* Posts by PhilipN

719 posts • joined 12 Oct 2010


Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

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Ugh. Do not know whether it was actually the graphics on a VGA monitor or (or as well as) splattering organs but I succumbed to something like motion sickness in less than 2 minutes. Is it any better on modern systems? Cannot try since just thinking about it makes me queasy. Ok so it was the blood and guts.

It's official. Microsoft pushes Google over the Edge, shifts browser to Chromium engine

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Re: Stupid Yank Phrases

As you wish. In that case I shan’t visit with you either.

Awkward... Revealed Facebook emails show plans for data slurping, selling access to addicts' info, crafty PR spinning

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Alternative business model please

Today's internet was built on the back of advertisers' dollars, yes? Was there another way? I am genuinely interested.

We all or most of us pay a monthly stipend for the bandwidth, not that much different in principle from the days of ftp, gopher, etc but would we have had all the graphical and multimedia content?

Reminds me the thinking is that porn was behind the growth of VHS.

Any advance on ads, porn ..... ?

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Re: I give you...

UV to FB* for the FZ reference

*The poster not the site

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

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Surprised nobody has yet said it

but memories fade, even about "embrace, extend, extinguish".

And the Browser Wars

And the DoJ case against Microsoft (q.v.)

At least MS have learnt : last time around they went with the NCSA Mosaic donkey. Now they are riding the competitor's thoroughbred.

P.S. I would not have wanted an Andreessen-controlled planet either.

Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors

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Re: A veritable smorgasbord of fixes

Yes - Classified as a fix as in “I am in a bit of a fix”.

Which means, allowing for British understatement, all hell just broke loose.

Ex-Autonomy boss Mike Lynch, finance VP Stephen Chamberlain charged with fraud in US

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"hit quarterly targets so as to pocket fat performance-linked bonuses"

Uhhh yeah? Thought that's how all US executives operate?*

So if sales are flat find another company to buy to hit the target by consolidating sales.

Even better make it an overseas company so the executives can go off for a jolly occasionally.

and again and again

*On the other hand I was a pimply-faced newbie in the City of London when I first heard the expression "window-dressing" to (cough! cough!) "improve" the balance sheet ahead of results time.

Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

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It's a what?

Must confess I look askance at people, and the animal, when they say "It's a XYZ/ABC cross". Some things are not intended by Nature.

Q: If Pesky Pepper had a peek at patient papers, at how many patient papers did Pesky Pepper peek? A: 231

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(for US readers)

Many of them have been there. Suffolk too.

Went to school there. Flew for the USAF there ...

Look up Feltwell, Lakenheath and Mildenhall

Huawei MateBook Pro X: PC makers look out, the phone guys are here

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Not surprised

Good article. FWIW since it is tangential I took delivery of the Mate 20 Pro phone a week ago and I am mightily impressed, not just with the phone but in the sense that Huawei are making some very smart, coherent and thoughtful decisions to push themselves up the sales charts in both phones and PC’s.

Bound to be in fact already is political pushback against Huawei but if this gives the PC industry a much-needed boot up the arse it is a Good Thing.

P.S. 32.5 cm tall? You mean y.... Oh the bag is 32.5 cm. Phew!

International politicos gather round to grill Dick, head of Facebook policy, on data slurping

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Love it! Phonetically almost identical to “F-Word”.

Think I’ll use that name as part of all my login credentials from now on.

Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg can't remember smear firm, but 'some of their work' crossed her desk

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Did you see it?

The main statement : “ double-check whether anything had crossed my desk”. Smart move - making sure first there is no paper trail so she can say whatever the hell she likes. How could she not know?

She ain’t presidential material though: they are past masters at “plausible deniability” without so clumsily demonstrating how they achieve it.

Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

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Re: You paid

You may need to explain to non-Brits that a Danegeld is a large dog which has been neutered.

Microsoft lobs Windows 10, Server Oct 2018 update at world (minus file-nuking 'feature') after actually doing some testing

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No no you have it all wrong

Not broken. NOT withdrawn. Just paused.

It was pining for the fjords.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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It works

Exactly. Coincidentally just before seeing this piece I was thinking of winding back a Mac Pro to an earlier iteration of the OS, under which a super-duper Esi-audio card not only worked but worked magnificently. Unplug/switch off the ‘net, plug in the drive with the FLAC’s/MP3’s and time to wake up the *****g neighbours. Now why would I need Mojave or W10 for that?

Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets

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Re: Attack the Source

Respectfully, seems you misunderstood the connection alluded to in my post between todgers and infants.

I could explain but this is one time I can felicitously say I can't be arsed.

PhilipN Silver badge

Attack the Source

No, that’s not what I meant.

I know this is going to attract an inflammatory response and, tragic it is that so many infants are at risk, might I suggest it would be better in those places where the risk is greatest if the blokes were encouraged to keep their todgers under control?

In memoriam: See you in Valhalla, Skype Classic. Version 8 can never replace you

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“..based on your feedback...”

Is what MS always say when they’re harpooning another user favourite.

Be happy : “The theoretical argument against democracy is, of course, that man being prone to evil, something external to him and indifferent to his passions must be put up to govern him; the people will corrupt themselves, but a despot or an oligarchy, when it has satisfied its corrupt desires, still has a wide margin over which it may rule well because it is indifferent.”

I was stifling a chuckle nay a guffaw while writing that. Must be ‘cos I take comfort from MS’ protection against you corrupt bastards.

Grumbling about wobbly Windows 10? Microsoft can't hear you over the clanging cash register

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Buzz words - the more times you say it ......

“Innovation” dates back to Ballmer - and he even remembers to say it again.

“Digital transformation” is a new one on me : count how many times MS execs use it in the next 6-12 months.

I wonder how much they pay the PR people to come up with these Orwellisms?

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

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Senior European Politician

Who's that, then?

Thought it was an article about Clegg.

Crucial P1 minicard flash drive? Not if you grabbed Intel's 660p

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Re: I'll never buy another

Same here.

That is to say I have forsworn getting another Crucial NVMe thingy.

Not because the one I got was crap (although eventually that was proven to be the case) but because I was too late (thinking the problem may be with my machinery - which is quite picky when it comes to NVMe - and then trying different formulations) to get help from Amazon, and when (per Amazon suggestion) I emailed Crucial to recover the ridiculous amount I paid they did not even reply.*

Once bitten .....

FWIW one of the things I tried was a PCIe adapter which takes NVMe SSD's. The Crucial one did not register. Threw it in the bin. Bought another - non-Crucial - and it is fine.

*P.S. I do not live in the USA so getting redress is sometimes too much of a PITA.

That 'Surface will die in 2019' prediction is still a goer, says soothsayer

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Will die - no

Judging by the number of punters at the Surface counter at the local digi-shop compared with those at other counters, it is already dead*

*Save for corporations finagled into buying them in bulk

Apache OpenOffice, the Schrodinger's app: No one knows if it's dead or alive, no one really wants to look inside

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Re: Reminder for macos users

"the NeoOffice engineers have continually added improvements to NeoOffice that you will not find in OpenOffice or LibreOffice such as:

Native Dark Mode

NeoOffice > Open at Launch menu to open Calc or Impress instead of Writer at launch

File > Browse All Versions menu to restore previous versions of your documents

Native file locking to safely edit files in iCloud Drive, Dropbox, or network drives

Native Mac grammar checking

Native Mac text highlighting

Support for Mac Services

Native floating tool windows"

And :

WordPerfect support

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Reminder for macos users


Fortnite 'fesses up: New female character's jiggly bits 'unintended' and 'embarrassing'

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Would you Adam and Eve it

“Unintended” and “embarrassing” sounds like a two-word summary of the story of the Lady and the Apple

Microsoft gets ready to kill Skype Classic once again: 'This time we mean it'

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Mossad branch office?

"Viber is ..... operated by Japanese multinational company Rakuten. .......The software was originally developed by Israel-based Viber Media, which was bought by Rakuten in 2014. Since 2017 its corporate name has been Rakuten Viber. It is currently based in Luxembourg."

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

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Re: Yesterday someone asked Alexa...

UV for any mention of ACC.

Now, across the globe, Alexas are going out, one by one.

I want to buy a coffee with an app – how hard can it be?

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Mind wandered ...

While thinking about this remembered getting DV’ed the last time I called out the guy who holds up a long queue of the caffeine-desperate at rush hour by using a card - the kind requiring a VOUCHER to be PRINTED and then he has to find a space on a busy counter to sign the thing. Bastard! All for a 2 or 3 dollar/quid cup of coffee. Was he claiming it on Expenses?

Point of the comment is time was - the time of pen and paper - you could ask the restaurant to write a receipt for a lot more than the actual bill. Now that is how to charge expenses. Course none of us ever did that?

Trump shouldn't criticise the news media, says Amazon's Jeff Bezos

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a comedy-act bully, racist, sexist, and bigot

You mean he's just a regular bloke, like me. [ducks for cover]

Brit armed forces still don't have enough techies, thunder MPs

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Who decides?

With acknowledgement to (a recent issue of) the FT, the C-in-C British Cavalry responded to the threat of WWII by ordering more fodder and second horses for officers, while the Wehrmacht busily developed the Panzer.

Easy to say he was a dumkopf but where did he have the authority to commission the design, construction and delivery of new battle-worthy tanks - and the formation of regiments to deploy them. And all else besides - a MAJOR and costly undertaking.

It wasn’t until it was almost two years too late that the politicians got organised.

So why don’t the MP’s put themselves under the spotlight?

After all, the soldier only does as he is told, yes?

Dust off that old Pentium, Linux fans: It's Elive

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Just this past weekend as chance would have it a live CD with the previous iteration of Elive on it was the first fossil I found in the drawer when I had to try and re-boot an old Mac Pro which had the flu. Booted, ran, GUI, the lot. Love it! Definitely will give this new-fangled version a twirl (knowing I can wind it back 5 years if the need arises and I shall be happy as a sandboy).

Pluto is more alive than Mars, huff physicists who are still not over dwarf planet's demotion

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Affronted lawyer here

I do not get paid for an opinion. I get paid for my expertise in formulating an opinion which suits the party paying. And as those statements prove I can lie for free.

And allow me to introduce my assistant, Miss Nomer. Her opinion is that Earth is not a “planet” because it does not wander. The term derives, I think, from the Ancient Greeks, feet planted firmly on Plane... oops Ecosphere Earth from which vantage point all other components of the Solar System wandered across the sky and ergo were planets.

Microsoft takes a pruning axe to Skype's forest of features

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Re: 'overcomplicated some of our core scenarios'

Above-quoted phrase and "asswipary"** - Great! I shall have many and varied uses for both from now on.

Less subtle than the Department of Defense [sic] "implementing a pause" in deliveries of the F-35 as opposed to "told the manufacturers to fix these issues or stick their contract up their corporate ass [sic]".

But nothing beats Ballmer's "We built too many Surface tablets" when writing off another billion dollars instead of acknowledging that "nobody wanted to buy this dog" and "our market research and projections were crap".

**Hope I am not being pedantary but shouldn't this be hyphenated?

Apple leaks rekindle some hope for iPhone 'supercycle' this year

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Not forgetting ...

Vocal chords and .... hey just put the SoC inside my head - plenty of space there. In fact I volunteer to be the first bionic cellphone.

[Whisper : I’m only half joking]

Distro inferno: Debian's still rocking at 25

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Thumb Up

"good thing"


Oh alright ...... "letters"

GitHub goes off the Rails as Microsoft closes in

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'The 1968 Combined Edition'

Helping out any bemused punters here : think back to when they were called "locomotives"

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

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Cupboards-full and more all the time - all the way from serial, parallel, printer, scsi, FireWire 400 and 800, usb 1 through XX, Ethernet, and not forgetting vga, DVI-whatever, HDMI, power cables galore, audio cables with 1, 2, 3 or more jacks, optical, RCA, DIN, and now Thunderblah-blah 1, 2, 3 ....

But why is it -

1. The last critical connector cable is always two inches short.

2. That immensely valuable gender-changer at the bottom of the drawer turns out to be female-female instead of male-male.

Better stop here I’m getting angry

Too late : Ever tried counting the contacts on a scsi plug to see which frigging one it was? Sh**t!!

Patch Tuesday heats up with pair of exploited zero-days squashed – plus 58 other vulns fixed

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Second reference in 24 hours :


(Just counting the first such reference on the above page)

Who else you gonna call?

Windows is coming to Chromebooks… with Google’s blessing

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"A better DOS than DOS and a better Windows than Windows"

Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?

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Wasp heaven

Cut the (bruised) top off an apple once and a fully-grown wasp staggered out from the core. He must have crawled in as a wee wasplet and couldn’t back out. Or was having a doze to sleep it off. Had no choice - after all wasps look and sound so ANGRY and the way they fly at you is so THREATENING - but to squash the b*****d.

Just imagine getting stuck inside a reasonably full barrel of cider and not even being able to drink your way out.

The age of hard drives is over as Samsung cranks out consumer QLC SSDs

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60’s technology

Thanks for reminding me of the expression “Winchester drive”. Somebody did the exact right thing back then.

Facebook deletes 17 accounts, dusts off hands, beams: We've saved the 2018 elections

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How to save humanity's self-respect

Brilliant idea - FB should freeze every single account - all of 'em - and require punters to re-register.

I'd be surprised if they have more than a few hundred million actual users. This whole chunk of the planet supposed to be on FB is bollocks.

PhilipN Silver badge

“push divisive messages to the US public“

Huh? I thought that was normal electioneering?

Microsoft devises new way of making you feel old: Windows NT is 25

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Re: Commonly known as "the triumph of marketing over technology"

Slight correction. IBM’s desktop salesman understood the market very well. They were desperate to sell boxen, which meant Windows, and no incentive to push OS/2.

AND MS would wield their monopolistic power by threatening to withhold information about the latest version of Windows (so it could actually run properly) unless IBM turned its back on OS/2. Ergo market opportunities for Compaq et al and the rest is history.

PhilipN Silver badge

Re: The hatred runs deep

And originates from long before XP, and even before 95. ‘Cos, for example, the favoured word processor early on became WordPerfect and whilst it’s series of owners tried to stay ahead of and then match Word feature for feature MS built undocumented API’s into each iteration of Windows to make WordPerfect explode.*

By comparison OS/2 had an excellent basic set of workhorse programs (Faxworks for example had a built in graphics subsystem so you could amend and annotate faxes, add signatures etc on the screen 20 years ago or more) then the developer’s website would suddenly and “inexplicably” disappear, the supposition being that the developer, understandably, succumbed to the Microsoft shilling.

*Remember there was an OS/2 version (5.2 if memory serves) of WordPerfect but at a time when cross-platform compatibility was essential (that is, until MS succeeded in making compatibility unnecessary) it was ill-formed. Basically a pig’s ear.

But then there was a Linux version too, which did not justify the name WordPerfect. Not just the ear - the whole pig!

Microsoft: The Kremlin's hackers are already sniffing, probing around America's 2018 elections

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"seized in as little as 24 to 48 hours"

Not clever.

Surely better to let them run and track what they are doing.

Oldest swinger in town, Slackware, notches up a quarter of a century

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Hats off to Slackware

My Linux baptism was with Ygdrassil but blowed if I can remember whether I tried installing it from 5 inch floppies or those new-fangled 3 inch ones.

Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

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Dirty bomb

Newsworthy because of the chance to use the above epithet.

From which it follows all (hopefully) bombs in the world are "clean".

Phew! That's a relief. Had me worried there for a minute.

Notes/Domino is alive! Second beta of version 10 is imminent

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I got it!

To keep down the layoffs IBM put whole departments into suspended animation. They just woke up Notes.

Very clever.

Who’s next? The OS/2 team?

Chirp unveils free tier of shouting-at-IoT devices audio net tech

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Believe it began in WWII?


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