* Posts by A K Stiles

548 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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Musk: Got best battery ever

A K Stiles
Joke

Lyrical is such a strange name; why can't he just call it Willy, Peter, or Johnson like everyone else?

or even "Little Elon"... although the thought of waxing it brings a tear to the eye and a whole new meaning to pulling one off!

Any questions? No, not you again at the back, please God no

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: Incontinent Flyer

So that would be an "all-too-frequent" flyer then?

Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

A K Stiles
Windows

Hmmm

I'm about to make a trip from the UK to Germany and back but I've grown something that nearly passes for a beard since I last went through an airport... I've been wondering how the automated bio-metric immigration machine will cope or if it will punt me off to deal with a real person? For that matter I also sometimes wear glasses (don't remember if they ask you to take them off for those machines?)

icon is a picture of me with a beard... never going to get that beer can through airport security though!

What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

A K Stiles
Pint

Re: Let's be different

We were there a couple of years back when the Canadian Lanc was over on tour. We'd gone out for the day and were at the Dogdyke steam ~& diesel pumping station nearby when there was that very familiar sound in the distance - got some great photos as they came overhead, circled round for a couple of minutes and then came in to land - incredible.

A K Stiles

The thing about the Hawks is that they are *relatively* cheap aircraft so it does seem that the T2 would be a sensible replacement.

The Typhoons would be more expensive, unless they roll out some of those spare ones (doesn't make them cheaper but at least they're already paid for...)

How effective do they reckon the reds are as a recruiting tool? Is it worth the cost of running them at all?

(Don't get me wrong, I think they're very impressive and have enjoyed watching them on several occasions)

Mobile beats desktop traffic

A K Stiles
Coat

Desktop / tablet ?

So what counts as a desktop versus a tablet?

Are they analysing user agents for web requests, or something to do with screen resolutions?

Does a 12" tablet count as a tablet but a 12" eeepc (remember them?) as a desktop?

Lies, damn lies, statistics and report headlines!

(mine's the one with the latest election polling figures in the pocket... no, for our parish council referendum - Don't be silly, we don't have a president!)

More movie and TV binge-streaming sites join UK banned list

A K Stiles
Joke

Thank goodness for that!

I mean, it's not like there's any easy way to register a new domain name or anything, is it?!

Samsung are amateurs – NASA shows how you really do a battery fire

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: Wow. Make this a feature...

What 'ave you done now?

Phishing fraudsters pose as UK bank social media types

A K Stiles
Pint

Re: Father Ted?

Thank you! - I was waiting for that reference to appear.

A K Stiles
Joke

but his name was "Lloyd Bank"

and his avatar was a picture of a lovely horse!

It's ALIVE: Juno back online after reboot

A K Stiles

Re: Figures sound wrong

Is it fuel, or is it thrust mass? i.e. cold gas thrusters rather than combustion fuel rockets - chuck 3.6 kg of stuff in *that* direction, change velocity in *this* direction?

Password1? You're so random. By which we mean not random at all - UK.gov

A K Stiles
Flame

Re: Okay... let me be the first to post this :

... and let's see if you get assailed by the critical masses as I did for posting the same link in an article a couple of years ago!

The main issue I face with the CorrectHorseBatteryStaple approach is that most of the things I have passwords for insist on mixing upper and lower case letters with numbers and possibly symbols, but maybe not, and minimum and maximum lengths... so never mind reusing a password across different sites, I can't even reuse my password construction rules across sites!

Spoiler alert: We'll bet boffins still haven't spotted aliens

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: why are they all pointing their lasers at us?

It's because we're really noisy, emitting lots of electromagnetic cruft and they're all trying to whisper-shout at us to keep the noise down before we wake up the Vogons!

A bigger splash: The mathematics of spilling beer

A K Stiles
Coat

New line of investigation

But they've only been researching how liquid will run out of a vessel when it is on its side, not how easy it is to tip one over when full?

Next seven years spent determining the ease with which a full pint can be knocked out of

1/. tall, thin glass

2/. conical glass

3/. bulging glass

4/. stein

5/. tankard

6/. dimpled pint jug

7/. stemmed, fluted, 'call that a pint?!?' glass

(mine's the one with the dimpled pint in the pocket)

Hackers pop top 'secure' wireless keyboard and mouse kits, gain RCE

A K Stiles
Joke

Wait, what?

You mean this wireless keyboard and mouse attempt to use some sort of encryption / security? I'd just assumed they were plain text from the start!

This speech recognition code is 'just as good' as a pro transcriber

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: This speech recognition code is 'just as good' as a pro transcriber

Ach, Awa' an' bile yer heid, ye lummock!

Radio glitch as Schiaparelli lander probe splits from ExoMars mothership

A K Stiles
Alien

Re: Juno having problems too.

"I hope Wednesday goes well."

My too. I've had an entry in my calendar since the launch in March. Stuff like this brings a little bit of joy into my otherwise politically depressed existence!

<alien because hopefully there will be some extraterrestrial explaining>

BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

A K Stiles
Coat

I generally prefer hand tools,

but sometimes the speed and efficacy of a nail gun is what's required!

Calcium Chloride you say...

Invasion of the virus-addled lightbulbs (and other banana stories)

A K Stiles
Terminator

Third time (un)lucky?

That's the third time this week that I've seen reference to that bloody toaster from Red Dwarf! Admittedly one was my own comment on another story and the second was someone else's comment on yet another story... I think the toasters are coming for us!

(or maybe, just maybe, there are enough technoprats inhabiting these reaches that we all have common memories/nightmares about that bloody toaster?)

My Nest smoke alarm was great … right up to the point it went nuts

A K Stiles
Mushroom

Re: Fire?

possibly version 1.5 of this?

A K Stiles
Joke

re: Canary

"Arrrgghh - look at the canary! We're being poisoned by CO !!"

"Nah, look - it's just resting!"

'My REPLACEMENT Samsung Galaxy Note 7 blew up on plane'

A K Stiles
Coat

Introducing a whole new generation...

...to the phrase "Halt and Catch Fire"

OK Google, Alexa, why can't I choose my own safe, er, wake word?

A K Stiles
Mushroom

Hi, I'm Talky Toaster!

Would you like some toast? Perhaps a teacake? How about a crumpet? Or maybe a delicious Muffin?

Swansong for Rosetta as it lands on the duck-shaped comet

A K Stiles
Pint

Re: "The final commands were uploaded on September 29 – and now there is no going back"

Except that it was reported before they even got to the comet that the mission was Rosetta, and Philae was an added extra - if it woke up it was a bonus, if it made contact with the comet, that was a bonus, if it stuck, a bonus, if it did any of the science another bonus.

Okay, so the harpoons didn't launch and the cold-gas thruster didn't work either. After 10 years in space and ending up in a non-optimal location and attitude they STILL managed to do a whole bunch of bonus science thanks to the stuff that DID work on the lander.

If that's a failure, then I look forward to them continuing to similarly fail so spectacularly on future probe missions!

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

A K Stiles

Re: Employee Surveys

Ah - previous employer termed that one as 'special projects'

We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

A K Stiles

Re: Quick...

I didn't - all the ones I got in change during my trip last month were ratty bits of barely-legible paper that appeared to have been in regular use as a makeshift beer-mat for a leaky pint of Tennants!

<edit> quick check of t'webs suggests it was a pilot run last year by Clydesdale ahead of full release now, with RBS and BOS in November 2016 and 2015 respectively, which explains why they weren't more prevalant </edit>

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: Quick...

**GAAAHHH!!!** I'll hand in my grammar-police badge on my way out!

"...plastic stuff they're rolling out..."

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: Quick...

I dub thee Robert MacHelpMaBob and claim my Scottish Five pound note! (made of grease-absorbing paper, not this weird plastic stuff their rolling out in the south.)

Rosetta probe's final death dive planned for just after last call next Friday night

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: Exciting times

Good stuff - have you informed him of any dress code?

Google buys startup biz, slurps up its NLP brains

A K Stiles
Coat

Can it handle slang?

I'll be impressed when it can contextualise the sentence and understand whether or not I'm desperate to hear something by 60's soul legend Eartha Kitt or desperately requiring the nearest facilities!

Tesla to stop killing drivers: Software update beamed to leccy cars

A K Stiles

Re: Light bulb moment?

I think Laura MacCleery is the VP of blah blah for Consumer Reports, not for Tesla? Though the phrasing is fairly confusing!

Apple gets judge to hit ctrl-alt-delete on $625m FaceTime patent troll

A K Stiles

Re: dont know or care...

It would be good if there was some sort of 'implementation' requirement where the current owners of a patent have to demonstrate the mechanism of the patent working (and not just identical to, or even just, a thing they bought from the previous patent owner(s) ) before they are allowed to sue for the infringement.

Samsung Note 7: Probably the best phone in the world. Yeah – you heard right

A K Stiles

Got a Note 3 at launch...

and it's still my main phone now. Works well and does everything I need (not actually saying 'why did they bring out another phone when I don't need it' - just don't see the need to upgrade personally whilst this one still works).

Intrigued by the battery on the new one though - mine is 3200mAh (12.16 Wh @ 3.8V) and that was 3-4 years ago so either their battery tech isn't advancing as quickly as might be hoped or they've opted for a smaller battery to cram more (stuff?) into pretty much the same form factor.

Also, is that silvery back case actually metal, or just chromed plastic? That's the one thing that started to mark quite quickly on my Note 3, and the thinner parts around the edge buttons are starting to split.

Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

A K Stiles
Boffin

Re: M.I.F

Um, no, it isn't. Half litre of tea at 95°C, add small dash of milk at 4°C temperature of the mixture is now 94.5°C. Repeat until all the milk is added and the mixture is now at about 75°C. (all depending on initial starting temps and relative volumes)

Or quantity of milk at 4°C, add a splash of tea at 95°C, temperature of mixture is now 5°C. repeat until all tea added, mixture is now at 80°C. In the second instance the hottest the milk ever gets is the 75°C. In the first instance some of it gets up to 95°C and denatures more and tastes 'funny' - like using UHT milk in your tea tastes 'funny' vs. the pasteurised stuff.

(Icon with a dash of irony, added at any stage of the reading you like!)

A K Stiles

Re: Unhappy memories

"Hmmm... they must have been Thai, because Chinese, Japanese, Singaporean, and Korean all drink their tea "black." "

Or, as I suspect the OP was talking about Birmingham, United Kingdom, it was probably 'Asian' meaning of Indian / Pakistani / Bangladeshi origins, or thereabouts.

A K Stiles

Re: No no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

Right alongside the foul beings that stir sugar into their tea and then straight in to my cup with the spoon... about the only evidence for homeopathic efficacy I've ever witnessed - yes I can taste the sweetness!

A K Stiles
Mushroom

No no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

You never allow milk and tea (bag) to contact and you certainly never use something that has held coffee to make tea!

I sincerely hope the individual concerned has been roundly chastised, trained in the correct procedure, taken outside, flogged and returned to the kitchen until such time as they can present you with a proper cuppa.

I'd say nuke them from orbit, but they'll never learn if you do that for a first offence - even one as severe as this!

Beer merger dwarfs EMC/Dell

A K Stiles
Pint

Awww...

Peroni was about the only 'mainstream' lager I'd tolerate (icy cold on a hot day).

What else is there that I should be able to get delivered with my supermarket shopping for the icy beer needs? It seems like sacrilege to chill any of the real ales that far.

Flight sim records show MH370 captain practiced 'flight' near search area

A K Stiles

Re: I'm fairly sure that

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/practiced - either works depending on which part of the world you learned...

Juno's 1,300-pic Jupiter vid

A K Stiles
Megaphone

Re: That video would be so boring without the music

Just about my first thought when it started was "Oh <deity>! Not another video with excessively stirring orchestral overload!". Don't get me wrong - I think the actual science and engineering bit is incredible and a time-lapse video of Jupiter and moons in orbit is amazing, but just maybe tone down the "heavenly hosts" anthems?

SpaceX landings

A K Stiles
Pint

SpaceX landings

Either I've just missed the article, or El Reg is suffering from the loss of Lester's keen eye and wit, but I'd like to raise a glass on his behalf to SpaceX's continued attempts to make reusable rocket stage landings a boring event with the successful launch (and 1st stage return) of the latest Falcon 9 / Dragon combination to the ISS.

IBM scraps loyal staffer gifts in favour of... a congratulatory social page

A K Stiles
Unhappy

Fiscal rewards

I've seen a number of reports (articles?) suggesting that studies say money isn't a good motivator and paying people more doesn't make them happy and more productive... Strange how that doesn't seem to apply to those with chairs around the executive boardroom table though!

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: A culture of feedback to cognitive learning that’s more mobile

How about percussive education? (Or 'beating some sense into you / me / them' ?)

Bloke 'lobbed molotov cocktails' at Street View car because Google was 'watching him'

A K Stiles

Re: Just out of curiosity

and presumably the streetview cameras captured the 'Private Road' signs too?

Fear and Brexit in Tech City: Digital 'elite' are having a nervous breakdown

A K Stiles
Facepalm

unfortunately, you appear to not be aware of the most recent news...

Bacon is not my vodka friend

A K Stiles
Joke

what if you're a Bison?

A K Stiles
Pint

I have to agree - nobody want's their chilli-spirits to taste of sambuca!

(icon, 'cos chilli beer is often quite nice)

DARPA's 'flying wing' drone inches closer to lift-off

A K Stiles
Joke

Re: Ryan Vertijet

Is that another of Michael O'Leary's crazy ideas to cram more people on his 'planes?

Patriotic Brits rush into streets to celebrate… National Cream Tea Day

A K Stiles
Coat

Re: Tea first? Heathens!

and for me - Pot, pre-warmed and left to brew for 3+ minutes, preferably loose leaf by the teaspoon per person. Milk first so it doesn't denature with heat - you know roughly how much you put in normally! Scone, rhymes with 'gone', then jam then clotted cream.

In fact, due to my heritage tendancies, a slice of butter between jam and cream for extra tasty goodness - and be glad I didn't try to batter and deep-fry that bad boy too!

A K Stiles
Coffee/keyboard

Tea first? Heathens!

http://www.academiaobscura.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/RSC-tea-guidelines.pdf

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