
FAIL

To use or not to use computers, that is the question

Can I have a computerless car, please? Also, no complicated electronics.

Fewer parts, fewer fails. It was called KISS at some stage, but got probably rebranded to mean something completely different.

19
7

Vultures circle to feast on carcass of free remote desktop service LogMeIn

b0llchit
Black Helicopters

A security nightmare

Although a remote desktop is appealing from many points of view, it is a security nightmare. I'd not call it gotoMYpc, but AnySpookCanSeeMyPCToo.

7
0

Slurp away, NSA: Mass phone data collection IS legal, rules federal judge

b0llchit
Meh

Re: Bollocks

US population ~317*10^6

Life expectancy ~78.4 years

Deaths per year: > 4,040,000

Most of these death are from old age. Therefore, by definition of severity, old age must be outlawed and banned for each and every person. It is an intolerable situation that we can accept so many death each and every year. A catastrophe happening each and every year, simply unbearable. It MUST be illegal and unconstitutional to allow so many people to die!

13
2

We don't need no STEENKIN' exploit brokers: Let's FLATTEN all bug bounties

b0llchit
Facepalm

"Free" market prices

Once you set a price, the competition will set another, likely more competitive price.

$150000 if I sell white-hat, $175000 if I sell gray-hat, $200000 if I sell black-hat. Guess who is getting the next exploit first...

It would be an arms-race and it cannot be solved with money. Security is primarily an attitude problem and, as with all non-technical problems, you cannot use technology to solve a non-technical problem.

6
0

Cyanogen grabs $23m, will ship mod-installed N1 smartmobe on Xmas Eve

b0llchit
Childcatcher

Que the patent wars

How long before a substantial part of those 23*10^6 will be needed to "pay off" the patent trolls? A good deed never goes unpunished.

2
1

Sysadmin job ad: 'If you don’t mind really bad work-life balance, this is for you'

b0llchit

Re: That ad is pretty honest

Look at the bright side. It /can/ end well. Such job is the perfect place for the hatching of a brand new and fresh BOFH with all the required attributes.

The job description means access to any and all part of the infrastructure and ensures future maintenance to be in strictly regulated BOFH hands. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing!

1
0

New NSA leak reveals invasion of the management consultants

b0llchit

Re: And now for a recital of NSA poetry

My Bullshit Bingo-card already overflowed reading the article. Then, as a consequence, the earth gave up and spontaneously exploded. And you want poetry? Can't you just leave it at planet destruction so my towel can be kept clean?

7
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017