* Posts by Justice

165 posts • joined 3 Mar 2011

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Crowdfunding scheme hopes to pay legal fees for Marcus Hutchins

Justice
Trollface

Re: Who is benefiting

Perhaps look at those who arrested him. He majorly rained on someone's parade. Grudge?

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Re-identifying folks from anonymised data will be a crime in the UK

Justice
Facepalm

About as well as the "right to be forgotten"

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Apple hurls out patches for dozens of security holes in iOS, macOS

Justice
Joke

Re: As the designated fam/friends IT support

"Mastodon!"

"Pterodactyl!"

"Triceratops""

"Sabre-Tooth Tiger!"

"iOS 10.3.3!"

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Amazon may still get .amazon despite govt opposition – thanks to a classic ICANN cockup

Justice
Joke

Re: What about

Hello Friend...

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Stop all news – it's time for us plebs to be told about BBC paycheques!

Justice
Trollface

A veritable sea of WHITENESS

Not wishing to detract from the obvious disparity between male and female pay at the BBC... Auntie Beeb also seems to have a preference for all of her favorite Nieces and Nephews to be within a VERY limited palette range.

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

Justice
Coat

Re: I'll get me coat...

Thirteen Incarnations

Sonic ScrewdriverS

Rule 34

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Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

Justice
Trollface

Re: Only a British would use a ZX spectrum for music...

Except when they're Australian. (I still have this little gem in my record box)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thompson_Twins_Adventure

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Google blows $800k on bots to flood the UK with 30,000 'articles' a month

Justice
FAIL

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Because they're widely considered as an accurate news source.

Is it the Johnny Foreigner sounding name of the news outlet that you object to? I understand that a lot of people have issues with anything that sounds remotely Middle Eastern and involves brown people. Let me assure that such fears are completely unfounded.

You must be thinking of the Daily Mail or Sun.

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Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

Justice
FAIL

You're assuming that 5 Eyes will actually know where to look. They appear to have found diddly squat so far and I'm pretty damn sure that the FaceBook group "Death to the Western Infidels" isn't going to contain their master-plan.

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Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

Justice
Facepalm

What's that???

You didn't back up your device before applying a major update?

Oh, boo hoo hoo.

You must be so lost without all the data you acquired since you last found the motivation to get up off your arse and sync it with your box with lights.

Gutted.

Probably because it takes up a whole three minutes of your valuable time and could really have been done while you were watching cat videos instead of just leaping in there.

What a personal disaster.

Ray. The permanently sarcastic man.

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Sweaty fitness bands fall behind as Apple Watch outpaces sales

Justice
Thumb Up

Re: Quick question

I have a cheap as chips Mi-Band 2.

Best £20 ever spent on wearable tech.

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Loadsamoney: UK mulls fining Facebook, Twitter, Google for not washing away filth, terror vids

Justice
WTF?

So...

If someone posts a video of themselves being racially abused to highlight the attack and someone else reports the video for showing racial violence... who wins?

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Samsung's Bixby totally isn't a Siri ripoff because look – it'll go in phones, TVs, fridges, air con...

Justice

Re: Not on any

"Hey, fridge, am i running out of milk"?

"Yes, and I've downgraded you to skimmed because the digital scales told me you're getting a little porky"

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UK Home Office slurps 1,500 schoolkids' records per month

Justice

Re: and wait for the reaction...

Flowers

By

Irene

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Rogue One: This is the Star Wars back story you've been looking for

Justice

Re: Robes?

Username: Darth.Vader

Password: password

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Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

Justice

"What's that Tim? We're live???"

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The Pirate Bay SUNK: It vanishes after Swedish data center raid

Justice
Mushroom

Cut off the Pirate Bays head...

...and two mirror appear.

HAIL HYDRA!!!

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Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Justice
Trollface

Team all prepped to go up there!

Led by some guy by the name of Reed Richards.

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VMware's new enemy no. 1 isn't Hyper-V, it's Vladimir Putin

Justice
Trollface

More likely...

Russia and Germany don't trust VM not to add NSA back door access.

Heh

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Walmart in iPhone 5s, 5c price slash – gotta make room for that 'iPhone 6', right?

Justice
Trollface

Correction...

Foxconn is said to be.... forcing an additional 100,000 university students into workcamps.

There, fixed it for ya!

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Super-snoop bid: UK government hits panic button on EU data retention ruling

Justice
Trollface

Re: The very idea...

Meanwhile Charlie Farr is saying they have to monitor everyone's communications as they can't tell us apart.

Sounds a little racist to me.

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Gunmaker finds KILLER APP for Google Glass

Justice

PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!

YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY!!!

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ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

Justice
Trollface

Re: Pointless DNS removal

I still own bit-torrent.net if they're interested.

:D

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Fanbois Apple-gasm as iPhone giant finally reveals WWDC lineup

Justice

Re: Wants list!

Um... got a carrier update on Sunday.

Can I scrub off 1 & 2 from the list?

My iPhone carrier now says giffgaff and I can access my voicemail from the voicemail button.

Thanks Devs? (are they reading El Reg???)

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Justice
FAIL

Wants list!

"For five days, one thousand Apple engineers and five thousand developers will gather together. And life will be different as a result."

Good! I have an iPhone want list. Y'know, the REALLY simple stuff that most Smartphones can do by default without the need for Jailbreaking.

1 - Ability to change the voicemail number.

2 - Carrier customization or at least update to include GiffGaff and other services that operate on the back of another network.

3 - Saving animated GIFs to the photo roll - With the animation intact!!!

4 - Change the default browser from Safari to ANYTHING!

5 - Flash. Get over yourselves and bloody include it.

Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!

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Facebook wants to LISTEN IN on the songs and vids playing in YOUR living room

Justice

The UK government would insist on an 'opt-in default'...and probably not tell us about it.

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Dixons and Carphone Warehouse confirm £3.7bn MEGA-BORG

Justice

Re: All in a name

You can bet an obscenely large bonus that they paid through the nose for that pearler of a rebranding. Keep the receipts, lads!!! I think you might be in line to get that repaired. Unless of course you didn't buy the extended warranty.

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Web cesspit 4chan touts '$20 bug bounty' after hackers ruin Moot's day

Justice
Trollface

Re: Not even $20

Acktually iz dolan.

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Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a CHEESE-TASTIC title?

Justice

That obviously depends if JJ's overuse of lensflare manages to burn his stalky little retinas out.

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Justice

Dunno why so many peeps dismiss Disney. They've done a stirling job on the Marvel franchise since they took over and the news that characters from the new animated series Star Wars: Rebels will be tying in with Episode VII just made me nerdgasm as much as Season 6 of Clone Wars.

Yeah, it's for kids and I'm a big old 45 year old one.

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OUCH... right in the Androids! Google hit by another antitrust sueball

Justice
Trollface

Dear Hagens Berman

Please sue Apple for not letting us change the default browser on an iPhone.

I think that ones a bit more open and shut.

Especially with the old Microsoft IE ruling as precedence.

I'll be expecting my 10% for this one in BitCoin to the usual address.

Cake for everyone!!!

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What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

Justice
Trollface

The NEW Apple iSomething

Apples latest product: THE iSOMETHING

Features:

A flat square (or square-like) device with rounded corners and no definable purpose.

The iSomething may or may not contain something and will almost definitely get you sued if you try to create a similar box with something in it that infringes on our 'intellectual' property.

There are already people queuing up outside Apple stored to get one.

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Friends don't let friends use Internet Explorer – advice from US, UK, EU

Justice
Mushroom

That's all folks...

*sigh*

I work for an incredibly large insurance company... all PC and Laptops run Windows XP (despite a Windows Vista license on every desktop) and they all have IE6 running as the defaulty Browser.

Can't see us being around for much longer.

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UK bank heist-by-KVM gang sent down for 24 years after nicking £1.2m

Justice
Facepalm

Dumb move.

They should have become bankers instead.

Then they would not only be able to fleece billions, but get a nice hefty bonus for doing it too.

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Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES

Justice

So, a left handed UK passenger visiting France who has GPS switched off to conserve roaming costs is pretty much FUBARED as far as this goes.

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Daring danger-drone dives into VOLCANIC eruption – what happens next has to be seen

Justice
Trollface

All it was missing...

...was a couple of Jedi beating the crap out of each other.

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Apple to grieving sons: NO, you cannot have access to your dead mum's iPad

Justice

Re: New market.

BRILLIANT!!! You could have rows upon rows of iDevices in the iDead Mausoleum, constantly looping slideshows of their dead owner with a holographic Steve Jobs as your guide.

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First China banned Bitcoin. Now its crooks are using malware to steal traders' wallets

Justice

Hello Friend!

I am Prince Nabunzi Kamadaria, sovereign of the Made-Up Zafini Province and I need your help to transfer some BitCoins out of my country due to a civil uprising...

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HALF of all Bitcoin-investing Winklevoss twins predict $400bn market for the currency

Justice
Alert

How to give something value...

"It's worth something, because we say it is."

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'New' document shows how US forces carriers to allow snooping

Justice
Mushroom

Re: Now broadband, the customers and the owner

I've always considered the *real* terrorists to be America itself.

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Mastercard and Visa block payments to Swedish VPN firms

Justice
Thumb Up

Re: Time for a new credit card firm?

You get my like for the irony.

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Yahoo! announces last hurrah of ancient AltaVista search

Justice
Unhappy

!!!

I! Miss! The! Exclamation! Marks! On! Yahoo! Posts!

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Retired 4-star general probed over Stuxnet details leak - report

Justice
Thumb Up

Re: Unapproved leaks shall be prosecuted to the full extent of my law!

Dear Sir, You win the internet.

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WarGames IMSAI machine for sale (again)

Justice
Mushroom

Re: I used to own one of those

Not to North Koren, I hope.

This stuff is state of the art to them!!!

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Blind activist Chen given spyware-laden iPad and iPhone

Justice
Trollface

Malware on Chinese made device?

IMPOSSIBRU!!!

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3D printers now emitting merged manufacturers

Justice
Thumb Up

Iron Man Armor

'nuff said.

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Apple: iOS7 dayglo Barbie makeover is UNFINISHED - report

Justice
Joke

Re: Here's an idea

Themes in iOS7??? You crazy man!!!

You can't even change the voicemail number on their overpriced junk, and you want themes???

Send that man into the corner with a jailbreak.

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Facebook, Microsoft beg Feds: Let us tell users what YOU asked for...

Justice
Joke

More transparency!!!

If the NSA want to know my high score on Candy Crush Saga... let them!

I have them beaten and they know it!!!

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Interwebs taunt Sir Jony over Apple eye candy makeover

Justice
Thumb Up

Re: Really?

You seemed to be a little confused here, Matt.

WinPho8 does not switch much the same as the new app switching in iOS7.

The new app switching in iOS7 works in much the same as WinPho8.

There, fixed it for you.

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Whoever recently showed us the secret documents: Do get in touch

Justice
Go

Hmmmm...

Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention

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