* Posts by AbortRetryFail

292 posts • joined 2 Feb 2011

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Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

AbortRetryFail
FAIL

I done nuffin

"It just stopped working. There's obviously a bug in your code."

"Did you change anything?"

"No, absolutely nothing. It just stopped working. Your code is at fault"

(clickerty)

"Ok, well I am looking at the logs and I can see that you have swapped out the <piece of discrete hardware> for another, that has a different serial number, different firmware version, different configuration, and I'm seeing error messages saying that you haven't connected it up properly."

"Oh, yes, we did do that"

If tsoHost is lecturing us on sleep hygiene, Brit outfit really does have hosting back to front

AbortRetryFail

Yet another nail in the coffin for TSO

I have several websites hosted with them, mostly WordPress sites, and they all run sluggishly and sometimes I get Jetpack reports that the site is down. I also use TSO as my primary mailserver on the domains.

They've been going downhill for years. If they don't sort this out I may have to shift my lazy arse and switch hosts.

In fairness to them, though, they are fairly responsive on Support Tickets and do genuinely try to help.

Former BAE Systems contractor charged with 'damaging disclosure' of UK defence secrets

AbortRetryFail

Re: A common misconeption

"This is, in fact, a common misconception."

Fair enough. I'm happy to be corrected over my misconception. I thought that there were various levels of "Eyes Only" above "Top Secret".

AbortRetryFail

Re: A common misconeption

As an aside, but in the realms of "a common misconception", it's always amused me that 'Top Secret' is actually fairly low down the list of levels of secrecy and there are many levels above it.

Not a death spiral, I'm trapped in a closed loop of customer experience

AbortRetryFail
Happy

Citogenesis

"You can see the closed loop in fake news, whereby unsupported airheadedness pilched from Wikipedia is supported by corroborating evidence that turns out to be someone else quoting from the very same Wikipedia page."

Ah, that'll be Citogenesis. https://xkcd.com/978/

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

AbortRetryFail

Re: Amateur Banks

@Alien8n - I briefly worked as a programmer as an employee of NatWest early in my career. They would only pay my salary into a NatWest bank account, which they insisted I open, and would not grant an overdraft as employees were expected to be exemplary at handling their money and thus should not need an overdraft.

So every month my salary went into my NatWest account, and the next day the totality of it was transferred by Standing Order to my existing current account with another bank. Apart from the month they messed up and I got hit with bank fees for a failed Standing Order, which they had to reimburse.

They also royally shafted me on holiday pay buy-back and other benefits when I moved on to another job a year or so later.

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

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@Nick Ryan

That's utterly superb - framing the solution in a way the user totally understands. 10/10.

GIMP open source image editor forked to fix 'problematic' name

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Re: Dick

I had a friend called Jo who married a chap with the surname King and became "Jo King". She refused to start calling herself Joanne. Having said that, I haven't talked to her in years so maybe she got sick of people saying "You're joking!" and changed her name.

There once was a biz called Bitbucket, that told Mercurial to suck it. Now devs are dejected, their code soon ejected

AbortRetryFail

Old school vs new school

Moving from SVN to a DSS, I chose Mercurial over Git for a few reasons:

1) The command line of Mercurial is very similar to SVN.

2) The workflow is also very similar.

3) History is inviolate. What is committed is there, warts and all, in Mercurial just like SVN (and CVS before it).

The thing that I have never liked about git, apart from the complexity, is that history is a bit wibbly-wobbly and malleable. Now, perhaps I am a bit old school (I have been in professional software development for 25+ years) and am a little set in my ways (or, rather, like a lot of developers, am lazy and prefer the comfort of familiarity), but Mercurial just seems to fit the way I like to work rather better than git does. Sure, I can learn to do things the git way, but I'd rather continue as I am.

It's a shame, because I'm happy on Bitbucket. But now I either have to port all my mercurial repos to git, or move them elsewhere. And as others have pointed out, if you're having to port to git then there is no reason not to port *and* move elsewhere. I think Bitbucket have shot themselves in the foot here and are losing their USP. If they are going to be just another git host then why use them over another git host?

World recoils in horror as smartphone maker accused of helping government snoops read encrypted texts, track device whereabouts

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Joke

Re: RE: sarcasm meter

3.6 roentgen? Not great, not terrible.

Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?

AbortRetryFail

<Error 32: Punchline Missing>

Me too.

I was expecting "And what we found inside was...." and that this would be the payoff / point / punchline of the story.

But, no, instead it was just "we broke something deliberately. Hurr hurr hurrrr".

Customer: We fancy changing a 25-year-old installation. C'mon, it's just one extra valve... Only wafer thin...

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Re: The dirtiest four-letter word...

I had one support guy keep telling me that the change he wanted me to make was "just" and "only" and how simple it was, in the end I just snapped "If you think it's so bloody easy to do, then you do it"

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'

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Joke

Re: Loyal?

1234? Weird, I have exactly the same combination on my luggage!

Begone, Demon Internet: Vodafone to shutter old-school pioneer ISP

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Re: Historical accuracy

I was with PIPEX and it was a great service.

Much like Demon, though, each time it was bought out and changed hands, it got a little bit worse until it was pretty much unusable. That was round about the time Tiscali or TalkTalk got their hands on it, I think.

But back in the day, PIPEX was awesome.

Google Play Store spews malware onto 9 million 'Droids

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Joke

Obligatory xkcd

https://xkcd.com/937/

You think you're hot bit: Seagate tests 16TB HAMR disk drive

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Joke

MAMR, MAMR....

... doo doooo de doo dooooo.

Microsoft sysadmin hired for fake NetWare skills keeps job despite twitchy trigger finger

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Proactive recuruiter

I had one agent who was a lovely girl but was a bit, um, shall we say "proactive" in looking for new leads.

I'd had a bit of a lull in work earlier in the year, so had filled the gap in my CV with my own company details, saying that the period of time had been spent on internal projects.

Imagine my surprise when I was contacted through the Contact Us page of my company website, with the sender being this agent, saying that I had worked for my company in the past and was interested in doing so again, and did I have any work? I was especially surprised as I had not authorised this agent to contact my previous clients.

AbortRetryFail

Re: Who writes the damn matching algorithms???

Years ago I got approached by an agency wanting me to be the instructor on a Desktop Training course. The agent got quite shirty when I said I didn't do that. "Yes you do! It says so on your CV!" he said hotly, to which I pointed out I'd helped write a Ground Crew Training Simulator for BAe Military, part of which was a Desktop Trainer / Computer-based Training (CBT) package. Yep, you've guessed it, he'd searched for "desktop trainer".

The funniest part was that the recruiter was obviously really desperate, as his final question was "I don't suppose you'd like to have a go, would you?" :)

Your RSS is grass: Mozilla euthanizes feed reader, Atom code in Firefox browser, claims it's old and unloved

AbortRetryFail

re: I read this news first from the RSS feed

Same here.

I use "Live Bookmarks" on the Bookmarks Toolbar extensively in Firefox and would really miss the functionality.

Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

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Re: Naming Schemes

One place I worked at had every PC named after a muppet character. Some were pretty obscure.

Another place had their servers named after tennis stars of the 80's - Bjorg, McEnroe, etc. They were great servers (groan).

Then they were bought out by a big corporation, who insisted all servers were renamed to a boring convention of letters and numbers, and also insisted the "Caution: Respiratory Protection Required" warning sticker be removed from the door of the gents' toilets.

Prank 'Give me a raise!' email nearly lands sysadmin with dismissal

AbortRetryFail

Mailing list fail

I had a business meeting with a client many years ago who was in the Direct Marketing game, and had developed a super-fast database that was several orders of magnitude faster than anything else around at the time (according to them). The guy I was taking to told me a couple of fun little anecdotes.

The first was that they had had to anonymise all their test data and discipline a developer, as he had been running database searches as a personal dating service and making unsolicited contact with potential dates. No, really.

But my favourite one was the story of how when the system went live for the first time, a test job still in the system immediately selected the top 10% richest people in the database and sent them a direct marketing letter which started "Dear Rich Bastard..."

Some of you really don't want Windows 10's April 2018 update on your rigs

AbortRetryFail

Reasons to use Windows

I use Windows 7 on one of my PCs because

a) I play PC games and

b) some of my clients want me to write Windows applications with Visual Studio

Pretty much everything else I do is on Ubuntu, and a lot of clients are these days wanting me to develop Linux applications so (b) is less important. But (a) isn't going away any time soon despite SteamOS, it seems.

I'm kind of dreading Win7 becoming EOL because I really don't want the OS-as-a-service of Win10 but I guess I will have to bow to the inevitable. I can't say that I'm looking forward to it though.

Es are good, Es are good. Xeon Es are good, says Intel: Entry-level workstation CPUs touted

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Re: Love the title

Ahhh ha ha ha haaaaaaaa.

Got any salmon? Sorted.

What do we want? Consensual fun times. How do we get it? Via an app with blockchain...

AbortRetryFail
Joke

Rather have a cup of tea

Looks like Boy George was strangely prophetic after all.

How Google's black box Knowledge Graph can kill you

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Rob Scoble's lawyer told him to STFU about sex pest claims. He didn't

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Re: Some people really are totaly oblivious

His entire defence seems to be "it wasn't sexual assault because..."

I don't know which is worse, the fact that this is his attitude, or that some posters seem to agree with it and are defending him.

Unwelcome attention is unwelcome attention, no matter how you want to dress it up (or mentally undress it).

China claims to have turbine-powered drone carrying 200kg payload

AbortRetryFail

Re: Bah

It's a fair point. The word "drone" has traditionally always meant any unmanned aircraft, including fighter jets converted for remote operation for use as target practice (See QF-4 and QF-16).

However, just like the word "hacker" has been reduced to "bad person who breaks into computers" (completely ignoring the original non pejorative meaning) so "drone" as been reduced to mean "quadcopters and other multi-rotor remote controlled aircraft" (seems the mainstream media don't make any distinction there and often call them quadcopters even if they have 6 or even 8 rotors).

VW engineer sent to the clink for three years for emissions-busting code

AbortRetryFail

Dangerous precedent

So they found a scapegoat then.

This sets a very dangerous precent. Jailing the person who wrote it, rather than the people who instructed them to write it, doesn't seem right to me. Does this mean that every software developer must thoroughly investigate the legality of every piece of work they are asked to undertake by their employer before doing so?

Surely an employer has a duty of care not to coerce its employees into breaking the law and shoulder the legal responsibility should they do so?

Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

AbortRetryFail
Joke

Sexual compatibility

Not sure if you need to be fluid-bonded, or fibre-bonded, in order to use teledildonics. Either way it could be a pain in the arse (if that's your thing).

IBM's contractor crackdown continues: Survivors refusing pay cut have hours reduced

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Re: And yet IBM are hiring contractors

It's an overall government policy as laid out in the Cabinet Office code of practice document 'Recruiting for vacancies requiring National Security Vetting Clearance'.

Trouble is, being merely a code of practice, it can be completely ignored quite legally.

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Re: Why contract these days?

It's true that contracting is getting less and less attractive.

I've been freelance for 17 years now, and am starting to wonder why I do it. I just can't bring myself to take the collar and leash of wage slavery though.

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And yet IBM are hiring contractors

I wonder if it may be to replace people who have walked, but JobServe is currently awash with agencies advertising for C++ contractors to go into IBM Hursley. All demanding a current SC Clearance, which is in clear contravention of guidelines issued by the Ministry of Defence (not that such things bother IBM of course).

The more I read and hear about IBM, the less I want to have them as a client.

Paxo trashes privacy, social media and fake news at Infosec 2017

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Re: Paxo, I have a right to a private life and secrets. Sod off!

Or let's say you're swingers, or in an Open Relationship, or Polyamorous, and the liaison was by consent. Why should the government be sniffing around and passing judgement on you? It really isn't any of their business at all.

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Dunno, mate

Seriously, who hires a speaker to give a keynote talk at an IT conference where they answer every question with "dunno, mate" and "why are you so concerned?"

It would be like a speaker at a conference on Burglar Alarms, Safes, and Locksmithing saying "I dunno why you're so concerned about burglary - the Police do a great job".

BA's 'global IT system failure' was due to 'power surge'

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The dog ate my homework

Power supply failure? Seriously?

LastPass now supports 2FA auth, completely undermines 2FA auth

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Joke

Obligatory XKCD (was: Once again: WE NEED A STANDARD !!!!)

https://xkcd.com/927

(No, not 'Correct Horse Battery Staple', the one about standards)

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Re: Better alternatives...

@AegisPrime - yes that's what I do too although currently still on Dropbox but I'll look into sync.com now - thanks!

I agree with comments that KeePass is rather clunky though. But it works well enough for me despite not being as slick and convenient as I hear LastPass is.

Facebook chokes off car insurance slurp because – get this – it has privacy concerns

AbortRetryFail
Joke

Woody

"I thank God that I wore my corset today, for I fear that my sides have split"

~~ E. Blackadder

"Irony. It's like Goldy and Bronzey, only made of Iron"

~~ S. Baldrick

Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

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Probably going to be some red faeces in their IT department.

What's wrong with the Daily Mail Group buying Yahoo?

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Re: Flickr

I totally agree, Paul.

It's the social media aspect that keeps me on Flickr - I have loads of views and comments on my pics, and that kind of stuff is hard to capture on a self-hosted solution as you don't get the same kind of traction. Obviously I have all my photos backed up, but you can't backup views, comments and social engagement.

We had this debate when The Reg reported that Flickr deleted some chap's account and people were quck to ask why he didn't have backups. He did have backups, of his photos. But that was not what he had lost. It would be like eBay deleting your account and you losing all your seller history and feedback rating - it's not something you can back up, nor something you can self-host necessarily.

As you say, though, you are at the mercy of the provider for stuff like this sadly.

AbortRetryFail

Flickr

My biggest concern with this is that Yahoo currently own Flickr, and I actively use Flickr (and pay for a Pro membership too).

The thought of giving money to the Daily Mail Group does not fill me with happiness.

Original USS Enterprise model set to boldly go… on display

AbortRetryFail

I agree. The original is a little pants really, but that's a reflection of the budget and the (real world) technology of the time.

It has caused a hell of a headache for things set before ToS though - same issue they had in Prometheus, and also the Star Wars prequels. How to explain away the fact that the technology in something ostensibly older / earlier / less advanced can look so much more advanced.

Commentard achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

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Re: I've been around here for ages

Yes, I also briefly had a bronze badge when the system started and then it disappeared again after a while.

Can't say I'm that bothered about the badges though. Although the extra formatting would be nice - maybe El Reg could alter it so that those rights could stay enabled once granted even if the badge goes away again, please?

Microsoft's full-fat E5 Office 365 plan with phone extras goes live

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Trollface

Hosted email

So good, you mentioned it twice. :)

NASA photo gallery: How to blow $200m of rocket in seconds

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Mushroom

Mooltipass

Big badda-boom.

Scotsman cools PC with IRN-BRU, dubs it the 'Aye Mac'

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Joke

Perspex?

Surely the case should have been made from "gairdahhz" rather than perspex?

Photoshop for 40 quid: Affinity Photo pushes pixels further than most

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£40 too expensive...

... when compared with GIMP.

Ok, GIMP's interface is a little clunky but it really is a very powerful bit of software.

Suffering a comms blackout in the loo? Now you don't have to

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Coat

Do you have to, er, log on (as it were) in order to be able to post?

A dual-SIM smartphone in your hand beats two in the bush

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Re: A 20th century way to solve a 21st century problem

The early Orange phones did exactly this. You could have two numbers (both with Orange, obviously), and the phones would handle it all on a single SIM.

Then as new phones started to come out, only some supported the Line 2 functionality, and as time passed the choice of phones that supported it began to shrink until none did and eventually the service disappeared altogether. Which was a shame.

Facebook SSD failure study pinpoints mid-life burnout rate trough

AbortRetryFail
Joke

Damn you, Weibull!

When come back, bring pie.

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