* Posts by Snapper

265 posts • joined 8 Nov 2010


Straight outta Blighty: Readers, if you were a tech billionaire, what would you do?


Re: Opertunity

Lord, I don't know! Something something Mogg wasn't it?, Wrote five books on how to make big money in a crisis. I think he used them as suitable bed-time literature for the nanny to read to to the most Machiavellian of his spogs, who has grown up a fine figure of a man, with plums in all the right places.

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files


Re: Storing things in the Recycle Bin.

Been there, done that, eaten the T-shirt!


Re: A file so large...

What is it with Microsoft and their file systems? I was supporting quite a few clients in the 90's and early 2,000's that ran Outlook for Mac (until macOS 10.3 in 2003 Apple didn't have their own viable email client). Even though the Mac files were stored in a non-PST format library there was still a 2GB limit. As soon as you hit 2GB the whole library was toast.

Brit boffins build 'quantum compass'... say goodbye to those old GPS gizmos, possibly


Re: It's not a compass.

Could you use a.......oh, I dunno, a big calculator for that?

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes



I was wondering what the startled hott..>sorry<...young lady was so surprised about in the photo. Obviously her IT man has got her iMac working using PoE and, as that uses thinner cables she won't be using so much electricity and wearing out her battery!

Android Phones are 10: For once, Google won fair and square


Re: Sure Android is 90% of the market..

Get your facts right.

Microsoft brought a load of Apple shares because they were under investigation for becoming a de facto monopoly.

Because Apple's share price went up Microsoft easily got their money back very quickly.

And, of course, Microsoft stole most of its design of Windows 3 from Apple.

Rights group launches legal challenge over London cops' use of facial recognition tech

Big Brother

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Bearing in mind the nauseating hypocrisy of the people-in-charge who won't be on the receiving end of this technology but are quite happy for centuries of hard-fought for freedoms to live our lives without intolerable religious/moralistic scrutiny to be swept away, perhaps we should be very careful who we elect next.

I can see certain figures in a certain party who are probably getting unbearably moist at the opportunities to keep the 'enemies of the people' i.e. the people who disagree with them, under surveillance night and day. Woe betide you if you are a journalist or a whistle-blower and put your head above the parapet in future, as you'll probably find a kangaroo/public opinion court will be hastily convened and you, Sir or Madam, will be permanently removed from your career and life will be made intolerably hard from you in other ways that can't quite be explained, just as a warning to others.

You elect a party within a party with a different agenda that the one in the manifesto at your peril.

Stalin would be proud.

Windows 10 Insiders see double as new builds hit the deck – with promises to end Update Rage


Re: Windows is such a nightmare for users

'They might desire to fix that issue along with the unending security and operational updates.'

Are you taking your meds regularly? Since when did Microsoft EVER put the users experience first?

Tech support chap given no training or briefing before jobs, which is why he was arrested


Re: Back in my day

Best SAK for anyone wearing jeans and have that little extra pocket (which, apparently, is for a cowboys watch, and no, I don't know if that is a euphemism for something naughty and Brokeback Mountain was no help) is a Jellylite Manager. I must use mine 20 times a day and I feel naked without it.

Thin Blade for opening boxes and parcels.

Nail File and Flat Screwdriver

Ballpoint Pen for when a delivery arrives and you have to sign for it.

Phillips screwdriver/bottle opener/wire stripper

Small Very (very) Sharp Scissors

LED Light which, if held at carpet level, finds shiny bits really well, and helped me get six people down three flights of stairs in a power-cut.

Plus it's tiny!

WD's Purple reign continues: 12TB helium disks for vid spy tech


Re: Helium

Less resistance than air, so the drive does not have to work so hard.

And it can say so in a squeaky voice.....

UK Home Office's £885m crim records digi effort: A 'masterclass in incompetence'


"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

I think the Civil Service motto (above) now has to be seriously questioned.

Perhaps a Public Enq......Oh!

Mind the gap: Men paid 18.6% more than women in Blighty tech sector


Re: Interviewing fail ...

This now famous interview/fatuous 'feminist' argument made a lot of people realise just how slanted a view the media take and how they manipulate. Somebody sent me this as a comedy spat fit for giggles, but I think a huge number of people recognised how much attempted bullying and misrepresentation was going on. Luckily Peterson, being vastly more intelligent and calm. put her very politely straight back in the box she managed to get out of (probably with a great deal of help for others including men) that morning.

You can see it on Cathy Newman's face when Peterson says something. She's looking for a way to repeat it back to him/make it simple for 'her' viewers and at the same time make it sound ridiculous. She was so arrogant she went completely over the top even for her, and that's resulted in a huge new audience for Peterson and his message. The sign of success for him was when his detractors couldn't find decent arguments against his reasoning and did the usual lazy (but effective) thing of branding him 'Right-Wing'.

We also have to realise the degree by which the media is controlled/directed by groups who have very little interest in the subjects being discussed or the quality of the arguments/entertainment, but must also be aware of their objective. Which is to divide people into smaller and smaller groups gathered around single issues, so that their noisy energies drown out sensible discourse about the real and serious problems facing the country/west/globe.

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs



So if I was writing a book using Word (Oh God!), I could have my account interrupted on the whim of some jackass in Seattle?

Would that last sentence get through?

If my fictional story had the words 'President' and 'Assassinate' and 'Behind MacDonald's", would that get me thrown off, missing a critical deadline?

Would 50 Shades of Grey managed to have got written? OK, bad example.

Would I have to use the pronoun of choice for transpeople/persons everywhere, about 70 and counting at the moment, or would it get stopped as hate speech?

Could I use WTF?

This is the thin end of the wedge, make no mistake. If this starts watch as the list of actionable words or phrases that you won't be able to write or say increase, and the lawyers having multiple orgasms over challenges about adding or, far less likely, removing words or phrases that big business or politicians think it's a good idea to ban.

This is nothing less than another attack on free speech.

Crunch time: Maplin in talks to sell the business



Any good salesman knows that if he/she lets the hairless ape, and especially the hairless ape's better half, touch and feel things, it makes a big difference to sales.

Also helpful are expertise and knowledge, not necessarily in that order.

User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work


This just in!

Oh how I love DropBox and new recruits from prestigious universities!

This young lady had installed DropBox on her skinny, shiny laptop, and on her Desktop computer to keep a folder synchronised. Very good, top marks.

She moves 5Gb of important work into the DropBox folder. She then immediately shuts the computer down. Next morning, assuming the 5GB ‘must’ have synced with DropBox and her desktop, she starts up the laptop and proceeds to delete the files in the DropBox folder.

She then goes to her Desktop, starts it up, opens the DropBox folder and…….no files.

Quite rightly thinking that DropBox was at fault she started up the shiny laptop (graduation present no less, from Mummy and Daddy) and….dun, dun duuuuuurrrrr OMG! OMG! DROPBOX HAS LOST HER FILES OMG!

Phones me to see if I could ‘fix’ DropBox to get her files to show up. Asking her questions like “how long did you wait to let the files upload from your laptop before you shut the computer down?” with snappy answers such as “why do you need to know that! Is this going to take long?”, and thus forever taking a warm place in my heart, I tried to work out what had happened.

So her 5GB of files were not on the laptop, Desktop or DropBox web folder.

So, had she emptied her trash? Of course she had, to ‘save space’, and she’d also done what Daddy had always told her to do and used Secure Delete.

“Ok”, I said, keeping my fingers crossed “Do you have a backup of those files?”.

“Of course, that’s what I did last night, backed them up to DropBox!”

Airbus warns it could quit A380 production



The main problem with the A380 is the fact that it has to full or nearly full to fly profitably, so the airline has to have the requirement to find that number of people who all want to travel at the same time to the same destination.

Throw in the need for bigger lounges, infrastructure at the boarding gates and maintenance hangers, and the fact that an airline now has a very good choice of smaller but more economically efficient aircraft that can be used on more routes (see above), and it would be a brave purchasing Director who committed his company to the A380.

Flown in it a couple of times, and the height of the body makes the walls of the cabin seem far less 'tube' like and more spacious, very comfortable and quiet. OTOH the 747 felt like an ergonomic slum in comparison.

Brit transport pundit Christian Wolmar on why the driverless car is on a 'road to nowhere'


Re: I bet

One word: Tunnels

User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'


What do they teach.....

I was having a chat to a team head at a clients. Told him the (by then) decades old story of watching a new girl at another clients trying to get the yellow highlighter off the screen of a CRT display with a brillo pad.

Carried on with the time I saw someone put several dozen rows of info into a spreadsheet followed by a price in the next column, followed by opening a drawer, grabbing a calculator and adding all the prices up to type in at the bottom.

At this point everyone close by went silent, and one girl went very, very red.

Thou shalt use our drone app, UK.gov to tell quadcopter pilots



My kids were brought up on an unrelenting diet of Microsoft Office as 'IT'. Homework was usually prepared using PowerPoint on templates that were sized as US Letter, as it seems the teachers didn't know the difference. Hence all their work was squashed horizontally when printed on A4.

Don't know what it taught them apart from IT being boring and that mediocre results were acceptable.

Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems


Re: Less is more?

I see your point, but it wasn't actually sunk by the Swordfish aircraft and their torpedoes, it had it's rudder badly damaged and this fact enabled quite a few of the warships we had then (probably far more than we have now in total), to surround the Bismark and THEY sank her.

The detail, as always, is far more relevant. Think about it.

Microsoft scoops Search UI out from the gaping black maw of Cortana


Re: Winaerotweaker and Everything will fix a number of your complaints

Kin' hell!!

Why not just buy a Mac and have it done for you!

Strikes me that a lot of Windows users are secret masochists!

Apple hauls in $52.6bn in Q4, iPhone, iPad and Mac sales all up


New stuff

Totally agree

New Mac Pro Tower rather than that useless Spittoon/wastebasket with masses of upgradability and PCI slots. Apple might possibly just save their 'Pro' market, especially if it starts at a fast Adobe Photoshop/InDesign/Illustrator level and can be scaled right up rather than gold-plating everything for 3D 10K Video and making it too expensive.

New Mac Mini

New MacBook Air with a few ports.

Rosetta probe's final packets massaged into new snap of Comet 67P


Re: What are you looking at? Boulders. Perhaps with some organic molecules present,

Nope, Gabrielle Drake playing Lieutenant Gay Ellis was wearing a mini-skirt, I remember it well.


IIRC She was demonstrating that a surface without reference to scale was a problem when trying identify stuff on the aliens planet taken by a spy satellite when the distance/scale recording had gone dodgy. The engineers chose to demonstrate the problem by showing a close up of her >gulp< thigh.

I was a young lad at the time............

Oath-my-God: THREE! BILLION! Yahoo! accounts! hacked! in! 2013! – not! 'just!' 1bn!


Re: How did they get to 3 billion accounts?

Also BT in the UK.

Home Sec Amber Rudd: Yeah, I don't understand encryption. So what?


No, a ratchet spanner actually has a use.

Apple blocks comms-snooping malware


Re: Why can apps do this?

The macOS and the vast, vast majority of apps running on it are usually fine without Admin privs. It's the users/techs choice to allow them to install apps, set up printers etc.

Remember, Mac users don't have the same memories regarding security history as Windows users do >sarcasm<

London Tube tracking trial may make commuting less miserable


Re: 0.1 percent

You don't travel on the tube every day, do you?

Nah, didn't think so!

Provincial Numpty!


Re: Where are all the pickpockets?

In the same illegal campsite as you!


Parochial sheepshagger then?

If you can get the straw from between your teeth long enough to realise that using the tube in rush hour is a highly stressful exercise that the majority of Londoners are forced to endure twice a day during their working lives, then you might just get the other brain-cell away from the thought of a recent ovine hook-up and try it yourself sometime and see how you get along. I'd rate you at two weeks.

Outside London = Loser

Inside London = dead from cardiac arrest at 55 due to supporting the rest of the knuckle-dragger's from outside the M25 who spend their time thinking we are all rich and live like Jeremy Corbyn.

Whoosh, there it is: Toshiba bods say 14TB helium-filled disk is coming soon


Re: Fuck a duck!

Some of us started on Amstrad 8256 computers, with no hard drive. You had to load the OS and then the apps by shuffling the non-standard floppy disks around, a process that took several minutes, then used a 'data' disk to work off of.

Kids today.

Then I got a Mac Plus with no HD and '2' floppy disk drives......

User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box


They all noticed!

I replaced some 27" displays that were glossy and highly reflective (bright office with windows all round) with anti-glare/semi-matte displays with much better specs. Got a few comments from the mainly young and female clients that they were a lot easier to read and gave them less headaches etc.

Went in a week later to a deluge of whingeing because they couldn't do their make-up in the morning leaning over their (inevitably) orange keyboards any more.

The Internet of Flying Thing: Reg man returns with explicit shots


Call me stupid but.....

If we poor cattle can't take anything larger than a phone onto a plane, it's only the airline technical staff who will benefit, Shirley?

Kaspersky files antitrust suit against Microsoft


Let me get this straight...

Kaspersky is complaining about the ethics of another company who's reputation has been in the gutter for decades?

What the fuck did they expect? Free Unicorn shit with each computer!

I'm glad I deal with Macs and have lived a life almost totally free of this crap. I like to sleep at night not wonder what other 3rd rate bozo's are going to try and do me over. Apple's tried enough times but they just don't have the same bottomless pit of evil to draw on.

User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work


Excel can be used to calculate things?

A few days ago I was at a client's site early and got chatting to one of the guys there, and I told a couple of 'in the early days' tales. He liked the one where I told a young lady to highlight the text on the screen.


Yellow highlighter applied to screen!

Then I told him I once saw another young lady type a column of numbers into Excel, then reach across her desk to grab a calculator, tap the numbers in and then type the total into the spreadsheet.

At this point he stared past me at yet another young lady who was standing behind me and who usually sat next to him. Her face was bright red.........

Kremlin-linked hackers believed to be behind Mac spyware Xagent


Re: Xagent exfiltrate data from compromised Mac

@Walter Bishop "How does this Xagent get onto the Mac in the first place?"

You'd think the article would have mentioned it, would you not?

Two new dinosaurs walked from South America to Australia, via Antarctica


Re: There were only two of them?

Too right.

Walking all that way to Australia for a bit of peace and quiet!

That'll teach them a lesson they won't forget in a hurry......

Think virtual reality is just about games? Think again, friend


Re: Omaha beach

'Funny' you should mention Saving Private Ryan, as the scene where a German soldier slowly pushes a bayonet into the heart of an Allied soldier is an image I found highly upsetting in just 2D.

Seeing and hearing that as an immersive experience could be as realistic as standing next to it in real life, and I'm pretty sure that would not be good for me or a whole lot of other people.

Once it becomes cheaper and the technology becomes simpler to operate, I'm sure there will be many VR's created with effects for effects sake, just like Avatar. Horror and 'Action' movies could literally become like drugs, with people under pressure from peers to endure the most emotive and shocking experiences. Cue the provision of nurses and psychiatrists at VR 'events', although why you would take a trip to a theater just to get away from other people and pay, probably handsomely, for it, I don't know.

OTOH I can see the use of VR as a great relaxation aid, with the ability to chill out much like properly taught meditation can do. I can also see the appeal of 'flying' down the Grand Canyon with Pink Floyd playing.

Niche product at the end of the day, but it will be hyped as usual.

Steve Jobs' thermonuclear showdown with Samsung reaches US Supreme Court



Who are you and what have you done with El Reg!

I was expecting lots of snide remarks about Steve Jobs and how Apple should have ignored Samsung's 100% blatant copying of the iPhone, the icons and the packaging to the point where even the lawyers had to look really carefully to check which one they were holding up, because of 'rounded corners'.

Hopefully all those trolls have left and are working in supermarkets now.

Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died


"All I see is naval gazing.

JEZZA "I see no ships"!

I think you mean 'NavEl gazing', but then again, I totally agree with you, but it's what most hard lefties do innit? All "take the fight to the tories' stuff, ignoring democratic elections for their own tired little arguments.

Web meltdown: BT feels heat from angry punters


Power Outage

Power Outage you say?

So, let me get this straight, Harbour Exchange in London's Docklands, one of THE most important links in the whole UK network, does not have adequate provision for when there is a power outage, either internally or externally.

Effectively no resilience then?


F-35s failed 'scramble test' because of buggy software


Re: five nines...

Nine fives?

UK.gov's Major Projects Authority ain't saving us any money, say MPs


We get the government we deserve!

There are always two or three sides to an argument.

If we hound MP's (and their families) for the sin of having outside real world business interests and, presumably, previous experience that could result in a baying mob accusing them of everything under the Sun (deliberate pun) including drowning kittens, then we will only get PPE/OxBridge educated views and skills.

Of course politicians and civil servants are second-rate at running anything. If they were any good they'd be doing it in the private sector away from prying eyes.

You can't get rid of incompetent civil servants. All you can do is promote them to move them out of YOUR department. Seen it happen dozens of times.

Prison butt dialler finally off-hold after 12-day anal retention marathon


Re: I can see a marketting opportunity here

Or 'Stir'?

How to build a plane that never needs to land


Re: About as useful as a chocolate teapot


The Tiger Moth was not a WW1 plane.

How many Surface power cords are a fire risk? 2.25 million in the US alone


Is it just me...

Or have I noticed a distinct tendency of the fairer sex to REALLY wind cables very tightly. This happens a lot at my clients and SWMBO gets through a hairdryer a year!

RBS and Natwest online banking goes titsup


Re: So that's why...

It sounds like it wasn't the only cold pussy you had experience of that day!

iOS 9 kludged our iPhones, now give us money, claims new lawsuit


iPad Mini Mk 1/iPad 2 and iPhone 4S work fine

Ok, the iPad Mini Mk 1 is not very fast and battery life is not great (about 6 hours), but it works fine with iOS9, as do my iPad 2 and the wife's iPhone 4s.

We deliberately don't run Chrome, nuff said.

Cheque, mate? Barclays Bank borked as website, apps take cheeky siesta



You caught one!

Microsoft shelves 'suicidal' Android-on-Windows plan


Re: Biggest problem with Windows phone continues to be mismanagement shocker?

Wait a few minutes for the inevitable 'Apple is too expensive' call.

Point One: Apple don't make cheap plastic shit with minimum RAM and low-res screens that last a couple of years.

Point Two: If a Windows PC is made to the same manufacturing quality as say, a MacBook Pro 15", then they are usually the same price or more expensive.

Point Three: Windows PC's are for those who don't know any better or can't/won't afford quality.

Windows 10 out, users happy, PCs upgraded, my work here is done – says Microsoft OS chief


Re: And why not?

I think the icon (Windows User) and having to abuse alcohol and grow a beard because of depression is indicative of the level of sarcasm in use.

Either that or he's a complete tool!


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