* Posts by bpfh

346 posts • joined 26 Jan 2011

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And THIS is how you do it, Apple: Huawei shames Cupertino with under-glass sensor

bpfh
Joke

Re: Confusing .....

So nothing like "Samsung" "Galaxy" then... I don't know how much they cleaned up their act. At least when they started adding an incremental prefix it got a bit clearer then they came out with the "galaxy" "tab" range of tablets and fablets... though drop the galaxy and just use it's real name things can clear up a bit I still have no idea which one of the galaxies is the latest and greatest though today...

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Ubuntu sends crypto-mining apps out of its store and into a tomb

bpfh

Re: Got to give this punk some credit.

512 KiB? My IBM Aptiva 486 DX2 66 came with 4096 KiB as standard and I though they were being cheap bar-stewards!

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Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

bpfh

IBM 4019

Almost had one of those catch fire on me. Paper sensor through the hot roll failed, and somehow the fuzer lamp stayed on with half a dozen sheets jammed in the hot rolls. We got the support ticket about a paper jam through just as I had lined up a couple of priority desktop support requests in the same area and thought I would give it a look as I was visiting an office next door rather than sending the PSD guys to get them out of the support office and drinking our coffee, and was surprised to see smoke coming out of the air vents. Probably there just in time to stop the 1200 people at IBM Sainte Marie site from being evacuated...

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bpfh
Flame

Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

About a month ago at the Travelodge Royal Scot, about 10 minutes walk from King's Cross / Saint Pancr(e)as. Worst full English ever, but I digress.

Some of the inmates came down to breakfast, grabbed a croissant and dropped it in the conveyor belt toaster.

It jammed at the back rather than being scooted out of the front, prompting a "ehhhh, excuse me, my Croissant's stuck", followed by the cook/attendant/cleaner/washerupper/handyman trying to prise a quickly blackening croissant out the back of the toaster with 2 wooden spoons, then scooted off to find cook/attendant/cleaner/washerupper/handman #2 to come to lend a hand.

Croissant starts to ignite.

Whilst c/a/c/w/h #1 looks into the toaster at the black, smoking lump at the back, #2 drops off the mugs and plates and walks back 2 minutes later to help #1 pry the now well flaming remains of a burnt offering whose smell pleased $DEITEY, with wooden spoons and bacon tongs* from the toaster.

The whole room is now watching this unfold, starting to pack up laptops and get jackets on before the flre alarms go off, amid a pale blue, sugar and margarine scented haze.

Croissant removed, dropped into bucket. No-one thought of turning the toaster off or pulling the plug (even before they started furkling around with metal bacon tongs). No-one suggested it either, probably waiting for a big blue spark and a 50hz buzzzzert. Nothing in the end, not even a beep from the smoke detector.

So, no, maybe the conveyor belt toaster is not the way to go.

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BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

bpfh
Holmes

Re: We all recognise HP there...

www.altavista.digital.com was the search engine.

/getOffMyLawn

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Cambridge Analytica dismantled for good? Nope: It just changed its name to Emerdata

bpfh
Headmaster

Analytica

From Analysis.

Itself from greek, "Lysis", digestion and putrification; and "Anal", from the rectum.

Therefore meaning, "a rotten arsehole".

I think it suits the company.

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UK Parliament roars: Oi! Zuck! Get in here for a grilling – or you'll get a Tower of London tour

bpfh

Re: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Shorter list (ok taken out some of the CDN servers) :

facebook.com

fbcdn.net

fbcdn.com

fbsbx.com

facebook.com.edgekey.net

instagram.com

fb.com

Add those to your ublock domain filter file, though it will nuke access to FB & Instagram's front end sites too. Not that it really bothers me that much!

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Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

bpfh
Joke

Re: I think I heard this one before....

It could have been worse. They could have come from Uranus.

---> I'll get my coat...

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There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

bpfh

Re: "I did read Hamlet all the way through"

I thought it was a cigar...

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bpfh

Re: Double entendre?

I live on the South side of the Channel. A lot of Europeans believe that English humour is limited to Mr Bean which hacks me off no end. Some expressions, double entendre (which is French expresson to start with) and imaged expressions and insults fly way over peoples head.

Now back to this being a younger generation thing: in the 50’s and 60’s a series of very well known French films with the dialogs written by Michel Audiard you could almost translate word for word the insults and sayings direct into English, and they work just as well - this was just the way people spoke in those days in that environment (“film noir”). I have seen people in extasy that TF1 is playing “Les Barbouzes” one evening on tv and they can recite some of the phrases by heart and laugh around the coffee machine... but use that same expression with the same end meaning in day to day life in similar conditions (and because that same equivalent phrase is also still used in Blighty) then you will be met with blank confused stares. I still struggle to get this cognitive détachement.

Now get off my lawn, give me back my Amstrad PCW-5128.

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bpfh

Sounds like a load up of Bull Hooks.

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bpfh

I’m sorry? Who has got mites?

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OK, this time it's for real: The last available IPv4 address block has gone

bpfh

Re: "this time it's for real"

This was already being said in 1999...

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Data exfiltrators send info over PCs' power supply cables

bpfh
Coat

Re: Seeing the light

I remember reading an article about this a few years ago, and some pc/mobo manufacturers alleviated this by randomising the flashing when the HDD was being used. I don't know if this ever made it to mainstream implementation though...

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Virgin spaceplane makes maiden rocket-powered flight

bpfh
Boffin

Re: Hoist rocket to altitude, light blue touch paper, retire

LOHAN got abandoned... How about chatting up a friendly fishing boat, and setting her off in international waters?

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iOS 11.3 update throws Jamf-managed iStuffs into a loop.. into a loop.. into a loop... into a...

bpfh
Joke

JAMF?

I thought that was acronym for a Dirty Harry expresson according to Urban Dictionary...

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BOFH: Honourable misconduct

bpfh

Re: I can't help but feel...

You don’t bounce after being pushed out of a window into a skip full of CRT’s. Apparently. From what I’ve been told.

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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

bpfh

Re: S&M dyslexic?

> Dim bulb as applicant

You owe me a new keyboard! Made my morning that did !

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Mystery surrounds fate of secret satellite slung by SpaceX

bpfh

Re: Does it matter?

Don’t the yanks have an X-37 to recover that sort of thing or is it so bloody big that it’s only coming down under Newton’s gracious auspices?

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Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

bpfh

Re: Hmmm...

And a soldering iron for all the cpu’s that are welded to the mobo...

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Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

bpfh
Trollface

Suem Grabbitt and Runn ?

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As Apple fixes macOS root password hole, here's what went wrong

bpfh

From my aulde C programming days...

I thought that in C, returning 0 = success, and anything other was an error code that depended on the function, eg: 0 -> OK; 1 -> password invalid; 2 -> user not found...?

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Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

bpfh

Re: Still not too late

Hum. The legend was that the ships were designed by BaE to be cat & trap compatible IIRC... it was part of the spec (that by the pricing , they may have ignored)...

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As Google clamps down, 'Droid developer warns 'breaking day' is coming

bpfh

Re: So, No Other Google News Today, Then?

No, there is a new radiation cloud...

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Drone maker DJI left its private SSL, firmware keys open to world+dog on GitHub FOR YEARS

bpfh

And the hostname. So we can be sure it's you.

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Black Horse Down, we repeat... yes, Lloyds Bank, again

bpfh

TITSUP's?

Terrible Infrastructure Totally Stopped Usual Processes?

Temporary Inhibititing The Standard Use of Platform?

Trying Imaginatively To Stop Users Paying?

Testing Interactively The Support Unit's Protocols?

Twitter Indigation To Service Unavailability Problems?

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Fresh cotton underpants fix series of mysterious mainframe crashes

bpfh
Trollface

Re: I've personally measured 61,750ish volts on an empty, unused Styrofoam coffee cup

Ok, so do we say one Nylon Bloomer (Nb) = 85 kv ?

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Calling your redundancy programme Baccarat? Immense Bummer, Management

bpfh
Mushroom

Naming redundancy projects

I think that a company that has the time and money to hire consultants just to think up a project code name of their latest cost cutting firing plan deserves to be put through a meat grinder...

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

bpfh

Re: Training

Yep. BOFH needs more Bzzzzzert and LARTings....

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Fitbit throws fit, emits writ for outfit's non-hit, rather sh*t, 'Fitbit' kit

bpfh
WTF?

Hundreds of thousands...

That is a lot of defective gear that somehow went walkabout with no-one noticing...

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TCL vows to keep BlackBerry alive

bpfh

Re: Finally:

Are you talking about the Blackberry Priv ? :)

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Aussie bloaters gorging on junk food 'each and every day'

bpfh
Paris Hilton

Re: 'religious stretching'

That's what she said...

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Google nukes ad-blocker AdNauseam, sweeps remains out of Chrome Web Store

bpfh

Re: Take responsibility for content

Using the hosts file does not work for a lot of the ad neworks that use dynamic subdomains that change at almost every call...

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Switzerland says Uber's an employer, sends social security bill

bpfh
Paris Hilton

I is confused

OK, I personally believe that once you sign up to Uber as a driver you are strung up to their terms and conditions that can be very restrictive, but shirley if you affiliate yourself with them as an independant, you have, at on a personal level, to pay state charges as an independant... that is after all their model...? No?

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Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

bpfh
Headmaster

Re: From the original article

I always found under DOS by rebooting, hitting F8 during boot and just loading the mouse driver and keyb.sys was enough to start any game in about 600k of free memory...

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Airbus flies new plane for the first time

bpfh
FAIL

It was due to emissions that the flying crowbar was cancelled. Ejecting bits of the aircraft's nuclear reactor engine downwind of the flightpath was seen as a good thing over enemy territory but not while it was cruising over friendly airspace on the way there...

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Five-a-day energy drink habit turned chap's eyes yellow, urine dark, caused anorexia

bpfh

"Jesus load of caffeine"?

Jesus load of sugar more likely... I've had swiss coffee with cream and 2 sugars in a goblet that contains 3 times the caffeine than monsterockbull... Same energy boost. Tastes better, does not disolve your teeth. Cheaper too...

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Apple's Breaxit scandal: Frenchman smashes up €50,000 of iThings with his big metal balls

bpfh

They can compel

> French private "security" guards don't have the right to search you or compel you to accompany them anywhere.

No, but they will restrain you until the police turn up, then sort out the legalities later, and if they did stop you from / after commiting a crime, then they were helping to uphold the law and they won't have a blemish against their name.

Also, they can compel you to leave the property or refuse you access to a property - even a shopping mall - for example if you refuse to let them glance into your bags... Refuse to comply then you get nicked for trespassing!

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The server's down. At 3AM. On Christmas. You're drunk. So you put a disk in the freezer

bpfh
Trollface

Re: >Silly us: we blew a Christmas On-Call story months before the day.

And there was me thinking that it was when Jesus made the easter bunny lay chocolate eggs... or was that one for Easter?

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Ad flog Plus: Adblock Plus now an advertising network, takes cash to broker web banners

bpfh

Re: Wouldn't take much for someone to Copy and Paste the AdBlock concept

uBlock did this ages ago along with a handful of others...

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US Marine Corps to fly F-35s from HMS Queen Lizzie as UK won't have enough jets

bpfh

Re: They should save time...

The French don't have Super Hornets. They have marinised (marinaded?) versions of the Rafale - they can land on the US carriers too.... and they don't cost as much as F35's either...

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McAfee-the-man wants McAfee-the-brand, Chipzilla says no

bpfh
Paris Hilton

Already tried - and failed - in the fasion industry

Ines de la Fressange started a fashion design company, in her name and trademarked it. One management buy-out later, Ines de la Fressange-Person gets ousted from the company, started another fashion company in her own name. Ines de la Fresange-company sued her, and after a series of counter sueballs, the court ruled that she had set up her name as a trademark to the company she trademarked it to, and lost her rights to that name when she left the company. The last I remember, she went back and renamed her new company "Ines"...

So given the crap that Intel has foisted on us in McAffee's name, and given that there is already a TV channel called "Dave", why not just found an IT firm called "John"?

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L0phtCrack's back! Crack hack app whacks Windows 10 trash hashes

bpfh

Re: Good password selection

Yep. One whole verse of a certain pub singer's song to open my password manager. All are randomly generated 20+ alphanumerical character passwords except for the social security web access that is limited to 10 numbers :(

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Penetration tech: BAE Systems' new ammo for Our Boys and Girls

bpfh

Wooden core on a lead or copper bullet. Would mushroom out nicely when shooting through the Indian sub-continent if you were working in the East Indian Company's private army...

Of course though, the wooden core was sterlilised - unclean wood splinters could give an enemy tetanos after being shot, and we would not want that would we now, old boy? Us British are above that sort of unsportsmanlike behaviour!

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SETI searchers: We still haven't found what we're looking for

bpfh
WTF?

"Soviet" military satellite?

If the Soviet Union fell apart back into Russia in 1991, how long has this "Soviet" piece of hardware been orbiting above our bonces unawares?

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Big Red alert: Oracle's MICROS payment terminal biz hacked

bpfh
Joke

POS Terminals

That term always made me smile, even after I learned that it actuallly meant "point of sale" :D

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Windows 10 still free, even the Anniversary Update, if you're crass

bpfh

Re: Missing option in survey

Even Windows ME ?

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Samsung spills beans on mystery username, password emails to devs

bpfh

Re: Are you sure ?

I did the same.... Then I started thinking with transactions! Or backing up critical tables! (Can't always be done I agree...)

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The Reg Coding competition – 10 times as hard as the last one!

bpfh

Some of the specs a missing...

- Is the data file supplied on the command line or will it be present in the same folder as the script?

- What is the file encoding of the input and output file? ASCII? ANSI? UTF-x? EBCDIC?

- What end of line marker can be expcted? \n \r\n ?

- Reagan & REAGAN are the same person? Can we expect a unique key of 1 name per event?

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Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

bpfh
Trollface

Re: <3

BAE is British Aerospace, no?

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