* Posts by Justice

181 posts • joined 3 Mar 2011

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Irish fella accused of being Silk Road admin 'Libertas' hauled to US

Justice

Undercut???

You mean most of the sellers on the Dark Net AREN'T CIA outlets?

Japanese cryptominer slapped with suspended sentence

Justice
Devil

"Hello, Friend..."

There are 33 countries with which Britain does not have an extradition agreement: Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Belarus, Bhutan, Cameroon, China, Dominican Republic, Egypt, Ethiopia, Georgia, Iran, Japan, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Madagascar, Mongolia, Namibia, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, UAE, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Venezuela and Yemen.

Where do we begin???

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

Justice
Mushroom

A great disturbance in the Force...

...as if millions of Devs suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

On 20th anniversary of Microsoft antitrust, US Treasury Sec calls for Google monopoly probe

Justice
Mushroom

How about an anti-trust against Apple?

iOS *still* forces you to use Safari as the default browser.

AFAIK this can only be changed by jailbreaking and invalidating the warranty.

Apple tells app makers to strip VoIP toolkit from iOS software in China

Justice
Joke

Re: China 'Requests' ...........

iComply

Shining lasers at planes in the UK could now get you up to 5 years in jail

Justice
Paris Hilton

I'm confused... like Paris...

How does a ground-based laser pointer shine into the cockpit of a moving plane?

The angle and accuracy required to carry out such a task would be incredible... and unlikely.

I'm starting to think that this is in place because it fecks up expensive night vision cameras on Police helicopters rather being an actual danger.

Maybe I'm missing something, can someone enlighten me on this one?

X marks the Notch, where smartmobe supercycles go to die

Justice
Thumb Down

The line must be drawn HERE!

I'm still happy with my iPhone 6S Plus which works just fine.

Apple stopped being viable when they removed the headphone jack.

Yeah, yeah, I know that all mobile phones are going that way... but I'm not upgrading my pretty awesome cans and car stereo because Apple think they know what we want. They don't. Recent iOS upgrades tell me that they have absolutely NO idea what we want.

I've been with Apple since the 3GS, but I'll be moving over to Samsung or Huawei on my next upgrade. iPhone's have had their day, but in the grand scheme of things, they're overpriced and 2 years behind everyone else.

Apart from the notch on the iPhone X.

That was cutting edge.

I'll get me coat.

US sanctions on Turkey for Russia purchases could ground Brit F-35s

Justice
Mushroom

Are we the Baddies?

Is this the same Turkey that's fencing Oil stolen from the Middle East by 'ISIS'

I'm losing track here...

El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

Justice
Devil

We'll add that to the list shall we?

"Watching porn creates sexual predators."

"WMD's in Iraq are a realistic threat to the World."

"Playing violent video games turns children into killers."

"Home taping is killing music"

A smartphone recession is coming and animated poo emojis can't stop it

Justice
Trollface

Re: I'll go with that.

You mean 2021? Apple are always 2 years behind the trend.

Unidentified hax0rs told not to blab shipping biz Clarksons' stolen data

Justice
FAIL

Don't they have to SERVE the injunction?

Good luck with that.

And lo! Crypto-coins came unto the holy land. And the wise decreed they must all be taxed

Justice
Meh

How will this 'tax' actually be applied?

Irrespective of what people "think" BitCoin either is, or isn't. Exactly how are they going to levy a tax against a cryptocurrency? Sure, you can apply the tax if you've purchased it from an Israel-based exchange. Considering you can buy it anonymously pretty much anywhere in the world, they would actually have to prove you have it first. I wasn't aware that Mossad could track a BitCoin purchase back to a citizens wallet, but you learn something new every day.

Facebook settles landmark revenge porn case with UK teen for undisclosed sum

Justice
Trollface

Hello Miss

Send Bobs & Vagene

UK.gov admits porn age checks could harm small ISPs and encourage risky online behaviour

Justice
Trollface

Quango Unchained

Sounds like a nice little earner for someone.

Although applying such a verification system to the world wide web of pr0n is questionable.

Are our spymasters going to block every single pr0n site who don't sign up?

Even though the laws and legislation of our tiny island probably won't apply in the sites country of origin?

Am I going to have to get a VPN to access my favorite Brazilian Midget Nun Frenzy grumble vids?

Surveillance law slip-up in sight for staff stalking citizens on socials

Justice
Devil

Re: A number of options

I use Social Media BECAUSE it's dumb... or rather, it's drones are.

You can seed no end of employer bamboozles. Heckin' time offs!!!

That was fast... unlike old iPhones: Apple sued for slowing down mobes

Justice
Mushroom

Apple Batteries

They're no bother at all to replace. Seriously. Upgraded the piss poor performing battery in my iPhone 6S Plus to a 4880mAh Japanese manufactured replacement and it now lasts all day on a single charge with heavy use.

The only difficulty was the three industrial strength adhesive strips all snapping off in mid-pull which required a heat bag and plastic card to eventually almost bend itself in half causing heart palpitations and fear of involuntary fire and potential explosion.

Downside is I can't get through the car barrier at work because I used my employee building entry card to prise it out and snapped it in two.

On the plus side, I can look at more cat pictures than I ever could before.

Crowdfunding scheme hopes to pay legal fees for Marcus Hutchins

Justice
Trollface

Re: Who is benefiting

Perhaps look at those who arrested him. He majorly rained on someone's parade. Grudge?

Re-identifying folks from anonymised data will be a crime in the UK

Justice
Facepalm

About as well as the "right to be forgotten"

Apple hurls out patches for dozens of security holes in iOS, macOS

Justice
Joke

Re: As the designated fam/friends IT support

"Mastodon!"

"Pterodactyl!"

"Triceratops""

"Sabre-Tooth Tiger!"

"iOS 10.3.3!"

Amazon may still get .amazon despite govt opposition – thanks to a classic ICANN cockup

Justice
Joke

Re: What about

Hello Friend...

Stop all news – it's time for us plebs to be told about BBC paycheques!

Justice
Trollface

A veritable sea of WHITENESS

Not wishing to detract from the obvious disparity between male and female pay at the BBC... Auntie Beeb also seems to have a preference for all of her favorite Nieces and Nephews to be within a VERY limited palette range.

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

Justice
Coat

Re: I'll get me coat...

Thirteen Incarnations

Sonic ScrewdriverS

Rule 34

Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

Justice
Trollface

Re: Only a British would use a ZX spectrum for music...

Except when they're Australian. (I still have this little gem in my record box)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thompson_Twins_Adventure

Google blows $800k on bots to flood the UK with 30,000 'articles' a month

Justice
FAIL

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Because they're widely considered as an accurate news source.

Is it the Johnny Foreigner sounding name of the news outlet that you object to? I understand that a lot of people have issues with anything that sounds remotely Middle Eastern and involves brown people. Let me assure that such fears are completely unfounded.

You must be thinking of the Daily Mail or Sun.

Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

Justice
FAIL

You're assuming that 5 Eyes will actually know where to look. They appear to have found diddly squat so far and I'm pretty damn sure that the FaceBook group "Death to the Western Infidels" isn't going to contain their master-plan.

Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

Justice
Facepalm

What's that???

You didn't back up your device before applying a major update?

Oh, boo hoo hoo.

You must be so lost without all the data you acquired since you last found the motivation to get up off your arse and sync it with your box with lights.

Gutted.

Probably because it takes up a whole three minutes of your valuable time and could really have been done while you were watching cat videos instead of just leaping in there.

What a personal disaster.

Ray. The permanently sarcastic man.

Sweaty fitness bands fall behind as Apple Watch outpaces sales

Justice
Thumb Up

Re: Quick question

I have a cheap as chips Mi-Band 2.

Best £20 ever spent on wearable tech.

Loadsamoney: UK mulls fining Facebook, Twitter, Google for not washing away filth, terror vids

Justice
WTF?

So...

If someone posts a video of themselves being racially abused to highlight the attack and someone else reports the video for showing racial violence... who wins?

Samsung's Bixby totally isn't a Siri ripoff because look – it'll go in phones, TVs, fridges, air con...

Justice

Re: Not on any

"Hey, fridge, am i running out of milk"?

"Yes, and I've downgraded you to skimmed because the digital scales told me you're getting a little porky"

UK Home Office slurps 1,500 schoolkids' records per month

Justice

Re: and wait for the reaction...

Flowers

By

Irene

Rogue One: This is the Star Wars back story you've been looking for

Justice

Re: Robes?

Username: Darth.Vader

Password: password

Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

Justice

"What's that Tim? We're live???"

The Pirate Bay SUNK: It vanishes after Swedish data center raid

Justice
Mushroom

Cut off the Pirate Bays head...

...and two mirror appear.

HAIL HYDRA!!!

Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Justice
Trollface

Team all prepped to go up there!

Led by some guy by the name of Reed Richards.

VMware's new enemy no. 1 isn't Hyper-V, it's Vladimir Putin

Justice
Trollface

More likely...

Russia and Germany don't trust VM not to add NSA back door access.

Heh

Walmart in iPhone 5s, 5c price slash – gotta make room for that 'iPhone 6', right?

Justice
Trollface

Correction...

Foxconn is said to be.... forcing an additional 100,000 university students into workcamps.

There, fixed it for ya!

Super-snoop bid: UK government hits panic button on EU data retention ruling

Justice
Trollface

Re: The very idea...

Meanwhile Charlie Farr is saying they have to monitor everyone's communications as they can't tell us apart.

Sounds a little racist to me.

Gunmaker finds KILLER APP for Google Glass

Justice

PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!

YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY!!!

ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

Justice
Trollface

Re: Pointless DNS removal

I still own bit-torrent.net if they're interested.

:D

Fanbois Apple-gasm as iPhone giant finally reveals WWDC lineup

Justice

Re: Wants list!

Um... got a carrier update on Sunday.

Can I scrub off 1 & 2 from the list?

My iPhone carrier now says giffgaff and I can access my voicemail from the voicemail button.

Thanks Devs? (are they reading El Reg???)

Justice
FAIL

Wants list!

"For five days, one thousand Apple engineers and five thousand developers will gather together. And life will be different as a result."

Good! I have an iPhone want list. Y'know, the REALLY simple stuff that most Smartphones can do by default without the need for Jailbreaking.

1 - Ability to change the voicemail number.

2 - Carrier customization or at least update to include GiffGaff and other services that operate on the back of another network.

3 - Saving animated GIFs to the photo roll - With the animation intact!!!

4 - Change the default browser from Safari to ANYTHING!

5 - Flash. Get over yourselves and bloody include it.

Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Facebook wants to LISTEN IN on the songs and vids playing in YOUR living room

Justice

The UK government would insist on an 'opt-in default'...and probably not tell us about it.

Dixons and Carphone Warehouse confirm £3.7bn merger

Justice

Re: All in a name

You can bet an obscenely large bonus that they paid through the nose for that pearler of a rebranding. Keep the receipts, lads!!! I think you might be in line to get that repaired. Unless of course you didn't buy the extended warranty.

Web cesspit 4chan touts '$20 bug bounty' after hackers ruin Moot's day

Justice
Trollface

Re: Not even $20

Acktually iz dolan.

Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a cheese-tastic title?

Justice

That obviously depends if JJ's overuse of lensflare manages to burn his stalky little retinas out.

Justice

Dunno why so many peeps dismiss Disney. They've done a stirling job on the Marvel franchise since they took over and the news that characters from the new animated series Star Wars: Rebels will be tying in with Episode VII just made me nerdgasm as much as Season 6 of Clone Wars.

Yeah, it's for kids and I'm a big old 45 year old one.

Ouch... right in the Androids! Google hit by another antitrust sueball

Justice
Trollface

Dear Hagens Berman

Please sue Apple for not letting us change the default browser on an iPhone.

I think that ones a bit more open and shut.

Especially with the old Microsoft IE ruling as precedence.

I'll be expecting my 10% for this one in BitCoin to the usual address.

Cake for everyone!!!

What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

Justice
Trollface

The NEW Apple iSomething

Apples latest product: THE iSOMETHING

Features:

A flat square (or square-like) device with rounded corners and no definable purpose.

The iSomething may or may not contain something and will almost definitely get you sued if you try to create a similar box with something in it that infringes on our 'intellectual' property.

There are already people queuing up outside Apple stored to get one.

Friends don't let friends use Internet Explorer – advice from US, UK, EU

Justice
Mushroom

That's all folks...

*sigh*

I work for an incredibly large insurance company... all PC and Laptops run Windows XP (despite a Windows Vista license on every desktop) and they all have IE6 running as the defaulty Browser.

Can't see us being around for much longer.

UK bank heist-by-KVM gang sent down for 24 years after nicking £1.2m

Justice
Facepalm

Dumb move.

They should have become bankers instead.

Then they would not only be able to fleece billions, but get a nice hefty bonus for doing it too.

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