* Posts by MrDamage

1232 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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Firefox certificate cache leaks user information

MrDamage
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Enquirinf minds need to know

Was there a cry of "Hogannnnnnn!" when Klink found the privacy escape tunnel?

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Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole

MrDamage
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Re: Clickbait title!

> "One of the things I least like about El Reg - a perfectly good engineering story spoilt with irrelevant crap."

Like your comment?

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Booming Android ad revenue shows it’s no longer the poor cousin

MrDamage
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Re: Cost per kilometre

Please stick to El Reg standard units.

Cost per brontosaurus, surely.

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Amid new push to make Pluto a planet again... Get over it, ice-world's assassin tells El Reg

MrDamage
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Re: just wait for the 9th planet

Not a Carrot, but a Boo.

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MrDamage
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Demote Neptune as well

After all, anything that slides out past your anus can no longer being described as part of you, anything beyond Uranus should not be counted as a planet.

/coat.

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$350m! shaved! off! sale! price! as! Verizon! swallows! Yahoo!

MrDamage
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Re: Statler and Waldorf

> "Yahoo was attacked by a state party. Given the world wide presence of Yahoo, it will probably be a repressive and nosy regime who did this."

The NSA was already tapping their comms, so why would they need to attack them as well?

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MrDamage
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Re: I expected a bigger price-drop...

Proof Verizon is run by reptiles.

They seem to have a fascination with "tree-fiddy".

I'll get my coat.

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Hacking group RTM able to divert bulk financial transfers with malware

MrDamage
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Yeah, it's almost like they want to fix the problem first, without giving the miscreants advanced warning of a polonium pellet to the leg.

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NZ High Court rules US can extradite Kim Dotcom after all

MrDamage
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Good news for NZ

Without Kim there tripping over his own feet, NZ will surely suffer less earthquakes everytime he falls over.

Unless the morbidly obese one goes for exemption from extradition due to health reasons.

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Watson can't cure cancer ... or all the stuff that breaks IT projects

MrDamage
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Re: Stupid

> "This was akin to buying fake snake oil"

Let this be a lesson to you folks. Always insist on genuine snake oil from your local IBM shyster sales rep.

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Probe President Trump and his crappy Samsung Twitter-o-phone, demand angry congressfolk

MrDamage
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Re: flame on

Darth Cheeto, love it.

Consider it yoinked.

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Republicans send anti-Signal signal to US EPA

MrDamage
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Re: Plausible deniability

If the staff members in question have been using their own phones, in their own time, then there is absolutely nothing these Republitards can do about it. Not unless they want to try and argue that a job is 24x7 with no personal time, and therefore can be considered slavery, which is illegal.

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Kings College London bods recruit members for penis ring study

MrDamage
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Re: I hope the rings are large enough

What a bunch of spanners.

Don't they look lovely....umm, can someone call the fire brigade for me please? I seems to have, umm, slipped, yes slipped whilst fixing err something in the shed.

I'll get my coat. It might hide the sight of my shame as I walk to the ambulance, now we just have to muffle the jangle.

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MrDamage
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> "which then questions why it's only heterosexual couples"

Because a strap-on has no nerve endings perhaps?*

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Explain! yourself! US! senators! yell! at! Yahoo!

MrDamage
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Re: more like "you pay us $5 billion to take you over."

I think you meant toilet bowl, and it's no mystery.

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Totally not-crazy billionaire Elon Musk: All of us – yes, even you – must become cyborgs

MrDamage
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Re: Someone's been in Silicon Valley too long

You forgot to preface that with "would you believe..."

I'll get my coat. It's the one with 99's phone number in the pocket.

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Apple joins one wireless power group, the other one responds with so-happy forced grin

MrDamage
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Will Apple now adhere to the Qi standard

Or will they continue to cripple it and give a hefty middle finger to world standards?

The reality distortion field will continue to churn out the alternate fact that it's the fault of the cheap Qi charger they bought, but given their current run of lower-than-normal quality offerings, failure to adhere to the standard could well end up costing them in the long run.

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Google to cough up $20m after Chrome rips off anti-malware patents

MrDamage
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By the headline, I was hoping that malware authors had stung Google for infringement. :)

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Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

MrDamage
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Re: Seems like the apple fanboi isn't very smart...

More like "cathetetized" it.

With the prices you pay for it, Apple are surely taking the piss.

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USMC: We want more F-35s per year than you Limeys will get in half a decade

MrDamage
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Re: Irrational

> "On a related matter the F-35 has just completed its first Red Flag exercise where they managed a 15:1 kill ratio."

Flying through a flock of sparrows and then crashing doesn't exactly count as 15:1 kill ratio.

/trollface

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Jawbone leans over, whispers: Psst, guess who's in a criminal probe? Yes, it's Fitbit

MrDamage
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Re: ...there's actually a market for wearables?

Do Fleshlights count as wearables?

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More tech companies join anti-Trump battle, but why did some pay for his inauguration?

MrDamage
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It is a muslim ban

And once again, one of Big John's alternate facts can be easily disputed with less than 5 seconds of searching on Google.

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Want to come to the US? Be prepared to hand over your passwords if you're on Trump's hit list

MrDamage
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Me Too please

I keep refusing to accompany Mrs Damage on her trips to the psychobilly festivals in Vegas, as I refuse to visit a country that treats you like a criminal (taking fingerprints) for wanting to spend my hard-earned money there.

Despite my explanations on how big data works, she's still a "got nothing to hide/I want convenience" apologist.

So if I can be proactively banned, will save me from going through the explanations time and again.

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Big blues: IBM's remote-worker crackdown is company-wide, including its engineers

MrDamage
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Sure, get rif of the older, more expensive workers

And all you'll end up doing is get rid of the ones who have a clue on how things work, and how to fix the weird problems that crop up.

Although I'm sure they'll be more than happy to tele-commute on an adhoc contract at rates that will equate to 1 hours work equals one weeks pay for anyone else.

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The best of Reg readers' David Hockney-style logo redesigns

MrDamage
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Typical USAian

Labouring under the mistaken belief he lives in a democracy.

I'll get my coat. It's the one with the sarcasm oozing from the pockets.

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Revealed: Malware that skulks in memory, invisibly collecting sysadmins' passwords

MrDamage
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Re: Who reboots these days?

Take a leaf out of Simon's book, and shut the boss down.

Bonus points if you "accidentally" make it permanent.

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Australia wants to jail infosec researchers for pointing out dodgy data

MrDamage
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Yes, make it illegal

Because outlawing something has always stopped miscreants from kidnapping, murdering, or otherwise breaking laws.

Once again, conservative politicians are proving they are a complete waste of a cumshot.

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China announces it wants more immigrants, better diplomats and science-led industry

MrDamage
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Re: So that's the plan then?

So by that logic, they'll field a spokeswoman with unnaturally large hands.

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Trump's cybersecurity strategy kinda makes sense, so why delay?

MrDamage
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He didn't sign it

Because cybersecurity is a 5 syllable word. He's still undertaking speech therapy learning how to properly pronounce it, and once he is sure he won't go all Dubya "nucular" on it, then he'll sign and speak about it.

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Boffins build laser satellite data link

MrDamage
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Bitchin'

"In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'."

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Why don't you all just f-f-f-fade away, Kaspersky asks generation SocMed

MrDamage
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The deaf, dumb, blind kid knows what's going on.

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A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!

MrDamage
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First offence.

I do believe that a Wegtuwian thwowing them to the gwound, woughly, would suffice as a fiwst wawning

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Big Tech files anti-Trump brief: Immigration ban illegal and damaging to business

MrDamage
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Re: ...

> "come up with a plan to defeat ISIS"

Step 1 would be getting the fuck out of their country so the Daeshbags can no longer make comparisons to the crusades and call upon the "faithful" to engage in a jihad against the foreign invaders.

Step 2 would involve immediately ceasing to fucking about with the domestic political landscape.

Step 3 would involve telling the oil and mining industry lobbyists to STFU.

But none of this would happen, because profit.

The US exported terrorism to the middle east (and central America, and Ireland) long before the middle east exported terrorism to the US.

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Why does it cost 20 times as much to protect Mark Zuckerberg as Tim Cook?

MrDamage
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Easy to explain

Just as a $1 bag of saline ends up costing $700 or more in US hospitals, the "social healthcare" cost of a douche the size of Zuck can easily exceed multiples of millions.

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Trump's new telecoms chief bins broadband subsidies for the poor

MrDamage
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Re: The dead hand of Obama lives on...

> "You have no idea what 'socialism' or 'communism' mean, do you?"

I know what the classic meaning of the terms are, before they were bastardised into the boogey terms they are today.

But in this instance, they mean we get to see the spittle start to foam up in the corners of mouths of certain commentards, well as pushing that vein in their forehead close to bursting point.

They're easier to trigger than vegan, genderfluid bronykins on tumblr.

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MrDamage
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Re: The dead hand of Obama lives on...

Funny thing is, a lot of right wingers like yourself harp on about wanting a healthy society, and strong community, but you can't have either without a little bit of socialism, and communism.

Hell, even the bloke the most ardent of you claim to worship taught socialism, or do you think he somehow spun a profit from the feeding of the masses? Didn't John the Baptist also teach "Let he who hath two shirts give one to he who hath none?"

You treat the bible like a EULA, you just scroll to the bottom and click "I Agree", without actually reading it.

I wouldn't have a problem with Republitards, or Christians (not to mention Demotwats and Greenies), is you all weren't a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

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MrDamage
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Re: That's not nice!

And that's like arguing that compared to swallowing cyanide, smoking crack is positively good for you.

Doesn't matter if someone is a bigger douche than Trump, a douche is still a douche.

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USA! USa! Udia! India! India! Apple nudges iPhone production base

MrDamage
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Re: On the other hand

The aussie car industry was doomed to fail due to the poor quality that was being pumped out.

How many decades did the falcon/fairmont/fairlane issue with the screaming fan belt go on for?

How many decades did the commodore issue of taillights last about 3 months before one, or both blew, go on for?

Smart aussies soon realised that subsidising an alleged "aussie" manufacturer that pumped out pieces of shit that lasted half as long, and cost twice the price of a Hyundai, wasn't viable. We wanted value for money, and the "aussie" companies just weren't cutting it.

The only thing we really care about when it comes to manufacturing location is food, especially seafood.

We'd like to buy locally made clothes, but bugger all affordable clobber is made here any more.

We do look at the labels, but mainly so we can avoid the "dodgy" cheap crap, and settle for the "meh" cheap crap.

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MrDamage
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Re: This will work

It would depend on if the wall had rounded corners, wouldn't it?

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Fears Windows code-signing changes will screw up QA process

MrDamage
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I'm equaly perplexed

Not by "what is Windows" but that Windows allegedly has a QA process.

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Comcast staffers join walkout over Trump's immigration crackdown

MrDamage
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Social Justice

Given that there is nothing "social" about the executard orders he is signing, or any of the bullshit being queefed from his tw@tter account, then you had best rephrase the question.

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BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

MrDamage
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A good day at the office

Well, half day, after spending lunchtime at the pub, which was proceeded by a mornings work with the cattle prod, roll of carpet, shovel, and bag of quicklime.

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'Completely offended' Sheila calls cops over price-gouging ganja dealer

MrDamage
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legalise it

Not only would the govt benefit from the tax they would reap, but social costs would be lower, as more children would grow up with smiling parents who love pizza, instead of drunk parents who like to punch on.

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Turnbull transforms tech right off his agenda

MrDamage
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Dear USAians

That wasn't an echo you heard after you all collectively facepalmed following Lord Dampnut's* latest tw@tter queef, it was the slightly softer sound of Australians collectively facepalming following Turdball's empty utterance.

*anagram of Donald Trump

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Apple CEO: 'Best ever' numbers would be better if we'd not fscked up our iPhone supply

MrDamage
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they'd have even better figures

If they stopped paying their IP lawyers to patent someone else's prior art.

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Let's replace Ethernet with infrared light bouncing off mirrors!

MrDamage
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not a great idea

Most of the data centres I've been in have the racks so closely packed together, you can't replace old/install new gear without bumping a couple of racks with the trolley as you make your way through them.

So either they're going to have to decrease the rack density, or be prepared for failover-to-cable during replacement runs.

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Parliamentary Trump-off? Pro-Donald petition passes 100k signatures

MrDamage
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Re: nice!

> "This new petition is very rapidly growing, so make sure to point out how comparatively small it is (so far), without mentioning that the other petition has had many days to grow."

The "No" petition hit almost 1000000 votes in the first 24 hours.

The "Yes" petition hit 100000 in the first 24 hours.

So it's growing at 10% of the rate of the "No" campaign.

Now, what was that about grasping at any strawhaired man to maintain their world view?

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WTF is your problem, Netgear? Another hijack hole found in its routers

MrDamage
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Re: Already fixed?

Responsible disclosure perhaps?

Give Netgear enough time to check, fix, test, recheck, refix and retest, produce an update, and then disclose the bug.

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'Maker' couple asphyxiated, probably by laser cutter fumes

MrDamage
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FTFY

Do not inhale CO2 laser beams with remaining lung.

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Cisco: We know what you all want – a $10,000 70in whiteboard with a $190/mo cloud sub

MrDamage
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12 Microphones!

Now everyone in all of the offices can hear me snore as the boss waffles on with irrelevant bullshit.

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