* Posts by Andy The Hat

537 posts • joined 21 Oct 2010

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NORKS fires missile that India reckons it could shoot down in flight

Andy The Hat
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Re: Testing?

"Pretty soon we've run out of intercept missiles and the enemy has only had to launch once."

But in this case, the Norks probably only have one!

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Andy The Hat
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Testing?

As there are several countries with itchy fingers to test their ABM systems in a real-world scenario, wouldn't it be useful for South Korea to allow test firing from their land?

If the Norks put one up, the rest could use it for target practice. If their systems actually work (there's a moot point in itself) it should disuade the Norks who can't argue then it's over international waters as it was 'just a collision between two test fired missiles, oops'. And what will they do about it? Launch a missile against a proven ABM system?

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Trump cybersecurity order morphs into 2,200-plus-word extravaganza

Andy The Hat
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A name for his tweets ...

In future, in line with rapidly established policy, all pertinent (or derogatory) information derived from reports or preachings for the people to worship will be tweeted (in line with all cybersecurity report findings) by His Majesty The President ...

Henceforth Presidential statements shall be known as "Trump's Information Tweets" (TITS). Phrases such as 'Look at that TIT!', 'Oh no, TIT alert!' and 'Have you read what that TIT said?' should all be used liberally.

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Blighty watchdog Ofcom has a butcher's hook, clocks spectrum for 5G

Andy The Hat
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Re: Brexit Imperial Wavelength of 16.89inches

16inches? You're boasting again ... :-)

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Andy The Hat
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It's better

5G *must* be better than 4G because ... it's 5 not 4!

I can't get 4G as there's a blade of grass between me and the mast so 5G will improve my service no end ... won't it?

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Google mistakes the entire NHS for massive cyber-attacking botnet

Andy The Hat
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Please don't call me a donkey.

When did you last look into UK medical training? Perhaps you should.

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Andy The Hat
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Re: re: Unless it's the patients using google translate to understand the foreign staff?

... try Norfolk. Pick a hospital, any hospital.

I'm not being critical of their work (they're generally really good) but both patients and staff must be able to clearly understand each other where mistakes and potential death is involved.

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Andy The Hat
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beat me to it. One wonders why a service sector industry such as the NHS would generate 'abnormal' quantities of traffic ... Unless it's the patients using google translate to understand the foreign staff?

Sorry, bit harsh perhaps, but when I know good kids who are unable to get training as the number of places are so limited they can't get on courses and it's suggested they increase their chances by *paying* to volunteer if does hurt.

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Trump's cartoon comedy approach to running a country: 'One in, two out' rule for regulations

Andy The Hat
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Sweepstake time ...

How long before he stands too close to a grassy knoll?

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Kylie withdraws from Kylie trademark fight, leaving Kylie to profit from… existing?

Andy The Hat
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Sorry

I must apologise but whilst I'm fully aware of a certain antipodean princess, is it just me who has no idea who the rest of this article is talking about?

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Emergency Services Network to be hit by delays, warn MPs

Andy The Hat
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4G?

Some hope ... in the middle of Norfolk I can't even get 3G strong enough for a smart meter to run.

That's two government plans down the pan then ...

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Head of GCHQ Robert Hannigan steps down for 'personal reasons'

Andy The Hat
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Aha! Prime time tv ...

"There will now be an internal competition within government to identify candidates "

I don't think we should discuss who the candidates are by how they'll be selected ...

My suggestions would be a dance-off on BBC TV's new show "Come Spying" or a GCHQ variation on The Cube called "The Roundy Roundy Thing"

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Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

Andy The Hat
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Re: Military-industrial 101

"the unibody design common to almost every car since the late 90s came from this"

I could call you on that one then lay down the Trump card of the 1959 Mini ... not only 'unibody' but also a massively successful car with a transverse engine configuration which didn't have tracks, weighed less than 30 tons and, forgetfully, omitted a large turret ... Issigonis will be turning in his grave ...

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Google loses Android friends with Pixel exclusivity

Andy The Hat
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Browser lock-in?

The inference from the final graphic is that Android device producers are financially (if no other way) pressurised into installing Google search and Google chrome by default on devices. As Google/Android is in a position of significant market leverage, how similar is this situation to the 1990's MS Windows/IE lock-in case? Feels to me like Goggle are treading on increasingly thin ice.

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Auto emissions 'cheatware' scandal sparks war of words between Italy, Germany

Andy The Hat
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Re: public evaluation of how well US built cars

In the UK, the annual car tax is based upon CO2 emissions. Big selling point if you can get your emissions down one notch.

... mainly ... and until April when a new system of confusion and convolution results in a leccy Tesla costing a fortune to tax compared to a £30k diesel-guzzler that's smellier than a smelly thing ...

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Andy The Hat
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Careful where you tread Mr US Regulator...

Fiat effectively baled out Chrysler in 2014 before it completely sank. If the US was to hit Fiat Chrysler hard it could cause all sorts of US-centric repercussions if the small US Chrysler manufacturing arm once again folded. This one is NOT USA against Europe, it's far closer to USA against USA ... it'll be interesting.

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Laser beam sky mirage cannon can spy on enemies and generate Star Trek-style shields

Andy The Hat
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A bid for an anti-weapon?

Given the recent governments tender for a laser weapon, would this not only be the "ok, we can build you the laser weapon for £10squillion" but also "if we build you the laser you'll also need to buy this before we sell it to someone else and render your laser even more useless that it probably will be ..."

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BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

Andy The Hat
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Re: BT need to sort out CLI

I agree - the routing system cannot seriously connect the caller number 000000000000 to my number can it? Similarly the five digit numbers mentioned. If these are spoofed numbers, at what point are these numbers injected into the exchange systems as this is a significant part of the problem? However, if it can recognise invalid numbers, why doesn't the system automatically block them?

Will the 1572 service be made available free to all providers as an exchange service or is it a BT tool?

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SpaceX makes successful rocket launch

Andy The Hat
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Odd.

Isn't it strange how frankly amazing things like successfully landing a stage on a barge suddenly become a whisper and secondary to the 'non news' of the craft not blowing up like the one not carrying a Facebook satellite did?

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Renault goes open source with next-gen electric buggy you might generously call 'a car'

Andy The Hat
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In the back - it's apparently got rear passenger restraints (I hesitate to use 'seat belt' as I can't see seats ...) and there's no way a human shaped human could get in there so it must be for the dog.

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Top cop: Strap Wi-Fi jammers to teen web crims as punishment

Andy The Hat
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Re: Why would this happen-

... perhaps it would be more practical to immerse all their accessible devices with jam ... strawberry would be good for a first offence ... they'll eventually lick it off then it's end of sentence.

The nastier the condiment the worse the punishment - pineapple jam, lemon and lime marmalade, fluorescent lemon curd, really bitter thick-cut marmalade, rowan jelly ... perhaps finishing with habanero jelly ...

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Ransomware sleazeballs target UK schools

Andy The Hat
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Re: Up here

South of the wall the divide and conquer Academy system means that some schools have IT management others just have old computers on desks that a computer pixie will fix at some point - usually just before Ofsted are due ...

Watching a finance manager literally building a new workstation on his desk with not even a nod to the god of static but knowing your pay packet relies on that machine makes the skin crawl a bit ...

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Hackers could turn your smart meter into a bomb and blow your family to smithereens – new claim

Andy The Hat
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not quite ...

a) There's never a "twin and earth" connection between the meter and the CU in the UK ... please don't pretend to sound like an electrician ...

b) I didn't notice the statement that 'the wires would explode'. What can (and does) happen is rapid cycling of the power will kill some psus as the input surge suppressor will not have time to cool sufficiently between cycles. It's the reason it's good practice to leave several seconds between powering down and restarting a device. If you don't believe me, power cycle your most expensive device every second and tell me how long the power supply lasted before the psu died ...

Having said that, without individual device control, I would expect breakers to pop before too much died ... although using horrible US electrical installations may cause individual mileage to vary ...

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Apple sued by parents of girl killed by driver 'distracted by FaceTime'

Andy The Hat
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Judgement call ...

Perhaps the judge should sum up with words such as "A supplier cannot be held responsible for the inappropriate, illegal or plainly stupid behavior of a purchaser of their product."

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90 per cent of the UK's NHS is STILL relying on Windows XP

Andy The Hat
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Security concerns?

Chewing gum in the USB ports, WAN interface disconnected at the router, executables completely locked-down, any updates (unlikely) and data retrieval via one secure station and lo! A malware-free and secure XP network. As long as it has been running reliably it should continue to do so (give or take incompatible hardware *replacement* - not upgrade)

It works for the UK education system ...

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HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Andy The Hat
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... because she was already sold ...

Show me a scrapyard owner anywhere in the world that pays £x for something and when offered £x+n for doing absolutely nothing declines it. Perhaps the £15m was just wishful thinking?

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Ofcom fleshes out plans to open up BT's ducts and poles

Andy The Hat
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Can someone clarify ...?

I thought the idea of spinning off Openreach was to make it equal and open to all? (I won't mention cronies and hedge funds making a fortune out of it on the stock markets). If that is the case, why are we talking about other companies having access to the ducts/poles etc surely that will still be overseen by Openretch? If not I have visions of telegraph poles and ducts looking like those in Bangalore, the exchanges looking like my mums knitting basket and the whole lot being completely unserviceable.

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New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'

Andy The Hat
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Oh dear ..

Now't wrong with Peacekeepers ... Claudia Black ... err ... where's the tap for the cold shower? :-)

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Lenovo: If you value your server, block Microsoft's November security update

Andy The Hat
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End user ...

As an end user I don't see this problem. And, kindly, Microsoft automatically install my Win10 updates that will work 100% on the time and will never brick my system, alter its configuration or impact my workflow at all.

Thankfully, Microsoft have explained that they are infallible, always correct and there'll never be an occasion when they get it wrong and cost me time and money so I'm happy for them to continue.

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Whiffy kitchen after last night's chips? Clear the air with SPACE PLASMA

Andy The Hat
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Damp squib?

How is the plasma sustained in a steam atmosphere (typically common when cooking). I would have thought it would collapse as, at eht levels, the electrodes would be effectively shorted out ... Unless there's a really massive power supply hidden under the desk ...

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Really weird quantum phenomenon spied lurking near neutron star

Andy The Hat
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Read the paper ...

In a vague attempt to understand the 'polarised light' image I read the paper that is linked. Try it. Your brain will melt and it still doesn't help with the image but there's the vague amusement of several references to a paper by a scientist called Boffin ... :-)

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Nutanix makes thundering great loss, stock market hardly blinks

Andy The Hat
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I don't understand ...

Investment to build the company resulting in expenditure (debt) I do understand.

But how can increased revenues and a larger customer base, yet an obvious trend to eat cash with accelerating losses per customer, be regarded as good? There must be something else about this the market likes apart from the balance sheet ...

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Jeremy Hunt: Telcos must block teens from sexting each other

Andy The Hat
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Hunt/Trump?

Isn't this the social media equivalent of Trump's Wall? Hunt's "Impossible to Build, Bloody Stupid Naughty Fence"?

If this is such a problem (and I'm sure it is), ban under 18's from owning phones that can display pictures, censor all sms for obscenities (eg fucking, tit, Hunt) then force the use of computers under adult supervision. There, sorted. In addition the parents will save a fortune on phone bills and may actually get to see the kids occasionally ...

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Six car-makers team to build European 'leccy car charge bar network

Andy The Hat
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Re: UK Charging points

That's a bad overall example as the unleaded pump is a standard fitting, as it the diesel, as is four star leaded (where available) and all are standardised fuels.

Autogas is better as they have whatever delivery fitting the supplier decides and the vehicle owner can use an adapter to their specific vehicle if required.

The real issue is that in the case of fossils, you can basically find a nozzle that fits and squirt. With electric, not only must you get the adapter but the charge voltage, current and charge methodology must also match. Stuffing a 1Kv high power charger into a 240v slow charge car, even using the correct physical adapter, would be quite spectacular ...

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

Andy The Hat
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Vegans are hippocrites anyway

For those that don't eat meat based on the taste or husbandry of animals that's fine. But how many cry out because their phone was manufactured in a plant (sorry) where humans are forced to occupy small stalls for twelve hours a day in return for minimal sustenance, allowed only to sleep at night in small rooms and never allowed to see natural daylight?

Vegans have the perfect right to deny anything that involves mistreatment of animals ... as long as they remember humans are animals too.

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Lib Dems to oppose porn checks in Blighty's Digital Economy Bill

Andy The Hat
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Who's watching?

There are currently 46bn pages indexed by Google, that of course doesn't include the billions of pages that are protected by paywalls or whatever.

Are the individual pages subject to BBFC classification or just the domains? If it's the pages I guess there's going to be a big job advert posted soon for 'employment until blind and fed up of cats', if it's for domains, then sites like The Times and CNN should watch out as they have fallen foul of 'adult content' filters on a regular basis due to graphic depiction of dead bodies in war zones which would also fall foul of BBFC '18' classification but, in one story, would wipe out the entire domain as unclassified ... Remember, this is adult content, not just 'porn'.

And how are these sites to be found? Is it going to rely on the 'volunteers' from the "Mary Whitehouse was my granny" brigade to report every unclassified site they find with a boob on it as I can't see how they could automate the process of linking 'adult content' and unclassified pages.

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Ofcom to force a legal separation of Openreach

Andy The Hat
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Re: Be careful what you wish for!

It will end up like Network Rail where the Government ploughs millions of pounds of taxpayers money into it to prop up the Chairman's salary, so the telecoms companies like BT don't get massively, but indirectly subsidised by the taxpayer ...

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Half-ton handbuilt CPU heads to Centre for Computing History

Andy The Hat
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Nice ...

I wrote an 8-bit, semi-graphical processor simulator in Pascal under DOS about n++ years ago to show kids how low level programming really worked below the hood. It worked really well and they ended up using it for a few years but I probably learned more about processor hardware functionality than they did! Like the megaprocessor, it was initially a bit of fun that ballooned into something interesting. Later on someone wrote a much better Windows '6502 emulator' that was ... well actually a naff text emulator in a Windows box ... most disappointing.

I'm not sure that kids even get taught the basics of how a processor works any more.

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Deliver-oops! Takeaway pusher's customers burger-ed by hijackers

Andy The Hat
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Please!

In a story on fast food fraud, who would knowingly use the phrase "domino effect" ... then again, I get your point.

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New state of matter discovered by superconductivity gurus

Andy The Hat
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Who?

"... a completely different structure that breaks time-reversal..."

Sounds like the inside of the Tardis - is there a doctor in the house?

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International Space Station celebrates 18th birthday in true style – by setting trash on fire

Andy The Hat
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Fibreglass and cotton ...

so it won't be so much of a fire, more of a smoulder.

Well it would be on Earth but I guess in space no one can predict how you'll burn ...

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Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought

Andy The Hat
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Better selling this as a franchise. Sell the bottles to the franchisees to fill or, obviously at extra cost, with a 'customer self-fill kit' to allow tight or high-volume customers save money on refills. Then there's the markets for customised filling pipes, portable filling equipment, sanitising products, deodorisers, IoT connected fill gauges, the Asian, Caribbean and Amazonian snake-gas imports ... blimey there's a profit in this!

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Australia teases binning x86 for Power CPUs in new supercomputer

Andy The Hat
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Have I missed something?

On the one hand it's got to be hardware compatible with Win Server 2012, on the other hand it's got to run SUSE Enterprise Server ... is this an upside-down Aussie spec for a machine actually running SUSE but *could* run Win Server if they wanted to (as a nod to the competition gods)?

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Former Autonomy CFO indicted in USA for misleading investors

Andy The Hat
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Extradition?

Will there be a possibility of extradition? The UK are not allowed to extradite to countries where there is the risk of the use of torture. Trump has loudly proclaimed his support for US using torture ...

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Panicked WH Smith kills website to stop sales of how-to terrorism manuals

Andy The Hat
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Re: @Andrew Jones 2

Would you actually need a book to work out how to 'shoot and stab' anyone or would you just watch Rambo, Die Hard or any other Hollywood "blockbuster" produced since 1950?

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Britain must send its F-35s to Italy for heavy overhauls, decrees US

Andy The Hat
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Imagine the service call ...

"Hello, you've reached Turkish Engine Rebuilds and Kebab House. Press <1> for F-35 service, <2> for back of the factory cheaper parts and servicing, <3> for Doner Delights Kebab"

"I need an urgent F-35 engine service"

"Well, we're a bit busy at the moment. If you can drop it off the first week of December we'll try to fit it in ..."

"When will it be done? I really need the plane flying as we're currently having a bit hoo-har don't-you-know."

"Hmmm, Well, if I can get the parts - the USA doesn't like supplying us since we became a fundamentalist Islamic State and Trump dismantled NATO - it might be done in June."

"Not before that? The North African desert sand ..."

"Oh, Sir. Sand you say? The usage protocols specifically forbid use in windy or dusty environments. And <tappety tap> I see from the usage logs you've also been flying below 2000 feet over the sea ..."

"But it's carrier based ..."

"That may be Sir but your original contract said the carrier would be a white elephant, in dry dock being serviced most of its life and not used at sea. The salt will have played havoc with the engines gangol pins ... we'll have to do a full rebuild and ... you're looking at next August/September ..."

"<2> ...<2> ...bloody <2> ... Hello? How much is a used Harrier?"

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UK spying law delayed while Lords demand Leveson amendments

Andy The Hat
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Regulator?

Are there any rules and regulations for the operation of the state censor ... I mean regulator?

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European F-35 avionics to be overhauled at Sealand, says UK.gov

Andy The Hat
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Interesting contract ...

A 'private' company with revenues of £25m per annum gets a contract worth £2bn?

Think I'll be touting for F-35 business - on that basis I have a revenue of £10k and a motheaten shed which should allow me a £1m contract at least ...

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Brexit judgment could be hit for six by those crazy Supreme Court judges, says barrister

Andy The Hat
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Is this correct?

"the Supreme Court has very wide-ranging powers to create new law "

Before the creation of the Supreme Court the Law Lords did not have power to create law, only interpret it as the Court of Final Appeal. A fundamental part of our constitution is separation of Legislature, Executive and Judiciary.

If the quote above is indeed correct it means that unelected, indeed politically appointed individuals, have the right to make law independently of Parliament. That sounds anti-constitutional to me.

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UK will retaliate against state-sponsored cyber attacks, Chancellor warns

Andy The Hat
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Scary

The option to 'retaliate' against cyber attacks, state sponsored, state enabled or with no relation to the source state at all whilst not in a state of war is downright scary.

Defend all you like.

Investigate and subject perpetrators to the law.

Threatening 'retaliatory measures' against a state, that may not actually have sponsored anything but had a rogue actor or hacker spoofing sources, by bricking their power grid for instance is Trumping at its worst.

It sounds like Theresa May's glove puppet speaking ...

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