* Posts by tmTM

490 posts • joined 27 Jan 2011

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A Christmas classic: Cloudera founder asks staff to stay another day

tmTM

Re: take the job

Please stay so we can sack you tomorrow.

How about no??

Laptop search unravels scheme to fake death for insurance cash

tmTM

Re: Take your pick as these were ashes

The death certificate was obtained in Moldova, using a human corpse dressed in the mans clothes and carrying his identity documents.

That corpse was then cremated, the ashes and death certificate brought back to the USA.

Cheeky cheesemaker fails to copyright how things taste

tmTM

Re: As a resident of NL

Given the crap you do share perhaps it's best you don't offer the rest.

ICO poised to fine Leave campaign and Arron Banks’ insurance biz £135,000

tmTM

He doesn't care

Lie, cheat and break the law, none of it matters if you win the vote.

Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

tmTM

Re: The silver lining

Does this man own a private island and an army of goons??

He should probably be stopped.

UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

tmTM

So what of all the sites hosted in another country?

Leaked memo: No internet until you clean your bathroom, Ecuador told Julian Assange

tmTM

It's clear Ecuador is getting a little more than pissed off

It's another step in convincing him to finally leave.

He was only going to be welcome for as long as he could curry favour with the Ecuadorian political establishment.

The winds are starting to change and they don't want him sat on their Sofa much longer.

Screwed SAP salesman scores $660,000 jury award

tmTM

Re: Payment upon revrec is common

True, but if the client completes the deal the company owes the salesman his commission, whether he still works for them is immaterial.

It's been 5 years already, let's gawp at Microsoft and Nokia's bloodbath

tmTM

Re: Conspiracy theory?

If I remember rightly the N8 came out a little while after the memo hit the news and what surprised most people is that it was a really decent phone, this raised the obvious question as why so thoroughly burn the platform when it was still producing quality products.

Granted it's time was up, but a quiet, managed wind-down would have worked much better.

As it was all the bad press hurt sales of the remaining Symbian phones while the WP7 devices were still hung up in development.

IBM slaps patent on coffee-delivering drones that can read your MIND

tmTM

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Swap Coffee for Beer and this could work wonders at a large music festival.

No need to stand at the bar, just have the drone fly across the crowd and bring your (viciously over-priced) lager right to you.

That'll learn ya! Data watchdog spanks two Brit phone botherers

tmTM

annnnnnnd..........

they've suddenly folded

UK taxman warned it's running out of time to deliver working customs IT system by Brexit

tmTM

Re: Berxit Or Not

Isn't it abit hard to implement a new system when the idiots in charge can't even agree how we intend to actually leave the EU.

BT announces Gavin Patterson to become ex-CEO

tmTM

Re: Something is wrong.

Maybe if they hadn't wasted Billions chasing football rights their bottom line might look better?

Up to 25% of new builds still can't get superfast broadband – study

tmTM

Re: Superfast

Surely by it's definition Superfast would refer to the top 10 or so percent of available speeds for domestic users.

VM have been offering 300Mbps for ages, at ten times slower you can't really still call 30Mbps "superfast".

Blockheads changing company names to surf crypto wave get a warning from the SEC

tmTM

A fool and his money???

Something........Something.........Something......Blockchain??

Crappy Christmas! Dixons Carphone dials back profit expectations

tmTM

and the price

The latest tech has never been cheap, but the most recent batch of I-things took people's breath away.

Clearly if the latest phone is over a grand most people are holding onto their current one for longer because they aren't willing to pay that kind of money.

Take a bow, TalkTalk, Post Office, Vodafone! You win most-whinged-about telcos award

tmTM

"The Register asked TalkTalk what it is doing to address its abysmal track record."

and the answer was nothing, because people are still stupid enough to use them.

Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

tmTM

The same things happens on ticket websites when a popular event is launched.

Some companies just do not care.

Real Mad-quid: Murky cryptojacking menace that smacked Ronaldo site grows

tmTM

The new replacement for ads?

Not sure what I'd rather (not) have to be honest

Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

tmTM

"Yeah, the hatch hit her head so hard it clean ripped her head off the rest of her body."

and then (probably) sexually molested what was left.

because it's unlikely the poor woman died due to bad maintenance of the vessel.

Flying electric taxi upstart scores $90m from investors

tmTM

Re: Why am I imagining Clarkson and Co with their 'electric car'?

and still it won't be as stupid as Paris Hilton's cryptocurrancy ICO

Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

tmTM

Fire up the VPN

We're going abroad

eBay denies claims it's failing to thwart 'systematic fraud'

tmTM

It's only news because it's actually costing eBay money and not the poor users.

The beast is back: Reborn ekranoplan heads for the Arctic

tmTM
Coat

the project never really took off.

badum tish

Kodi-pocalypse Now? Actually, it's not quite here yet

tmTM

Re: Get it right

" Get It Right From A Genuine Site portal. This encompasses a useful "Find Any Film" search engine."

First attempt at using it and it's total rubbish.

BT and Virgin Media claim 'broadband' tax will cost £1.3bn

tmTM

Re: all that post-Brexit investment

Can't wait for the £350m a week to hit the NHS, we've all been sitting around planning what we're going to be spending it on!

Batman v Superman leads Razzie nominations

tmTM

Re: Obvious omission...

He's up for a lifetime achievement award surely??

Tech moguls dominate Oxfam's rich people Hateful 8

tmTM

"They've got as much money as half the world, scolds charity"

Don't use their stuff then??

oh wait yea, where would we be without Facebook, iphones and Google???

Verizon is gonna axe its 'unlimited' data hogs

tmTM

"Unlimited" doesn't mean "infinite"

unlimited - not limited or restricted in terms of number, quantity, or extent.

Clearly unlimited does not mean infinite, but it does mean "without limit or restriction"

Russian banks floored by withering DDoS attacks

tmTM

I hope the perps aren't Russian

The police there seem quite adept at catching cyber criminals who take on domestic targets.

The same can't be said when it's a foreign bank under attack.

Karhoo who? Uber challenger shuts down after burning through $250m

tmTM

How many users??

"hundreds of thousands of people who downloaded the app"

You spent quarter of a billion dollars and only got a couple of hundred thousand people to download your app???

Investors might want to know where their money has gone, clearly no-one has ever heard of this company or their app.

Facebook chokes off car insurance slurp because – get this – it has privacy concerns

tmTM

Re: Precious

Yes the news here isn't that Facebook defends it's users privacy.

It's the insurance company weren't going to give Facebook a piece of the action.

Fancy Bears' who-takes-what in sports hack list ‘manipulated’ before leak

tmTM

Slam it as soon as it appears?

It's stolen data thrown up online by some faceless hacker, there are few less reliable sources of information, it should be easy to discredit it solely due to it's source.

TalkTalk gets record £400k slap-slap from Brit watchdog

tmTM

Re: "Talk about toothless watchdogs"

Did someone mention the Advertising Standards Authority ?????

Jakarta be kidding me! Google gets $400m tax bill from Indonesia

tmTM

Re: Is this really an option in Indonesia?

"Can we take a look at your books?"

"Come back with a court order."

"OK, here it is."

"Oh. Erm, thats just a gun?"

"yes, it most certainly is"

"now about these books........................"

London's Francis Crick Institute will house 1,250 cancer-fighting boffins

tmTM

Re: funding

Funding for research in this country has been pretty poor for ages, more cuts are really nothing new.

The shear amount of money that came from Europe instead of our own government shows how little was being put in by Downing Street.

Now had they been mates from Eton working in Canary Wharf........................

False Northern Lights alert issued to entire UK because of a lawnmower

tmTM

I'd laugh if the grounds team suggested the AuroraWatch guys double checked their data for concordance before making a public announcement.

EE roaming outage hits Brits basking abroad

tmTM

Re: Is anyone really surprised

Slightly surprised it took this long to hit the skids, mind you they've been quite busy ruining their own network recently.

Bot-herders fire fake GPS co-ords at Niantic to collect Pokémon

tmTM

Re: Perhaps I've missed something here

Game accounts are selling online, some for quite significant amounts of money.

VW's first US settlement nearly settled

tmTM

Isn't there more interest from the regulator side?

Even if the engines don't breach regulations, they still lied and under-stated emissions levels.

tmTM

why in the UK, people have not been able to just return the car as faulty goods?

Well technically the system works really very well...................

Correction: There was no hangman's noose, claims Hyperloop countersuit ... it was a cowboy's lasso

tmTM

"the increase to the PR firm's rate was due to the expanded scope of the firm's work"

and because the PR advisor was now gargling the boss's junk on a nightly basis.

UK South East Coast Ambulance slammed for creaking emergency dispatch IT

tmTM

"something in the official statements does not compute"

Maybe because it's all total bullcrap from a public body desperately trying to cover-up it's failings???

Lycamobile offices 'raided over fraud allegations' – report

tmTM

Re: Quelle surprise

because a company that advertises in phone boxes and grimey shop doorways is definitely going to be 100% legit.

No watershed: China hacker groups in decline before Xi-Obama deal

tmTM

They won't go away

So teams of highly experienced and very well trained hackers are going to stop what they're doing and go off and take a menial desk job???

I'm sure they'll know full well just how much money can be made on the private (underground) market with the skill set they have.

TalkTalk scam-scammers still scam-scamming

tmTM

Re: Hmm

Perhaps after the Talk Talk scam attempt she did some reading online and found all the articles on El Reg??

or she was just monstrously tired.

This morning I gave the dog my cereal and walked off with his food bowl, sleep deprivation - very bad!

Chinese bit-squatter information thieves dupe Taiwan Govt site

tmTM

"Concrete attribution however is difficult for groups with solid state support."

Slight correction

Lights! Camera! Infraction! Filmmakers behind 117 million robocalls to shift DVDs

tmTM

Re: First billion dollar fine for robocalling?

Just a pity the British equivalent isn't as effective.

Instead of including individual executives, they'd just take the already liquidated company to court, then make some moronic announcement about "recovering the fine".

Blood from a stone anyone?

VXer group ramps up malware to attack Indian embassies

tmTM

Nothing at all....

to do with Pakistani intelligence.

Nothing at all...............................well maybe.

Pandora investor: Sell this company sooner rather than later

tmTM

Read between the lines

Hedge fund Corvex Partners has revealed that it owns 10 per cent of the veteran streaming music company

Pandora's shares have almost halved in value over the past year.

They splurged a load of cash thinking they were picking up the next Tech titan.

It's loosing value and they're staring down a big loss.

They want some big sugar daddy to come along and buy the company for a nice premium to get them out of the massive hole they're in.

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