I suspect this would have been one of the best selling lines in the long history of dodgy Reg merchandise.
109 posts • joined 22 Jun 2010
I suspect this would have been one of the best selling lines in the long history of dodgy Reg merchandise.
My usual response to the inevitable question of what was wrong with it is to answer in a load enough voice for all the office to hear "You have to switch it on / have it plugged in for it to work.
The making people look like idiots system works well for cutting down on repeat calls.
Poundland do some very nice leather belts in various sizes and styles. No doubt they make a profit on that price as well.
You always get more value for your cockups if you play them in pairs.
I don't know of anybody that uses or even has used the (lets copy the Nintendo Wii) Kinnect on the Xbox. It seems to have no real purpose that a gamer would want given the Xbox has always been pushed as having more "hardcore" (i.e. FPS) games than anything Nintendo would consider decent on it's consoles.
Now couple that with effectively destroying Rare as a credible Games producer by forcing them to make second rate games just to support the Kinnect.
Bingo - Two plagues on the bottom line for the price of one.
At least now Rare can, hopefully, get back to producing the quality games, of a type Nintendo would approve of and therefore attract the audience you just alienated.
Sorry, forgot, all the top talent got that pissed off by being forced to produce rubbish that they all left.
I would bet those pair of mismanagements have cost the best part of a billion.
"Although I've only introduced Spam into the equation in fairly recent years, after Plumrose Luncheon Meat [in a similarly sized and shaped, albeit green, tin] disappeared from the market."
I was using Plumrose Luncheon meat this morning and had a few nice Barbel, Chub and a couple of Eels using it. If you really want to actually eat the stuff then my normal stockist is Home Bargains where it goes for 99p a tin. There are without a doubt other stockists who don't care enough about their brand to stock the stuff.
What about Tom?...... and for that matter Jerry.
If the quality is good enough I can see a lot of opportunities for non gaming uses especially when used with high end CAD kit (which has more or less the same hardware requirements) in training and general design work.
There isn't a massive difference between running round the industrial level in Mega Blaster XXX and using the same ideas to train people on a plant layout.
Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
Sir Humphrey: Oh and Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?
Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.
It probably just squats down and leaves a pile of AAA's behind.
To be fair at least that will be quicker, cheaper, more efficient, more reliable than the government will manage.
Being as even Microsoft have now admitted that gamers (and to be fair, everybody's) interest in kinnect is zero or slightly less they might actually allow Rare to start producing good games again. Shame that all the talent got that fed up of overbearing management that they left so now the company is just a shell of the company it once was.
Clouds do seem to have this habit of raining on people.
Now the staff will know nothing about twice as many product lines as before.
A number of Dev's have been paid and had the contracts with Elite cancelled.
This does not of course mean all outstanding debts are paid but the above article gives quite a bit of detail on who has settled and the games involved.
This does leave a few questions.
How many people are still owed money?
What "Classic Games" will be available on launch?
Will it actually work as advertised?
A better solution might be that the infringing company is forced to provide whatever they have offered in the headline print of the advert.
For example - UNLIMITED Broadband for 99p a month.
Should mean the ISP has to provide exactly that, not 99p for the first month and then £25 p/m afterwards plus you must take your telephone line @ £14.99 a month and we charge a one off £75 for "installation" and a £2.50 router. Not of course forgetting that we charge £5 a month to allow you to pay with a credit card and £7.50 a month to send you an email invoice. ....and you must take out a 60 month contract.I wont even comment on the unlimited bit.
At least he should be able to pick up some good stories from any of the expense fiddling MP's that are still partaking of board and lodging at her majesty's pleasure.
You could still get away with...
Pass the dutch-e from the left hand side
It's normally "Spud-faced granny botherer" which is much more factually correct.
Correct, we demand equal opportunity assassins.
"And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractable's, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.”
A truly gifted futurologist who foresaw the coming of Kevin Warwick and his ilk.
Has Kevin Warwick ever managed to pass a Turing test?.
"The Licensed Taxi Drivers Association (LTDA) is planning a demonstration against Uber on 11 June, which it expects to cause severe congestion and traffic chaos in central London"
and we will be able to tell the difference how exactly?
One of the most helpful tools I carry round is a Kindle.
Manuals for all the "odd" software we use, reference books for everything, more or less a full copy of our helpdesk knowledge-base and most importantly, a few novels for when I am waiting for things to happen.
Yes, I know most of this is online somewhere either internally or externally but being as the "online" thing is frequently the problem and I tend to work in a lot of places with no wi-fi / phone signal it has proved it's worth many times.
So the ICO can give a good kick in the profit margins to a company sending out 350k electronic spam messages, how come OFCOM (or somebody else) can't do the same to BT / Virgin / Sky etc for posting about the same amount of unwanted marketing material through my front door. If anything the fine should be larger because at least electronic spam is more environmentally friendly, ask a forest near you. I assume the electronic "marketing material" is no more inaccurate than the printed "marketing material" or if it is they should at least recoup some of the fine when the next Booker prize is given out.
If this ruling applies to the EU why don't Google et al just stop using there, for example, .uk and .de domains and run everything through the .com (which I assume is based in the US) where the ruling doesn't apply?.
At the very least they could put a disclaimer up saying EU based domains will give censored results and for full results use the .com. I would assume they could also give more precedence to the fact a take down notice has been requested and refer people to chilling effects for further details.
Beware the Streisand effect.
I would assume you need some room for the games as well.
The misses is going to kill me.....
"Retail firms continue to be the big spenders on web ads, buying a fifth of the year's total, while financial services companies bought 13 per cent of the ads and the auto industry ran a close third with 12 per cent."
I might buy a DVD off the t'internet but no way would I consider banking with Bank of Uganda or buying a car from a website advert.Those are the sort of things that need a bit more than a sidebar ad before I look at them. That means 25% of the adverts I don't see are wasted on me.
Most Dell kit is that ugly it needs double bagging.
"They trawl through a load of old rubbish and say they'll come up with, I don't know, sales leads - and do they? No. 'Data Scientists', my arse."
That's the giveaway line, no American NSA insider would ever use the word "arse".
Am I the only person that sees this as a quick route for facebook to get a product to market which is (roughly) the equivalent of Google Glass?.
Are we soon to faced with hordes of faceholes?.
Interesting way to boost your business.
Buy an exciting new* technology that a lot of gamers and gaming companies are really interested in.
Because of who you are alienate the whole of the same gamer client base.
Because of how you do business alienate all the gaming studios.
Build a new client base from people who don't even know what the product is or what it does.
Result - VR Candy Crush
*I know it's not at all new or original but you know what I mean
I think a point is being missed here.
MS don't really care about gaming on the PC, witness the gradual closing of studios and abandonment of IP's, but they do care about Xbone gaming a little bit more. At this moment it is obvious from the games released that the PS4 is the better gaming (and selling) machine and even showcase exclusives like Titanfall can't manage full HD on the Xbone. By allowing developers closer to bare metal performance will help to close this gap and help to justify more general gamers (as opposed to fanboi must have that exclusive gamers) buying the Xbone. This of course then gives MS a much better chance of making it's "Xbone as an entertainment centre" vision happen with the associated money rolling in from third party media sales.
Running games better on Windows, no matter which version, is just a bonus.
Pilots disable passengers and crew with knockout gas.
Pilots, knowing about and by now having purloined uber expensive cargo, bail out having set auto pilot to send plane to the most remote place possible.
Pilots quietly disappear and live life of luxury.
Now was that a conspiracy theory I heard or just a film / TV script I half remember. Maybe it was just a repeat of the D B Cooper episode.....
and many many more.....
If you ask a neutral question in the Midlands like "What do you think of faggots?" I would bet that the majority answer would be "lovely with mash, peas and a bit of gravy" and at most 1 in every 100 might even consider it to be a question about homosexuals. Like many words that have been hi-jacked over the years (Hacking for example) some people believe that the new, agenda led meaning is the only meaning and anybody who happens to use the word in it's older (or normal for many people) context is all of a sudden sexist, racist, homophobic, whatever.
However don't worry that your not being marginalised enough because not enough Midland people understand your narrow meaning of a self perceived insult, Midlanders have plenty of terms of abuse and ridicule that can and are used to insult uphill gardeners who pay with nine bob notes to travel on the other bus, just not the word "faggot".
I suppose I can expect a takedown notice for my "Faggot Finder" app which so many foodies have found useful on visits to the Midlands in search of this great delicacy.
I had always sort of assumed that Github was a hub for Gits anyway.
At the moment I am playing through the "South Park - Stick of Truth" game which is censored in Europe but not in the US (on the consoles but not on the PC apparently). I have come across three censored scenes, one regarding anal probing by aliens and two in the local abortion clinic. All the missing material is fully described with an apology to "Europe". Given the American sensitivities around abortion especially I an surprised that this censorship wasn't the other way round - i.e. allowed in Europe and blocked in the US. As I have just taken part in a battle which ends up with my opponent being crushed by a giant breast and myself being crushed by a giant pair of testicles with the battle taking place under the heaving sweaty bodies of a couple making love I find this type of censorship laughable by Apple. Is it a case of chronic bad language, graphic violence, gratuitous sex and outright all round offensiveness is fine so long as its a game but if a real women is displayed in quite an artistic way then its banning material?
Fair comment :)
I suspect that the only people who will bother to turn up in London will be employed at the silicon traffic calming measure or whatever it's called and may not be representative of real life.
Get thee out to the sticks and you will save more than the rail fair in reduced ale prices.
Before this latest burst of interest from the popular press I had already done a "I do not consent, sod off" letter for my GP. When I took it down to the surgery I expected blank looks from the desk staff along the lines of what are you talking about?
To my very pleasant surprise about half way through my first sentence the lady handed me an opt out form pre-printed by the surgery just requiring my name, address and signature. My trust in the practice went up no end especially when a few weeks later my other half was there and her doctor actually raised the issue and offered her an opt out form.
With that level of open defiance from the shop floor it makes you wonder who actually wants the data and what its really for? (rhetorical)
"I can't wait to see what knighthoods and directorships people get for this, surely they will both be large numbers"
Just put that right for you.
Psygnosis - Now owned by Sony
come to mind not to mention many individuals who still work in the industry and as also mentioned companies who have gone into other software genres.
From the Bluetooth.org website
"1.2 Who should join the Bluetooth SIG?
Any company using Bluetooth wireless technology in their products, rebranding or reselling Bluetooth enabled technology, or advertising qualified Bluetooth products must become a member of the SIG. (Membership in the Bluetooth SIG is for companies, not for individuals.)"
Elite are planning on using Bluetooth technology in the product. - That's enough from what it says above.
Even if they are going to reuse an off the shelf chipset I would expect that as a piece of consumer electronics they will still need to get the correct certifications which would include one for the wireless system. (Qualified product?)
Does anybody know how much it costs to join the Bluetooth SIG as I can't seem to find Elite Systems name on there. Or is the required membership going to be funded out of the kickstarter funds?
Something the backers of this project don't seem to realise is that even if everything goes through and the keyboards are delivered then they will most probably be useless paperweights.
Given the kickstarter states they are only certain to work with Elites version of there "licensed" games and the mood among the developers is not at its best to say the least with many now considering legal action to recoup royalties and takedown notices based on such a serious breach of contract it seems unlikely there will be many if any games to play.
At present not one single developer has come forward to say they HAVE received any royalties.
I realise that it's not in kickstarters interest to pull a funded project due to the loss of money they will suffer but I worry that the bad press resulting from this matter will do them significant damage and it would be in there long term interests to put this project on hold until these serious allegations against Elite and Mr Wilcox are investigated. If these matters are resolved then the project can be reinstated, its not as if its time critical after 30 years of waiting.
The developers are all big boys now and can defend themselves via legal remedies but I can see 800 plus kickstarter backers, many of which don't understand there is no obligation to actually deliver anything at all, being stung and the reputation of kickstarter and possibly even the wider Sinclair / Spectrum community being damaged.
"The revived Spectrum is imagined as a superior way to play the retro games Elite delights in making available on modern platforms, and also a rather nice design for a wireless keyboard (albeit not a productivity-enhancing one)"
According to the kickstarter it probably wont be a nice wireless keyboard as it is only cited to work with the compatible games Elite will release. (and IOS only with no guarantee it will work on anything else)
It will also be interesting to see if this means that the original authors of the games in question will now start to receive some of the royalties which, to date, have apparently mysteriously failed to materialize. (http://www.worldofspectrum.org/forums/showthread.php?t=46365)
I notice that Mr Pester ends his tweet with PDP. Are these his initials or the technology the system runs on ?.
So can we assume that all broadband story's will now be quantified using the new Register standard of "low res grumble flicks /second" with additional standards of "HD grumble flicks / second" and "4k grumble flicks / second" as they become more applicable?
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