* Posts by PhilipN

582 posts • joined 12 Oct 2010

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IBM turns panto villain as The Reg tells readers: 'It's behind you!'

PhilipN
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Own spelling ... and

IBM had its own everything.

Like starting the first of a bunch of program or OS diskettes, and the first volume in a multi-volume manual, at 0!

How many man-hours were wasted by guys trying and failing to boot or install from Disk 1, or start studying that new program or OS from volume 1.

Kee-rist!

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Apple iPhone X: Two weeks in the life of an anxious user

PhilipN
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Royal Courts of Justice

Tangential : When I first worked down the road the RCJ had just been sand-blasted from top to toe and were a gleaming light cream colour. And when I say "gleaming" I mean ray-bans were required on a sunny day. In old(er) British movies which take in that end of Fleet Street and the Aldwych you could see the walls went from grey at the top to matt black at the bottom, so the sand-blasting was a very effective facelift. Presumably the first time ever.

London smog and pea-soupers are a thing of the past - yes? It looks like the RCJ could do with a spring-clean, but still pretty good after 40 years. Oh alright 40+.

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Airbus warns it could quit A380 production

PhilipN
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"no choice but to shut down the program"

Poor choice of words which gives Emirates the opportunity to squeeze the hell out of Airbus.

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Infamous Silicon Valley 'sex party' exactly as exciting as it sounds

PhilipN
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Re: Definitely bullshit.

He gigged there but his remark was more likely satirical, based on Croydon - saff of Landon - being the most boring place on the planet.

As any fule no ID was Essex which - how to explain to a non-Brit --- put it this way : If Essex wanted to secede from the UK the rest of the country would vote pro- Essexit with much greater alacrity than they did the other **exit. And the borders would be strengthened immediately to keep them there.

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US shoppers abandon PC makers in hour of need

PhilipN
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Dazed and confused

'Course CONSUMER sales of PC's are down. Welcome to 2018 : Why would Auntie want to fire up a box next to and the size of a microwave to check her recipe for [black]/[bread] pudding? Why would Grannie want to struggle with a box next to and the size of a dishwasher to email little Johnnie and Joanie? All done on a phone, not even, or seldom, on a notebook.

What would be a lot more interesting and relevant is sales to companies.

Come to think of it what would be even more interesting is, given the ubiquity and multi-functional abilities of the desktop PC, how as a direct result the labour market for a given GDP has shrunk in 20 years.

I am going to stick my neck out here and say that 5 low- to medium-level jobs of a routine or clerical nature of 20 or 25 years ago should now be capable of being done by one person (trained, natch) and a desktop.

And even (it's OK I am going to stop soon) whole departments in larger companies such as internal mail delivery ought to have been mothballed by now.

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Beer hall putz: Regulator slaps northern pub over Nazi-themed ad

PhilipN
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Is it really the role of the state to regulate taste?

Thank heavens, no. Satire (q.v.) has been thriving in Blighty for 4 centuries. Most people understand when something is satire within a nanosecond. However, set up an agency to monitor "satire" then give its (originally completely normal) senior officer a title and an objective his discretion goes out the window and he becomes completely po-faced. Tiresome. And stupid.

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Apple agrees to pay £136m in back idiot taxes to UK taxman

PhilipN
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Rule of thumb for Government projects

Double the final "budget" and double the "expected" time frame.

Disturbingly accurate (give or take) - except for those projects which eventually have to be cancelled.

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You. Apple. Get in here and explain these iOS slowdowns and batteries – US, French govt reps

PhilipN
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Confession

As soon as I see "French" in the heading I stop taking the issue seriously.

Do I need to see a psychiatrist?

Disclaimer : Nothing personal. Some of my best friends etc etc

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Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation

PhilipN
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Heisenberg

Agreed. 1 Billion devices is a lot of rogue molecules waiting to happen

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Taiwanese cops give malware-laden USB sticks as prizes for security quiz

PhilipN
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Prize prizes

A former boss from long ago, old-fashioned monocle-sporting City of London lawyer, attended a banquet of the agricultural community. In the evening’s raffle he won a prize heifer.

He went up to the podium expecting to have to lead the cow (sic) off by the nose and figure out how to stuff it into a black cab. London cabbies can be obliging, but ....

Fortunately for him he was just given a certificate, was able to auction off the unwanted animal and pledge the proceeds to charity. Phew!

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If Australian animals don't poison you or eat you, they'll BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE

PhilipN
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Picking up burning/smoldering twigs

Would that be an African Kite or could a European Kite do it too if the twig is small enough?

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Brazil says it has bagged Royal Navy flagship HMS Ocean for £84m

PhilipN
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"known unknowns"

Yup how apposite, quoting as it does a former Secretary of Defense (sic).

I think that people still do not know WTF he was talking about, however.

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Of course we don't spy on our users, giggles China's WeChat

PhilipN
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Major company works closely with Government for business protection and other advantages

I was talking about Halliburton. Who did you think I meant?

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Hyperledger 3 years later: That's the sound of the devs... working on the chain ga-a-ang

PhilipN
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Re: Welcome back Register Authors!

Ditto

And welcome back to El Reg's lurking pop fan who cannot possibly be a millennial.

Chain ga-a-ang : this time Chrissie Hynde.

Does El Reg allow transistor radios (or whatever the modern equivalent is) to be played in the workhouse?

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Ubuntu 17.10 pulled: Linux OS knackers laptop BIOSes, Intel kernel driver fingered

PhilipN
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Jumpers

OMG welcome to the '90's when moving jumpers on the MB* was an absolutely almight b******g p-in-the-a!!**

But - agreed. Sometimes the "analog" way of doing things is simpler, quicker and more effective.

*and on disk drives and possibly other items which my memory has self-erased to maintain sanity.

**Remember back in those primitve times if you could not find the manual it was NOT available online and you spent all night trying different permutations of the jumpers. I am going to stop now before my hands start shaking.

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Republican tax bill ready to rescue hard-up tech giants, struggling rich

PhilipN
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“chronies”

Unix programmer whose typing muscles have built-in macros which he forgot to switch off?

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Autsch! Germany slaps Facebook in its abusive little face for 'limitlessly amassing data'

PhilipN
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So what else is new?

Mate of mine who is neither US citizen nor resident was stopped for speeding near Atlanta Georgia. He was a regular business visitor to the US and at that time owned a house there.

The cop entered his (non-US) ID data into the terminal IN HIS CAR and it spewed out my mate’s life history.

All you can say is - SHEE-IT!!

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'I knew the company was doomed after managers brawled in a biker bar'

PhilipN
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Re: It's all fun and games until someone's toes freeze solid and shatter,

Then there was the Medicine student in Adelaide who “borrowed” a severed penis from a cadaver, sewed it to his jeans (outside, otherwise right where it “ought” to be) and went for a walk through the town centre.

I reckon the Bill would have had a problem. After all it was not his John Thomas on display. Wasn’t even connected to a living human.

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Microsoft's 'Surface Phone' is the ghost of Courier laughing mockingly at fanbois

PhilipN
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Mechanical hinge

Are there any other kinds of hinge?

I mean, “hinge” necessarily means “mechanical”, yes?

A non-mechanical hinge would be more patent-worthy, but blowed if I can conceive what that could possibly be. I’ve heard of a butt hinge but guarantee that is NOT what you think it is.

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Erase 2017 from your brain. Face ID never happened. The Notch is an illusion

PhilipN
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Prefer authentication on the front of the phone

Balls! iPhone needs two hands to unlock the display. The Pixel needs one. (I have both)

They are taking a leaf out of MS’s book : This is the only way we have figured out how to do [whatever] and you are GOING to like it!

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Up to 'ONE BEEELLION' vid-stream gawpers toil in crypto-coin mines

PhilipN
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Monero

appears twice on El Reg today.

Does that mean I should look it up and incorporate it into my vocabulary from now on?

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Coventry: Once a 'Ghost Town', soon to be UK City of Culture

PhilipN
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Re: Derek & Clive "unidexter"

"I have nothing against your right leg ...."

(True fans know the punch line).

One of the best one-liners in history.

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Los Angeles police tell drivers not to trust navigation apps as wildfires engulf area

PhilipN
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Re: Prevention

Ta!

I had to look up RFS so if you were volunteering there - as they say in your neck of the woods "Good on ya, sport".

And what morons would choose to DV your post which was a direct reply, helpful and informative. Greenies - three of them?

In that case I shall put the cat amongst the pidgeons and state (I believe) controlled burns are overall beneficial to the local eco system.

Uncontrolled growth of scrub is not.

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PhilipN
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Prevention

Perhaps some kind soul from Dan Unda could jump in here but I thought Australia learned how to avoid the worst bush fires (stop sniggering at the back) by controlled burns when debris was just a light covering on the forest floor. That way the trees were not affected ergo high winds had limited impact - and/or fire breaks actually worked - and little critters had a chance to hop to safety.

Would it not work in SoCal - too mountainous? Although I can quite imagine the typical Californicator fighting like hell to oppose any such strategy - while submitting to police orders (!) to vacate their homes when a firestorm threatened.

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Someone tell Thorpe Lane in Suffolk their internet sucks – they're still loading the page

PhilipN
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Sydney ... in Australia

Why, thank you, Ewan.

But I think we know where it is.

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Elon Musk finally admits Tesla is building its own custom AI chips

PhilipN
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God-like

Well OK but I hope they do a better job than ..... Him

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Microsoft adds nothing to new Semi-Annual Windows Server preview

PhilipN
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Sounds onerous

I think you mean ominous.

Or both.

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Expert gives Congress solution to vote machine cyber-security fears: Keep a paper backup

PhilipN
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Preferred solution to electronic voting >

Eliminate all politicians

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the failest mobe of all?

PhilipN
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"crapitude" ... ?

Is this (and numerous other instances) a sign of a deliberate shift by El Reg to a different sub-set of targeted readership?

If so, please stop it.

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Want a new HDMI cable? No? Bad luck. You'll need one for HDMI 2.1

PhilipN
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So what else is new?

Remember SCSi cables? How ridiculously expensive? And how you NEVER seemed to have the right one?

Got a box full somewhere - and parallel and serial and etc etc* - which may come in useful "one day".

* Not forgetting a plethora of gender changers

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As Apple fixes macOS root password hole, here's what went wrong

PhilipN
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Emergency Patch

Great! Except it has ckufed up my office system!

I have to restore to the previous iteration of High Sierra.

Admittedly I am running an ancient Mac Pro but You Hef Bin Varned!

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Canadian court gives limited OK to warrantless Stingrays

PhilipN
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Stingray

All hail Gerry Anderson!

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Neural networks: Today, classifying flowers... tomorrow, Skynet maybe

PhilipN
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great, great, grandson

I think you mean great-great-grandson. Unless you wanted to say great, great great-great-grandson, which sounds sycophantic.

And by the way : imagine you are a cyborg programmed with machine learning and ask yourself "why?" such as "why do I want to get out of bed in the morning?" or even "Who gives a toss about these stupid flowers?"

Crikey with a semblance of humanity most days I (with certain physiological needs) do not want to get out of bed in the morning.

Skynet? Pfffffttt!!

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Aussie Catholic School forced into hasty cover-up over suggestive Saint

PhilipN
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Graphic

Our Maths teacher drew the usual X and Y axes on the board. Then a line proceeding (for the non-mathematicians) in a drooping North Easterly direction from the origin. A second line in an equally drooping South Easterly direction from the origin, you might say swivelled 90 degrees round clockwise from the first.

Bored 13-year olds start sniggering. "I don't know what made me draw that" he said (probably for the thousandth time).

Ain't nature wonderful.

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Windows Update borks elderly printers in typical Patch Tuesday style

PhilipN
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NCR

There was a time you would not have had to explain NCR.

Time before that it was a large electronics company

Time even before that there was actual carbon paper. Believe I kept half a boxful somewhere "just in case".

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World Vasectomy Day: 15k men line up for live vent-blocking

PhilipN
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A Eunuch's Life

And if done the Chinese way - prior to puberty - an anticipatory cure for male-pattern baldness? Is that still the received wisdom?

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How about that US isle wrecked by a hurricane, no power, comms... yes, we mean Puerto Rico

PhilipN
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Puerto Rico - What you do not see on CNN

Mate of mine had two daughters living on BVI with their families including one baby when the hurricane hit. Evacuated to Puerto Rico after three days with just the clothes on their backs.

He said the people in Puerto Rico had been "incredibly kind" with clothes and food and especially helping with care of the littl'un.

One day I'll share my tourist dollars there just to show appreciation.

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Thousand-dollar iPhone X's Face ID wrecked by '$150 3D-printed mask'

PhilipN
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Biometric Historical Fail (discretion advised)

Grandpa's thumb in a pickle jar.

Who needs probate?

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Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

PhilipN
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Digital warfare

My goodness. I attempted to open this article on a Pixel- C 3 times and Chrome closed itself.

I say "itself" but given the content of the article the Apple Underground were probably hard at work protecting all right-thinking members of society from renegade lick-spittle fifth columnists.

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Chrome update kills unwanted ad redir... WIN A FREE iPad!!

PhilipN
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One piece of feedback

Jesus H. .... Is this what you get when a 'net company is run by starry-eyed youngsters?

"a page will unexpectedly navigate to a new page"

Urrrmm... yes. This has been symptomatic of web browsers since Day One.

"for no reason"

Are you kidding? Let's say one of the distractions thrown at users was aimed at (cough) adolescent yearnings.

How much time and other resources do they expend on finding out the bleeding obvious?

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Snap: We've blown $3bn this year and Tencent wants to give us more

PhilipN
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Government's pal links up with Government target

One is US one is PRC. Which is which?

Answers on a postcard (for security reasons) to [address withheld for privacy reasons}

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$10,000-a-dram whisky 'wasn't even a malt'

PhilipN
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Ice or water - pffft!

When you quaff whisky you should first pinch your nose so it is not diluted by too much saliva.

Sheesh - Amateurs!

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SCO vs. IBM case over who owns Linux comes back to life. Again

PhilipN
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“that duty is separate from the JDA”

Bollocks

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Microsoft slowly closes Outlook Premium's door while Office 365 winks at you across the street

PhilipN
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Re: Meanwhile, those who currently have an Outlook Premium subscription

How James Joyce! I don't think "absense" is a word, but it ought to be.

In fact I know a lot of people to whom it would apply.

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PhilipN
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Re: NeoOffice and WordPerfect

Fairly sure it is explicit to NeoOffice. The history, if memory serves, is that WordPerfect was popular with academics, some of whom (obviously) were familiar also with Unix > BSD > macOS. So there is a happy band of fans watching over (I hesitate to say "maintaining" in the Linux sense) this feature.

Frankly it is a godsend.

The only (minor) wrinkle is that NeoOffice expects to see ".wpd" at the end of the file name. I used to use all 11 slots of the 8.3 filename system to make it easier to recognise the file, so the .3 portion could be anything. Now, it is dead easy to add .wpd at the end. I only have to do it occasionally, but for a large archive someone with the skills (not me) could presumably write a small program to add .wpd to all the file names.

Once that is done, assuming you have macOS primed to open .wpd files in NeoOffice the file icon automatically changes to NeoOffice. Job done!

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PhilipN
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NeoOffice and WordPerfect

Tangential but one of best features - one of the all-time best features in any program - is top notch support built in to NeoOffice for WordPerfect documents (of which I have archives going back many years).

The mention of WordPerfect in these forums usually gets a number of upvotes, which presumably corresponds to the continuing popularity at least of 5.1. (although I last used 6.1 - I am talking DOS. Microsoft strained every sinew to kill WordPerfect for Windows, building special code into Windows (I am convinced) to make it explode every time). So any punter who is a WordPerfect fan needs to know about this feature.

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PhilipN
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"fun to include formatting codes to text cut & pasted"

Spot on.

The number of times - seems with increasing frequency - I have to open a Word document in LibreOffice (actually I am on macOS so it is NeoOffice) to clear out the accumulated crap.

In a worst-case scenario I save the wretched document as rtf (!) as the nuclear option.

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Facebook and pals to US Senate's Russia probe: Pleeease don't pass a law on political web ads

PhilipN
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"everything Facebook stands for"

Which is....?

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F-35s grounded by spares shortage

PhilipN
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Re: F-111 : extrapolating a couple of the above mentions

Don'cha just *love* armchair idiots who cannot read.

Nobody claimed to be an expert.

What I wrote was straight from the horses's mouth being a guy who had flown some of the 4,000 missions by F-111's into Vietnam.

I did not say "Top Gun" I said "Top Gun type" in an attempt to help simpletons understand the nature of the guy who was speaking to me. Obviously the attempt failed.

I did not report what the guy said as gospel. I said "If true....."

And to those who mention Saigon" - why? I did not mention it as it was not relevant.

The sole sensible response to my post mentioned Operation Linebacker which was also credited by the US as causing the re-commencement of negotiations.

So the guy was not wrong. He gave greater credit (surprise surprise) to his branch of the military than was strictly justified.

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Google's phone woes: The Pixel and the damage done

PhilipN
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Re: Nice Homage to Mr. Young

Yup a (mangled) line from an NY song.

Thanks for that but I am wondering about this sub-editor. The other day it was Shirley Bassey.

Would (s)he prefer a job at the NME?

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