* Posts by Lilolefrostback

75 posts • joined 12 Sep 2010


I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™


Re: He should be proud that of that guy

Do companies still even use internal phone systems of any type? I've been with my current employer for 6 years and there's been no internal phone system during my tenure. Cell phones and the odd land line (I know of only one actual wired phone). Just shy of 2000 employees. There has been talk about getting a few voip phones for the meeting rooms, but they've been talking for several years.

Our hero returns home £500 richer thanks to senior dev's appalling security hygiene


Re: Bah!

It's always amusing to see security for tech firms set up by non-technical types.

Years ago, I landed a job with a tech company in Texas (no names). Not knowing anyone in Texas, I figured I spend some evenings roaming around doing some photography. I didn't want to leave my (film) camera in a HOT car, so I asked the head of security (retired police chief) if I could bring it into the building. No. Could I leave it at the security desk? No. Ah well.

Now, the interesting bit is that I could bring in a briefcase or backpack and it would never be searched. Never. So I could sneak in a camera. Or I could just print documents out and lug them home. Or I could fax the documents (no PIN needed) anywhere in the world.

Yes a camera could be used to steal valuable IP. But it would be the least efficient method at my disposal. SMH.

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned


Re: Let's face it, who amongst us hasn't lost a tie to the...

At my first real job, it wasn't just dangling jewelry, rings (even wedding rings) were verboten and for good reason. The computers contained batteries and capacitors that held sufficient power to amputate a finger if the ring touched the wrong spot.

I don't have to save my work, it's in The Cloud. But Microsoft really must fix this files issue


She's not entirely wrong

If you use Microsoft's OneNote (there are some of us who actually like it), it saves everything automagically from the get-go, so it can be done.

Further, far too many years ago, when I read The Design of Everyday Things (wonderful read, by the way), the author advocated things just like automagic saving from the get-go.

And even if they don't do automagic saving from the get-go, a better message like "Your work has not been saved. Would you like to save it?" would probably be helpful.

Let's talk about April Fools' Day jokes. Are they ever really harmless?


Re: Error Messages

Yesterday (Friday) 30 minutes before the end of my work week, I received a support request from one of our departments. One of their computers had had a pop-up stating that the hard drive was reporting imminent failure. Since I support SOFTWARE not HARDWARE, I was a little peeved.

When I read the full details of the request, I really did not know what to make of things. The pop-up had appeared more than a week prior. They had rebooted the computer and had been using it ever since. They were filing the request "for information purposes".

I reassigned the request to the fellow who manages their hardware. I still really don't know how to respond to this, but I decided to leave my work phone at work this weekend (I'm under no obligation to carry it outside work hours).

Comms room, comms room, comms room is on fire – we don't need no water, let the engineer burn


Re: Leap Out And Let It Burn

HR being Human Remains?



would you call the help desk? Would you not call the fire department?

When customers see red, sometimes the obvious solution will only fan the flames


Re: Simplified?

First book I ever threw in the trash was Webster's dictionary when I discovered they considered imply and infer to be synonyms. I'll stick with the two-volume copy of the Oxford dictionary I inherited from my father.


Re: Ive been the dumb user...

You're assuming that

1. Feedback actually gets to the developers.

2. The developers actually have the authority to make changes based on feedback.

Sadly, neither of those assumptions would be a good bet.

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath


Re: First step, tell them to fire security

Yeah, personally learned the hard way that stopping break-ins can be more expensive than a simple break-in.

My car was broken into twice at my apartment parking lot, resulting in several hundred dollars damage to the door handles each time (about the same cost as my deductible, so mostly twas me out of pocket). After the second break-in, I simply left nothing of value in the car and left it unlocked.

If you're wondering, the car radio was the cheapest third-party radio I'd been able to find. No thief ever tried to steal it.

A real head-scratcher: Tech support called in because emails 'aren't showing timestamps'


Re: Top-posting makes sense unless you're reading your emails weirdly

Don't know where you work. Where I work, the vast majority of top-posted email I receive is the end node in a chain of emails (i.e. I have NOT been involved in the email chain until long down the chain). And I do have to do the stupid reading process from scratch to really understand what I'm being asked.

What I really want is an email system that can dynamically reconfigure a received email from top-posted to bottom-posted and from bottom-posted to top-posted (I throw in the latter for the sick, twisted preverts who like top-posting).


Yep. I once worked for a division of a very large computer manufacturer. Our division focused on defence industry. Another division focused on desktop PCs. We were required to use only our brand of PCs. Not unreasonable. However, what was unreasonable was that it was cheaper for us to buy our own brand of PCs from the local university than from our sister division. That was 30 years ago and it still leaves me shaking my head.

Is that a stiffy disk in your drive... or something else entirely?


Re: Help! My stiffies stuck in the slot

It wouldn't be too bad, having printers on lots of desks except that, inevitably, there'd be a boatload of different makes and models, all needing different drivers and requiring different configurations. A couple of our departments have just that. There is no need to have different makes and models of printers. But the purchasing guys have to buy what's cheapest when directed to buy, so the printers are always different.

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?


Re: Well if the US ships want the Chinese to keep out of the way

"Handy how it's always a woman who's doing the stupid thing as well in the story."

A lot of these stories come from teh 80s and 90s. Back then, computers in offices (and homes) were new. Typically they first wound up on desks of secretaries, most of whom were women and had never seen the silly things before. It's entirely reasonable that silly stories like this from that era feature women. That said, my best stories from that era feature men.


Seen this writ large

Back in the day (80s), IT convinced manglement to implement proper document control. So, all document master copies were provided to IT (on floppy). Unless documents were being updated, no electronic copies were to be kept elsewhere (paper copies were fine as needed). The floppies were locked in a nice cabinet in IT. Okay, rinky-dink by today's standard, but a decent start for that time.

A few months later, we needed to update documentation for a multi-year project, so we asked for floppies. After a week, no response. Another request, another week, more silence. This is getting to be an issue as we have customer deadlines to meet.

Turns out that the cabinet was sitting directly over the incoming mains for the entire plant. After months of bathing in the lovely field generated by the mains, the floppies were blank. We had to bring in temps to retype the documents (thank God for paper copies) so we could make updates.

Hello, tech support? Yes, I've run out of desk... Yes, DESK... space


Re: A modern twist

"I had to Google to work out how to shut a Windows 8 PC down.

I work in supercomputing..."

There is nothing super about Windows.

All good, leave it with you...? Chap is roped into tech support role for clueless customer


Re: "While you're here, could you just..."

And the tickets may show a pattern that might lead to a more effective resolution.

"Gee, printer XYZ needed to be repaired N times last year. Replacing it would actually save us money, now that it's past warranty."


Re: "While you're here, could you just..."

Do not ask me to "fix" your coffee machine. I don't drink coffee so, as far as I'm concerned, fixing the coffee machine entails putting it in the dumpster. You want coffee? take care of your own needs.


Re: Have you ever ended up being roped into doing more tech support than you’d bargained for?

In the early 80s, when I was in UNI, I loved Hewlett Packard. Now, nearly 40 years on, I hate Horrible Products.

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it


Re: Driving staff away

I've encountered the reverse. My very first business trip ever was a short single day trip for a meeting in another city (specific details omitted to protect the guilty). Got up, ate breakfast, caught the red-eye (90 minute flight), took a taxi to the meeting, took a taxi back to the airport, had lunch (burger, fries, soda) at the airport, flew home, had supper at home.

My expense report requested reimbursement for two taxi rides, 8 hours parking at the airport, and lunch. And I got yelled at. For not claiming enough. I was told I should have claimed three meals for a total of at least $50 (this was mid 80s), not one meal for $6. I was making my coworkers look bad.

I claimed exactly what I had receipts for. When it comes to restaurants, I'm a paper napkin guy, not a cloth napkin guy.

Customer: We fancy changing a 25-year-old installation. C'mon, it's just one extra valve... Only wafer thin...


There is no correlation between the effort required to describe a feature and the effort required to implement said feature.

OK, team, we've got the big demo tomorrow and we're feeling confident. Let's reboot the servers


About that time, I was working for a major telephony equipment manufacturer. Yeah, it sound like a lot of money, especially when multiplied by the number of installs. However, it's very likely that the features paid for themselves within a month of installation.

A co-worker and I spent 6 months, so one-geek-year, working on a feature for 800 service. We charged the telco $100K per switch for that feature. We were talking to the telco rep a few months later and he mentioned that, on most switches, the feature paid for itself in a week. Needless to say, we were not encouraged.

Before you stomp on the equipment manufacturers, consider how much the telcos make.

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s


Re: Mice are not particularly intuitive

You cannot leave it there: what <emphasis/> are you driving?

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?


Re: Error messages

Ah yes. "screen shot". I'm horrified by the number of "screen shots" I receive wherein the affected user has used his cell phone to photograph the error message on his computer monitor and then emailed me the photograph.

This is done because the users do not understand how to take an actual screen shot in Windows.


Re: Error messages

The meaningless error messages certainly don't help. I think they tend to train our end users that pop-up messages should be ignored.


Re: Gah. Users.

This is why I do not believe that SETI will ever find intelligent life: based on Earth's experience, there is NO evidence of intelligent life in this universe. At all. Ever.


Re: Gah. Users.

It's okay to leave a note on the machine, so that other users don't waste their time, but DO open a ticket and write the ticket number on the note so that other users know that service has been requested.

Racing at the speed of light, Sage superhero bursts through the door...


Re: Not me...

Not a clothing story, but along similar lines (not as happy an ending).

One of our engineers stayed late one night to solve a problem for a customer. Worked about 5 hours extra, but managed to get to work the following morning, only about 10 minutes late. Well, one of the gits from mahogany row was at the employee entrance with a stopwatch and gave him an earful for being late (didn't even ask why he was late, even though he knew that engineer was a very professional lad).

Engineer took the full brunt of it and then proceeded to find his manager to inform him that he, the engineer, would be working normal hours and nothing more thereafter. He left a few months later, and it was a definite loss to the company.

That was my first introduction to MBAs. I've see little to indicate that that incident was not representative of the typical MBA.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


Re: Speaking of shitty equipment

Wow. I wish.

One group at work puts together large document stacks to be sent to a client (before anyone starts in on "why don't you do it electronically?", there are LEGAL reasons for paper. Every person in that group has their own printer. Just about every printer is a unique make/model. Nightmare. There is no reason for it at all - any of the printers in use would suit all of the users. The folks that buy printers simply look for the best deal. Except that having to support umpty different printers is not the best deal.


Re: It's 2018

The key point in your post being "sort-of". Yes, they all know how to use facebook and twitter and, maybe, email. They can probably get on Amazon and order stuff. But they probably cannot use Word or Excel beyond the most basic of activities.

And, more to the point, they do not understand what is going on behind the scenes. They don't understand what file systems do for them. Or do not do for them. They do not seem to understand that the things they can do with a mouse on program X may well work on program Y. Many of them have no clue about keyboard shortcuts (even the very common shortcuts).

I've suggested, several times, to my mangler that we (corporation) need to train our users better. His response is always that we (IT) do not do training - that's the job of the training dept. All well and good, but, in that case, we (IT) need to communicate the clear needs that we have identified to training (and probably help training develop the curriculum). But IT has no interest in that. And, of course, our users' manglers believe that our users already know how to use computers so they don't need further training. And so, our users muddle along, making infuriatingly stupid hell-desk calls as they need to.

Sorry for the rant (although I expect many others have the same sad story).

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab


Not technical, but appropriate ...

Have you noticed that (bag) pipers often walk around whilst playing? Do you know why? They're trying to get away from the horrible noise.


Not technical, but typical.

I generally count the offering at church, with another fellow (for accountability). We have a nice little box that contains all the kit for counting, recording and preparing for the bank. Included in that kit are several ball-point pens. I cannot count the number of times that the other fellow has pulled out a pen, found it non-functional, and put it right back in the box. I presume he's expecting a miraculous recovery.

I usually grab the pen and drop it in the bin.

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work


Re: Diagnostic process

Thanks for using "chresmomancy". It was a new word to me, and I love encountering new words.

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit


Re: It happened to colour TVs, too....

Just imagine what that did to their lungs.


Re: It happened to colour TVs, too....

Long time ago (> 20 years), our team was being upgraded from dumb terminals connected to the mainframe to UNIX workstations (HP or Sun - don't recall) with lovely hi-res colour monitors. Two of us ran into problems - the colour monitors went crazy. They tried multiple monitors in both cubes - no joy. After about a day's investigation, it was determined that we were sitting directly over the incoming power mains for the entire building. And, oh, by the way, no one should be sitting in those cubes as the magnetic field was too high to be safe.


It only took them a couple of months to find us new cubes.

And still no super powers.


Re: Why is it always the cleaners?

Typically, you get what you pay for.

If you hire the cheapest people available to do the cleaning, you will probably get the least capable, least interested people doing the cleaning. If you choose to pay a bit more, you stand the chance of having reliable interested people doing your cleaning.

Fast food, slow user – techie tears hair out over crashed drive-thru till


Re: Do you want fries with that?

Maybe in Europe. In Canada, I'd expect acne from McDonald's staff.

Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn


Re: Not in IT...

After working with a few MBAs, I find it hard not to assume "MBA" stands for "Mostly Braindead Arse". Maybe my dataset is too small? I hope?


Re: But offshoring is cheap!

My first job out of UNI was in defence industry. The charge to the customers for my time was known as "burdened rate", which was about 3 times my actual salary. Had to cover payroll taxes, pension plan, health plan, office space I used, profit, etc.

In that job, I also learned the value of institutional memory.

Any management weenie who thinks that outsourcing anything but the most menial of tasks saves money deserves the trouble he gets by outsourcing.


Re: Not in IT...

Nothing in my CV indicates that I am a (competent) trainer. I can do a decent handover to a similarly qualified person. But I am not competent to train someone several steps below me to do my job, although, if need be, I'll do my best.

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything


Re: best collective noun...

Here in Canada, we refer to a collection of clowns as "parliament".


Re: Entering New Zealand

For any group of managers (type doesn't matter), I prefer the term "a mangle".

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside


Re: Staff don’t care about access to the computers

Sometimes, the rules are just out of date. Mid 90s, I started a new job in Dallas. Being new to the place, I figured I'd take my camera to work and drive around doing some photography after work. But it was hot enough that I didn't want to leave the camera in the car all day, so, during a security briefing from the head of security, I asked whether I could check my camera at the security desk. No such luck. No cameras as they didn't want to risk corporate spies photographing boards or code or what have you.

Fair enough. But brief cases were not checked on the way out, so I could have stuffed my brief case with any number of interesting things. And the fax machines were totally unsecured, so I could have faxed documents anywhere on the planet without having to identify myself. So, great. They'd made it impossible for me to use the least effective method of corporate espionage while leaving far more modern and effective methods easy to use. Good job.

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster


Re: In the early days...

In the mid 90s, I moved to the Dallas area. Not being certain about flight availability, I booked my flight home for Christmas in early September. The travel agent gave me my tickets, which I put in a drawer in the kitchen.

The day before I was due to fly home, I pulled out the tickets to verify the flights, etc. To my shock, the tickets were entirely black. The drawer was next to the dish washer and the tickets were printed on thermal paper. Oops. Mad rush to the travel agent.

Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park


Re: smoke, try flames

"Seems that a lot of us have potential Darwin Nominees for users. <sigh> I seriously wonder how they ever made it to adulthood."

Well, here in Canada, about half the population has a below-average IQ. Personally, I blame the government.


Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

Y'all must have a different type of conveyor belt toaster in England than are found in North America. I've travelled widely in North America and have used lots of conveyor belt toasters. Never had the slightest problem. Two runs through the machine usually gets me nice dark brown toast.

Maybe your idiots are better (worse?) than ours.

CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years


Re: Many years ago..

It seems to be a common issue: Create a service or scheduled task to do something useful, which is great, but there is no central repository that lists the service, what it does, where it lives, etc. So, once the person who installed the service leaves the company, or long enough time has passed that he's forgotten it, it is well and truly orphaned. I think that the concept of virtual servers compounds this issue, and greater is the need for a central list of these things.


Re: Serious career advice

Slightly beyond that: anything that requires your signature or that has legal implications, make a photocopy and take it home. I've done this, for instance, with every expense claim i've ever made. Why? The very first business trip I ever took was a very short (one day) trip. I claimed for parking at the airport and lunch at the far-end airport. My supervisor was irate as other folks would charge for two taxis and three meals for the same trip, and felt I should be charging the same. I never looked at my pay stubs for several weeks afterwards, as I was not certain what had been done. But I did have a photocopy of what I submitted.


Re: Deleting emails

To be fair, modern operating systems and email clients have degraded the meaning of "delete". When I first started using computers, if I deleted a file, it was deleted (okay, the actual bytes probably had not been overwritten, but the linkages in the allocation table were gone). Same thing with an email. Now, they are simply moved to another location and can be retrieved as needed.

We, here, understand that this is to help us recover from mistakes, which are far too common. Users, well I tend to refer to them as muggles for good reason.


Re: Deleting emails

No offence intended, but if you KNOW that some users use their Delete box as long term storage and you actively choose NOT to migrate their "deleted" mail, you are acting in an unprofessional manner. Worse still, instead of building your working relationship with those users, you are tearing it down.


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019