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* Posts by Jon Double Nice

286 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Jun 2007

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All-optical RAM to clear comms bottleneck

Jon Double Nice

'a material based on an indium gallium arsenide strip buried in gallium arsenide'

Oh come off it, that one is sooo obvious...

My favourite is this one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delay_line_memory#Optical_delay_line_memory - just bounce some lasers off the moon!

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News of the World hacker named after court block lifted

Jon Double Nice
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Re: Not quite on topic but...

For the microphone, just listen to the BeeGees turned up to eleven all the time.

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Teen hacker claims smut site hack

Jon Double Nice

'smut subscribers' - 'smutscribers'

I've been watching Look Around You, thants!

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Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Jon Double Nice
Facepalm

I might not be the first one to say this, but

finding dangerous creatures hidden in an icy lake, then applying radiation to them? So now we have mutated radioactive dangerous ice creatures? I'm not convinced these people have really thought this through.

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Moog goes boom with itty-bitty bass synth

Jon Double Nice
Thumb Up

WOOHOO!

Break out the patch cables and grow yourself a beard for MODULAR SYNTHESIZING AWESOMENESS!

Pop on a nice knitted jumper or white lab coat too depending on what kind of vibe you're going for.

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Quantum computing comes closer as diamonds get spooky

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Shirley now all they need

is a really hot cup of tea etc...

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Hands on with the Sony PlayStation Vita

Jon Double Nice

Super Stardust Delta

Looks a lot like Super Geometry Dust on the Pandora

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Rockstar officially announces Grand Theft Auto V

Jon Double Nice

This one'd better be good

GTA4 was RubZ

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MC Hammer getting into search business

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Somebody has to post this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8HRocU9WDo

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Which actor should play Steve in upcoming biopic?

Jon Double Nice

SACHA BARON COHEN!

SACHA BARON COHEN!

SACHA BARON COHEN!

SACHA BARON COHEN!

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Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough

Jon Double Nice
WTF?

Alps?

Not a road bike? FTW?

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Gibson revisits Firebird range with robotic refresh

Jon Double Nice

It has a 'prog' switch?

Does this make it play long winded fusion noodlings?

And

What no 11? They missed a trick there.

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Round two for Larry vs Larry Java face-off

Jon Double Nice

I think that after a pre-determined time

this should go to sudden death, decided by who can drink the most custard in 5 minutes.

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3D printing for artificial blood vessels

Jon Double Nice
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Don't forget

to hook up the doll!

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Valve pushes Portal freebie

Jon Double Nice
Gimp

Portals 2 has the best callback ever

and it is "1.5 volts" - sheer perfection

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Nigerians panic over killer calls

Jon Double Nice
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We're not

20 minutes into the future yet.

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Dyson spouts hot air

Jon Double Nice

Call me mental, but

if you're using a fan, don't you want to be cooler?

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Glow-in-the-dark kittens to help produce cure for AIDS

Jon Double Nice

"there are no immediate applications for HIV sufferers"

"...unless they have quite a lot of money and fancy a glow in the dark cat"

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Guardian pratfall swaps homepage for US insurance firm

Jon Double Nice

Guardian for Life

They certainly must certainly win something for use of stock photography.

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Google brings out new programming language

Jon Double Nice

I await the job ads now

"5 years+ DART experience required" - regardless of what the position is.

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Apple plan to rate shops etc by number of iPhones visiting

Jon Double Nice

They could also use this service

to figure out how strong the espresso is by how much faster you walk after you leave the coffee shop.

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Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

Jon Double Nice
Coat

How about a points system

For commenting "First!!!" (with any combination of caps and punctuation)

For posting 'First' and getting the first post, 1 point

For posting 'First' and not getting the first post, -the position of your post (i.e. 2nd post = -2 points)

At the end of the year, we check all the totals, and then everybody who has partaken in this game gets a kick in the nads.

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Gov pops lid on mighty £2bn PSN procurement barrel

Jon Double Nice

Bah

I thought it was gonna be some kind of ultra fast fiber optic broadband roll out prior to them releasing MW3 in order to have super online gaming fun time.

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Painters wrap Forth Bridge job after 121 years

Jon Double Nice
Megaphone

Like paying for PFI

This is the post bit, ya.

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Apple rumor mill predicts 'all new Mac'

Jon Double Nice

It will be this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noe3kR8KqJc

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Gerard Depardieu takes piss on plane, gets tossed off

Jon Double Nice
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Snakes on a plane?

Yes, I'm off...

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White Space: The Next Big Thing in networks

Jon Double Nice
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Relative rurality

In my book, anywhere that you have to wait more than five minutes for a bus, or walk more than five minutes to find a 24hr shop is rural enough.

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2nd-hand Popemobile, also used by Neil Armstrong, for sale

Jon Double Nice

I really hope that

it has a 'Pope Mode' button on the dashboard.

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New York police launch Facebook perp watch unit

Jon Double Nice
Coat

"troublesome house parties"

Kid 'n Play must be etc yes I'm just off.

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Lightning strikes cloud: Amazon, MS downed

Jon Double Nice
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Happy

You could mirror your sites in different AWS regions

It's unlikely that both Dublin and Virginia (I think) will both go down at the same time. Then the load balancer stuff should kick in to save your bacon. Just a thought. I only use the free micro tier, but my stuff is all hosted in the USA.

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Koreans produce $3m glow-in-the-dark dog

Jon Double Nice

They should make one with

just glow in the dark teeth. That'd really scare teh burglarz

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Educating Verity the OU way

Jon Double Nice

Wood Green eh?

Certainly not a fun place to be

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Over 900 police staff caught misusing databases

Jon Double Nice
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BBW, and its parent organisation

MILF

I can't think of a witty backronym.

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ARM daddy simulates human brain with million-chip super

Jon Double Nice
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If you've ever seen a monkey on amphetamines

You'll realise that just making them go faster doesn't really help very much.

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US Navy invents 'Zero-Power Autonomous' ocean probe

Jon Double Nice

I had a digital watch in the 80's

That ran on water, it was on tomorrows world and everything. Perhaps they could've just ganged a few of them together. I can't find a suitable pic, but I did have one of these too: http://www.mobypicture.com/user/postma/view/6018223 albeit in grey rather than purple.

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Sony unveils PlayStation telly

Jon Double Nice
Gimp

This just needs to allow for

Black Ops (or whatever) on one side, plus Corrie/food/celeb channels on the other, with some kind of headphone system that lets each person hear what they want plus room noise mixed in too. I'd buy one.

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Fort Worth joins crusade against sagging pants

Jon Double Nice
Windows

haha

So if it's up to individual bus drivers, what if one starts abusing the system, and makes everybody pull their trousers up to their ribcage.

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Verity Stob and the super subjunction

Jon Double Nice
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The bit about

English becoming dynamically typed is awesome!

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Modern Warfare 3 teaser trailer reveals terror on the tube

Jon Double Nice
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Controversial level in London on the tube:

You have to jump the queue for the Oyster machine and everybody tuts at you. Oh the horror!

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Renault readies sub-£7000 e-car for Blighty

Jon Double Nice

How many AA batteries would you need to run it?

I can get them for free from the stationary cupboard.

But seriously? Enjoyable open aired motoring? In Britain? In a city?

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Nintendo blames puzzled public for 3DS sales shortfall

Jon Double Nice

I understand the consoles value

And it's too expensive with no games that I'm that fussed about playing.

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The best sci-fi film never made: Also-rans take a bow

Jon Double Nice

Please please please please please please please

DO NOT MAKE HALO JONES INTO A FILM

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Facebook's data center play sidelines Google, Apple

Jon Double Nice
Coat

Perhaps it's a trap?

They release the spec, and instead of a processor it has a slice of battenburg, but the competitors are to hopped up on the open kool aid to notice.

Step 3... Competitors data centres don't work.

Admittedly I haven;t thought this through that much.

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No stranger to the moleskin trouser

Jon Double Nice
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I love it when people drop that one in a meeting

I always want to point out to them that they may as well ask "Can it be milked", but I want to keep my job.

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Slow Shutter Cam

Jon Double Nice
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Awesome!

And miles cheaper than a Holga camera + film + processing and stuff. If only it could do colour infra red...

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Anonymous DoS attacks thwarted with Aikido hip throw

Jon Double Nice
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Maybe they wore those pleated trousers

and shouted 'oos' when they did it?

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Jon Bon Jovi accuses Steve Jobs of murdering music biz

Jon Double Nice
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Mr Jovi is quoted as saying*

"..and none of the music has a tune you can whistle, not like the good ole days, tickling the ivorys on the old Joanna, and you could go out and leave your door unlocked..."

*didn't really say, isn't being quoted.

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Faster, Network! Kill! Kill!

Jon Double Nice

But what of the shoulder pads?

we must be told!

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Here's the crack about Infosmack

Jon Double Nice

"Storage God"

I picture him with lots of little hard drives and SD cards all around him bowed down and worshipping.

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BBC accused of coming out for porn opt-in?

Jon Double Nice
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For me it's the fact that it is a:

"Soap opera so transparently fictitious it might as well be set on the fucking Moon"* that stops me from watching it.

*To quote TVGoHome

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