* Posts by MrDamage

1373 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

MrDamage
Joke

Re: Well done students...

I've found the reason why women don't appreciate fart jokes, is because they never shut up long enough to build up the pressure to let one rip.

13
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Surprising no one, Google to appeal against European Commission's €4.34bn Android fine

MrDamage

Re: EU SSR

As opposed to capitalist regimes that spend everyone else's money?

No government owns any money. They all function based on what they can take from the people they claim (and often fail to) represent.

5
1

Chinese Super Micro 'spy chip' story gets even more strange as everyone doubles down

MrDamage

Re: Why are ICs always in large packages, how is this dot powered?

It could be theoretically possible. Physically possible, not sure.

An inbuilt thermocoupler could potentially provide enough power for such a small chip to do its work, depending on what exactly the "work" is.

El Reg has detailed before how its possible to snoop on CPU proceeses using the innate sounds the CPU makes, especially when dealing with RSA keys. El Reg have also detailed other hacking methods based on sound from other input devices as well.

So this chip could potentially be listening in for those sounds in order to get a hold of those keys to help facilitate hacking from an external source based on the RSA keys it "heard" .

The exfiltration of those keys is where it starts to get tricky, especially if it has no tracks to any comm ports of any style.

Could the chip then also use sound to broadcast those keys at a specific, seperate frequency that could be picked up by a mic placed somewhere in the data centre by a spy/bought agent, or even just a mobile phone connected to a powr source and secreted under a floor tile or roof panel? Maybe.

Theoretically, its possible, based on existing technology and methods, it's just whether all this stuffed into a ridiculously small package is technically possible at this stage of micro-electronics is the question.

After all, what better way to completely throw off suspicion than to include such a chip, but not have it connected to anything?

4
12

While you were basking in the sun, the relentless march of the Windows-maker continued

MrDamage

bugger the mouse

Bring back the optical trackball.

It's about the only piece of hardware MS has produced that truly outshines any of its rivals.

2
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In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to slurp folks' location data

MrDamage

Hypocrisy of dissent

Funny how Scala's dissent based on the original wording of "persons, houses, papers, and effects", only seems to apply to the 4th ammendment.

The 2nd ammendment did not foresee the sheer firepower available in modern firearms, the same way the 4th did not foresee digital devices.

If they want to limit the 4th to the original wording, perhaps they should also rule the 2nd only applies to we'll organised militias as per original wording, instead of having assault weapons and flame throwers available to the general populace.

9
2

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

MrDamage

Re: Human deviousness

If you think a baseball bat should have a male name, then Lucille would like to have a word with you.

8
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Shock: Google advises UK peers against more legislation

MrDamage

Re: About effing time

You obviously know nothing about the "freetards" you wail about.

What we want is for the websites, and advertising companies to take responsibility, and liability, for the virus-laden ads they have no problems slinging towards our computers. Until such time, we will keep our ad-blockers enabled.

Most of us would be happy to pay in the form of microtransactions to the websites we like, if they had a business model to support them.

2
1

Australia wants tech companies to let cops 'n' snoops see messages without backdoors

MrDamage

Given the amount of times Australian politicians have made laws apply retroactively, they do believe our local laws trump the laws of physics.

0
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MrDamage

Bollocks

Given that the PM himself has admitted to using end-to-end encryption services, then what right do they have to demand to see anyone else's messages?

Surely corrupt politicians are a greater threat to national security than your bog average bloke, they should start off sending all of their communications in clear text, before demanding ever more invasive measures into our personal lives.

34
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USA! USA! We're No.1! And we want to keep it that way – in spaaaace

MrDamage

Re: Just wait.

Unless the Chinese or Indian missions decide to knock over the American flag planted on the moon, in which case the populace will be baying for the US to send astronauts back to the moon to restore their glory.

8
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Calm your conspiracy theories, latest glimpse reveals Planet Nine may just be a pipe dream

MrDamage

There's your problem. Half a tab of acid and a couple of reefers, and it made perfect sense to me.

14
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John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

MrDamage

Finally!

After 4 long years, the US will have a comparatively sane president.

38
2

NASA spots asteroid on crash course with Earth – with just hours to go

MrDamage

While it's a shame we wouldn't have time to call up Bruce Willis, we should also be thankful that Ben Afleck would not have to be seen.

9
0
MrDamage

Re: velocity of a sheep in a vacuum in El Reg units

If the sheep is in a vacuum, then it's sheared status becomes irrelevant.

If in doubt, refer to Commander David Scott's experiment on the moon when he dropped a feather and a hammer.

If you doubt the moon landings, refer yourself to the Bursar for some dried frog pills.

50
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Did you even sweat, tho? Plaintiffs told to amend claims in Apple headphones suit

MrDamage

Worked as advertised

The batteries lasted all 12 hours before they completely shat themselves.

6
0

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

MrDamage

Re: I've outlined the reasons on El Reg countless times

> "Win 10 is the last version of Windows, so Microsoft is constantly trying to 'reinvent the wheel' and cram in new features through updates (with fancy names e.g. Spring Creators Update) to make it seem 'fresh' and 'new'."

Maybe they got their hemispheres mixed up. Down south it's Autumn, so it's only fitting the update is slowly killing everything.

39
2

Google to add extra Gmail security … by building a walled garden

MrDamage

Whatever Google is smoking, I'll take a kilo

What could go wrong? After years of telling our users not to click on random links in emails, Google is now trying to convince us it's a good thing?

And even if they recipient does use Gmail, how do they plan to stop people from using snipping tool, or the printscreen key, or even a convoluted setup of a screen-reader having its output sent to a speech to text function?

13
1

They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

MrDamage

Re: Congress first....All US Government offices second....

Also make those who propose, and back, such mandatory backdooring policies should be the ones held financially liable for anything that goes wrong with their "magical access".

27
0

Modern life is rubbish – so why not take a trip down memory lane with Windows File Manager?

MrDamage

Loved XTG.

So many of my mates x86 computers stopped saying "Bad command or filename" , and started saying "Learn to spell, dickhead"

Normally just after I remmed out everything in autoexec and config.sys, and used XTG to give everything else +RSH attributes.

5
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What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

MrDamage

Re: Potential

If the pair of you read the paragraph in relation to the rest of the articles it makes sense.

If you insist on reading the paragraph as a standalone block of text, then reading comprehension failure can be expected.

10
2

Parents blame brats' slipping school grades on crap internet speeds

MrDamage

Re: Wiki

> "Seems to run on 56k fine when I was a kid."

56k? Luxury!

When I were a lad, we had to send our bits at 300 baud, uphill both ways, while hoping the dogs wagging tail didn't bash into the telephone stand and knock the phone off the hook.

14
0

Fun fact of the day: Voice recognition tech is naturally sexist

MrDamage

Re: Bullshit and bollocks

> "But to be fair most men can't understand a thing women say either"

The other day, the missus said "You haven't been listening to a single word I said, have you?"

I thought that it was an odd way to start a conversation.

*badoom-tish*

I'll be here all week. Tip the steak, try the waitress.

5
0

It's March 2018, and your Windows PC can be pwned by a web article (well, none of OURS)

MrDamage

Pretty sure it's a coincidence, just as how it's utterly coincidental that in the rush to get the fixes out before P2O, they've just created another 90 vulnerabilities on the "patched" systems.

10
1

Mayors of America demand net neutrality protections… again

MrDamage

Re: Net Neutrality - All Worked Up Over A NothingBurger

Refer to my post from 3 months ago for more information, you ignorant twatdangle.

It can be found here.

3
0

Stunning infosec tips from Uncle Sam, furries exposed, Chase bank web leak, and more

MrDamage

Re: belling the bat

Bounder: So, you're interested in one of our adventure holidays, are you?

Tourist: Yes I'm sorry I can't say the letter 'B'

Bounder: C?

Tourist: Yes that's right. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a sboolboy. I was attacked by a bat.

Bounder: A cat?

Tourist: No a bat.

Bounder: Can you say the letter 'K'?

Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, kind, kettle, Kipling, kipper, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford.

Bounder: Why don't you say the letter 'K' instead of the letter 'C'?

Tourist: What you mean.....spell bolour with a K?

Bounder: Yes.

Tourist: Kolour. Oh thank you, I never thought of that. What a silly bunt.

7
0

RIP, Swype: Thanks for all the sor--speec--speedy texting

MrDamage

Re: tips & corrections

> "Surety Swype not Skype..."

Beware Muphry's law when commenting on typos.

1
0

Who wanted a future in which AI can copy your voice and say things you never uttered? Who?!

MrDamage

Re: Not a single lawful one?!

Better still;

Max Headroom

2
0

Amateur astronomer strikes it lucky with first glimpse of a Supernova

MrDamage

Re: Correct vocabulary please

71.4286 linguini, or

1.0847 double decker buses, or

0.455 brontosaurus

2
0

Use ad blockers? Mine some Monero to get access to news, says US site

MrDamage

Re: So-

> "But then again, we all know, all this "ads are a security risk" is just a stupid excuse, made up by weak minded sociopaths, in an attempt to justify robbing honest working bloggers/journalists/publishers or their well-deserved income, so they (ie. the blockers) can deluded themselves in being control of and over something in their pitiful lives, otherwise hopelessly controlled by people a lot smarter than them."

You're either naive, stupid, or just plain belligerent to try that argument, on this site, when it has run stories, time and again, detailing how ad-slinger services have been compromised to shove malware down the throats of unsuspecting Web surfers.

The comment forums on the stories have offered up numerous ways in which these problems can be fixed, but instead people like you insist that the model is perfect, despite evidence to the contrary. You make me Trump seem like a reasonable, rational person in comparison.

0
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MrDamage

Re: So-

> "so it always amazes me that so many people thoughtlessly begrudge them the few pennies they are able to earn from a visit."

It always amazes me that marketing shills such as yourself refuse to accept the fact that advertising formats currently available are a huge security risk to a person's computer, privacy, and identity. You will harp on and on about the costs to the publisher, without acknowledging the costs to the consumer should they allow the snooping adverts, or worse, assorted Trojans and virii on their systems, because advertisers refuse to sanitise the products they wish to shove down our throats.

Host it yourself, advertise in the way of images and not in scripts, and stop with popups, pop-unders, autoplay audio/video, and the every annoying floating ads, and then we'll consider switching off ad blockers.

7
3

The e-waste warrior, 28,000 copied Windows restore discs, and a fight to stay out of jail

MrDamage

Re: Oh, come on

> "What happened to common sense in courts...?"

Lawyers happened. Instead of arguing over what the framework of the law contains, they'd rather argue over what colour the framework is.

109
3

Hands up who HASN'T sued Intel over Spectre, Meltdown chip flaws

MrDamage

> "Remember when you opened your retail CPU box, there was paperwork? You had to read it. By not returning your CPU, you accepted the EULA."

So Intel think they can get away with imposing extra terms and conditions on the consumer after the point of sale? That might be the case in the land of the "free" , but in civilised countries, those terms and conditions must, by law, be made apparent to the consumer PRIOR to the point of sale. Failure to do so renders the EULA null and void.

So Intel owe me, and hordes of others, replacement CPUs, and all the associated parts to run it.

12
0

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

MrDamage

The name Stephen has been bandied around in a few previous episodes, but as far as I can recall, this has been the first hint of his surname starting with P.

8
0

Roses are red, Kaspersky is blue: 'That ban's unconstitutional!' Boo hoo hoo

MrDamage

Re: Good Luck

> ""The government will trot out the usual "National Security" line"

counting on it.

consider this: a foreign company sues your government over NOT buying its product

that pretty much sums it up."

Given that one of the aspects of the TPP that US businesses were pushing for was the ability to sue governments for instituting laws which unduly affected their profit margin, then I say more power to Kapersky for using the same tactic the US was pushing for, against the US.

2
0

Still not on Windows 10? Fine, sighs Microsoft, here are its antivirus tools for Windows 7, 8.1

MrDamage

Re: Marketing vs reality again

Corporate versions will slurp your data, unless you specifically opt out of it.

Where I used to work, it took 3 months of harrowing the folks in charge of creating the SCCM images to make even the most basic of changes to avoid the slurping, and even then, it was just telemetry and feedback.

The sharing of everything with all the apps, and Cortana's stalking, was still enabled, and I wasn't allowed access to create GPs to do the job properly.

26
5

Apple's top-secret iBoot firmware source code spills onto GitHub for some insane reason

MrDamage

Re: Is it Legit?

> "Anon because, well yeah can't let Apple know I have it!"

I'm not going anon, and I'm going to say I have it.

Let Apple spend money on lawyers working out if I'm trolling them or not.

16
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Bluetooth 'Panty Buster' 'smart' sex toy fails penetration test

MrDamage

Not so much as that, rather the front door buster has a well penetrated back door.

1
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Astroboffins spot sneaky signs that the Milky Way devoured smaller galaxies

MrDamage

Re: Massive dwarf?

Ask Captain Carrot. But ask politely, he has a right hook that even trolls are scared of.

4
0

Hawaii governor: I wanted to tell everyone nuke alert was fake – I just forgot my password

MrDamage

Re: Scary Stuff

> "with megadeath appear in the middle of Kansas to bludgeon some sense into it."

I'm sure Dave Mustaine would be more than happy to bludgeon some sense into the Cheeto-in-Chief and his Oompa Loompa supporters.

0
0

Pope wants journalism like the Catholic church wants child sex abuse probes: Slow, aimless...

MrDamage

FTFY

> "Sane, rational people reference the Crusades, Spanish Inquisition and Salem With Trials as examples for the harm caused by playing it fast and loose with reality."

16
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No hack needed: Anonymisation beaten with a dash of SQL

MrDamage

Re: It's one thing to make a law...

> "are our politicians this stupid?"

The simple answer is yes.

The more troubling answer is "yes, and they think they know what's best for us."

2
0

FCC douses America's net neutrality in gas, tosses over a lit match

MrDamage

Re: Black arm bands for everyone

OK Johnny boy, lets show you what will happen with the end of net neutrality, because the scum sucking corporate overlords have done it before. Its all public record, and available for you to research for yourself.

2005: Madison River Communications blocked VOIP services as they were competing with traditional voice services.

2005: Comcast blocked p2p services.

2007-2009: AT&T blocked Skype and other VOIP services because again, it was competing with their own voice services.

2011: MetroPCS tried to block all video streaming except for Youtube, and then tried to sue the FCC when they were told to stop.

2011-2013: AT&T, Sprint and Verizon blocked access t oGoogle Wallet as it competed with their own products.

2012: Verizon was demanding Google block tethering apps on Android, as it would allow people to avoid using Verizon's $20 tethering app.

2012: AT&T tried to block Facetime unless customers paid more for their plan to "allow" Facetime.

2013: Verizon stated that it was only the Net Neutrality rules that was preventing it from offering teired services.

So go ahead Little John, be a cheeto cheerleader and welcome your corporate overloards to charge you extra for varying services that, until now, were protected and treated as equal goods.

Perhaps a car analogy would help you wrap your mind around it.

Government does deal with a road building company, and a car manufacturer. From this day on, only Ford are allowed to do the maximum speed limit of 65mph, with all other manufacturers relegated to only 35mph, unless the car owner pays extra to be "allowed" to travel at 65mph.

72
1

The case of the disappearing insect. Boffin tells Reg: We don't know why... but we must act

MrDamage

Re: Pedantry

> ""mammals such as birds" Tits?"

Or a brown throated warbler.

0
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Qualcomm takes 5G to spooky millimetre land

MrDamage

Re: Finally a chance again for crossed lines?

> ”Does this mean we might finally get the full 'landline' experience using mobiles?

HELLO, HELLO.....CAN YOUR HEAR ME??!!"

I used to use Vodafone on Australia, and that was exactly the experience we got. They then had the gall to claim that the phone I owned was "incompatible with their network".

Funny, considering I bought it from them as part of the plan.

Never again will Vodafail grace my devices.

1
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Supreme Court to rule on whether US has right to data stored overseas

MrDamage

Try ProtonMail

Based in Switzerland.

Don't get much mail storage for a free account compared to the "You are the Product"..ahem..free email systems, but for a few bob per day you can get some serious storage, with ProtonVPN thrown in for the top level account.

1
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Review pins blame for Medicare ID breach on you. All of you

MrDamage

"Australia Card" by default

The govt demanded it, and now they're seeking to blame the tax payer for their incompetence.

2
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Smut-watchers suckered by evil advertising

MrDamage

And they complain if you visit their site with an ad-blocker enabled

Well, so I've heard *shifty eyes*

1
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Bad news! Astroboffins find the stuff of life in space for the first time

MrDamage

Sir PTerry's "The Globe"

Rules 5 & 6

Life turns up everywhere it can.

Life turns up everywhere it can't.

35
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White House staffers jabbed with probe over private email use

MrDamage

Re: Am I paranoid?

> "He's getting a whole lot done while you and yours distract each other laughing about how stupid he is.

Who's the imbecile again?"

The imbecile would be the ones swallowing his 140 character brainfarts as gospel.

You, in other words.

20
3

Boeing slams $2m on the desk, bellows: Now where's my jetpack?

MrDamage

Cat + buttered toast

Personal levitation and gyroscopic device all in one.

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