* Posts by Dagg

366 posts • joined 13 Jul 2010

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Australia joins the 'decrypt it or we'll legislate' club

Dagg

Re: @ bazza

Well you trust the phone network when you call up your bank don't you?

Err NO who would be that stupid. What I might trust is the laws around protection against fraud that may have arisen from that communication. Check you countries banking act.

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UK.gov calls on the Big Man – GOD – to boost rural broadband

Dagg

Re: Good stuff but a sticking plaster fix ...

The big difference is the NZ farmers make most of the money via exports. Saudi Arabia of milk anyone..

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Remember the Yorkie pizza horror? Here's who won our exclusive Reg merch...

Dagg

Re: truly a north-south thing?

It needs to be a really thick gravy, nearly as thick as ketchup, don't drown the chips and DON'T put vinegar on the chips.

Agreed! Also chips with Egg Mayo, Yum, NOT that 'orrible the crime against humanity "Salad Cream".

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Death notice: Moore’s Law. 19 April 1965 – 2 January 2018

Dagg
Flame

It's called Agile

'Programming experience would be nice but not essential'

Even enough time and enough monkeys can't keep up with the changes so you just get what they could throw together as long as it looks good.

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Causes of software development woes

Dagg

Re: Requirements are always a nightmare

@ disinterested observer

I don't much care. From the dev/architect point of view, what I want from a BA is basically a single UML data flow diagram and a single UML State Machine. And even the State Machine is fairly optional.

That would be luxury! Our lot have no idea about UML. None of them have any ideas about NFRs and even the FRs are full of words like "may", "could", "like".

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Dagg
WTF?

Re: Requirements are always a nightmare

The correct way to do this would be to use a BA. Hire a decent business process analyst and sort out how it should work.

The problem is that BAs love agile as it means that they can just do a crap half arsed job then throw over fence to dev to get it built.

We even have the buggers having a fleshout where they don't even know what the client problems are and expect dev to tell them the problem and the solution. While the hell didn't they get off their fat arses and talk to the client!

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Dagg
Mushroom

The user is not your enemy

Correct the bloody BA is the enemy!

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Australia won't prescribe its national broadband network a high-fibre diet

Dagg
Mushroom

Don't have it yet

And from what I've been reading I'm not sure I want it. I've only got ADSL2+ via old copper and it is sloooow 8mbps download but it now works reliably and it is cheap.

Where I am I won't get FTTH I'll end up with FTTN and the rest in my crap copper so I can't see how that will make much of an improvement and from what I've been reading it looks like I'll be disconnected for weeks while they get their shit together cutting me over.

Idiot bloody shitty government.

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Boffins closer to solving what causes weird radio bursts from space

Dagg
Alien

Interstellar Bussard ramjet

What would you see if you were behind one of these? Would it be a laser like beam? A quick blip might just mean the exhaust just flashed by. You never know....

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Intel, Microsoft confess: Meltdown, Spectre may slow your servers

Dagg

Re: "8th Generation Core platforms..."

Switching to ARM devices may well be the quicker solution.

Not really as some ARM have the same problem.

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FBI says it can't unlock 8,000 encrypted devices, demands backdoors for America's 'public safety'

Dagg
Pint

Re: Holy Trinity..

Spanish Inquisition

No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!

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We've heard of data gravity – we're just not sure how to defy it yet

Dagg
Mushroom

When it gets to testing you're too late. It's about getting your design right.

Sorry you can't do that, that is not AGILE that sounds like waterfall. /sarcasm

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Astroboffins say our Solar System could have – wait, stop, what... the US govt found UFOs?

Dagg
Devil

Re: Alien UFO's are Real - True / False...

If I had to have a god it would be Loki

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Dagg
Boffin

Re: Alien UFO's are Real - True / False...

If for example you believe in the Big Bang theory you must hold contradictory beliefs.

Ok, there is a fundamental problem with that statement. First the Big Bang theory is just that it is a THEORY. The concept of a theory is an untested idea as an explanation of something that has been observed.

You do not believe in a theory you challenge and test a theory, there is no belief.

The current (note term current) Big Bang Theory arose to explain some things that had been observed the current theory will make predictions and it is these predictions that can be tested and if they fail the theory needs to be revisited revised or thrown away.

There is no blind belief in science it is not like religion where the same "theory" is in place for 2,000 years and where you are not allowed to test or challenge it.

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Irony's lost on old Pope Francis: Pontiff decrees fake news a 'serious sin'

Dagg

"Yep, journalists don't kiddy fiddle in any way like priests."

Yea, but here in Oz the vast amount of the fiddling was by the church >90% and the Catholics were 60% overall.

No percentage was supplied for writers or journalists. And considering these writers mentioned, were they just Gay or did they actually prey on young children?

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Continuous Lifecycle 2018: Keynotes, speakers and earlybirds

Dagg

Re: I'm getting old

This looks like the place to get your BORG implant.

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So you're 'agile', huh? I do not think it means what you think it means

Dagg

Re: The main issue are those who turned it into a sort of religion...

Agile, by definition, also mean flexible :-)

So how does this work when you have fixed 2 week sprints?

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Dagg
Facepalm

Re: Someonr is getting to the reality

For Agile to truly work you need to TRUST your developers to do the right thing

It is not only the developers. The problem with agile is you can't trust the BAs, they just come up with something fuzzy, throw it over the fence and then blame the development team when the whole thing fails as what they specified wasn't want was wanted.

Note to BAs if you specify a gold plated turd then that is exactly what you will get. Be proper BA and actually do some real work. Find out what the business pain points are don't define requirements as a set of solutions spend some time on the non functionals. THEN and only then get the client to sign it off so what gets built has a chance of working.

It aint rocket science, the earlier you find the problem/issue/gap the less it costs to fix and the quicker it gets fixed.

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Dagg

Re: The main issue are those who turned it into a sort of religion...

We lost our last preacher (scrum master) and things actually improved. We actually got things done instead of death by standup / sprint planning meeting etc. All BS, protocol and process no work.

We ended up calling him the scum master...

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How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

Dagg
Coat

This is total BS

here in OZ my ADSL connection goes via a pit in ground outside my house and it is always full of water and I have absolutely crap speed.

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Trump to NASA: Fly me (or some other guys) to the Moon

Dagg

Good idea

Trump to NASA: fly me (or some other guys) to the Moon - and leave them there.

Anyone remember the book The marching morons

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It's a decade since DevOps became a 'thing' – and people still don't know what it means

Dagg

Re: Having read the article

”Developers?” Yeah, it took me awhile to stop laughing at “engineer” as a term for a programmer, apparently it was because it “sounded better”. Haha, kids hey...

Wrong, as one who has worked as a software engineer we worked in a engineering environment along side the electrical, hardware and mechanical engineers on industrial process control systems. We used exactly the same processes and discipline as all the other engineers.

We needed to, our software was controlling some extremely expensive, dangerous plant.

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Dagg
Mushroom

Re: Yawn...

DevOps is about a system wher developers and operators develop and operate business systems without the chaos and madness you would generally find with IT people involved.

You what! I've seen this too many times in the past. Wildcat changes directly into a product system stuffing up the whole thing.

Users complaining because everything they go to use the system it has changed and they end up carrying out the UAT.

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Boffins foresee most software written by machines in 2040

Dagg
Pint

Re: Ok machine, I want you to...

"dedicated to all designers/developers that had to deal with micromanaging types and did not kill them"

Had those, one wanted a button moved 1/5 a pixel. Had a "UX graphic designer" who loved pastel colours which on her 2**100000000 colour monitor looked fantastic but on the crock-of-shit monitors the rest of us used they all looked the same.

I need a beer.

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Dagg
Mushroom

Re: Prove it...

Get it to the stage it can comment and document human written code first, then I might believe it to be possible

Extremely simple...

// Start of crap human code that contains substandard business rules

Large block of human code

// End of crap human code that contains substandard business rules

/sarcasm - reg where the hell is the icon

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Dagg
Pint

Re: Wasn't COBOL....

Designed to make it to code for accountants back in the 1950's. You wouldn't need programmers, and anyone could "write code".

Bloody accountants!

I'm maintaining a legacy system written by an accountant in C/C++ full of magic numbers, gotos, death by pointers hard coded everything. No documentation and extremely short variable names a 3 character name is a luxury.

But... it is keeping me in a job. Some times I just feel like Wally, old, bald and maintaining the old legacy system that can never be replaced as no one know what the hell it actually does.

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Dagg

Re: The ultimate self modifying code

Nah, just think about it in the machine code days all of the machine code was just data that the CPU 'processed' and gave you results..... <G>

I remember some of the old machines I worked on, I'm talking core memory and 7400 TTL logic (can't remember the name of) you had to actually had to write a JMP instruction into a specific memory location as a return from subroutine as this thing had no JSR or stack.

Even with something like a PDP11 under RT11 if you loaded a relocatable module into memory you need to go through it and modify the relative addresses to actual addresses. You could even do this several times as you moved the code around to free up memory. A bit like an early overlay.

By 2040 I would say that the machine that writes the code will be involved in writing it's own code hence the concept of "ultimate self modifying code"

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Dagg
Pint

The ultimate self modifying code

Nuff said!

I would think that this will be just more comprehensive higher level libraries that you just configure and string together. Payroll library, GL library anyone...

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Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Dagg

Re: it's already doing 17.46 km/hour

Metre is m, mile is M. Most uk motorway signs are definitively incorrect

No, you are incorrect as mile is m, a unit is only a capital letter if it was named after a real person K - Kelvin. T - Tesla etc.

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How is 55 Cancri e like a Sisters of Mercy gig? Astroboffins: It has atmosphere

Dagg
Coat

Re: I have been to a Sisters of Mercy gig...

You should have gone to the gigs 30 years ago - bloody brilliant back then.

Nah, you was young and did know any better and there was the drugs....

I'll get my coat.

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Fear not, driverless car devs, UK.gov won't force you to write Trolley Problem solutions

Dagg
Coat

Re: Easy I suppose

Yes, handling the trolley problem is easy

I would just create a wormhole in front with an exit after the problem area. It's the Kobayashi Maru approach.

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How can airlines stop hackers pwning planes over the air? And don't say 'regular patches'

Dagg

Re: Here's a thought

Trains don't hit the ground as hard as a plane.

Yep, but they can hit other trains and be hit by other trains a hell of lot harder especially those huge freight trains.

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Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

Dagg
Mushroom

Re: Oh dear

Keep he phone nestled between your butt cheeks. Problem solved!

Not if the battery does a Samsung! Then you really will have a flaming a*hole

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Telstra drops nbn™ in it as it wears compo for broadband speed ads

Dagg
Boffin

Re: 60 Concurrent Televisions from 100mhz

It is mHz not mhz and mHz is actually a measure of frequency.

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Last flying Avro Vulcan, XH558, prepares for her swan song

Dagg
Pint

Americanism "Afterburner"

We don't use the Americanism "Afterburner", we use the proper term "Reheat".

Oh yes you do! When I lived in the UK I had quite a few afterburner curries (at least in Leicester) no one ever called them a reheat. That was what you did with the remains in microwave next day.

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Hipsterverse horror as Slack takes Halloween hiatus

Dagg
Facepalm

Can't happen, didn't happen

The cloud is mother, the cloud is father.

The cloud is perfect.

Nothing can go wrong with the cloud.

Everything thing should be running in the cloud.

The cloud is the future.

...

...

Yea, right. Where is the sarcasm icon.

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Forget One Windows, Microsoft says it's time to modernize your apps

Dagg
Pint

Re: Modernise apps?

Try writing a program with Windows forms and another with XAML, XAML is far more easier to read and is more flexible

Nah, MFC are the only way to go! Total flexibility!

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Windows Fall Creators Update is here: What do you want first – bad news or good news?

Dagg
Mushroom

What is this fall sh*t

Classic septic arrogance. Only US and Canada call it fall (or should that be fall) The rest of the English speaking world call it Autumn.

And if this is an Autumn release then it should have appeared 6 months ago for us here in the Southern Hemisphere. Oh yes, of course your average septic has no idea that the southern hemisphere is 6 months ahead on the seasons. Dumb fu*ks.

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Australian PM Malcolm Turnbull hints at surveillance expansion

Dagg
Black Helicopters

Be afraid, very afraid

I was wondering why the government wanted photos of a million or more innocent Australians instead of focusing on those who may be terrorists. Then I remembered the last census where you had to provide your name and address.

Combining the licence photos with the census details will now allow the government to put a face to all Jews, Atheists, Muslims etc.

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Photon scattering puts a shine on CERN ATLAS boffins' day

Dagg

Re: RE: career

If I could have chosen my career I would have wanted to work at the bleeding edge of particle physics

Me too, problem I had a prof whose standard phase was "Intuitively obvious" like f*ck it was. I now suspect that he was not that good and "Intuitively obvious" was an excuse for "I have no clue so by asking you will appear to be an idiot, so don't ask"

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Google tracks what you spend offline to prove its online ads work. And privacy folks are furious

Dagg

Re: I don't use a cell phone to pay so...

>I also don't have a smart phone, so there's that.

I have a smart phone but it spends most of the time set to dumb mode with everything but phone turned off (Well I hope it is) big advantage is 10 days worth of battery life.

Only time the wifi ever gets is turned on is local pub and home

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Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

Dagg

Re: "crash-landings[1] we had when I was a programmer was writing self-modifying code."

From what I remember the original platform that COBOL was developed for had no stack so the perform start through end was implemented by overwriting the end label with a jump instruction to return to just after the original perform.

The other major gotcha as a sort of self modifying code. This was the jump into an overlay when the wrong overlay was loaded.

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Dagg

Re: COBOL FTW

>> " ... x86 Assembler was a nightmare ..."

Even 6502 wasn't that good. I started with PDP PAL-11 then MACRO-11. Now THAT was an assembler. 8 general purpose registers (R6 was also the stack pointer and R7 the program counter) with 8 address modes.

Lovely....

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You can't DevOps everything, kids. Off the shelf kit especially

Dagg
Angel

COTS does work

The problem I have found is that every business thinks that its process and procedures are special and the software need to be adjusted to those process and procedures.

But when it comes down to it a bit of process re-engineering and guess what, the business can use the COTS with none or minimal changes.

A retail store is a retail store is a retail store.... Same for a bank, insurance company etc.

Within a business there are standard processes HR, CRM, Supply chain etc that all work the same across different businesses and industries. But some companies must have there own version. From a customer development point of view this is a gold mine.

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Good news: Samsung's Tizen no longer worst code ever. Bad news: It's still pretty awful

Dagg

>> CMP R3,R3

Ahh, the joys of MACRO-11

You could also do

CMP R3,R3

JZ somewhere

or

JNZ

There was also TST R3 which did the same as CMP

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If at first you don't succeed, you're Microsoft pushing its magical white space broadband

Dagg

Analog may be gone

But the digital still needs the spectrum space and each digital channel still takes the same space as an analog, they can just fit more channels into it.

There are also a lot of other non TV users of the VHF and UHF spectrum. CB radio, Hams, land mobile even wireless car and garage remotes. It would be funny if MS stuffed them up and no one could open their car or garage door.

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Dagg

>> Try a bunch of graphic designers who all insist that they need, nae, deserve calibrated monitors

Worked with one like that loved pastel shades. Totally useless in the real world of 'standard' cheap monitors where 3 shades of light pastel pink all looked the same. And we also had problems with colour blindness.

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Dagg
Big Brother

Re: do not enter the hypen!

>Sometimes, you just can't fix stupid.

Yes you can see if you can get them to become a candidate for a Darwin Award

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Oz government wants its own definition of what 'backdoor' means

Dagg
Mushroom

Can't trust the Government

I grew up during the days of the Vietnam war, there is NO WAY I can ever trust any government. And that goes double for the idiots in power in Australia at the moment.

The state governments are even worst, and just think back to the Joh's Queenland....

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50th anniversary of the ATM opens debate about mobile payments

Dagg
Pint

Re: Must be a Millennial

Yep, I've seen them tap and go for everything including a half in the local pub. When I'm drinking give me money, once I run out I know I've had enough and go home.

I would hate to see the result of a "good" nights drink on a tap and go especially as they get more and more pissed and hit the top shelf. Ha Ha

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