The AI apocalypse:
Delivering 51,744 cans of Budweiser
103 posts • joined 25 Jun 2010
Delivering 51,744 cans of Budweiser
Beam and Eagle. Apache. birthed revolutionised MapReduce data processing Dataflow Apache Spark Cloudera streaming-first framework Apache Beam Dataflow SDK software development KIT KIT KIT semantics "used within Google" Beam Flink Spark Apex open-source stacking Beam on top of Spark or Flink lowest-common-denominator problem "Still, it's an option" orders of magnitude promiscuously software engineer at Google and the project management committee chair execution engines excited state of the art Eagle Hadoop and Spark platforms analytics tool (tool hah ha) Hadoop, Spark, NoSQL yarn applications, JMX metrics, and daemon logs monitoring and alerting large-scale security monitoring generic solution domain experts
No, this is not spam. It's cut & paste - in order - from the article. Apart from the KIT KIT KIT and (tool hah ha) which I just thought added a little spice.
It's white and a bit sticky.
Sometimes the stock photos end up very strange.
This one reminds me of 9/11
... because the purpose of the defence budget is to keep BAE shareholders happy.
Actual functioning warships are a low priority.
Your two rent-a-quotes Kennerly & McEvatt must realize this surely?
One solution proposed is that manufacturers must implement passwords properly e.g. by putting a random password on each device. This is difficult and you can't really leave security to the manufacturer either, especially the hundreds of small Chinese outfits that work on thin margins and don't give a toss.
CE marks that require security would help, but since the internet is global and CE marks are Europe only, that help would be minimal.
The problem is the internet protocols. So we're fucked.
Maybe someone could write a scanner which finds these open IoT devices and changes their password?
and Palmer Fuckey?
... am I the only one who thinks Jack Ma looks like Takashi out of Akira?
A quick google search suggests I am.
I for one will be very disappointed.
After all, if spell-checkers can't distinguish between "end of humanity" and "AI", what hope is there for civilization?
"The blame is not with dyn"
No, but it isn't with cheapo IoT either. DDoS seems to be built into the structure of the internet. Any system that relies on millions of components being "nice" is a system that is doomed to fail.
... Deliveroo will be changing its name to Fuckyoo
I guess the reason Google are the first to patent this idea is because it is fucking stupid.
the AI identified it as a Bernese Mountain dog. That's pretty good, even if no idea whether it's right or not. Maybe you wouldn't use the canned response, but you could build on it. For example -
Me: Wow, you have a Bernese mountain dog! They are so cool!
Them: err.. we told you that like 6 years ago. When we got it.
Me: Wow, cute dog. Is it a from the Bernese Mountains?
Them: beats me. rescue. shits everywhere.
Me: Ha his tongue is hanging out the side. What a dope.
Them: Fuck you
I'd guess by the age of the laptop that the cat is looking at, the cat could very well be dead by now.
"the subtle effects of hypersonic sound (above the range of human hearing)"
... because it is SO important to have sounds you can't hear.
I'm going to have a hard time keeping Dr Mann out of my head.
Cooper: Dr. Mann there's a 50/50 chance your gonna kill yourself.
Dr. Mann: Those are the best odds I've had in years.
Of course a government can create jobs you tit. DWP just created a whole load of jobs for IT workers struggling to create Universal Credit. And apparently they don't even need to produce a working system at the end of it.
... there's no sign of a gigantic tit called Richard in the middle of the island.
Fuck - when did that happen? I must have been asleep for the last ten years.
Over at Oculus, co-founder and CEO Brendan Iribe added: "We are excited to ... get lots and lots of money OH FUCK YEAH MONEY MONEY LOTS OF FUCKING MONEY .... err, sorry , I mean, we're excited to work with Mark and the Facebook team to deliver the very best virtual .. ah fuck it. It's just money. Where's my Ferrari?"
Seriously, they need their own byline.
... cover story for tax avoidance
maybe they are dropping the price because their product is a bit, well, shit compared to competitors. Dropbox has _never_ failed me, while the gdrive client has frequently (>2 times per week) decided to simply stop working without telling anyone.
Only reason I'm still with gdrive is I'm a cheapskate (and a bit invested in picasa), and maybe this pricing acknowledges the near-freetard spending profile of Google's users.
Usually, these sort of stories get "released" in response to some embarassing incident that puts the TSA in a bad light. I seem to remember reading about grenades in luggage sometime last year too.
Anyone know what sort of idiocy the security theatre has been up to recently?
... you can be right without FUCKING SWEARING.
We need proper good old fashioned conductors, not this half-assed semi shit. That'll make your computer thingies go faster.
400,000 miles of random driving? You would have thought the computer behind the wheel would have sobered up by now.
it's just plain "metrics". The "tele-" bit means that you are very far away from something. On the other hand, maybe they were very far away from the user, and that's how the UI turned out the way it did.
"We empower literally billions of pounds of start-ups through our advertising network and so forth,"
I think he meant to say:
"We make literally billions of pounds through our advertising network and so forth,"
More honest, unlike their tax arrangements.
.. why not hire some to maintain Google Reader? (and while they're at it, fix the long-lasting bugs in Google Drive client).
I suspect the reason Vietnamese kids can pass the Goog entrance exam is because Google are nowhere near as good as they think they are.
.. but the Google drive client sucks ass. Constantly dies without any notification. How come all of Google's "brilliant" engineers can't produce a client that's as stable as dropbox's??
The more prestigious the prize tries to be, the fewer risks it takes. I predict this prize will fizzle in a few years as the organizers run out of obvious choices, and they haven't the guts to give it to someone interesting.
pity it turned on inside the little chap's head instead of floating above it in a cartoony manner.
"The most commonly cited reason for firing up a rogue cloud was to save time and money, according to Symantec."
So the solution is to make the in-house cloud easier and cheaper.
Oh, wait, I don't think I've ever seen an in-house solution with those characteristics, because they are designed to keep management happy rather than the workers who use it.
I would have said:
fuck it, it's yours. No way am I paying more than I already have for that p.o.s.
Capitalism is a system where the means of production - the capital if you will - are owned by one group of people (the capitalists) who then hire another group of people (the workers) to use the capital to create good which are sold for profit.
It has nothing to say about "maximizing shareholder value" (there might not even be any shareholders). It says nothing about whether avoiding tax is good or bad (and Adam Smith would say it's bad, because it gives advantage to companies with good lawyers, rather than good products, and Smith wanted the competition to be between products so as to yield the greatest good for the greatest number).
Schmidt was confused. He should have said: "It’s called greed. We are proudly greedy." But that wouldn't sound so good.
that's because it's an inverse fried egg, which probably solves the chicken and egg dilemma in a very tasty way.
I just don't get why thin is such a huge selling point for a desktop. Makes sense for a laptop or a tablet, but the desktop just sits there. You don't have to lift it. Smallish is good, but obsessing about thin suggests they're distracting you from the fact that its FUCKING EXPENSIVE and they could, if they cared, give you the same performance for a whole lot less, if they'd just let it get a few mm thicker.
some idiot said:
"According to NOAA, all of the top 10 warmest years on record have occurred after 1997, when skeptics claimed global warming stopped."
One is not inconsistent with the other. If the global temperature flatlined on average after 1997, that would mean that global warming had stopped. But the years since 1997 would still be warmer than the preceding years so, with a bit of randomness, would continue to throw out records.
Personally, I think we're staking a LOT on what could easily be explained as random fluctuations.
a phablet? or a tone?
You have to stand pretty close to see it
The new iPenis MINI !!
Who said size didn't matter?
Like turn on. Then off.
the pictures look more like hip grandma vs. scary bitch, rather than more or less feminine, but what do I know?
How is it _possible_ to give a flying fuck about a phone? It makes calls, it connects to the internet, it farts, it plays a few games.
Obviously I'm not the target market.
Mine's the one with the TC in the pocket (the H fell off a week ago)
Any sufficiently large bureaucracy is indistinguishable from a snail.
Just so long as they don't ever get involved in Olympic security:
"You have 20 seconds to put down the gun"
"You have 20 seconds to put down the gun"
Those that say that e.g. " the real cost of publishing ... concerns finding appropriate peer reviewers, editors and proofreaders" because those services are provided free to the journal publisher by academics. Except proofreading, which is all but nonexistent.
Who would have thought that you could make so much money by employing highly qualified people (writers, reviewers etc) for free?
" A Foveon sensor will record it in either the red channel or the green channel, depending on the wavelength, and can't know that it's all gone wrong."
Apart from sodium vapour lamps, no naturally occurring colours are single wavelengths. So an orange light, which actually spreads all the way from say 450nm to 700nm, to varying degrees, will be picked up by both the red and green channels (maybe even the blue, a little). You should be able to calculate a fairly accurate CIE XYZ coordinates from that, which is all you need for colour reproduction.
Otherwise, not interested. Any camera costing more than £200 is too much for me.
You mistakenly call Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock a boffin. Clearly she isn't that, given her talent for shameless self-promotion; but she isn't a trick-cyclist either. I think we need a new catchphrase at El Reg.
It happened to me twice when driving to Cambridge on the A1. I figured it was either some GPS jamming from a miltary base or Margaret Thatcher's evil miasma.