* Posts by Montreal Sean

415 posts • joined 19 Nov 2010

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Apple's revamped iPad beams a workhorse in from Planet Ludicrous

Montreal Sean

Re: The Pencil needs charging?

I love my Fisher Space Pen, and I've owned a few of them.

The mini and standard versions, only replaced because they got lost at some client site.

I don't remember them costing much either.

College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

Montreal Sean

Re: Drive mirroring.

@Alister

I've done the whole replaced the failed drive in a mirror set and copy the new drive to the old while out on a warranty repair case.

I hadn't done a backup first (not part of the warranty service), but I had asked the client if he had a backup before I headed to site. And again when I got there. And again after shutting down the non-hotswap "server" before pulling out the failed drive. And again when I inserted the new drive. And finally before putting power to the system.

When the mirror completed rebuilding there was no boot device.

Reboot, check BIOS boot order is correct.

Boot with a live Linux CD, both HDD completely blank. Crap.

Ask client for install dvd and backups.

They don't have either one, they had never done a backup.

I hope they learned their lesson and took backups from then on.

How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb?

Montreal Sean

Wardrobe light

The obvious solution to the motion sensor problem is to open the wardrobe doors completely.

The motion sensor will assume you are looking for your socks and helpfully turn itself off.

All good, leave it with you...? Chap is roped into tech support role for clueless customer

Montreal Sean

Re: "While you're here, could you just..."

Toilet seats are related to IT.

Core dumps and all that. :)

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it

Montreal Sean

One of my past employers had it right.

If we were being sent from Montreal to our head office in Toronto (by car, mileage and time reimbursed) for training that lasted more than a day or two, the company would pay the extra occupancy fee and meal costs for us to bring our significant other along with us.

It was a small thing in terms of cost, but meant a lot to us.

USB4: Based on Thunderbolt 3. Two times the data rate, at 40Gbps. One fewer space. Zero confusing versions

Montreal Sean

I'm holding out for USB5, to be referred to as...

USB Plaid

Correction: Last month, we called Zuckerberg a moron. We apologize. In fact, he and Facebook are a fscking disgrace

Montreal Sean
Coat

Re: Wow

@Jellied Eel

They've already done the ethical cleansing.

Do you see any ethics anywhere?

Ethics cleansed.

Customer: We fancy changing a 25-year-old installation. C'mon, it's just one extra valve... Only wafer thin...

Montreal Sean

Re: The dirtiest four-letter word...

@Mine's a Large One

I suppose it depends on the family, some might see three hours of fixing a relative's computer as a blessed escape from family gatherings...

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?

Montreal Sean

Re: Not Unique...

Why is it that those AT case reset buttons always stuck out further than any other button?

The reset button should have been slightly recessed, would have prevented so many accidental reboots back in the day.

Montreal Sean

Petrol stations

I work for a large privately owned IT services company in Canada, and one of our clients is a large energy corp with petrol stations across the country.

I have lost track of how many times I've been sent to a site to troubleshoot why the paypoints can't communicate with the petrol pumps, only to find someone had accidentally pressed the big red emergency shutdown button for the pumps.

How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables

Montreal Sean

Re: personal hygiene shortcomings

Personal odour overload!

At the accounting firm I sysadminned at once upon a time, the human resources guy's breath smelled so strongly you could smell him coming from the other end of the building!

I'm told it was probably a combination of too much coffee, too many cigarettes, and not enough brushing of teeth...

It's amazing anyone ever accepted a job after interviewing with him.

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

Montreal Sean

We have Peregrine falcons in Montreal, they help keep the pigeons in check.

I do wonder what will happen to the ones who live above and below the deck of the old Champlain Bridge which is scheduled for demolition in a few years...

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration

Montreal Sean

Re: 100% honesty 90% of the time

@Strebortrebor

Damn it! I keep telling Eddie to stay out of the continuum!

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Montreal Sean

Re: Not sure...

@DuchessofDukeStreet

You are obviously better paid than I am! :)

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

Montreal Sean

Re: Recycle Bin

Years ago I worked as a system admin in a small (120 user) accounting firm.

We migrated to Windows XP on all workstations, started enforcing quotas on user shares on the server, made a couple of changes to the way Outlook worked - including emptying the bin in Outlook on program close.

These changes came after months of info emails and warnings about said changes.

I lost count of how many users screamed the first time they closed Outlook because they lost years of emails.

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong

Montreal Sean

Re: Ah, the carefree days of yore

My wife was a little unsure about the Roomba I bought her, and then she tried it out.

She was so happy with the way it vacuumed our wood floors that she then ordered an iRobot Bravaa to wash the floors.

A year later and we now own 2 Roombas and 2 Bravaas, and they do a much better job than any of our cleaning ladies ever did.

Montreal Sean

Re: Ah, the carefree days of yore

@Mr Army

Have you angered your wife?

It almost sounds like she's collecting the tools required to dispose of a body...

Millennium Buggery: When things that shouldn't be shut down, shut down

Montreal Sean

Re: God Bless written instructions

@Gene Cash

I've always wondered what the "needful" was supposed to be.

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

Montreal Sean

Re: I don’t know why I’m reading this except...

Freud's first one. :)

https://goo.gl/images/7T7o37

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

Montreal Sean

Re: Poor Reliability.. better idea

@A.P. Evening

What's wrong with 18?

:)

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

Montreal Sean

Re: On a larger scale

How do you all have space for this amount of stuff?

I have been clearing out my house, I've given away 3 desktop computers, with associated LCD and keyboard and mouse.

I'm down to a desktop and a laptop.

I've cleared out boxes of old cables, cards, cdroms that will never be used again, car parts for cars I don't own anymore

...

It feels good. I've spent years (since my first son was born) feeling bad for not finding enough time to make use of this stuff. Now it's a weight that has been lifted.

I'm happier, and so is the rest of my family since that nagging feeling has stopped stressing me out.

The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time

Montreal Sean

Re: Nah.

"Was it really only 1/2"" dia? It seemed bigger than that. Maybe that was just because it was so inflexible."

Said the actress to the Bishop.

Microsoft promises a fix for Windows 10 zip file woes. In November

Montreal Sean

I wonder...

Is Windows 10 better or worse than Vista? ME?

Which one takes the grand suckage prize?

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s

Montreal Sean

Re: Ringtones are cringworthy

I need ringtones during the work day because my phone is my connection to all things work, and the way I receive service calls in the field. My phone is not always in my pocket so vibrations don't work.

The only custom ringtone I have is for my manager, AC/DC's Hell's Bells.

Apple macOS Mojave: There's goth mode but developers will have to wait for the juicy stuff

Montreal Sean

Re: Piles is a great name

Preparation H will be the tool that stops the runaway memory bloat caused by Piles.

Where can I hide this mic? I know, shove it down my urethra

Montreal Sean

Re: Castration anxiety

@Chris Miller shirt pockets.

Obligatory IT Crowd clip:

https://youtu.be/dXqFZOMgr9U

:)

Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Montreal Sean

@caffeine addict

Unfriend one of your cousins then it won't be so gross.

Microsoft: You don't want to use Edge? Are you sure? Really sure?

Montreal Sean

Re: Links to resolutions, will work with any browser

@Tinslave

Not true! None of those resolutions will let me install and run IE/Edge!

And thank $deity for that!

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Montreal Sean

Re: Sympathy for any employee, anywhere, since time began ...

Ah yes, experienced this recently.

It was brought up in a regional meeting that I wasn't HP Gen-9 Server certified.

When asked why, I told them that it had been decided (higher up) that it could not be justified to take me out of the field for 5 days of courses considering how few servers I repair since I am primarily a printer specialist.

Doesn't stop them sending me out on warranty repair calls for Gen-9 servers and then complaining that HP won't reimburse the labour...

Fast food, slow user – techie tears hair out over crashed drive-thru till

Montreal Sean

Re: Annoying call or annoying field engineer?

I feel the field engineer's pain.

More than once I've been called out to a data center to replace a failed hard drive where the client's call center provided incomplete info in the ticket.

The ticket is supposed to contain the server rack location (room, row, cabinet number) as well as the server serial number.

I arrive onsite, sign in, provide my ID and ticket number, scan my iris at security, then again at the server room door.

Contact the help desk to request the missing location info and get told they don't know what the rack row and cabinet number and can I just look for the server with an amber HDD failure LED?

Sure guys I'll wander through the 1000 server racks all of which have at least two servers with failed drives in them and check serial numbers.

Not a chance. Call me back when you have the info, I don't care how irate your client is with you.

Montreal Sean

Re: Do you want fries with that?

A BB-8 style prong with enough juice to power cycle the user would be more fun. :)

Montreal Sean

Re: @ Douchus McBagg

I miss laptops with optical drives.

I now have to carry a coaster around with me for my tea.

Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Montreal Sean

Upgraded the servers

Of course they've upgraded!

Don't you see the shiny new boxen?

Of course the internals are the same, the new internals having been pilferred by the BOFH for home use...

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Montreal Sean

Re: Jukebox

I seem to recall Fonzie walked over, closed his fist and struck the song selection panel in downward motion...

Little did people know, their super cool guy was actually a very early IT guy. :)

Montreal Sean

Re: Good luck!

@J. Cook

I've got two electric impact wrenches. They work really well, about as well as their air brethren.

The downside is that they are bulkier, both bigger and heavier than an air driven one.

I have one that is corded and does 250 foot pounds of torque which I use to remove nuts and bolts from cars, and a 20V cordless that is rated at 116 foot pounds of torque that I use to put nuts and bolts back on.

I've used them for exhaust systems, suspension work, brake work over several years and they haven't let me down yet.

For the super rusted nyts and bolts that I worried would snap, I would start with a propane torch and get them nice and hot.

I do miss the compressor and air impact noises though.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Montreal Sean

Re: Only cracking I have done is

I recently had a locksmith out to my house to fix the mortise lock ony 100 year old front door.

While here he also took a look at my 5 year old dead bolt I had added to the door for extra security.

The dead bolt is a mechanical Weiser SmartKey (https://ca.weiserlock.com/en/deadbolts/)

He said they don't recommend them because they are pick proof so if I lose my key they would need to drill out the cylinder.

Isn't pick proof an advantage?

Google weeps as its home state of California passes its own GDPR

Montreal Sean

Re: Legitimate business interests

@Chronos

"...I have a legitimate interest in anyone trying to con me out of my personal information being force-fed a large bag of plump donkey dicks until they explode. That doesn't make it right, recommended or a reasonable path to take."

I disagree, it is a very reasonable path to take. :)

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Montreal Sean

Re: At Mycho, re: mouse wheels...

@Shadow Systems

I replaced my stock mouse wheels with alloy rims made by Fast.

The traking speed really improved!

British egg producers saddened by Google salad emoji update

Montreal Sean

Re: More inclusive?

This would exclude my late father in law...

For him a salad had real mayonnaise, ham, potatoes, more ham, and thick cut bacon.

He didn't believe vegetables had any place in a salad.

In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

Montreal Sean

Re: World Gin Day

Shouldn't World Hangover Day follow World Tequila Day?

Android users: Are you ready for the great unbundling?

Montreal Sean

Re: EU not content

Docking a cell phone in a base station...

Sounds like the Motorola Atrix, it had a keyboard/touchpad base with a laptop style screen. You docked the phone behind the LCD.

https://www.cnet.com/news/how-does-the-motorola-atrix-4g-lapdock-compare-with-a-laptop/

Montreal Sean

Re: A sea of crapware

Samsung is terrible for crapware.

I love most everything about my company provided S7 Edge, except for all the Samsung apps that duplicate the functionality of the Google apps on the phone.

I can't get rid of them, and they just take up space.

Comparatively, Moto G LTE is not as great a phone (screen and keyboard too small for my fat thumbs), but the almost vanilla Android is really nice. And the Moto apps don't duplicate the Google ones.

NASA spots asteroid on crash course with Earth – with just hours to go

Montreal Sean

Re: El Reg Units

@Hot Diggity

I believe the sheep in a vacuum was the very first official El Reg standard unit of measurement.

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

Montreal Sean

Re: What on earth...

I'm shocked that his has gone on for so long.

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Montreal Sean

Two packs of A4 side by side...

On the older LaserJet 8150 you could get this really nice 2000 sheet optional tray which if configured for 8.5x11 gave you enough room to stack unopened reams of paper next to the tray.

And people tried.

I had a call out to fix one such tray that was making grinding noises and giving an error.

Turns out they had loaded the tray with the accepted 2000 8.5x11 sheets, and stacked 4 packs of 8.5x11 paper to the left of it.

Poor motor and gears couldn't lift all that extra weight.

Billed them for a new 2000 sheet unit. User damage and all that.

Montreal Sean

Re: In the early days...

@onefang

If you have to wash toner off your hands after handling laser printed pages you have a fuser temperature problem.

:)

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Montreal Sean

Happened to me.

I was replacing a POS system in a cheque cashing/Western Union store.

These places have very tightly controlled access, with thick bullet proof glass and doors.

One of the employees had gone outside for a smoke and when they came back in asked me to buzz them in.

I pressed the silent alarm button by mistake.

Who puts the door release button right next to the alarm button? And doesn't make the alarm button red?

The police response was swift. There were 3 cars and 6 officers with guns drawn, all within a couple of minutes.

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Montreal Sean

FreeBSD and BIOS disabled drives

@John Brown

That almost happened to me when I was trying out PC-BSD (I think).

Fortunately I happened to notice more than one HDD got detected during then partitioning step of the install.

I quickly shut down the PC, removed the install disk, enabled the disabled HDD and booted into Windows.

Once I determined all was ok, I shut down the PC and disconnected the IDE cable for my Windows HDD before trying the BSD install again.

Mystery crapper comes a cropper

Montreal Sean
Joke

Re: Just another high level government official

You can't refer to a number 2 as "doin' a DeVos", I don't think she can count that high.

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Montreal Sean

I really hate the support sites that pop up the instant messaging box asking if you need assistance.

I don't need a monkey reading a script, I just need the drivers for my server thank you very much.

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