* Posts by Queeg

110 posts • joined 17 Jun 2010

Page:

Benchmark smartphone drama: We wouldn't call it cheating, says Huawei, but look, everyone's at it

Queeg

From Huawei

Yes we cheated, but we did it for you.

Because we care so much.

still waiting for that sarcasm icon El Reg

5
0

No, eight characters, some capital letters and numbers is not a good password policy

Queeg

I've always preferred ..

Ultra personalized passwords. (Oh God!, not Mothers names and Birthdays) No.

Pick your favourite Book, Song, Poem, etc.

Now pick a line from said work.

e.g "Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping".

Then take the 1st letter of each word and transpose to symbol where needed.

hdm0f!ctTwy484v$c71$w1wS

It's your favourite song, book, etc your probably not going to forget it :)

As individual passwords creating them like this could become a pain, as a master password though I've found it very useful.

Your attacker has to guess your Song,Book,Poem,etc then the part you chose, then the transposition you used.

Good luck with that

2
7

Bloke hurls sueball over Google's 'is it off yet?' location data slurping

Queeg

Googles choice is going to be

"Is it going to cost more than the advertising revenue we get from the location data?".

If it's not they'll pay the fine and find a way to keep on slurping up the info.

Even a huge EU GDPR fine may cost less than what they earn from the data.

31
2

Crypto gripes, election security, and mandatory cybersec school: Uncle Sam's cyber task force emits todo list for govt

Queeg

"As such, the relationship that the Department, including the FBI, builds and maintains with the private sector is critical to our efforts to combat cybercrime."

And the first company to give in to the 3 letter agencies signs it's own death warrant, no-one will touch their products again.

10
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UK.gov agrees to narrow 'serious crime' definition for slurping comms data

Queeg
Big Brother

I'm Guessing...

This is going back to the courts again.

Hardly a surprise as the Government's tactics seem to be grind through

any changes ordered by the respective Courts and slowly

and incrementally as possible.

They know they'll lose but want to do it as slowly as possible.

8
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UN's freedom of expression top dog slams European copyright plans

Queeg

Unfortuately..

It appears A toothless Guard Dog has started barking at a Brainless Giant.

The only way to derail/change this policy is if the Giant's component parts

feels their position/financial security is threatened.

Brussels is like all large lumbering creatures if it doesn't hurt they'll ignore it.

Still waiting for that Sarcasm Icon El Reg

3
10

UK Supreme Court to probe British spy court's immunity from probing

Queeg

Re: Taking back control

This has been a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of about a 1/3 of the Conservative Party.

.

.

.

still waiting for that sarcasm icon El Reg

20
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Mad March Meltdown! Microsoft's patch for a patch for a patch may need another patch

Queeg

So as far as Redmond is concerned

It's no longer the blind leading the blind,

it's the uninterested leading the inept.

same ole same ole

by the way el Registerino's, still waiting for that sarcasm icon

14
2

UK Court of Appeal settles reseller's question: Is software a good?

Queeg

I suspect

this will be one for the European court of fudge and wriggle

2
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El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

Queeg

Won't someone think of the children?... indeed

Let those who have the Legal, Moral and Parental responsibility to do just that.

I have seen news paper articles, tv interviews, half witted rants from MP's

who feel they should show they're standing up for their constituents even when they haven't a clue what they're waffling about, technical, legal, moral and even religious opinions of all flavours and increasingly hysterical aftermaths if we do/don't do something about children accessing smut online.

I have yet to hear any of the Politicians ,Charity reps, tech pundits, or any of those other "I have to say SOMETHING, it'll get me on the telly" dickwits offer the simplest solution.

If children are accessing porn online the 1st and most effective line of defense is the parents.

We are for ever having public heath campaigns rammed down our throats, now is the chance to do so for a good reason.

Blitz the media, slip a reminder onto Google.co.uk's front page, send out the flyers, booklets and Government approved instructions.

I have always relied on a simple idea, "just because you can do a thing, doesn't mean you should."

Rant over you can go back to normal viewing (don't forget to have your photo ID ready though).

32
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Department of Work and Pensions internal docs reveal troubled history of Universal Credit

Queeg

Slow and Steady

Safe and Secure

All your Concerns will be taken under advisement

Think of the Children

"keep going, keep talking, some of the Plebs are nodding. I think it might still work,"

11
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Brit spy wrangler details sign-off process for snooping warrants

Queeg

Look I'm sorry Your Honour...

but we had to slurp, sorry intercept the information without delay.

Yes, I understand you'd only gone for a pee but as I said we couldn't delay.

If it wasn't so close to the future truth I'd laugh.

again El Reg no sarcasm Icon needed here

4
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Billionaire's Babylon beach ban battle barrels toward Supreme Court

Queeg

There is this...

"The cost to him since 2008 has been roughly $1m a year. If the Supreme Court refuses to hear his appeal and the Coastal Commission decides to impose its maximum fees, that would jump to more than $4m a year. But aged 63, he would still be in a position to use his vast wealth to block access to Martins beach for the rest of his life."

California Penal Code 166 PC punishes contempt of court. "Contempt of court" essentially refers to any behavior that is disrespectful to the court process. Examples include (but are not limited to):

being excessively loud or belligerent,

refusing to be sworn in as a witness and/or refusing to comply with the judge's requests during any court proceeding, and

willfully disobeying a court order.1

It's the last example that tends to trigger the greatest penalties and the type of contempt upon which this article will focus.

Penalties

For the most part, contempt of court (including violations of court orders) is a misdemeanor, punishable by up to six months in county jail and a maximum $1,000 fine. That said, there are situations that invite more serious penalties such as higher fines and up to one year in jail and/or a potential state prison sentence.

For a Billionaire 6 Months behind bars would probably feel like 6 years.

Oh by the way, DON'T DROP THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER.

28
1

FCC inspector general sticks corruption probe into chairman Ajit Pai amid $4bn media merger

Queeg

Finally some heat pointed it Pai's direction

Burn, baby burn

53
0

Iran: We have defeated evil nuclear-sensing Western lizards!

Queeg
Trollface

Re: help please

Don't panic, they're just looking for bugs

17
0

Winter Olympics website downed by cyber attack

Queeg
Alert

Call me a cynical old codger..

While I'm sure those young ladies worked hard to sync their routine, the reason they are there is obvious.

"See, North Koreans aren't nuclear armed monsters waiting to fall on South Korea.

We're just ordinary folk like you."

Kim (Rocket Man) Jong Un sent them along with his Sister (who has a really weird smirk on her face in all the footage I've seen, maybe she knows something I don't) on a charm offensive.

Honey gets you more flies than Vinegar.

Have to say I'm not convinced.

You can polish a turd but it still smells like shit.

14
9

Digital version of Universal Credit still pricey, wobbly, failing to deliver – MPs

Queeg

Once again

Arse, Both Hands, Map, Guide Dog and a GPS Unit.

(note to El Reg no need of a sarcasm icon on this one).

9
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Can anyone see a resemblance?

Queeg
Trollface

Can anyone see a resemblance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTHlac9vga4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCmyZcBnC2M

0
0

What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

Queeg
Alien

I can see the accident report now...

Name. Asta Roid

Accident Location. Outside the orbit of Mars

Claimants Statement. I was just following the route I use every day and this Red car came out of nowhere.

21
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Thee really is a Ministry of Truth...

Queeg
Big Brother

There really is a Ministry of Truth...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-42791218

Shit

0
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NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

Queeg

Re: So...

Might I suggest one of the following.

http://static.adweek.com/adweek.com-prod/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/06/BewareOfSarcasm.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/591312552669351937/USRF3YMB.jpg

http://refe99.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Life-Love-Quotes-Sarcasm-Because-Beating.jpg

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.131276572.2426/flat,800x800,075,f.u2.jpg

http://goodquotesword.com/images/92077/z4i_quotes_about_being_s.jpg

Please feel free to add your own.

1
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Queeg

So...

Once Max Schrems and the Court of Justice of the European Union have sunk Privacy Shield.

Do we simply ask "Please Sir, can we have our data back?"

by the way we still need a Sarcasm Icon

19
0

Game of Thrones author's space horror Nightflyers hitting telly

Queeg

Re: Prediction for this comment thread . . .

@ Stevie

Yup

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093626/

0
0

UK drone collision study didn't show airliner window penetration

Queeg

Have to say

Myth Busters have better testing regimes.

The Government seem only to had gotten the Myth bit right.

43
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Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

Queeg

Re: Haven't done a full read through so don't if this has been raised...

Hell yes, I've worked in some frigid little icebox cubicles in my time thanks to ferked up AC.

My home office is always toasty. :)

1
0
Queeg

Haven't done a full read through so don't if this has been raised...

Apple are facing class action suits for slowing their CPU's because of old batteries.

Other than not telling Apploids what they were doing I see no huge problem with that.

I wonder when the first CA is going to hit Intel.

I've been using AMD cpu's since the K series in the late 90's damn I feel old now

Smug but old :)

13
0

Londoners: Ready to swap your GP for an NHS vid doc app?

Queeg

"I swore I'd never use one of these"

"Computer activate the Emergency Medical Holographic program"

.

.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

.

.

"There are 15 angry Octogenarians about to come through that door"

.

.

* I wouldn't laugh to soon if I were you.

3
0

Chinese whispers: China shows off magnetic propulsion engine for ultra-silent subs, ships

Queeg

No Problem

Just get Jones on the case and they're screwed.

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0188845/?ref_=tt_cl_t10

:)

4
0

Schrems busts Privacy Shield wide open

Queeg

Re: They've got to sit down and think about it again

Probably FUBAR it's just so appropriate.

2
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EU court must rule on legality of UK's mass surveillance – tribunal

Queeg

Just in time..

"The judges also refused Privacy International's request that the case be expedited to the European court – which could mean it will be years before a final judgement is made."

Just in time for Terry's Nasty Party to tell Johnny Foreigner to stick the European Court up it's jacksie.

Result for UK Democracy then.

Where's the sarcasm icon when you need it?

29
6

NSA enters stage two of its spying revival plan: Getting Trump onboard

Queeg

Seems about par for the course from the Rump

I hear next week Elmer Fudd gets the Chairmanship for Protection of Wabbits Society.

17
1

Germans force Microsoft to scrap future pushy Windows 10 upgrades

Queeg

"That tweak was rolled out worldwide – so perhaps the above promise on friendlier upgrades will make its way across the globe, too."

I wouldn't put any money on that, we are talking Microsoft here.

25
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GSM gateway ban U-turn casts doubt on 7.5-year prosecution in Blighty

Queeg

Re: "The Crown Prosecution Service has been contacted ...."

On bail for Eight years for allowing people to make phone calls.

You'd have thought someone would have asked "Do we really need to do this?."

6
1
Queeg

"The Crown Prosecution Service has been contacted ...."

So in other words...

Once they've wiped the egg off their faces.

Got their collective feet out of their mouths.

And got their thumbs out of their arses.

They may be in touch.

4
2

Heaps of Windows 10 internal builds, private source code leak online

Queeg

I know that in a world where you don't kick a man when he's down this post is going to suck.

But I have to say it couldn't have happened to a more deserving company.

Screw the popcorn, get the bar open.

22
4

Lexmark patent racket busted by Supremes

Queeg
Mushroom

Takes me back

"(self-destructing cartridges)."

Your mission Jim, should you choose to accept it, ...

*---------------------------------------------------------------------

12
0

We're calling it now: FCC votes 2-1 to rip up net neutrality on Thurs

Queeg

Perhaps it should be Pomeranian Pai.

He's obviously Donnie T Rumps bitch.

5
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US-Europe Privacy Shield not worth the paper it's printed on – civil liberties groups

Queeg
FAIL

EU response.

*Fingers in Ears*

.

La..La..La..La..La..La..La..

.

Have they stopped asking questions about Privacy Shield yet?

.

No!

.

SHIT!

.

*Replace fingers*

.

La..La..La..La..La..La..La..

11
2

Smash up your kid's Bluetooth-connected Cayla 'surveillance' doll, Germany urges parents

Queeg
Boffin

Then again..

They could just remove the batteries.

No more spying and the child keeps the toy.(a little old fashioned I know, dolls without power supplies but this sounds like an emergency after all,)

22
1

Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Queeg

Considering Clarkson's [77] in the lead at time of writing and Tom Bakers [63] mind appears to slipping (too many Jelly Babies).

I suspect we have a Boaty McBoatface situation on our hands.

That's a thought, what about old Dave?

He has to be at least as popular as Jezzer.

3
0

Crim charges slapped on copyright trolls who filmed porn, torrented it then sued downloaders

Queeg
Mushroom

Old Will had the right idea

William Shakespeare's Henry VI, Part2, Act IV, Scene 2.

10
0

Canada asks citizens: How would you like us to spy on you?

Queeg
Black Helicopters

So let me get this straight...

Along with the Brits, the Yanks, the Aussies and the Kiwi's up until Snowden kicked over the trash can the Canucks were also lying, sneaky bastards who would do anything, say anything to get our info.

And now they want our opinion.

Damn! I think my Bullshit Meter just overloaded.

*Black Chopper for obvious reasons

11
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100k+ petition: MPs must consider debating Snoopers' Charter again

Queeg
Big Brother

"In the face of several legal battles, Killock recommends that the debate be used as an opportunity to amend the bill's more questionable legal provisions."

I really can't see High Chancellor May allowing that sort of thing.

(it's enough to curdle your warm milk)

Fingermen to the rescue I suspect..

3
0

Experts to Congress: You must act on IoT security. Congress: Encourage industry to develop best practices, you say?

Queeg
Coat

We're talking politician here..

They are literally paid to spout bullshit and do as little as possible to rock the boat.

Until someone causes a Senator to drop dead on national TV by screwing with the firmware of their pacemaker they will do nothing.

* for those who didn't vote for Donnie T Rump that was NOT a suggestion.

although "those 2nd Amendment people could do something"

Getting my coat,that'll be the one with the tin foil lining.

6
1

Blighty's Home Office database blunders will deprive hundreds of GB driving licences

Queeg

I refer you to an earlier comment

Both hand...Map...Guide Dog...GPS Unit.....Arse

Nuff said again

5
0

TalkTalk gets record £400k slap-slap from Brit watchdog

Queeg

Not enough 0's

32
1

HP Ink COO: Sorry not sorry we bricked your otherwise totally fine printer cartridges

Queeg
FAIL

Sorry to hear about your miscommunication snafu HP...

One thing though.

Can you say Class Action?

No matter how dumb you think people can be,

the Universe is always ready to produce one with a lower IQ.

5
0

IBM botched geo-block designed to save Australia's census

Queeg

"If you build it, they will come"

and fuck it up

While I am sure IBM deserve a serious kick up the arse (and will get it if any Aussie politician/media whore get they're way).

Talk about naive "We want a system that is totally secure", "Fine, disconnect it from the outside world."

"Oh, and remember to unplug it at the power socket in the wall".

I suspect both sides are equally deserving of the titles Dickwit,Fuckwit and Asshat of the week.

12
1

UK Labour man Owen Smith: If you wanna be a leader, you gotta stop with that lens

Queeg

Arse..Two hands...Map...Guide Dog...GPS Unit...

Nuff Said.

6
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HSBC: How will we verify business banking customers? Selfies!

Queeg
Alert

Has nobody considered...

"Now Mr CEO, you will stand there looking calmly into the smartphone camera my colleague is holding.

Or we will cut another finger off your wifes hand."

Brutal scenario I admit but you'd have thought someone would have brought it up in the planning meeting.

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