A message to those who lost their jobs from Gary Lineker
104 posts • joined 24 Jul 2010
Well done for not saying anything about wiping out Klingons.
So you see, your honour, at breakfast I bit into the slice of toast at the exact moment the windows 10 pop up appeared on the TV screen in my kitchen as I was watching the weather forecast, at which point like anyone I could not resist the urge to laugh uncontrollably. I could not breathe. I thrashed about the kitchen choking, knocking the TV, laptop, a few smartphones and a few expensive porcelain ornaments to the floor before my wife performed the heimlich on me, in the process dislocating her neck requiring expensive private medical attention.
All this came to $10,001 exactly. A cheque will be fine, thanks.
The microsoft line on that chart is what statisticians term "floor noise",
Surely the only meaningful equivalent in 2016 will just have Android, iOS and "others".
@dogged Chuckle :-)
It's some kind of irrelevant obscure web server, right?
Can I visit it using "IE", which I hear is some kind of irrelevant obscure desktop web browser?
How about this "Windows Mobile" - that's as irrelevant and obscure, will that work with it?
With so much irrelevance floating around, why such a fuss?
One leaders Cast Iron Guarantee is worth as much as anothers Boom And Bust promise - and both equal anothers Tuition Fee Pledge.
I was painful watching the helpless LibDems during this parliament. Even at every party conference during their once-per-century stint in power, Nick Cleggs main message was "I'm sorry".
On the other hand, that's a video I'm sure would be popular indeed!
When the watch stops it's your fault for not winding it up. When azure stops it's your fault for relying on microsoft.
It makes this adjustment without using any power - even when switched off - making it eco-friendly too. And its users get an extra special surprise when its done this and they first see it.
And all because of the superior Apple user experience.
Anyway, so now the stars are visible. Hold on, the tin hat brigade said the reason they were blacked out was because at the time NASA hadn't got the tech to show their correct positions from such a different perspective, so would be caught out and had no option. So now we *can* compare them lets get on with it!
Unless...drat, they could be digitally inserting them today at the positions they are known to have been in back in '69. Oh my head hurts...
Microsoft - you never fail to disappoint.
No-one wants <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/07/19/us-microsoft-research-idUSBRE96I0MO20130719">their shares.</a>
Remember folks - this is what Symbian was thrown away for, because we were all told it was a "burning platform", and Android swerved because "there is no way to differentiate handsets", unlike, err, the way manufacturers can infinitely customize WP8. Just don't tell that to Samsung, Sony, HTC etc.
Actually, yellow is an appropriate color when you think of whos pocket Elop was in when he made this "decision".
True, but not as embarrassing as Apple being ordered to print apologies for the same lie in the British press.
Then told to again, because they apologised wrong.
This one is lovely:
"MS want the terms to be fair. "
Isn't #DroidRage what this guy suffered when he realised he should have used one instead of the fail he was forced to?
@dogged can you point to an article showing how evil google are please. I found scraps - mostly related to tracking cookies. The relative levels you can come up with will be interesting. For example, you mentioned IBM? http://www.ibmandtheholocaust.com/
Strewth. And you haven't even mentioned Nokia!
WTF are these guys on? As if anyones gonna trash someone they care abouts computer by giving them windows 8.
This is what Nokia was destroyed for?
Don't forget their cloud offering - down again:
Perhaps Sinofsky did more than just publicly give Ballmer the bird when he left?
And this is before the news came out they fall apart within days?
Where do I complain?
Depends on the shape of its corners.
Perhaps this guy might have been able to give some advice regarding shit hardware running shit software: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-pMZd1fupw
"Why do you enjoy seeing other people have problems?"
Not other people generally, microsoft specifically. Decades of bullying have come home to roost.
"Symbian, for all its impending death, still managed to outsell Windows Phone by shipping 4.1 million, well over the 3.6 million devices running Microsoft's latest foray into mobility."
"Can you give me an example showing they are not just a bunch of humourless wannabees totally regretting their decision to ditch Google Maps?"
A search party has been dispatched.
Siri, do you have any examples of the dramatic effects global warming is having on the environment?
Missed the user experience of being blamed for it scratching easily:
They get the user experience of being lost.
They get the user experience of not being able to get a WiFi signal.
They get the user experience of the new adapters they are forced to buy jamming in their sockets.
And of course they get the user experience of not having to carry those pesky full wallets about.
Thats the Apple advantage - its all about the user experience.
The lost flock of iSheep will be getting their 7 incher before Christmas, so let this baby rip into it with both barrels!
@sabroni I'm reminded of what Russell Brand said when he was caught making obscene phone calls with Jonathan Ross: "All I ever wanted to do was make people laugh.". The best reply, actually from the letters page in Viz: "Well Russell, start when you're ready".
I don't know why its so fashionable to knock these figures. No one mentions Microsofts numbers in social - if they actually do anything in that area, that is.
Fuck me, they still going?
Apple just launched a turkey where previously they'd been doing rather well in that department.
Microsoft always had turkeys but salvaged them by spending zillions in marketing. As the article shows, that''s now turned into a fiasco.
Nokia ... well, you get the idea.
Its' always better to shoot messengers when i'ts not possible to deal with any of the points raised, although I see the upvoters find 'its message came though loud and clear :-)
Exactly - they're now just another Android wannabe.
Wow, this is a bigger piss take than letting the fanbois think they were getting the iPhone5 last year then just giving them the same one with an "S" at the end.
Seriously - this is what they call innovation?
Its a larger screen, of the kind the Android handsets had 2 years ago.
Its got LTE, of the kind Android handsets had well over a year ago.
Its cameras and speed now match the Android handsets from a year ago.
Its adapter has changed from one proprietary format to another just to take the piss.
A bundled app found on every platform over the last 2 years to stick photos together is trumpeted as a huge breakthrough.
And existing apps look shit because they only stretched the screen in 1 direction, and are new to fragmentation unlike Android which has been dealing with this for years.
This could almost make microsofts offering look good.
"While Windows Phone 8 is an impressive step forward for Microsoft, its biggest selling point is that it's not iOS and not Android."
Neither was Symbian.
Quick! Second choice seems for sale: http://eebygum.com
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