* Posts by caffeine addict

550 posts • joined 6 Jun 2007

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France building encrypted messaging app for politicians

caffeine addict
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Re: |matrix| ?

That's hard to say, because unfortunately noone can tell you what the matrix is.

Oh! Oh! Me, sir! Me! I know what the Matrix is! It isn't a spoon, sir! *looks smugly at colleagues planning to beat me up at playtime the pub in the carpark*

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Google accidentally reveals new swipe-happy Android UI

caffeine addict
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Re: To be honest

Every now and then I'm forced to use an iPad at work, and I must look like a fecking chimp - randomly flapping my hand across it with varying numbers of fingers, muttering "I'm sure this worked", staring at it, licking it, biting it, then finally flinging my poo at it.

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caffeine addict
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Re: ..amazingly, one-quarter ... continues to run a version... released in 2014.

The only contact you're aware of it has with the outside world is:

FTFY.

I've not kept up to date with Android Mobile, but the last few years have been littered with places where some researcher somewhere finds out that if he overinflates the tyres to 200psi to overload the anti-burst sensors, he can tap morse code onto the command line of the car's OS with the door handle; or that if he triggers the alarm at EXACTLY 01:03 then the car will listen for instructions from the Lincolnshire Poacher numbers station.

Wasn't there one a while back where you could override the braking system using the CD player because the CD Player was connected to the CANBUS?

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Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

caffeine addict
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Re: Hills Road

The entire city is a mess. Madingley Road is a traffic hazard.

Maybe the govt should give the whole lot to highways and take the relevant chunk of money from the local council.

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caffeine addict
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Whoa now...

That's Haverhill with it's porksword painter, not Cambridge. Don't go tarring us with that brush. ;)

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T-Mobile Austria stores passwords as plain text, Outlook gets message crypto, and more

caffeine addict
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Wait, what?

Do you have a cite for that, because that's f*cked up.

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Mind the gap: Men paid 18.6% more than women in Blighty tech sector

caffeine addict
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It's largely pointless, but for tech it could be actively harmful.

Imagine for a moment that 95% of tech was male 10 years ago and that women were broadly paid the same as men.

Something changes and more women start coming in to tech. The mean and median wage gap is going to stretch massively as there's a lot of young low paid women (although paid the same as their male colleagues) compared to high paid women.

Wage gap expands, girls are put off from joining the sector, overall we've failed...

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'Every little helps'... unless you want email: Tesco to kill free service

caffeine addict
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Really?

Sorry - is no-one going to mention the fact that the header image for this article is in Sainsbury's?

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What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

caffeine addict
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Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

Sir - you appear to have a hole in your pocket...

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caffeine addict
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Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

We have this fun about once a year at work when they try to add a "badwords" list to one of our products.

Each time I argue that a long list of them are perfectly valid non-"bad" words, like slag, shag, bitch, or words that are useful for reporting bad behavior, like porn.

I then argue that "salad tossing" should be added to the bad list. And since Absolute Radio censor Lou Reed, I'm going to start arguing that "head" should be added. :D

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El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

caffeine addict
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Re: Cybergumble

Didn't everything have "binaries" in the name too?

Christ - it's got to be 20 years since I've used usenet regularly. It was about 1998 when alt.fan.pratchett got too big to read completely. By 2000 my now other-half was using usenet but didn't realise it because it was under the banner Google Groups rather than a news panel in her mail client of choice.

(Actually, Google Groups was 2001 so she was probably using DejaNews for the first year I knew her)

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Hip hop-eration: Hopless Franken-beer will bring you hoppiness

caffeine addict
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Re: Whatever next?

I believe the traditional response now would end with "your mum".

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UK's London Gatwick Airport boasts of driverless vehicle trial

caffeine addict
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Re: Eliminate any pedestrian humans

We already eliminate any pedestrian humans from the taxiways by having big jet engines to Hoover them up

Unless there's a MASSIVE bag I've not seen, shirley this should be a certain brand of bagless vacuum cleaner...

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FYI: There's a cop tool called GrayKey that force unlocks iPhones. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands!

caffeine addict
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WTF?

Re: Woah! Some much tin foil, so many hats.....

this is a site for IT professionals.

Professionals? Really? Have you seen some of this lot? And I include myself in that...

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Maplin shutdown sale prices still HIGHER than rivals

caffeine addict
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Hands up, everyone who is surprised the prices are still too high?

No-one?

( Although, to be fair, comparing maplin prices to ebay is unfair. One gives you absolutely zero ongoing customer support or legal backup. And the other is ebay. )

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Age checks for UK pr0n site visitors on ice as regulator cobbles together some guidance

caffeine addict
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If a site doesn't comply, presumably the government will add the URL to the naughty list along side the pirate bay. An action countered by thousands of proxies appearing overnight and people who wanted to do naughty things using a VPN to grab the magnet link.

I wonder if anyone has any stats on how the number of torrent download bytes per month changed after TPB was "closed" to the UK...

I'd guess it make basically feck all difference. Same as these stupid laws will. I expect the LGBTQ+ community to explode if Tumblr goes behind an AVS wall. Wordpress and Blogger the same.

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Screw everything! French swingers campsite up for sale, owners 'tired'

caffeine addict
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Why is this in bootnotes? Naturism doesn't allow boots...!

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Android P will hear no evil, see no evil, support evil notches

caffeine addict
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Re: Popsicle, Piss or Poo

If you consider poo (even properly candied poo) a confectionery item, you might want to see the doctor. Just don't breathe on him.

Alternatively, you could become famous by remaking a famous video.

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Oculus Rift whiffed, VR fanbois miffed

caffeine addict
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Re: Local service, not remote service

Regardless of if it's a local or remote service, if it relies on checking a certificate that expires, it must be needing to connect to something somewhere at sometime to allow itself to run.

And it's done so that you can't run 3rd party programs.

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ESA builds air-breathing engine that works in space

caffeine addict
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Re: sustainable?

Presumably you don't need to fire this kind of thing all the time, in which case you could use relatively small solar panels that charge a battery then burst energy into the engine. If it's infrequent enough, you could angle the panels inline with the flow and accept that you would get a lot of suboptimal charging.

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caffeine addict
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Imagine speccing that "wind tunnel".

We need you to build a vacuum chamber for us.

"Okay..."

Big enough to put a satellite in.

"Okay"

And then, and you're going to love this, we need you to turn it into a wind tunnel.

"Oka- what?"

We need you to make it a really powerful wind tunnel too. One to simulate 7.8km/s."

"Back up. A wind tunnel in a vacuum?"

Yeah. Well, that's okay because we both know you engineers can't make a pure vacuum. We need space levels of vacuum. And we need it to move really fast.

"Hey! We can make a vacuum! But you want your vacuum to move really fast? There's nothing there to move."

We know. That's why you'll need a really big fan. That nothing has to do 7.8km/s. Then we're going to compress it, ionise it, and see if it goes forwards.

"You want to compress high speed nothing, fiddle with it, and see if it will give you forward thrust into a 7.8km/s headwind of nothing?"

Yep.

It's at this point half the engineers quit to go become landscape gardeners and the other half get a slightly crazed look in their eyes and start muttering into their beards.

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News lobsters demand to be let back into the Facebook boiling pot

caffeine addict
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I spend longer on FB than I'd like (mainly due to my friends & colleagues all thinking it's the only way to organise anything).

It's depressing seeing "proper" news agencies resorting to clickbait headlines on there. The Independent is by far the worse for this IMO.

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Knock, knock. Whois there? Get ready for anonymized email addresses after domain privacy shake-up

caffeine addict
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Years ago I worked for a British company that did work for American charities. More than once we had to get the charities to sign agreements that they would obey EU data protection laws before we could/would let them have their own data back...

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RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

caffeine addict
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Re: Well at least

See also Tat R Us (gone today) & Homebase (going, going). Hideous stores - massive checkout queues, ignorant staff standing around chatting.

Homebase belongs to Bunnings now. Unless there's news I've not heard it's not at any imminent risk...

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Star Paws: Attack of the clones

caffeine addict
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Shirley, you mean "pup fiction"...

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Drones replace models on Dolce & Gabbana catwalk

caffeine addict
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Joke

Re: "I asked Chanel to explain itself. The company didn't return my emails"

Hey! Apple isn't a fashion brand. It's a lifestyle choice.

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A print button? Mmkay. Let's explore WHY you need me to add that

caffeine addict
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I have to disagree. UX (in my mind) is there to keep the UI in check.

When designers are allowed to design the UI you end up with everything moving and (in the old days) driven entirely by Flash.

UX shouldn't be something you add - it's a stick to beat the UI people with when they get above themselves. The MS Office "ribbon" is for me a classic case of someone saying "this would be a cool UI" to which someone should have picked up the UX stick and beaten them until they could find the option for globally updating all trailing padding on blocks of monospace text.

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caffeine addict
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Re: Huh ?

I have no idea what DevOps is and now I'm afraid to ask. I'm just assuming it's a buzzword that will bugger off in the next 6-18 months and we'll carry on as we always have.

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You won't believe this: Nokia soars back into phone-flinger top 3

caffeine addict
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Re: LineageOS

Sadly,no-one seems to have broken the Kindle, or I'd have another lOS device in the house...

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See that over Heathrow? It's not an airliner – it's a Predator drone

caffeine addict
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Wouldn't this all be solved by kitting out one of those new and pointless aircraft carriers as drone carriers? Little to no visual flight rules stuff to care about. No legal changes the gov doesn't really want. You could even launch them from land with either a very steep climb through restricted space or dropping from a proper plane.

(Gave myself the image of dozens of them dropping out of the back of a herc and it all suddenly went a bit "The Wall" for some reason...)

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Remember the Yorkie pizza horror? Here's who won our exclusive Reg merch...

caffeine addict
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Well over 1500 calories I'd have thought.

You can't describe a yorkshire. It's British pancake batter (basically) poured into hot beef fat in a muffin tin and then baked until the edges rise and go crispy and the middle has just the right amount of stodge.

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caffeine addict
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Re: Northerners...

1) were they really using pittas for tortilla wraps?

2) if they were using tortillas, did they then deep fry it?

As terrible as a pizza wrap sounds, the idea of a tortilla with a bit of sour cream smeared on it, then a slice of pizza, wrapped up, and then fried in really hot fat (like in olden days that no-one seems to use any longer) so the tortilla crisps up sounds strangely appealing. And I'm stone cold sober.

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Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

caffeine addict
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Re: Aircon Leaks

Who primes any kind of hose by sucking on it, these days? Almost no liquid is anywhere near safe for your lungs or stomach lining. In some places, not even tapwater.

I do, most weeks.

If water filtered once by rocks is pure then water filtered thousands of times by Fluval and fish kidneys must be really pure, right? Right?

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Apple's top-secret iBoot firmware source code spills onto GitHub for some insane reason

caffeine addict
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Re: Got my copy!

Someone released ElReg's aNon code on github...

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All your base are belong to us: Strava exercise app maps military sites, reveals where spies jog

caffeine addict
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Re: Collect all the data, ignore users privacy...

It depends. Did the data originate in Nigeria? No. DId it originate in the UK? Yes. Processing UK citizens' data means you fall under the purview of the ICO, and UK law.

This is very much not my field, but that's not my understanding, or the reading I get from (random fairly reliable website) ThomsonReuters https://uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/1-502-1544

The Data Protection Act (DPA) applies to data controllers that are either:

* Established in the UK and process the data in the context of that establishment.

* Not established in the UK or an EU member state, but use equipment in the UK for processing data (excluding where that data is only in transit).

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caffeine addict
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Re: Collect all the data, ignore users privacy...

Does it have to comply with UK DPA / ICO requirements if it's a US company shipping the data straight to the US untouched. Seems unlikely. That kind of "our law applies everywhere" mentality is normally restricted to US gov.

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It knows where the gravel pits and power lines are. So, Ordnance Survey, where should UK's driverless cars go?

caffeine addict
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Re: Surely...

BlokCave

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caffeine addict
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Re: Surely...

CHAVSW?

Anyway, E-CAVE? That's so 2000...

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NHS outages KO Welsh GP services and Manchester A&E

caffeine addict
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Re: Not as devastating as seems to have been made out

So, based off that twitter feed it was down 2.30 til about 5.15. Presumably both numbers are going to have a bit of lag from the actual times.

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caffeine addict
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Re: I wonder how an NHSbuntu/NHoS based system would have handled it?

Fair enough. To me, sarcasm without relevance looks a hell of a lot like random non-sequitor.

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caffeine addict
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Re: Not as devastating as seems to have been made out

Any idea when it started?

If you're right that it was fixed mid afternoon (and I'm not doubting you) it's odd that the Beeb didn't report on it til 3pm and ElReg until 6pm. Both would normally jump on a story like that.

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caffeine addict
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Re: I wonder how an NHSbuntu/NHoS based system would have handled it?

Wasn't NHoS a desktop OS? So no affect at all on network systems.

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caffeine addict
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Re: Doctor?

Do you think that all the "doctors" in stock photos have medical licenses?

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Elon Musk offered no salary, $55bn bonus to run Tesla for a decade

caffeine addict
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Assuming you mean this paragraph (currently para 3):

But if Tesla hits a series of 12 “Market Capitalization Milestones” starting with the company hitting value of $100bn, up from its current $65bn, then stepping up by $50bn to $650bn, he can score bonuses.

Then it makes perfect sense. (i=100;i<=650;i+50) is twelve steps. Each of those twelve steps is a milestone for which he will receive an increased bonus.

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It's 2018 and… wow, you're still using Firefox? All right then, patch these horrid bugs

caffeine addict
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You really like Bookmark OS, don't you?

https://www.quora.com/profile/Mike-Kane-48

https://disqus.com/by/disqus_5zpzntGMBL/

I'd heard it was a steaming pile of spam. Wonder if the mods will kill the account?

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Baywatch hero drone saves silly struggling swimmers Down Under from going down under

caffeine addict
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That thing ppl think is OCD but isn't.

Does it bug anyone else that the drone isn't painted the same as the chopper they obviously want it compared to in that pic?

Anyone want to buy me some Humbrol and a first class ticket to Aus?

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A380 saved as Emirates orders another 20 planes, plus 16 options

caffeine addict
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Emirate must screw the hell of pricing out of Airbus.

I don't know - Emirates do love those planes (rightly so, they're the nicest places I've ever been on, and that's just in economy). Having the supplier say "if you don't buy more soon we're going to stop making them" probably pushes at least some of the pressure back to Emirates if it's clear they can't try and get the price down by waiting another 3 months.

And my reading of "this guarantees parts for another 10 years" is that without the deal parts might have started to become a problem.

The Dubai - Melbourne flight is a dream in an A380 compared to the A320 or 727(?). Didn't really notice a big difference on on/off boarding either. Since they needed modified gates, it's possible they effectively just open 2 gates at once.

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How many Routemaster bus seats would it take to fill Wembley Stadium?

caffeine addict
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Re: Proof indeed

There's even a rumor that they know a bit about IT.

[citation needed]

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Next; tech; meltdown..? Mandatory; semicolons; in; JavaScript; mulled;

caffeine addict
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I was starting to think I was the only one who remembered that it used to stand for Personal Home Page...

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caffeine addict
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Like most programmers, I guess, I have strong opinions on tabs vs spaces, but why the hell is a semicolon an issue? Most languages I've used have insisted on them so I use them habitually and can't see the issue in adding them.

For tabs vs spaces, the only argument I can see for spaces is that online resources use spaces so it makes grabbing snippets easier. Tabs lets the developer choose how big an indent they want, and (potentially) lets every developer have their own preference without messing up other people's code. But, honestly, most IDEs nowadays let you toggle back and forth easily enough that I'm not sure why anyone cares.

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