* Posts by MrDamage

1321 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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Driverless cars will make more traffic, say transport boffins

MrDamage
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Re: Maybe...

Us aussies have all had a wee chunder in the back of a taxi, so that's why we're loathe to share out our AV, we know someone will end up splashing the insides with a technicolour yawn.

We're a crass lot, so there would also be the boogers wiped in the carpet or under the door handle, splooge in places you wouldn't think possible, and somehow, someone would leave a perfectly formed steamer in the ashtray.

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Hurricane Irma imperils first ever SpaceX shuttle launch: US military's secret squirrel X-37B

MrDamage
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Trollface

Re: Just Category 5?

Category 6 will be implemented by Trump, when he starts bragging how he has overseen the yuuugest storms, the bestest storms, the powerfulest storms.

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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

MrDamage
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Re: Just sub armless fun

You're confusing Kim with Bob.

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Drive-thru drive-by at McDs after ice cream no-show, say cops

MrDamage
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Re: Sundae Morning Coming Down?

> "This stuff is some chemical concoction that's never been near a cow."

We talking about their "ice-cream", or "beef"?

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If Anonymous 'pwnd' the Daily Stormer, they did a spectacularly awful job

MrDamage
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Pirate

Incorrect

> "I upvoted you because things like the daily stormer have no place in society."

They do have a place in society. That place is on a bridge, facing down a 1974 ex-police Dodge Monaco piloted by Jake and Elwood Blues.

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Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

MrDamage
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The Irony

Of idiots who claim supremacy, marching under the flags of people who never won a war.

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Kaspersky axes antitrust complaints against Microsoft after Windows giant vows to play nice

MrDamage
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Re: Allow Russia??

I would rather trust a Russian company whose business plan is to find and close exploits, when compared to an American company whose business plan is to release exploitable products due to shitful coding, and placing greater import on bells and whistles instead of security and stability.

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Apple, Google pull options trading apps after Australian regulator shows scams

MrDamage
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I initially read it as "earn 90% less in an hour".

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Microsoft: Get in, IT nerds, you're now using Insider builds and twice-annual Windows rollouts

MrDamage
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FTFY

> "Sysadmins who have only just upgraded from Windows 7, there's a brown paper bag on your doorstep that's just been set alight."

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iRobot just banked a fat profit. And it knows how to make more: Sharing maps of your homes

MrDamage
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Glad I bought a "dumb" competitors' model.

See title.

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Funnily enough, charging ££££s for trashy bling-phones wasn't a great idea

MrDamage
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Re: "paying out the nose"

> "Actually, we say "paying out the ass". But since you Brits can't even say ass properly, I don't blame the author for mixing the metaphor."

Brits, and Aussies for that matter, know how to says ass. It's just we know the difference between a donkey and a sphincter.

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Don't panic, but your Bitcoins may just vanish into the ether next month

MrDamage
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Re: An alternative

> "... or you could use a triangular rubber coin approximately six thousand miles along each side."

But who wants to fuck about with piddling small change?

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MrDamage
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Re: I your DOLLAR$

> "IF I GET MOAR DUNvotes I MIGHT stop POSTING"

Please do. By the looks of your posts, you are nought but a lame and pale imitation of AManFromMars.

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UK spookhaus GCHQ can crack end-to-end encryption, claims Australian A-G

MrDamage
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Re: so gravity will be easy-peasy

> "How else does Australia cling on to the bottom of the globe ?"

Our government sucks, hard.

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Adult toy retailer slapped down for 'RES-ERECTI*N' ad over Easter

MrDamage
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Re: Think that one was bad?

I already know what they have in store.

Strap-ons.

I just feel sorry for anyone called Dan.

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MrDamage
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Re: Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity,

A lot of people try reading the bible, but when the prologue (genesis) has so many plot holes and retcons it makes the twilight saga seems like quality material, they give up in disgust.

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MrDamage
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Re: Oh dear

> "It's really not that difficult to respect somebody who holds different views to your own, is it?"

I treat other people's views and opinions like a penis.

It's all well and good that you have one, and that you're proud of it, but the moment you whip it out, start waving it in my face and telling me how great it is compared to anyone else's, is the moment I stop respecting, and start ridiculing.

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

MrDamage
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Let PETA win

Set the precedent. Then watch everyone who triggers a red-light or speed camera sue the police and courts for breach of copyright should the picture be published in any way.

After all, it is the person who is triggering the camera who effectively "presses the button"

I'll get my coat. It's the one with the gold medal for shit-stirring in the pocket.

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Flight Centre leaks fliers' passport details to 'potential suppliers'

MrDamage
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“human error, not by a system or security failure”.

If their system allow such quantities of sensitive information to be shared in such a manner, it is both a system AND security failure.

Furthermore, they are irresponsible to claim the risk of it being misused is "low", as they have no control over it once it left their systems. A fully independent and detailed audit should now take place, at Flight Centres expense, with the ultimate costs (replacement passport and C/Card costs, as well as financial compensationfor those affected) coming from the collective pockets of the Board.

Until the costs of fuckups like this start hitting the C*O's, none of them will take security seriously.

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Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser

MrDamage
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Re: The cause of the next world war

We in the west are at war with ourselves. The media arms of the various politcal parties have the "loony left" and "fundamentalist right" so busy insulting each other, they can't stop for long enough to closely look at the arseholes causing the angst.

Once we can collectively pull our heads out of our arses, the "ruling elite" will be in for a world of hurt.

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nbn™ hits the half-way mark – but has more than half of the job left

MrDamage
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Re: NBN

I have to disagree with you there.

Under Labour, it would have been a FTTH clusterfuck

Under the Conalition, it's a FTTN clusterfuck, with the added bonus of a complete clusterfuck in 3 years time when it becomes apparent that the MTM idea was doomed from the get-go.

But what do I know, I have to wait until 2020 before the "fixed wireless" version of 2 tins cans connected with string replaces my 4.5/1Mbps ADSL2 line.

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Canberra reviewing online Medicare lookup after data breach

MrDamage
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Insider?

Or sub-continental out-sourcee?

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LHC finds a new and very charming particle: the Xicc++ baryon

MrDamage
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Re: Awe

Go ahead and offer them a beer. Eventually one will spill it on the control panel, and we'll end up with a varient of D.A's Limited Improbability Engine, which some will then connect to a cup of tea to make an Unlimited Improbability Engine.

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Bah Gawd! WWE left wrasslin' fans' privates on display online

MrDamage
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WWE

Where people without pants, compete for a belt.

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Bonkers call to boycott Raspberry Pi Foundation over 'gay agenda'

MrDamage
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Re: LGBTQIBFt

> "Lesbian

Gay

Bisexual

Transsexual

Queer

Intersex

Asexual"

Brony

Furry

teapot

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Oz attorney-general a step closer to SCNA*

MrDamage
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Yes, let's put him in charge

And let every aussie spam the fuck out of him every time there is a problem with the phones, or NBN, or cable (?.

Be careful what you ask for George, because we're more than happy to deliver it, in spades.

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Shock: NASA denies secret child sex slave cannibal colony on Mars

MrDamage
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Re: couldn't we just ask?

We could ask him, but would any of us understand his answer?

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Five-eyes nations want comms providers to bust crypto for them

MrDamage
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Re: Breaking News: Water is wet

Someone already has. He's called "AmanfromMars".

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MrDamage
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More like

Governments legislating private companies set impossible timetables.

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Hot news! Combustible Galaxy Note 7 to return as 'Galaxy Note FE'

MrDamage
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Fucking Eedjits

They're the ones buying them.

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'Bio-hacker' embeds public transport ticket under his skin

MrDamage
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wasted opportunity

If you're going to get a chip of that size (approx 10x6mm), surely the place to get it is under the nail of your middle finger.

You can express your opinion of ticket inspectors at the same time as showing you are right to travel.

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Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

MrDamage
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Re: Roos

Not just that, but the shade of their coats give them great camouflage amongst the scrub the the side of the road, and even light mist can obscure them fairly well.

I don't even qualify as being in the "outback" (hour and a bit north of Sydney), and I have at least 2 near-misses per week,

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Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

MrDamage
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Dear Politicians

There is a forest out there working hard replenishing the oxygen you are wasting.

Please go and apologise to it.

What I want to know is if they legislate weakened encryption, will they (the politicians, not the government) also accept legal and financial liability for the inevitable breaking of it by bad actors? The tax payer does not deserve to be burdened with the extra cost of these numpty-headed decisions.

What company in it's right mind would be willing to risk using 5-eyes based encryption if they have to accept all of the risks?

Fucking morons the lot of them.

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Queensland Police want access to locked devices

MrDamage
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Re: I used to really think Australia would be a cool place to live

Queensland has always been a bit backwards, and quasi-police state.

This is the same state who refused to implement daylight savings because the then premier Joh Bjelke-Petereson claimed it would "confuse the cows", and his wife was worried the extra hour of daylight would fade the curtains.

The same state whose police would arrest Rodney Rude and Kevin Bloody Wilson after each gig for breaking archaic anti-swearing laws, and the same police are the best money can buy.

We don't judge all of the US by Alabama's actions, so please don't judge all of Australia by Queensland.

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Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

MrDamage
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Re: Never mind

> "now is not the time for my gay riposte."

What has cock fighting got to do with it?

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MrDamage
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Re: 40mW????

I would have thought it was about 15 pints to generate 12pees worth of electricity.

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Tesla death smash probe: Neither driver nor autopilot saw the truck

MrDamage
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Re: Still driving?

The question is, why would the scenario you mention trigger the brakes?

A sufficiently sized pothole could trigger the sensors the same way as the impact could. Would you really want the Tesla to slam on the brakes in traffic just because it hit a pothole?

Same could be said for cabin environment. Winding the window down/opening sunroof would cause changes to cabin pressure, so would you want the car to slam on the anchors just because the driver lit up a smoke and opened a portal to allow the smoke to escape?

Yes, I realise they could program in extra inputs to detect these things, but the more inputs, the more things can go wrong, especially when this tech is still in development. But until the current tech is robust enough, I wouldn't go along adding in more points of failure.

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Google, Mozilla both say they sped up the web today. One by blocking ads. One with ads

MrDamage
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Call me

When it's actually available for download.

Unless Google are deliberately blocking it on the Play store. Where'd I put my tinfoil hat?

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Five Eyes nations stare menacingly at tech biz and its encryption

MrDamage
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Re: why

I'm Australian, and I wouldn't trust my government to be able to organise a fuck in a brothel.

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AWS launches celebrity-spotting-as-a-service: What a time to be alive

MrDamage
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Re: What about buttocks recognition? Maybe it would work better!

That was for a blue moon, not a greasy Uranus.

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Nuns chastise Google and Eric names Larry greatest human alive

MrDamage
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Re: Doing more and more evil

> "Apple? I thought it was Microsoft.

I guess I didn't get the memo......"

I didn't get the memo either. When did EA lose top spot?

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Oh no, Silicon Valley! Failed startup CEO on fraud rap after allegedly bullsh*ting staff and refusing to pay them

MrDamage
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Also know as...

> "Yi Suk Choi, Yisuk Choi, Yi Suk Chae, and Isaac Chae"

And once he starts sharing a cell with Bubba, he can add another name to hus collection. "Yusuck Meorf".

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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

MrDamage
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It's not the western businesses forcing them to return to work, it's their desire to afford a mcmansion and BMW that's "forcing" them to give up the bonding time with their crotchgoblin.

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Earth resists NASA's attempts to make red and green clouds

MrDamage
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Re: Strontium ... dogged

Strontium Fog. Sign me up for those gamma ray eyes.

I'll get my coat. It's the one with the time bomb in the pocket. (leaving the puns about Wulf's "happy stick" alone)

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Your emotionally absent pic-snapping partner's going to look you in the eye again

MrDamage
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Technically..

> "Teal and Coral aren't real colours."

Neither is black (or white). It's a hue.

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Samsung's Bixby assistant fails English, gets held back a month

MrDamage
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Re: Rather unfortunately named assistant

I'm reminded of Bill Bixby, the guy who originally played Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk TV series.

Sort of fitting how it will probably grow/bloat beyond reasonable expectations, leading owners to do a "Hulk Smash" when the thing fucks up one time too many.

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NORK spy agency blamed for Bangladesh cyberheist, Sony Pictures hack

MrDamage
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Re: Still not convinced

> "guess how rational my recation would be."

Would it be a musical lament about you being ronery?

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After stiffing us with Trump, Weiner 'fesses to underage cock shot rot

MrDamage
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Re: He forgot something important.

No oversight, just forethought.

He knew the field day the press would have if he said he felt the hand of god and was a changed man.

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What is dead may never die: a new version of OS/2 just arrived

MrDamage
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The only thing I didnt like about OS2

Was the way the 4 people I knew running it evangelised it.

Think of the worst combination of Linux geek, Apple fanboi, Winslave and trainspotter.

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Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

MrDamage
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Re: Mind the gap

In Sydney we get "Please mind the gap when alighting from the train."

Fucking iZombies have to be reminded to watch where they're putting their feet apparently.

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