* Posts by defiler

961 posts • joined 18 Oct 2010

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Vodafone signs $550m deal with IBM to offload cloud biz

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Outsourced downsizing

That's all IBM means to me any more - a professional downsizing and redundancy system. Voda have just outsourced.

Good luck to those in the inevitable firing line.

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

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Re: It is possible to produce an idiot proof interface.

Akhter... Akhter...

Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.

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Re: It is possible to produce an idiot proof interface.

To be fair, I worked in John Menzies in the early 1990s, and the people there (while very nice) were not exactly ready to deal with the Computer Revolution. My boss could barely deal with working a till...

I remember when the Lottery machines came out, and there was an 'issue', which was really a lack of understanding. One of my colleagues was on the phone to Camelot (or whomever) trying to get to the bottom of it, but the machine wouldn't connect. I asked how the machine plugged in - into the phone line. What, the same phone line that you're using for that call...? She finished the call and the machine sprung to life. What a surprise...

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

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She's had a rubbery "bumper" cover on it since new, and dropped it on occasion. This time, though, it landed on the curved edge of the screen. That's it - new screen time.

Pricey as hell to change, though, so she's running her old S6 just now. Just like I'm running my Note 3 until my new screen arrives.

We'll have a look at screens once I've done mine and she's confident enough to let me near it!

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Lucky you. My Huawei is on its second screen, and the third is in the post. And I don't much care about a cracked screen unless it stops me operating the thing. (Shard of glass in my fingertip was unpleasant, though.)

This time I did it a good one at New Year. Still, cheaper to replace the screen in that than the wife's S8 that she's just dropped too!

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

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Re: The FCC, eh?

That is indeed the one.

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Joke

Reverse engineering?

Then we could build our own universe, complete in every detail. And without an EU. And Mexico can pay for it.

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Re: The FCC, eh?

Careful with the Small Beer...

Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire Grenadier,

Who caught his death by drinking cold small Beer,

Soldiers be wise from his untimely fall

And when ye're hot drink Strong or none at all.

Begone, Demon Internet: Vodafone to shutter old-school pioneer ISP

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Fastest I ever saw on dialup

I *think* it was 0131 3535 666 for one of the Demon POPs. I turned off compression and error correction, got 54666bps (fittingly) and ping down to 85ms.

And so to QuakeWorld!

Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

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Re: Peckham Spring

I personally like the bit where they claimed:

"It's just that Dasani is as pure as water can get - there are different levels of purity."

I'm pretty confident that drinking demineralised water is extraordinarily bad for you...

Wanted – have you seen this MAC address: f8:e0:79:af:57:eb? German cops appeal for logs in bomb probe

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Re: Genius at work...

He's smarter than you give him credit for. QR codes have error-correction built into them. He's maybe ramped that right up to level H.

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If the dude was able to come up with a QR-code for an extortion letter, he/she is most likely IT literate

Umm - not so much. I used to know a guy who started a company creating QR codes for peoples' adverts, business cards, whatever. I think my shoes are more IT-literate.

Note - that does not make him a bad person. It just means he wouldn't know a MAC address from a serial number.

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

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Re: Easily solved

but those need some element of goodwill to make it work

And from 4000 miles away, that's the problem I see. The two sides of the political divide don't seem to realise that they're there for the people, not for their own ideologies. There needs to be some kind of compromise. We get the wall, and we'll let you have universal healthcare. But we all agree that we need a few less bombers to pay for it. That sort of thing.

As it stands from here, it looks like each side genuinely believes that they are messengers from God sent down to cure the ills of humanity, and they believe the other side is made up of a big, thick soup of evil with croutons. What one side says, the other side will vehemently deny/refuse. Even if it means promising that black is white.

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Re: the Eagle Nebula dubbed the Pillars of Creation

Dammit, Dabbb! _Now_ you tell me I didn't have to calibrate my monitor for infra-red?

Well that was a waste of a morning.

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Nah, mate. I'm blaming Trump for shutting down a significant chunk of the US government. Wilfully and deliberately. You could point a finger at the Democrats for not ponying up the cash for The Wall, but they only loaded the gun - Trump pulled the trigger. Pretty sure that Obama was responsible for neither of these actions (although I'm confident I know what side of the argument he's on). In the end, the blame falls to Trump. After all, if you're going to drag ex-presidents into it, as Harry Truman said "The buck stops here."

Anyway, I'm on the wrong side of the Atlantic to give much of a shit about US Federal Budgets. We've got our own troupe of baboons trying to fuck our country. I'm just pointing out that Trump very much has a hand in how quickly this is investigated and sorted.

/me wishing very much that the USA could go back to being a little cooperative between Democrats and Republicans, because then one-track idiots wouldn't play the "the guy I voted for could beat up the guy you voted for" bullshit card - it's so fucking draining.

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Well, if Trump allows the government to get back to work then they can at least figure out where they stand. Whilst he sits on his hands, the staff that could be working out how to fix it are basically forced to sit on theirs too.

Would be a shame if they couldn't get it back on its proverbial feet, though.

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

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Re: Steamer Closet

I shit in your cupboard. Sorry.

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

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Re: The FBI paid him back in return for his services

Yeah - the Yellow Pages ads, remember?

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

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Re: A file so large...

Bear in mind that back in Days of Yore, a PST was limited to 2GB, and would throw a bit strop when it hit that wall, in much the same way as a car will throw a big strop when it races into a wall... I suspect the IT folks were trying to shield themselves from that kind of horror, without realising that they'd made it 1.5GB more likely.

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Like leaving documents on top of the bin

My dad did that once with a whole bunch of weekly progress reports for a petrochemical construction project, as it was the only available surface. Wasn't best pleased when the cleaners disposed of it... Luckily you could look out of the window to see the progress, and it wasn't something signed off by the client. But then he's managed to be a fairly lucky chap when it's counted. Could fall into the Clyde and come out with a salmon...

New side-channel leak: Boffins bash operating system page caches until they spill secrets

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Re: I'm curious...

This, and entirely this.

I'm just having a jibe at the people who are blaming Intel and Microsoft like they're the lizard people from the centre of the Earth, deliberately tainting everything with bugs, and demanding that everything is fixed entirely before downside money again. As you say, it'll never be fixed entirely. There'll always be another rock to look under.

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I'm curious...

Are all of those people putting off their CPU purchases also going to put off VM deployments until the paying system is fixed?

You're right. These problems all need fixed, but the world has to keep turning in the meantime.

Happy new year, readers. Yes, we have threaded comments, an image-lite mode, and more...

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Re: holograraphic love dungeon layout

Holographic Love Dungeon for Workgroups?

Found yet another plastic nostalgia knock-off under the tree? You, sir, need an emulator

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Re: From the back of the room

Me too. We can sit at the back of the room and smugly point to our 32-bit machines that could do in software almost anything the Amiga could do in hardware. And then lament the way it took ages for games to be ported.

Speedball 2, anyone?

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Compatibility was equally impressive

Well, it's UAE underneath - you'd expect it to be spot-on.

I remember (vaguely - it was between 10 and 15 years ago, I think) one of the then-owners (or perhaps not since there's been so much dispute) made a formal decree that UAE was "officially" an Amiga, and software could not be described as Amiga-compatible unless it ran correctly on it.

So, it turns out that your emulated Amiga isn't an emulated Amiga - it's a real Amiga.

(Still something nice about using original hardware, though - cracking out Virtua Fighter on a 32X, for example, is much better than using NeoGenesis.)

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

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Coat

Re: idiots like this

Mean while, they could at least make the dam images interesting.

Select all of the boxes that show images of dams.

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Audio Captcha? Bloody hell!

Last time I tried one of these I couldn't figure it out on three separate tries. And they can get a single website to beat it 90% of the time? I must suck!

Millennium Buggery: When things that shouldn't be shut down, shut down

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Coffee/keyboard

Putting off the updates for every whim basically now means that you don't get the option to put off the updates. Ever.

If it's really as farcical as you say, get out. Get your CV all polished up and move on. They'll just keep expecting you to pull miracles out of your arse every time. I've been there. I've done it. You're totally overlooked and unappreciated if they overrule you each and every time you schedule work on your own time. That's just toxic, and you'll never change it. And when a problem inevitably happens, it'll all be your fault.

I've been that guy performing an in-place upgrade of Exchange Server on a Wednesday night because the boss didn't want to use a VPN to pick up his email, and neither did his mate in Dubai. I've been the guy reinstalling the Linux boxes over Christmas via the iLOs from home. I've been the guy dealing with one group of people moaning that the backups are interrupting their work at midnight and you can't possibly do work on the servers in the evening, and another group starting at 8am, 4 timezones ahead of you. Nobody cares, and the best you'll get is some arse going "I don't care what everyone says - you're alright. <arf arf>". Looking back on it, I should have been out there a lot sooner.

Fuck 'em. Go. Run. Only look back from a safe distance to watch the flames. Good luck!

Icon for ESCAPE!!

Racing at the speed of light, Sage superhero bursts through the door...

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Re: Not me...

Worked about 5 hours extra, but managed to get to work the following morning, only about 10 minutes late.

I've been that guy. I'm sure we've all been that guy at some point, but I was that guy who watched the multi-site Active Directory fall to bits one Thursday, spent from noon until about 9:30am Friday trying to fix it, got home, napped for a half-hour, went to the airport and flew to the other site, worked there until 10pm, <hotel>, back onsite at 7am Saturday, worked until 9pm and had by then found the cause of the problems and fixed it, <hotel>, back onsite at 9am Sunday, worked through until about 3 getting everything tidied up at that end, back home, back into the first site around 7pm, worked through until 9:30am Monday, made sure that everyone could get logged in and everything was nice and stable, grabbed my coat and headed to the door to get an earful from a senior member of staff asking where I thought I was going.

Would have been nice to get an apology...

Also would have been nice if Bulldog hadn't spuriously broken the MTU on the SDSL at the remote site, which was the reason that domain replication traffic, file transfers and emails had suddenly gone to rat-shit, but pings were absolutely fine across the VPN...

I never realised I could function with so little rest. Good practice for kids!

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Deeply concerned about staff downtime

Nothing generates staff downtime quite like rushing a job. One mistake is all it takes.

Not blaming the individual doing the work, but his management should have been prepared to swallow a little idle time to get it done safely.

Also, if you're running around the office fast enough to tear your shirt off, you're running too fast in an office. That's my Health and Safety announcement for the day.

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

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Re: Perhaps they should apply the same rules on PCs on the Parliamentary Estate

If you can think of it, the ancient Greeks had a word for it.

Rule 34, isn't it?

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Mid 1990s at a solicitor

They had Netware 3, so it was an IPX network. Then there was an IPX->IP gateway, which (of course) logged website access. One of the senior partners was flagged in the logs on gay porn sites (interesting because he was married with kids), during office hours, and frequenting the subscription areas (which were paid with his company card).

We passed it up the chain as an external IT provider. The Managing Partner mentioned porn browsing (at the time she didn't know it was gay subscription whatever blah blah), and half the room went very pink and quiet, apparently.

Yeah - we use WebTitan these day - MITM for HTTPS. The cert is deployed by GPO. Fun, fun, fun...

Merry Christmas!

Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)

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Re: I learnt to test my WHERE clauses on a DELETE with a SELECT first

I tend to favour select count(id), so I just get the number of records. Usually that's enough to give me a good indication of whether I'm about to set fire to the week.

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Beware recursion

It has the ability (and knack) to make fools of us all...

Introducing 'Happy Quit', where Chinese smokers are text-spammed into nicotine abstinence

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Re: "which of the two habits is more antisocial"

I have smoked duck

I read 'dick'. Shit, I need a holiday.

Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD

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In Soviet Russia, Internet browses you!

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Re: Backing off

One of our clients used to use a Mac email application named after a bird you'd send down a mine to check the air.

Whenever his password expired, it would try to authenticate over 100 times a second. And that's across the internet - not even locally. His account would be locked in an instant...

We told him to stop using it, once the devs didn't seem to bothered about fixing it.

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

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Re: Check the die

then throw the die a bazillion times

Sadly by that point you have a tiny, smooth sphere and no markings left.

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

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Re: Strangely enough ...

Dark chocolate dipped streaky bacon

Not remotely surprising. I remember reading about a delicacy in Georgia (think Tbilisi, not Atlanta) which was cooked pork fat covered in really dark chocolate. First impression was "eww", and after a minute "oooh". Bacon can't be that different.

Also, The Simpsons came up with bacon and fudge, which sounds amazing.

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With a side helping of strawberries?

Which will be treated as garnish and left, given the last time I saw Americans eating bacon...

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They look, feel and taste like shoe insoles. Their sausages are substantially better, but that's because I suspect many brands of sausage have just about as much meat in them...

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate

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Remember that time when cellular data was faster than WiFi? And because of spectrum was always going to be better? And we were all supposed to ditch our WiFi and just use cellular data because it's awesome?

Aye. That.

He, He, more gassy whoppers: Toshiba spreads 12TB, 14TB drives across gaming and NAS disks

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Re: Evolve or die.

Mate of mine mocked me for Borderlands taking so long to load zones. 7200RPM spinner vs his SSD.

So I bought 2x 500GB SSDs and RAID0'd them. Nothing important on them, after all.

How fast is fast enough? No such thing, it seems...

He's not cracked RSA-1024 encryption, he's a very naughty Belarusian ransomware middleman

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over-enthusiastic tightening

Old British motorbikes used to use the TAF standard - Tight As Fuck. Then those bloody Japanese turned up with their reliable, fast bikes, all built to specific tolerances, and forced us all to actually think before applying a spanner.

I once cracked the oil cooler on my old Yamaha XJ - it was leaking very slightly, but just needed a new copper washer. I just needed to get home after rock-climbing. Blindly applying force without a torque-wrench once your arms are very warmed up, on a soft-metal component of substantial replacement cost is a damn fool idea. One clear "ping" later, and I had to ride home with waterproof overtrousers on.

No, this little nostalgia trip has absolutely nothing to do with the story. I'm just avoiding dealing with work.

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Aye - that's turnover. They said that he'd added $1000 to the price, and the 155000 Rubles comes to $2300, so just less than 50% is his cut.

Still clearing $65000 a year, though. Tax-free. I certainly wouldn't grumble about that...

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

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Re: Very good of you

Looks like a cheque too. Remember in the heady days of the 1990s when fractals were revered much like blockchain today, there was fractal image compression, and the spooks were investigating what you'd find if you expanded the image beyond the original which was fractally encoded (hoping to be able to create extra surroundings around the picture)? Nah? Just me? Could recreate a whole cheque then. It might even be worth me making the trek to a real branch of my bank...

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

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Naked labour

A friend of mine paints cars, motorbikes, guitars, whatever. He told me that when it's a hot summer he paints naked. The other option is to turn fans on (streaks the paint) or open windows (lets insects in).

I'm sure you could get a ventilation system that doesn't streak the paint, but he's a one-man-band and I imagine that would be quite bespoke (pricey).

He also used to work with a trainee who kept wearing aftershave that interfered with the paint... And no, I wouldn't want to see him working naked.

Intel eggheads put bits in a spin to try to revive Moore's law

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The problem with replacing silicon

...is that it's been so finely developed over so many years. Starting with something new is going to be a money pit for as long as it takes to develop it to compete with silicon. It may be significantly better in the long run, and it may be that the principles behind it are far superior, but it takes a lot of inertia to pass a worse idea that's been really well developed.

Three become six as new 'nauts arrive for a visit to the ISS

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Pretty brave

I wouldn't have wanted to be one of the three shoved into the first manned Soyuz after their little incident. Well done to them!

As sales slide, virtual reality fans look to a bright, untethered future

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Re: Lack of decent content.

It ran on an Amiga. It was 25 years ago.

As someone who had a shot of one of the old Virtuality headsets (and even the venerable Virtual Boy), I can testify that they've come on leaps and bounds since then.

They're not perfect, not by a long shot. They're much, much better than they were then, though. For simulators they're great. My Vive struggles a bit on some things, though. Could use something with more poke than an R9-380. And therein lies the problem. To get something convincingly detailed and smooth takes a fair bit of poke, and that takes a fair bit of money. That's what'll keep VR in a niche corner, in my opinion.

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