* Posts by Only me!

226 posts • joined 14 Jan 2011


There's no 'My' in Office, Microsoft insists with new productivity hub

Only me!
Big Brother

"you do, of course, need your own Microsoft account to access the goodies."

LOL. Do you really think you own your account....you should be thanking them for granting temp access to you!

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

Only me!


Obviously sex toys do not go down very well at CES.

They only allow men to have pop up stands!!!

Ready for Glasto-net? Cheap, local low-power networks up for grabs in the UK

Only me!

Local Network for local people

IF the costs are going to be so low, I wonder what the options are for setting up a local ISP for say your 50-100 closest friends....i.e. next door....all contribute to the one network. 50*£15-£20 per month is a tidy sum and may allow this to happen.

It may get over the FTTC.....set up the base station right next to the cabinet....one can dream, it is Xmas after all

In news that will shock absolutely no one, America's cellphone networks throttle vids, strangle rival Skype

Only me!


Dear ISP

I pay you to deliver xGB at x speed.....it is that simple....if I want more I will pay and you deliver....it is that simple....if I go over the limit, cut me off.....but just deliver xGB at x speed..because that is what I have paid you to do!

Oh and while I am on about it....Ajit Pai ....no, no...do not get me started, just, just.... */ Hits head on keyboard so hard I now need to go to A&E /*

Love and kisses

All internet users

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal firm's original directors rejoin

Only me!

This is taking longer to play out than......

Loading the original games....remember have loads of games on a C90 tape, because you could not afford to buy a few C30's.....loading them was very hit and miss! Unlike this saga....at least some of it work in the end!!!

Ok it is Friday so it must be beer o'clock for all those that member the good old days of 80's!

Lucky, lucky, Westminster residents: Who better to look after your housing benefits than Capita?

Only me!

Fewer Things Better

That makes me chuckle....I do not know of one thing they do well now.

I do know lots of things they do really badly!

Fewer things better......if I read that the correct way that means, they aim to get worse. i.e. We will do fewer things and less well than we are now!

Have you ever, ever felt like this? Have strange things happened? Is high-speed data going round the twist?

Only me!

100 Fold - Nope!

That is not what the numbers sate! 100 times yes!

300,000 BT pensioners await Court of Appeal pension scheme ruling

Only me!


Holland (I think) have made future pensions better off in one stoke. They band the 1% a year and made it max £x a year.

Thus over 50 years....they made people 1% a year better off.....which adds up to a lot of money!

Do I hear two million dollars? Apple-1 fossil goes on the block, cassettes included

Only me!

Sinclair Calculator Collection

My Sinclair calculator collection will be worth more than you Psion ever will......(Well to be it will do and that is all that matters to me!!!)

It must be beer o'clock by now.....time to stop reading Le Reg...cough I mean leave work!

Emma's Diary fined £140k for flogging data on over a million new mums to Labour Party

Only me!

UK's 11 main political parties

11 MAIN parties......wow is there really that many of them?

Somehow there just seems to be 2.5 and the 0.5 bit is the only thing that changes.

For all the excitement, Pie may be Android's most minimal makeover yet – thankfully

Only me!

Re: It's a Wonderful Life

Bluetooth...ok very bad at the start, but has been around now for years.....so.....

Why do some devices manage to work quickly and flawlessly with loads of devices, yet others fail? Simple poor design, hardware short cuts or software being crap! Simple as.

By now it should work, quickly, flawlessly and well....across all devices...if your company ties to over do it with its own complications then stuff you.......a LOT of companies are making things harder to work together now than in the 1980's......is it just because they can? But our headphones they work "better" with out device? for example......all of a sudden it works!

Apple takes an axe to its App Affiliate Program

Only me!
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What a nice firm

So all the little websites that helped make the Apple Apps Store what it is are just thrown to the four winds....after years of promoting the company.

What a lovely company to have as a "Partner"


That said, all the big players try and use the same process......get them hooked with a good deal, make it worse, stop the payments.

UK privacy watchdog to fine Facebook 18 mins of profit (£500,000) for Cambridge Analytica

Only me!
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How much did the investigation cost?

I bet the real cost of the investigation cost was over £500,000 and some twonk in a government office thinks £500,000 is a lot of money!

They broke the rules....they CERTAINLY knew they were braking the rules....they CONTINUE to break the rules.....so why let them trade in the UK, EU?

Only a good hard slap up the money grabbing box will get them to change....even then only to the minimum requirement. So be very, very careful about what you state as the minimum.

One place to start is to make opting out just as easy as opting in. And if you opt in, they tell you who is allowed to slurp and for what...IN PLAIN English, which is not an easy thing to do.

Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU

Only me!

Re: Brexit means Brexit

May be it does.....but the EU expect the UK to pay for all the projects they were involved with., so the Eu gets it.....this we pay and get nothing? Leave is leave, but to me leave is take what you paid for.......stay in you keep what you paid for and what you will pay for........mmmm

Microsoft has another crack at fixing Chrome problems in Windows 10

Only me!
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Downdate not Update

The update was shocking BSOD every few mins...I was unable to work....by the time I had everything opened up and connected it would die again....and I am using a NEW SURFACE which really says how bad it is when MS hardware becomes useless....best fix I found for Chrome is:

"C:\Program Files (x86)\Google\Chrome\Application\chrome.exe" -disable-direct-composition

Anyway...fingers crossed it has not died in the last week......wonder if I can remove the -disable-direct-composition yet?

GDPR forgive us, it's been one month since you were enforced…

Only me!

Why is it not>>>

Opting in....BIG button PRESS HERE for your INSTANT GRATIFICATION!

Opt out.....here have x pages, links, making it almost impossible. (That is NOT a choice!)

Make it

1. Opt in

2. Opt in to "buy only" (I am sure there are other reasons that apply) and sod off (Option 1 covers buying stuff)

3. Sod off but I know I have to accept random ads, because you need the money...but no more ads than the ones that opted for option 1.

4. Down to you as a person....block ads...delete cookies, etc.etc....as it is now

Who wants to cram some BOFH skills into their brains? How about from, er, Google?

Only me!

Re: An actual BOFH cert.

Sign me up of BOFH cert.....but it better be from a Centre of learning on a Center!

Otherwise I might have to put things in to practice precertification......and no one would want that to happen.....sorry was that an open window?

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Only me!

Re: Hahashahahahahahaahah!

I see one PR person from Atari is reading the comments LOL

(one down vote for you fab comment as I type this)

Strip Capita of defence IT contract unless things improve – Brit MPs

Only me!

Why stop at defence?

They should be striped of a lot more.....every time I encounter them, the project costs 3 times what it should....and then there are the delays on going costs for the smallest things, etc....they are all the same Capita, BT, Serco, etc......

Former FBI boss Comey used private email for official business – DoJ

Only me!

Beer is the answer on National Beer Day

If I have enough beer, I might get my head around why he did this......but I will have forgotten by the morning (for security purposes)!!!!

How Google's Smart Compose for Gmail works – and did it fake its robo-caller demo?

Only me!

Sod the story!

That pic is fabulous!!!!

Can the frog sue Google of colour infringement/copyright......or anything really :-)

It has more chance than the monkey ever did of winning with the selfie!

HMRC opens consultation to crack down on off-payroll working in private sector

Only me!

Sides of a coin

I am a contractor, as such as undertake project work....when completed I hand over to a business as usual team and leave (Thanking my luck stars I am out of there). My contract is to implement, there is no permanent role for what I do, I therefore fall outside IR35. (I know there are many other boxes o tick, but I am trying to keep it simple). When the client, as they often do, try and tell me how to do what I do, I ask them what experience they have and why do they need, if they know how to do it better than me.....on a couple of times I have walked on that basis. To be fair most of the time they understand I offer something at a cost that they do not require long term...I do the complex stuff and hand over a system that an employee can then look after.

I know A LOT of people that claimed they were contractors but were "Filling" permanent roles. i.e. If they were not there a full time employee would be.....now that is inside IR35....if they need to pay more to get a temp person in with the skills they need then the employer should pay the premium and treat the person in the permanent role like an employee when they are there!

Simples in my book.....I have no problem working in the public sector on that basis....I have even worked on contracts they wanted inside IR35 until I asked, some very direct and simple questions, at which point they moved it to outside IR35.

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

Only me!

Enjoy you trip in space and time

Enjoy you trip in space and time

Age checks for UK pr0n site visitors on ice as regulator cobbles together some guidance

Only me!

Gov and modern tech....not a match made in heaven!

It is like trying to ban electric from the power supply because someone used it to power their PC for hacking!

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Only me!

Re: Script for Leave

Waterproof (beerproof) pockets and a long straw for siphoning it off sir.

Only me!

Script for Leave

Must get a copy to compare with the one I am currently using.....just to see if I can make efficiency improvements. The management are always asking for efficiency improvements.

Mines the one with the beer in the pocket!

AccuWeather: Our app slurped your phone's location via Wi-Fi but we like totally didn't use it

Only me!

Big Biz....and BIG Biz

So if a "small" biz collects data OH panic..............Small biz, they are millions and a bit of change

Billions................and millions as change

Google, Facebook, Microsoft......that's fine


Try opting out, never that simple...............try and opt of ads!

Sysadmin Day 2017: Still time to get the beers in

Only me!

Why have this on a quite day, when I can actually get something done?

Great ... why do we have this day on one of the quietest days in the office over the summer....about the only day where you can get work done!!!!

Anyway, I am sure they will understand .... pub o'clock....count me in

Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

Only me!
Paris Hilton

Re: Just sayin'

What does Paris think of who owns the pictures?

Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser

Only me!

Re: Coming soon to the UK...

It is really important that we protect our citizens.......nice to see the next UK and USA laws are been written by Russia and China.....three cheers for our glorious leaders!

Brit prosecutors ask IT suppliers to fight over £3 USB cable tender

Only me!


I think all the small people should consider a "blind" biding process, to see where the floor is in the procurement.....so all tender away.

Think I will start mine at £30,000 as it is a special one off procurement, which therefore means I have to put a specialist on the job who will require a manager and project manager....project plans will need to be drawn up and a factory visit to China. All very essential.

One-third of Brit IT projects on track to fail

Only me!

I am yet to work on any project that has not had all of these factors in play......

1. Significant changes to the project brief

2. Unrealistic timeframes

3. A incomplete understanding of the risks

4. Projects not resourced with the right people

5. Lack of a clearly defined goals

6. Overrun budgets

On the bright side, it keeps me in work. As I type I am just about to commence on yet another "Please help us fix it" gig.....only after points 1 to 6 do you any form of reality on a project.

Edinburgh Uni email snafu tells students they won't be graduating

Only me!
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Re: three or four years of sex, booze and drugs...

Well done....more people need to put back in, what they got out.

Everyone says they paid tax for x years.....and they are now entitled. That was a golden era! (Maybe fairer after post war?)

But now we have spent the money people put in and young have to pay for themselves the old and a house (which they cannot), but odd how they can pay for the rent that pays for the house!!!!

House deposits are killing them as are the student debts.......or will be....credit cards are a whole other world of pain.

IBM asks contractors to take a pay cut

Only me!


Maybe she can helicopter in some help later!

Auntie sh!tcans BBC Store after 18 months

Only me!

What I buy and do not own

That's the problem, everyone wants you to "buy" so you think you own it, or rent it, so you think you own it....but you own nothing, if/when they pull the plug.


TV Shows


Let's get going on it, most people do not "own" their phone until the 2 year contract is up....then get a new one, so it is never really theirs, if they fail to pay every month the tel company can get the phone back.

People think they own cars....they are leased, if the lease company goes bang, someone is entitled to come and collect the car...after x years they come and get it anyway...it's not yours.

Everyone has adopted the Gillette model.....if you do not pay monthly, then it ceases to be useful and you have nothing,

Even DVDs they will change format, stopping sellnig DVD players and you have no choice but to buy the new format when your machine goes wrong......video anyone?

Facebook fake news: Sort it out yourself, readers

Only me!

Re: The rules people actually use

Most maybe....

But what about those who read, digest, investigate, think...ponder...(Greek words input as you choose)

Some people..."some" actually try and think about what is best for society, not just them and there mates.....but everyone.

Let's all take on the values of Norway and see what happens.......

Problem.....it will take decades to convert everyone from all sides!!!!!

EU tosses Europe's cookies... popups

Only me!

Who then reads in detail the terms and conditions?

The law was daft and has made the internet an annoying place to visit, especially on smaller screens.

That said, they should craft something that allows cookies, but if certain details are to be passed on, then permission required.....but that would be a law way to complex for anyone to write in a way that people could cope with.

If you want a bigger laugh .... the internet was not built for children....


The article by definition implies adults do know how and what the data that part with is used for.....well of course they do!

Bookmakers William Hill under siege from DDoS internet flood

Only me!

Big picture

If something like this goes down. You have to ask why and the motivation for doing such a thing.

It costs money to knock it out.

1. Political/state sponsor? (Make x country look bad, because we can)

2. Who gets to gain most? (mmm...other betting sites? Someone who put a VERY large bad bet on)

3. US gaming industry? The ones that have helped form a law where only US firms are allowed in the US, but they can go where they want.

4. PFY? - Just trying to make the coffee

5. BOFH? - Just because - By they way the IT budget needs to increase, because of security risks.

America has one month to stop the FBI getting its global license to hack

Only me!

Laws and laws

If it is against my countries laws to hack my computer.....then it is not allowed,

As long as a country sticks to human rights, then I consider them to be able to make such a law and enforce it.

If you are going to do this stuff (they all do it) do it in the dark world of the the secret agent....and do not try and arrest a teenager for doing something stupid, save it for the real stuff like killing people and wars!

FBI overpaid $999,900 to crack San Bernardino iPhone 5c password

Only me!

True, but then you have to pay the FBI lot for handing the phone over, management, the PR team, the management of the consultancy firm, the mangers, directors, coffee makers.....then finally some who knows some stuff, but knows more people that know more stuff, the people to review what was found (or not) and after more stuff someone went to purchase some electronics, which the people that know what they are doing can use to crack it.

Must be somewhere between £100 and $1,000,000 project!

Lawyers...fees are also added, to all of the above, because they are as cheap as chips....

Samsung wants your exploding Galaxy Note 7. Have a new one instead

Only me!


How do I download the update, so my battery only charges to 60% if I have powered it down and am not allowed to turn it on?

a) Am I tech savvy for turning it off

b) Am I Tech savvy for downloading the update

Discuss......head, check, hand, check.....slap!

Regulators, take note: Tencent is now Asia's biggest company

Only me!

How much money have they made so far?

What's the realistic projection?

Is it valued that high so Faceslap cannot afford to buy it?

NHS slaps private firm Health IQ for moving Brits' data offshore

Only me!

Change Control

Now I both love and hate change control and always push for "risk balance", I deal with small software houses, but they delver critical bespoke stuff. So it is just impossible to enforce enterprise governance.....but even me pushing the limits always asks wheres the data and what are you doing with it!? I then ask for a nice picture to show me.

So if this happens what the F$^% is going on?

End contact, sack the people involved in procuring the contract.

Lessons learned:

Understand what the heck you are asking for in the first place!

Go for a beer, it's a Bank Holiday weekend here :-)

A USB stick as a file server? We've done it!

Only me!


Just why is the USB 2.0????

I would buy it if it was an update product! But I am not spending a ton on old tech mashed up with a bit of funky stuff.

Just want to hit my head against a wall when I see stuff like this, so close, yet somehow they make a very fundamental mistake by saying "We can save 0.05p in production costs if we use the old stuff."

Google broke its own cloud by doing two updates at once

Only me!

Re: #Cloudfail

mmm.....just use the cloud for your internet presence.


That is many companies, POS and there main core business!

Cox stiffed for $25m after letting subscribers pirate music online

Only me!

Cars and Roads

If someone builds a road and someone speeds along it, is it the road builders fault or the car builders fault? No the person driving the car gets the fine (After killing someone due to high speed). Both the road builder and car builder could have put things in place to prevent and/or detect the activity.

So build a digital road (Internet connection), where people buy their own car (PC) and somehow it is the ISP's fault that people speed (Download crap)

Yep all seems equal and good here.

IoT puts assembly language back on the charts

Only me!


Soooo, complicated I was having fun with it over 30 years a go, creating moving graphics to go in time with the music for a night club....on a Spectrum!!!! They ran it till the Spectrum died a few years later, possible due to smoke inhalation!

*The need was because most songs did not have a video to go with it!"

Cloudian clobbers car drivers with targeted ads

Only me!


This is not for companies selling stuff, this is for the ad agencies selling the same space 6 times!

Microsoft and LinkedIn: What the CEOs are planning

Only me!


Is it really worth 50% more than the share.....£175 per user?

and it is chucking £166M in losses?


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