* Posts by A K Stiles

418 posts • joined 16 Jul 2010

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You can't find tech staff – wah, wah, wah. Start with your ridiculous job spec

A K Stiles
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Re: job ads get ignored

The listing seems to be missing these extra lines...

location: London

Starting salary £16k with potential for performance related bonuses

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Man prosecuted for posting a picture of his hobby on Facebook

A K Stiles
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Re: Police Scotland = Morons with time on their hands

Context is surely key? Any solicitor (or judge?) worth the title would surely want to see the image in the context of the page it was found on, so all the comments etc. should be apparent, and can be checked independently.

Haven't seen the pictures or the page they were taken from so don't know quite what was cropped / modified and is it that modification that counts as 'breaking the chain of custody'?

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Brit bank fined £75k over 1.5 MEEELLION text and email spamhammer

A K Stiles
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Meh

Astounding fine!

just over 8.5 pence per text message (ignoring the emails which probably got spam-filtered). Even including the original cost per message it's probably less than some people still pay to send a text!

</sarcasm>

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BAE confirms it is slashing 2,000 jobs

A K Stiles
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Facepalm

You said "Duxford" but I read "Dunsfold" - an ex-BAE site and now the home of the Top Gear test track. So still a viable example for your statement.

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Frustrated Britons struggle to locate their packages: Royal Mail tracker smacked

A K Stiles
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Re: Links

because all links on twitter get rerouted via a t.co address, which belongs to Twitter, so they can track what links are being clicked and from which tweets.

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Video games used to be an escape. Now not even they are safe from ads

A K Stiles
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Big Brother

Re: Welcome to the race to the bottom!

So perhaps some concept along the lines of free (ad-supported?) trial, followed by option to buy the game and have no advertising at all? At a price equivalent to the per-user advertising returns?

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Rosetta probe's final packets massaged into new snap of Comet 67P

A K Stiles
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Pint

Good work those Rosetta researchers

or sysadmins / developers / whoever thought to look at exactly what they'd got back.

A beer on me should we ever meet.

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Dropbox thinks outside the … we can't go there, not when a box becomes a 'collection of surfaces'

A K Stiles
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re: is the logo actually different?

It appears that they've straightened out the 'open box flaps' and removed the nice secure sides that help to keep the stuff you want in the box separate from the stuff you want outside the box (like dirty haXors!!)

Oh, and they might have fiddled with their nondescript sans-serif font a bit to make it a slightly different nondescript sans-serif font.

These sorts of things should definitely be announced by distribution of the new brand and its ethos printed on the side of a suitably waxed paper bag.

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Home Sec Amber Rudd: Yeah, I don't understand encryption. So what?

A K Stiles
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Re: It's important to remember

Is that the club chaired by the late John Smith ?

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A K Stiles
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Joke

Their first mistake

was in not just trying to make it 31/8 - surely that would have fit much better into the non-metrique, 'english' system of measurements too?

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Nobel Prize for boffins who figured out why you feel like crap after long-haul flights

A K Stiles
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Pint

long haul flight planning

When I've been on long haul flights between the UK and Australia my plan was to figure out what time of day I was going to land and try to plan some sort of sleep on the 'planes around that - e.g. landing early morning, so try to stay awake for the first 14 hours or so, then sleep as much of the last stretch as possible, then stay awake for as long as possible to 'force' the switch. It may have helped that when I arrived I went straight onto the bucks do (10am Saturday) and drank my way through to midnight before finding a corner to fall asleep. Briefly awake when the other lads all rocked in to the apartment around 4am, then asleep again until around 10am. Felt a bit meh the next day, but I had the chance to put that down to the beer! Don't plan to do that sort of trip for anything less than 3 weeks next time though!

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NatWest customer services: We're aware of security glitch

A K Stiles
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Joke

If you just tell them what your password is

then they'll be able to replicate the fault in a test system and determine where the issue is coming from.

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Dome, sweet dome: UAE mulls Martian city here on Earth ahead of Red Planet colonization

A K Stiles
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Joke

Re: Lemme see...

You missed the giant worms and the serious drug problem, but I suppose at least 50% of that is easily resolvable!

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A K Stiles
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600,000 in 100 years

Ignoring moral issues and tech hurdles for radiation, shelter building etc;

If you sent 200 women (plus maybe 20 men / lots of varied sperm for genetic diversity), with each of them having 4 children, and each subsequent generation having 4 children (per person, so possibly 8 per woman at 50/50 female/male birth rate - or selective breeding for majority female offspring) you would need 4 generations of offspring to get to a population around 600,000.

Your first generation could begin to be born almost as soon as you arrive, and then average 25 years old per generation, you would be at 600,000 around 75 years in. Obviously it's a captive breeding programme and you're expecting people whose grandparents haven't even been conceived yet to follow your demands for procreation in a confined environment, but it *could* be done mathematically, if not ethically.

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A K Stiles
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Boffin

Mars-like conditions?

How cold is it again, and how much solar power availability in the UAE versus on Mars?

I'm all for good science and exploration, but is the UAE the most realistic location for a Mars habitat demonstrator?

Presumably they are going to tint the domes to the restrict the available incident light to Mars equivalent wavelengths and energy? Still not sure about the thermal environment though...

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Twitter's 280-char blog mode can be enabled client-side. Just sayin'

A K Stiles
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Joke

Re: Trump-tastic

As long as they keep their wildlife contained appropriately. Can you imagine late night outside a dubious Essex night club:

"Excuse me, I don't suppose you gentlemen would know the whereabouts of my good friend Caspian?"

"Fack me! Gary, look! It's only a fackin' talkin' Badger!!"

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Out, damned Spot! Amazon emits Echo ball with screen, inevitable ever-listening mic

A K Stiles
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Don't forget...

Everyone's favourite underdog -

Bixby ! (Here boy! c'mon! who's a good boy? Yes, you are! you Are! yes!)

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UK third worst in Europe for fibre-to-the-premises – report

A K Stiles
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Boffin

Not that I disagree with the general sentiment, but the population of England (130,000 km^2) is 55.3 million, not 66.5 million which is closer to the population of the entire UK (242,500 km^2).

It's still woeful performance by governments, councils and communications providers though. It astounds me that they are still building new houses and either connecting them with copper, or even not connecting them at all in this day and age.

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Bing fling sting: Apple dumps Microsoft search engine for Google

A K Stiles
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Re: To be fair, it was Google search all along ...

Not entirely sure why, but every time I've seen 'Bing' in this comments thread, my brain has read it as 'Binge' - maybe I need another holiday?

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'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?

A K Stiles
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Re: Let's leave such hyperbole to when the world comes apart, shall we?

Will it technically be hyperbole in that instance?

Oh well, It's Friday and beer o'clock.

Keep up the good work. Don't break anything. Do AWESOME!!!!11one!one </gack>

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User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

A K Stiles
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different colours for test and live

As a developer especially, I make sure my terminal windows for dev / test / live are different colours so I can be sure I'm not accidentally corrupting anything I shouldn't. (and I aim to not have the test / live terminals open at all if I'm not specifically doing something on them).

In a previous role I've seen a sys-admin accidentally clear down a live database when they thought they were doing it to a development environment. Took about an hour and a half to restore from the overnight backup and then reapply the lost morning's work from the database journals. Admin thought they were out the door but the management took the sensible approach of "you didn't intend to do it? no, good. You won't do it again, will you? No, didn't think so." and implemented a policy of colour coding across everyone who had admin access to live - If it's red, REALLY don't break it!

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A K Stiles
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Headmaster

Re: Testing is complete?

<cough> implies</cough>

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Apply now before it closes

A K Stiles
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Re: the chance to read BOFH before we publish it

Oh, does that mean we might actually get another BOFH story this side of Christmas? </snark>

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Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

A K Stiles
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Joke

Re: Gentlemen.

Well that certainly ain't no Cockford-Ollie

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ICO slaps cab app chaps for 10-day spam crap

A K Stiles
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re: What about the taxi companies?

Exactly that point - if the cab companies (or any other organisation) got a serious financial slap for spaffing customer data to their "carefully selected partner companies" in exchange for a few quid, without the explicit consent of the customers then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't spend half our lives being hounded by marketing we never wanted and were compelled to agree to in order to access a service, once.

*You can opt out at any point** by contacting us

**except the point where you sign up and agree to these terms and conditions...

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Atlassian kills God, rebrands as a mountain, a structurally unsound 'A' or a high five

A K Stiles
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Facepalm

Re: facepalm?

I was seeing it as a spacesuit helmet visor and a gloved/mittened hand attempting said face-palm...

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Flying electric taxi upstart scores $90m from investors

A K Stiles
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Meh

Re: ducted fan =/= 'jet'

I would posit that, in terms of aircraft, jet would be understood to be some form of gas turbine propulsion. A description that doesn't apply when said propulsion has no compressor / turbine combination and has the recognised description of "ducted fan" - at best it's disingenuous, at worst it's an outright lie.

</grump>

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A K Stiles
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Facepalm

ducted fan =/= 'jet'

If they can't even name their tech honestly, what trust can we put in anything else they say or do?

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

A K Stiles
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RE:Glowing when off @Doctor Syntax

Is this fitting switchable from 2 places by any chance? (e.g. landing lights with switches top and bottom of stairs) I encountered this issue and it appears to be because the 2-way switching on the 3-core wire means that the AC is constantly altering in one conductor, inducing current in the parallel conductors when they aren't directly connected. Sufficient to illuminate an LED lamp in fact.

Changing to different LED bulbs stopped the faint glow issue.

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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

A K Stiles
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Angel

Praise or accusations of work not done?

The other side of that one is when people demand you come and see the problem they are having with their system, so you dutifully trot over and watch as they proceed to use it as per design and everything works perfectly, which gets you the confused look from the user followed rapidly by the "You fixed something on the server, didn't you!?!" accusation.

At least 95% of the time we hadn't touched a thing...

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

A K Stiles
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Thumb Up

Re: Eat your heart out Copernicus the flat earther's were right.

and Dark Side of the Sun.

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A K Stiles
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Joke

I wonder what the chances are...

...that any data could be salvaged from that disk?

Maybe a million to one?

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Science fiction great Brian Aldiss, 92, dies at his Oxford home

A K Stiles
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Re: The Greats have gone

For those with the stamina to enjoy Peter F. Hamilton, I'd also recommend taking a look at Ann Leckie and her somewhat more compact but still rewarding 'Ancilliary...' series.

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The sky is blue, water is wet and UK PC shipments are down

A K Stiles
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Meh

Where you are likely to need a PC to do many forms of work, many home users now realise that they don't need the full desktop / laptop functionality to post their kid pics to facebook, buy stuff from amazon and read an irate rant in the daily fail - in fact the always on nature of tablets and increased screen sizes of phones means they never need to turn on a 'real' computer any more.

As for business sales being down, well how many new computers does your company need when you aren't recruiting hundreds of new staff and mostly they use it as a terminal or a word processor?

When the vast majority of folks have the tech that lets them do what they need / want to do, why are they going to consider replacing it again? Joe Public really doesn't care about windows support end of life notices you know!

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I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours

A K Stiles
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Re: @FSM - "A Microsoft spokesperson told us the Windows giant has nothing to say."

In a previous existence I worked at a place that was occasionally beset by press and / or protesters. We were explicitly told to say nothing, not even a "No Comment" as that would likely then be reported as "A company spokesperson said that they had 'No Comment' ".

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Ten spacecraft – from Venus Express to Voyager 2 – all tracked same solar flare

A K Stiles
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Pint

Re: Proper Science!

And great to see the continued open and international cooperation that allows the investigation to see the data from all those different probes/craft from the different agencies too. Top work everyone involved over 50+ years of science.

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Er, Ofcom, please tell us more about Murdoch's £11.7bn Sky bid

A K Stiles
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Re: Laser Law

Yup - as far as I am able to control it, none of my money goes to supporting the Murdoch empire. We don't do print media anyway, I avoid his foul outpourings in their digital forms and there's plenty enough televisual crap on freesat / freeview and non-sky DVD boxsets to ever consider paying Sky to broadcast adverts at me.

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You had ONE job: Italian firefighters suspected of starting blazes for cash

A K Stiles
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Get what you measure

or possibly what you reward!

The one with the large brown envelope in the inside pocket please

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Ofcom: Blighty has devolved into a nation of unwashed binge-streaming mole people

A K Stiles
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Streamed or broadcast record

We've been watching most of our telly via recorded broadcast or sometimes via streaming service, depending on how many episodes we've missed on the recording, or it just not being available on standard broadcast. Interesting to note that we quite often don't watch recorded series until we've got several episodes or even a whole season recorded and then 'binge' them in one or 2 sittings, when it's convenient. Sometimes we even record a whole series and then delete it when we haven't watched it after six or nine months as we're clearly not that fussed and there are other things to watch, or even do that don't involve the telly. Some streaming stuff where the episodes have been released weekly have also fallen off the watch list, either because they weren't good enough to pull me back in after a week's delay or perhaps just because they don't appear on the 'saved' list on the recorder and out of sight, out of mind.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Sorry, psycho bosses, it's not OK to keylog your employees

A K Stiles
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Re: Play the game

Not my downvote, but if you read the article the guy said it was done on his own time (his breaks are his time), and the lawsuit wasn't about whether he could or not but that the way they had gathered the evidence was against the law, and without their illegal actions they consequently would have had no grounds for dismissing him.

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Expect the Note 8 to break the bank (and your wallet)

A K Stiles
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Joke

Re: Extra buttons

"long time since I used my Dictaphone."

Me too - mostly these days I just dial with a finger!

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

A K Stiles
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Pint

Re: I am still waiting

Not sure whether to vote up for the implied sarcasm or down for the proximity to actual manglement-speak that has to be endured on a regular basis... In the meantime, have one of these.

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

A K Stiles
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Re: Vagisil

Think these ones are also beef flavour - brown beef rather than blue beef though. It's the new twenties that are going to be Orangutan flavoured (or something)

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Facebook users pwnd by phone with account recovery vulnerability

A K Stiles
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WTF?

Just incredible that the security of one of the most used systems in the world is so lax.

Also interesting to note that people regularly change their mobile numbers when they change phone / carrier. I've had the same number in the UK for about 17 years, but it's on the 5th new phone and 4th carrier in that time. Does no other country port numbers easily? (or is it an outside Europe thing?)

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

A K Stiles
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Facepalm

16

There are other things you can do legally in the UK at 16 too... assuming you can find a consenting partner, but apparently you're not allowed to look at pictures of it happening for another couple of years!

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Set your alarms for 2.40am UTC – so you can watch Unix time hit 1,500,000,000

A K Stiles
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Sun 28 Nov 04:35:28 UTC 2032

That's the date I'm waiting for, in some unconscionable blend of decimal and hex delights.

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

A K Stiles
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Happy

Re: if cost == 0 then panic

>What happens if a photo is set up so that a ball is released at a random time

I have a camera with 'smile' detection, it's on a tripod pointing at a blank wall. When people go and stand in front of it and smile, it takes their picture. I haven't really framed the photo of them and them smiling triggered the shot, so who now owns the copyright on that picture?

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'OK, everyone. Stop typing, this software is DONE,' said no one ever

A K Stiles
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Coat

Hammers

Are you so sure about hammers being 'done'? Claw, ball-peen, dead-blow, lump, sledge, toffee... Wood, steel, rubber, plastic... How about the handles - again, wood, steel, or maybe plastic (GRP, ABS...) Not to mention power hammers...

I realise that probably wasn't your intention with the analogy and I'm being somewhat pedantic, but hammers, like software, do actually get tweaked and adjusted when what exists doesn't work properly for the current situation.

Now if you were renting a hammer (hammer as a service?) or a shower, you may very well find that the provider does decide at some point that what they're willing to offer does change so you end up in a forced upgrade situation, much like your hosting provider.

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Currys PC World given a spanking for misleading laptop savings ads

A K Stiles
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PC World pricing

Haven't been in for a good few years now, but the one I used to visit occasionally always had items on the shelf behind price tags for similar-description-but-different-and-much-cheaper items. There was nearly always someone at the till complaining that an item had just been put through at way more than the advertised shelf price.

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