Re: Form over function
No, sorry. Android updates are (or rather, have been) slow because of the process: Google creates new Android version, sends it to silicon vendors for them to release a binary driver blob if they can be bothered, they send that to the phone vendor, test, repeat, phone vendor combines binary blobs with new Android and their skins, tests, if applicable sends to regulators and network operators, test, maybe repeat.
Of that, the vendors skin, which is often not much more than an app, is not the stage that takes the time.
Since we're talking about Android P here, the first phones to get it will be those that *shipped* with Oreo (here, Galaxy S9) and thus are built atop the modular nature of Project Treble - which means new versions of Android aren't dependant on silicon vendors creating new blobs.
Judging by the past, the S8 which shipped with Nougat (no Treble) will likely get Android P beginning of next year.
I've been suspect of TouchWiz in the past (so have had more stock Android phones from Sony and Nexus) but my S8 is actually fine (once I'd flipped the navigation soft keys, t and urned off Bixby and Edge Actions.