* Posts by Montreal Sean

312 posts • joined 19 Nov 2010

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Plants in SPAAAAAAACE are good for you

Montreal Sean

Re: Weed

As of July 1st 2018, would Canadian astronauts be safe to grow weed in space?

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Malware hidden in vid app is so nasty, victims should wipe their Macs

Montreal Sean

Re: Was always going to happen.

I think you forgot the sarcasm tag.

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Android ransomware DoubleLocker encrypts data and changes PINs

Montreal Sean

@Kiwi - BD-R

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Bd-r

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Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

Montreal Sean

Re: I would NOT be expecting that!

I hear C3PO really likes it when Henry Hoover uses the beater bar.

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Is that a bulge in your pocket or... do you have an iPhone 8+? Apple's batteries look swell

Montreal Sean

Re: Jesus phones

Re: water into wine...

The phone does that already.

Get someone's iPhone wet and see how much they whine!

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Pumpkin bumpkins battle, 800kg monstrosity wins

Montreal Sean

Re: Pumpkin bumpkin

If it were a trumpkin, it would be the yuuuuugest pumpkin ever.

It would make America great again!

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Drunk canoeing no longer driving offence in Canada

Montreal Sean

Re: How Legal?

Legal to the point where you would be able to grow plants (up to 3?) for personal consumption.

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

Montreal Sean

Re: Had this from the IT tech side before

I worked as a systems administrator at an accounting firm for a few years.

This was just after they had absorbed a smaller firm.

It turned out that the smaller firm's IT guy had purchased 1 legal copy of Windows 2000 and one copy of MS Office and installed it on all 50 machines in the firm. He did the same with all the accounting software.

He was fired as soon as that was found out, and I was hired on. It was a mess to fix. It also wreaked havoc with our IT budget that first year.

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Montreal Sean

Re: those wanks..... us wanks

Chemical Bob,

Have a cold beer and a wank.

Relieve that frustration before coming back to the board.

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Mobe reception grief turns LTE Apple Watch 3 into – er, a dull watch

Montreal Sean

Re: Bluetooth & wireless still alive?

Good point. I go to more than a few server farms that warn you to turn off all wireless comms while in the server rooms.

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Montreal Sean

I don't know about you...

But when I turn off Bluetooth and WiFi I actually want it to be off with none of this backgrounding nonsense.

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'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Montreal Sean

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"Reaching out" implies you used your arm and "pinging" implies you used an ICMP packet.

I read that as using an ICBM, and thought that's quite a ping! :)

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'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?

Montreal Sean

"I would not, could not, on a train. I could not, would not, in the rain."

Ah, but in the end the green eggs and ham were eaten and enjoyed!

I see an iPhone XI in Dabbsy's future!

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Montreal Sean

Re: Probable cause

Sorry about the skid marks, I found a particularly fine Indian establishment last night...

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Infosec eggheads rig USB desk lamp to leak passwords via Bluetooth

Montreal Sean

Re: and this is why I'm wary of public USB chargers!

I have a charge only usb cable that I take with me, it is lacking the data lines.

Came with a cheap rechargeable flashlight.

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Montreal Sean

Re: and this is why I'm wary of public USB chargers!

A charge only mode has existed on BlackBerry devices for years.

You were presented with an option menu each time you connected to a new usb host.

Android started doing the same with version 5 I think?

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South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet

Montreal Sean

Armour?

Obviously they used only the best hard cheese.

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Google tracks what you spend offline to prove its online ads work. And privacy folks are furious

Montreal Sean

Re: This is why you want anonymous payments

Buying a car with cash isn't so hard, it just depends on how pricey it is.

I've bought many sub-$5000 cars for cash, and my brother in law paid $26k in cash for his first car...

Though I admit carrying $26k is not the safest thing to do...

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Fan of FBI cosplay? Enjoy freaking out your neighbors? Have we got the eBay auction for you

Montreal Sean

Re: Err.. listing issue

"Only one owner..."

It actually says "one previous owner", so the current seller is the vehicles 2nd owner.

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Montreal Sean

Re: After vacation

BO...

When I worked as a sysadmin at an accounting firm years ago, we got a new HR goon.

You could smell him the moment he entered the parking garage 6 floors below.

The smell of stale coffee, stale cigarette smoke, stale sweat, poured off him in waves.

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

Montreal Sean

Re: "I get to make a small difference to people's lives"

Or when they call you to deal with their CUPS problems.

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Montreal Sean

Re: It's an option

A cock up would certainly help in this line of work.

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NASA: Bring on the asteroid, so we can chuck a fridge at it

Montreal Sean

Re: Perhaps...

We should be eco friendly and send Schwartzenneger.

He always says he'll be back.

And don't call me Shirley.

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Sailor Moon? More like sail to the Moon: Japan vows to set foot on lunar soil by 2030

Montreal Sean

Re: Just ONE astronaut?

Obviously they don't consider the robot to be an astronaut. :)

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German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

Montreal Sean

Re: St Charles (aka King Charles I)

CofE is an Anglican Church, isn't it?

That would make it a Catholic Church, but an English Catholic Church.

Anglicans don't believe the Pope is the voice of God on Earth.

My Anglican Church is a high church and is frequented by many Roman Catholics who want a service done largely in Latin.

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

Montreal Sean

Re: But do customers care?

What I don't understand is Walmart already offers free home delivery for online orders over $50.

They ship by FedEx, CanPar, Canada Post...

We've had deliveries to our home that consisted of multiple 50Lb boxes.

Maybe they don't offer this in the USA?

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Dell kills botched BIOS update that murdered punters' PCs

Montreal Sean

Re: Dell Orange is the new Blag

Cap leakage is also the first thing I look for on Lenovo or HP desktops that act strangely.

At some point they were all affected, and all the caps came from the same manufacturer. I seem to remember them all being identifiable by an X on the top?

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Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Montreal Sean

Re: Damn it.

"career limiting move"

Maybe not, it might open up a new sideline business for you. :)

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Montreal Sean

Infected

"Are you sure my computer has a virus? I ways wear a condom while surfing porn. Can you come check me after you clean my computer?"

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PC repair chap lets tech support scammer log on to his PC. His Linux PC

Montreal Sean

Re: Boobytrap a VM.

I would guess that the scammer would copy the file to their own machine before opening it.

The scammer wouldn't want to be seen opening the file after all!

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Switch on your smartphone camera and look how fertile I am

Montreal Sean

I told my wife about the fertility check device.

She has decided it should be named:"The Jizz Whiz"

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Montreal Sean

Re: Disposable barbeques

But spade and quicklime can't do double duty as long pork BBQ!

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Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

Montreal Sean

Re: Hats off to them...

Turbos are too laggy.

I've got a supercharger button!

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BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

Montreal Sean

Re: Seven pints

Must be session beer.

:)

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Trump sets sights on net neutrality

Montreal Sean

Re: I'd equate Trump to Hitler but...

Attila the Hun had a firm grasp of military strategy, and a clear plan of action when it came to what he wanted to achieve.

Attila probably didn't lie, and then lie about lying either.

I'm not sure the same can be said of Trump.

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Microsoft nicks one more Apple idea: An ad-supported OS

Montreal Sean

Re: But will Apple file suit against MS?

@Steve Davies 3

Be careful what you wish for.

Microsoft will not release another version of Windows.

The next OS they release will be "Microsoft Ads 1"

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BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

Montreal Sean

Re: Working at....

I work for a large IT services company in Canada.

One of our large clients (a major petroleum corporation) has some pretty strict H&S policies for contractors.

I need to reverse the car into any parking spot at their petrol stations and put on a high vis vest and steel toe boots that protect the ankles before stepping out of my car.

I need to wear the high vis vest inside the store while working on their computers. And put on cut resistant gloves if I need to touch any cables under the counters because there might be rough edges on things.

We also have to fill out "work safe" forms detailing what we will be doing and every potential risk of injury we could encounter along with preventive measures to avoid said risks.

Even if all we are doing is replacing a mouse.

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Montreal Sean

Re: Yes for the Sony Walkman

I owned a couple of Sony minidisc players.

They were pretty good, once you figured out the crap pc software.

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Montreal Sean

Re: Series 5

Back in 1999 or 2000 I had a Rex5000.

I loved that little thing. Data entry on it was crap, but worked well when you used it to sync with the laptop app.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/REX_5000

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IT guy checks to see if PC is virus-free, with virus-ridden USB stick

Montreal Sean

Re: I use to work as a tech in the education department

Porn links eh?

Head teacher? Fnar fnar.

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BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

Montreal Sean

Congratulations you've won a trip!

Got a bunch of phone calls from a scammer offering me a wonderful all expenses paid trip to their new 5 star hotel in Mexico.

I let him ramble on for a few minutes and then when he asked for my credit card number to reserve my trip, I said:

"Wait, did you say Mexico? I was asked never to return to Mexico. There was some trouble with the cartels and some explosions..."

The phone call ended rather abruptly after that.

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VPN on Android means 'Voyeuristic Peeper Network' in many cases

Montreal Sean

Re: Another log on the fire.

My paid for provider doesn't collect data either, and when it comes to running on my Android it provides a config file for OpenVPN.

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Stanford boffins find 'correlation between caffeine consumption and longevity'

Montreal Sean

Caffeine and hugh blood pressure

Bah, my coffee consumption has nothing to do with my BP being 148/109.

OK, maybe a little to do with it...

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It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

Montreal Sean

Re: Insert a new disk and press Return

"may contain nuts"

Food labels have an allergy warning after the ingredient list in Canada.

The jar of peanuts? Two ingredients: roasted peanuts, salt.

Allergy warning? "Contains peanuts"

I should hope it contains peanuts!

:)

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Montreal Sean

Re: "... we saved electricity if empty sockets were switched off "

Turning them off when not in use would also make it that much harder for younglings to electrocute themselves when they stick things in the plug.

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Ransomware scum offer free decryption if you infect two mates

Montreal Sean

Re: Solution

Both people you infect need to pay up before you receive your decryption key.

VMs would end up costing you twice as much as just paying up for the first infection.

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Windows 10 market share growth just barely has a pulse

Montreal Sean

Re: @DougS

There are companies who have gone to 8.1, I know of one major Canadian bank that migrated to 8.1 with their last PC refresh.

Why they did it? No clue. Maybe because of the Surface Pro tablets they rolled out to management?

I think they are crazy.

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You want SaaS? Don't bother, darling, your kind can't afford it

Montreal Sean

@Yet Another Anonymous coward

"technology tart / technology journalist.

What's the difference between tart and journalist? Other than there are presumably things a tart won't do for any money"

Tarts dress better.

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Montreal Sean

Insurance companies

My insurance company managed to spell my family name correctly in part one of my forms, and then incorrectly in part two.

Took several months to correct, as each time they make a change they send out new documents with the corrected info. Each time they managed to fix one part and screw up the other.

Never caused any problems with.my claims though.

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