* Posts by Antonius_Prime

37 posts • joined 22 Feb 2011

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?


Needs pointing out...

Sir PTerry knew ages back...

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”

― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that


Re: Oooops, dropped

We all were. Simon just put it down in writing.

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late


Re: Expired licence checked only at startup - "Just cut out the middle-man and hack the MD?"

Found the Trainee-PFH!

No, you engineer, with no plausible way to trace back to you, a series of events that results in the solemn words being spoken.

"There's been a terrible accident..."

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration


Re: I've learnt to admit my mistooks!

Solid gold plated, platinum and diamond encrusted truth.


Re: 100% honesty 90% of the time

A true BOFH would've chucked the offending miscreant, claimed the expenses for the damaged car, and the expenses for the mileage of driving to and from work, despite regularly commuting via public transport.

With ironclad witnesses as needed. Like his buddies Charlie Ash, William Onga and Samantha Pondu-licks.

Human StarCraft II e-athletes crushed by neural net ace – DeepMind's AlphaStar


Re: It's clever, but it's limited.

See, you've info there I hadn't gleaned from the article.


My main point is that it has learned by rote, only its memory is a damn good way better than a 15-18 year old males! It obviously learns, Borg-like, from strategies that are successful.

And do we really want to unleash an AI on the Koreans? Poor thing won't stand a chance!


It's clever, but it's limited.

No fog of war, same map all the time, same races all the time.

It's been trained to do one map and race very, very, very well. So of course it will excel at that. It's been thought by rote!

If they can train the bot to fling out toxic speech too, they'll essentially have created a teenage boy doing state exams! (A Levels, Leaving Cert, Matric, SAT's etc)

Microsoft sends a raft of Windows 10 patches out into the Windows Update ocean


"Something that will make the preview OS a good deal easier to test for Enterprise customers."

NOOOOOPE. No way. Nu-uh. Ni-hai. Nein. Heck no.

I'll be a dynamo in hell before I let general pop test an OS update...

Unless you're flush with cash AND time AND space AND can set up a test lab, off on its own segmented network where any thing that goes wrong won't kill anything, there is no way in any hell an "Enterprise Customer" (Read: Businesses) will or should be installing test builds regularly.

Best practices aside, it's support suicide. I for one am *very* glad of the fact that there's a six-month delay on "patches" being issued to general pop now. It at least means I can research, properly test and roll back any "features" before it goes out worldwide to the company. Meaning less angry* emails, phone calls and walk-ups for me.



"You'll be happier in the long run."

Mad as a badger and muttering under your breath, but happier...

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files


Re: xfer

It's here that Sir PTerry's Contributions to Computing become apparent.

One, Two, Three, Many. Many-One, Many-Two...

(Base 16, I know, but easier to remember than 0-F)

Can't unlock an Android phone? No problem, just take a Skype call: App allows passcode bypass


Re: So... there's no bug, after all?

A revenue Stream, I believe...


Mine's a pint! It's Friday after all!

Careful with this latest Microsoft release – tug too hard on the threads and it tends to unravel


Re: Ah, the Legendary Friday Register Snark...

I laughed myself out of the chair at the Linux stuff!

That's why it brought TDTIAB to mind!

Ah well, it's Friday, it's The Reg, the article was BRILLIANT! (To clear up lingering doubt in the minds of the Thumbsxit block! :D


Ah, the Legendary Friday Register Snark...

I've missed it's absence in some articles.

I'm fairly certain that the lads and lassies in Reg Central had Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie playing on repeat while drafting this gem of an article...

US bitcoin bomb threat ransom scam looks like a hoax say FBI, cops


Re: No transactions have been recorded yet

Isn't (e) default for ALL El Reg readers?

Threat or not?

Sasser: better post on the reg.


Random Acts of Terror: "Where's the IT angle?"

Random Acts of Tay-Tay: "Uuuughhh her again! (while secretly drooling...)"

Bitcoin Bombers: "lol, better announce how the perps will be hunted by the feds now..."

Latest Google+ flaw leads Chocolate Factory to shut down site early


Re: A load of bollox

"Removing scraping bots will not affect user experience one jot."

Yeah it will! It'll mean a few KB less of Important Consumer Data to be sold^C^C^C ...

Usage Insight! I mean usage insights to be analysed for specific learnings, process improvements and value adding for the end user...

(Ow. Think I sprained my bullsh*t generator...)

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins


Re: You got the chainsaw! Find some meat...

One of my favourite non-Discworld quotes from Sir PTerry involved DOOM.

“Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...

Prayer, fasting, good works and so on.

Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun.

Eat leaden death, demon...”

It's all a matter of time: Super-chill atomic clock could sniff gravitational waves, dark matter


What truly enquiring minds would like to know...

Is when are Apple going to try to stick one in a watch to overcharge people for?

(Mine's the one with the ancient iPhone in the pocket, ta!)

It was a lit CeBIT see, got teeny weeny, world's biggest tech show yearly party... closed its German fest's doors yesterday


Re: Free Tat

Yes, but that is to prove you attended the trade show.*

For when accounts start to ask questions about your expenses in upmarket eateries and "entertainment" establishments.

* The BOFH explained all of this some time ago...

Pasta-covered cat leads to kid night operator taking apart the mainframe


RE: Dried Pasta & Stubborn, Unmoving Cats...

I've always found that rapid, multiple uses of fire tends to get rid of both issues...

(Mine's the one with the asbestos coating and the RFotSoBOFH* logo tastefully embroidered on the left shoulder, thanks. And I've counted the cash too...)

(*Royal Fraternity of the Society of Bastard Operators From Hell)

Malware scum want to build a Linux botnet using Mirai


Re: It's 2018...

I'm always one for bucking a trend of band wagoneers. Have the upvote.

It was a clever joke, one that clever people should get a wholesome, hearty chuckle from.

Bloke fined £460 after his drone screwed up police chopper search for missing woman


Re: F*ck every single flying peeping tom!

The correct term used, I believe is "Litho-braking"...

Sorry, but NASA says Mars signal wasn't Opportunity knocking


Re: Non Relevent XKCD

Impossible! There has never been a proven instance of a given situation not having a relevant XKCD!

Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server


Re: Registry fix?

"Also most consumers don't get a choice."

Well, you're not wrong in one sense.

In another the choice they get is M$ or the Fruit Factory, all for a "It just works! I'm not like those IT techy blokes! I have a life! I don't have time to learn all the useless bollockology* they use!"

(*Actual words used by one of my End L-Users because i took personal Skype off his work PC and told him Biz Skype or piss off. His retort of "it's my PC!" was met with "No. It's the company's. You agreed to abide by the IT Standards when you started. If you don't like it, I'll upgrade you to an abacus and a notepad. I'll be nice and let you choose your own colour pen. There shouldn't be any compatibility issues!")

Macs to Linux fans: Stop right there, Penguinista scum, that's not macOS. Go on, git outta here


Re: "secure" boot is *EVIL*

They're buying it wrong...

If you saw a Google ad recently, know that it helped pay off one of its 'sex pest' execs $90m


Get Thee a Pi-Hole and deny The Chocolate Factory some revenue...

In one week, it's blocked 20% of the traffic in my little home network of myself, the other half's mobes and a half dozen connected devices (tablets, PC's - No truck with "Smart" TV's). 20% of that traffic was all advert requests.

Not bad for something that costs me around €0.05 a month to run...

It only took Oz govt transformation bods 6 months and $700k to report that blockchain ain't worth the effort


(except, El Reg supposes, the problem of making the vendor presentations stop)

That can also be solved by a block-chain!

You get a concrete block and you tie a chain around it.

Bonus if you can convince the people holding the presentations to tie themselves to the chain.

Then just find a convenient body of water.

OK, maaaybe it's a BOFH-chain solution.

But, it is a solution to a problem of a solution looking for a problem...

Sysadmin running a Mac fleet? IBM has just thrown you a lifeline


RE: Imagine that.

I'm more and more convinced it was Bowie holding the universe together.

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do


Re: D'uh

Well, the one before the current one was a Nazi...

(In his Youth, misspent or otherwise. Obviously staying in cults stuck with him...)

(Maaaaaaassssive sarcasm, as there are those who'll find something to get narky about...)

Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID


Re: As far as te BBC uis concerned...

Remember the lessons of the BOFH. If you're gonna make an identity, make it as out there and as box tick-y as possible.

You never lied about your age, disability or how far along in your transition you are. and that you hid all that for fear of discrimination in the 80's.


Re: A different name for every site?

It's actually the generator of it. iglethal's quote is the footnote.

It's Magrat thinking your quote, that predictibly, being Pratchett, he segues off with a footnote.

The best one on names is, to this day, Glod Glodsonsonson.

What could be more embarrassing for a Russian spy: Their info splashed online – or that they drive a Lada?

Big Brother

Re: An important lesson comes from this story

No, but appearing to be incompetent at being evil; and being caught and thought to be incompetent, will aid when you want to do actual evil competently elsewhere.

The thing to think of is: How to take the UK out of the international running right now? Make it look like Russia was involved in Brexit. Thin the herd of a few useless agents with a hope they may pop a known detractor off. They're expendable. It's a win-win scenario.

Using the knowledge that, frankly, the UK will muck up Brexit completely unaided, all they have to do is appear to be mucking around, get a few deadwood chaps caught to make it look like their not very good at this whole international spy thing, maybe off a detractor.

Honestly; it's a Xanathos Gambit!


(I'd apologise for people getting caught on a TV Tropes wiki hole, but frankly, they should know what they're doing, reading The Reg!)

Dust off that old Pentium, Linux fans: It's Elive


Re: If it's snappy on old kit... @ArrZarr

My test used to be SimCity (The original. Not the abomination EA released a few years back).


OK. Install SC. Start it. Hit PAUSE immediately.

How many Months / Years gone by?

OK. Nice upgrade!

Build your own NASA space rover: Here are the DIY JPL blueprints


Looks like El Reg might have a new set of wheels for LESTER...

And I'm fairly sure his namesake is observing, pint in hand!

NetHack to drop support for floppy disks, Amiga, 16-bit DOS and OS/2


Has anyone told the BoFH's?

I recall that Simon was running it on a PDP in one story. Wonder what our Kiwi Wonder will make of that?

Mercedes answers autonomous car moral dilemma: Yeah, we'll just run over pedestrians


That software was prewritten years ago…

They just need to pay for a copy of Carmageddon on GOG…


Apple evacuates European HQ after bomb threat


Stop using Apple Maps, will ya?

As any Corkonian would tell you:

"Cork isn't Dublin ya langer!"

Windows 7 service pack 1 set to lift off today


It' is available now.

As of 6PM GMT, Windows 7 SP1 is available now for download to individual PC's. Fun times ahead, for good or ill...

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