* Posts by Neil

113 posts • joined 30 May 2007

Lords call for variable VAT to cut landfill

Neil

Edumacation

Educate the masses to appreciate being green and feel warm and fuzzy about it, meanwhile ensure that products can be produced and packaged greenly at no additional cost to regular packaging. The result, green products sell well, non-green products have to adapt to survive or die. Problem solved.

0
0

COBOL thwarts California's Governator

Neil

Cobol

Back in 1998 I was at college and the C teacher had a breakdown just as we were about to start the 2nd year. So after a fun year of Pascal with a view to C++ in year 2 it was announced we had to learn COBOL instead.

It was the dullest year of my life. Anyway, if a program is written well enough to run for 30 years then credit where credit is due. The problem is that nobody was forward thinking enough to suggest a change before they realised it was too late.

0
0

OpenGL 3.1 promise follows gamer revolt

Neil

Gamers

If you want to play games go and get a games console. You can't seriously expect a developer to drop CAD users who have been using the technology for 20 years and will continue to do so, in favour of gamers who will be screaming for OPENGL version 4 before the next version of Tomb Raider so that they can get a more moist looking breast?

0
0

AMD releases 'world's fastest' graphics card

Neil

Trust me...

...640k will be all the RAM you will ever need.

0
0

Linux on mobiles will put the squeeze on MS, says Zemlin

Neil

@ Coward

"The manufacturers have finally woken up, it has been the year of the Linux desktop for many years, now usability has surpassed windows for the average user, we are seeing the market share move up in bounds."

I hear there is a job going for a new Iraqi information minister, you'd make a good candidate.

0
0

HP shatters excessive packaging world record

Neil

Plenty of culprits

I received a 5 user CAL (A5 sheet of paper) in a large box with air bag packaging around it this morning from Computer 2000. They could of posted it in an envelope.

0
0

The Top Ten 3G iPhone beaters

Neil

shirley you must be wrong

what no tyttn II?

I think the work experience boy wrote this list

0
0

Microsoft pledges to fight Vista 'myths'

Neil

@Steve

By Steve

Posted Tuesday 8th July 2008 19:59 GMT

... It's a damn sight better than XP.

Is that the extent of the myth busting?

0
0

'Anaconda' 200m rubber snake generator scheme gets funding

Neil

Welcome

I for one welcome our phallic wave dwelling overlords.

0
0

Dell offers 'Windows Vista Bonus' to frightened customers

Neil

The Vista test

I had 2 identical laptops arrive last week, both HP's with Vista on.

I fired them both up at the same time, one with an XP install CD in.

I managed to get XP installed, plus all drivers, and sitting on the desktop ready to use faster than Vista booted, ran a speed test and auto-installed the HP bundled crap on laptop 2.

Vista is poor on like for like hardware, but lets not forget the extra strain put on it by shoddy bundled software out of the box. MS should put some quality control on this kind of thing.

0
0

An iPhone with a keyboard?

Neil

Keyboards

Have tried on screen keyboards. Palms graffiti method was usable, Windows Mobile onscreen keyboard is fiddly, my HTC slide out qwerty keyboard is spot on and I can type far quicker than I can dob with a stylus.

Functionality and ease of use will always prevail.

0
0

The war on photographers - you're all al Qaeda suspects now

Neil

Once upon a crime...

so did this gentelman then go home having had his films confiscated and spend countless lawful hours looking at said sensitive buildings on google earth?

0
0

GTA IV website prompts outrage

Neil
Pirate

All your base...

In this game if you go to a website for a beauty pagent, you become a wanted criminal. You are punished for doing something bad.

Just this weekend I watched a film called "Broken Flowers" on BBC1 with Bill Murray. In this film he visits a woman who is 13/14yrs old, walks around naked, is named "Lolita" and offers a popsicle to Murray. This scene was in the film to raise the open question "would you?", and offers no conclusive answer or moral argument not to.

If the former scene was in the film, and the latter was in the game, the media would still jump on GTA because computers are widely misunderstood, and anything that isn't understood can be promoted as evil to the masses. Just like a good old witch hunt.

0
0

Parallels slices and dices OS X with Server for Mac

Neil

We love you Steve

So does this mean we can run OSX server in Parallels on an MS box (legally)?

0
0

Stray left foot washes up on Vancouver beach

Neil
Coat

Foot-sea

My friend has 2 left feet....he wears flip flips.

Coat

Gone.

0
0

Tory trash talk fails to halt bin bugging plans

Neil

Neighbour fly tipping

So we need a chip in each bin, a lock on each bin to stop neighbours using them, and the binmen can have a seperate truck to carry the keys for all the bins in.

Or the government could apply pressure to the companies who package everything 3 times and observe the effect of reduced packaging = reduced consumer waste.

A mass wheelie bin protest would be quite comical though if we all wheeled our bins to the council offices with pitch forks.

0
0

Apple's Snow Leopard to cut the bloat from Mac OS X

Neil

Maciots

It's interesting to see how the level of technical know how takes a nose dive when little Steve's make comments.

@Chris and Richard - How do you think Vista got to be as inefficient as it is? It's because redundant code wasn't stripped and existing code wasn't optimised. You should be happy that your OS is being streamlined to offer you the best possible performance on your current hardware. I'm sure your reaction would be different if Apple told you SLeopard would need you to but an extra 2gb of RAM for it to run as efficiently as your current OS.

I think this is good news for everyone.

0
0

Crimestoppers learn the joy of text

Neil

STFU

So if the messages are encrypted and randomly routed....how do you peice 2 texts together at the receiving end when you go over 160 chars?

"...he's downstairs with a gun, my address is" "my neighbour isn't paying for his tv license..."

Stop this madness put more bobbys on the beat. Better still put the army on the beat with wolves to sort out all these chavs with dogs. And pets.

0
0

T5 Transformers t-shirt bust: Shock snap

Neil
Dead Vulture

I got away with it

I once went through Heathrow and had to take my jacket off to go through security. I didn't realise until I took it off that I was wearing a red t-shirt with "CRIMINAL" written across my chest and back in large clear letters. An offense in itself. Security staff however didn't bat an eye.

I think this backs up the Transformers story quite well. Completely illiterate, but they can spot a transformer picture from 50 yards.

0
0

Five misunderstood Vista features

Neil

@ Coward

"Anyone using it is either a Microsoft person (Including all you Gold Partners and so on who are just about the only people praising Vista"

As an MS Gold Partner I can honestly say we recommend "Vista Business"...so that you can express your downgrade right to XP Pro with SP3.

We are constantly evaluating alternatives such as Linux and OSX, and IMHO if MS don't get it right with the next OS the competitors will have native directory services (i.e. not NT4 emulation) and we will be the partner of whoever offers the best option for our customers.

0
0

Dixons admits 'it's even worse than you thought'

Neil
Dead Vulture

T'internet

In the future there will be the internet, and there will be Tesco's. Dixons does have a role in the final solution.

0
0

HSBC in further data loss

Neil

Keeping your poop in a jar...

...Time to close my HSBC account I think.

0
0

Windows XP SP3 leaps into the tubes

Neil

no more updates...

Yay. Installed this on a new PC which came with SP2 XP and Office 2007 "trial" on it. After SP3 it immediately found 4 Windows udpates, not so bad, and 850mb of Office updates!!!!

0
0

GTA IV PS3 fights off resolution woes in the UK

Neil
Heart

Nothing new

Reminds me of the days you would buy a speccy game based on the screenshot on the back, only to load up some monochrome pap and read "Screenshot from Arcade, actual graphics may vary".

0
0

Radiohead diss freetards

Neil
Alert

boxtard

never mind free downloads, when will they stop selling physical CD's in these horrible cardboard foldy cases. Is it too much to ask for my album in a jewel case???? IS IT?

0
0

Move over Storm - there's a bigger, stealthier botnet in town

Neil

Which one

So which anti-virus product DOES detect and remove it?

0
0

Need a new duster? Avoid Woolies

Neil
Dead Vulture

Lol

New in at number 1 - Fisting the Dead

This guy should name Ubuntu releases, Fisting the Dead is far catchier than Dapper Drake.

0
0

Exec sounds death knell for games consoles

Neil
Gates Halo

Evolution

So consoles will become devices that perform multiple functions?

Of course, the Amiga returns!

0
0

Apple forbids Windows users from installing Safari for Windows

Neil
Coat

Apple Label

Gala or Pink Lady?

0
0

US airline pilot pops a cap in cockpit

Neil
Coat

Accidental Discharge?

Surely not?

It's true. And don't call me Shirley.

0
0

Mozilla CEO blasts Apple for putting security of the internet at risk

Neil

fire with fire

It's unscrupulous yes, but how else do you compete with a browser that's bundled with Windows?

0
0

Vista SP1 on track for mid-March release?

Neil
Dead Vulture

Vista SP1

The PC Pro review of SP1 is quite interesting. A file takes something like 11 seconds to copy from a usb key on XP, and 45 seconds on Vista with SP1.

File copying....the fundamentals of an OS and it's screwed.

In my opinion Vista is nothing more than XP with a few applications bolted on. Defender, UAC and desktop seach.

The most depressing thing of it all though is that I don't think Linux will step in and steal Windows thunder and OSX doesn't have the enterprise features required for the business market.

Time to hit Ebay and find me an Amstrad PCW I think.

0
0

Manhunt 2 gets green light for UK release

Neil
Pirate

I have no friends...

...I have no friends Giles...I've been playing Battlefield for 6 years now and have managed not to knife, ex-pack, grenade or shoot anyone on my commute to work.

Just because the graphics are more realistic I don't think it is more likely to turn someone into a psychopath. Films look real after all.

In my opinion games in the 80's and early 90's which had no ratings and poor graphics are just as likely to have turned someone in to a rabid slashing maniac as modern games. You had to use your imagination after all to get through the crude graphics.

0
0

Why I downgraded from Vista to XP

Neil
Gates Halo

Solutions

People moaned in the same way when they tried to install XP on a Celeron 300. The difference back then was that there were clear advantages to getting XP running, cached logons shorted boot time etc.

While I now have Vista running smoothly on an up to date machine, the question still remains "what is the advantage of this OS"?

Artificial factors aside such as making DX10 Vista only, I can think of none.

OSX is not an enterprise alternative. Ubuntu, is not an enterprise alternative. Linux comes in more flavours than even Vista.

The solution would be XP's software catalog and enterprise features, OSX's ease of program use (DWG files) and linux's security.

Or OSX with Active Directory :p

0
0

Microsoft's cloudy vision revealed

Neil
Jobs Horns

Partners

As a partner I'm not especially worried. I don't expect I'll be recommending software as a service until fibre or other high speed reliable internet access is in place for the majority of businesses.

All partners should expect to have to adapt over the years to work with in the ever changing industry.

0
0

Apple optimistic it will sell 10 million iPhones by year's end

Neil

Idjots

10 million idiots that's what I say. The iphone is on a par with the man bag. Only less useful.

0
0

TangoX dances in to challenge Eee PC, CloudBook

Neil
Gates Halo

Speak and spell

I'm all for ultra portables but with a screen resolution of 800x600 this will become painful to use in no time. Small hi-res screens please.

Bill, because we all love him really.

0
0

Microsoft splits Server 2008 for SMB

Neil
Paris Hilton

For the love of god...

...why can't they just sell Server and Exhange at a reasonable price, make the money from larger companies through license sales, allowing smaller businesses to buy into it as they need fewer licenses.

Microsofts product range should read:

Windows Vista - for workstations.

Windows Server - for servers.

And then Exchange, SQL etc as standalone applications as they already are.

Paris, because she's my favourite boxed product.

0
0

Symantec Endpoint Security throws out error bugs

Neil
Dead Vulture

Where in the world?

"It blows my mind, that people, especially corporations and universities with so much to lose, would ever place their network security and valuable data to the likes of Symantec."

I agree that the consumer products that PC World try to push like heroin are utter tripe and serve only to slow your PC down, but the corporate products have been good. A combination of Backup Exec and AV10 are more than acceptable.

The release of V11 however has changed my opinion of all that, and I now class SEP with the same low regard as the consumer products having experienced it first hand. I now recommend Trend AV.

Lets hope Backup Exec 12 isn't about to go the same way.

0
0

Symantec heads for the cloud with storage and back-up service

Neil
Jobs Horns

uh oh

Anyone who has tried upgrading from Symantec Anti-Virus 10 to 11 will tell you that Symantec royally ballsed it up. Lets hope they don't do the same to Backup Exec, I'm kinda fond of the old dog.

I'm all for backing up over the internet but I don't recommend it to my customers when a removable tape is still an option. The reason being that a bare-metal restore from an adsl line is going to take a hell of a lot longer than popping a tape in. Nice to see the technology maturing though, I'll hang on for that fibre to come up through my sewer.

Jobs, because no doubt in the near future he will hook time machine up to online storage and claim he invented online backups...unless he already has.

0
0

IBM explores 67.1m-core computer for running entire internet

Neil

Ultrium?

Teh interweb on one server?

I hope you'll be taking nightly backups

0
0

100Mbit/s sewer broadband rollout coming your way

Neil
Heart

Could you please...

...dump and flush the log please sir. I see the problem sir, Steve at number 42 had a vindaloo last night and you're sharing his contention. Shitty luck sir.

Love heart, because the fall of BT can't come soon enough.

0
0

Shuttle launches Intel X38-equipped gaming SFF PC

Neil

My knees are standing firm

"Why have such a huge tower when you can have this little ferret instead"

Because this little ferret will either

A) over heat like every other shuttle case ever made when fitted with high end gfx cards

or

B) Scream because so many fans have been fitted to deal with the high end gfx cards.

resulting in shuttle case being used without the lid on. Silly shuttle.

0
0

Microsoft's sex-obsessed RoboSanta spouts filth at children

Neil
Gates Horns

Awesome!

Neil says:

crack is awesome

- Santa - says:

Crack sure is.

Neil says:

Heroin is awesome

- Santa - says:

Heroin and many others!

0
0

Ugly view mars Windows Vista birthday

Neil
Dead Vulture

Maybe....

...Vista seems terrible because XP works so well? :D

0
0

Remembering the IBM PC

Neil

Read it again

I think you'll find it says "as the creator of a BASIC interpreter for the Altair 8800"

Not the inventor of BASIC.

0
0

Macs seized by porn Trojan

Neil
Boffin

Jamie Davies....

...anthropomorphised, To ascribe human characteristics to things not human. It appears the Davies family must have hooves.

This is installed when a user is stupid enough to enter his root password for a supposed codec to watch a porn film. Some idiot is always going to fall for it. The only way this can be avoided is for OS's to only allow applications signed by a trusted authority to run.

This is what Orange have done to my SPV and I sent it back to them the next day. I hope this isn't the way we are heading.

0
0

Fasthosts customer? Change your password now

Neil
Stop

Farcehost

"... gained access to some of our internal systems via network connections. This security breach was only possible because of a security vulnerability which was forced illegally."

So Fasthosts were only protected themselves against the legal security vulnerability I presume?

Anyone out there still using Fasthost I suggest you move quickly. This isn't the first time as we all know, and it won't be the last time that they shoot themselves in the foot. Best to part company and let it be their problem and not yours.

0
0

Ballmer: Google is winning online

Neil
Unhappy

Global Domination

SpitefulGod: "I've had vista for 16months and not had any issues"

Someone is telling porky pies.

Why oh why do Microsoft think they have to have a finger in EVERY pie. Make an OS and make it well. Then make some Office apps, and make them well. The only thing Vista has done in my household has made me try alternatives, and I'm very hapily using XP on my desktop and OSX on my laptop now. Vista on my PC? not in my lifetime.

0
0

MIT student walks into airport wearing circuit board and wires

Neil

Now that's lucky

She should try that stunt in the London tube.

0
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018