* Posts by Ikoth

26 posts • joined 9 Dec 2010

UK third worst in Europe for fibre-to-the-premises – report

Ikoth

We moved house last October, to an area where all six cabinets on the local exchange have FTTC. Apart from the one serving the new house. Openreach's "When can I get fibre" page said the cab was to get FTTP "within six months". I thought that acceptable and so we moved.

Over the succeeding months, my daily checks saw the wait time come down to four, then three months. In May, we even had BT contractors in the road pulling the fibre into the ducts. Then, in July the availability checker jumped back up to "December 2017".

In frustration I contacted the local MP who promised to take the issue up with BT. Several weeks later he replied, forwarding BT's response which was just a regurgitation of the information I had included in my complaint, and a closing paragraph which amounted to "screw you, we'll finish the job when we're ready".

It comes to something when the local MP can't even get a meaningful response out of these b4$t4rd5.

Having also suffered extensively at BT / OpenReach's hands when I used to manage a 15 site, MPLS network, I am no longer able to articulate how much I loathe and despise them and their de facto infrastructure monopoly. I sincerely hope they're first against the wall, come the glorious day.

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PC repair chap lets tech support scammer log on to his PC. His Linux PC

Ikoth

Depending on my disposition on the particular day, I either unload a torrent of abuse that would make Malcolm Tucker blush - I find it very cathartic; or I explain that I don't have a computer, or a phone or electricity as I live in a tent. In a field.

A variation on the last one, for the "you had an accident" scumbags, is to agree that it was indeed a very serious accident, in which I died. The longest period of confused silence before they hang up is currently seven seconds.

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European F-35 avionics to be overhauled at Sealand, says UK.gov

Ikoth

The site is literally 1/3 of a mile "over the border" into wales, less than five miles from the city of Chester, and three and a half miles from the massive Airbus factory at Hawarden. And if that's still too parochial for you, its 12 miles from the center of Liverpool.

The western side of the site has been sold & cleared, but the eastern side is still there. It looks like a set from 28 Days Later and needs some tlc from an industrial sized strimmer, but there are plenty of offices, sheds and other assorted buildings there. I drive past it most days.

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Whatever happened to ... Nest?

Ikoth

"thinkfluencer" ?

Oh @*%$ off!

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Blah Blah blah ... I don't care! To hell with your tech marketing bull

Ikoth

Re: Evil Personified

"B Ark" as in Golgafrinchan B Ark from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

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Ikoth
Devil

Evil Personified

I have long maintained that Marketeers, rather than money, are the root of all evil.

B Ark fodder, the lot of em.

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Last living NEANDERTHALS discovered in JERSEY – boffins

Ikoth
Happy

...NEANDERTHALS discovered... on JERSEY SHORE...

No shit?

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SkyDrive on par with C: Drive in Windows 8.1

Ikoth

Further proof that one cannot polish a turd.

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Your own £19 Pocket Spacecraft could be FOUND ON THE MOON

Ikoth

Why bother? There's still a few square miles of Earth not yet buried under all our crap. Not many though.

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Google Glass will SELF-DESTRUCT if flogged on eBay

Ikoth

Apple

I'll wait for the Apple version thanks.

They won't be as authoritarian or draconian as...... Oh wait.....!

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Pop's Chubby Checker condemns use of Palm to check pocket-chubby

Ikoth
Unhappy

Re: The *real* reason he's suing.

I suspect the royalty revenue must be drying up.

0
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Victims of 'revenge pr0n' sue GoDaddy, smut site

Ikoth

Nice takedown El Reg, nice takedown...

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The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later.

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John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

Ikoth
Facepalm

Box of (jungle?) frogs

Mad as a

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Opposable thumbs for FISTS, not finesse, say bioboffins

Ikoth
Unhappy

QED

Friday & Saturday nights in most town centers.

2
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Yo, storage geeks: Fancy a bit of scale-out fun time?

Ikoth

Interfacing

How fully featured are these appliances? For example, could I use one as a target device for testing SNMP based systems management tools, would MIBs work properly without the physical tin being present?

0
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LOHAN slips BRA over BOOBIES in ballocket backronym buffoonery

Ikoth
Go

BINT

Brain

Instrumentation

Navigation

Telemetry

1
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Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

Ikoth

Debenhams...

... Reassuringly patronising.

0
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UK iPad Mini FRENZY: Queues stretch SEVERAL FEET from till

Ikoth

So it begins...

...iApathy

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Rolling robot avatar trumps telecommuting

Ikoth
FAIL

Mad...

...as a box of frogs.

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Microsoft pops preview of 'biggest, most ambitious' Office yet

Ikoth
FAIL

Historical Precedent for Metro, etc?

Yup - Emperor's New Clothes. Wonder how long it'll take em to realise their collective ass is showing?

2
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Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

Ikoth
Devil

Vivisection

Stop using animals for testing drugs, cosmetics, etc; use convicts instead.

0
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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Ikoth

Hell Comes To FrogTown

Unspeakably bad.

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Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

Ikoth

Wake Up Call,,,

Yes the IT industry. The ENTIRE infrastructure needs redesigning to be inherently secure and by that I mean everything - protocols, hardware, software, all of it.

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Ikoth
FAIL

Wake up call...

I think the point that everyone is spectacularly missing is that the entire IT industry needs to rapidly get its shit together.

The recent spate of high profile security breeches just prove what many of us have suspected for a long time - the entire framework upon which online security is based is fundamentally flawed and its high time the big brains out there came up with a radical new approach to protecting networked systems, and I don't just mean employing increasingly illegible "Captcha" boxes.

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San Francisco BOFH must cough up $1.5m

Ikoth
WTF?

How does that work then?

"Hello? Mr Bank Manager? Oh, Hi. Look, I've got into a spot of bother and need to borrow some money please." "Weeeellllll, about $1.5M should cover it". "Monthly income you say? Hmmm, well, I don't actually have a job at the moment, but my outgoings are really low...Hello...? Hello...?"

Joking apart, how does someone earning, what, £40k ish? pay a fine of $1.5M?

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PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

Ikoth
Pint

PARIS = PARIS

Why not embrace recursion and just call it PARIS which, or course, stands for:

Paris - Alcohol, Recumbent In Sugar

Kind of sums up your patron too...

I.

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