Posts by Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

This might all turn out to be a bit more interesting than the Millenium Bug

All those 'Air-Gapped' systems. Some running critical infrastructure. The irresistible force and the unmovable object (Customers who have paid for and set up their software, with some of them just being 'tight' and 'freetards', the others being pragmatically locked in, albeit by worsening economic times or lack of forethought, or perish the thought, both! AND Microsoft, respectively).

But I know little about that. Except with this latest news that it is turning into a bit of a game of 'chicken'.

What do I know about? Well. Let's start first with me being the typical unpaid tech support to family. You know, called in for a 72 hour hacking run to restore a not backed up system, because of another family member visiting dodgy sites. That kind of thing.

Mumsy got bought a win8 laptop and I tried to put on there the only thing she uses a computer for - SCRABBLE! (Excuse the caps, that was the sound of me SHOUTING!)

Of course, it being such an advanced version of the Kernel, it will not run 16-bit programs. She has a more up to date version. She is not a freetard. But, go figure, she likes the old one better. I made an .iso of it for future use as the old one was scratched worse than a Tom Cat that fancied his chances. She uses the computer for nothing else. She can not switch a computer on or off. She can not use email. She can be sat down on the chair and pointed to a search engine and she can sometimes get lucky and find websites of interest. But this brings its own problems. She might sound like a retard and being the Mother of a son with diagnosed HFA/Aspie, you may be forgiven that the tree is never far from where the apple might lie. She is however, an exceptional poet and human being. She is also extremely infuriating. This is turning into a bit of a case study, so switch over now those of you with small attention spans.

In short, she is not a moron. She is not an average user either, granted. Her little game of Scrabble (I've calmed down a bit now) in the afternoon keeps her sane while my Stepdad sleeps off his medication. Ah, my Stepdad. Another case study.

Follow me, as Dedoimedo says...

We get on great, no animosity at all. But he thinks nothing of getting the arsehole with me when I now try to fix their computer. I installed Ghostery (not even the vicious fascist ADBlock) and Disqus stopped working on the comments in the Independent. He never quite forgave me for that. Or forgot.

Now, on this win8 lappy that I tried to install the 16-bit Scrabble (see, I'm still calm) on, there was a queer little problem. The CPU hit was through the roof, the machine was practically hung, in short it was crippled. After 20 minutes of trying to find the equivalent of the Task Manager, I finally sussed that the problem was McAffee. I shit you not. It is an oldie but goodie as they say. The best part was, that half of the hit was for message: "YOUR ANTI-VIRUS IS ABOUT TO RUN OUT IN 4 YEARS. YOUR MACHINE IS VULNERABLE. YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK. ALL THOSE NAUGHTY KNICKER PICTURES YOU POSTED TO YOUTOO? NOW HAVE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS AND CREDIT CARD NUMBER ATTACHED. I REPEAT YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK. CREDIT CARD NEEDED NOW FOR YOUR RENEWAL FOR 2018. THIS IS NOT A VIRUS. THIS IS NOT A VIRUS".

I exaggerate somewhat for artistic definition. Those lacking in the irony department, feel free to pull me up on this one. Those lacking in the humour/sarcasm dept. just downvote and stop wasting everyone's time.

The best part is about to come though, for those not short of attention and long on perseverance.

So, I thought, maybe, just kill it with fire, nuke it! What the hey, the subscription that they did not sign up to runs out in a few months (I will admit to lying about the earlier time frame I posted for affect earlier).

My face red. Veins starting to bulge. Whole morning computer session ruined by an operating system that I don't know how to use and a fucking extortion virus planted by an anti-virus company (and you wonder why we love that little white fluffy nosed head case that shoots his own software for fun on youtube?).

And I say to my Stepdad (and this is after I have explained that I can get the 16-bit Scrabble to run in a VM, but it might take me a bit of time coz I am new to all that, but I am pretty sure it can be done. And she won't need to put the original CD in any more to the CD player, just click on a linky), I say: Oh your AV is running out in a few weeks (again, exaggerating the other way this time - I am not to be trusted really), why don't I just uninstall it as it will cost you 50 quid just for a year and you will need to pay that again in 12 months time (not even I could exaggerate how long a year is - this guy is no chump!)?

At this point, he starts to get agitated. Now it is him trying to keep his blood pressure down (see what you have done Microsoft/McaFee [same company - go figure - McaSoft's the name, extortion is our game]?).

Please excuse my pathetic parenthesis. I'm sure that someone who codes C++ could do much better.

No, he is trying to control his anger and not doing a very good job of it. A frisson ensues.

He says: But then I won't have any Anti Virus on there, and I will be open to Virii (he doesn't say 'Virii' but pedantically he should have).

I says: No problem, I will put on there, another solution, also by Microsoft, the makers of your Operating System. It will be free, invisible, and highly effective (ok, I lied about the last part - I did tell you I was not to be trusted - you are seeing the worst of me here, and this is a fight for survival now). You will not know the difference, and it won't cost you 50 quid!

He explodes with rage! Cough, Splutter, Stroke (Again I lied and it's not good to trivialise these things, but then again it isn't a good thing to increase your chances of that exponentially when someone is trying to fix your fucking computer for you for free).

He says: How dare you, putting another VIRUS on my computer. I still have not FORGOT (my bold) that last time I could not use the disqus comments on the Independent.

Me. Mixture of facepalm through back of the head with 'time to go apeshit'.

I bit my tongue. Shut the fuck up. And went down the pub. Got fucking wrecked.

I can not deal with these people.

Btw, when I go to see my folks every now and again, the system hardening I have put in place seems to have worked, because when I check the logs, they are clean.

Thankless task.

Now, my Stepdad uses software that he has no backup for and will need to buy again.

Does he say thanks for my researching and finding open source alternatives for Microsoft products he bought and still has the disks for, but Microsoft 'discontinued'? No. Course not.

Not only would the data migration itself be a pain and need some kind of strategy to be effective, but it would also cost money. He plays games and buys everything. Again he is not a freetard.

Microsoft is fucking about with his mind. In a few days time his software is going to stop working, and it won't be because XP (SP3) blows up. It will be because Microsoft withdrew support a little while ago for people (devs) providing the said software. And hardware of course - that goes with out saying.

That shall be the point of my next post.

I've had enough for now. I could rant on for hours more. I am ready to answer questions.

But, maybe, you will have caught the gist of case study one.

Vinyl will be with us for a while

First off, it is physically impossible for a human being to distinguish between the 'best' mp3 encoding and the original file. Notice how I didn't say 'source'. Of course a live band sounds different to the recording coming out of the speakers in the studio as they record or master Dark Side Of The Moon.

So, you are fine with mp3 which is a lossy format, but then again Ogg offers the same quality at even smaller sizes of compression. Flac is of course a lossless format, but there will be some idiot who argues that vinyl sounds better.

I know that lame - the best encoder - used to do this as standard at 128kbps, but they probably still do and maybe for different bit rates too. The info is out there if you care to look. As an audio engineer, I know when to use my eyes and when to use my ears. I use the Voxengo Span plugin in a freely available audio editor such as Wavosaur or Audacity, after placing it in my VST folder, when I want to look at the frequencies. But you mix with your ears which are hard coded and your brain which is soft coded. So you can train your brain but if your ears are physically damaged or you are getting on a bit, you're SOOL. I also can't hear anything over 15/16KHz, but that is average for my age, and lucky to have that considering.

Anyway, the developer of FLStudio got called out on this when someone ran all of the mp3s they encoded through an analyser and noticed that they were brutally HPF'd at 17KHz. He admitted writing this into the spec as 'no one can hear that high anyway'. And even if you were a kid and could hear that high it is a very very unpleasant frequency. They make those kid defender bat screechers don't they that they put outside chip shops to see off all the young punks and stop the mods and rockers clashing. You might have heard of them. But you probably won't have HEARD one.

When the CD came out, people were blown away. Indestructible they cried. No hiss they proclaimed. No goddamn scratches and warps shouted others. Also not as heavy to carry as much music as before, physically. Ok, you couldn't dj on them at the time, but still. More than one or two people sold their entire vinyl collection when moving house, only to replace the lot on CD, justifying it to the wife as, well it will save some space darling.

One of the greatest and best sounding albums ever recorded - Slave To The Rhythm by Grace Jones - was actually mastered at 14 bits, not even using the full 16 bits that was soon to become the standard. Nobody complains about the quality of that recording. And so it came to pass, and so it was burned to CD, and lo, how they did rejoice: 'All hail the CD, all hail the CD'. The future had arrived.

But the djs who themselves still had to lug around their vinyl to do gigs and were understandably bitter still said 'vinyl sounds better'. That was back in the day. And a lot of them are still saying the same thing now. My mind is not made up on this one. There probably is a reason why vinyl sounds different, apart from 'analog warmth'. And anything that the human brain can perceive to be different it can perceive to be better. As long as the record is not scratched and it is played on a good system, I'm sure vinyl does give it a run for its money, but saying it has more low end or whatever is missing the point. It is not supposed to have more low end. If God, sorry the producers/mix engineers had wanted it to have more low end, they would have mixed it into the track which would have then been played back faithfully by a digital clone reproduction on a 'transparent' system. Sheesh, so easy to run rings around these hi-fi idiots. They just don't think right. As has been displayed by people selling a frigging usb cable for 500 quid, and people buying it. Sadly I am not joking. But enough of that argument. It's been done to death.

Take a look at labels like Astrophonica. I don't know if they are even still going, but I watched a video of them on youtube (Fracture and Neptune) doing a little master class on making a toon, mastering it and running a small label. Great stuff. If you like high quality Drum and Bass they do it very well. And it is because of people like this, slogging on for little to no reward that vinyl will not go out of fashion in our lifetime. DJs still love to use vinyl. Ok, they can use CDs now, but if you think Armin My Armchair would be seen dead 'spinning' a CD you sadly don't know much about the 'Glory Boys' of the current music biz. They even fly around it jets and things. Lots of money still to be made from the punters. Clubs and dancing will not go out of fashion in our lifetime. The government killed of the real thing of course - nipped it in the bud with their true policemen - the gangsters who killed the scene. It's been dead pretty much since the beginning of the millenium, but that is another argument.

Kids today like to listen to crap music by crap djs. They like to get off their little numb skulls on crap drugs in crap places to escape their crap lives. I could quote HST here about how there was a time when if you looked a certain way when the waves rolled back. But luckily for you I won't.

Today's music has, to quote the great Dave Pensado: Had the dog piss squashed out of it. Well I'm paraphrasing actually, but none the less. It is all about Dynamic Range, not the BITS. Be that Bit Depth or Bit Rate. Remember Slave to the Rhythm being 14 Bit? Then pressed to a 16 Bit format? 16 Bits is MORE than enough for playback. It is not enough for RECORDING because whilst wholly adequate if you are careful and watch your levels, 24 Bit gives you more headroom and is more forgiving and quicker and easier to work with. One masters down to 32 Bit to send to the mastering houses. And all the shenanigans that go inside your DAW are at 32 Bit/64 Bit now anyway for reasons of floating point calculation accuracy or sommat. That and a bit of Mojo. And once one proclaims '64Bit' they will all be at it lest to be seen losing the arms race. But there are sound reasons for using 24 bit for Recording. Some can even make an argument for going up to silly levels like 96KHz or more, but again, I will leave them to it because it is all very techy stuff and for Recording. There have been some very convincing arguments made as to why you would never want or need to go above 16 Bit - 44.1KHz for PLAYBACK. Again to do with the mechanics of the human ear, General Physics Theory and even a bit of common sense. Inter Modulation Distortion is one of those arguments. Again, it's all out there if you want to spend years educating yourself, or even five minutes.

http://xiph.org/~xiphmont/demo/neil-young.html

Today everyone wants their music to be the loudest. And surely enough, the reason why the music on soundcloud sounds crap even if it not is because they have used a limiter to reduce the dynamic range and push the levels up to almost the point of white noise. Nearly everyone does this, because when you first make a track, you don't send it off for mastering, you do it yourself and you notice it is not as loud as everything else, so you learn about compression and limiting and then squash the dog piss out of it. And after spending 300 quid on that nice new shiney software limiter - sure you want to be pushing it another couple of dB, right? So it is people not knowing what they are doing, but it is more than that. So many very talented and capable engineers just argue that that is where they stand on the side of the loudness wars. If music sounds crap today it is because, well, it sounds crap, never mind the music. It is fatiguing to listen to for more than three minutes.

When I put a track up at soundcloud, it is not quite as loud as the other stuff, but in my music, you can hear it rise/fall, ebb/flow. You can't with their music. You might not like my music and you will have to 'turn it up' a bit. But that is the whole point. When you do turn it up it sounds great. When it is a square wave the human tendency is to actually turn it down. I can still make a relatively loud track though, because even I am not Pink Floyd and making a bit of Drum and Bass or Dub, I only need so many dBs of Dynamic Range. Everything else is fair game. The loudness war has been fought and lost I'm afraid and there are only us straddling pathetic hippies wandering around with a dazed expression on our faces, saying 'why did they hit me? I'm a pacifist!'.

TL;DR

Vinyl is expensive to produce, it is hard to take care of, and it probably does NOT sound as good as a CD depending on your criteria. But it is not going anywhere. It will just become more boutique and desirable. For every fuckwit that spends 500 quid on a usb cable for his 10K quid CD player, there will be 20 or more that stretch to getting a bit of plastic fantastic into their lives. And they don't sound half bad either when pressed properly, but as any small label producer will tell you, it is hard enough getting a decent ME (Mastering Engineer) to finish your tracks off, let alone finding a pressing plant that is not going to press a 1000 or possibly 500 minimum run, up in the middle of the night and you go pick them up in the morning only to later find that all that hard work, time and money and creativity, actually sounds like it's being played back on a 19th Century Gramophone, even with your oxygen free, platinum coated 500 bucks usb cables. You pays yer money, you takes yer chances.

Btw, what is the Bit Rate and Bit Depth of a Vinyl Pressing? Never thought about it before. Don't have a record player.

I say!

---------------------------------

*Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex

-----------------------------------

I have heard of the L, G, B and T bit. All for it, in fact!

To paraphrase Feargal Sharkey: A good Tranny these days is hard to find. But never mind that now.

I'm curious about the Intersex thing. WTF is that? I suppose I could look it up on the webnet. But I'm an innocent that still doesn't know what 2 girls one cup is about. No really, I don't. La la la can't hear you. Please don't try to pollute my beautiful mind ((c) B.Bush).

Got to admit, I am kind of curious though. Not bi-curious mind you. Oh no. Just you know..

As for that Tatchell chap. Isn't he just the British White equivalent of the Reverend Al. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson? Don't like the cut of his gib to be frank about it. Then again, never burn your bridges, might need to give him a call soon to find out what t'Intersex ting is.

Please god no, don't let it be what my dirty mind might think it is. Deep fried crisp, shirley not! Mind vacuum needed Mother! Oh sweet cheese crisp, please not. Not that. Anything but that. I'm definitely not looking it up now.

They will be worrying Rhododendrons next and calling it Art.

All I can say is: If you tolerate this, then your children will be next. Will be next. Will be next...

Husbands will have to ask their wives...

...if they want to watch porn at home, Cameron _WARNS_ (emphasis mine).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2509393/Husbands-conversations-porn-home-Cameron-warns.html

Scenario 1:

"Darling, you don't watch any of that nasty smut, do you ?"

"Why of course not, darling, you are all I need, all I'll ever need, for forever and a day".

"Thought so darling. That's good. Darling. It's just we got a saucy letter from our ISP telling us they were going to censor our internet, whether we liked it or not, but if we wanted to, we could put ourselves on the NEW PERVERTS SEX REGISTER (emphasis theirs) and everything would be as normal. For now."

"Oh I don't think we have any need for that kind of filth. I for one, am happy to welcome our new covert/overt censoring overlords."

Cue mad rush to find cheapest monthly VPN that doesn't keep records.

"Darling, what is this charge for 9.99 per month made out to 'Vpnz_R_Us' ? "

"Er, darling, I can explain. But you might like to get a cup of tea and sit down, while I get my story straight, I mean, while I explain everything to you".

_______________________

Scenario 2:

I'm still in shock. I don't know where to begin. I feel as if my whole life has been turned around. Everything I thought I ever knew has come into question...

I don't know where to begin. The start is as good a place as any.

My Wife and I have been married for over 14 years. We are soul mates. She is the one for me. And I for her. She is all I have ever wanted. And all I'll ever need. For forever and a day.

I particularly dislike pornography and the kind of smut that degrades women. The exploitation is the worst we have to offer as a species and it just shows how far we have to go in the human race before we can even start dealing with the very real problems that are now facing us. It's why I don't read the Daily Mail.

So imagine my shock, when my Wife cagily broached this subject one evening last week after dinner and one too many bottles of Merlot.

"Darliiiiingggg."

"Yes Darling."

"You do know that I love you, don't you?"

"Yes darling. I do."

"Well, there's something we need to talk about."

"Out with it, my good lady."

"Well the other daaaayyyy, I got this very nasty little letter in the poooooost."

"Really darling, what did it say?"

"Well those nasty men from our ISP are going to be censoring our internet. Rationing the tap of true knowledge and enlightenment that used to be Man's birthright, one and all. And the only way around it is if we sign up for some silly little SEX PERVERTS REGISTER. No ifs or buts."

"That is disgusting darling. We shalln't be doing that. Oh no. You know how I feel about those sex people."

"Well, that is what I wanted to talk to you about darling. You see, I have a secret addiction - it's not that I don't love you, for forever and a day, but, I don't know how to put this - I like to see skinny white girls getting spannered sideways by big nasty black men with 12 inch cocks! There, I've said it."

"You certainly have darling. How long have you been feeling this way?"

"Oohoooohhhh, I don't know, since before I met you. It's not that I don't love you. So I was wondering if we could maybe sign up, well YOU actually for that nasty little SEX PERVERT'S REGISTER - the bill is in your name after all. Then that way, I could keep getting my daily dose of smut and tickle myself into a stupor every day before you get home from work."

I hope by now you are getting the picture of the difficulties I am facing. Obviously I had no idea this sort of thing was going on. Can you see the bind I am in? Do I sign the SEX PERVERT'S REGISTER and keep my wife? Or do I decline to sign it and lose her for ever?

____________________________________

Ahem.

So many things wrong on so many levels. Politically, Technically, Socially, Sexually, etc. etc...

If you read that Mail article, you will see them once again conflating the argument with people that use TOR/VPN.

This is an all out assault. Someone has thought very long and hard about this and they are 'making it happen' with the requisite engineering. They do know how to press those buttons. But it works for them and gives them what they want. Start from a seed of an argument that no right minded individual could disagree with and work up from there until you log on to your state approved terminal with your genitals.

Many on this very website have been saying for sometime now, it's only a matter of time. VPNs will be illegal to use. Proxies too. Bit by bit they will take it down and take it back. Because they are very very afraid. In fact, I never realised they were this afraid. People this afraid are dangerous.

One thing I know is, Cameron et all don't give a fuck about the abuse of children. They have the resources to tackle it and 'backtrace' it and stop it. Nip it off at source. But no, they are too busy using it as the main excuse to spy on and curtail all our rights and liberties and freedoms. They are as bad as the very people that rape young children to my mind. They are perpetrators because it suits their sick and twisted agenda. Images of child abuse will still be available in 10 years time. But the use of VPN/TOR for the average man, will not.

Is there any one out there that can not see what this is really about and where it is really going?

"Do it to Julia! Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia! I don't care what you do to her. Tear her face off, strip her to the bones. Not me! Julia! Not me!"

"It’s funny..

..how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen.”

"Right," said Dr. Brodsky. "It's association, the oldest educational method in the world. And what really causes you to feel ill."

"You felt ill this afternoon," he said, "because you're getting better. When we're healthy we respond to the presence of the hateful with fear and nausea. You're becoming healthy, that's all. You'll be healthier still this time tomorrow."

So, let me get this right. Facefuck is pushing real life snuff movies to 13 year old children?

Isn't there a law against that? Am I allowed to make CDs of it and sell them down the market on a Sunday?

To 13 year olds?

Er, is this a joke, publicity stunt or one of them there psychological operations I keep hearing so much about?

I've never seen anyone have their head or any other part of their body chopped off so far in my life. Personal choice and all that - hope I never do. Don't need it, like I don't need to hear the blood curdling screams of a small kitten being tortured, but I am aware some people get something out of doing it and others get something out of watching/hearing it. Don't see the need to desensitise people to extreme violence and encourage it. Is there an agenda here? Quite obviously so, but I'm buggered if I can work out what it is. There is no altruism or common decency from these low life soul sucking bastards and bitches, is all I know.

So they want to gauge our disdain do they? Who the fuck made these sinister clowns the arbiters here and why do they give a shit what I think or how I react?

I won't ever be joining facefuck like I won't ever be having children and bringing them into a world like this. This is not the world I grew up in. Something has changed and it hasn't changed for the better. And it won't be changing back. If I did ever end up having kids by some slim chance, they wouldn't be allowed a mobile phone either until 18. I know, I know, they would be bullied and emotionally tortured by their peers and socially excluded and that would be my fault right? Of course it would. Better not to have children today.

How would you feel if your wife or daughter had 2 million people 'liking' the fact that their head had been chopped off? I'd rather see my daughter being raped then beheaded - at least she would still be alive. Has someone lost their sense of perspective here, because I really don't feel as if I have. Some would argue that an animal's life is not as valuable as a human's. Can I upload a video of a kitten having its head chopped off, because 'that wouldn't be as bad'? What kind of precedent are they trying to set here?

I can think of a 101 things very very wrong with this on as many levels, but time for a cup of tea and then do the dishes. Let me pass the torch of my disdain to the next person to comment on.

But just one thing before I toodle off - If you ever meet me in real life, do not whatever you do, tell me you work for facefuck. If you do, I promise you that I will 'rip your fucking head off', metaphorically of course, within the laws of the land and within the bounds of the decency that I personally adhere to. No need to even raise my voice, break the law or do anything illegal, to wipe that smug smile off your face. Just sayin' as they say. Fucking shameful. Just when you think the scum can't sink any lower or smell any worse.

At least google have an argument for the evil they do - we can't monitor all the videos all the time. They don't actively push it and then advertise the fact as some macho bravado.

Ok, what's next? Babies being eaten by the baby eating bishop of Bath and Wells - pay per chew?

:-)

</chain well and truly yanked>

It's a sin!

I'll leave the last word to little Alex:

“The common people will let it go. Oh yes, they’ll sell liberty for a quieter life. That is why they must be led, sir, driven, pushed!”

Stress? I'll tell you what stress is!

That is just pure comedy gold AC @ 17:01

That just proves how quickly a nightmare scenario can unfold. I can imagine it now: Your wireless microphone mercilessly feeding back, not just deafening you with your ultra-sensitive auditory perception, but pissing off a load of beered up punters to boot. Spotlight on you, blinding your sensitive little aspie eyes. :-)

It could only have been worse if there was an unannounced anti-terrorist drill and you had got buzzed by black helicopters (with more spotlights and loudspeakers) and the boys in black unfurling themselves off long bits of rope to take you away for a bit of rubber hose cryptanalysis.

But bravo! I wish I could have been there to experience it for myself (with some earplugs and a pair of shades of course). But yeah, never again! You know, people 'on the spectrum' might not always get the joke, but they remain to this day some of the funniest buggers I've ever come across. It's a wry, dry sense of humour, but hey, if you get it.... Maybe you had to be there!

I see the same old 'ooh, you're just trying to be trendy' comments. It's ok. Let it out my little NT cousins, let it all out.

I see the 'no way in hell am I tarring myself with that brush without having to' comments too. And that's ok, I don't bleeding blame you. Anything someone can use to get one over on you...

I see the 'oh, we'll soon be having diagnostics for the colour of peoples eyes next' comments, and you too my perceptive little bedfellows are quite right as well.

Then there are the 'we are all mad, it's just a case of how well you hide it, so just crack on' comments. And these are just as perceptive and valid imho too.

But I think my favourite has been the 'we are all different and we should learn to accept and embrace that and not be afraid to be honest about who we are' comments. Believe me, I'm the first to puke an organ when it comes to American style therapy bullshit (no offence to our over the water relations). But yeah, I'm all for honesty and self-discovery. It's powerful stuff. I believe they are trying to make it illegal. :-)

But anyway, I've learned a load from this thread. I've realised by following some of the links that I suffer from HSP syndrome too as well as being an aspie with PDD/NOs. HSP? I hear you clack into your little google box? HSP - Highly Sensitive Person syndrome! I shit you not. No, I'm serious. Deadly serious. I couldn't be more serious unless I was cancer.

Look it up, follow the links, drink in the Dabrowski and the Jung. The R.D. Laing and the Maslow. Fascinating stuff. I now have another string to my bow. It's all about development or lack of. About being normal, but not quite. About bright lights, over sensitivity/excitability, to external stimuli and internal emotions. Conflict and resolution. Or not.

I have high functioning autism. I didn't want it. I didn't ask for it. My family are ashamed of me. They think I am hiding behind a 'flag', in a 'box', 'trying to be trendy'. It's ok. I don't mention it any more to anyone. Certainly never when I f*** up. That would just seem like an excuse and give all you 'oh it's just an excuse for you to be an arsehole' crew somewhat of a valid argument. At least in your eyes. Even though it doesn't. Now you'll never know if I really am an arsehole or an aspie. Little secret, I _can_ be a total arsehole sometimes too.

But I also display extremely high emotional intelligence. Probably not for you, because you, ironically enough as the NT are not capable of listening to a bloody word I'm saying. Then again, I can get the wrong end of the stick and get battered to a bloody pulp by a gaggle of stewed up brew-heads. It happens, not so much any more because I try to avoid those situations. I have blind spots. Do you get that?

I have also learned not to avoid eye contact, to the point where I can actually stare at someone. Properly stare. I've done it to women out in public with my g/f. Totally innocent. But the repercussions aren't. Boy can you get into a lot of trouble for that. But sometimes, you just go into your own little world. It might be that you are thinking about a higher philosophical construct and your eyes just get 'locked' (honest your honour), or it might be that someone's face 'transports' you back twenty years to a long forgotten image of a friend (officer).

Yes, the beatings come in all shapes and sizes.

The majority of those who are truly on the spectrum will be co-morbid with far more serious stuff - anxiety - depression. According to some sources. Who knows? I don't. Some say that only one in 4000 people have aspergers. And it effects men by low digit multiples more than women. Do the math. Other figures are several orders of magnitude in the other direction. I honestly don't know.

And as for 'high-functioning', it doesn't mean you are a savant. It means you are towards the end of the spectrum where NT people reside. Them being the most high-functioning of all. Chances are that you are not as clever as them because those with aspergers are actually slightly under average IQ. Then again, some say aspies are slightly over. Confusing eh? Who to believe? Who cares. Just crack on.

I'm pretty clever. I have a broad spectrum intelligence. But I have blind spots. I supposedly have an IQ of 138 on the most well regarded test I could find on line (what a load of bollocks). And btw, I scored 38 on that online test that some one referred to earlier. Whilst there, I took the opportunity to understand a bit more about PDD/NOs but I still can't bloody understand it - no wonder they flattened the diagnostic for that in the manual. But here is what matters, when I went for a programming job, they gave me some kind of test. I failed miserably. They told me so. I was upset after spending a couple of years learning Java and not doing a bad job of it. But they said 'you'll never be a programmer son'. And they were right. I'm too thick.

But to be perfectly honest, even with myself, I answered those questions semi randomly because I could feel a meltdown coming on. I answered the best I could. In truth, I just didn't know how to answer them. I knew how to score for a 'no you're not on the spectrum', and I knew how to answer for 'you are so on the spectrum'. But I really struggled with getting it 'just right'. I've found this with all tests I have done. And passed them all with flying colours - 'yup - on the spectrum'.

Btw, when I was diagnosed by a consultant psychiatrist (who yawned in my face - wasn't sure if it was part of the test), it took him a flat 45 minutes to label me aspie. And a second session of shorter length for him to label me PDD-NOs. No family involved. No history as such.

Anyway, just have to crack on.

One has to regroup, find one's strengths. Don't focus on your positive points, focus on your negative points. Be brutal with yourself and forgiving and gracious towards others. That is how one grows. It is called personal development. I know. I have a diagnosed disorder of it. Not otherwise specified, of course....

This has been a somewhat off the cuff, trite and glib post. I'll just leave it here:

Someone you may think of as a 'retard', for that is what we really are - 'retards' by common definition - I would never use the term myself in RL (though I am proud to be a 'commentard'), and I use the word unashamedly and unreservedly - may one day be able to offer you support on a level you never knew existed between human beings based on your experience of NT relationships.

And no, I'm not talking about 'have you tried switching it off and turning it on again' type support.

:-)

This is easily done

I picked up a lady of the night by mistake one dark night in deepest darkest Tottenham.

I had just got a new car and thought I would go for a midnight spin. One of life's little pleasures...

As I was just making my way out of Tottenham this lady by the side of the road was waving her arms and it looked as if she was trying to flag me down. I thought she might be in trouble so I stopped the car. Thinking maybe she just needed a lift. She opened the door and got in...

I ended up dropping her about 20 yards down the road. I don't which one of us thought the other one weirder.

It's easily done. At that time I didn't realise I was on the spectrum. It might have come in handy if I had got nicked. Really don't know how I would have explained that one, apart from telling the truth - I thought she was in trouble or that she wanted a lift.

Wonder how long I would have got?

:-)

"I hereby sentence you Mr. Hardleigh-Hadderchance...."

Cries from my family in the courtroom...

Wonder how long I would have lasted in prison?

As the judge retires from a hard afternoon's sentencing, slipping into his naughty schoolgirl outfit to get spanked into next week by a leather clad dominatrix.

Life just isn't fair sometimes I suppose, but that is one I'm glad I 'got away with'.

+fravia will be turning in his grave.

may +fravia rest in peace.

It only took me three words in google.

And I found this:

http://www.searchlores.org/photos.htm

Now, if you thought stallman was out there....

Mint search engines...

Mint seems to use different default search engines with their different versions.

Sometimes it is Duck Duck Go, sometimes it is Yahoo. I seem to remember one was a modded Google.

It's a bit of a pain when you are used to using one, but can be changed by anyone that ironically enough, can use a search engine. I use Google. I believe them to be evil. But they give the best search. I choose my women on a similar criteria. So shoot me...

I'm also a big windows fan. WinXpSp3 is just a masterpiece. I'm having a flame war at the moment winding up some people that didn't like my comments that win7 is not as efficient as winxp. I don't see what their argument is really, as winxp is obviously set to run with a lot less ram than win7. I have an install, I am proud to say of winxp that is on a 266MHz Dell with 64MB of RAM. It's fun to watch the disk swapping, especially so as the disk is failing and on it's last legs. HDTune gives it another 24 hours to meltdown. How did I get here?

Look, I love windows, warts an' all. I love Linux. I've only been using it for less than two years.

Stallman has probably forgotten more about computers than I will ever know. Shuttleworth? Someone said earlier that they knew some people that knew him and that he wasn't a 'bread-head' man...

I'm prepared to accept that. Maybe it was just a bad error of judgement. I don't hate him or Ubuntu. But, where I have choice left and can vote with my feet, I choose not to use Ubuntu. Leaves me with those prickly bastards over at Debian forums. I find their almost abusive nature almost endearing.

Please dear God don't let me become one of them ;-)

Btw..

I use an Ubuntu derivative called Mint. Though it is also based on Debian.

I use Debian more and more these days, as my Linux skills come up to snuff.

Debian forums can be pretty brutal, but Mint forums are often indifferent.

I got switchable desktops - lxde/xfce of Debian. It's a fast, efficient distro (Squeeze here).

The default search providers can annoy in certain versions of Mint (Katya for one), but they can be changed quickly.

But I would never install a pure Ubuntu. And that would be more along my dumb skill set. Instead, I go for broke and install Debian. God help me when I run into trouble...

Sorry for the ramble. Maybe someone would find it interesting what a dumb punter is using.

Debian expert installs to hard drive here. Oh Shuttleworth, where did it all go right?

I like Stallman

He's out there on the edge. It's a reference point. He's about as far out to the 'left' as you can get without getting into Kooksville. I'm sure many would disagree and say that he is the Mayor of Kooksville.

He's entertaining if nothing else, not in a John McAfee kind of way, but it's always worth listening to his sound bytes.

Anyway, wtf were Ubuntu thinking pulling this stunt? It's about the only distro I haven't tried out, though I use derivatives.

I would avoid like the plague anyone who did this. Bye bye Ubuntu. This kind of thing is beyond the windoze/free software argument. It's just plain WRONG.