* Posts by J. R. Hartley

466 posts • joined 23 Jan 2011

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Nokia’s big comeback: Watches, bathroom scales, a 3310 PR gimmick, Snake, erm...

J. R. Hartley
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Shite

I knew this would be nothing like the 3310. Wake me up when SonyEricsson remarry and re-release the w810i, or even better the w995 which is still my favourite phone of all time.

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BlackBerry's comeback: El Reg gets its claws on the QWERTY KEYone

J. R. Hartley
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The last chance saloon

I was about to say I hope Blackberry make a comeback, but the company is dead from the neck down. Is the plan just to license the name out to the highest bidder?

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Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Well...

Hahahaha. Is a soo salty.

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Global IPv4 address drought: Seriously, we're done now. We're done

J. R. Hartley
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You mean IPv8

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Vinyl, filofaxes – why not us too, pleads Nokia

J. R. Hartley
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"Homage"

It's going to be shit, isnt it.

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Brave VMs to destroy themselves, any malware they find on HP's new laptop

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Very fancy but will it work?

No. That cunt owes me a tenner.

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J. R. Hartley
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Very fancy but will it work?

Probably not.

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Verisign probed by US Dept of Justice over $135m .web auction

J. R. Hartley
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Verisign are scum

Absolute scum

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Microsoft's device masterplan shows it's still fighting Apple

J. R. Hartley
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The future for MS is grim

I tried Win10 for a month. I tried. I really did. But I have just reinstalled 7, and when they finally kill it I will probably move to Linux.

I fucking hate the thought of Linux, but Win10 scares the fucking shit out of me. It's not an operating system, it's a cunt.

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Apple CEO: 'Best ever' numbers would be better if we'd not fscked up our iPhone supply

J. R. Hartley
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Paul O'Grady's let himself go.

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Avaya's bankruptcy protection is a 'good thing,' says Europe North veep

J. R. Hartley
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It's the Nortel factor...

They're fucked.

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Oracle lied: Database giant is axing hundreds of staff – at least 450 in its hardware div

J. R. Hartley
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Oracle really are scum

They really are.

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Avaya files for bankruptcy

J. R. Hartley
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The curse of Nortel

Could Nortel be the next Commodore?

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Strike January: Fujitsu staff gearing up for more industrial action – Unite

J. R. Hartley
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Bastards

Solidarity to my comrades in Belfast

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Virgin surprises market by hopping into bed with BT for MVNO love-in

J. R. Hartley
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BT and NTL are both ghastly.

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Microsoft's Blue Screen of Death dead in latest Windows 10 preview

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Microsoft creators a Bloater Edition?

Dunno, but the message will start with:

"Free support is coming to an end"

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How the NYE leap second clocked Cloudflare – and how a single character fixed it

J. R. Hartley
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Re: There is the theory of the moebius...

When we reach that point, whatever happens will happen again.

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J. R. Hartley
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There is the theory of the moebius...

A twist in the fabric of space, where time becomes a loop.

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Flight simulator sets fire to airport

J. R. Hartley
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"The cause of the incident was likely a technical fault"

I'll say.

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Prez Obama expels 35 Russian spies over election meddling

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Evidence it was the Russians what dunnit

No, he's taking a stand against the terrorist state of Israel for the genocide they commit against Palestinian children on a daily basis. Of course, it's nowhere near enough and he should have done it 8 years ago. Thankfully Israel's days are numbered though.

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WANdisco scores $1m self-driving car deal under back-from-the-dead CEO

J. R. Hartley
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Shitting crikey

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USPTO: Hi, Ask Me Anything. Reddit: Can we trademark 'AMA'? USPTO: No.

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Considering that list

I believe you are referring to Network Attached Storage.

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Crim charges slapped on copyright trolls who filmed porn, torrented it then sued downloaders

J. R. Hartley
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This should have worked...

How did they get caught? Surely they didn't upload it from their own computers? Rookie mistake, scumbags.

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It's now illegal in the US to punish customers for posting bad web reviews

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Hmm

Surely it's always been illegal to put poo in a customer's food though?

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Yahoo! says! hackers! stole! ONE! BEELLION! user! accounts!

J. R. Hartley
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Ah!

Ahaha ahahahhahaha ahaahhahahahahhahhahahahhshhahahahhaahhahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahhhhahahahhahahhaahhaahah

And so forth.

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Ransomware scum offer free decryption if you infect two mates

J. R. Hartley
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Say what you like

But that's impressive.

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The Dread Server BlackBerry Enterprise is no more

J. R. Hartley
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Gotta hand it to Blackberry

They've really managed to 'turn the company round' in record time. Irving Gould would be proud.

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Sigh... 'Hundreds of thousands' of... sigh, web CCTV cams still at risk of... sigh, hijacking

J. R. Hartley
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This is bad

And it's going to get worse before it gets better.

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Could this be you? Really Offensive Security Engineer sought by Facebook

J. R. Hartley
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I'll do it

I'm an absolute cunt

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UK's new Snoopers' Charter just passed an encryption backdoor law by the backdoor

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Well...

She's a fucking cunt

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'Mirai bots' cyber-blitz 1m German broadband routers – and your ISP could be next

J. R. Hartley
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I have a 2860 with all the fancy stuff turned off. Apart from UPnP, I just leave that on.

/Joke

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J. R. Hartley
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...And that's why I use Dreytek.

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Melbourne man arrested for broadcasting fake messages to pilots

J. R. Hartley
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Yes, that's right, I had lasagna.

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J. R. Hartley
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I'd just like to say good luck. We're all counting on you.

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Jingle bells, RM tells, some staff to go away... via Skype

J. R. Hartley
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Re: 8 inch floppy

It's because of the militarised designs that are pupil proof.

Won't be around for much longer though.

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J. R. Hartley
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Do tell more!!

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Dyn Dyn Dyn – we have a buyer: Oracle gobbles Internet of Things DDoS victim

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Business process...

0) collect underpants

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TfL to track Tube users in stations by their MAC addresses

J. R. Hartley
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Bollocks

This is only the beginning.

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TalkTalk teen hacker pleads guilty as firm reveals £22m profit jump

J. R. Hartley
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Re: It was...

*an? That's how I would have done it.

/pedant

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J. R. Hartley
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Gordon Ramsey's let himself go

...oh

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The hated Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal will soon be dead. Yay?

J. R. Hartley
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Thank fuck!

That was an absolute cunt of a thing.

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Kotkin: Why Trump won

J. R. Hartley
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You get the politicians you deserve.

Simply don't fuck Bernie Sanders over and Trump wouldn't have won.

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Celeb-backed music TV phallus Electric Jukebox finally ready for launch

J. R. Hartley
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What a load of bollocks.

As per title.

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McDonald's sues Italian city for $20m after being burger-blocked

J. R. Hartley
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TTIP

Shit like this is why TTIP must be prevented at all costs.

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Siri, clone yourself and dive into this Samsung Galaxy S8 smartphone

J. R. Hartley
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Pocket -> iPhone -> bin

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Fujitsu staffers strike over pay, job security and pensions

J. R. Hartley
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Anybody striking in Belfast?

I'll bring you round some sandwiches and tea.

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Twitter trolls are destroying democracy, warn eggheads

J. R. Hartley
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"the more politicians tried to actively interact with their constituents, the more abuse they faced."

Yes. And?

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El Paso city bungs $3.2m to email crooks pretending to be bosses

J. R. Hartley
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Shitting crikey!!

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20 years to get Amiga Workbench 3.1 update, and only a fortnight to get first patch

J. R. Hartley
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Re: Atari is better because it has MIDI

@Abelsoul

I'll relieve you of that Amiga gear if you like?

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BlackBerry design boss tells El Reg: 'We're not getting out of phones'

J. R. Hartley
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The title is no longer required.

They're in denial.

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