* Posts by bpfh

361 posts • joined 26 Jan 2011

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Google shaves half a gig off Android Poundland Edition

bpfh

Same question about windows 7...8....10...

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bpfh

Re: Old Linux ?

486 DX2 66 with 4 meg ram, running OS/2 Warp 3 presentation manager, and running Word 6 in its integrated Windows 3.1 interface. And running what could be called “virtualised” today an ms-dos 1.1 image in a command shell. And MS-DOS 6.11 image in another command shell, and a Slackware image in a 3rd image in a command shell, though it did end up pulling a trap D when trying to boot a QNX image into the OS2 presentation manager...

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Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

bpfh

Rump steak?

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

bpfh

Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

AETP rather than PETA - Animals Eating Tasty People...

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♫ The Core i9 clock cycles go up. Who cares where they come down?

bpfh

Re: unless I am wrong

You can’t afford the Apple tax.

FTFY.

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bpfh

Re: The song the headline refers to...

Vonce ze rockets goes up who cares vhere zey komm down. Zat’s not my Department...

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Fukushima reactors lend exotic nuclear finish to California's wines

bpfh

Unfortunately too much for my tastes

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bpfh

Re: Banana Equivalent Dose (BED)

You should be able to get a bottle or two on during Lent - you have to drink somthing with the host don’t you ?

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bpfh

Re: Grapes do not absorb much

Interesting that rosé has less Cs than reds and supports your cucumber peel reading: rosé wines are either pressed or more often “bled” off, so the actual fermenting juice is separated from the grape skin, so it would seem that it’s concentrated in the skin, and not just on it or in the yeast used for the wine ( the white powder on a grape skin is actually yeast and can be used to ferment the grapes naturally, though it can be filtered out in “post processing”.

As for mushrooms, in Germany if you hunt boar, you have to do a radiation test on them as some of them are not clean for human consumption due to their personal consumption of forest mushrooms and sometimes have to be disposed of as low level radioactive waste, and there have been some studies about using fungi in radiation cleanup as they do clean some radioactive elements from the earth where they grow, following some studies in Chernobyl where fungi growing in the plant were much more radioactive than the supports they were growing on - and explains the glow in the dark wild piggies who love shrooms...

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Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

bpfh

Re: New version of Cluedo

Aha, the joker card - no body no murderer :)

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UK taxman outlines its CHIEF concerns for customs IT systems

bpfh

Then discover

How many customs offices still use office 97 and crash at 65535 lines...

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Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

bpfh

Bypass autoexec bat & config.sys..

Press F5 or F8 as soon as you see "Starting MS-DOS"?

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

bpfh
Paris Hilton

The boss is coming? I can carry on watching cat videos until she finishes then...

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Microsoft sinks another data centre with Natick 2

bpfh
Coat

Well, that takes care of my storage upgrade plan.

Mine is the one with the monkey wrench, crowbar, snorkel and facemask in the pockets...

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Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

bpfh

Re: Emergency Red Buttons deserve a label

My high school’s elf of safety decided that the computer classroom needed one of those red mushrooms as a master power off switch in case of fire, and so directed the maintenance bloke to install it, by the door, about 5 feet of the deck.

The computer classroom was small, 12 computers on 2 parallel rows of desks, for the students and one for the teacher, with the door at the back right of the room, desks extending left.

Anyone coming to kibbutz in the room to talk to the teacher generally came in and lent against the rear wall, or a student slinking out for a bio-break was generally followed by a sudden darkness, silence, then wailing and gnashing of teeth especially when the computers were being used to write up end of year reports and where word 6’s auto save was set to 10 minutes...

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And THIS is how you do it, Apple: Huawei shames Cupertino with under-glass sensor

bpfh
Joke

Re: Confusing .....

So nothing like "Samsung" "Galaxy" then... I don't know how much they cleaned up their act. At least when they started adding an incremental prefix it got a bit clearer then they came out with the "galaxy" "tab" range of tablets and fablets... though drop the galaxy and just use it's real name things can clear up a bit I still have no idea which one of the galaxies is the latest and greatest though today...

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Ubuntu sends crypto-mining apps out of its store and into a tomb

bpfh

Re: Got to give this punk some credit.

512 KiB? My IBM Aptiva 486 DX2 66 came with 4096 KiB as standard and I though they were being cheap bar-stewards!

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Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

bpfh

IBM 4019

Almost had one of those catch fire on me. Paper sensor through the hot roll failed, and somehow the fuzer lamp stayed on with half a dozen sheets jammed in the hot rolls. We got the support ticket about a paper jam through just as I had lined up a couple of priority desktop support requests in the same area and thought I would give it a look as I was visiting an office next door rather than sending the PSD guys to get them out of the support office and drinking our coffee, and was surprised to see smoke coming out of the air vents. Probably there just in time to stop the 1200 people at IBM Sainte Marie site from being evacuated...

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bpfh
Flame

Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

About a month ago at the Travelodge Royal Scot, about 10 minutes walk from King's Cross / Saint Pancr(e)as. Worst full English ever, but I digress.

Some of the inmates came down to breakfast, grabbed a croissant and dropped it in the conveyor belt toaster.

It jammed at the back rather than being scooted out of the front, prompting a "ehhhh, excuse me, my Croissant's stuck", followed by the cook/attendant/cleaner/washerupper/handyman trying to prise a quickly blackening croissant out the back of the toaster with 2 wooden spoons, then scooted off to find cook/attendant/cleaner/washerupper/handman #2 to come to lend a hand.

Croissant starts to ignite.

Whilst c/a/c/w/h #1 looks into the toaster at the black, smoking lump at the back, #2 drops off the mugs and plates and walks back 2 minutes later to help #1 pry the now well flaming remains of a burnt offering whose smell pleased $DEITEY, with wooden spoons and bacon tongs* from the toaster.

The whole room is now watching this unfold, starting to pack up laptops and get jackets on before the flre alarms go off, amid a pale blue, sugar and margarine scented haze.

Croissant removed, dropped into bucket. No-one thought of turning the toaster off or pulling the plug (even before they started furkling around with metal bacon tongs). No-one suggested it either, probably waiting for a big blue spark and a 50hz buzzzzert. Nothing in the end, not even a beep from the smoke detector.

So, no, maybe the conveyor belt toaster is not the way to go.

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BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

bpfh
Holmes

Re: We all recognise HP there...

www.altavista.digital.com was the search engine.

/getOffMyLawn

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Cambridge Analytica dismantled for good? Nope: It just changed its name to Emerdata

bpfh
Headmaster

Analytica

From Analysis.

Itself from greek, "Lysis", digestion and putrification; and "Anal", from the rectum.

Therefore meaning, "a rotten arsehole".

I think it suits the company.

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UK Parliament roars: Oi! Zuck! Get in here for a grilling – or you'll get a Tower of London tour

bpfh

Re: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Shorter list (ok taken out some of the CDN servers) :

facebook.com

fbcdn.net

fbcdn.com

fbsbx.com

facebook.com.edgekey.net

instagram.com

fb.com

Add those to your ublock domain filter file, though it will nuke access to FB & Instagram's front end sites too. Not that it really bothers me that much!

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Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

bpfh
Joke

Re: I think I heard this one before....

It could have been worse. They could have come from Uranus.

---> I'll get my coat...

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There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

bpfh

Re: "I did read Hamlet all the way through"

I thought it was a cigar...

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bpfh

Re: Double entendre?

I live on the South side of the Channel. A lot of Europeans believe that English humour is limited to Mr Bean which hacks me off no end. Some expressions, double entendre (which is French expresson to start with) and imaged expressions and insults fly way over peoples head.

Now back to this being a younger generation thing: in the 50’s and 60’s a series of very well known French films with the dialogs written by Michel Audiard you could almost translate word for word the insults and sayings direct into English, and they work just as well - this was just the way people spoke in those days in that environment (“film noir”). I have seen people in extasy that TF1 is playing “Les Barbouzes” one evening on tv and they can recite some of the phrases by heart and laugh around the coffee machine... but use that same expression with the same end meaning in day to day life in similar conditions (and because that same equivalent phrase is also still used in Blighty) then you will be met with blank confused stares. I still struggle to get this cognitive détachement.

Now get off my lawn, give me back my Amstrad PCW-5128.

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bpfh

Sounds like a load up of Bull Hooks.

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bpfh

I’m sorry? Who has got mites?

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OK, this time it's for real: The last available IPv4 address block has gone

bpfh

Re: "this time it's for real"

This was already being said in 1999...

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Data exfiltrators send info over PCs' power supply cables

bpfh
Coat

Re: Seeing the light

I remember reading an article about this a few years ago, and some pc/mobo manufacturers alleviated this by randomising the flashing when the HDD was being used. I don't know if this ever made it to mainstream implementation though...

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Virgin spaceplane makes maiden rocket-powered flight

bpfh
Boffin

Re: Hoist rocket to altitude, light blue touch paper, retire

LOHAN got abandoned... How about chatting up a friendly fishing boat, and setting her off in international waters?

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iOS 11.3 update throws Jamf-managed iStuffs into a loop.. into a loop.. into a loop... into a...

bpfh
Joke

JAMF?

I thought that was acronym for a Dirty Harry expresson according to Urban Dictionary...

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BOFH: Honourable misconduct

bpfh

Re: I can't help but feel...

You don’t bounce after being pushed out of a window into a skip full of CRT’s. Apparently. From what I’ve been told.

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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

bpfh

Re: S&M dyslexic?

> Dim bulb as applicant

You owe me a new keyboard! Made my morning that did !

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Mystery surrounds fate of secret satellite slung by SpaceX

bpfh

Re: Does it matter?

Don’t the yanks have an X-37 to recover that sort of thing or is it so bloody big that it’s only coming down under Newton’s gracious auspices?

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Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

bpfh

Re: Hmmm...

And a soldering iron for all the cpu’s that are welded to the mobo...

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Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

bpfh
Trollface

Suem Grabbitt and Runn ?

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As Apple fixes macOS root password hole, here's what went wrong

bpfh

From my aulde C programming days...

I thought that in C, returning 0 = success, and anything other was an error code that depended on the function, eg: 0 -> OK; 1 -> password invalid; 2 -> user not found...?

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Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

bpfh

Re: Still not too late

Hum. The legend was that the ships were designed by BaE to be cat & trap compatible IIRC... it was part of the spec (that by the pricing , they may have ignored)...

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As Google clamps down, 'Droid developer warns 'breaking day' is coming

bpfh

Re: So, No Other Google News Today, Then?

No, there is a new radiation cloud...

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Drone maker DJI left its private SSL, firmware keys open to world+dog on GitHub FOR YEARS

bpfh

And the hostname. So we can be sure it's you.

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Black Horse Down, we repeat... yes, Lloyds Bank, again

bpfh

TITSUP's?

Terrible Infrastructure Totally Stopped Usual Processes?

Temporary Inhibititing The Standard Use of Platform?

Trying Imaginatively To Stop Users Paying?

Testing Interactively The Support Unit's Protocols?

Twitter Indigation To Service Unavailability Problems?

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Fresh cotton underpants fix series of mysterious mainframe crashes

bpfh
Trollface

Re: I've personally measured 61,750ish volts on an empty, unused Styrofoam coffee cup

Ok, so do we say one Nylon Bloomer (Nb) = 85 kv ?

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Calling your redundancy programme Baccarat? Immense Bummer, Management

bpfh
Mushroom

Naming redundancy projects

I think that a company that has the time and money to hire consultants just to think up a project code name of their latest cost cutting firing plan deserves to be put through a meat grinder...

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

bpfh

Re: Training

Yep. BOFH needs more Bzzzzzert and LARTings....

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Fitbit throws fit, emits writ for outfit's non-hit, rather sh*t, 'Fitbit' kit

bpfh
WTF?

Hundreds of thousands...

That is a lot of defective gear that somehow went walkabout with no-one noticing...

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TCL vows to keep BlackBerry alive

bpfh

Re: Finally:

Are you talking about the Blackberry Priv ? :)

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Aussie bloaters gorging on junk food 'each and every day'

bpfh
Paris Hilton

Re: 'religious stretching'

That's what she said...

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Google nukes ad-blocker AdNauseam, sweeps remains out of Chrome Web Store

bpfh

Re: Take responsibility for content

Using the hosts file does not work for a lot of the ad neworks that use dynamic subdomains that change at almost every call...

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Switzerland says Uber's an employer, sends social security bill

bpfh
Paris Hilton

I is confused

OK, I personally believe that once you sign up to Uber as a driver you are strung up to their terms and conditions that can be very restrictive, but shirley if you affiliate yourself with them as an independant, you have, at on a personal level, to pay state charges as an independant... that is after all their model...? No?

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Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

bpfh
Headmaster

Re: From the original article

I always found under DOS by rebooting, hitting F8 during boot and just loading the mouse driver and keyb.sys was enough to start any game in about 600k of free memory...

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