* Posts by caffeine addict

451 posts • joined 6 Jun 2007

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

caffeine addict
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Pepper Pig? I guess you must be one of those out-of-touch dads who doesn't quite follow what his children are watching?

Not sure why that's getting downvotes. Seemed ElReg worthy levels of sarcasm about how dads are viewed as not knowing what kids are doing. Unless it's a non-sarcastic dig that it's "Peppa Pig", of course. :/

( I'm depressed that I know that considering I'm 41 and don't have kids... )

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All your bass are belong to us: Soundcloud fans raid site for music amid fears of total collapse

caffeine addict
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Re: "Fully funded into the fourth quarter"

Last time I checked, (at least 160 days) > (less than 50 days) by quite a significant margin.

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caffeine addict
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I wonder how many of their users are using ad blockers...

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Openreach kicks off 'rebrand' by painting over BT logo on vans

caffeine addict
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Re: @caffeine addict

Agreed. Most companies still have a hint of what they do written on them too - but then I suppose most companies like to advertise who they are...

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caffeine addict
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All things considered, that's not a bad rebrand. They've kept the font, used more of the brand purple, and replaced the old multicoloured fibres with something that doesn't look too awful.

On the flip side, if I saw one of their vans, I'd have no bloody clue what they did...

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caffeine addict
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Trollface

Re: What's the cost for just the Website Logo

Didn't you read the article? They're only going to update things when they replace them. That logo's staying there until they rebuild the site.

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Bloke takes over every .io domain by snapping up crucial name servers

caffeine addict
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"midget hang glider porn"

Paper airplanes made from grumble mags?

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Well, that escalated quickly: Qualcomm demands iPhone, iPad sales ban in America

caffeine addict
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Re: Pretty soon...

The US govt just needs to file a patent suit against NK for "an improved method of unregulated exothermic reaction through the use of fissile materials" and get a ban on NK "importing" nukes to the US...

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Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

caffeine addict
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In every branch of science there's a point where sane people throw their hands up and shout "fck it, it's magic".

Roaming chemistry is well beyond that point for me...

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Met Police laggards still have 18,000 Windows XP machines in use

caffeine addict
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Re: Why?

That's shocking.

Please tell me that was intentional...

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Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

caffeine addict
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Re: Not surprised

One of my exciting motoring moments (read "times i nearly cr*pped myself) was hitting a muntjac deer.

They're about the size of a dog and as solid as you'd expect a deer to be. The end result is a bit like hitting a badger on stilts. Doing the legal speed limit, honestly officer, of 70mph on a dual carriageway at 1am and the little bugger came out of nowhere. Almighty bang followed by the front and back ends arguing about who wanted to have less control as deer puree stole all their grip.

It's something I'll never forget - especially in the middle of the night after eating a lot of cheese...

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caffeine addict
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Re: No surprises here

Ah septics - probably the only term the septics hate more than being called merkins. :)

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HMS Windows XP: Britain's newest warship running Swiss Cheese OS

caffeine addict
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Wasn't it only a week or two ago we were talking about how our Trident equipped subs weren't running Windows XP but Windows XP Embedded, which is a similar animal but sectioned off so that it has minimal attack vectors?

So is the complaint that it's XP (which it almost certainly isn't) or that they've stuck an existing warship OS on it with the intention of installing something else before she goes operational? There's a lot of stuff that's not on her yet, or which is on her temporarily while she chugs around the North Sea.

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Verizon!-owned! Yahoo! bins! AT&T! IDs! for! Tumblr! logins!

caffeine addict
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How is this a thing? Are the identities tied together in some hideous way or is this like Skype emailing everyone who used a gmail email address and telling them they need to provide a different email address?

This feels like it should be against some kind of competitions law - but since it's in the US, who knows...

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WhatsApp app in flap over chap's snap of URL mishap

caffeine addict
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I'm not overly surprised that whatsapp is doing this, but I'm surprised it's coming straight from the app and not from a WhatsApp server.

What sort of prat does that on a "secure" app? At least Facebook only seems to do it when you hit return.

Hang on... I just used Facebook as a less-worse option. I may need to go kill myself.

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IBM's contractor crackdown continues: Survivors refusing pay cut have hours reduced

caffeine addict
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Joke

Re: “be forced to reduce their CLAIMED hours by 15 per cent.”

You're clearly a contractor. An employee wouldn't have to go get his shorts so he could leave.

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Samsung releases 49-inch desktop monitor with 32:9 aspect ratio

caffeine addict
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Re: Only 1080 high?

Also bad web designers tend to make websites which fill the screen with junk

Worse, a lot of them have decided that anything below 1080 wide must be a tablet, and decide you need to have the mobile site.

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Software dev bombshell: Programmers who use spaces earn MORE than those who use tabs

caffeine addict
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That's always been my thinking too. Use tabs and you can set them to whatever the hell you want.

No-one has ever given me a convincing argument for using spaces - to the extent that I've come to the conclusion that a handful of famous coders have used spaces and everyone else is going along with it like a cargo cult.

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Waymo waves off original Google Firefly driverless car

caffeine addict
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Vans? Minivans?

Isn't the Pacifica a minivan in the American sense - a people carrier car not a small delivery vehicle? The article seems confused about what Google are playing with.

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DXC Technology puts reluctant office movers on naughty step

caffeine addict
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Re: 2.5 miles may not sound like a lot

True, but 4 stops on the northern line hardly sounds like the end of the world...

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caffeine addict
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Re: This isn't a relocation issue

It's also likely to be because people were working in one location then commuting to the other (on company time) for meetings.

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caffeine addict
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It was there.

If it said "But it certainly had nothing to do with the handy location of his Hertfordshire home in relation to a certain rail line." then it would be relevant, but he could well live in Exeter, Glasgow or Monaco for all we know.

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caffeine addict
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"Wilson didn’t shed any light in his memo as to why he wants DXC to return to the Kings Cross offices."

That sounds like a cheap shot unless you are going to at least hint at where the guy lives...

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Hyperloop One teases idea of 50-minute London-Edinburgh ride

caffeine addict
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Re: Something less drastic maybe

This is an excellent idea - sadly with different companies running the two airports I'd say the chances of co-operation were just about nil.

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Horror in space: Hot alien giant boiled alive by nasty radiation-belching star

caffeine addict
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Re: what's the uv index?

I read the entire article thinking that read "Ultra violet radiation" and was going to suggest the "tanning bed" as a unit.

Sticking with light as radiation though, would calling the unit the "video-nasty" date me horribly?

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Google to give 6 months' warning for 2018 Chrome adblockalypse – report

caffeine addict
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Re: Price per page view ...

I've yet to find anywhere that has even half the knowledgeable snark of The Register. And even if there was, I'd expect it to be looking at modifying its payment model soon after it got hit by a load of non-paying visitors.

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Does Microsoft have what it takes to topple Google Docs?

caffeine addict
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If Outlook 365 is anything to go by...

The only bit of 365 I've had the misfortune to use is Outlook 365. Considering just how old and ubiquitous webmail is, I don't understand how Outlook 365 has buggered it up so badly.

It's slow. It's clunky. It gives you no idea if it's doing something very slowly or hasn't noticed you clicked on something. It pretty much doesn't work at all on mobile. How is all that even possible nowadays?

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Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

caffeine addict
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I had to deal with the same rants during the WannaCrypt woes. People don't seem to get that an airgapped, XPe with no USB/data ports is pretty much impossible to hack. Unless you have direct physical access and a desire to cause havoc, in which case no system is going to be secure.

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Boffins spot 'faceless fish' in strange alien environment

caffeine addict
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Don't fish from deep down have a tendency to distort (and explode) when brought up to sea level? What did it look like when it was at the right depth?

( "Sea level" is a particularly stupid term when you're talking about underwater. It's more "sky level", isn't it? )

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How the Facebook money funnel is shaping British elections

caffeine addict
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Re: If you use facebook...

The majority of my social media circle are Labour Remainers. It's been particularly amusing/depressing watching the same people who complained about lies and misrepresentations in the Brexit campaign now blindly reposting anything pro-Labour or anti-Tory without doing even the most basic fact checks. When called on it the reply seems to be "it doesn't matter if it's 100% accurate as long as it gets the desired result".

I've given up on all social media for the last month solely to protect my blood pressure.

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caffeine addict
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Re: If you use facebook...

So, we should just ignore the uninformed public and allow a self selecting cabal to choose our govt for us?

It's a plan that has advantages, but it also involves changing our nation's name to the People's Democratic Republic of Great Britain and Northern Island.

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caffeine addict
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Re: If you use facebook...

I hate facebook as much as the next smug git, but any "[group] is too stupid to vote" pisses me off.

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Raspberry Pi foundation merges with CoderDojo Foundation

caffeine addict
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Presumably the "merging" happens later that night.

( and no jokes about forking. )

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Three Nigerians sentenced to 235 years in prison for online scamming

caffeine addict
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Re: HELO DEEREST FRIED

Damn you - I came here to make the same joke. Have my +1 you early waking git.

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Nokia's retro revival 3310 goes on sale and disappears immediately

caffeine addict
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My commiserations.

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caffeine addict
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If it had an app/feature on it so I could ping it and it would return its location it would make a fantastic glovebox phone. Leave it in there with a hardwired usb cable (car end) and it would be there in emergencies AND I could use it to work out where the hell my wife has gone with her phone on silent. Or where it is if some toerag nicks the car.

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PayPal peed off about Pandora's 'P' being mistaken for its 'PP'

caffeine addict
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Meh - it is a bit similar in that colour, but not enough to get all legal about. Unless that's a longstanding Pandora colour, just shift it to purple and tell PayPal to go away.

( I vaguely remember Pandora. It used to be a nice way to discover music until they locked out everyone who wasn't American... )

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LastPass now supports 2FA auth, completely undermines 2FA auth

caffeine addict
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Re: Better alternatives...

I think I'll start keeping essential security info in a a camber pot under the bed.

Presumably a camber pot is for when you're on the piss?

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Nukes tests caused space weather, say NASA boffins

caffeine addict
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Now this is something interesting that NK could do with those nukes without getting instantly flattened - fire a nuke straight up (even NK should be able to do that) and watch the fun as satellites go down and power grids falter. Call it a "test". Demand money to not carry out any further "tests".

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caffeine addict
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Re: Fcukwits reach the top too.

If you're going to post a mad non-sequitur, at least make it something that makes sense by itself. Or is funny.

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America 'will ban carry-on laptops on flights from UK, Europe to US'

caffeine addict
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Re: So what about the battery

Doesn't even matter if you have a TSA lock - my wife flew Atlanta->Heathrow last year and they cut off her TSA lock to search her bag. They even put the remains of the TSA labled lock in her case... o.O

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caffeine addict
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Re: So what about the battery

Do we still do oblig xkcd links?

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Android O-mg. Google won't kill screen hijack nasties on Android 6, 7 until the summer

caffeine addict
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I'm sorry...?

Are we not going to discuss that image on the front page? WTF is she doing? It looks like she's about to taste some freshly bonfire-roasted horse shit.

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FCC: Take your spam and shove it, slacktivists!

caffeine addict
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Yes.

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Parcel bods Hermes become latest London drone delivery droogs

caffeine addict
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Yeah, last time they delivered to mine "your designated safe place" was "in the middle of the back garden, in the long grass, with the neighbour's cat pissing on it".

Not sure it's that's better or worse than amazon "hiding" it under the front door mat...

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We know what you're thinking: Where the hell is all the antimatter?

caffeine addict
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Re: Sorry, I goofed up.

It's okay. As soon as they get up to speed, they lose track of where they are...

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caffeine addict
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I am not a scientist...

I'm very very much not a scientist, but this has always appealed to me...

If space is n-dimentional, why couldn't the big bang have gone in two directions down one one those dimensions, with *most* of the matter being flung one way, and most of the anti-matter being flung the other way?

The bonus to that is that you get two universes which would explode if they ever came into contact with each other, which makes science fiction much more fun.

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Half a million 'de-identified' patients records to be shared in Bradford

caffeine addict
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So, a prize...

...for the first person to deanonymise the data of a Bradford MP, Lord, or NHS high-up?

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Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

caffeine addict
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Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

I know we mock the whalesong rebranding efforts, but what the ever loving feck is that logo? It looks like it was designed in the 1980s by a director who failed O level art but knew that those fax thingies couldn't do colour.

It's almost like they're using a place holder logo for a company that won't be around for long and which they hope is as unmemorable as possible so that it's slash and burn reputation doesn't pass on to the next owner. Oh, wait...

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New iPad revealed. Big price cut is main feature

caffeine addict
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Re: Red and Pink and tired all over

Fair enough. But when did you last see a Product Red tie in with a new product? I've only ever seen it on older tech, and only ever heard people describe it as "yeah, but the charity gets some money from it" as if they are completely unable to give money to a charity themselves...

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